


Magictale

by The_Wizard_of_Words



Category: Undertale, ゼロの使い魔 | Zero no Tsukaima | The Familiar of Zero
Genre: Adventure, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Asgore's Lance, Comedy, Complete, Crossover, Determination, F/F, Familiar Replacement, Minor Angst, Misunderstandings, Overpowered Hero, Rule of Cool, Undyne the Undying - Freeform, ignorance is bliss
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-02
Updated: 2019-06-02
Packaged: 2020-04-06 07:50:17
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 25
Words: 289,527
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19058362
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/The_Wizard_of_Words/pseuds/The_Wizard_of_Words
Summary: In Tristian's Magic Academy, Louise asked the void for the greatest familiar in all the land. A great familiar that would not be looked down upon, that would show the strength of her heritage, and the will of iron that showed her determination.In the depths of Waterfall, Undyne wanted to escape the Underground. She wanted to free her people from the confines of their hold and to see the endless blue sky and land that her king told her off, to be able to make everyone's dreams come true.What happens when these magical worlds collide? Guess this is a case of being careful what you wish for.





	1. Ready for Anything

**Author's Note:**

> If you enjoy this story, and I want to see where it goes or ask me questions, try and jump on my Discord to talk with everyone else. You won't be alone, I promise.
> 
> discord.gg/fgeV4ra
> 
> If you're really into my stories, and I can't thank you enough for it, try and check out my Patreon to see if there are any rewards you'd like to participate in. Be one of the first and be one of my heroes!
> 
> https://www.patreon.com/WizardofWords

Undyne stared up at the glowing crystals of Waterfall. It was the only thing she really felt like doing at the moment. Only thing she felt like doing because there was nothing else to do.

No cooking lesson with Papyrus.

No human history lessons with Alphys.

No tea or training with Asgore.

She didn't even have any traps she had to check on.

It was just Undyne, her armor, and the glowing rocks of the Underground's cavernous ceiling. The same unchanging glowing rocks that were always there. Blinking against one another, dotting the rocky outcrops that always threatened to fall, doing absolutely nothing else.

Kind of exactly what Undyne was doing.

Still it could be worse… somehow. At least there wasn't any reason to actually start worrying about anything. Asgore always did say that a boring day was a safe one. He said that whenever he said they were going to have tea instead of training, or when she wished for humans to show up, or Papyrus followed her to meet him, or anything actually. Boring may have been safe but boring was boring!

"Ugh," a drawl noise came from her lips, slipping past her razor teeth. "Ya know it only gets bad when you start talking to yourself. Wait… dang it!" She let her armored fist rise and fall to the stone outcrop she was sitting on. The stone splintered, cracked, and fell apart beneath the blow.

A hiss fell past her razor sharp teeth, currently turned into a sneer. She lifted her hand from the rubble that was once a rock. She lifted it to her head, massaging her temples. What was it about boredom that gave you a headache? Were you just so bored that your mind literally started to hurt itself just for something to do? Alphys would know, too bad she was too busy to talk.

Undyne shook her head as she sat up, pinching the bridge of her nose. The only thing that really kept her from thinking she was losing her mind was the constant and continuous fall of water. Be kinda weird to be in Waterfall without hearing that. Not that it did a lot of good for her boredom.

"Could we worse," she started to say. "Could be sitting through Sans stand-up comedy again. Or one of the more boring anime shows Alphys found like why am I still _talking?_ " She shook her head with the words, as if hoping to knock out whatever was possessing her to speak. All it did was make her dizzy. Great.

Another harsh grunt left her mouth before she started to stalk off. Her good eye scanned the rocks and crystals, looking for anything that might have been out of place. Even if it was, she probably wouldn't have recognized it, but she checked anyways. It was something to do and doing nothing was the worst. It was way too much to ask for something interesting to happen. Most that would get was some new trash down at the dump.

Wait… that was an idea. May not have been the best thing to do, but if there was nothing else to do then the dump it was! No better place to pick up chicks! The Captain of the Guard trekked the familiar ground to her home, leaping past the entrance to jump into knee deep water. Oh, she knew something was going to be there now.

The rumble of the water falls reached her ears even through her metal helm. The familiar hum and roar of the water always did give a matched sense of awesomeness. That was totally a word. It came up a lot when the humans were getting ready to dive into some vast portal. Going to the dump felt just like that.

And when she got there, it was exactly the same as she remembered it.

The same few humps of useless trash, the same wooden platforms tethered to the bottom of the water, the same pit just beyond the dump, and the same magic glass hovering just faintly in the air. Dang that magic glass. If that hadn't changed, what chance was there of anything else changing.

"Hey, c'mon, there might be something," Undyne spoke through her helm. "Not like everything you find has to be big enough to stick out of the water. You did find that wicked sword underneath the I AM DONE _TALKING_ TO MYSELF!"

If there was anyone around the dump, they would have jumped at her voice. At least they usually did. No response meant no one was there. Doesn't mean they weren't going to come.

That just meant she had to get digging while the digging was good. Her armor was great for looking intimidating, but it was even better at digging through piles and piles of trash! Didn't want to have those shards of metal surprising her again, not unless they were attached to giant spears or drills.

Eh, one wish at a time. One did not count the scrap sheet of metal she found. If she could pick it up, it was scrap. Didn't matter that it was taller than Asgore. Down the pit it went.

Really, Undyne just wanted something new. She'd be ready for anything she found. A new historical show for and Alphys to watch, some flower seeds Asgore could help her grow. Heck, she'd settle for a blanket she could throw over Sans when he was sleeping.

Not like she wouldn't have a chance to do it. That monster kid would probably appreciate anything she found.

Wow, she really was bored, searching the dump for gifts for monsters she hardly ever saw.

At this rate she'd be the next Santa Claus, right after Asgore of course. Kinda hard to beat the king on that front though. She didn't have the white fur the guy was supposed to be made of. She let out chuckle as she threw a fridge over her head. It was one of those cold fridges. She preferred the warm ones.

Maybe there was something in the water instead. A few kicks with her metallic boots only served to splash the water around. A few dozen feet into the air, sure, but it didn't really show anything new. The same damp and murky paper that fell to the bottom of the water pool, broken and crunched up material that not even Alphys could make useful again. Junk in a junkyard. What a surprise.

Her excitement fell back to boredom when Undyne found there really was nothing new. Just the same as it ever was. What a rip off. Here she was, the Captain of the Royal Guard, ready for anything and willing to take on anything. She had trained her whole life for being able to take down the giant robots the humans had made, using magic in ways the main chick in Kissy 2 couldn't.

But boredom? She didn't know how to stave that off.

Dejected, Undyne turned to leave the junkyard, marking it up as a wasted trip. Whatever, those were bound to happen once in a while. No scales off of her hide when that happened. Just meant there would be better chances next time.

It was right about that train of thought that Undyne felt something fall on her. It wasn't heavy, whatever it was. Kinda felt like being hit with a pillow at a sleepy over. A pillow being thrown by Asgore when he wanted to show why he was the king of the monsters.

Again, it didn't hurt, especially through the armor, but it did knock Undyne off her feet. She'd swear later that it didn't. But later seemed pretty far away when she was having trouble getting back up.

"Huh?" she spoke aloud, pushing her hands against the bottom of the water pool. She didn't feel the familiar crunchy and water logged material. She felt… nothing? That didn't make sense. Was her boredom that bad?

"The heck's going on?"

She arched her back in her armor, attempting to look over the water surface to see if she could spy whatever was messing with her. Maybe Sans was pulling one of his pranks again. She'd have to pulverize him if that was the case. But she just saw nothing still.

Undyne began to sink into the water.

"The crap is going on!?" Her voice let out as she started to slowly sink into the water. It would have been beyond embarrassing if she weren't seriously wondering what was happening.

Was she… was she getting pulled into the void? No way she'd let that happen!

Her spears came to life, shooting out of the water and hanging above her. She reached for one, grabbing it with all her might. She did a pull-up, easy to do as lifting her leg. What she expected was to rise out of the water. Instead, the spear came closer to her. Her groan was perfectly melted with annoyance.

"C'mon! This ain't _funny_!" She didn't know if she was talking to herself. She didn't care. She needed an out. She needed to get out of the dump. But she couldn't see a way out. "Hey! Anyone out there! Could really use a hand over here! Papyrus! Alphys! Anyone!"

She screamed as she pulled on more of her spears, every new construct weaker than the next. She was going nowhere, she was being dragged into nowhere. This wasn't cool, this was all sorts of uncool and horrible. Was this seriously how she was supposed to go out?

No! She had too much to do! She had to live on! She had to make everyone's dreams come true! She couldn't do that if she wasn't there! The Underground needed her!

" _Help_!"

Undyne finally yelled out, pride disappearing with her legs.

"I could really _use some HELP!_ " She yelled louder than before, sure that her voice would carry over the waterfall, past the caves, and straight into Snowdin. She knew it would reach, it had to…

But nobody came.

Nobody saw Undyne disappear into the void. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Why am I writing something like this? Because Undyne needs love dammit and I can't think of a better way then putting her in a magic anime world!
> 
> But, to be fair, I kind of considered Asgore for this first, but decided against it because he'd be too similar to Saito in the end run (overly peaceful powerful warrior). Undyne at least allows for some pretty crazy acts. Can you imagine her intimidating someone by suplexing a boulder? I can and it sounds awesome!
> 
> So by the rule of cool and law of Undyne, I'm making her the next big thing, hopefully…
> 
> If you are enjoying this story, and I want to see where it goes or ask me questions, try and jump on my Discord to talk with everyone else. You won't be alone, I promise.
> 
> discord.gg/fgeV4ra
> 
> If you're really into my stories, and I can't thank you enough for it, try and check out my Patreon to see if there are any rewards you'd like to participate in. Be one of the first and be one of my heroes!
> 
> https://www.patreon.com/WizardofWords


	2. She Must Be New To Tristian

"C'mon Zero! Make something happen!"

"Show us absolute Zero!"

"Careful this time, dear Zero. Make sure you leave enough land to walk on!"

"Better get some helmets on for the explosion!"

Louise ignored them all. They were jeers she had heard ever since she came to the academy. Be it in front of the professors or in the dining hall, her name was only ever spoken of with zeros and mockery, nothing or negatives. She didn't care because it didn't matter.

She was Louise de La Vallière, the third daughter of one of the most powerful noble families in Tristian. She was not to be put down by petty words and gossip. Mockery was only a weak form of penance. She had committed failures, more than she'd care to admit, but that didn't matter.

All that truly mattered to anyone was what came in the end.

And the end was the summoning ritual. Here, today, she would summon forth a familiar unlike any the Tristian Magical Academy had seen before.

It would be a noble familiar worthy of her standing, able to part the crowds with its presence and make fools of those who dared to mock her. It would be able to turn every failure of her past into nothing but memories, the first step to show that she was far more than some untalented noble.

It would be the first of many steps to show the strength of her blood and power of her magic.

"Please, quiet down now," Professor Colbert announced. His voice was far from strong, but his position carried its weight. He waved his large staff lightly with his words, though only for show. The jeers of her 'peers' died down swiftly.

"Now, Ms. Vallière, are you prepared for the summoning ritual?" She knew she was.

"I am, professor," she spoke in return, pride in her voice and strength in her stance. The rule of steel needed both to work. She needed her every advantage to bring forth the familiar she needed.

"Whenever you are ready, Louise," Professor Colbert spoke to her, kindly as he spoke to everyone else. Hand on his staff, he held a book to his chest, smiling at her with sincerity. Louise returned his words with a nod. She would not let him down. She would not let herself down.

Louise stepped forward to approach the circle, a collection of runes transcribed by Professor Colbert himself. She readied her wand in her hand, pointing it at the intricate pattern carefully. A deep breath came and left her, slowing her thoughts and focusing her mind. If Louise was to summon her familiar, the greatest the Academy had ever seen, she would need absolute focus.

" _My servant that exists somewhere in this vast universe, my divine, beautiful, wise, powerful servant, heed my call_!"

Louise felt the magic flowing through her. She was doing it! She felt the strength that was her Vallière family's namesake.

But it wasn't over. Not yet.

" _I wish for you to show yourself to me. I wish for you to follow as I speak. I wish from the very bottom of my heart to ask of you your guidance!_ "

She thrust her wand forward, commanding the summoning circle with all her might!

" _APPEAR_!"

And it exploded.

Louise threw up her arms as the loathsomely familiar cloud of soot and dirt peppered her vision. Equally familiar cries of surprise took over the grounds, at least those that were not deafened and muted by the explosion itself. Her cape pulled at her neck, dress skirt taunt against her from the force.

A part of Louise truly wished the blast had just killed her. Even as the dust began to drop and the few crumbs of earth settling back down, the fruit of her efforts was obvious.

There were none. She had failed, again.

Just like with her many attempts at Fireball, she had failed. She had made nothing but a poor show of magical control, a harsh insult to her family's talent.

Louise, the Zero, a failure even when it mattered most.

But she would not allow this to faze her, not in a way that would show. Before the smoke had truly cleared, Louise straightened herself, standing to her tallest to prepare for whatever insults and jives her fellow students would throw at her. She was Louise de La Vallière.

She would not let petty words or even failure defeat her. It was the Rule of Steel.

The smoke began to truly subside now, enough for Louise to see the summoning circle, or what remained of it. She had prepared herself for a mass of missing earth, maybe just some scorched land. She would be allowed to summon the familiar again; she had to.

It didn't matter if it took multiple tries. She would get it. Louis _would_ do it. She-

Was staring at something crouching in the circle.

"I did it…"

Her heart leapt to her throat at the sight, almost audible given the silence that had fallen over the courtyard. Not a student nor their familiars made a sound as the figure became clearer to see. And a figure it was. Louise had summoned a familiar!

 _She_ had summoned a familiar. _She_ didn't fail!

"I did it! I did it! Yes! Thank the founder, I did it!" Louise nearly jumped into the air, her excitement building. But she composed herself as a noble should. Instead she took to studying her new familiar, letting the crowd of jeerers behind her stew in their embarrassment.

It was a bipedal creature, obvious by its crouched posture. Scales as black as night were adorned over its body, some of which jutted off to make imposing spikes. A long band of red fell from atop its head, appearing to be sharp as flames.

Its claws were white, a contrast to the darkness that was the rest of its body, but it fit nicely, elegantly even. Louise had to bite her lip as her familiar then began to move.

A growling noise came from the creature as it stood, sounding to be heavier than even Tabitha's dragon. The sound came from every part of Louise's brand new familiar, making its imposing all the more threatening, in the best of ways.

If a griffon or a dragon were a sign of high power and might, then this new familiar of hers would be worth just as much, if not more!

It stood up to an impressive height, towering over Louise. Its face was menacing without compare, appearing to have rows of teeth that matched its dark scales, the red of flames churning just past them. Sharp yellow eyes looked out beyond slits, looking over the crowd.

It was at that moment Louise realized something else. Not just that she had summoned a familiar and not that it was one that looked more imposing than even Tabitha's dragon.

Louise had no idea what kind of creature she had summoned. Apparently, no else did either.

"What the heck is that?"

"Is that a monster or something?"

"Dude, the Zero summoned a baby dragon, didn't she?"

"No way the Zero just pulled that off."

"S-Still, far from as elegant as _my_ familiar."

Louise let them talk, let them lick their wounds and poorly attempt to save their pride. In the end, they were wrong. She had summoned a grand familiar, imposing, tall and powerful.

And she could tell by the look in the creature's sharp eyes that it understood who her master was.

* * *

Undyne was doing everything she could not to freak out.

One minute she was sifting for treasure in the dump, the next she was falling through some nothing portal, and now she was standing in front of humans.

_HUMANS!_

Not one or two, but dozens of them. So many that they could destroy the barrier of the Underground three times over! They were all just children, gathered around like a freaking potluck. It was almost too good to be real. That was what was getting her.

This was too good to be real. It felt like those shows Alphys would watch with her, where the hero was having some perfect dream only to wake up tied to the bed or something… There was _really_ no way this many humans had just showed up in Waterfall randomly, not without the guard patrols giving her the heads up.

Heck, not without Papyrus running across the entire Underground to let her know!

Something was seriously wrong here. She couldn't put her finger on it, but it was really bad. Bad enough that she didn't know if she should pick up the nearest human in front of her and run or just knock them all out. Asgore needed just one more soul, just one.

If they got one more human soul, then the monsters could be _free_.

Undyne twisted her head to look up. They could go outside… they could… they…

They _were_ outside.

She stared up at the sky. _The sky!_

It was right there, right above her. No glowing crystals, no stalagmites, just an endless blue sky. It was… it was really endless. No walls, no ceiling, nothing. Just an endless blue with blotches of white.

Undyne fell to her knees. Hard. She ignored the humans' cries of fright just as much as the 'boom' her armor made. They didn't matter right now.

All that mattered was the sky above her. And the sun! Jeez that sun! It was huge, it was beautiful! It was like all those stories Asgore and Gerson had told her after her training. It was just a ball in the sky, but it felt warmer than sitting next to a fire.

She really… couldn't describe it. But that was probably because she probably couldn't see it. Stupid helmet!

She gripped and removed the hulk of metal, letting it hit the ground with a dull 'thud'. She could hear the humans talking, but she still couldn't care. She couldn't care because they didn't matter.

They didn't matter because Undyne really was outside! She was passed the barrier and the proof was all around her!

The sky really was endless above her. The sun really was bright as fire above her. The ground really was covered with grass beneath her.

And the air… the wind… _everything_ … it all felt free. Her gauntlets scrapped at the ground beneath her, feeling it actually give. It wasn't just rock on rock.

It was _dirt_!

Asgore told her about dirt, how it felt to walk across it. Undyne sucked in a deep breath of the air, savoring the scent. It smelled like freedom. She wanted to devour it.

She settled with falling onto the ground, flat on her back. It felt amazing. Even through her armor Undyne could tell how incredible the ground actually was. It was warm, it was soft, and it was everything she could have ever hoped.

She laughed as loud as she could, ready to start making angels in the grass. Would that work like it did in Snowdin?

 _She'd make it work_!

Undyne moved her hands up and down, laughing like the kids that crowded around her. Her armor tore through the grass and dug into the dirt, but it still felt amazing. It was like warm snow, the best thing since a hot fridge! It wasn't like the molten rock of Hotland or the frozen ground in Snowdin. It was just so different, so much better outside.

And she was _outside_!

That meant she would get to see stars at night, she would feel the sun every hour during the day. There would be weather, that meant rain! She would get to feel water without having to get into water! She wanted to scream, to laugh, and to do so much more! She could do anything now!

Could this get any better?

Something tapped on her shoulder. Undyne followed it to see one of the humans. She was looking at her like the kids from Snowdin, wide eyed and waiting for something.

What did she want though? Undyne was outside! She didn't need the human anymore! She… wait…

Undyne sat up, ignoring the startled sound the pink haired human made. How did she get past the barrier? Where were the other monsters? Was she the only one out? Undyne looked around, doing her best to ignore the grass, the sky, the trees, and everything else that proved she was outside.

She was looking for Asgore, for Alphys, for Papyrus, Sans, her guards, anyone. They had to be here.

She saw animals, but not monsters. Plenty of humans, more than she thought she'd ever see, but still no monsters. None of her friends and no proof that they were ever there. Where was here? What was going on? She was outside, but how? Maybe the girl knew.

The pink haired chick was wearing some kind of cape, kinda like Asgore's but a lot shorter. There was a skirt too, just below some white blouse. Other that, she had pink haired that trailed down past her waist. That looked annoyingly long and painful. But the girl was still looking at her, looking at her with wide eyes.

It took Undyne a moment to realize the girl was probably scared of her. That was normal. Undyne knew she was scary, but most monsters caught on quick she wasn't all-bad.

"Hey, girly," Undyne spoke to the girl. She was girly, given how small she was and how long her hair was. It was long enough to rival Asgore's ears. Then again, the girl was like half her own height, let alone Asgore's. "Do you know where I am? Do you got any idea how I got here?"

The human didn't say anything. Heh, no small wonder. A lot of monsters had a hard time speaking to Undyne, made sense that humans were the same way. She didn't need to worry though, not right now at least. All the pink-haired girl did was keep looking at Undyne. It was kinda starting to freak her out.

"What, I got something on my face?" Undyne asked incredulously. The girl just made some sort of noise, blinking up at her. Was that supposed to be here talking? Oh, wait, did she not understand her?

Ah geez, that was a problem. Undyne made a grumbling sound as she scratched the back of her neck.

"Well that's great. Finally found my way outside and the humans can't even understand what I'm sayin'. Top it off without a friend in sight." Undyne made a move to stand, but was stopped by the stupidest thing. And it really was stupid, cause there was no way it was strong enough to actually stop her.

The girl's hands, specifically, on either side of her face. Undyne felt her usual grin pull across her scales, the kind she usually gave Sans after his bad puns, the one that said 'shut up' without any words. The girl at least shook at little at the sight.

Easy to tell given how she was holding Undyne's head.

"Hey, _punk_ ," she growled out. "You wanna tell me what you think you're doin'?"

The girl didn't move. Instead she just some weird sound. Maybe she was talking, maybe she was whispering, Undyne could tell, or really care. There was being bold then there was being stupid. This girl was clearly in the latter category.

"Seriously, I got places to go, so if you wanna do something you better-"

The leaned forward and placed a kiss on Undyne's forehead.

Undyne was _not_ impressed.

"Brat," Undyne growled no, grin wide with the ideas of what she was gonna do to this human. "I don't care if you can understand me or not, you got ten seconds to start-"

A lurching pain stopped Undyne.

It was sudden, quick, like getting hit by a boulder during her training. Problem was it wasn't all over, not even near her head. It was just on her hand, her left hand.

She ripped off the gauntlet, letting the metal hit the ground with the same thud as her helmet. She ignored the quick sound the girl made. She was probably just scared, the wimp. Undyne was the one who felt pain. Few positives though. Undyne knew she had felt a whole lot worse pain than this before. That was good. Plus it was only over hand. Better than having an actual boulder plow into her. Those hurt all over.

Still didn't explain the markings that started to etch their way over her hand. Etched was the right word for it. Felt like her spear was being used to mark up the back of her scales, making a bunch of jagged symbols across her.

They were glowing like the coils in her fridge, felt hot as fire, too. It wasn't a good feeling.

Undyne clenched her jaw as she watched the symbols continue to shift and form over her skin. Her fist was shaking from the effort. What the heck kind of magic was this? What was it even doing? Tattooing her? It better be one kickass tattoo to be worth this. Pain was only worth it if you got something out of it. Thankfully, the magic seemed to take her silent hint.

The sensation of her scales ripping died down, disappearing until it was just a light throb. Kinda felt like she was bruised, by that would definitely go away. She let out a relieved grunt, flexing her fingers. The mark on her hand was still there.

It didn't look like anything Undyne recognized. A bunch of marks that really did look like something she'd leave behind after trying out her spears on a cavern wall. Straight lines meeting other lines. Didn't look like any image she'd want or word she'd recognize. Still, as far as markings went, it could have been way worse.

"Sweet," Undyne let out, looking over the markings whilst twisting her hand. The back of her hand was the only thing different. "Ain't good for a tattoo, but it looks like one kickass scar."

"Those are not scars, they're runes."

Undyne whipped her head back to the girl. The pink haired floozy was looking back at her, eyes as wide as before. She stared at the human, making sure that her ears weren't playing tricks on her. Given that she had randomly popped up outside the barrier, it wouldn't be too crazy for her ears to start acting up.

Alphys would probably have a better word for it then 'going crazy'.

"Did you understand me?" Undyne asked testing, hitting her other hand against her armored chest. The clang made the pink hair girl jump. She really was just a kid. "Seriously though, do you know what I'm saying?"

"Yes," the girl spoke up. Undyne understood her to. "Yes, yes I do. And I am glad that you can understand me as well. A familiar that can hold a conversation…" What did that mean? And why the heck was the floozy grinning like that?

Undyne knew her grins were scary cool, but this girl's was just creepy. Plus, was the girl trying to talk to her this whole time? Coulda fooled Undyne. Unless they talked in yells, that'd be cool.

Wait, no, had to focus. This human could talk, that means she had answers!

"Kay, girl," Undyne spoke to the pink haired human. She blinked at the word, good. "Where the hell am I? How did I get past the barrier?" The girl only tilted her head.

"Barrier? What nonsense are you talking about?" That wasn't the answer Undyne wanted to hear. "And as for your location, you're now in the famous Tristian Magical Academy! Show your proper respect." Her hand waved around her as she spoke.

Undyne followed the motion, seeing all the monsters and humans staring at them. All the humans were dressed the same, and all looked pretty damn young, too. Maybe this was a school, like that one anime Alphys showed her, where the school was a detective academy.

That'd be cool. But that didn't explain the buildings.

She stood up from the ground, pushing off the grass to do so. The grass that had been pulled and the earth dug into during her 'angel' motion. The girl looked up at her, still looking surprised. Was that the only expression she could make or something? Didn't matter.

Undyne looked at the buildings. Really, all the magazines that had survived the dump talked about how humans lived in these giant glass towers and homes like the ones made in Snowdin. They were supposed to be high-tech and awesome.

The stone tower and buildings around Undyne did not show that. They were just a bunch of stones piled on top of one another. It wasn't smooth, wasn't painted, and sure as hell didn't have a single pane of glass as far as she could tell, let alone enough to make up the entire wall.

It honestly was looking more like some kind of castle that Asgore would tell her about. Where was he anyway? No way he would miss out on going above ground.

"Um, excuse me," a new voice spoke up.

Undyne looked towards a new human. This one looked older than the kids that littered the ground, but he was still a shorty! Seriously, Undyne was taller than like every human here. That was cool.

"My name is Professor Jean Colbert, an instructor to the students here. I understand that you may be… confused right now, but may I please have your name?" Well, he was polite. Maybe Papyrus was onto something with his whole 'befriend' the human shtick.

Eh, worries for later.

"You can call me Undyne," she spoke back, giving him a large grin. The human took a step back. Wuss. She'd say she made him bald, but it looked like he was already doing that on his own.

That was her name, but that wasn't enough. The mangas that Alphys salvaged always said that humans liked to give their titles when they met. This guy even called himself an instructor.

Crap, Undyne forgot to prepare a speech.

This wasn't like she was confronting some human in Waterfall. She was outside! That meant she had to improvise. Asgore should be doing this, not her. But she could do this.

"But if you want to get personal, I'm the Captain of Asgore's Royal Guard, King of the Underground." That made him blink.

Undyne was beginning to think that was all these humans could do, blink and look shocked. Better than laughter though, maybe. If they laughed that would have just pissed her off.

"King?" the girl spoke again. Undyne looked down at her. Seriously, she came chest high at best. "Underground? What in the name of the Founder are you talking about? As my familiar it is your duty to explain these things to me." What did she just say?

"Familiar? The hell you talkin' about?" Undyne asked back. She didn't hide the sneer that crept up her scales. Did feel good to see the human shirk back at the face. "Seriously though, where the hell am I?"

"I just told you! You are in the Tristian Magical Academy! How do you not know where that is?" Was this girl trying to get her mad? Well it was working. "As those markings on your hand are now proof, you are my familiar and you now belong to me, so you must do as I say."

That was one step _way_ too far!

Undyne reached back her hand, getting ready to summon a spear and really show this human what it meant to-

"My word," the old human's words stopped her. That and the grip on her exposed arm. She looked at the bald human, holding her arm and staring at her hand. The hell was he doing?

"These glyphs and runes, the intricacy, they appear to match the texts almost perfectly." Too much was happening for Undyne.

 _One_ , she had been sucked up in Waterfall and somehow thrown to outside the Barrier.

 _Two_ , she was sporting a brand new tattoo given to her from a kiss, apparently.

 _Three_ , the girl who kissed her was calling her a familiar and talking like this place wasn't some relic of the past.

 _Four_ , the only human that looked old enough to take care of themselves was grabbing her arm like it belonged to him.

_Five, she was pissed!_

"That's it!" Undyne shouted, wrenching her hand out of the old man's hands. She kinda wished he'd fallen on his face.

His staff caught him, damn.

"I don't know how I got here, I don't know who the hell any of you are, but I _need_ to find out where the rest of my friends are! Got it? If I got out of the Underground, then they could have, too!"

The area became dead quiet. Undyne was used to that. She tended to make people either scream or shut up. Right now she was pissed off as all hell, so it was definitely going to be the latter. Her grin probably helped with that.

Papyrus did say that her teeth were large enough to admire his reflection on. Probably didn't help when they all had that damned shocked look on their mugs. Seriously!?

The rest of the human kids didn't look much better. Those brats were just huddled up in small groups or hanging around their animals. Seriously? Really?

"Okay, everyone," Colbert spoke up again. Undyne wanted to throttle him. "That concludes the summoning ceremony. The remaining time may be spent familiarizing yourself with your new familiars." Was this dude ignoring her again?! She was going to- "Ms. Vallière, Undyne, may we please speak in private. I feel there is… much to talk about." Undyne let out a breath of air through her nose.

She picked up her gauntlet and helm as the rest of the human kids and monsters began to move around, probably going who knows where. Actually, she wanted to know. Undyne really couldn't afford to forget that she was outside!

It was because she was _outside_ that she had to find everyone else, especially Asgore. He'd know how to handle this better than she could.

At least know she'd finally get some answers.

* * *

Louse was going to get her answers, no matter what.

Her familiar, the idiot that she was! Everything had been so perfect, just like it was supposed to be, then her familiar decided to shed her skin and gain a voice. A voice meant a mind, it meant reasoning, it meant she had summoned not something, but someone!

Of all the things that could have happened, why did it have to happen to her? Easily one of the most intimidating and clearly powerful familiars and she wouldn't even listen to her!

Even when she had shed her 'armor', she was still an imposing creature! Scales had gone from black to blue and teeth from black to yellow, but her grin was only maddening large and sounded ready to bite off someone's head.

That wasn't even to mention the fins that jutted from her head or the ease it had for lifting those hunks of metal. If only she came with an ounce of discipline or knowing what it meant to be a familiar!

It didn't help that the whole trip up to the headmaster's office was full of her familiar making noises and questions about the place, everyone sounding more like a challenge then some kind of inquiry. Why should Louise know who all the servants were? Why would Louise care how many commoners lived here? Why were the academy's stone walls weird?

But more than anything else, why was her familiar grinning like a shark from the ocean!?

"Ms. Vallière," headmaster Osmond spoke her name. She stood to attention as her mother had instructed, head high, chest out, and back straight. "Let me begin by congratulating you on a successful summons. I must say you have truly surprised me. It has been some many years that I have had the pleasure."

Louise poorly hid the smile that came to her lips.

"Thank you, headmaster," she spoke clearly in return. It would be beyond rude to say anything else, especially nothing at all.

"You're welcome. Now, as for your familiar _herself_ , I would like to hear more from her." Louise felt her stomach drop. She turned from the wise and long-bearded headmaster of Tristian Academy to her armored, rude, and utterly imposing familiar.

"Undyne, you are the first familiar I have ever seen to be able to speak, let alone one that claims to have served a king. Can you elaborate on this?"

Her familiar wasn't saying anything. That was… good? It would have been if she had not spoken anything in the first place. But both Louise and Professor Colbert had heard the fish thing speak, so it wasn't as if Louise could pass it off as some side effect of Willpower depletion. Undyne had spoken, she had _named_ itself, so why wasn't she talking!?

"Ms. Undyne?" Professor Colbert began to ask. "Are you… alright?" Louise was beginning to wonder the same herself. It didn't seem like her familiar could move enough earlier. What changed?

"Huh?" Her familiar spoke. Louise wasn't sure she should feel relief or annoyance that she did. "Oh yeah, sorry, wasn't listening." Annoyance it was. Louise bit her lip to keep herself from screaming, _hard_. "Just… that's a great view you got."

She lifted its armored claw past Osmond, to the glass windows behind him.

"Hm?" The wizened headmaster returned. He turned to follow her point, something that Professor Colbert and Louise did as well. It looked nice, sure, but it certainly was not ignoring the headmaster over. "Oh, yes, I do quite enjoy the view myself. But it is important to always return to the work at hand. Old Chuchu does help to keep me honest from distractions."

Louise saw the famed familiar of the headmaster peak out past over his shoulder, making a small noise as it did so. Louise offered it a kind smile, as was expected of her towards her headmaster's familiar. A quick glance at Undyne told her that her familiar was not doing the same.

No, she was still looking out that damn window!

"You don't get it," Undyne kept talking. If that was all it would have been bad enough. But now, then she started walking towards the headmaster's desk, armored boots stomping the ground as she did so.

Louise felt a trickle of fear run up her back as her familiar moved, watching Professor Colbert ready his staff. Undyne must have been either stupid or ignorant, because she didn't take that as the clear sign to stop that it was.

Did she want to get burned _alive_?!

Her fears, thankfully, appeared to be unneeded. Undyne walked past both wizards and stopped at the window of the tower, her face pushing up against the glass. When she started raising her armored claws, Louise was honesty afraid the glass was going to break.

"You can see so far away," Undyne went on. "You got so much you can see. It's like it never ends. The sky, the trees… ah geez." Louise wanted to feel anger for her familiar, the well-deserved fury that came when subordinates refused to listen to their betters.

But at the moment, she felt something else. Confusion.

Confusion for the light trail of tears she saw running down Undyne's blue cheeks.

"Ms. Undyne, are you sure you're well? You're crying!" Professor Colbert spoke in a flustered tone. Louise just watched. There wasn't much she could do right now, nothing that the headmaster and professor couldn't do without her.

"Wha? Nah, I ain't _crying_ ," Undyne poorly lied. Louise lifted her nose at the words. Lying to a noble, how abhorrent. She rubbed its black armor over its face, pushing at the scales. "Just got somethin' in my eyes is all."

"Oh, and what is that?" Louise asked in turn. The best way to reveal a liar was to put them on the spot. Cowards and liars all relented when they had attention focused on them.

Unfortunately, Louise got exactly what she wanted.

" _Tears, dammit_!"

Undyne let out some kind of sound with her yell. It could have been a laugh, but Louise thought it could have just of easily been a bark. Odd, considering how amphibian her familiar appeared to be.

"Interesting," the headmaster continued. "Please, can you tell us why the sight is so… breath-taking?" Louise nodded her head at the question. That was a proper way to phrase, though her familiar likely needed a firmer hand than that.

"You don't know?" Undyne asked in return. How rude! She was being questioned, not the other way around! "Monsters have been in the Underground for centuries. We've been kept there fer 'slong as I can remember. This is the first time I've seen the sky. And… ah geez, it's so awesome!" Undyne flexed her arm in what Louise assumed was a pose of victory.

The force of the motion pulled and shattered the headmaster's window.

Louise let out a shriek of surprise as the sound of breaking glass filled the room, shard of the clear material falling to the floor and out the now gaping hole in the tower. She was frozen as ice, hunched over like some uneducated commoner, staring at her familiar with an expression she couldn't describe well enough herself.

"Oh, oops," Undyne lamely let out. "You're glass is really fragile here, ya know that?"

Louise now knew the expression was _rage_.

"Familiar! What are you thinking!?" She shrieked. The anthropomorphic fish finally showed a bit of fear in the face of Louise, complete with wide golden eyes. It was not nearly enough of an improvement to placate Louise's anger.

"Hey! I said I was sorry!" Unydne let out quickly.

"No you did not!" Louise countered. Her familiar blinked before pulling up her hands. "You just insulted a noble's place of work by shattering a window! Apologize this instant!" She threw her hand down, pink hair bobbing with the force of the action. Why weren't the professor and headmaster upset with her?!

"Alright, alright! Geez," the fish familiar let out, turning to face the two nobles. Good, she was doing what was expected of her. "Sorry fer breaking the glass like that. Got kinda carried away and all."

Bad! Muttering in front of nobles, the headmaster and a professor no less, was completely unacceptable!

"It's quite alright," the headmaster dismissed. Louise stared at him. Why did he not punish her? "I'm sure we can have repaired easily enough. I'm more curious about this whole monsters underground business you spoke of. Are you referring to yourself as a monster?"

"Well _duh_ ," Undyne made a face that showed disgust. It was a sneer, with her blue nose raised and eyes looking down at the Osmond. Louise made her own face of bewilderment. She wasn't sure what the reason was right now. Too much was happening. "Do I look like some kinda human to you? Think you'd lose me in the crowd?"

She pointed to herself with the question.

"No… not at all," Osmond returned slowly. "But… I feel there is quite a tale you have to tell, isn't there?" Deflection. Louise saw it in an instant. It was the same kind of statement the professors had given to her a hundred times before.

"I concur, but before we go much further, Undyne," Professor Colbert spoke, earning her familiar's attention. "I was hoping I may be able to see the runes on your hand." Louise cocked her own head at the question. What did the familiar runes matter? Oh, they must be making sure the contract was in place.

A smart idea given her familiar's abhorrent nature up till now.

"You mean these marks?" Unydne asked. She was already detaching the bulk of metal that sat on her arm, holding the white metal in its claw before dropping it on the headmaster's table.

It splintered the wood with a resounding _crack._

Louise let a quite noise of fright, seeing the headmaster and professor jump back as well. Only Undyne didn't seem that affected. Why wasn't she taking her damage to a noble's office seriously!?

"My bad, sorry 'bout that," she let out lamely, as pathetically as a commoner attempting magic. Louise felt her teeth grind. "Used to most of my stuff being made of metal or stone. I'm sure it'll buff out, right?" Was her familiar an idiot!?

"That will most certainly not 'buff out'!" Louise finally screeched at the blue scaled monster. The monster she apparently called herself. "You've done an egregious amount of damage to a noble's place of work! This will likely inconvenience the headmaster for days! Are you trying to break everything in this room?!"

Undyne didn't answer her. Instead, while looking at Louise, the lips of her mouth pulled back, revealing even more of her fanged yellow teeth. She was intimidating, of that there was no doubt. But, oh, Louise was going to punish her familiar something great for that kind of face at her.

"You call this damage?" She asked. Was that a serious question? "I've broken things worse in my sleep! Bit my pillow in half and tore off my bed's headboard! This is _nothin'_!"

To prove her point, in all of her delusional grandeur, Louise watched as Undyne slammed down her other claw down on the table, right next to her unused gauntlet.

With a crack that echoed, the table fell to the one side, all of the items atop of it jumping and rolling off.

Louise stared at the damage, already knowing what was going to happen. That was no good. Her familiar should be the one scrambling for an apology, trying to placate them for all the damage she'd done. But instead, all she was doing was staring down at the shambles that was one Headmaster Osmond's desk with a look of regret. That was it!

"Before anything else of mine is broken," Osmond began to speak. Louise turned a hopefully eye to him. "Perhaps you can honor Professor Colbert's request. I'm hoping it'll make the damage to my desk worth it."

"Sounds good to me," was all the response Undyne gave as she pushed her hand towards the professor. Louise wanted to scream. She wanted to blast her familiar with the largest fireball she could muster and watch her fall to the ground! Louise wanted her familiar to do what she asked.

But she couldn't do that without losing face in front of her headmaster and professor… Stupid familiar!

"Interesting," Professor Colbert spoke up lightly. Louise almost missed it with her silent seething. But she couldn't say a word, not now. She would not lose face in front of the headmaster and her teacher. "These runes, their detail… their intricacy is something I have seen only reference to. It's possible, but I'd need more texts, time to study…"

"They really that important?" Undyne asked. She didn't look happy about having her hand held by the professor. Good. She could do with some discomfort. "Do you got all you need from them. Like, can I have my hand back?"

"Hm? Oh! Yes, of course!" the professor let go of her webbed hand. Louise was becoming increasingly annoyed that it wasn't a claw. With every piece of her black scale armored she removed, the less intimidating she looked. "My apologies, it is simply rare to… have a familiar such as yourself appear."

"You keep throwin' that word around like I'm supposed to have a clue what it means." Undyne pulled her hand back lifting it up to place her gauntlet back on. At least while she wore she appeared to have claws.

Small blessings, but they didn't nearly make up for her non-subservient behavior.

"Why don't you start spillin' on what this place is or how I got here or any number of… no."

Louise took a full second to realize her familiar had stopped herself. She had placed one of her gauntleted hands on her forehead, concealing her one good eyes and letting her razor sharp teeth sit in a frown. She didn't say anything, neither did the headmaster or her professor.

"Ah, dammit, I'm gettin' off track," Undyne spoke with a far calmer voice. Louise would have thanked the Founder if her familiar weren't also scratching the back of her head with an impossibly large sneer across her face. It showed off her shark like teeth to a hideous level. "Came up here ta ask some questions an' I got sidetracked with the view."

"What are you talking about, familiar?" Louise questioned seriously. If her familiar was acting calmer, than she must follow suit. It would have been completely unbecoming to be presented in a poorer light than her own servant. "It is improper to ignore-" She was cut off by the waving of a white metal gauntlet

"Yeah, yeah, we'll talk in a bit, I got a few important questions first." She… she what? Did her familiar honestly believe her wishes were above those of her own master?

"The only reason I came up here at all was to get some info." Louise no longer cared if they were in the headmaster's office, she was going to blow her familiar out the window and summon a new one!

"May I assume it has to do with this... Underground you spoke of?" Professor Colbert asked. He was staring at Undyne with wide eyes. Louise was doing the exact opposite.

" _Yeah_! That's part of it," Undyne's grin grew with the words. Louise would not allow herself to be intimidated by her familiar's razor sharp teeth. "See, if I got out of there, I'm bettin' that I'm not the only one. So I gotta find the rest the monsters."

What? Was she talking about leaving?

"Unacceptable," Louise spoke with strength. She ignored the glare Undyne gave her. She was her familiar the 'monster' would do as she said. "You were summoned here by my magic and as such you are my familiar. I do not permit you to go off searching for some wild goose."

Louise still kept herself from being intimidated by her familiar. Even as her grin turned into a feral frown.

"Punk," she spoke down to Louise. "You seriously thinkin' 'bout keepin' me from finding my friends?" Louise felt chills running up her back. With the headmaster's window broken up, it sounded like the wind was howling.

But Louise stay determined.

"I do," she turned her nose up at her familiar. "As a familiar, summoned by my magic, you are bound to do as I say. Those runes are proof of the contract."

She pointed at the gauntlet that now concealed said hand. It was foolish to think hiding the runes erased their existence.

"You are extremely lucky that a noble as forgiving as myself summoned you, or else you would be punished severely for the amount of damage you have caused! At the very least, you are not to go looking for these 'monsters' you are speaking of or-" Anything else Louise had to say died on her lips.

The metal gauntlet around her throat kept anything from being said.

A quick choking sound was all the noise Louise could make before she found herself being lifted from the ground. Her hands reached desperately for the white gauntlet holding her, grabbing at it with her small hands. It felt like she was pushing against a wall, grabbing at the ledge to a cliff.

There was no give. There was no slack.

And as her wide eyes stared at Undyne's own open gaze, Louise saw no mercy.

"Hey," Undyne spoke in a low voice. Louise would have gulped if her throat wasn't being squeezed. "I'm tryin' my best ta stay on good terms with you punks. Asgore would be pretty angry at me if I went and ruined everything he worked for. But if you keep talkin' like that, actin' like I'm something you _own…_ you'll get to see why I'm the Captain of the Guard."

Louise felt her determination waver in the face of her familiar's sharp eye and sharper teeth. Her teeth looked ready to tear into her, eyes read to bore into her. Louise felt her legs thrash, unable to reach the ground. She couldn't move the hand on her throat, could recite a spell, couldn't do anything.

It… it was scary, terrifying even.

Her familiar was truly a monster.

* * *

Undyne hoped she wasn't being _too_ scary to the brat. Just enough.

Monsters needed seven human souls to pass the barrier, seven souls to free themselves from the Underground. She didn't know how, less of a clue when, but Undyne had gotten out.

If she was out, the others were to. But Asgore had said, over and over, that seven souls would be all the souls the monsters would claim. Anymore and it would just be war again.

But dammit if this brat and her attitude weren't making the idea of making it eight souls a good one. Not like it would have been hard, given how thick headed they seemed to be. Seriously, they were giving

Papyrus a run for his money, and that goofball didn't even know the difference between a threat and a greeting!

"Undyne, release Ms. Vallière this instant," the old guy spoke, the one who looked he should keel over any minute. She turned a sharp eyes to him. Didn't let go of the pink-haired brat in her hands. She could feel her struggling in her grip, but it was like holding a tadpole. "If you are honest with your earlier words, then you will release my student. I do not believe anyone wants any harm to come to her."

Undyne would give that geezer credit. He sounded a little threatening now. Didn't hold a candle to Asgore though. Heck, he was probably weaker than Gerson. Still, she had to remember that she was interacting with humans.

 _Humans_.

If Asgore was right, they were weak, easily frightened, and likely going to think the worst of them. They had to prove them wrong.

"Fine," Undyne spoke as she dropped the girl from her hand. She fell to the ground, collapsing like a wet rag. Pathetic, the brat was all bark and no bite. "But you better not be expectin' me to take all that talk with a bright grin."

Neither of the humans spoke up, not at first. The bald one, Colbert if she caught his name right, rushed over to the pink haired girl. He was checking her over, the brat bobbing her head at whatever he was saying. Looked at her neck to.

No reason to, Undyne knew she didn't break anything.

"Do you want to leave, Ms. Vallière?" He finally asked a bit louder. "It's perfectly understandable if you do."

" _No_ … I will stay," the brat responded. Undyne had to hand it to her, she looked a little tough with those words, giving a good glare with it.

Undyne smirked at the human.

"It will take more than… threats for me to fear you, familiar." Oh, was she still on that?

"Ms. Vallière is acting as though she summoned a usual familiar." Undyne gave Colbert a sharp look. He looked like he did out in the yard, talking to the other humans.

"Or, to explain, familiars are beings summoned by our second-year students, brought forth to aid the students in their pursuit for knowledge." It was better than the Alphys-like attitude he had before. Made it easier to focus on the fact he was human.

He had his hand on the girl's back the whole time, helping her stand up. She brushed him off when she was up right again.

"Summoned, huh?" Undyne began. That was a pretty weird word to use. Whatever. "Cool, awesome, but you can tell me all about that later. I want to know where the monsters are!"

She thought about slamming her hands on the old man's desk for effect, but that was kinda hard.

Namely because she had already pushed it too close to the floor.

Not her fault, at least not really, the thing was weak wet dirt. She'd bet the gold bits in her pocket she could probably lift the roof off the place, especially if everything was as fragile as the desk. Wait, no, that wasn't what was important!

"I believe we are at a disadvantage," the bald man began to say. The heck did that mean? "To explain, we use the term monsters to describe… horrible acts or creatures. They are not associated with reasoning, let alone the ability to speak such as yourself."

Undyne didn't react. Oh, she wanted to rip the staff out of his hands and bite it in two, but she didn't. Gerson warned her that humans were a bunch of imaginative tools, pretty much always in the wrong way.

"Well I ain't that," Undyne countered. "I'm looking for walking, talking, and probably carrying a heck of a lot of luggage monsters. I've been researching humans since I was little, so I know there's no way you guys couldn't know about that by now."

The two humans shared a look. Good, that meant she caught. Those narrowed eyes probably meant they were thinking of what to say next, yeah, and that head shake, they had to change their plans! Oh yeah, she caught them.

"How could we possibly know something so quickly?" the older human spoke. Undyne hadn't heard his name yet. She'd need it, or else he'd be Human!Gerson for life. "It would take hours for us to learn of something from the Tristian Capitol, likely days or even weeks beyond that."

Undyne wasn't sure how to express her disbelief properly.

"Are you _kidding_ me!?" She yelled. That had to be the proper response. The old man even made a quick jump at the action. Damned mouse on his shoulder scurried off, too. "We can pass messages across the underground in like… nanoseconds! They're called phones! I know you humans got them!"

"Phones?" Colbert spoke up now. He was pointing his staff at her. The heck was that supposed to even mean? "I… We have no idea what a phone is! Messages are transported via trained couriers or carrier pigeons. Hawks or ravens are used by the noble families as well." That was one of the worst lies Undyne had ever heard, and she'd heard Sans say he was strong enough to be king!

"That's _bull_!" she shouted back. Why stop what worked? Showing off her teeth had to be helping. No better way to get information then being scary, and Undyne _knew_ she was scary. "If you got 'nother name for it, fine. But let me show you what a phone is!"

She reached into the loose patch of metal in her suit, grabbing at the items inside. Her gauntlet pushed away one of Papyrus's golden bones, a t-shirt Alphys made for her, some tea packets from Asgore. It wasn't there. Undyne let out a grumble as she undid her other latch. It was right there, next to her house keys.

What she pulled out though wasn't a phone. Not anymore at least.

Holding up her cellphone, or the shambled mess of wires and metal that was left it, Undyne looked across the room. The old man was staring at her, Colbert was doing the same, but the pinkette brat was looking up with a sneer that Undyne wanted to make.

But more than that, it made Undyne want to do two things. One, scream. Two, throw the broken thing across the room. Being the highest ranking of the Royal Guard, she did the most logical choice. Both.

" _Gah!_ " Undyne yelled, chucking her phone across the room, it slammed into the stone wall with a satisfying crunch. Pieces of stone fell with the useless scrap metal. "Now I can't even _CALL Alphys_!"

"Familiar!" The brat called again. Undyne groaned at the human. This brat was in desperate need of a beating. "I cannot tell if you are being genuine or insulting or… just attempting to make excuses for your behavior, but I won't allow it!"

She stomped her foot like it mattered. Undyne was damn close to doing the same. If the floor was built like everything else, she'd probably bring the tower down. "There are no monsters like you, we haven't heard anything from Germania to Wales, and you are doing a horrendous job at showing your civility!"

"On two of the accounts, Louise is correct," the old man spoke before Undyne could finish sucking in her breath. She clenched her teeth to keep in the yell. The brat would be getting the lesson later. At least the old human was acting like Asgore said a leader would. Undyne couldn't risk disappointing her king. "We truly have not heard anything, let alone by these… phones you are talking about."

"Then I'm gonna have to go look fer myself," Undyne grunted out. She was honestly looking forward to it. The Underground got pretty boring when you memorized every glowing rock on the ceiling, but outside? She could spend the rest of her life learning the land! That was an idea.

"Can't sit around waiting for new to get here."

" _ACT-ually_ ," Colbert spoke up, well, yelled at first. Undyne gave him a sneer only to see his hand in front of the pink brat. Probably yelled to stop her. "That may be the smart decision. I highly doubt the appearance of other… monsters such as yourself will go unspoken across any kingdom. Searching for them could take some time, and if we do hear about them when you are gone, we would have no way to let you know where your friends are."

Damn, he had a point. Undyne growled as she crossed her arms, the metal of her gauntlets scratching against one another. Her good eye looked at the ground. She hated it when other people talked like that.

She couldn't say anything to show them they were wrong!

"But in the meantime, I can look into possible locations for this… Underground," the bald professor kept talking. "I'm confident I can find some reference or possible landmark to follow."

Undyne lifted her gaze to him, giving him a happy grin. He gave his own, but it was really weak. Dang though if that wasn't a good idea!

Undyne had completely forgotten about the internet! If this dude was serious, he'd probably find the Mt. Ebott damn quick. That'd make it easy to find!

"Now _that's_ an idea I like!" She pointed at him, boisterous as she could be. He should be loud to, he did a good thing! "You're gonna wanna look for a place called Mt. Ebott though. Underground was built beneath it. I mean, you've heard of that place, right?"

She didn't like the unsure look he had. Alphys had that whenever Undyne asked for more mecha-animes.

"I am… unfamiliar with any landmass or mark called Mt. Ebott," Colbert answered. Undyne sneered at the comment. Wasn't his fault, hopefully. "But I'm sure that if it's a mountain, I'll have little trouble finding it. I can report to you as soon as possible."

"Professor!" the girl called up now. Figures she'd try and ruin a good mood. "Are you suggesting my familiar run off and try to… and just abandon me?" The heck was this girl talking about? How the heck was it abandonment?

"If and when we find this Mt. Ebott and its… monsters," the old man spoke up. Undyne looked at him. "I'll be sending you with Undyne to look into them. If nothing else, you are undoubtedly the reason Undyne has appeared here in the Academy. That makes you the prime member of society to bridge relations with Undyne's people."

The girl put on the proud smirk she seemed to love to wear. Too bad Undyne had more fun ripping it off.

"Fat chance of that," Undyne spoke up. The girl gave her a funny look. Funny because it looked like she was getting ready to yell but was slapped. On some human like her, it looked good.

"So far all this brat's done is yell and call me her familiar or whatever. What makes ya think this punk is gonna be a bridge between monsters and humans?"

"Because if you two can get along, it will prove that all humans and monsters can."

Undyne let out a slow, long, groan at the bald professor's words. He really was like Alphys, throwing around all that logic and stuff. Just when Undyne thought she was in the right, he had to go and say something to throw her off.

Alphys did that _all the time_ , but at least she had food to give her!

"Fine, whatever, we wait," Undyne waved her arms, clicking her tongue behind her teeth. "But you better be fast with whatever yer looking into. I'm not gonna be the last one to meet with Asgore when he meets with whoever's in charge."

"Asgore, can I assume that's your king?" Undyne gave Colbert a look. It was her look, a look that got Sans to shut up, sometimes, and Papyrus to listen to her, always. "I-I mean no offense, it's just odd to hear you call your king his name without a title."

"Why's that odd?" She parroted the question. "He helped train me since I was little. Be pretty weird if I called him King when we're havin' tea. Sides, I'd bet a tooth the big guy would want everyone to call him Asgore."

Yeah, he'd definitely do that. Undyne could see that now.

"But when you meet him, you better call him king first. I _am_ his captain."

"I feel that is one of many facts about yourself I will not soon forget," the old man responded. He sounded a heck of a lot like Sans.

Cool, confident, way more than he deserved to be. All that logic, too.

"For now, I hope we have reached at least a tentative compromise. Colbert will search for this mountain of yours and, as soon as it is found, we will seek permission to send you and Ms. Vallière to it. Is that acceptable?"

She wanted to leave _now_ , but Undyne knew the old human would just use more of his logic.

"Sure, sure, that'll work," she waved off, not really happy with the situation. Still… it was kinda hard to stay mad right now.

Aftercall, she was _outside._

She felt herself smile again as she looked out the broken window behind the man. It was really hard to stay mad when she had a view like that, when she could feel with wind.

Asgore was right. So was Gerson. There really was nothing like a good view of the surface.

"That is… acceptable," the pinkette spoke. Undyne felt her good mood tarnished. Figures. "But until that time you _are_ my familiar and you _will_ do as I ask, understand?" Uh, no, that was a no.

"Or, I'll listen ta what you say, ignore it, and do what I want!" Undyne shouted back, leaning down to the punk. Undyne knew she was scary, but this human… she just stared right back up at her! Did she really toughen up that fast? Human were interesting. "Stop calling me your thing and maybe I'll get past that attitude of yours."

" _My_ attitude!?" The punk shouted again. Was all she did shout? "You are the one who has broken more in the past hour then I ever have! That's not to mention you speaking lowly of nobles who are clearly your betters." Her betters? Ha!

" _HA_!" Undyne barked the laughter she felt. "Betters? There ain't no way anyone here is _my_ better. I bet you couldn't even lift a rock!"

"What does that have to do with proper behavior!?" The girl shouted back. She was on her toes, nose shoved right into Undyne's face.

She sneered back at the bratty human.

"That only proves your nothing but a _BRUTE_ with _sharp teeth_!"

"I got teeth for _eating_ and charm for _days_!" Undyne lifted her armored arms above her head with her yell.

She felt like grizzly getting ready to tackle the punk!

"You don't got a single idea of how many kids look up ta me in the Underground! That kind of respect doesn't come from bein' _some over stressed BRAT_!"

"A brat am I!?" The pinkette was shouting back. If ever there was a brat, Undyne knew she was looking right at one. "Well you're the familiar of a brat and you _are_ going to act as such!" She stomped her foot. It was pathetic, the room didn't even shake!

"You wanna bet, punk?!" Undyne yelled back, pushing her face forward until her scales dragged over the brat's face. She still didn't back down.

"On my life as a noble, _familiar_!" She growled with her voice, something that Undyne did back in turn. There was no way this brat was going to-

"I'm glad to see you two are already seeing eye-to-eye." Undyne whipped her face towards the old man. She felt the brat do the same, her pink hair hitting her armor.

The human just chuckled with raised palms, the kinda expression Sans did a lot. It really pissed Undyne off.

"For now, I believe our business is conclude. Professor Colbert will look into this mountain you hail from, as well as lookout for any talk of monsters roaming the land. I promise, Undyne, you will be among the first to know."

Honestly, it wasn't good enough. She should be out there looking right now. The idea of just sitting and waiting while Asgore was out making talk with other humans, Alphys was trying to work on new stuff, or Papyrus's cooking lessons… She let out a growl as she stood to her tallest, away from the brat next to her.

"In the meantime, Ms. Longueville will see you out," the human spoke while pointing with his hand. Undyne turned to where he was waving. There was another human standing there, probably came in through the door during the screaming. Made sense.

Honestly, as far as humans went, she wasn't too bad on the eyes. She had a good shade of green hair, tied up in a bun, a pair of thing glasses sat on the bridge of her nose, and she carried a small board in her hand. Probably notes or something. Alphys did that a lot.

"Now, if everything is settled, I will need to see to… repairs." Undyne felt a grimace pull at her lips at the reminder. Wasn't a big deal if she broke her stuff, but other people's things… that usually was a bad sign. It was kind of their fault, given how freaking fragile everything was. "Undyne, I hope you find the academy a welcoming to you."

"Eh, we'll see," Undyne shrugged at the words. She had to admit, a part of her did it just to get the pinkette to act up. She really was fun to tease. "Can you at least point me to where I can get some grub? Nothing gets makes hungry like a good adrenaline rush."

"That is understandable. Seeing the sky for the first time can do that." The bald professor agreed. Undyne gave him a toothy grin. He was alright for a human. At least he wasn't being some kind of royal brat like the pinkette. "I believe Ms. Vallière will be happy to show you the mess hall. It is nearly time for supper."

Supper? They had to be kidding. The only person Undyne had ever heard say that was Gerson, and he liked to act older than he was. It was better than talking in whatever gibberish they were before, but at least they could have talked like they weren't from the stone age.

"Am I to expect my _familiar_ to be eating with nobles, professor?" Undyne felt her grin towards the professor turn into a more comfortable snarl. If only she could breathe fire. "Surely you can imagine the uproar of her eating at the same table as the others."

"If they got a problem with me eating then they can sat it to my face," Undyne let out with a large grin. She knew she was scary, and it was starting to be a good thing around this human brat. "Or, what, you expectin' me to eat on the ground or something."

For a moment, the pinkette said nothing. Just stared at Unydne right into her one good eye, smooth face snarled into her own look of displeasure. Undyne was pretty damn sure she was scarier than this half-pint punk, but it was pretty relative until she found the other monsters. But to her surprise, when the girl finally started talking again, said something other than another insult.

"Familiar," the brat let out. "Let us eat _outside_." She let it out between her clenched teeth. "I _cannot_ trust you to not damage anymore of the Academy, and at least outside you could avoid damaging the academy further." This girl didn't know the can of worms she just opened up.

"Sure you aren't just tryin' ta keep me to yourself?" Undyne took great satisfaction in watching the pinkette's face light up like the Christmas trees in Snowdin. Still, eating outside… hard to say no to something that awesome. "But ya know what? Fine. If the rest of you _noble_ humans are as bratty as you, I can't promise I won't skewer them on sight, especially if they all start calling me this familiar crap." If she was lucky, maybe Asgore really did need another human soul. Then this brat could be good for something.

"Agreed," the girl's teeth looked ready to crack in her jaw. Good, maybe if they did it would shut her up for a while. "Then let's go. We've done enough damage to the headmaster's office." She spun on her heel and marched out of the room, passed the one good looking human. Undyne let out a breath of air through her nose.

Of all the humans she could have met, Undyne couldn't understand why she had to get stuck up with one like her.

* * *

Of all the familiars she could have summoned, Louise could not understand why she had gotten stuck with like Undyne.

She was rude, destructive, insubordinate, filthy, a hog, and one of the single most glutton like monstrosities she had ever _met_! Her only saving grace was her apparent love for the outdoors, something that Louise was fortunate to find she could already use her advantage.

At least this way she would not have to risk damage to her own quarters, at least until she had found a more suitable means to gaining her familiar's loyalty.

The only, the _only,_ reason she had not blown the worthless familiar back into the wild with her magic was the supposed 'monster race' she spoke of. Louise was no stranger to politics, she knew that harming a representative of a foreign power was on par with a declaration of war.

It was nearly impossible to believe what Undyne was speaking of, but if the headmaster and professor saw truth in her words, Louise was not at liberty to insult or correct them.

She could only wait until her familiar's fantasies were disproven. Then she could properly reign in her creature.

For the moment, she was doomed with a familiar that ate without fill, shook the earth with her every step, snarled at every command, and seemed content to mock Louise's very existence.

Still… despite her abhorrent nature, Louise could not and would not suppress the giddy realization that she had done as promised to herself hours ago. Undyne as her familiar, summoned through the Spring Time Summoning Ritual, bound to serve her.

She was easily more intimidating than any of the other creatures summoned, had high enough intelligence to speak, and declared her position of power under a king. A _king_!

Louise was a Vallière, and she would accept what had occurred only to improve upon it in the future. Such was the Rule of Steel, to harden the metal through work and discipline.

"This grub of yours ain't _too_ bad," her familiar spoke up next to her.

Louise gave her a disapproving look.

She would do that to any idiot that spoke with their mouths full of food and hand grabbing greedily at more. Especially those were digging through their fourth serving of lamb meat and gardener's salad. Honestly, her familiar ate like pigs in a sty, but at those creatures had a use for eating their fill. Undyne had eaten enough to send the servants into a frenzy.

"Could be a little warmer here n' there, but least it's better than the noodle packets Alphys usually cooks up." Louise gave a snort of the words, especially at the crumbs that fell from between her familiar's teeth. It was all gibberish to her and, until her familiar saw fit to explain them to her, they were meaningless.

They were currently sitting outside the kitchen, next to the doors meant for the commoners. Louise could feel her disdain rise for hiving to sit here instead of in the cafeteria with her fellow nobles. But in truth, it was a minor offense compared to all else.

What was more important was deciding how best to care for the supposed 'dignitary' of the monsters. She would likely throw a destructive fit if she saw the pile of hay Louise had assembled in her room for her, not to mention the collar she expected a more proper familiar to wear. Those would have to wait.

"I will have to see to getting a stand for your armor in my quarters," Louise spoke up. She said that while staring at the white gauntlet Undyne had dropped to the ground. It was still buried a good inch into the ground.

"No proper suit of armor should be damaged or wasted through improper care."

" _That's_ an idea I can get behind!" Undyne shouted following another great swallow food. Her smile was as menacing as ever, teeth longer than Louis's fingers. Small blessings to go with her boisterous nature, Louise supposed.

"Can't have my steel gettin' rusty on the ground. Stuff's heavy to, so I can't exactly wear it all the time. But what do ya mean your quarters? Do you mean your room?"

"Of course," Louise dismissed the obvious answer with a wave of her hand. "Familiars are expected to be in the presence of their masters at all times. You'll be expected to assist me in return." Louise looked to the sky as she finished speaking.

It was getting late. Perhaps another hour at most before the stars finally started to come out.

"I'm not up for sharin' a room with a brat like you," Undyne let out. Louise clenched her teeth. She could very nearly feel them crack. If one did, she would find risking war a worthy cost for blasting her familiar to the other side of the Academy. "Sides, who would want to bunk with a punk like you?"

"I could say the same for you and your abhorrent behavior!" Louise shot back. She pointed a finger at her familiar's only good eye. The fish monster just swallowed the last of her food. "I was expecting to have a noble wolf or chimera for a familiar, not some stuck up fish who destroys property for fun."

"Ain't my fault your stuff is brittle," her familiar defended, _poorly_.

"Least you could do is make your tables out of metal. Gotta be a better choice than wood. Least you can hammer some steel back into place. Only thing wood's really good for is burning."

Louse felt her hand grate against her seat. The urge to blow her familiar off her feet and into the wall was immense. Just one well casted fireball spell and she would handily be raising a competent familiar, not some slob with scales for skin!

But she couldn't, not without angering the headmaster and Professor Colbert. A part of her wished she had summoned just some random commoner. At least then no one would care if she tore him apart!

"Look, I'll say this straight, I don't like ya," Undyne final spoke. Louise scoffed at her familiar. At least she had no reason to worry about lies or deceit around her.

"And it's not hard to see you don't like me. I ain't taking that to heart. But if it's gonna take your human leaders a while ta find the rest of the monsters, then I guess I gotta stay here. So if that's the case, how about we just meet each other half way."

"I will not be compromising with _my_ familiar," Louise explained for the umpteenth time. Perhaps now was the good time to show this 'monster' just what it meant to be a monster. "You'll be well cared for so long as you obey the rules of the Academy. There isn't any more for you to understand."

"Punk, you're barks worse than the Dog Squads' in Snowdin," the familiar let out the unusual insult, teeth clenched together. Louise heard the marble table crack, probably her familiar's monstrous strength grabbing it or something.

But Louise didn't falter. Honestly, she was already finding the damage something to expect around her familiar. At least it was the servants' station and not anything belonging to the nobility. That would have been another story.

"You really don't get what I'm trying to say. I don't give a damn about what you think. All I care about is finding Asgore and making sure the rest of the monsters are okay." Louise was still having a difficult time imaging any race suddenly appearing from underground.

"But until I do, I'm _not_ gonna be the one to burn the bridge with you humans. My king wants peace and I'm damn well gonna make sure he finds it when he gets here."

"How noble of you," Louise sneered at her familiar. But… Louise would not be a hypocrite. "But it appears I'm in the same situation. The headmaster says that I will have to be the ambassador to whatever party meets your king. As a noble, I will not sully Tristian's reputation or risk war."

"Then hear me out, cause I'm doin' my best ta not start another war either." Louise was glad to hear her familiar talking seriously for the first time.

"I don't got a clue about half the crap you and your human leader up there in the tower were talking about, but I get that you're the reason I'm out here. Thing is, I still gotta find my friends, and nothin's gonna stop me from doin' that."

Louise listened, but she was still only one word away from blasting her familiar out of her seat. Give the state of the chairs and table they sat at, it was unlikely anything would be left once she did so.

"But that head honcho dude up there was right. If either of us screw up badly, things could go wrong from the monsters. I'm not about to let that happen." Undyne snorted with her breath. Louise was almost impressed she could see the air from the breath.

"You keep throwin' around the noble and stuff, but tell me, can I at least expect you to act noble?" However, she was more disgusted.

"Of course!" Louise shouted at her familiar. Who did she think she was, questioning her nobility? She was Louise de La Vallière, there was no question to the matter! "It's insulting for you to even insatiate I'm anything but. I'd forbid you from meals, but it appears you've eaten enough to last the week!"

"I ain't wasting good food," Undyne spoke up, snorting with laughter.

"But that's part of what I'm talking about. If I'm stuck here till that Colbert guy finds Asgore and the monsters, you're gonna have ta stop calling yourself my master and junk like that. I'm patient, everyone knows it, but I'm not gonna put up with that _crap_ much longer."

Louise _fumed_.

"I am _not_ relinquishing my role as your _master_!" Louise stood up if only to slam her foot to the ground. Her familiar was a brute, plain and simple. So many she only understood brutish displays. Very well.

"But seeing as I'm kinder than most other families, I'll allow you a single reason why I should not demand you address me as master or you my servant. Just one!"

"Asgore's a good guy, but do you think he'll be jolly to hear you tried to make yourself my master?" Undyne gave a toothy grin with the words. Louise understood why immediately.

Her own face was pale from the obvious insinuation. Turning the vassal of a king into a servant was unheard of, for good reason. Undyne was her familiar, there was no way Louise could allow anyone to question that, but that was almost the same as a servant.

If her king saw or heard that… then he might declare war.

Louise would not be the sole reason for Tristian going to war, no matter how unlikely the odds. She bit her tongue and clenched her hands. She was being trapped again, her one good act of magic in her entire life and it was being turned against her.

Why was this happening to her? Why did this have to happen to her _NOW_ of _all times_?!

"Hey, cheer up punk," Undyne spoke up. Louise felt no reason to give _her_ familiar the attention she craved. "I've been doin' plenty of research on humans with Alphys. I get you guys are pretty thick in the head, but you're a determined bunch." Then she slapped Louise's back.

The Vallière noble felt herself get thrown from her feet by the blow.

She rolled to a stop some distance away from the table, vision skewed and breath gone from her lungs. It took a moment for her to right herself, laying on the ground and eyes to the sky. It took the next for her to force air back into her chest, a deep gulping breath. The one after that, Undyne was right by her side.

"Geez, you okay?" she asked, unarmored hand hovering over Louise. "I'm gonna have to help bulk you up if we're gonna be hanging out." Louise, between her gulps of air, managed to screw a look of raw fury at the fish monster. Was that blow to the back meant to be taken so lightly? "Kinda hard for me to control my own strength. Props for actually staying awake though!"

This was what Louise was conflicted about. Undyne, her familiar, had the strength of an army in her every blow, but the discipline and respect of an unruly child! The nerve of her, the audacity! If only she were just some common thug or undisciplined brute. Then there would be no consequence for blasting fire at her! But no, the Rule of Steel…

"Here, let's get you up." Undyne spoke, grabbing at Louise's arm.

Like she was some used doll, Undyne lifted her up and dropped her on her feet. With one hand, no effort, and the subtlety of a boulder. Her every action both confirmed and denied her story, Captain of a Guard beneath a king. All the strengths but none of the discipline!

"Seriously though, we've gotta at least tolerate one another," Undyne kept talking. Didn't she realize what she had done yet? Maybe she simply didn't care… "I've gotta wait for Colbert to find the rest of the monsters and you're gonna be the VIP or whatever for when we find them. So can we at least call a truce?"

There really wasn't any other choice.

This wasn't a real truce.

This wasn't Louise giving up her power over her familiar. It was a compromise at best. It was her making the best of a bad situation, just as her mother had taught her to do. She would work with Undyne for now, placate her delusional familiar until she could reign her in.

Once she did, Louise knew she would have one of the greatest familiars ever to be summoned into the Founder's lands.

This wasn't her admitting to any fault on her part. It certainly wasn't her saying she'd simply let Undyne walk off with any monster race that Professor Colbert found, if any at all. Undyne was her familiar, and it would take more than a simple agreement to break that pact.

She was branded, after all, marked just as Professor Colbert had said she was.

Louise had her familiar. All she had to do now was wait until Undyne started to see how lucky she was.

"Agreed," Louise finally spoke, shaking Undyne's hand. The monster put on her over-done smirk.

It was the first time Louise had actually grabbed Undyne's webbed hands. It was then she could tell just how monstrous she was. Next to the fact that it felt like she could break her hand in two with the grip, her entire hand was all scaly, but smooth.

It felt like a fish that wasn't filleted yet, the kind her servants back at the manor would bring from the market before cooking. If nothing else, at least no one could accuse Louise of falsifying her magic now.

"Cool," Undyne let out, letting go of her hand. "It's getting late though ain't it?" She asked as she turned her head to the sky. Louise didn't need to know her familiar was right. Stars were already starting to peak out across the sky. She would have to return to her room soon for a good night's rest.

Tomorrow would be a day she could _not_ take lightly.

"Indeed, so we should best go to sleep," Louise spoke. "Fam… Undyne," she began and caught herself, speaking her familiar's name carefully. "I am sure I can have a servant bring a spare bed to my chamber's sleep in. We should rest for tomorrow."

"Yeah, should, but I'm gonna sleep out here." Louise already felt the futility of the promise appear.

"A noble is offering you a bed and you are deciding to throw the favor in my face?" Louise snarled out the words. Undyne wasn't even looking at her. She was just leaning back in her seat and staring up at the sky.

"Are you already breaking your end of the bargain?" Were the stars more interesting than an offered bed from a noble family?

"Given the shoddy work in that tower, I'm willin' to bet a tooth I'd break more in your room then I would out here!" Undyne sounded almost thrilled at the idea. _Thrilled!_

"But that ain't it. In case you already forgot, I've been living in a cave all my life." This really was a mistake, and Louise was already paying for it.

With as much ceremony as she had put into her other actions, Undyne fell flat on her back, straight to the ground. Louise felt her feet leave the earth for a moment by the force of the blow. She only just barely managed to keep her footing.

"For the first time, I can finally sleep looking at the stars." Louise blinked as she finished righting herself.

She was a noble. That meant she was far from uniformed or unintelligent. Undyne had told of her apparent prison underground, beneath a mountain and a barrier that surrounded it. Undyne really never had seen the night before.

So she was going to spend the entire night, outside, in the cold, just to stare up at the stars.

There wasn't much Louise could say to that.

"You really are an idiot, aren't you?" Louise could only ask the question, the answer already apparent.

Her familiar let out a chuckle before Louise could walk away completely. It was a bad idea, she knew it, but Louise would not be the noble to forego knowing enough about her familiar to control her. So with clenched teeth, she started what she hoped to be the last conversation with the fish humanoid that night.

"What is so amusing, familiar?" Undyne tilted her head up at her, the one good eyes she had looking at her for only a moment before looking back into the sky.

"Just thinkin'," she began. "Gerson used ta tell me about the moon at night, how big it was an all. I'm just tryin' ta figure out which one he was talkin' about."

Truly and idiot, within and without.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

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	3. Long, Blue, Friendly Spears!

Undyne felt something warm fall against her eyes. That was what woke her up. That was weird. Did Papyrus try cooking in her house again? She didn't need another fire. She raised her arm over her head, realizing as she did so that she was still wearing her armor. That was weirder. She usually hated sleeping in it. It was only when she blinked the sleep out of her eyes that she remembered why.

There wasn't a ceiling above her, but a blue sky. She wasn't lying on a bed, but green grass. There weren't walls around her. There was nothing. She was sleeping outside. _Outside_ outside, really outside. The kind of outside she'd been thinking about since she was like two!

Undyne usually hated waking up in the morning. But she couldn't help the grin that split her face right now. It was the best kind of weird there was.

"Ahahaha!" She laughed aloud, feeling the joy bubbling in her like it had yesterday, _yesterday_! "Wasn't a dream. It wasn't fake. This is real. _Real!_ " She threw her hands up into the air with the yell, still lying flat on her back and looking up at the sky. The sky with clouds and birds and a sun and stars last night. It was there and it was still just as amazing as before! There was no way she was ever gonna get tired of it!

She let her arms drop back to the ground. She felt them indent into the earth. Made a nice boom sound. It was only after the sound of the impact faded that Undyne realized there was a noise of fright behind her. Must have been one of the humans. She tilted her head back to get a good look at them.

There weren't a lot of them, at least not compared to how many monsters Undyne usually saw in busy parts of the Underground, but they definitely knew she was there. They were dressed pretty weird, but so were the brats from yesterday. At least Unydne was able to recognize what these humans were dressed as. Maids.

They were a bunch of maids, carrying baskets and trays around. Every one of them was giving Undyne a good look before they shuffled off to do whatever. They were all scurrying around one of the stone buildings, the one the pinkette punk got food from. Kay, one of the other humans brought the stuff out, but the point was food came from there. Food… Yup, she was hungry.

"Aaaaand up!" Undyne spoke as she rolled onto her back. She gave a push with her arms, sending her into the air before landing right back on her feet. She loved the dull boom it made when she hit the earth, almost as much as the small gasps of fright from the humans. It was great, she could scare them without even being near them!

She turned around, giving a quick pop of her neck. Sleeping outside? Freaking amazing! Sleeping on the ground? Not so much. Undyne would have to get a bed made up for her or something. That could wait though. She had hours to worry about that. Food? That was more important.

Undyne kept her grin up as she walked towards the humans. Asgore did say that smiles were a great way to disarm people. Given the way the humans were struggling to hold onto those trays of theirs, he was definitely onto something.

"Hey!" Undyne called out. One of the maids did drop her plate. Geez, she knew she was scary, but that was excessive. "Whoa, calm down. I was just gonna ask where I could get some grub." Undyne waved her hands at them as she approached.

"U-Um… I-I believe the kitchen! Yes, the kitchen can help you!" One of the maids shouted as she pointed at the door in the building. It was made of wood. "Please ask them! I-I'm sure they will be able to assist you!"

"Kay, tha-" Unyne let the word die in her throat as the humans starting walking off like their tails were on fair. Geez, that was just rude. She even asked politely and everything. Undyne gave a quick sigh. Whatever, it was probably just too early for them. Usually was for Undyne. Besides, there was food to find.

Took only a few steps to reach the door. Gripping the handle, Undyne gave it a push. Nothing. She blinked at it, pushing it a little harder. That was weird, the humans just came out of there. Maybe she just wasn't pushing hard enough. Easy way to fix that! Undyne pulled back her arm and gave the door a hard shove.

It flew inwards and clattered to the ground, pieces of it flying about. Undyne gave another sigh at the sight. Everything really was fragile up on the surface.

"What in the Founder's name!?" Some human was shouting inside. Little wonder why. "Who broke the door?! Why was that necessary?! Why I'll… I'll…" Undyne finally saw who was talking, around the same time they saw her. Wasn't very impressive, but given the size of that hat he was wearing, the human was probably the chef. He even had the gray hair to go with it. She made sure to give him a big smile. Best way to disarm and all.

"Sorry 'bout that. Not used to your fragile human stuff yet," Undyne apologize as she walked in. She took a deep breath of the air. Man the air smelled good! "But what are ya cookin'? That stuff smells awesome!" She gave a fist pump, the best way to show she was excited. The human was just shaking. Oh, and he had that surprised look on his face. Undyne knew she had to get used to humans looking like that.

"O-Oh! Um… uh, I-I apologize!" The human suddenly spoke up. Undyne lost her smile as he bowed at her. The heck was he apologizing for? Wasn't she the one that broke his door? Humans were weird. "I wasn't aware that… that we would be serving… you." Duh, of course not!

"Well how would ya?" Undyne asked, putting her hands to her hips. It got quiet all of the sudden. At least the sound of boiling water was still loud enough. She knew that from all her pasta cooking lessons with Papyrus. "I just came in lookin' for somethin. The humans outside told me ta come here to get some food. Am I in the right spot?"

"Of course! Yes, just please wait a moment while we prepare something for you." Wait, what? Like something special? "We are still in the midst of preparing a caviar dish with lamb roast for the nobles. I-If you allow me some time, I am sure I can make another for you."

"Okay, one, calm down," Undyne spoke up, raising a finger to the man. He shut up pretty fast. Probably helped that she was looking down at him. Humans were weird and short. "Two, I don't need all that fancy stuff. Why'd you think I would?"

"Uh… b-because yesterday, Master Vallière, she requested food for you. There were clear- _implicit_ instructions that you were a member of a foreign kingdom's court." Well, yeah, but that didn't answer Undyne's question. "We would never assume to dishonor you or your kingdom with food hastily prepared or improperly ordered."

"Seriously?" Undyne asked aloud, arms falling back to her sides. The human didn't look like he was excited by the word. He just had that same dumb human expression. "Look, the food yesterday was awesome, but I'm just hungry. I don't need a four-course meal or anythin' like that. Don't you have any pasta 'er bread lying around?" Carbing up was important to a good workout, and Undyne would be damned if she didn't have all the energy she could before she let loose today!

"I-I do, but it would be inappropriate, _very_ inappropriate for me to give you such a simple food alone." Okay, this was just getting annoying now. It must have shown on Undyne's face, cause the human was starting to sweat. Room was still pretty quiet for a kitchen. "B-But if you are willing to wait, I-I can make up a grand dish! Yes, that! I c-can make something… stupendous!" Final straw.

"Punk, if you won't make me something that simple then I'll just do it myself!" Oh heck yeah! Why didn't she think of this earlier! She gave Papyrus cooking lessons all the time. This would be a piece of cake! The usual shocked human look meant she was probably on the right track.

Undyne walked past the human, stripping off her gauntlets as she did so. It was always hot in a kitchen. Couldn't cook right while wearing metal heavier than the grill itself! Speaking off, where were the tools? Stove was kinda obvious, but she couldn't see the gas or timer on it. Weird, these humans must have been trying to cook old school. Usually didn't work out when Asgore tried that.

"M-Ma'am!" The human shouted as he walked quickly behind her. Undyne gave herself two guesses what he was gonna say. First one didn't count. "I understand we are not-have not-performed to your specifications, b-but I assure you there is no need to take such drastic-"

"This ain't drastic!" Undyne shouted as she took of her both her gauntlets. She tossed them onto a nearby table. One of the legs gave out. Everything humans made really were fragile! "I cook for myself back home all the time! If you punks can't even make a meal without it soundin' like you're setting up for a grand ball, then I'll just cook it myself. Isn't that called a win-win?" She started to unclasp her torso by the pauldrons. It may have been the most kickass piece of her armor, but damn if it wasn't the most annoying to take off and put on.

"You cook for… yourself?" The human sounded surprised by that. Did she look like she was that bad at cooking? He must have just been too scared of her still. She had to keep her calm. "W-Why? Surely a member of a kingdom's court could order food every-" Calm gone.

"Cause cookin' is something I enjoy doin!" Undyne shouted, giving a good pull of her armor as she did so. The torso snapped off. She gave a heated sigh of pleasure as the fresh air hit her. Would have been better if she was outside, but that would happen pretty soon. At least her she had somewhere to put her stuff. "You can't understand something as simple as that, then make way for me ta' show you how it's done!"

Undyne tossed her torso at the same teetering table that had her gauntlets. The weight of the metal hitting the table top sent the whole structure to the floor. At least her stuff wasn't on the ground, technically. The humans were freaking out about it though, the wusses.

"I… No, please, at the very least allow me to cook with you." The human shook his head before he began talking to her. Took Undyne that long to realize he was looking a little south before he met her eyes. "I can show you where the tools are a-and perhaps you may allow me to make a grand meal for some…one of your standing."

"My standing?" Undyne questioned as she undid the clasps of her boots and greaves. This stuff was the easiest to take off. She was done before she even started talking to the human again. "The only thing I'm standing on are my boots! What makes you think I'm any better than you?" Undyne wasn't even sure why she asked it. Something about how the human was acting was just irking her. The kids she could handle. This human, he was acting like some brownnoser with an agenda.

Undyne tossed what was left of her armor towards the pile that was once a table. She thought she heard the floor crack, but ignored it. If stone couldn't even handle her, then this place was in danger. She looked back at the gray haired man, hands to her hips and lips twisted into a smile. Had to disarm him to get the truth.

But he was looking at everything but her face. The hell? What was he doing? Undyne gave a quick look around the room, seeing if any of the other humans had the brain cells necessary to help her out. But they were all just staring at her, looking her up and down with those stupid human expressions. Wide eyes, open mouth, and a dumb look over all. Where they surprised to see a monster or were they checking her out!?

"Hey!" Undyne shouted at the human chef. He jumped at her yell. Good. The rest of the humans did, too. Even better! "Case all of this is a surprise to ya, I am a monster, I am a woman, and I am gonna get myself something to eat. Are you gonna help me or do I have takeover yer kitchen!?" She motioned herself up and down with her arms, loving the feeling of the air across her bare scales. Too bad she couldn't focus on that now.

"I-I'll help! I'll help!" The human picked up. There was the spirit! Undyne gave him a huge grin to celebrate. Sucking in the air, practically tasting the food that was drenching it, she spoke on.

"Awesome!" She bellowed, pumping her arm up and down. "Then let's get ta work! We're gonna need to need some eggs if we're gonna make an omelet, and I call dibs on _pulverizing_ them!" Undyne slammed her fists together. The humans yelled out various levels of screams at the boom she made. Wimps and wusses, the lot of them.

"O-Okay, okay! I-I-I'll get the eggs!" The chef ran to one direction, pointing at humans as he did so. Good! With the humans help, Undyne knew she'd be able to make the best omelet she ever had, cause it was one she was gonna be making on the surface!

"Sweet, now if he's gettin' the eggs, I just need to-"

" _Familiar!_ " Even Undyne felt her head bob and rise at the volume of the yell. Her grin vanished as she tilted her head, looking for the familiar voice. Didn't take her long to find the pinkette.

"Morning, punk!" Undyne yelled out to the familiar brat, waving at her from across the kitchen. The brat didn't look happy, but that was better than the dumb look of surprise she usually wore. "You comin' in for breakfast, too?"

"Food?!" The pinkette yelled again. "You broke down the door to the kitchen because you were hungry?! What kind of court are you apart of that allows such reckless damage?! No, on second thought, do not answer that." The punk put her hand to her head. "Besides, breakfast ended hours ago! It is lunch that's near approaching."

"Seriously?" Undyne asked. She must have slept in. Guess the outside air made her drowsier than usual. She'd have to work on that. "Sorry, usually I get up early. Guess without an alarm my schedule got messed up."

"That is unacceptable!" Louise shouted again. Geez, Undyne was glad she was doing something, but she was honestly missing how quiet she was when she put on that dumb look of surprise. "You are supposed to inform me before you do any of these reckless actions of yours! At least then I may be able to… to…" Oh yeah, that's the one.

Weird, usually the humans only did that after Undyne did something. But there the long haired brat was, staring at Undyne with those wide eyes and gaping jaw. Least now she was as quiet as the rest of the room. Usually Undyne had to do something like shake the ground, or break one of the humans' fragile things, or take off her armor… oh yeah! All her armor was off! That must have been it.

"What, surprised by my bare scales?" Undyne twisted one of her arms, letting her ripped limb show itself off. She ended with a great flex, putting her fist right next to her head. That really showed off her stuff. "Not used ta seein' monsters like me, are ya?" Even Undyne knew that was a dumb question. How could the brat be used to that?

"No… I suppose I am not," the punk let out. She was shaking her head, hair waving a bit more with each wave. Maybe it'd come off if she shook hard enough. That'd be fun to watch. "Your… scales and webbing aside, what is that attire you are wearing?" Wait, her clothes? That was why the human got all quiet? Geez, these guys were dumb. Hopefully Asgore and the rest of the guys were having more luck on their end.

"You mean my tank top?" Undyne pinched and pulled at the thin material. She liked it cause it made it easy to move. Wasn't supposed to be eye-catching. She had clothes for that… back in the Underground. Well, crap. "Or you talkin' 'bout my jeans? They're nothing special."

"Well of course they aren't," the brat spoke up. Undyne felt a smile stretch across her lips, one that acted like frowning was a good idea. Made her lips end up somewhere in the middle. "But it's… difficult to appraise them in the servant quarters. Come, we'll have our discussion outside. We've troubled the help enough." Without waiting for a word of confirmation, the punk just walked right back out the way she came from. Door way with no door.

That little brat, acting like Undyne was just gonna roll over and do as she asked. What kind of human did she think she was, acting all high and mighty when she could barely even lift a pebble off the ground? Then again… Undyne was the one who broke down the door… Eh, that made them even. Still had a point though. If these humans were working it would've been pretty mean of Undyne to keep them from doing that. Man, diplomacy was hard. How did Asgore expect to do this full-time? She did not envy the big guy.

"Hey, human," Undyne spoke up to the returning chef. He shook at her voice. Undyne made sure to give him the same wide-faced grin. "I'm trustin' ya to make somethin' good. Can't let that brat get too worked up. Be bad if Asgore found out I made a bad impression on you guys."

"O-Oh yes, of course! I'll… I-I'll have a servant inform you when it is done." Servant? The heck? Eh, whatever. There were a lot weirder names he could have used other than that.

"Good to hear!" She gave him a good slap on the back. She heard something pop. Must have been some other dish a human was working on. That was good, meant that got motivated! Undyne turned and walked out the arch way to the kitchen. She kinda turned it into that when she blew down the door. Doorways needed doors. Arch ways were just openings.

Not even two steps outside did she see the human punk waiting for her, arms crossed and wearing the weirdest pout on her face. She looked like the kids in Snowdin when they didn't get the right presents on Christmas. It would've been cute if she wasn't trying to be such a brat.

"Where is your armor?" She asked first. Course it was a question that made no sense. "At least while you are wearing that dark steel you had an air of control. Now you look like horribly malformed Plebian." It was like this brat wanted to get killed!

"Hate ta break it to ya, but that armor is heavy!" Undyne threw her arms out with the declaration. "I wear that on the job, but when it's time for me ta relax there's no way I'm gonna be marching around in the stuff. Oh, and looking malformed? Duh, I'm a monster! If anything _you're_ the hideous one!" Wow, the human turned red.

"How _dare_ you!" The pinkette shouted, even stomping down her foot like it was supposed to be scary. It was about as scary as Papyrus setting up his traps. Undyne crossed her arms at the whining punk. "How dare you mock me like I'm some Plebian! How dare you! Why I'll… I'll…!" Then the brat pulled out some stick.

Undyne tilted her head at it. What was that supposed to be, a wand? Maybe, a lot of Alphys's shows said that humans needed that to do magic. She knew humans had some kind of magic from that stuff, but it was pretty weak in comparison to monster magic. Sides, not like it would've mattered any-.

"Fireball!" Undyne's world exploded.

Something hit her, _hard._ She didn't see it coming and she definitely didn't have time to put up anything. It was just some kind of… of explosion! It went off right in her face! That explained why when she was able to open her eyes again she was looking up at the sky. She blinked at it.

"What… in the hell…" She was able to spit out. She wasn't hurt, not really. Undyne had taken much worse blows than that in Waterfall, usually by letting the rocks hit her while they fell down waterfalls. Sides, magic on a monster was about as useful as fighting fire with fire. Asgore told her that. But still… the hell?

Undyne sat up slowly, shifting her webbed fingers through her hair. Matting it down made it easy to feel if any of her scales got knocked loose. Thankfully there were no new bumps, just the lot she got from training over the years. That was good. But geez! The heck hit her anyways? For that answer, all she had to do was look forwards.

First thing she saw sitting up was the pinkette, holding her hands to her mouth and looking pretty terrified. Weird, usually Undyne had to stand above a human with a grin to get that expression, or their dumb one. At least this one had emotion.

"U-Undyne!" She stuttered. "I-I apologize! Profusely! I had no intention to harm you that way! It was just… I mean…" she was rattling off for no reason. Wait, did she do that?

"The hell you'd do?" Undyne asked her, shaking her head left and right. Didn't have a headache; that was good. Still, comfortable as it was, she couldn't stay on the ground forever. She pushed herself till she was standing. Would've been towering over the human if she was standing closer to her. "Felt like a freight train just ran into me."

"That was… my magic," the human spoke up. Wait, her magic? Undyne knew it! Humans could do magic! But then what the hell was that?

"Then why'd ya say Fireball?" Undyne asked as she got closer. She rolled her shoulders, feeling the muscles work. No kinks or bruises. That was good. That would have made the outside air hard to enjoy. Heh, outside. "Felt more like some kinda explosion went off in my face. Pretty damn sure it sounded like one, too."

"I-It was a mistake!" She suddenly shouted. Undyne felt a small pulse in her head. So much for no headache. "I-I was… I was distracted! So my spell naturally was distorted. Yes. If I were of sounder mind, you would have been set ablaze!" Did she really think that? Humans really were dumb. At least they were determined.

"Doubt it," Undyne returned. "Given the stuff Asgore usually threw at me during training, it'd take a lot more than some human spell ta do more than that to me." She gave a small grin at the human, not as big as she'd like, but enough. Too bad she couldn't yell at the headache to go away. The past taught her a hundred times over that didn't work.

"Well of course not!" the punk shouted again. Geez, she was either too loud or too quiet. There really was no in between! "I-I am just a student! You're king is a ruler and therefore far more practiced than I am at the moment." Yeah, a moment that wouldn't change no matter how much time passed. "But on the topic of magic, I have class to attend."

"Wait, magic class?" Undyne asked incredulously. They had that? Geez, guess the humans had to go through a lot of weird training to use their magic right. They were no monsters, so it made sense, she guessed. "What am I gonna do then? I'm not gonna sit inside and watch you humans wave sticks all day."

"We do far more than that, fam… Undyne." The brat's yell fell into some soft tone of her name. Must have really doused the fire for her to turn around like that! Well, she still had that scowl going. The punk needed some work if she was going for intimidating. "But for now, you will remain outdoors with the other familiars summoned yesterday. Does that suit you?"

Staying outside all day? Oh yeah, Undyne could live with that.

* * *

Not saying a word in defiance? Louise was pleased with that.

"So what's there for me to do?" Undyne asked still. Of course she did. "Not that I'm complaining 'bout the outdoors, but there's gotta be something I can do ta keep myself moving. Like, you got any games or training area I can work in?" Her every word was a conundrum, a puzzle that Louise had no patience to solve.

"There are none," Louise responded quickly. "A fa… You are supposed to await outside until lessons are over. Then, we are to have the remaining time today and tomorrow to learn of one another." It was the Rest of the Summoning. A simple act that this monster didn't seem to understand.

"That's cool, but it doesn't give me anything to do." She had her hands to her hips. Louise would have to ask later what that material she was wearing was made of. It looked absolutely drab. "You don't seriously expect me to sit still and do nothing for a good hour, do ya?" She did, but Louise realized she no longer could.

"Entertain yourself with the other familiars," she waved her hand at the group of them. Her fellow students were giving their own orders to their beings. Single sentences that were immediately understood. A shame the same didn't apply to her own. "I am sure you can find some means to commune with them."

"How, they're a bunch animals?" Undyne waved her hand at them. "They got not clothes, or weapons, or anything damn it!" She threw out her arms at that. "I'm not Sans, ya can't give me nothin' ta do and think that I'll… is that a dragon?" Louise could not remember a time she was ever so happy to have a conversation derailed.

She followed Undyne's gaze, her single eye, towards the creature in question. It was Tabitha's dragon, a grand beast that was easily amongst the most impressive summons of the ritual, Undyne herself being the obvious best. Said blue dragon was currently lying on its side, the small mage Tabitha standing just by it. She was probably giving some instructions to not fly away and not to eat the smaller familiars.

"Yes, that is a dragon," Louise began. "An impressive familiar summoned by Tabitha. As you both are summons, I am sure there is a way for you to-"

"Hey! Blue-Hair!" Undyne yelled out as she starting walking over towards Tabitha. Louise felt her heart race as her fellow student turned towards Undyne, a bored expression across her face. "Is that a dragon? Did you summon it?"

"Yes," Tabitha answered in a single word. She didn't do anything else. She just held her book to her chest and gripped her staff. The dragon behind her twisted its head, easily by its long neck. Louise was still a bit frozen by Undyne's sudden interjection.

"That's awesome!" Her monster familiar let out. Louise wasn't sure what to do anymore. "What's its name? Gotta be something cool."

"Sylphid," Tabitha replied simply again. The dragon looked at her master before moving gaze over towards Undyne. Her back to Louise, the Vallière noble could only assume her familiar was grinning with that same mad expression. "Why?"

"Why? Why what? It's a freakin' dragon!" Undyne shouted again as she threw her arms towards the blue beast. Even the dragon seemed perplexed by her familiar's actions. At least Louise wasn't alone. "I bet that thing could fly around the world in like a day! I mean with those wings how couldn't you?!" She was sounding excited. Maybe this would keep her outside.

That was before the dragon swooped its claw towards Undyne, lifting the monster into the air with a quick grip and throw.

Louise shouted something, but she honestly wasn't sure what or to who. She could make out Tabitha waving her staff, maybe casting her own magic as well. The blasted blue dragon just turned over onto its stomach, letting the free-falling Undyne land right onto its hump.

"Whoa! That was awesome!" Undyne shouted again, pumping her fists into the air. It made Louise freeze. Awesome? She was nearly killed! "It takes a lot ta get me off the ground. Maybe cause I'm out of that armor, but still, that was sweet!"

In a display of her clearly grand physique, Undyne swung one of her legs over the dragon, pushing off of its hump with both arms. It allowed the fish monster to tumble over the dragon's wing, flipping twice deftly through the air before landing in a smooth crouch on the ground. She twisted back towards the blue beast with a proud grin, red hair waving behind her like a tail. Louise chose then to go off.

"Tabitha!" She shouted at her fellow student. She didn't seem fazed in the slightest. "Control your familiar! Of all things it could have done, that was easily the most unprovoked and ludicrous of actions it could have taken! Attacking mine so needlessly is a clearly poor demonstration of your ability to-"

"Chill out punk!" Louise felt her words cut off. More by the sudden blow to her shoulder than Undyne's interruption. Did she attack her? No… she just put her webbed hand on her shoulder. "The big guy here was just showin' me what it's capable of. Guess that means it's my turn now." What? Oh, that couldn't be good. It wasn't helped by the sight of her familiar cracking her neck and cupping one of her fists.

"F-Undyne," Louise quickly caught herself. "I understand Sylphid insulted you just now, but a dragon is vastly superior in terms of strength. Its size alone is enough to challenge many mages of even line class. Let Tabitha and I deal with its rude behavior." Undyne just gave her a look, her look. The one with the screwed lips and quirked eye. It annoyed Louise as much as her familiar's desire to commit disobedience.

"Insult? The hell was the insult? I just said it was awesome!" Undyne put back on that shark grin. "Now I've got to impress it!" Like it was the end of the discussion, Undyne marched back towards the dragon. Tabitha was at least wary as Louise was.

"Wait," she spoke simply, putting up her staff between Undyne and the dragon. At least her familiar stopped when told. "Why?"

"Why what?" Undyne asked Tabitha. Louise was close to screaming. "Why am I gonna answer yer dragon's challenge? Cause I'm not gonna be beatin' in a contest of strength!" Again, as if that was a proper answer, Undyne pushed Tabitha's staff out of the way, walking up to the dragon.

Sylphid looked wary now, not that Louise could blame the blue dragon. However, it was its fault for attacking her familiar so suddenly, launching her into the air. A single mistake could have seriously hurt Undyne. If her familiar was going to match the feat, somehow, then it was fair. She didn't have much to worry though.

Undyne was unarmed. She wasn't even adorned in that ridiculously heavy armor that she usually wore. At best, in the best case scenario, she'd attempt to lift or move the dragon, be disappointed, and then Louise could go to classes with less to worry about. It may even give this monster a bit of humility. Perhaps she'd have to discuss with Tabitha about-

"Kyuuuu!" The shout from the dragon rocked Louise's train of though. The sight that met her eyes destroyed her plans.

Undyne picked up Sylphid.

Undyne, her familiar who was only a head or two taller than her, had picked up a dragon that was easily a dozen times her own size. With two out stretched hands, legs split at equal lengths, her fish monster was lifting up the blue dragon like a paper weight. The sight was… impossible.

"Ha!" Undyne let out some kind of bark, maybe of victory. "Told ya I'd beat ya in strength!" She announced again. She apparently did, because she started to move. Even with the dragon atop her, held up by her two hands, Undyne was able to move her footing until she was facing Louise. The grin across her face was as expected as the sun in the sky. It was no less annoying.

Louise, however, was too stupefied to speak. Her familiar's strength was far beyond simply enormous. It was… ridiculous. She was lifting a dragon for the founder's sake! A dragon that was easily large enough to carry a small part on its back and take to the skies. A dragon large enough to eat Undyne several times over and not be filled! Louise was able to spare a look at Tabitha. Her fellow student had an uncharacteristic look of surprise across her features as well. At least they were in good company.

"KyuuuUUUUuuuUUU!" Sylphid shouted again, voice changing in pitch. Louise didn't need thought to know why. Undyne was crouching and standing with the dragon still in her arms. She didn't even look as if she was fatigued.

"Oh yeah! It's like free weights!" She shouted the odd phrase into the air. Louise watched as the fins on the side of her familiar's head flapped, her long red mane moving in tandem with the action. "If you're the heaviest thing in the yard, I bet I could lift every other animal and you. You know what, I'm gonna do just that!" Oh no she wasn't!

"Familiar!" Louise shouted Undyne's title. "You have proven your point! Release Tabitha's dragon at once!" She stomped her foot with the words, staring at the monster with what she hoped to be a smoldering expression. Undyne didn't look fazed in the slightest.

"Nah, I'm good!" She shouted back, twisting around on the balls of her feet. Sylphid was quiet now. "Pretty sure this dragon is up for it, too. Can't be often somethin' this big gets to be carried around!" That was entirely beside the point.

"Fine," Tabitha suddenly spoke, earning Louise's immediate attention. She stared at the blue haired girl, who was looking up at her dragon. "Safe?"

"What, for me or the beast?" Undyne laughed at her question. She was the only one. Louise was still focused on her familiar, on the blue scaly arms that showed a definition of muscle she hadn't noticed before, allowing the fish familiar to lift the dragon. She was undecided if it was a benefit to having such an improperly made shirt. "Don't worry punk, I ain't gonna hurt the dragon. Pretty much doubt it'd be able to do much to me!" Louise believe it.

Then, as if to prove some unneeded point, Undyne let go with one of her hands. Now she was holding up easily a few dozen times her own weight with one arm. She did it with a bright grin and flex to her free arm, showing off her strength with that mad smile.

In the very least, no one could possibly say Louise had summoned a simple familiar.

"We… We should go," Louise found herself speaking to Tabitha. "Undyne… she won't do anything… damning." It was the only word she found herself able to honestly say. Tabitha gave a wordless nod, giving her dragon a long look.

"KyuuuUUUUU!" Sylphid let out as Undyne lifted her higher into the air, somehow. Undyne laughed with the dragon's cry. The laughter of the monster was almost as frightening as her titanic strength. If nothing else, it attracted the remaining familiars. It was of little surprise that Louise's fellow nobles were lengths back.

Louise didn't attempt to think of another word to give her familiar. Her mind was still catching up with the display of strength. She needed to think. She needed to go to class. At least there she would be able to dedicate her mind to something other than Undyne's near maddening strength. She walked ahead towards the lecture hall with Tabitha behind her, her familiar's laughter filling the air.

When she entered the stone halls, it felt as if a gentle blanket was lain over her fears. There was little reason to worry now, at least towards her position with Undyne. Her familiar was many things, clearly, but she had yet to speak dishonestly. She wouldn't harm the other familiars and it was unlikely she would risk losing her lead to her people. She would stay in the garden, she would stay active with Tabitha's dragon, and she would remain proof that Louise was no longer the Zero.

She wasn't a Zero. It was enough of a statement to bring a cheerful smile to her face.

"Having a good day, Zero?" The grin fell as soon as the words met her ears. Louise turned her head to see Kirche walking to keep pace with her, the fiery red head folding her arms beneath her needlessly ample chest. "And after such a _curious_ display from that familiar of yours."

"How could I not be having a good day Zerbst?" Louise countered. She entered through the door way to the lecture hall as she spoke, moving up the aisles to her seat. She wanted one by the window today. "After the display I witnessed with Tabitha, it would be an insult for me to feel anything other than pride."

"Pride for your familiar?" The cows returned. She sounded annoying as ever, especially with the seemingly perpetual grin on her face. Undyne was terrifying and intimidating. Kirche's was just annoying. "That malformed thing? Wouldn't you need more than simple strength to have any sense of pride for it? How can you be so prideful when your familiar will not even listen to you?"

"Her name is Unydne," Louise spoke. She said it so the Germanian cow could hear her, but she said it for herself, too. She was Undyne. She was her familiar, but she was more than that. The professor and headmaster had confirmed as such. She was a noble, but they were her teachers. "And she does listen to me. She merely… She apparently serves directly under a king named Asgore, a ruler of monsters."

"Monsters?" Kirche asked, open hand to her lips. They went there often. "Hideous as she seems, she's at worst a bit over zealous with her actions. One can hardly call her a monster. A beast, perhaps, one that could be of use in bed, with her stamina…" She let out what had to be a half-hearted chuckle.

Louise looked at her familiar, doing pushups on the grass aside the other student's familiars. A couple of them were sitting on her back. No, Louise corrected herself. Tabitha's dragon was on her back. The other familiars were atop that. If Louise was despondent of many things, she could at least take comfort in her familiar's undeniable strength.

"She called herself a monster," Louise corrected. "She made it _very_ clear to both Professor Colbert and Headmaster Osmond than she was a monster, living in some place called the Underground aside other monsters, ruled by monsters, and everything else involving monsters. I'm sure she'd be happy if you called her one."

"Strong," Tabitha spoke up, short as always. Louise didn't bother giving the over achiever attention, she didn't need any. Besides, her dragon had assaulted Undyne. "But scary." That got her attention though.

"Scary?" She asked the blue haired noble incredulously. "Ha! She's a fish out of water gasping for air! You saw her when _I_ first summoned her. She tore up the yard like some dog without a leash, making arm and legs swings without restraint. That's not even to mention the damage she did to the headmaster's office."

"I find it hard to _not_ be afraid of someone who can damage the Headmaster's office and leave unscathed," Kirche added on. She grinned as Louise shot her a hard sneer. "But, for a grown woman's curiosity, what did she do to damage old Osmond's office? Snap a pen?" Louise snorted. If only.

"After shattering his windows, she proceeded to demolish his desk by dropping her over-weighted gauntlet on it. She only stopped when she slammed her webbed fist on it, letting everything on the desk fly about the room." Louise could distinctly remember the exasperation she felt when Undyne had done that. She bit her lip as the feelings of rage resurfaced. "That's not counting her breaking down the door to the servant's quarters earlier."

It didn't help that her familiar had moved on in her exercise, lacking nothing in the shear ridiculousness of them. She'd gone from doing pushups with hundreds of stones worth of weight on her back to lifting Tabitha's blue dragon in the air! Louise could see the shark like grin on Undyne's face, especially when she began to do some sitting exercise with the beast in her hands. At least the dragon itself didn't appear any more frightened.

How humorous the world was now, worrying that Undyne would scare a dragon.

"Very scary," Tabitha spoke again. Louise had already given up talking to the girl. Walls were better conversations than the noble was. "Very strong." At least she was right there.

"She has to be," Louise found herself saying. There wasn't much else to say as the nobles watched their familiars through the class room windows. Until Professor Colbert showed up, it was hardly as if there was anything else more important to discuss. "According to her, she was the _Captain_ of her king's Royal Guard."

"Oh, now that is impressive," Kirche spoke up. Louise loathed the tone of her voice. Maybe it was just the sound. "A captain directly under a king. Now I'm simply forced to ask why she is so accepting of being here, especially under false pretenses." Louise growled through her teeth. She didn't need an imagination to know what the cow was insinuating

" _My familiar_ , summoned just yesterday, _by me_ , is waiting for word of where the rest of her kind is," Louise turned enough to poke at Zerbst chest, between her two oversized fat bags. "Headmaster Osmond explained to her clearly the futility of running out into the country side without direction. _I_ was able to show her that staying here was the preferable option." A half-truth meant more than a total lie.

"Oh, come now little Zero," Kirche spoke that damnable name. Louise made no effort to hide her sneer at the cow. "She very clearly is beyond any normal familiar brought through the ritual. It should be expected of a noble of high rank, not no rank." She raised the back of her hand to her lips, chuckling at her own joke. She held her other arm under her chest, giving the useless fat packets something to rest on.

"Speak all you want Zerbst," Louise blew air at the haughty Germanian. "Undyne is proof that I am _not_ a Zero anymore. You're words are worth as much as that chest you throw around at the first-years." Louise took small pride at the look of insult Kirche wore, no matter how fake it was. The small feeling of accomplishment was quickly dashed.

"Oh of course, _Zero_ ," a snide voice spoke up from behind the Vallière noble. She felt her skin crawl when the boy it belonged to kept approaching, let alone kept talking. "Since it is so easy to accept that you of all the nobles was able to bring forth a creature as strong as her."

"Guiche!" Louise shouted at the pompous brat. Oh how she wanted to crush that rose he was holding. "If you want to throw more useless words, go talk to the first years! Unless you have a better explanation for how she is here, you have nothing to say." Louise dismissed the uncouth bachelor with a wave of her hand.

It didn't matter what the others thought of her magic any more. _She_ had summoned Undyne here, no one else. There was no way to bend or explain away what she had done. It was her magic that had brought the monster here, _hers_. It was nothing short of ingrained stupidity that he still referred to her as the Zero.

"Is that what you believe, a Zero to hero?" Guiche laughed in that pompous voice that made every drop of blood in Louise's body boil. It was only made worse by her fellow students joining in on the act, mockery of their pier, their equal. "I won't sully my name with unfounded lies, but do you truly think anyone here believes you summoned that familiar?"

"I don't care what they believe," Louise spoke back to the arrogant fool. "Lest of all what some womanizer such as yourself says. Professor Colbert and the Headmaster both believe, both even looked over the brand on my familiar's hand!" She gave a rough point to her own hand, right where she knew Undyne was marked. That was unmistakable proof, if any of these cowards even bothered to check.

"Perhaps they were merely making sure you hadn't cheated," Guiche supplied. "Maybe they were putting their own mark on the monster. After all, who could believe such a ridiculous story as the one you told? A monster from a kingdom under a mountain? Captain of the Royal Guard? What lunacy were you stricken with to think any of us would believe that?"

"I'm close to asking you the same thing, Guiche," Louise snarled out. She wouldn't break his rose. She wouldn't. Even though she was within every right to put him in his place, cast her magic at him as she had done with summoning Undyne just yesterday, she didn't. She had to follow the Rule of Steel. "Why else would you believe any woman would fall for your antics?"

"Now now, I think we're all simply getting over heated here," Kirche, of all the students present spoke up. With her oversized bosom, she stepped between Guiche and Louise, wearing that same grin Louise loathed. She only found it tolerable when the Germanian was covering it with her hand. "I'm all for a bit of excitement, but the classroom simply isn't the place for it. Far too public. Why don't we reel ourselves in, hmm?"

Louise turned her nose at the Kirche. She was right, to a very small almost miniscule point. There simply wasn't any use in expressing her emotions here of all places. Professor Colbert would arrive soon and all matters would be settled when he did. Bantering with Guiche was as useful a way to pass the time as banging her head against the wall. It was likely just as enjoyable.

"Well said, my dear Zerbst," Guiche attempted to speak smoothly. Louise found it as grating as unrefined coal. "Truly a Germanian Flame such as yourself knows the proper time to glow."

"And your words are worth as much as your own name, Guiche the Bronze," Kirche returned in her usual tone, joined in with light laughter from the rest of the room. To Louise's disappointment, Guiche didn't take the words to heart. She would have loved to see the brat fall over defending himself.

"Oh, such cold words from the Ardent," Guiche spoke superfluously, hand to his head and rose to his side as if wounded. If only. "And here my hopes were raised you would alight my soul instead." Louise blew a breath of air from between her lips.

"Pathetic," she heard Tabitha speak in a low whisper. With that one word, Louise found herself seeing the quiet noble in a whole new light. Any further conversation was kept away by the girl walking away, taking her seat by her appropriate desk. Antisocial as ever.

Discussion around the classroom withered and died as the doors to the lecture hall finally opened. In came the familiar head of Professor Colbert, brandishing his usual staff and carrying a great many scrolls on his person. Louise had little curiosity what was on them. She would either be told what they were or find out soon enough. Instead she turned her attention back out the window one last time before she took her sight, hoping to see what her familiar was doing now.

Except she couldn't see her.

"What?" Louise let out quietly, eyes searching the yard of familiars for the familiar blue fish. She may not have been as eye catching without her metal armor, but with hair as red as hers and the scales to contrast, she was hardly simple to miss. But she couldn't see Undyne anywhere across the yard. She was lifting, pushing, or throwing any of the other animals.

Did she leave? Did her patience run out and she finally leave the Academy? No, that couldn't happen. She was forbidden to, she knew better than to abandon Louise! Undyne needed her, she needed Louise in order to find the rest of the monsters. She was still her familiar. It was inappropriate, _impossible_ to simply leave on a whim and-

All of Louise's fear left when she saw Undyne running around the dormitories. She was carrying Tabitha's Dragon in her arms. No, more like over her head.

Her red mane of hair was billowing behind her as she sprinted around the building, indents being left in the dirt. It was difficult to tell if it was because of the massive weight she was carrying or she was simply too strong for the ground to endure. Both were equally likely. At the moment though, it hardly mattered.

"Professor Colbert, may I ask a question?" Louise's attention returned to the classroom as Kirche spoke up, her useless bust hanging over her desk. The professor at the front of the room gave a nod of his head as he laid out his scrolls. "We were just having a _lively_ debate before you entered, regarding Louise's 'familiar'." Louise felt her knuckles go white with the strength of her balled fists. "Is it what she says true? That she hails from a kingdom of monsters?"

"Undyne? Yes, at least that is the conclusion the Headmaster and I have reached thus far." Louise felt her grip relax as she gave the Germanian Cow her own haughty look. It served her right for questioning her honesty as a noble. "At this time it is the only conclusion that can be reached given her appearance. But if you have questions regarding familiars and the nature of their appearance, I suggest we wait until after class."

For the first time in a long time, Louise was looking forward to the professor's lecture.

"Oh! That does remind me. Ms. Vallière," Professor Colbert called out, earning Louise's complete attention. He was still smiling kindly as he called her name. "The Headmaster would like to speak with you following lecture regarding Undyne's position in her kingdom's court. You need not worry, it's a simple conversation regarding insurance that when we do find her kind, we meet on good terms."

Louise could almost feel the literal pieces of her pride, damaged and chipped away from near an entire year of ridicule and mockery, being smelted back together by the professor's words. The whispers from the other students, made in awe instead of jeers. The Rule of Steel was strong and true as ever.

Her familiar was outside and happy. It would be improper for Louise not to feel a bit of pride as well.

* * *

Undyne was as excited as she could be. It'd be stupid for her not to feel like a million gold coins!

She was doing a cardio workout, _outside!_ She was lifting dragons and running laps, _outside!_ She was sweating through her scales, _outside!_ She was freaking outside and nothing could ever top this! It could have only gotten better if there was a pool and a bunch of hot girls waiting for her!

"This is awesome!" She shouted into the sky, lifting the blue dragon over her head with the yell. She didn't remember when the other animals jumped on top of the beast, but it didn't make much of a difference. They must have been having a great a time as she was!

How couldn't they be having a good time!? They were freaking _outside!_ The air was so clear! The sun was so bright! Everything was just… perfect! She threw Sylphid up into the air, jumping with the effort. Maybe she should be doing this off of one of the buildings, that'd be even awesomer!

"Kyuuuu!" the dragon let out as she was flung into the air. Oh yeah, must have been too quick for the beast to catch itself. Undyne caught the dragon with one arm outstretched. Pretty dang heavy still, but she'd bet a tooth she could suplex Sylphid if she wanted to.

"Alright, I think that's good fer now," Undyne admitted as she lowered her arm, slow enough for the dragon to get the idea. Must have read her mind, cause Undyne wasn't even halfway down when the dragon let its talons hit the dirt. It tilted its long face at her. Undyne returned the look with a wide grin of her own. She could feel her sweat running through her hair. Must have been staining her clothes. "Thanks for the help with the workout! I don't think the humans would be too happy if I tore up their homes to find some heavy weights."

"KyuuuUUUU!" the dragon let out again, practically pointing its face at her like a spear. Heh, it was even the right color, too bad it was way too thick to be good for throwing. Least it had wings.

"I know, I know, it was fun fer me, too. First work out on the surface was a major hit!" Undyne made a mean flex of her arms with the statement. She could feel her muscles getting stronger from the effort, feel her magic holding her together even better. Everything really was better on the surface, greener too. "Now I just gotta find where I can wash my stuff. Be kinda disgusting if I wore this for the rest of the day." She pinched and pulled at her tank top, feeling the hot air escape through the small opening she made.

She moved a little, mostly because the dragon pushed her with her snout. Wasn't a hard push, not considering that the kick butt beast was able to pick her no prob. It definitely got her attention though. Problem was it really didn't do much other than that. Just kept staring at her with those big ol' eyes.

"What's up, ya need somethin'?" Undyne asked, putting one of her webbed hands to her hips. The other used the ends of her fingers to run through her hair. Stuff stuck together when she started to sweat and that just made it heavy. "You're gonna have to give me five before I start picking you up again. How long was I workin' out for anyways?"

The dragon just shook its head. Undyne wondered if that would've sent her flying if it hit her. Maybe, but probably not if she had her armor on. Wasn't worth it though. If she was hot now, she'd have been roasting if she wore it during the workout.

"Gotta admit, it's kinda hard for me to tell. Don't have a clock on me with my phone broken. That, and I've been feeling just too pumped to tell!" She slammed one of her fists into her bare palm. She dragon shook for a moment, probably cause the boom she made. Least it didn't scared like the humans did. Definitely not wimpy. "Still though, kinda hard to say I've really soaked in the day if all I did was workout. This ain't the Underground, so I gotta do something different, right? Kind of like sleeping outside. Wait, do you always sleep outside?"

Undyne asked the questions as she played with the fins protruding from the dragon's head. She made sure not to pull. Probably wouldn't need a lot of force to damage it, and that'd be a really bad thing. Sides, the cooing the dragon kept making seemed to make it look like she was on the right side with her actions.

"Given how small everything is here, you'd probably rip apart these buildings fast as I could. Maybe," she chuckled with the idea, being outdone in the contest of destruction. No one could compete with her. Sylphid didn't seem to say much.

The dragon didn't respond to her, not with words at least. Sylphid just tilted her head and lightly pushed Undyne again. This time at her gut. Had a hard snout, but Undyne knew she had harder abs. If the workout didn't prove that, she didn't know what will.

"Not that I'd take back the wish to be out here, but I do kinda wish you could talk big guy," Undyne admitted, raising a hand to rub it across Sylphid's head. The dragon pushed into the touch, moving its head back forth. Undyne gave it one of her usual grins. The big dragon was just a big scaly dog. Her kind of pet! "Still, long as I'm talking to you means I'm not talking to myself. That's a bonus."

Sylphid raised and lowered her head as Undyne pushed against her, almost felt like a wrestling match, but that wouldn't have been fair. The dragon didn't stand a chance against her. She'd have to make sure the big guy was toughened up before they did anything that awesome.

Though, Undyne was starting to get bored, and hungry. She hadn't eaten all day, didn't even wake up for breakfast. She stopped petting Sylphid as the thought crossed her mind.

"Oh yeah! That human was gonna make me somethin'!" Undyne shouted aloud. How could she forget free food? That was like Sans forgetting to crack a bad joke. That just didn't happen! "I gotta find the dude to get my grub! Hey, I'll catch ya later Sylphid. If you're lucky I might even make up a training plan ta get you into shape." The dragon felt like she shook against her hand. Must have been out of excitement!

No time to lose though. She didn't even know how much time had passed since she started working out. Couldn't have been that long though. That pinkette would've gotten her when those magic classes or whatever were over. So there was still time to catch the human chef, hopefully see what the humans could do when they put their minds to something.

Undyne realized that this might be the first time she got to see what human determination looked like! Sure, it was with cooking, but when could someone be more determined than when they were putting their soul into their food! Papyrus was the greatest example of that. And now that they knew they were cooking for her and not a bunch of punks, maybe they'd really go all out! Eh, hopefully not.

She may have already worked out, but Undyne was nearly running back to the kitchen to get her meal. Oh, she knew it was gonna be great. She could taste whatever the humans were cooking now. Maybe it'd be some extra-buttery pasta with meatballs big enough to choke on. That'd be an awesome challenge, a triple one! First she had to-

The heck was going on over there?

"The hell?" Undyne muttered as she saw a group of those cloaked human kids. She slowed her run to the shed when she saw them all facing away from her, making a loop of some kind. They must have been crowding around something then. Question was what? No better way to find out than to check it out yourself.

Undyne lifted her head a bit to see over the crowd of humans, all circling around something. No telling what from back where she was. Well, she was curious, and Alphys did say curiosity was what helped you learn. Best way to learn more from these humans was to actually watch them.

"Do you have any idea what you have done, commoner?!" Some brat shouted. Undyne could just see a human kid making gestures. Blonde hair and some kinda flower in his hand. Asgore would know what kind it was. Punk didn't look happy though. "You're incompetence has wounded the heart of two noble maidens this day. How will you repay this insult?" Heck was he talking about?

"I-I don't know," some girl spoke. Voice was high enough that it had to be one, but Undyne couldn't see who. Sounded like they were in front of the human yelling, but all the kids crowding around made it hard to see. Undyne pushed them aside. A few fell over, but given how easy it was she doubted they cared too much. "I-I apologize my lord! I… I-I was merely attempting t-to return what was not mine!"

My lord? Ah geez, talk about a suck up. Undyne pushed through enough of the crowd to get a good look at the woman. She had to admit, the woman was pretty on the eyes. Her hair was probably the darkest out of any of the humans she'd seen so far, cut just above her neck. Looked like it was being held in place by some kind of hair piece, like the ones that Undyne had seen Alphys's animes. No small wonder why, given the maid outfit she wore.

It would have been pretty cool to see, if the woman wasn't literally kneeling on the ground head hung down like she was ashamed of something. The hell was happening that that was necessary? Did she hurt someone? Had to be that, given what the blonde was screaming about. That, and the fact that none of the humans were saying much.

"Your lack of thought has sullied the good name of not only my household, but those of two maidens as well!" Say what now? Names? "And now you say you have no way to repay this affront. Tell me, commoner, what do you believe you must give to right this wrong of yours?"

Was this about defending honor or something like that? Oh heck yeah, Undyne could get behind that!

"I… I have nothing to give," the woman replied, looking up at the blonde. Oh… oh crap she was crying. That was all kinds of wrong. What'd she do to that blonde human's honor to get that reaction? "I was merely attempting to perform my duties as my contract states. Never… _Never_ did I intend to insult you Master Guiche."

"It is not just me you should be apologizing to," the blonde spoke coolly. Kinda reminded Undyne of Papyrus a little. Ya know, take away the goofball's kindness, energy, love for others, forgiveness, give him some skin, muscles, hair… okay maybe the comparison was a stretch. "The lovely Momorency and Katie are now owners of scorned heart because of your thoughtless acts. I'll ask again, commoner, what can you give to make this sin of yours right?" Hurt two girls now? Undyne _really_ wanted to know what the woman did. This was better than half the shows Alphys watched with her.

"I didn't know my lord!" The woman shouted now. Oh geez, she was sobbing. Crying was bad enough but… ah man, that was bad. "I assumed the vial was a gift for Master Katie, I-I didn't know it belonged to Master Momorency!" Wait, what? So no one was hurt? Then where was the loss in honor?

"But you should have known!" Guiche, apparently the punk's name, shouted again, pointing that red flower at the woman. She cringed back. Why, was it poisonous? Maybe, the buttercups were. "Now both maidens believe I toyed with their hearts like dolls. Your actions have led to a conflict of love between them!" Wait… what?! That was it?!

A love quarrel? Seriously? Screw it, this was worse than any show Undyne had watched before. According to Alphys, this was where the girl would show up and beat up the dude for his stupidity, or at least the crowd would just scorn him. Why the hell were they all looking at the woman like it was her fault now? Undyne felt a scowl pull at her face, sharp teeth shining in the air. These brats couldn't be serious.

"But since you cannot understand your crime nor have means to repay it, your life will have to do." Wait… _what the hell!?_

No sooner did the thought derail Undyne's train of thought than did the blonde punk of a human wave that flower through the air. Undyne felt the earth under her shift, like it was being pulled or something. Wasn't much, but definitely enough to notice. No small mystery why it was doing that though. All Undyne had to do was look at the blonde brat to see what was happing.

In motion with that flower of is, a pillar of dirt rose into the air. Wasn't huge, but it was big. Big enough to leave a shadow over a good portion of the crowd, not to mention Undyne had to look up to see the top of it. Wasn't thin either. Undyne couldn't see some of the humans on the other side of the crowd. And this brat… this punk, he just made this thing appear with that flower of his?

It bugged Undyne to no end that the boy was doing it. He needed to be dressed better, wear a mask, a top hat maybe, or at least chant something. That's how human magic was supposed to work! Only thing he got right was the flower, but the hell was the point of it? Man, she really had to get used to these humans.

No, wait! Screw that! The woman was still right there! That thing was going to fall! Undyne could not get behind that!

She didn't care that she was out of armor. She really didn't care that she didn't know who these brats were. And she couldn't didn't care that the woman was a human. There was no way she was going to let anybody get crushed to death over something as stupid as a love quarrel!

The punks let out surprised yells as Undyne shoved them away, pushing the light weights into the air and onto their friends. They'd be fine. Her feet dug and sprinted across the ground, pushing Undyne until she was standing just underneath the column of dirt. Her boots dug deep to stop herself, arms raised as the hunk of rock fell down, shadow ominous to the dirt's weight.

She caught it with outstretched arms, holding it above her head.

The rock was heavy, she couldn't deny that. Probably weighed as much as Sylphid. It was thick, solid, and was pushing down on her like the punk controlling it didn't realize she was there. None of that really mattered. It was heavy, but Undyne had dealt with crap _much_ heavier than this.

"Ugh!" Undyne let out a breath of air as she pushed the column of dirt to the side. It hit the ground with a loud thud. It made the same sound as when she jumped over the cliffs in Waterfall. Difference was the column of dirt fell to pieces as soon as it hit the grass. Well that was pathetic.

"You, what do you think you're doing?" Not as pathetic as this punk, though! Undyne turned a sharp eye at the human named Guiche, him pointing that red flower at her like it was a blade. Now that was just sad. "Are refusing to allow me to remove the stain from my name?" The way he was talking was even worse!

"What am I doing?" Undyne asked the brat, feeling her face twist. She didn't know if she should scowl or grin! "I'm keeping ya from killing this human!" She swung her arm back at the dark-haired woman. She gave a quick look, seeing the chick looking up at her with wide eyes. Probably scared of Undyne. That was normal. "From what I heard, you almost killed her over some love quarrel? Seriously!?" He just shrugged at her words. Undyne felt her teeth grind.

"Why would the reason matter?" Guiche asked. He had to be joking, worse than any crack Sans ever made. "She is just a commoner, a Plebian. If she cannot repay her insults, then her life is forfeit. If you truly are a member of your king's Royal Guard, why would her life matter anymore to you?" He wasn't joking was he? Undyne almost felt her teeth crack. She fixed that by yelling some more.

"Are you kidding me!?" She roared at the brat. Oh she roared, screamed even. The brats around him were shirking away in fright. The punk looked pretty damn scared, too. Good. "I'm the _Captain_ of Asgore's Royal Guard, _Guard_! You know what that means you flower-haired punk?!" Undyne let her teeth shine in the sun at the brat. She could get used to the sight of him shaking. "I _protect_ those who can't protect themselves. I _stop_ idiots like _you_!"

She almost threw her hand at the punk, pointing at him with all the savagery her words held. This was not gonna stop here. Oh no, no no no. This punk… this brat… this… pathetic excuse for a human. There was no way Undyne was gonna let this end with just scolding. Deep breaths moved through her teeth, turning the sound into a deep hiss. Undyne knew she could be scary, and thank the Angel she still was to the punks.

"Then you follow an archaic and truly laughable principle," the punk kept talking. He even pushed his hair out of his eyes like some kind of hot shot. He even grinned! "A guard's duty is to protect the nobles and royalty of their land. It is common knowledge that nobles are the ones who keep a country moving forward. To not defend us is the same as treason. What would your king say if he saw you defending a commoner incapable of magic?" This brat was asking for a fight.

"Knowing the big guy, he'd probably give me a hug and thank me." Undyne heard the brats speaking up around her, like she had just threatened someone. The hell was that? That was common sense. She looked back at the dark-haired woman behind her, the one still sitting on the ground, probably in shock. She looked surprised, but Undyne was having a pretty hard time telling if that was cause she'd just been saved or what Undyne was saying. She really hoped it was the former.

"What a foolish king you serve then." Undyne clenched her fists and whipped her head back to the brat. The blonde punk was still grinning, running those smooth fingers through his hair. Undyne wanted to bite them off. "Unable to see the difference between a commoner and a noble. Is that how this… Underland of yours works? Let the weak mingle amongst the betters?" He couldn't even say Underground right!

"What are you even talking about?!" Undyne had to genuinely as the question. This brat was less coherent than the poorly translated sub-documentaries Alphys had. "She's human. You're human. You all are supposed to be a determined pack working together! When the hell did this become about being better?!"

That got him to shut up. Unydne only wished it was for the right reasons. Problem was she knew humans too well thanks to Alphys. The face he was making, the way the punk was shaking with his fists clenched, it was the kind of face the villains in animes made before they lashed out. There was something else she called it, a trope maybe. That didn't matter right now.

"You… You speak… blasphemy!"

The blonde punk finally shouted out. Shouted after he stopped shaking like a twig caught in a waterfall. He turned a mean scowl at Undyne, or at least what she guessed was supposed to be one. It was as pathetic as the brat himself.

"The same commoners?! They are less than us nobles! Replaceable things that need to be taught respect! If they cannot learn from their mistakes, then why keep them." He swung his flower to the side with his words, like he was trying to cut at Undyne with it. But she didn't do anything. She really couldn't.

Undyne lost her snarl. It fell off her face with the shock.

He _really_ couldn't be serious. He just… there was no way this kid was human. Gerson told her all the time how strong humans were, strong because they could band together and do things that monsters couldn't even manage. They turned tides with their determination, making a single warrior as strong as an army. Their strength was in their numbers, in their honor, their freaking determination! So… what the hell was this kid saying?

Undyne looked around herself. Alphys's research told her that this was the point where the rest of these punks would wise up. When the villain said something stupid, something this blatantly wrong, the rest of the crowd would turn against him, right? So then, why did they all look so accepting? Why in Asgore's good name did they all look angry… at her? Where these kids even human? Maybe… maybe she was just looking at the wrong crowd.

She turned around, looking at the woman just behind her, the one she'd kept that slab of dirt form falling on. There were still tears down her face, looking at Undyne. Her eyes were wide, her lips were quivering, but she wasn't running away. She looked like the kids from Snowdin. A little hurt, really small, but filled with hope.

The woman was looking up at Undyne, hands grabbing at the grass until it was ripped out of the ground. She wasn't shaking, but she sure as hell wasn't ready to get up and walk away. Actually, just about everything about her was a bunch of contradictions. But there was one that Undyne really couldn't stop noticing. This dark-haired human wasn't angry at her.

No, she looked hopeful.

If that small tear-stained smile said anything, it she was that she was looking at Undyne for an entirely different reason than the brats around them. She let out a breath of air, slowly putting a hand on the woman's head. The woman blinked at Undyne put her hand on the hair, feeling the mop of a head. But she didn't jump away, didn't even look scared like most people did. The woman was still looking at her, just like the monsters used to do. Undyne wouldn't let that hope go to waste.

"Brat," Undyne growled out, speaking over her shoulder as she put on a feral grin. She could look scary, but she wanted to be terrifying. "I'm seriously startin' to reconsider if it's worth keeping you humans alive." Undyne had seen enough anime to know that would get the crowd talking.

"W-What?" The punk stumbled. Pathetic, just like that flower of his. Probably wasn't even poisonous. "Are you threatening me, monster? Are you declaring yourself an enemy to your betters?" Undyne didn't have to force the laugh that brought out of her chest.

"Betters? Ha!" Undyne let out one last bark of laughter. "I can't think of one thing you're better than! You're dumb as dirt, ugly as rocks, and thick as stone!" He was getting angry, good. Great! "Only reason I got for not putting you six-feet further under right now is a promise I made to my king! Weren't for him…"

Undyne drew her thumb over her neck, slowly.

"I'd have no trouble ending you." The angry whispers of the crowd turned hush. Alphys's research was spot on, and Undyne did all of that without any prep! She really was getting better at these speeches. The punk was even shaking! This was too good! But she knew just how to make it better. Undyne turned back towards the dark-haired human, giving her a winning smile. The woman blinked back up, but didn't shy away. Hopefully that meant she wasn't scared, cause Unydne needed her help.

"Asgore told me humans were strong cause they protected one another," Undyne spoke up, looking at the woman. She blinked, but didn't do much more. Must have been waiting for her to finish. "I wanted to be strong too, so I swore I'd protect everyone's hope and dreams. Every monster that couldn't do it themselves. Didn't matter who they were. Everyone's got a dream they hope'll come true. If I defend them all, then I can't be beaten."

Undyne extended her hand towards the maid, holding it out for her to take. She didn't look scared, still didn't that is, but she wasn't grabbing it. Must have been the brats around her that was putting the human on edge. Undyne had to think fast with her words. A good speech couldn't take too long.

"But if I'm out, then the rest of the monsters are, too. And if they're out, then half the dreams are already there." She knew that was true. She just needed that bald human to tell her where they were. "Asgore warned me about how humans could be, how strong you guys were cause of your numbers and determination to protect one another. But now all I see are a bunch of stuck-up brats with heads too high in the air ta see where you stand!" Yeah, that'd get them!

The murmuring of the crowd was growing, so that had to be a good thing. But as they talked, Undyne though. Really, she had to think as the woman finally took her hand. She was soft, really soft, almost like a warm pillow. Maybe when Undyne met up with Alphys again, she could ask her to make that, a pillow that stayed warm all night. That'd be a great way to sleep.

It felt good to hold, right even. The woman somehow felt strong even though she felt fragile. That was something Undyne could only grin at, wide enough until the edges of her teeth showed. She gave the human a light bounce on her arm. The woman still didn't shy away.

This was being drastic, some part of Undyne knew that. But just seeing how these human punks were acting… maybe drastic was the way to go. It looked like it was the only option.

"You're all human, and that's supposed to mean you stick together," Undyne kept talking as she lifted the woman to her feet. She was really light. Heck, Papyrus probably weighed more, and he was just bones. Least he worked out. "But ya know what?"

She didn't say anything, nothing Undyne could understand anyway. The human didn't have much to say when Undyne lifted her up and put her on her shoulder. Undyne slammed her bare fist to her thin-clothed chest.

"If you won't protect the humans who can't fight, then I guess I will!"

The crowd of brats lit up with noise. Hard to tell with how loud it was if they were cheering or jeering. Undyne could roll with either. Cheers? Sweet, she had just proven that she'd studied Alphys's anime long enough to know how the humans thought. Jeers? They were human, so who cared!? Well, almost all of them.

Undyne looked up at the maid sitting on her shoulder, held up by the 'seat' Undyne made with a flex of her arm. The dark-haired human was holding onto Undyne's fist and the back of her head, probably trying to keep her balance. She was really weak though, light as a feather, too. Shame, Undyne figured with how strong Gerson made some of the humans that they'd at least be heavier than the boulders she'd thrown upstream in Waterfall. Eh, made carrying them easier. Besides, this human was blushing.

"You really are a fool, are you not?" Guiche spoke up, voice someone making the rest of the brats quiet down. Whatever this punk had to say, it had better be good. Undyne gave him her best scowl as he spoke. She doubted he'd be able to speak straight with her teeth reflecting the sun. "You… You truly believe that commoners are worth protecting? That they are some source of strength? Ha!"

His quick bark of laughter was about as threatening as Lesser Dog's tail. Bout as loud as the little guy's bark come to think of it. Still, got the rest of the brats to chuckle. For not the first time, Undyne was seriously beginning to reconsider Asgore's peace-with-humans plan. They didn't seem too worth it.

"They are replaceable, their only use being their numbers," the punk just kept talking. "Using your rather _poor_ description of me, they know less than a single volume's worth of text, have to borrow land from their betters in order to stand, and they cannot even be grateful for the generosity they are given. Like the maid there," Undyne looked at the woman. Not out of curiosity, oh hell no, just because she was starting to shake again. "She should have known better than insult my pride with her worthless apology and then she could not even bring forth a suitable reason for me to forgive her."

The dark-haired human didn't say anything. She just hunched over on Undyne's arm, looking like she wanted to crawl back on the ground. The hell was going on? Where was her determination? Where was her strength?

"Hey," Undyne spoke up to her. The woman looked down at her, blinking away what had to be more tears. If the kids in Snowdin taught Undyne anything, between their praise and borderline stalking, it was how to handle this. "What's yer name? I never got it."

"S-Siesta," she spoke after a stumble. Didn't sound like it was out of fear. Undyne gave her a bright grin. Good thing it was a nice day outside. Hopefully the sun did her a few favors. Asgore did say the sun made some women glow.

"Siesta, name's Undyne," she spoke to the maid. "Like I told the brat, I'm the Captain of Asgore's Royal Guard, the King of the Underground! Probably don't know much 'bout me, but there is one thing you should know." The punks were talking around her again.

"Um, w-what's that?" She sounded really curious, just like Monster Kid the first time Undyne met him. Perfect! Now all Undyne had to do was strike the pose all the heroes were supposed to do!

"When I say I'm gonna do something, I do it." Undyne lifted and dropped her leg. She wasn't wearing her armor, unfortunately, but she that didn't mean she'd mess this up! She still shook the ground like she was wearing it. She pointed her free hand at Guiche, the brattiest punk she'd met so far. "And I'm gonna keep you and everyone else safe from punks like him."

"Is that a challenge?" The brat asked, looking down Undyne's arm with mockery in his eyes. Had to be that, given how he was hiding half his face with his hand, like some kind of cheap mask. "Do you truly believe you have a chance against me, a noble of such heritage as my own?"

"Punk, please tell me you're asking for a fight." Undyne didn't even try to hide her glee.

She could feel her eye sharpen to a point as she stared at Guiche, at the one human so far who looked to be undeniably more stuck up than the pinkette that brought her here. Her grin was wider than ever before, almost cracking the scales of her face as she stared the boy down. His hand shook over his face, probably seeing just how doomed he was. She was almost willing to beg for a fight.

"I… I am," he began. "But only so long as we are agreed on the terms. If you truly are close to a king, it would be deplorable of us to risk war over a disagreement." Was he trying to cover his bases? Oh, he was not getting out of this that easily.

"Don't you worry," Undyne spoke calmly, calm as she could through a grin that nearly cracked her scales. "Long as you understand what you're getting into, I now Asgore'll trust me to pick my fights. Not gonna back out are you?" He'd better not. With all the talk this punk had, he'd better show how determined he was.

"Hardly," he spoke confidently. That was good. Meant he wouldn't bow down and cry, at least not immediately. No promises once the fight started. "As I said, I only wish to prevent any clash of our respective kingdoms. According to your master, both Professor Colbert and our esteemed Headmaster acknowledge the likely existence of your race. It would be in poor taste for me to act against their wishes." The hell was he talking about?

Master probably meant that pinkette, not that Undyne would ever call her that. But asking if monsters were real? Was he blind? She was right there! What did she look like some kind of scaly human?! This punk was digging a grave deeper than The Core!

"Where're we doing this?" Undyne asked through grit teeth, smile subdued but far from gone. She flexed the arm the woman was still sitting on. Felt like she was carrying the same warm pillow on her shoulder. Undyne didn't mind in the slightest. "I can't wait ta beat your sorry face into the ground."

"The Vestrilli Court, say in half-an-hour's time," Guiche spoke pretty quickly. Must have thought it out or something. Not that it mattered. "That'll allow for any preparations you may need. It would be irredeemable of me to fight an unprepared opponent." He was so backwards he might as well have been talking out of a mirror.

"I'm there!" Undyne declared, slamming her fist against her chest once again. A few of brats jerked like it was a loud sound, the wusses. "You better be too, punk." The blonde brat didn't say anything more, at least not to her face. He turned away from her, waving that damn flower in the air like it was some kind of victory sign.

"A noble's word is worth more than gold, _familiar_ ," he spoke as he walked into the crowd. "Let's hope your promises are worth as much." Undyne really wanted to skewer the punk. Just throw a spear at him, let it run right through the brat's body. Wouldn't be that hard, given how the kid was an easier target than the Underground's cavernous walls.

But no, this was an honorary duel. Alphys's shows talked all the time about how important honor was. The punks that broke the honor were the ones who ended up losing in the end. No way was she going to be the one to mess that up. Asgore'd be pretty pissed if she ruined relations like that, especially after all his teary eyed peace-is-the-option talks he gave her.

The crowd started to move away, chunks of the brats splitting up and moving around the yard like they had places to be. Undyne doubted it. More like they were afraid to stay around her if the punk Guiche was gone. The really were a bunch of wusses. Hopefully they had some bite for their bark. Still, there was one human she could talk to at least.

Undyne gave a quick pop of her shoulder, lifting the dark-haired woman into the air. She gave a small 'eep' of surprise, but stopped when Undyne caught her around the waist. Wasn't hard for her to set Siesta on the ground after that. That was the human's name, Siesta. Not a bad name, but a bit weird. Compared to everything else, that was easy to get used to.

When the maid was back on the ground, her head hung a little too low for Undyne's taste. The fingers of her gloves ran over her face carefully, probably trying to wipe away the tears. Undyne clicked her tongue. The human was probably trying to keep her makeup from smearing or something.

"Hey," she spoke up, earning Siesta's immediate attention. "Hold still a second," Undyne lifted her hand to the human's face, pushing her hand out of the way. The maid flinched, but Undyne didn't stop. If there was anything she learned from Bratty and Catty, it was how much a girl loved her makeup. Guess it was the same for humans, too.

Her webbed hands drew and flicked the few lingering tears off the human's face. Given how smooth her skin was, it was pretty easy to do. Not as easy as the pushups earlier, but not bad. Siesta was holding pretty still for her, too. She was like some kind of warm pillow rock. Soft and warm to the touch, but hard enough to not just give in. Yeah, that made perfect sense.

"There, that's better." Undyne knew it was better, but she really didn't have much an opinion of how a human should look. There were still a few dark mark under the human's eyes, bit of water stubbornly holding onto the skin around the cheeks, but that was about it. She said better, not good. Siesta was blushing though, that much Undyne could tell. Made Undyne draw a sharper grin. "You alright?"

"Y-Yes, I'm fine, I'm… I'm amazed," Siesta spoke up. She sounded breathless for a moment, but she caught herself. That was weird. Undyne was pretty sure she was the one who did all the talking. "I… I thank you profusely Undyne for your kindness to me. It is more than I ever believed to be freely given."

The maid took a step back to give a low bow, like Undyne was a queen or something. Now it was the monster's turn to feel out of place. Praise and adoration, yeah that was normal. Cool chants and autographs, all the same. Bowing? Nope, that was Asgore's place, and Undyne knew he hated that stuff.

"But I-I must you insist you not endanger yourself for my sake." Undyne shook her head at the words. Did she mishear the human? Must have. "Master Guiche de Gramont is a noble capable of magic befitting his year. His earth magic… what you stopped… that was not the limit to his abilities." Nope, didn't make a mistake. The hell, even the humans that weren't noble weren't determined!

"Boy I sure hope not, or else the fight's gonna be a _real_ bore," Undyne scratched the back of head as she spoke. Had to wonder what else the punk could do but make a few big pillars. Probably nothing she couldn't take. "Sides, you mind telling me what the big deal was? All I got was some bull lover's quarrel." The human was still as stone for a second, something Undyne was becoming increasingly used to. Geeze, good thing they weren't soldiers. They wouldn't last a day on the job with how often their gobs were open.

"O-Oh, um," the maid stumbled over her words, looking down at the ground again. Undyne had to hold back a sigh. This human really was something else. "I-I found a bottle on the ground earlier, near the laundry bath." Laundry bath? That was fun use of words. "A label on it said it was for Mister Katie, f-from Master Guiche. I returned it to him, as is proper, but… b-but Master Montmorency was with him…" Oh, she had to be kidding Undyne.

"So if I got that straight, the prick I just told off was two-timing, you gave him back the proof of it, and he tried to off you for it?" Siesta nodded her head slowly, dark hair bobbing lightly with the action.

"Also… b-before you came, Master Montmorency, um, slapped him. Harshly." Undyne felt like slapping something herself. This whole thing was one big joke, wasn't it!? Half-an-hour? Screw that! She should have just said right here and now!

"Kay, that's stupid," Undyne spoke as honestly as she ever did, feeling all her excitement for the fight withering at the idea. This wasn't the grand first battle she was expecting with humans. "That's like really dumb. That's… please tell me you're joking."

"No. I-I apologize for insulting you," Siesta spoke back. She went to bow again, but Undyne put a hand to her shoulder, stopping her. She pinched the bridge of her nose, focusing on something else. Hard to ignore the sun, she put her mind to that. Helped her forget for a moment she wasn't even fighting for someone's honor, just some brat's misplaced since of pride.

"No, not you. I'm more pissed off at that brat than anything else." Given how close they were, it was really hard for Undyne to miss the look of shock the human wore for a second. That was weird, she didn't do anything different, did she? Whatever. "I'm gonna go get my armor back on. Can ya take me to that garden area when it's time? I'm not riskin' missing the fight, no matter how pathetic it sounds."

"O-Of course!" the dark-haired human spoke up loudly. Well that was good. Looked like the pinkette wasn't the only human who could talk louder than a whisper. "A-And, um…" the maid didn't say anything for a second.

Undyne could tell give how much her chest puffed out shew as taking a deep breath of air. Given how great the stuff was, she couldn't find a reason to blame the woman. She slept outside last night just to get the most of it.

"Thank you Undyne, thank you… very much for saving my life." She looked right at Undyne as she said the words, probably the first words she said to her without tripping over herself. It made Undyne grin back down at her.

"No problem, Siesta," she returned. Asgore did tell her that saying someone's name was the fastest way to remember it. "Believe me when I say I'd do it again." She gave a quick beat of her chest, just showing how ready she was to do it.

Leaving the maid behind her, Undyne marched back to the stone building from before. Her armor was in there somewhere. Had to get that before she turned the punk Guiche into a stain on the ground.

Undyne knew this was going to be easy.

* * *

Louise knew this wasn't going to be easy.

"So the servants are afraid of her," Louise restated what she was told. A simple act her father had taught her cemented knowledge. Ignorance was as blissful as idiocrasy. "Isn't that an acceptable thing? Why is that so different than them fearing a noble's magic?"

"The difference, Ms. Vallière, is the respect they have for nobles," Headmaster Osmond explained. He had his hands folded in front of him. Strangely, Louise couldn't see his mouse familiar. "The servants work for us and in return they are protected and given fair compensation for their efforts. When it comes to Undyne, they are terrified of her presence alone."

"She is my familiar," Louise began stating her own fact. "How is it any different than the others? Have there been complaints regarding Tabitha's dragon?" She put her hands to her hips. Her annoyance was there, without a doubt, but the Headmaster was not to be disrespected. He was doing his part as leader of the Academy.

"No, because the dragon is a beast," Osmond began, pointing his hand as Louise imagined he would giving a lecture. "A beast that is well tamed and listens to commands. It does not interfere with the servants during their work nor does it intrude where it is not wanted." Louise fought down a groan.

"This is because I can't control my familiar, isn't it?" She asked pointedly. "I apologize for my inability to do so, but… it is not completely my fault." She knew it couldn't be. Undyne had been the very definition of brash, crude, and thick since she had been summoned yesterday. That had hardly changed.

"You misunderstand, Ms. Vallière," Osmond continued on. "It is the very fact that the other familiars _are_ beasts that they need no special conditioning." Louise raised a brow at his words. "Your familiar is special, unique, one that I have never seen before."

Louise allowed a grateful smile to pull at her lips. Her hands moved from her hips to cross her arms and settled below her chest. It was hard to not think proudly of herself when the Headmaster of the Magic Academy was giving her such praise.

"Undyne's ability to reason and speak aside, she comes from a kingdom that Professor Colbert is still searching for. One that, at the current moment, is the only explanation for your familiar's appearance at all." He stopped there, oddly. Louise remained silent as the Headmaster slowly began to nod his head, lips hidden by his hands. He must have been deep in thought.

"Commoners should be used to serving foreign dignitaries," Louise noted in the Headmaster's silence. If she could push this conversation further, she would. "Many nobles from Germania to Albion have come here for meetings with her highness before. Why is my familiar such an exception?"

"They simply don't know how to interact with her pan-er… mannerisms." What was that stumble? Louise shook her head from thought. The Headmaster was a busy man, so he was likely just tired. "Nobles and royalty, they are trained to act respectfully. For someone like Undyne? She is a familiar that can speak. She is unmistakably not human, but she is proud to announce her position so directly beneath a king."

"Then what is the problem?" Louise asked again. This conversation seemed very circular to her. Even the Headmaster was looking further and further distracted as the conversation went on. His gaze was even drifting around the room as they spoke. "If she announces her position than they should fall in line like any proper Plebian. What is the issue?"

"The difficulty is how differently Undyne acts. Take this morning for example," the Headmaster began. Lifting one of his hands into the air before he started to speak again. "Following waking up outside by the servant's kitchen, she proceeded to storm in side, strip herself of her armor, and attempt to make her own dish. In the flurry of her actions, she broke several dishes, _destroyed_ the servant's entrance, and… there was something else…"

"She also made the head chef cry by grinning at him before thanking him with a slap on the back. The blow dislocated his shoulder." Louise turned to see Ms. Longueville. In honestly, she had forgotten the secretary was there. That showed the woman's training in being a proper servant. "It was reset with a small amount of aid from a water mage, the servants are still unsure why he was struck in the first place."

"Given the damage my familiar did before, I would have to assume it was not intentional." She really wasn't sure, but Louise would not allow blame to fall on her familiar. She was the first true sign of her magical capabilities. Fault in it was simply unacceptable. "She did, and I apologize again for this, damage a great deal of your office yesterday."

"Ah, yes," the Headmaster nodded, looking about the room. It was put back together very nicely. Only a few extra walls in place of the glass that was not replaced. Stone was easy to control, a line-class earth mage able to manipulate it. Glass was difficult, needing specialties to work. "I though the same, but given her rather foreign nature, I could not be sure."

"If it's a matter with her manners, I will educate her properly. It is a master's job to teach their familiar." Louise was determined to do such. She was expecting to have to teach an uneducated animal where to sleep and how to carry her luggage. Undyne made the communication barrier all the easier to cross. All she need was the right level of discipline to get through to the monster.

"That is one part of it, yes, but like I said earlier, there are special circumstances regarding Undyne," the Headmaster spoke as he start to nod again. Louise was quick to wonder if he was about to fall over, given the length at which he was leaning. He caught himself though, looking a bit sheepish. Louise gave him a patient smile to show there was no fault on his part. Nobles rarely were in the wrong. "I am sure, given our conversation yesterday, that she will not be against gaining good terms with the servants. My concern is that her sense of… comradery may be different from our own. Not only that, but I am sure you are aware that treating her as a normal familiar is no longer acceptable." Louise felt herself bit her tongue to control herself.

"Yes… I am… aware." She was very much aware. It was easily the most unfair part of her summons. She had done everything right, gained everything she wanted and more in the familiar, but at the expense of not being able to even properly call the monster what she was in public. "But we agreed this would be beneficial in the long run, when we find Undyne's people."

"Yes, the other monsters," Ms. Longueville spoke up again. Louise turned to see her moving papers across a small board she was holding. "No reports have been found thus far and Professor Colbert has reported little success on mountains matching the descripting Undyne gave. At this time, the only proof we have of their existence is Undyne's word."

" _And_ her existence," Louise corrected. Ms. Longueville was not the Headmaster. She wasn't even a professor. "Unless you know a more credible reason for what Undyne is or where she comes from?" Louie would not have Undyne's credibility questioned. To have that be stained would be a mark on her own honor. That was simply unacceptable.

"Now now, no one is saying they don't exist, Ms. Vallière," the Headmaster interjected. "It is simply the state of things. I wanted you to be aware of Undyne's standing around the commoners as well as any updates to her people. After all, we did agree that you would be an Ambassador of Tristian should we make contact." It would take much longer than a single night for Louise to forget that.

"Of course," she spoke calmly, the pride she was destined for in the future calming her nerves. "And I am doing my utmost to retain a positive relationship with Undyne at this time. It is merely… difficult to do so," Louise chose her words carefully. She could not risk looking undignified before the Headmaster, not without some far greater undignified party…

"And I am thankful for your determination to do so, Louise." She looked up at the Headmaster as he spoke her name. He had a kind smile through his gray beard, gentle and soft. "No one believes it is easy, changing your actions to match what you see. You are not caring for a wolf of the wild, but a Captain of the Guard. Undyne isn't a commoner from the streets, but an apparently very strong and capable warrior. To summarize it all, she is a self-proclaimed monster from a kingdom named Underground. Your task is anything but simple." Louise felt her cheeks warm at the words.

That was… one of the kindest things anyone had ever said to her. A genuine understanding of her, a… compliment for her actions. And it was only a single day! If this were to keep up… no, she would keep it up. She would improve on herself as well. The Rule of Steel demanded each trial be greater than the next, or else you gained nothing through your tests.

"Thank you, Headmaster," Louise replied respectfully, bowing her head towards him. "I will be sure to do as you have asked. Do we have more to talk about or may I go find… Undyne now." The Headmaster raised his hand at her, smiling kindly.

"You're excused, Ms. Vallière. I will be sure to call you next time the situation calls for it." You bow once more and make your way from the room. You pass by Ms. Longueville, the woman giving you a look before making her way closer to the Headmaster. She was his secretary, so any conversations they had were not for Louise to hear.

"Headmaster," she began to speak as Louise moved from the room, shutting the doors behind her. "I wish to speak about your _familiar's_ actions during the meeting…" The doors shut to silence the words. It was for the best.

Louise made her way down the stairs of the tower in silence, mind focused on the familiar she had to care for. Undyne was probably still doing whatever insane activity involved lifting familiars and running the length of the academy. If not that, then perhaps she was sleeping on the ground again. As inane as both acts were, especially to any member of a royal court, it did allow Louise a level of predictability in her familiar.

That was good. If she could not command Unydne to do as she was told, then at least she could goade her through what she enjoyed. Avoiding nobles by staying outside, showing her strength by working out, small acts so far, but doubtlessly worth remembering. But still, Louise knew their relationship was still in its infancy.

She was the master to a Captain of some kingdom's Royal Guard. She had to be respectful, but controlled, strong, but still flexible. The headmaster was right, of course, she really was balancing her relationship with Undyne on a knife's edge. At least the Rule of Steel would guide her. Her strength would be her sword and shied. Her will was her armor. Together, she was unstoppable.

When Louise walked outside, the first thing she saw was Undyne donned in her black armor. That was… curious.

"Undyne," she called to the monster, earning the yellow gaze of the fish. She had that grin on, her near-feral appearance. Something happened. "I thought you found the armor too heavy for constant wear?"

"Oh, believe me, I do," her familiar spoke, looking herself over. She pulled at her long red hair with one of her dark gauntlets. "But if there's ever a good time ta wear it, now's it." That sentence did not sit well with Louise, not in the slightest.

"What… does that mean?" She asked carefully. She had only just left her meeting with the headmaster. She could not resort to labeling Undyne. "Is this another part of that… regiment you were performing earlier?"

"Nope, done with that," Undyne returned, grinning still. "But seein' as I'm about to go whoop some brat's butt, I gotta wear my armor! Wouldn't be honorable if I showed up wearing my sweat stained jeans. Still actually wearin' them, but you get the point." Louise most certainly did not. She was too caught up on the first part to the story.

"You are going… to fight," she spoke carefully. Her teeth were starting to grind, but she had to remain composed, especially right now. Some servant had probably just assumed Undyne was a normal familiar and spoke improperly to her. Discipline was of course necessary, but not with Undyne's ludicrous strength. "May I ask the name of the servant?"

"So you already know about it, huh?" Undyne asked as she crossed her gauntlets over her chest. The sound of scratching steel didn't seem to bother her. "Name was Siesta, some human with dark hair cut below the neck. Pretty sure she was a maid, given how she was dressed and all." A maid? That seemed hardly worth the time of a Royal Guard member. Most have been a deep misunderstanding. Louise could fix this.

"I see," she nodded her head slowly. "But you don't need to fight her over whatever she said. She was in the wrong for insulting or speaking ill of you in any way. I can deal with her myself." It was her place as the master to deal with such acts. By the sneer Undyne's smile had twisted into, showing her razor teeth all the way to the gums, it was clear she thought differently.

"Her? You'd wanna get mad at her, too?" Why was that so surprising to the monster? Any insult a Plebian raised against a noble was one shared. Undyne may not have been a noble, but her rank was far above any servants.

"Of course," Louise returned. "She wronged you and therefore has wronged me. As a servant, this Siesta should know better than to insult any of her Lords' words or actions. When I find her, I'll personally see to it that-"

"Don't bother," Undyne spoke up, extremely rudely. Louise had to stifle a shocked look. She did so by focusing a glare at the blue familiar that had so brazenly cut her off, with a wave of her gauntlet no less. "She's comin' now." Oh was that it? Still, Undyne could have been more polite, especially to her master.

She turned her head to see a maid approaching them, lifting the hem of her dress to hurry herself a bit faster. It was with great disdain that Louise saw she had a chest to rival the Germanian cow. At least she could properly tell off this servant with good reason.

"You," Louise spoke up as the servant drew near. Said girl stopped the moment she was addressed. Good, that showed she was well-trained. "I have been told that you insulted my… associate Undyne. Tell me why that is?"

"Uh… I-I beg your pardon master, but I don't understand." Louise flew a lock of her pink hair from her gaze. So much for well trained. She apparently was dense to even her own actions. A pity she didn't have her riding crop with her. Words would have to do for now.

"And that is precisely the problem, servant," Louise spoke with a quick nod of her head. The girl stepped backed as if jabbed. Perfect. "You should be aware of the consequences for your actions, no different than anybody else. Be thankful that I am merely scolding you for your trespass over allowing Undyne to duel you as she so wishes." She had much more to say, so much more, but she was stopped by a heavy gauntlet setting itself on her shoulder. She was so lucky she didn't collapse under its weight.

"Hate ta break it to you punk, but I'm not gonna fight Siesta," Undyne spoke. It was almost impossible for Louise to turn to see her, what with the ridiculous weight on her. She could just imagine her familiar grinning. "I'm takin' on the brat that thought it'd be okay ta try and kill her." What now? Louise felt her eyes widen as she stared forward at the servant, the only one she could properly look at. Said Plebian refused to meet her gaze.

"What in the Founder's name are you talking about?!" She yelled over her shoulder. Civility be damned. If she was being toyed by her own familiar, she would not stand for it. "Who tried to kill a servant on the grounds?!"

"Like I said, some blonde-haired brat. Pretty sure his name was Guiche or somethin' lame like that." Louise felt her fury turn into a smolder. It sat that for a moment, dampened by the heavy gauntlet Undyne had resting on her shoulder. But when it returned, it came back with a roar.

"I leave you alone for a few hours and now you are challenging nobles to duels!?" Louise made no attempt to quiet her voice. If ever there was a time to yell, now was it. "That is absurd! Ridiculous! Inane! Stupid!"

"Hey! There's nothin' stupid about trying to protect others!" Undyne yelled at her now, spinning her around with the gauntlet on her shoulder. Louise twirled like a top, stopping only when her back hit the ground, some number-in-the-dozens of spins later. When her eyes righted themselves in their sockets, she was stuck looking up at Undyne. Louise had to admit, the armor was unnerving. "Just in case you're as thick as that blonde brat, I'm a member of the Royal _Guard!_ That means that if protect others! Siesta over there almost got turned into a pancake, the bratty human thought that that was swell, so I'm gonna show him a bad time!"

Louise sat up on the ground, putting her humiliating decent to it aside. She looked at the maid, Siesta if Undyne was correct. She still wouldn't meet their gaze. Little surprise why, given her stature against Louise's own. But if what Undyne was saying was true, Guiche had almost killed her. The ludicrousness of the act aside, Undyne had saved her.

"I am glad you saved her," Louise spoke as she moved to stand. The Rule of Steel demanded an honest hand to hone itself. "I truly am. No matter what Guiche may have said, to kill a servant so senselessly is beyond ridiculous."

"Glad to hear you're not as dense as that blonde." Louise bit her lip as Undyne gave her that usual harsh grin. She wondered if any part of it was friendly. She quickly deemed that very little of it likely was. Well neither was she!

"But to challenge a noble for something as petty as a servant's life is stupidity at its finest!" She shouted at Undyne when she stood to her tallest again. It still barely reached the familiar's chest. "Even if you are a member of the guard, Guiche is a noble! He can cast magic that will easily crush you, let alone what he may do to simply toy with you!"

"The punk couldn't hurt me when he dropped that first column of dirt, pretty much doubt the second is gonna be any different." She had to joking. Louise was decidedly finding her familiar far more insane than she would have liked to believe. "Sides, no way in hell am I gonna back out of a fight, especially one like this!" She slammed her fist against her chest plate. With the boom of sound it made, Louise was surprised it wasn't dented. Still had to cover her ears.

"And you think you stand a chance against his magic because of some off-hand spell you survived?!" Louise shouted back. Be damned if the Rule of Steel allowed for weakness. "And a duel will shatter any chance of peace between our kingdoms! Have you forgotten this already you… you…" She couldn't think of a proper enough word for this familiar's stupidity. Simply dumb wasn't nearly enough.

"If there was one thing the brat made a big deal about, it was that this was gonna make sure there'd be no bad juice when Asgore shows up." Undyne turned away from Louise as she spoke. It was only after she started walking again that Louise realized she had to follow. Given what Undyne had shown, her chances of stopping the familiar by force were pretty damn small. She wouldn't risk another spell, especially not if it was a failure… "Sides, Siesta was about to show me where this court was. Ain't that right?"

Louise looked at the servant, who was decidedly caught between a rock and a hard place. The Plebian's gaze shifted back and forth between Louise and Undyne, deciding which of the two to look at. The answer was obvious, but given Louise's luck with those around her, it made sense the servant would be as dense as her familiar.

"I-I was, yes," she spoke with a low bow. Louise grit her teeth as she balled her hands into tiny fists. Perhaps Guiche had the right idea of ridding the world of this stupid servant. "But with Master Vallière here, do you still need my help?" Looking for an out? Perhaps she was merely stupid in all the wrong areas.

"No, you'll accompany us," Louise interjected, earning the maid's immediate attention. Louise didn't give her eye-contact for long. She swerved her head quickly towards Undyne. "And you, I'll allow you to duel Guiche, but only so long as you are aware of how out of your depth you are. You can blame no one but yourself for whatever injuries may befall you. Recognize I am taking a risk merely for _allowing_ this fight to continue." Louise walked past the armored familiar with her words, held high and chest out. She would remain dignified no matter the circumstance. The pounding of steel behind her let her know that Undyne was following. She could assume the Plebian was doing the same.

"I'd love ta see you try and stop it!" Undyne just about shouted back at her. What was with her familiar?! Did the idea of a battle excite her? Perhaps that was the consequence of her ridiculous strength. "But hey, at least now you'll get to see one of your punk friends gettin' beat up by a monster. That's gotta be a first!" She nearly laughed at the words! Perhaps she was, it was impossible for Louise to distinguish the sound her familiar made.

"Guiche is no friend to me," Louise returned. Dishonesty made Steel weak, so too did flaws or misunderstandings. "He is merely a classmate that I hold to low standards. That is the only way I am able to tolerate his attitude."

"Eh, guess that's a good thing," Undyne admitted. "Gotta admit it'd be kinda awkward ta have to watch a friend get beat up. Guess that's how this all got started, isn't it?" That couldn't have been directed at Louise. Hopefully not at least. It sounded far too obscure for her to understand.

She risked a look over her shoulder, unsurprised to see the Plebian following behind Undyne. However, Undyne was also looking at the maid, a wide-grin across her face. Turned side-ways it was clear that her razor sharp teeth really did nearly split her face. A monster indeed. And yet, Siesta was not looking away. How curious.

The headmaster did say that many of the servants were afraid of Undyne, both in her mannerisms and natural appearance. If this Siesta was one of the proper Plebians to pay her no different respect, then it was for the best to keep her around. In the very least it would make for less awkward times in the future… hopefully.

"We're here," she announced over shoulder. It was honestly hardly needed. By the crowd of students that had now gathered around the courtyard, it was hard to mistake the scene as anything else but the gathering for a fight. "Remember to behave yourself Undyne."

"Hey, cut me some slack pinkette." Pinkette? Was that the name her familiar had come to call her? Louise's only solace in that moment was that it appeared none of her classmates heard the ludicrous name. "I'm just here ta teach a punk a lesson. Anything else is a bonus."

Louise felt a slow groan rise from her throat as Undyne marched past her. The quakes her boot made in the ground was more of an announcement of her arrival than any court could have produced. Some of the nobles spoke up as Undyne approached, the Royal Guard Captain towering over them in her dark armor. A part of Louise found herself wishing she was wearing her dark helmet. Then again, with her blue scales and razor teeth, she may be more intimidating outside of it.

"Undyne, familiar of Louise the Zero." Even in a fight that hardly involved her, Guiche couldn't help but insult her name. Her fellow students snickered at the imposed title, one she had proven inaccurate just yesterday! Undyne gave her a look over her shoulder. Louise refused to meet her gaze. She would not be dragged further into this farce. "I am a glad to see you're honorable enough to attend our duel."

"I wouldn't miss this if my arm was cut off," Undyne replied morbidly. Louise felt like rolling her eyes as the rest of the students gave a confused murmur. Perhaps it was pitiful that she was already becoming acceptant of her familiar's odd nature. "I'm just glad you showed up. Be a shame if I came here ready to fight and you'd tucked tail and left. You got determination, least a little."

"Hmph," Guiche responded simply, waving his cursed flower about his face. It was the act of a womanizer who had no women. Louise saw through it as easily as she did his bravado. "As we duel, you may refer to me as Guiche the Bronze, first son to a famed general of Tristain." Louise knew what was coming next. All of the other students did.

Guiche waved his rose wand, letting the petals detached and flutter to the ground. He held that obnoxious pose as the petal fell, making him looking like some kind of statue. If only he were as quiet as one. At least he didn't speak as the petal finally landed on the grass.

A small column of light billowed from the petal, unfolding as Guiche's magic began to work. Using the earth the petal fell to, materials were gathered and constructed, layers made, overturned, and hardened. Shapes began to form in the light, colored like his runic name, bronze. Once one shape came into form, the rest quickly followed suit. A head, two arms, a torso, then the remains the of the bronze construct, long spear in its fake hand.

"Magnificent, is it not?" Louise felt a groan roll from her throat as her classmate gave himself praise. "My Bronze Valkyrie, a simple demonstration of my talents as noble earth mage!" Her disgust only grew as a few of the freshman cheered for him. Of course they were all women, weak girls who didn't know any better. Louise felt herself turn a nose at the thought of them.

"Master Louise," she heard a voice speak politely to her. She saw the dark haired servant girl from before, hands folded over her chest and face cleaned. At least this commoner made an effort to look presentable. "Pardon my intrusion, but… do you believe Undyne has a chance against Master Guiche?"

"My familiar is strong," Louise spoke without a moment's hesitation. She didn't need to think to know the truth. "I doubt she'll get through this without some harm, but perhaps that will teach her to at least be respectful to the other nobles."

"O-Oh, yes, but… do you think she'll win?" Louise hummed a bit at the thought. She kept her eyes on Undyne, who was looking up and down Guiche' Valkyrie with her same too-sharp grin. Arms folded in her black armor, she was an intimidating sight. But it was just strength. What could that do against a noble?

"For all the talk she's made about her strength, she had better prove herself. Failure to defeat even a dot class noble will be telling." Louise left it at that. The maid was wise enough to not press further. If only she had practiced that same wisdom with Guiche earlier, then none of this would have happened. Louise let out a small sigh at the idea.

There was no use dwelling on the past. It existed only to strengthen the future, not to change it.

"That's pretty cool," Undyne spoke up, finally speaking with a nod of her head. Louise felt a tick of her rage return with the almost dismissive notion. "Haven't seen something like that before. Closest we got in the Underground is the robot Alphys made up. That thing just likes ta sing though." Louise's anger was placated by her familiar's inane rambling.

"A robot? Must be seem 'monster' term I'm not familiar with," Guich dismissed with a whip of his head and comb of his hair. Louise wouldn't mind if Undyne was able to tear a bit of it off. Then again, she wouldn't mind if the scaly monster was taught the strength of a noble's magic. "But I assure you my grand Valkyrie is near without equal! It will take a miracle on your part to even hope to dent it." Louise could name five nobles off the back of her hand who could turn Guiche's golem into dust.

"Dent it? Punk, you'll be lucky if that thing still has a dozen pieces left of it when I'm done." Undyne unfolded her arms, her grin almost manic with its size. Louise was still not convinced if that was her natural smile or not. "That's not to mention what I'm gonna do to you."

"Now now, we agreed rules by submission," Guiche corrected with an undue air of superiority. Were he speaking to some Plebian, Louise would have no argument. But he was just restating what was already known! "As said, we don't want to risk a confrontation of our… kingdoms." That wasn't to mention how he still didn't believe Undyne's story.

Undyne didn't say anything. Her black armored arms to her side, near feral grin with razor teeth consuming near half of her face, Louise's blue scaled familiar gave a quick crack of her neck. Louise herself felt her own grin pull at her lips, mostly at the grim look her younger classmates adopted. There was no denying the intimidating atmosphere her familiar gave.

"Ya know, I got my own name, too," Undyne spoke. "The kids in Snowdin used ta chant it when I went to school the Dog Brigade every now and then. Alphys even made up a lil' song for it. Kinda a shame I can't play it right now." She raised one of her arms into the holding it above her head like she was trying to catch a bird. Louise nearly shouted at her to take the duel seriously.

But then, with a bang and flash of light, an ethereal blue spear appeared in her hand. Louise could only gape.

It was a spear, but none that she had ever seen. It was the purest blue, cleaner than the sky and continuous throughout. Its point was sharp and length long, easily as longer as Undyne herself, and her familiar was tall! It glowed with magic, it appeared like magic… Undyne… Undyne had made a literal spear out of magic!

Louise's thoughts were jolted when Undyne slammed the butt of the spear into the ground, shaking the earth just as she did with her armor. She thought it impossible, but Undyne looked for more terrifying now, blue spear in hand, then she ever did before.

"If you wanna call me something, call me Undyne, the Spear of Justice!"

Louise only continued to stare, mouth agape, at the spear her familiar held.

* * *

Undyne continued to grin, eye sharp, at the familiar spear in her hand.

It was something special to do her magic outside for the first time. Like running on a new track, it was just something she was too eager to try. A new track that was decked out with the greatest possible stuff any workout could ask for. She could feel her magic pulsing through her spear, like it was alive!

If anything, her not doing it earlier showed a remarkable amount of restraint. Asgore better be thankful she hadn't gone loose cannon on these brats earlier. Least what she was doing now was a good way to let off some steam.

The Guiche brat would fight her, get his butt whipped eight ways to Waterfall, then she'd get to enjoy the day a bit more. It was as simple as that, the bonus was no one was gonna get angry at her for doing something the human was literally asking for. Fighting without risking war. Asgore had _really_ better be thankful for this.

"Magic…" the blonde punk across from her whispered. When'd he get all quiet like that? No, wait, he wasn't the only one, was he? All these punks were quiet. The hell was going on now? "Y-You… You can do… m-magic?"

"Duh," Undyne let out. How stupid was this brat? What was the point of all that noble stuff if he really was thicker than the walls of his house? "I'm a monster. I'm literally made of magic. What else did you think was holdin' me together? Glue?" Undyne, unfortunately felt her small fall a little. She made sure her teeth where still showing, nothing scarier than her sword sharp teeth, but it was hard to keep up given how quiet the place had suddenly gotten.

Geez, she did something at least as cool as the punk did. Where was her applause? Guess the humans really could stick together when they wanted to. A part of her hoped it would make the fight at least interesting.

"M-Made? No, that's… that's impossible! That's a fallacy!" The human started to yell. Undyne smirked at him. Hopefully he'd put that determination to good use. Be a boring fight otherwise. "Magic belongs to nobles! A gift blessed to use by Brimir the Founder! Are you saying… the idea of it… no, I don't know what tricks you are p-playing at monster, but they won't work on me!"

"Tricks?" Undyne asked, lifting her spear and putting it over her shoulder. This human thought she was joking around? Big mistake. "Punk, this is a fight. Tricks are fer parties or goofin' off. Did you seriously think you were gonna face me and not get a serious butt kicking!?" She made sure her grin was wide with the question. Bonus points for the sun reflecting off her teeth.

"You're a noble then! I am dueling a noble from a foreign kingdom?!" At least he wasn't talking smack about the Underground anymore. Asgore called them small blessings. "You were supposed to be a mere guard… No, this is unacceptable. I was made to believe I was fighting some… some delusional fish creature! Not… not you!"

Undyne _really_ wanted to rip the punk's face off.

"Brat," she growled out, grin still deciding if she wanted to scowl at the human or give him a blood thirsty smile. "You better shape up fast, cause I'm not gonna be holdin' back against you." She would though, she had to. She _really_ didn't want to, but Asgore would be really disappointed in her if she actually hurt a human after they asked her to stop. That'd be worse than him being mad!

At least the Guiche punk was starting to realize how screwed he was. He kept looking around himself, like one of the humans was gonna speak up for him. Undyne kinda wished they would, prove to her their strength in numbers. But no one was doing anything. A quick twist of her own head showed her they were all still staring at her. What, was one spear really that impressive? They were gonna get a show when the fight actually started then!

"F-Fine!" the brat stumbled over himself with his shout. Undyne rolled her tongue through her teeth at the sight. Her grin only sharpened when she saw him shake. "I-If you are so… s-so insistent on a dishonorable duel, th-then I'll oblige!" Undyne ignored whatever Guiche was shouting. She paid more attention to that flower of his, thrown over the field again.

Multiple petals hit the ground, the same as they had before. Each gave the same burst of light, each brought forth some new bronze robot, or whatever the punk called them, and each were holding spears of their own. It would've been pretty cool, if that brat didn't look like he'd just run the length of the Underground. Seriously, the blonde punk was sweating!

Was that normal? He hadn't actually done anything. He just threw that flower around like some brat in Snowdin would with a snowball. That tired him out, seriously?! Undyne had seen the Monster Kid have more energy, and that kid didn't even have arms.

No wonder humans weren't supposed to do magic. They couldn't handle it!

"You done?" Undyne asked the punk. He didn't say anything, didn't really change much either. Guiche just looked like he was ready to fall over. This was gonna be disappointing. "My turn then," she let out, lifting her spear over her head. Her fist clenched as she let her magic work its stuff. She'd give the human a chance to prove himself. Didn't want the fight to end too early.

She let more spears pop into life above her, floating just above her head. The humans seemed to really like that, cause they were all giving that same dumb expressions of surprise. Considering how often she saw it, Undyne couldn't think of it as anything else but the normal look they made. It didn't matter, least not now. The fight was still on!

Undyne gave one of the bronze statue things a good look. It still looked pretty awesome, like some kid in Snowdin tried to make a copy of her armor in the snow. Too bad she was the real deal! She swung her spear down, letting the lances launch at the thing.

It was impaled thrice over before it even hit the ground. The hell?

That was faster than she was used to, like way faster. She doubted Asgore would've been able to follow that. Eh, something to think about later. She was probably just pumped to be fighting outside. Undyne nodded her head at the idea.

"Y-You-" the punk started saying. He was almost crushing that flower in combination with that grimace of his. Was he angry or scared? Could've been both. Undyne just gave him the same grin as ever, the one that made the kids cheer. "You lying trickster! H-How dare you, trick me i-into some… some farce of a duel like this!" Was he gonna was his turn talking? Fine, Unyne could work with that.

She made her grin a bit wider as she lifted her free hand, letting even more spears appear around her. It felt amazing, every time one popped into existence by her magic's command. The sun may have made her armor a little hot, but it felt like it was giving her magic a super charge! She was made for the surface! Time to see how impressive her spears could really be. Undyne let out a quick yell, grinning like mad as she pointed at the bronze robots with her spear again.

All of them, all five of them, were torn to shreds within the time it took Undyne to let out a breath of air.

They couldn't even stop her spears! She saw one of them raise one of its pathetic excuses for a lance, holding it up to stop her magic. Undyne's spear had ripped through it like she did boulders in Waterfall! The sun really did make her fight stronger! This was awesome!

"Ah-Ah… Agh…" Oh yeah, that punk was still there. Undyne had almost forgotten about him. He was looking pretty scared, like he was about to pass out. That'd be lame. "S-So fast, I-I didn't I... Agh, l-lightning!?" Guiche let out before falling on his butt. Undyne had to raise the brow of her good eye at that.

"Seriously?" She asked staring at the punk that was so high and mighty before. He really was a brat. "That's it? All that talk of how great ya were and that's all ya got?"

Undyne didn't know if she should've been happy or pissed off. These were humans? There was only one word she could think of to describe them.

"What a loser," Undyne spoke as she stared down at the cowering punk.

This was seriously it, wasn't it? No grand plan, no call to action, nothing? Not even determination? Where were the humans that were a threat to monsters, the race that had held them in the Underground for thousands of years? If these guys really were human, they'd lost their touch, badly.

"Ah well, still won." Undyne tossed her spear into the air, hearing it make another bang and vanishing from sight. Every other one followed suit, disappearing into the sky. At least that was the same. If the outside was too different she might have started disliking it. Couldn't let that happen.

This fight really was a bore. She didn't even need to make more than a few of her spears! Seriously, where was the determination of humanity? Wasn't it supposed to make them like the biggest threat to monsters? If this was the most they had, then maybe she'd need to talk to Asgore about the whole peace plan.

She walked away from the blonde punk, letting the brat lick his wounds. Rest of the brats were pretty quiet, too. They really couldn't anything else but look shocked or stupid, could they? Undyne couldn't wait to find the rest of monsters, maybe then she'd be able to talk to someone who didn't fall over themselves.

"Oh, Siesta," Undyne spoke up, seeing the dark haired human maid standing off to the side. She was right back that pinkette brat. Great. The woman jumped to attention at her name. Least she didn't look too surprised. No wait, yeah she did. Undyne didn't let that stop her though.

She took the few steps necessary to get closer to the maid. Rest of the punks moved pretty far out of the way from her as she approached. That was cool. She knew she was scary, so it was kinda cool to see the humans were just afraid of her on sight. She and Asgore really needed to chat when that bald human found him.

Undyne began to take off her gauntlet as she got closer. It was awesome to wear, but it got hot fast in with the sun. Heh, that was fun to say, standing in her armor under the sun. It could wait though. Siesta didn't do much even when Undyne was standing right in front of her, the human barely rising to her neck's height. It was good to be tall.

It made putting her hand on the human's head really easy. The human blushed at the action. Least she wasn't looking dumb and surprised.

"Any of those punks try and give ya a hard time again, just come find me," Undyne gave the human a triumphant grin, one that showed off her teeth. She could still feel the sun across the tips. "Long as I'm here, you got nothin' ta fear!"

Undyne shut her eyes as she stretched her grin out. Alphys's videos said humans liked that, made them look heroic. If there was a good time to try it out, now was probably it. But damn if it wasn't still quiet. Did she mess it up? That'd be bad. Speeches were supposed to be easy dang it! She opened her eyes, looking to see the damage she'd done.

All she saw was Siesta looking up at her with cheeks red as fire. Her eyes were wide and pretty much focused just on Undyne. Practically looked like she had stares in them. The pinkette brat next to her had the same blush, except her eyes were narrowed pretty impressively, almost like they were closed. She had a pretty good snarl on her lips, too. Neither of the humans were looking away though.

Guess that meant it worked.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Maybe I gave a bit of emphasis on Undyne's part in this, but that's mostly because Louise would just be repeating what the manga/anime already tell us. Not much point.
> 
> Pretty sure someone asked if there was gonna be a reason for Undyne to not get curbed stomped, given that her soul is 'weaker' than a human's. True, except I think I hinted enough at why it's not a one-sided front on that side in this chapter. She did kind of scream about it, or monologue it. But for those of you who like to peruse stories on Wikipedia, these humans aren't nearly as determined as Frisk was. Heck, I'd argue the war gave humans determination. A duel they think they're gonna win? One slip up and out that assurance goes.
> 
> If you are enjoying this story, and I want to see where it goes or ask me questions, try and jump on my Discord to talk with everyone else. You won't be alone, I promise.
> 
> discord.gg/fgeV4ra
> 
> If you're really into my stories, and I can't thank you enough for it, try and check out my Patreon to see if there are any rewards you'd like to participate in. Be one of the first and be one of my heroes!
> 
> https://www.patreon.com/WizardofWords


	4. Here Comes Another Human

"Made… of magic…" Louise spoke slowly for what felt like the umpteenth time. She said it while staring at the very creature who made such a ludicrous claim. Said monster, appropriately labeled, was removing what little was left of her armor.

"For like the hundredth time, yes!" Undyne yelled at her. Louise could not even bring herself to be insulted by the tone. "Magic ain't just in my bones, it _is_ my bones!" Her familiar banged one of her fists to the back of her other arm. Louise was still too shaken to pay mind to either the horrid grammar or the boom that seemed to shake her room.

"But… that's impossible," Louise spoke, even as she heard Undyne click her tongue at the words. She was doubtlessly showing off more of her teeth with the noise. "Magic was gifted to humans by god himself, passed on and taught by the Founder Brimir." Louise recited the words like a mantra. It was history, a _fact_. So then what did Undyne's existence even mean?

"I don't know much about this Founder of yours. All I got to go on is the Angel," Undyne spoke up like Louise had asked a question, a question aloud that was. Louise paid enough attention to see her familiar, her _magical_ familiar, undoing the clasps to her greaves. "Angel's supposed to break the barrier and help the monsters go free. Guess she did her job then, huh?" She was joking.

She was joking as if she didn't understand the gravity of her claim. It would be hardly a surprise if Undyne didn't. It would be no different than her spree of destruction, made from how unaware she was of her colossal strength. The Headmaster's window, his table, the servant's door to the kitchen, spots around the garden, likely all the new cracks that had appeared along the walls, a table in the kitchen, and even Guiche's pride. Was that because she was made of magic?

"Aaaaaand done!" Undyne announced thankfully as she lifted the last of her armor from her legs. She held up the colossally heavy pieces of metal on outstretched arms. It was a minor surprise compared to the magic Louise had already seen. _Magic_. "Just gotta be careful with this now. Gotta think repairing the floor this high up has gotta be a hassle."

Louise looked to the table that once stood proudly along her far wall. It was crushed into splinters by the helm, torso, and gauntlets that sat on it now. It would not be a far claim to say that Undyne's equipment could break the stone. She had broken so much else already. But perhaps that was because she was made of magic.

And if she really was, then did that mean she was chosen more by God himself then humans? Humans were gifted with magic by Gods, anointed to separate the nobles from the Plebians. But Undyne, she was _made_ of it. Was that grander than the mere ability to use it? The implications were far beyond anything Louise could have thought her familiar capable of.

"Might want to get that rack you promised me," Undyne spoke up again. Louise gave her enough attention to see her setting her boots up against the wall. It would take a siege to move them. "Doesn't feel right letting my armor just sit on the ground like this. Doesn't help that all the stuff you humans make are fragile as glass. Least it could be magic glass." Glass made from magic? It was far less ludicrous than the idea that the monster before Louise was made of it.

"I will see to finding one soon," Louise promised. There was no reason not to. She didn't want her room to be destroyed by her familiar's armor every time she removed it. Plus, she understood the disdain for letting good metal sit on the ground, even if it was darker than the void. "For now, we must do something about those clothes of yours."

Clothing, yes. That was something Louise could focus on.

"Seriously, my clothes?" The monster asked as she pinched the thin fabric that was adorned across her scaly chest. Louise was a bit surprised the cloth didn't tear to ribbons, given Undyne's usual penchant to destroy. "These are comfy to wear, 'specially under all that armor. Why would I stop wearing this?"

"Because it is not presentable," Louise spoke simply, crossing her arms as she sat on her bed. "You look like a Plebian finishing their work, not a Royal Guard Captain serving your liege. It is common sense to look the part." The idea of being confused for a commoner was a horrific idea. Why was her familiar unable to understand that?

"This stuff is perfect to wear though!" the scaly monster returned, voice raising with the declaration. Didn't quite yell at least. "The surface is just so damn hot! If I'm wearing anything more than this, I'll be roasting like I was in Hotland!" Probably another term for the Underground she hailed from.

"That is a poor excuse for your attire," Louise pointed back. "If you and I are going to be the ambassadors for humans and… monsters, then we must each look the part."

"And I say that I'm already A'okay on that front!" Undyne extended her arms out with the words, showing off her bare scaly arms, webbed fingers, and the near ruing fabric that covered the remainder of her body. The usual smile sat across her lips. It was amazing to Louise has fast she was becoming accustomed to it. "Cause I'm not gonna be wearing all the crap you are. I wouldn't be able ta enjoy the outside if I did."

"Not all of us are so enraptured with simple nature!" Louise found herself shouting back. Her familiar's stupidity was grating her nerves. "Unlike you, _I_ care enough about my family's namesake to diligently study the art of magic. That includes being the presentable noble that I am."

"And that's what ya want to be?" Undyne suddenly asked, webbed hands falling to her hips, one of her sides pushed out as she leaned on one leg. "Stuck inside all day and not appreciation what you got out there? No thanks, that ain't for me." She crossed and spread her arms, as if she were denying some physical object.

"Then it isn't for you!" Louise shouted back. She was being noble right now, she had to be. "But I am a noble, the third daughter of the Vallière family. It is my duty to learn and practice magic the same as my parents and elder sisters. That cannot be done by simply… fooling around!" She threw her own arms out, letting them hit her bed in annoyance when she was done.

"Well maybe you should, punk!" Undyne shouted back at her, leaning down at her to put their faces closer together. But Louise would not be deterred by her own familiar, no matter how sharp and menacing that smile was. "Cause from where I'm standin' you brats couldn't even pick a stone let alone handle any real magic! If you're gonna be so determined about sittin' inside all day, the least you could do is show me that it's worth it!"

"A noble's time is not meant to be wasted enjoying the simplicities of life!" Louise shouted back. Undyne could bite her for all she cared! "It is to be spent bettering the kingdom and its people. How can you not understand that yourself? Are you lax in your own duties?!"

"Brat, I'm the best Captain of the Guard there ever was!" She scaled monster slammed her fist against her chest. It made a boom that was becoming almost distractingly familiar. Louise ignored it. "I've got the strength and record ta prove it! What have you got ta show yer not just wastin' your time inside?!"

"I brought you here, didn't I?!" Louise shouted back, pushing her face forwards until the tip of her nose pushed against Undyne's. She wisely ignored the feeling of scales across her skin. "If it were not for my magic and diligent studies, you would still be… be stuck in that Underground of yours!"

"Yeah, but if I'm out, then so are the rest of the monsters! So all ya've really done is split me off from my friends!"

Louise felt something cold against her throat.

She leaned back, sure that Undyne had grabbed her neck again. It the same as least, a chocking sensation that made it hard to breath, impossible to talk. But when she was far enough away from Undyne, she saw her familiar still had both hands on her hips, staring at her with a single eye that was screwed in confusion. Louise didn't say anything. She couldn't. What could she say in the face of such a claim?

Louise could take no consolation in the surprised look across Undyne's features. Her smile was gone, leaning back and away from Louise, and arms at her sides. It should have been gratifying in some manner, seeing the proud monster being outdone with words. Instead, Louise just felt… cold.

"S'rry," the monster muttered at her, lifting a hand to scratch at the back of her hair. "Might 'ave gone a little far with that one." She stood up to her tallest again, towering over Louise even more now that she was sitting on her bed. Undyne gave a long sigh through her razor sharp teeth.

"It is… alright," Louise managed to choke out, the tightness around her throat loosening ever so slightly. "I was insulting to your people. I… I needed to be reminded of my circumstances." Steel was made though through recognition of its faults. Louise would be no different.

"Reminded? What are ya talking about?" Undyne's question was one Louise should have seen coming. But she should have seen a great many things recently, none of which she was prepared for. But she could not use that as an excuse for poor actions on her part.

She was a Vallière, a future ambassador to Undyne's people from the nobles of Tristian. The Rule of Steel demanded honesty, the same blatant honesty that Undyne herself had been so keen to share. She would not be outdone by her own summoned familiar.

"I am called the Zero of the Academy," Louise admitted to Undyne. She felt the bile rising at calling herself by the name. She, wisely as always, swallowed it back down. "I have never… never casted a successful spell. All end up as failures, explosions that do more damage than anything else. All I have is my name, a name made from actions that aren't my own."

She lifted her hand, staring at the slender appendage. Her skin was immaculate, she knew this. It was cared for by some of the greatest servants her family could afford, gifted and compensated by her mother's grand fame. The tools they used and methods they invoked, no expense was spared in caring for her body. It varied only slightly while she attended the Magical Academy.

"My mother is known as the Heavy Wind," Louise began, but found herself unable to continue with the woman. She was too grand to speak of. "My elder sisters are both near masters of magic as well, able to perform triangle class spells with only flicks of their wands. My father is but a step ahead of them. And I… I am…" The words were impossible to say.

Steel was meant to strike and defend no matter the object in question. To hesitate as to show weakness, and a blade was only ever as strong as its weakest point. But steel also wore over time, degraded with use, and had its faults made bare as better examples were shown… Louise was her mother's third daughter. That fact only became more evident with each passing day.

As she let her hand fall down to her side, bouncing lightly on her bed, Louise looked up at Undyne. The monster, thankfully, was not sporting her usual menacing smile. Instead, she had her bare, blue, and scaly arms crossed over the sweat-stained cloth she wore. Her one good eye was fixed on Louise, narrowed like the spears she threw. Magical spears… yes… her familiar's magic…

"I cannot cast a spell to save even my own reputation. My every action ends the same, with explosions," Louise admitted the loathsome words. "I have no means to show my worth and all my trials and have resulted in only errors. I have nothing but what is given to me… not even you."

Undyne didn't say anything. Louise wasn't surprised. The last soul she had told this to was a servant that cared for her before she departed for her first year at the Magical Academy. Her lack of response culminated in her eventual ignoring of Louise. Her mother had to remove the servant from service just to appease the tension. It didn't help. Steel was made through trials. It didn't matter what came before. It only had to learn to not do them again.

"You've been thinkin' 'bout this for a while, haven't ya?" Her familiar finally spoke, her expression far from the usual manic cheer she seemed to possess. "You don't come up with something like that out of the ground. How long's this been eatin' at ya?" What did she care? What did it matter? Louise shook her head as the questions came to her mind. They were questions she had asked herself dozens of times before. The Rule of Steel always won out.

"It doesn't matter," she spoke back to Undyne. "The only thing that matters is what I can do. Anything anyone ever does to help is simply listen and console. And even they are far and few between." Louise could name only her elder sister for such an honor. Not even her mother, father, or second sibling had ever patted her head in success.

Louise shook her head. Steel was hard and sharp, jagged and strong. It was not soft. It did not melt so easily and it certainly did not give into a force willingly. She would not show weakness, not in front of anyone.

"Hey," Undyne spoke up. Louise looked up just in time to see the familiar put her hand on her shoulder. It was just as heavy as Louise expected it to be. "I'm here ta listen." No she wasn't. She was here for her people. "Okay, it's not _the_ reason why, but I've listened ta friends before. Kids, too." Louise scrunched her nose at the word.

"I am not child," she denied, moving to cross her arms over chest. She only succeeded in one of those actions. She couldn't so much as lift the arm Undyne had a grip on. "I am fully capable of managing my own problems and working to improve them."

"See, that's the thing," Undyne spoke as she put her other hand only Louise's side. She swore dragons were weaker than this monster. Given Sylphid, it was very possible. "The more you keep holdin' crap like this in, the worst it's gonna make you. Trust me, I know a few monsters kinda like you." Louise doubted that immensely. She was ready to retort, prepared to call out the blatant lie.

But Undyne just turned her head away, leaving her red hair to flow over Louise. She blew out the long strands, blinking in vain hope that it would help her see again. It did little but disorient her. That, and made her fury grow a bit bolder.

"But if I'm gonna talk to you, it ain't gonna be here." Louise would have been thankful for Undyne twisting her head back around, were it not for the manic grin she apparently had readorned. "Best place to talk is a place where you can relax. Asgore told me that, and the big guy is almost never wrong."

"What in the Founder's name is that supposed to meeeeeEEEEEE!" Louise began to shriek mid-question. It was hard not to, given that Undyne had literally thrown her over her shoulder like some kind of doll. Louise felt her anger return in full. "Put me down this instant! I demand you release me at once familiar!" She pushed against the arm that was wrapped around her waist, doing her best to ignore the ease with which Undyne lifted and turned from her bed. She succeeded only in feeling the strong muscles lain beneath the monster's scales.

"Relax pinkette," Undyne spoke up, out of Louise's eye-sight. "We're just goin somewhere a bit more relaxing. Least for me. Might wanna hold on though." Louise felt herself freeze with the request. Her mind too quickly put together what her familiar meant.

They weren't walking towards the door. They were walking towards the window. Louise even felt a cool breeze drift up her night gown. Terror replaced anger.

"No! Undyne, no!" She began to shout again, pushing and wiggling against the monster's arm, doing everything she could, no matter how undignified, to escape the grasp. "We are several stories up and I _refuse_ to sit on some window sill and have a conversation with you!"

"Don't worry punk, we're not gonna be sitting there." Those words should have been comforting, but the very fact that Undyne had not stopped moving destroyed any hope for peace Louise might have had. "We'll get a better view of the sky from on the roof!"

Louise felt a chill run up her back. It was impossible to tell what cause it. The declaration that Undyne made, the chill of the wind from outside and so high up, or the way Undyne literally jumped and flipped out of the window, Louise still in hand.

She only found her voice when Undyne's boots clattered across the tiles of the spire's roof. She heard the ceramic tiles crack and slide under the force. Louise wouldn't have been surprised even if she weren't gripping onto Undyne's arm like a vice. She doubted a smithy could match her grip on the monster now. He didn't work for his life like she was!

"Hey, hey, relax," Undyne spoke up again, as if this was normal to her. What did she expect from a noble such as Louise? This was unheard of! "Can't exactly make this comfortable for ya if you just hold on ta me like that." Louise was not going to let go to simply entertain Undyne's ludicrous sense of 'relaxing'. This was nearly the most dangerous act Louise had ever done!

It was easily top of the list, given that she was staring at the edge of the roof, the ground far _far_ beneath her. It hardly helped that it was a bright night. If anything, that only made it worse. She could _very_ clearly see the grass that would be stained with her blood if Undyne _let her go!_ But then her orientation was whipped, literally.

She was spun in a half-circle, stopping when she was looking at the spire to her tower instead of the ground _still_ far below. It was a thankful change of scenery. A timid cry still escaped her lips, let out as Undyne dropped to the roof. More tiles cracked upon her impact, naturally. Just as naturally, Louise refused to let go of Undyne's arm. Too much, _far_ too much, had happened in such a small span of time.

Why was she up here? Why did she tell Undyne anything? Why was her familiar so needlessly reckless? Why was this all happening to her and not some other noble, let alone any Plebian? Why was Undyne spinning her around? Wait…

"Ugh!" Louise let out a noise of exertion as her orientation was flipped again. This time, it was stopped by her back hitting Undyne's chest. That sensation was quickly matched with the monster's scaly arms wrapping around her torso, holding her close. It took the next moment for Louise to realize that she was sitting in her familiar's lap, oddly clothed legs crossed under Louise's own.

She was sitting in Undyne's lap, in her nightgown, at night, on her roof, with only said monster's arms keeping her secure. Louise felt herself grip the arms tightly, with just as much force as she put into leaning into Undyne. She really didn't want to be near the edge of the roof.

"Punk, seriously, relax. I got ya," Undyne spoke up from behind her. Louise could just imagine the mad and sharp grin over the familiar's features. "I'm not gonna let anythin' happen. Trust me." It was hard to invest in such a thing after being literally carried and thrown out her own window.

Her voice still refused to come out. Louise blamed it on the tumbling her body was sent through and the grip Undyne had on her. It was strong, secure, warm even… but it hardly had any give to it. It seemed everything the monster did was a reminder of her strength. Or maybe that was just her magic…

"I never got to see this as a kid," Undyne spoke up from behind her, still holding her tightly against her chest. Louise was careful not to move too much. They were high up. "Growin' up in the Underground, the closest I ever got to this was starin' up at glowing rocks on the ceiling. Let me tell ya, it doesn't compare."

Louise felt the scaly arms about her torso hold her a bit tighter, but far from suffocating. It felt like how she would hold her pillows at night, holding them close just to have something, anything, to hold onto. She would be remiss to say she felt anything but vulnerable in the position. Undyne was strong beyond compare.

"Just about every monster in the Underground dreams of seein' the surface," said monster spoke on. Louise stayed quiet as she listened. "Cause we all knew there was gonna be a lot more to see up here than there'd ever be down there. Lotta the kids in Snowdin wanted ta see what kind of trees there'd be out there. Some of the older guys wanted to just see how much the world had changed, the geezers that they were."

She chuckled at something she said, Louise wasn't sure what. What she was sure of how was how it felt to have Undyne's chest rumble against her back. Louise felt a hot blush run up her cheeks at the pressure. She still chose to say nothing. They were still very high up, the only thing keeping her at said height being the monster's good nature and strength.

"What I wanted was different. I… gah, this is harder than I thought'd be." Undyne sounded uncomfortable. Louise still chose to say little. She didn't want to get dropped off the roof by accident. "I wanted to do everything. I wanted to run around on the surface, swim through the oceans that're supposed to be out here, stare up at the sky, enjoy the sun, count the stars, and sleep in the breeze, all of it. Doin' just one thing sounded dumb to me."

A sigh left Undyne's lips, drifting over Louise's head. It was only after her familiar perched her chin on top of her head that she realized just how small she was compared to the monster. That, and how she was quite literally being held like some doll. It should have infuriated her, but… Undyne was speaking honestly to her, about herself. It was not something she should ignore, not as the future diplomat between their people.

"But then I got to talkin' to Asgore 'bout that stuff, my king if you forgot." Louise hadn't. She made only a small sound to show such. "He told me about how it would take a lot ta be able to do everything. He went on and on about how tough things could be if ya tried to do too much, sayin' that livin for what ya got is how you make yerself happy."

"Are you saying I am trying too hard?" Louise asked aloud. It sounded as if she were, warning that doing too much would only result in giving too little. It was a silly notion, gaining nothing from hard work. It would only show the stupidity of her familiar if she believed such.

"Wha? Heck no!" Undyne shouted, making Louise jump, or more like shake in the grip she was still wrapped in. Given how she was literally sitting on Undyne's lap, the shout the monster gave literally shook her. "That was a challenge if I ever heard one! So I swore I'd get as strong as I possible could, be strong enough to be able to do anything, so that I would do everything!"

Undyne let go of Louise with one of her arms, but just one. She threw it forward into the sky like she was trying to hit some bird, holding out her clenched fist. It shook a little with the strength Undyne put into the grip. Louise could see that strength, even through the blue scales that adorned it. Scales that looked marred in some places…

"That's when Asgore started ta train me, teachin' me how to be strong," Undyne's voice lowered as she drew back her arm. It wrapped around Louise again. She did her utmost deny the way she wrapped her own arms around the blue limbs, strong and heavy as steel. "When I first started ta fight the big guy, I couldn't even lay a hand on him. He's like four times as big as me but I couldn't even touch him. It's like I was tryin' ta catch air."

Louise heard the mirthful chuckle from Undyne again, heard it as well as felt it. It vibrated across her back and through the chin that was sitting atop her head. Why was she okay with this? She was a noble, a proud member of the Vallière family? Why was she allowing this… man-handling? Louise had no answer for herself.

"I honestly figured he was cheatin' or somethin', cause I just couldn't believe the big dude was that fast." Undyne talked on, Louise listening as intently as she thought to herself. "Finally got around ta askin' how he was so tough. Told him outright that there was no way he was so strong cause of his trainin'. Even called him a lard butt. Took me till I was done screamin' my head off at him ta realize that I was yelling at my king."

It took until Undyne said those words for her to realize it herself. She felt herself stiffen in Undyne's hold, for no reason on her familiar's part.

How was Undyne still alive after doing such an act? No, how was she still a member of the guard? If anyone from Plebian to noble yelled at the queen of Tristian… they would have their very name removed from any registry. The act was unthinkable, unheard of within kingdoms!

"But Asgore, softy that he was, just told me he was the strongest cause he had to be." Louise heard another sigh roll past Undyne's lips. Maybe the day really had tired her out. Maybe… but Louise was say not a word to interrupt the story. "See, he took me aside and kinda spelled it out. He's the king of monsters, our ruler, our hope. He's bearin' everyone's hope to leave the Underground, least he did. Carrying that weight, he had ta be strong."

Louise could see a metaphor when one appeared. Physical strength did not derive from a ruler's duty. If such were the case, then the need for Plebians would truly be an absolute zero, given the weight of responsibilities that fell on the nobles. But… Undyne was made of magic, her king likely was too… maybe that was the difference… maybe…

"So right in front of him, I swore that I'd make everyone's hopes _and_ dreams come true." Louise could clearly hear the mirthful chuckle from her familiar. It was the same sound, at least similar, to how her mother sounded when she recounted her battles. "The way tike me figured it, Asgore was just holdin' on ta everyone's hopes. If I took on the dreams part too, then I'd have to be stronger than him."

"He must have been very proud of you," Louise found herself saying. Why she was entertaining this story, she did not know. But… it would be inappropriate as a noble to dismiss the tale of a member of a foreign court. Yes, that was it. "Swearing such a duty to yourself so young."

"Actually the big guy just kinda laughed me off." Louise found herself attempting to twist to see Undyne's face. She had no amount of success. All she received was a hearty laugh from the scaly monster. "Didn't sit well with me though, I remember that much. So I spent every day since then doin' just that. Listening to everyone's hopes and dreams, swearing every night that I would make 'em all come true… Hard not to keep yourself motivated with a promise like that."

Louise understood, perfectly. It was likely the most apparent overlap the two of them had. It have been the only common ground, but if they both saw the same shade of green in the grass, Louise was not going to complain. It did leave one, glaring, question.

"Why tell me all of this?" Louise found the words slipping through her lips. She didn't remember when she went so lax in Undyne's arms. It must have been during her story. "Why is it important that I know this… history of yours?"

"Cause you told me yours and fair's fair." The bluntness with which the words were spoken was almost legendary. Louise, wisely, chose to ignore it. She was already growing accustomed to her familiar's inanity. At least now she understood the ground it was built on. "Sides, not like I'm gonna let a sob story like that just slide. Sounds like you got your own hopes you're holdin' onto."

Undyne let out a breath of air from above Louise's head, one of her arms unwrapping around the noble's torso. She heard it settle on the tiles of her roof, or more accurately she heard the splinter of ceramic.

"You ain't a monster, but it'd be pretty stupid of me ta not try and help ya make your dreams come true."

Louise was finding it hard to breath. She was sure neither the night air nor Undyne's grip had any reason for it.

Those words were… striking. The made sense to Lousie, made sense and stuck in her mind like the lectures on magical theory. She could not forget them, vibrating through her skull as the silence of the night continued on. She had no intention of letting them go. She had no reason to forget such… warm words. She had to something kind back, anything.

"You have nice hair," Louise found herself saying, stupidly. It was a stupid comment as she knew it, but it was a sincere one. Undyne did have great hair. Long, vibrant, and well-maintained. A simple touch told as much. "It suits you well."

"Thanks punk," She returned. Louise blew air out of her nose. She expected too much of her familiar, returning with anything but some rude remark or phrase. "You've got a nice head of it yourself."

A cry of defiance left Louise as she felt the webbed hand of Undyne lift and mess her hair, knotting the long strands together with so little effort. Her hands moved up to beat the offensive appendage off, finding it similar to deflecting an avalanche with her bare hands. The chuckles and laughter from Undyne were not helping, they were _infuriating_ , enjoying her discomfort and abuse.

So then… why was she laughing with her? Louise did not know, but neither did she care.

"There ya go! That's a good look on ya!" Louise heard Undyne shout, her hands slapping her own leg. That was fortunate, as Louise was sure the same blow would have rendered her unconscious. But that was unimportant. What look was she talking about?

It took Louise an unfortunately long period of time to realize the bright grin she had. It took just as depressingly long to realize she could not remember the last time she had laughed with such an expression. Why was that? Why… why was the Rule of Steel no abiding this? She turned her head upwards, looking towards the only constant around her at the moment. The sky.

The stars were brighter than Louise commonly remembered them being. They were not simply dots like ink on a paper. They were lights, illumination pouring from the heavens the Founder had marked. It was one of the many sources that kept the night so bright that let the chilly air seem inviting.

They were quiet, beautiful, and near impossible to ignore, not once you truly looked at them. It was a small wonder why Undyne was so enraptured with them. Louise, despite having been on the 'surface' all her life, could still appreciate their beauty.

"It is a nice night," Louise admitted. She let her head rest gently on Undyne's chest, enjoying the strength her familiar let her lean on. It was… comforting. "Tha… Th-Thank you, Undyne," Louise felt something else warm her cheeks. She refused to admit what it was.

"Anytime, punk." The monster seemed to relax her grip, single arm still wrapped around Louise's waist. "S'long as we stay on good terms, I don't got any complaints." Louise could agree to the logic. It obeyed the Rule of Steel.

Louise let the smile that had crawled over her lips stay, letting herself remain warm in her familiar's embrace. Undyne held her legs still with her own, pretzel as they were. She had an arm still about her waist, holding her steady. It was only after that when Undyne leaned back, stopping only when Louise heard her body hit the rest of the roof. The shattering of tiles was evidence enough. Louise still did not say a word of protest.

It wasn't the perfect night, far from it. She was outside in the cold, wearing little more than her nightgown. She had bared a good part of her soul to a monster she had met hardly more than a day before. Her hair likely was ruined and her beauty sleep was impossible at this point.

But Louise was warm in Undyne's grip. She was lighter than the Steel she swore by. And she was smiling like she had never remembered before.

It was one of the best nights Louise had ever remembered having.

* * *

It wasn't the perfect morning, but it was one of the best Undyne could ever remember having.

It was damn near impossible for her to consider it anything but. As if being outside wasn't amazing enough, she was lying outside without her armor on, soaking up the sun, and with a breeze flowing over her to boot. It felt like she was standing between Hotland and Waterfall at the same time, but _outside_. She was never gonna get over that, at least no time soon. But why would she want to?

She, Undyne, Captain of Asgore's Royal Guard, was on the surface of the world, above the Underground, and making peace with the humans, just like the big guy wanted. The only thing keeping the morning from really being perfect was the lack of other monsters, none of her friends near her.

She didn't let it bite at her. That was gonna happen. Just needed that bald human to find the rest of them. Wouldn't be long now. How long did it honestly take a message like 'monsters are back' to get across any kingdom? Couldn't be long now. Hopefully at least. Undyne wasn't sure how much longer she could keep herself in check around these humans. Kind of like the one holding onto her right now.

Oh, yeah, the pinkette. The one she dragged up and told a nice story to last night. Least it seemed to do trick.

Undyne tilted her head to get a good look at the human still curled up into her, head resting on her chest. The human punk even had a hand curled about her shirt. She seemed a lot more relaxed than she did last night, especially compared to that sob story of her past. Undyne still felt herself shaking her head at the ideas. The kid was all bark and no bite apparently, least right now. She wanted the bite but didn't have the teeth. Undyne felt her lips curl to show the sky her impressive fangs.

Asgore always did tell her that the best way to calm someone down was with a story. Kids loved that, cause they really wanted to get invested. Made it easy to make the brats in Snowdin listen to her. Probably what got Papyrus on her back, come to think of it. Least the same logic applied to the humans. The pink-haired punk did seem a lot friendlier after her little history lesson with Asgore.

Undyne let out a breath of air as she let her head fall back to the tiles on the roof. They were softer than the rocks in Waterfall at least. A lot warmer given the sun that beat on them. Speaking of, that thing was just starting to rise above the trees. Undyne tilted her head to grin at the giant ball. She had to squint, pretty much close her good eye, but it was worth it. Pretty much nothing compared to waking up to the sun on your face.

Still, waking up meant it was morning, and that meant she had to get the punk still sleeping on her back to her room. Undyne didn't need anyone to tell her that being caught in your pajamas was a pretty bad thing, especially in the middle of the day. The pinkette was a lot of things, but she really didn't deserve that. Unlike some other human…

Eh, thoughts left for later. Undyne carefully sat up, holding the human to her chest as she did so. The brat squirmed, but that was about it. Like she did at Papyrus's house, Undyne crept over the edge of the roof, grabbing the frame to the window. She took in a quick breath of air and let herself fall forward. Just like she practiced, she swung down and then through the window, landing lightly on her feet. It was even easier than in Snowdin!

"Nuh," came the unusual sound from the brat in her arms. Was weird to hear, but then again, Undyne did whip herself through the window. The brat did come with her. "Oh, wha? Where am I?" But there really wasn't an excuse for that.

"You're in your room punk," Undyne spoke up. The time to be patient was over. The brat was waking up and she didn't need to be carried bridal style anymore. So, naturally, Undyne threw the pinkette onto her bed.

The brat bounced on it once before launching herself over the other side. Undyne found herself wincing at the sound of the brat hitting the ground. Least that meant she was awake now.

"Gah!" Louise shouted, shooting up with fists clenched to her bed for support. Her arms practically slammed into the padding as she stood. Kinda undignified, but it did remind Undyne of Papyrus when Sans played a prank on him. Less pain was usually involved though. "Ow! _Ow!_ What in the name of the Founder was that for?!" Undyne could only hold her arms up at the one. That was her bad.

"Hey, hey, sorry 'bout that," Undyne spoke up. She didn't want a fight this early. Those were better off outside and after a good meal. "Thought the bed would catch ya. Didn't expect you to bounce like a spring." She was being honest, smiling even, but the pinkette just kept glaring at her, even her face turning red. That would've been cool if she wasn't still scowling.

"And what did you feel the need to toss me for?!" She shouted again, even stomping her foot for some kind of effort. Undyne kinda wanted to try that, but give the track record of this place, it'd probably collapse the floor. "What would be wrong with awakening in some normal manner!? Is it common among you monsters to throw one another in your sleep?!"

"Geez, calm down punk," Undyne relented again. Looks like the brat had plenty of determination in her, just kinda focusing on the wrong thing. Good think Undyne herself was the beacon of focus and solid-thinking. "It was an accident, 'lright? I didn't want ta hurt ya and I'm sorry that I did. Thought ya'd prefer ta wake up on yer bed than out on the roof." She started to scratch the back of her head as the punk's breathing became labored, really labored, like she had just run a few miles or something.

Undyne let one of her arms hang as she watched the human, hunched over herself, staring around her room. Was she looking for something? No idea what if that was the case. There wasn't much here, but Catty did tell her how bad it'd be ta rifle through a girl's stuff. Actually, Undyne was pretty sure she knew that, too.

"I… slept on the roof?" The girl asked as if she didn't know it. Undyne was sure the human was joking. It had to be some dumb joke on the punk's part. A bad one at that. "Why… Why would I do something so… no, no I did not do that. That was just some poor attempt on your part to divert attention!" She pointed at Undyne with an accusing finger. The monster drew back her lips in a snarl. Time to be scary.

"Brat, of all the things I could 'ave fibbed about, why would that be it?" She crossed her arm, staring down at the pinkette from across the bed. She was pretty sure she could rip the thing in half. Maybe try that later. "Seriously though, ya passed out on me after our lil' talk last night. I'm not gonna sleep inside any night soon, and you seemed happy enough once you conked out."

The punk, instead of answering, just started to bite her lips. She looked so much like the characters from the anime she watched with Alphys, all the way down to her pink hair. Too bad she wasn't heroic at all. Eh, better than being some kind of brat like that Guiche kid.

"Just… Just leave for now," the pinkette finally managed to speak, speak after she lowered her head motioned her hand stiffly towards the door. Undyne stared at it for a moment before raising a brow at the kid. What was eating her? "I have to prepare for the day, so… so go entertain yourself in the courtyard while I do so. See if you can… see if you can get something to eat." Well, hard to say not to food.

"Well I am kinda hungry, so I guess I'll head out," Undyne spoke up, stepping over to the door. Had to make sure she didn't stomp her feet. Didn't want the floor to fall through. "Just don't take too long, kay? It's bad form to be late." Undyne shut the door on her way out. She was pretty sure there was muffled screaming coming from the other side, but she ignored it. Probably just a hunger hallucination. And she was hungry.

She hardly at much yesterday, and the human food was still sitting inside of her. Had to go out eventually, but It didn't really do much more than just sit there till then. Kinda made it harder to be active when there was something literally moving around inside of you. So how did humans stay strong if they ate food like this all the time.

But then Undyne remembered the fight with the brat Guiche, the punk who tried to kill another human… maybe he ate too much and couldn't think straight. Sans was like that when had too much ketchup, or just napped too much. She shook her head at the idea, red hair waving with the motion. That was a stupid idea. The human brat was just a punk without any determination. No wonder he couldn't even hurt her yesterday.

Oh yeah, that. Undyne lifted her hands, staring at the red webbing between her fingers, the callous surfaces to her palms, and the rough scales that lined the back of her hands. She'd taken on an attack from a human… but she was still here. Asgore wouldn't stop warning her how a human that wanted to kill could kill a monster, especially if they wanted to.

So why didn't that big column of dirt kill her? No, screw that, why didn't it even hurt? She just grabbed it, let it fall, and it turned to crumbling soil, kinda like dust come to think of it. It would have been sweet if it wasn't so creepy. It was damn hard to get excited about something she couldn't understand. Kinda reminded Undyne of Alphys's Lab, all the stuff that was supposed to go on in there. Too bad she never saw.

Undyne smirked at the idea. It wasn't like that mattered anymore. She was outside still, way past the mountain and far above anything the Underground had left in it. Alphys could make a new lab, a cooler one! One that Undyne could help her out in and make up a bunch of sweet new battle armor in. They could make up a million and one cool things, no doubt about it!

If Undyne was stronger and faster thanks to the surface, then Alphys would be like ten times, no, a million times smarter! She'd probably figure out how to turn dirt togold and make self-cooking pasta! Those were the priorities! She'd-

"Undyne?" Said monster whipped her head to the voice that called her.

Her good eye fell on the human Siesta, the maid she stuck up for yesterday. It was only after she saw her that Undyne realized she was already outside the tower. Funny, she got lost in her thoughts. Least it was better than getting lost outside.

"Hey Siesta, what's up," Undyne spoke to the human, giving her big grin. Best way to greet someone in the morning was with a big grin. "You doin' alright? Hope ya got a good night's rest."

"I did, and I have you to thank," the human smiled brightly at her in return. The sight made Undyne put her hands to her hips, puffing out her chest for effort. It was probably the first time one of these humans smiled at her without looking like they were ready to pass out! "How are you doing this morning? Is the air treating you well?"

"Can the stuff be bad?" Undyne asked in turn, chuckling a bit at her words. Siesta laughed along with her. It made Undyne's grin threaten to split her face. This chick kept getting better and better! "Seriously though, compared to the Underground, it's like the air's 'live out here. I bet it's the reason I feel I could lift an entire mountain!" She hadn't actually thought of that till now.

Sure, the sun was beyond awesome and all, but Undyne never did great in the heat. Now air! Who didn't need that stuff! It only made sense that the better the air the better she'd be. Maybe if she got the best air on the surface she could finally take on Asgore!

"The air in the morning tends to be the clearest." Undyne hung on Siesta's words. The human blinked at Undyne, probably because said monster was leaning into close to her. Hey, she said something interesting, she wasn't one to ignore stuff like that! "I-It's why I tend to do most of my tasks in the morning. The air helps to keep me awake."

"You aren't kidding, right?" Undyne asked. The idea really seemed out there, air that kept you awake. How did they sleep then? Humans needed air, Undyne was pretty sure of that. So how in the hell did that make sense? "You actually like work better with that kinda air? Wait, no, scratch that, how long've you been up?" Couldn't be that long. The sun had just woken up Undyne, and that big ball in the sky had only just stared to peak over those mega-walls around the place.

"Nearly an hour ago," she answered, lightly bobbing her black hair with the nod she made. It was really cute, especially in the maid outfit. Undyne was starting to see why Alphys liked those shows now. "It gives me time to wash and hang the laundry before the sun rises. They dry best in the sun." That was good to know, and it made sense, too. Thank the Angel there were things up on the surface that actually did make sense.

"That must mean you got a lotta free time afterwards, right?" Undyne asked, cocking her head as she flashed her teeth at the human. She smiled in return. Finally someone she could talk straight with. "Take care of your work that early, means you can spend the rest of the day actually enjoying the sun."

"Actually, I am quite busy with other work. I must also clean many of the dormitory rooms, classrooms, and prepare texts for transportation to the nobles that request them." Undyne blinked at that. Sure, she didn't expect the maid to finish cleaning the entire place in like an hour or something, but the whole day? She may not be good with human faces, but she knew there was way more than just Siesta as a maid. "My spare time usually comes after I've made requests with my co-workers, otherwise there is always work to be done."

"Man, you keep that up and you're gonna run yourself into the ground." Unydne moved one hand to scratch the back of her head. She loved staying busy as much as the next monster, but non-stop? How'd she expect to enjoy the surface like that? "Don't you have time to eat or just relax? Maybe a play an instrument or somethin'?"

"Oh, I do have time to eat," Siesta seemed quick to react, raising both her hands like Undyne insulted her. Guess she couldn't be completely normal. "I am truthfully on my way to eat now, before the remaining nobles awake for their morning meal." Undyne shrugged her head. It made sense, kinda, but she couldn't get why they ate in order like that. Humans were weird. "But for relaxation… I find books to be the best way to enjoy my free time. It's hard for me to think of a better way to spend a day then to read a good book under the shade of a tree." Undyne had a clear opinion on that.

"Eh, sounds boring," she spoke up, shirking her shoulders with the words. "Sounds like something you'd be better off doing at night, cause it'll probably put ya to sleep." And now Siesta was wearing that human expression again, dumb faced and wide-eyed. It was almost surprising that Undyne hadn't seen that look more in Alphys's research tapes.

"O-Oh, well… I-I can see why you would think that," the human relented almost instantly. She was even starting to bow! "But I… I find that reading under a candlelight is difficult. It often requires me to move to read the pages properly." Oh, that was it? Undyne already knew the solution to that.

"Then ya read outside!" Undyne threw her arms out as she spoke. If nothing else, the action got Siesta to drop that surprised face. Now she was just blinking. Undyne never did like the baby-steps approach, but humans were apparently fragile as all heck. "You guys have got the actual stars and moon up there in the sky at night, and I'm willin' ta bet that's a great thing to read a book under. Heck, I've been sleeping outside since I've got here! I'd bet that reading till I fell asleep under the stars would be awesome!" She pounded her chest for the effort.

"O-Oh, y-yes! That could work…" Siesta began to say. Seriously! These humans freaking lived on the surface and Undyne was the one telling them how to live their lives!? Where was their determination at? Where did all their strength go? "But the day is also much warmer. I… I fear I would freeze were I to sleep outdoors in my sleepwear." The humans really were fragile, thinking their nights were cold. It was way warmer than Waterfall! Least the sun wasn't quite as hot as Hotland… not unless Undyne wore her armor 24/7.

"Then why don't ya get someone ta read with ya?" Undyne put a hand to her hip a she held up the other, like she was offering the human something.

Actually, she was! She was giving the dark haired maid a good idea!

"That'll keep you warm, right? Snuggling up next ta 'nother human at night."

Siesta's face was getting oddly red. Kinda reminded Undyne of the pinkette for a minute, except the maid was trying to cover her face.

"Th-That I cannot do!" She was shaking her whole body with the words, like her head wasn't good enough. That was more like it! Undyne gave a big grin at the human at the action. It made Siesta somehow redder. "Th-That would imply… oh by the Founder, no! I-I am a maiden, dutiful! I-I have never lain down with another like that!" Like what? Ta stay warm?

"What's wrong with it?" Undyne asked Siesta. "Nothin' wrong with stayin warm next to another human like that. Heck, I ain't even human and I just slept outside with that pinkette last night. Still one of the best night's sleep I ever got!" Undyne felt her good eye close with how broad her smile was getting. Asgore always did say to smile at the good memories.

She did, however, catc the typical human expression washing over Siesta's face again. Well… almost, but it was still a little different. Different in that it looked like her eyes were gonna pop out with how wide they were. Not even ta mention she looked red enough to burst. That… that wasn't good, was it?

"Whoa, hey, you okay Siesta?" Undyne spoke up, taking a few steps towards the human. She put her webbed hands on the maid's shoulders, holding her steady. Siesta was just staring up at her, not saying anything. That was weird, cause when Undyne got this close to most people, they started to freak out. "Seriously, say something, you're startin' ta freak me out here. I don't know what ta do if one of you humans just fall down."

"I… You laid… Madam Vallière," Siesta was speaking breathlessly. It kinda reminded Undyne of a fish out of water. Undyne was immensely happy Sans was nowhere near her. "That… I cannot believe it." Was this more of the human weirdness about nobles or whatever? Undyne blew a breath of air out of her nose.

"Yeah, well, it definitely happened," Undyne spoke, keeping her hands on the maid. Wasn't being shirked off at least. "The pinkette needed a good night's rest so I took her to the roof and showed her just what it was like ta sleep under the sky. Kinda surprised more of you humans don't do that actually." Undyne was curious of that. That, and the fact that Siesta appeared to be redder than her own hair. She was pretty sure that humans weren't supposed to change colors like that.

"Oh my… to hear of a noble… two nobles doing such things." Siesta's hands were covering her mouth again, but she did about a good a job of hiding her grin as Asgore did his flower patch. Undyne could have seen it blind. "Are… is this proper to speak of? Should you not be more… discrete with these activities?" Humans. Are. Weird.

"Ya think I should be quiet about sleeping?" Undyne asked seriously. Seriously? She could at least get some of the sleeping outside part, maybe. But sleeping at all? No way, that was just too out there. "Kinda an open secret that I do that. Pretty sure everyone knows about the pinkette doing that, too. Heck, I'm willin' ta beat a tooth that even you do it!"

Seeing the way Siesta began to almost shake in place, not to mention her red face and wide eyes, Undyne was seriously starting to consider getting that bald human out here. This didn't look healthy for a human, or at least normal. Maybe Undyne was just being scary? Possible, but even the babies back in the Underground got used to her pretty quick. And she'd met Siesta yesterday. More like saved her.

"Hey, if it's that awkward for ya to talk about, I'll drop it. Just thought it was something that could help ya sleep." She must have been saying the right words, because the maid began to at least breathe again. That was a plus, hopefully. Kinda depended on what came next.

"I… I appreciate your… honesty, Undyne," Siesta spoke breathlessly. Given what she said she did on a typical morning, which might make sense. But after a single conversation? Maybe there really was something wrong with this human. "I apologize for my… rudeness. I-It is simply not eth- _normal_ to talk of such things. And I am… untrained in such matters." Her eyes were moving further and further away from Undyne, the more she spoke. That was really weird, and it was starting to get to Undyne.

Couldn't one of these humans act normal for once? If this was typical for them, then that Professor Colbert or whatever had better find the rest of the monsters face, cause Undyne wasn't sure how much more she could take with this. If it wasn't just some random shock over her taking a step forward, it was just out right fear!

Undyne let out a long, deep sigh to relax herself. Maybe Siesta was just a little jaded still over what happened yesterday. She was almost killed by that brat of a human, the one with the blonde hair. That would shake up most monsters. Maybe that was all that was happening to Siesta… yeah, that made sense. Hopefully that was it.

"Okay, first, you got nothing to apologize for," Undyne started, holding up a finger to Siesta. The human stared at it, intrigued. Undyne ignored that. "Second, I just wanted ta know why you'd waste the day reading a book when the night is great for that. I'm thinkin' that it's it a lot easier to be active during the day then at night, if not just because you can lay back and enjoy the sky." Finally, like the Angel had acted again, Siesta's face began to lose its red tint. Took long enough.

"Oh, a-alright," the maid started, stumbling over her words. That wasn't too bad at least. At least she was talking while looking Undyne in the eye. "I apologize for my presumptuous-" Nope.

"Stop," Undyne held up her hand, ducking her own head now. It was like every human here had a quirk, and Siesta's was apologizing. That, Undyne would have to help her with that. "Ya didn't do anything wrong, okay?" She raised her head enough to see Siesta bob her head, dark hair waving with the motion. A breath of air left the monster at the sight. "Kay, good, now, I'm hungry. I came down here cause I was hungry and I want to find something to eat. Are you hungry?" The question seemed to catch her off guard.

"Um, yes, but the kitchen won't have the servant's meals ready until-" Too far again! Undyne was gonna get this chick to start thinking straight if it killed her!

"Great! You're hungry, I'm hungry, and the kitchen's gotta have some good grub in this early!" Undyne slapped her hands on the maid's shoulders as she boasted her clearly flawless logic. She felt Siesta nearly collapse to the ground. Fragile humans, they really did more of that determination stuff. "Let's go eat then! That's something I _know_ we can both during the day, right!" She hoped she was right, cause if that was weird to humans too, Undyne was gonna start hating this place.

"I-I appreciate your offer, b-but I have to finish the laundry for-" Nope. Not again. Undyne swore she was gonna fix this and fix this she will!

"Nope! We're going to eat!" Undyne shouted as she spun the maid around. Her dress billowed in a cute fashion, but Undyne wasn't focused on that. She was pretty sure neither was Siesta. Instead, she stopped the human when her back was to her, grabbed her by the shoulders and threw her into the air.

The human let out a small cry before she landed on Undyne's shoulder, the same as yesterday. She even felt Siesta gripped her arm as tight as she could! Wasn't tight, but the humans were weak and fragile. That much was pretty undeniable at this point.

"Yup! We're going to get some grub, have a talk, and maybe then we can finally get on the same page about something around here!" Undyne started her march through the yard, enjoying the sun on her scales as much as she did the grass beneath her boots. The fact that a human was riding on her shoulder with a death grip on her arm was just a bonus. Didn't keep her from grinning with joy, teeth gleaming in the sunlight. "Cause if I gotta deal with one more awkward conversation 'bout how backwards everything is on the surface, I'm gonna start breaking down the walls to this place!"

"D-Don't do that!" Siesta shouted from her perched position. It made Undyne grin. If the human had a pair of lungs like that, then maybe she did have something going for her! "I-I mean, please consider your actions! I may be just… a simple servant but I still-" Nope again!

"You aren't a servant right now!" Undyne shouted back with her usual bright grin, shaking her arm for good measure. Siesta gave a quick help of fright before bending at her gut, trying to get a better grip on Undyne. All the luck on the surface with her scales! "Right now you and I are gonna get something ta eat! Why? Cause it's early, I'm hungry, you're hungry, and food will solve both problems!" How could anyone argue with her logic?

"B-But this is highly inappropriate timing!" Undyne blew a stray strand of red hair out of her face at the declaration. Weird to eat in the morning, too? That Colbert dude had better hurry up. "Servants such as myself eat either before the nobles o-or once they are all-" Nope three times over!

"Well I don't see anyone out here!" Undyne waved her other arm as she kept her march, not losing a step. There really was no one else. She knew where she was going, kind of. At least the trees were so far and few between that it was kinda easy to use them as land markers. "So I guess that means they're all done. So guess what, you can eat up now!" Alphys would have been thrilled to hear the logic in Undyne's voice now. She was a natural speaker!

"We must act to our morals and manners even when no one is present!" Given that it was the first thing she'd said in the past ten minutes that wasn't full of stuttering and pauses, Undyne was willing to bet it was a motto or something. That was just depressing, almost as sad as the fact that she still hadn't seen a good example of determination yet, minus the yelling. "S-So please set me down, Madame Undyne!" Madame now? Seriously!?

"Nope! Cause I'm no Madame!" Undyne shouted back, giving the maid perched on her shoulder a good broad grin. She could see Siesta gripping her arm tightly, looking pretty scared from way up there. Better than that stupid human expression at least. "And I'm not lettin' you down until we get to the kitchen and get some grub!"

At least they were almost there. Undyne recognized the bench of sorts around the edge of the building. That's where she at with the pinkette a couple of days before. Meant the door to the kitchen was right around there… or the doorway at least. She had broken it. Guess it would be the first test of how quickly these humans could fix broken things.

And wouldn't you know it! Undyne followed around the round stone wall to find the archway set up with a new door hung underneath it. Guess it made sense they would fix it that quickly. If everything was fragile, then they should at least be quick about their repairs. That made sense, yeah.

"Hey, I can go in, right?" Undyne asked Siesta as she reached the door, pointing at it with her free hand. The maid gave her that human look. Undyne gave her own sigh before she spoke on. "The pinkette got food for me before, yesterday it was a couple of other maids that helped me out. I'm not goin' in less I'm invited. That's just rude." Of all the things Unydne had seen humans do, she really hoped barging into closed doors wasn't something that was normal for them. Really _really_ hoped.

"Um… yes," Siesta began to say. She didn't really sound sure of herself. Undyne must have shown what she was thinking on her face, cause something changed pretty quickly in the maid. "But only if you let me down first! …please." Undyne wasn't sure if she wanted to smile or laugh. Hell, it was easy to do both of those!

"Ha! Sure thing!" She popped her shoulder with her words, earning a quick yelp from the human. Thankfully that didn't last. Undyne caught her the same way she did yesterday, setting the maid down feet first. It was kinda funny the way she almost melted when her feet hit the surface. Couldn't blame her for that one. "That means we can go in now, right?" Still needed permission afterall.

"Y-Yes, of course," Siesta replied, turning a hasty smile towards Undyne. Kinda looked like she was laughing breathlessly. It was a good look on her, one that made Undyne smile back. When she wasn't being weird about all this stuff with standings and stupid etiquette, she was pretty alright. "Please, allow me." Siesta spoke as she took the few steps to the door.

She opened the door with a simple latch and pull. Oh… It opened outwards. No wonder Undyne couldn't get it to budge yesterday, until she broke it. Ah well, as long as no one said anything, it was alright. Sides, with the sweet smelling air coming from the open door, Undyne wasn't about to complain. All that mattered now was that no one else did.

Undyne followed Siesta inside, already feeling her usual grin pull at the room she'd been in yesterday. It was a lot more active than it was before, smoke filling the air and a bunch of humans running left and right. They were carrying a bunch of dishes, most of them pretty clean. Thankfully, for her and her gut, she saw some serious grub being piled on the bigger plates. Undyne licked her lips at the sight.

"Hey, it's her!" One of the maids spoke in a semi-yell to her friend. Only semi cause wasn't really a shout.

"It is! It is her!" The other maid spoke up. Undyne knew where this was going though. Figures they'd remember the damage she did. Wasn't exactly easy to lose her, a monster, among a bunch of humans.

"It's our spear!" Wait, what? Undyne shifted her eye towards the human who said that. It was the maid she talked to yesterday. She looked happy, really happy.

"Our spear! Our spear is here!"

"The Spear of Justice!"

"The Spear! Our Spear!"

Undyne took a step back, her good eye looking around them. Literally every human in there was staring at her, mouths wide with grins and almost literal stars in their eyes. They were twinkling like they were at least. She was used to a kid or Papryus getting all on her case about how cool she was, but an entire kitchen full of humans? That was a new one.

"It is you!" Another one of the humans spoke up. Took Undyne a full second to recognize him as the chef from yesterday. The giant hat helped. "Our Grand Spear of Justice, Undyne!" Then he started clapping. Why?

Then everyone else started clapping. _Why?_

Than Undyne looked at Siesta, sure that was going to say something about this. But she was just smiling, clapping with all the other humans. _WHY?_

"The hell is going on?" Undyne asked, looking every human she could put her eye on. Monsters cheering for her, that was fine, usually cause it was just a few of them. This was at least a few dozen humans. Given the way they were smiling, Undyne started to prefer the typical human look. At least it wasn't creepy. "Seriously, what happened?"

"You happened!" The chef spoke up again. He took steps towards her, stopping only when he was close enough to put his hands on her shoulders. That made Undyne blink. Guess he wasn't scared of her anymore at least. "You defended Siesta against that noble! Then you declared yourself our Spear! Having a court member like yourself vouch for us is worth more than anything!" Kay, Undyne got the gratitude, which made sense. But the fact she was Captain of the Guard, probably what he was talking about, mattering at all? More human weird stuff.

"Well hey, what would you have done?" Undyne asked, staring at the man in front of her. Kept her eye off of all the other humans. Least this guy was smiling like Asgore over tea, given he was half the big guy's height and missing all the fur. "Sides, that punk deserved a bit of a wakeup call. Just didn't think it'd be that easy." Her comment made the man laugh, something she heard a few other humans doing as well.

"And that is why you are our Spear!" He spoke again, slamming his open hand against her shoulder. It made a grin pull at Undyne's lips. Kay, this she could understand! It was a weak blow, sure, but it was better than dodging around like she was gonna hurt them. "Treating everyone the same no matter where they stand, it's how we all wish for our kingdom to act."

"You guys don't do that now?" Undyne asked. She kinda guessed it at this point, given all the evidence. But out right hearing it, it just kinda threw her for a moment. "The hell's the difference? Unless I missed somethin', you guys are the ones who do all the hard work. Pretty sure that's worth defending in any kingdom!"

Her declaration brought cheers. That brought a brighter smile to Undyne's lips. This public speaking stuff was easy! If Asgore ever needed it, she'd make a great replacement king! Queen, whatever!

"Well spoken, well spoken!" The chef yelled out again. "But we must treat you! Anything for our _Spear of Justice!_ " He yelled out, cheers meeting his words from the rest of the humans in the kitchen. Undyne felt a grin pull at her face, larger than ever. She took back what she though. Humans cheering for her like this was awesome!

"Well alright! So what's there ta eat?" Undyne asked, putting her hands on her hips and giving her grin to the human. He shook, for a moment, but his smile didn't wilt. That was good. "Siesta and I are hungry and if you've got a spare plate of food, I'd to get in on that!" Given the way the chef turned towards some other human, Undyne was pretty sure she didn't need to say more.

"Walter!" He yelled, making the human standing over a table full of plates look at him. "Bring two plates with the largest servings! Our Spear and Siesta are due for a meal!" Undyne could see the other human, Walter apparently, smile as he looked at her. Kay, Undyne could roll with this. If they acted like this normally, would have made a lot of awkward conversations easier.

"Undyne," she heard Siesta speak up to her. She turned to see the dark-haired maid give her a worried look. It was pretty hard to miss, given that just about every other human in the room she could see was grinning like Sans at her. "Are you sure you wish to eat with me? Would you not rather dine with the… other nobles?" Nope to the fourth power and well beyond!

"You gotta be kidding, right?" Undyne gave her a screwed look, grin still present. Siesta just blinked at the question. "There's nothin' more pathetic than eating alone or with a bunch of brats who don't know what determination is. Eating with you will just make everything taste like a hundred times better!" She pounded her gut, ready to fill it with the human food. The boom made the Siesta jump, but then laugh. Undyne was right the first time, this human was turning around! A little complicated for her tastes, but better than being a brat.

"Here you are," the human, Walter, spoke as he approached, plate in each hand. "Two plates of spaghetti with ground meat sauce, carried in tomato soup, and topped with a bit of parsley." Undyne could feel her mouth begin to drool as she saw the steam rising off the dish. It looked amazing. It looked like the stuff she and Papyrus had tried to make those thousand times before. And this humans… they got it down!

"Hey, you asked for it yesterday," the chef spoke up, earning at least a glance from Undyne. "And I thought there couldn't be a better way to show you our appreciation that giving you what you wanted." This human got it! She pulled him into a tight hug, lifting the light-weight human off the floor. He had a gut on him, but he was like air compared to Sylphid.

"It's perfect!" Undyne let out. "Aw, this is awesome! Ya couldn't have made anything better, dude. Thanks a million!" She let him go, falling back to his feet. He had to catch his breath, no big surprise, but he had on that smile still. Guess all it did take was a single day to turn a human's opinion around.

"I-I'm glad you're thrilled!" The human spoke up after catching his breath. "We are all willing to do anything for our Spear!" Undyne felt like scratching the back of her head. Now it was just kinda getting awkward. Attention wasn't bad, but this felt like something Asgore'd be better at. Still, didn't mean she didn't know what to say!

"Just follow your hopes and dreams, and I promise I'll be there ta help." Undyne put a hand on her hip as she gave the chef a thumbs up. Couldn't really wink all that well with one eye. Experience with the Monster Kid taught her that.

Least it got the human to smile even brighter, somehow. These humans, if they weren't staring into the void or turning red as ketchup, they were doin' something else that just looked dangerous! Ah well, places to be!

"C'mon Siesta!" She called to the maid, putting an arm around her as she picked up one of the plates Walter had out. The human smiled at her as she took it. She gave a winning grin back. "We're gonna eat outside! Cause that's what's your supposed to do when you're on the surface. Do everything you normally do under the sun!" She held up her plate as she marched to the door, feeling the maid take strides to keep up with her. She was human, she knew she could do it.

"O-Of course!" Siesta seemed to fall over her words still, but maybe that was because she was struggling to keep up. Undyne flashed her a grin before slowing down, feeling the human start to match her steps. She could hear the sigh of relief. Man, she was gonna have to teach these humans a bit about exercise, especially if this was typical for them. "Um… where are we eating?"

"Outside, duh!" Seriously, she just said that! Oh wait… she probably meant where outside… yeah, the surface was a big place. That meant options. "Buuuuut probably under that tree you were talkin' 'bout earlier. I mean, if I gotta show you better things to do outside, gotta start there, right?" Alphys explained to her once about variables and testing. Basically just change one thing, like what kind of trash to get from the dump.

"Oh, oh! Yes," Siesta seemed to take off with that comment. "Yes, that would be an excellent place to eat. I can show it to you." The maid made strides forwards, kinda clear indicator to Undyne that she wanted to lead. Well, she did know where to go. She undid her arm around the maid, letting Siesta move in front of her.

They were out the door in no time, a few of the humans giving goodbyes as they left Undyne waved to them, flashing a big grin to go with it. These humans were alright, especially if they kept calling her the Spear of Justice. It'd be like the Underground on the surface! What was that called, Aboveground? Eh, she'd leave it to Asgore to name things…

Crap, he'd probably call their new kingdom Aboveground, knowing the big guy. That'd be confusing in ways that'd make even Sans stop kidding around. How the hell would they be able to keep up with the humans if they called their kingdom above ground? Maybe she could convince him to let Alphys or Paps name things. She did make that Mettaton robot. Wasn't a bad name. And Papyrus was good at naming puzzles. That was close!

Then again, maybe Aboveground wasn't such a bad name. Kinda hard to not celebrate the fact they were on the surface now. Sure, the rest of the monsters weren't around Undyne per say, but they were definitely out. Just had to wait till that bald human found them, or at least got wind of them. Where was the dude anyways? Eh, wasn't the biggest question that needed answering.

"Here we are," Siesta spoke up, making Undyne shake her head in slight surprise. Weird, she didn't think she'd zone out while they were outside. She was still getting over the fact she was on the surface! Still, it was kinda obvious where 'here' was.

There was a tree in front of them, a pretty big one too. Not huge, like, house sized or anything, but big enough that Undyne knew it would've taken some effort to rip it out of the ground. She could do it though. Still, it was easily tall enough to make that dragon have to look up. That thought alone made Undyne grin. Trees were never this big in the Underground, or green. She liked the color a lot.

"Nice place," Undyne spoke up, walking up to the trunk of the tree. She could tell instantly when she got under the shade of the hulking chunk of wood. Felt like there was a breeze drifting over her, kinda like it was whispering. Almost made her shiver. "Guess I can see why you'd like ta lie down here. Probably fall asleep pretty quickly if I did that." Long as it was half-a-day later and she'd done at least a good hour of working out.

"I'm glad you agree," she spoke up again. Siesta walked past Undyne, stopping when her back was to the bark of the trunk. She gave Undyne a winning smile, one that looked pretty damn nice on her. Felt natural to give her one back in return. "The nobles tend to stay indoors, so I find more peace here than anywhere else in the Academy."

"Guess that makes sense," Undyne spoke up, walking beside Siesta. When she was next to the human, she spun on her heel and plopped down on the grass. She could feel the roots of the tree under her butt, but her attention was more on the warm, steaming, plate of spaghetti in her hands. This stuff wasn't meant to be ignored. "But I'm thinkin' it'd be better to eat here that read here. Can't beat eating outside!" She knew she was right and damn if she wasn't going to prove it.

"Y-Yes, well, we can start eating then," Siesta spoke back after crouching at her knees. She was sitting pretty weird, least to Undyne, with her butt on her feet like she had crouched too far. That just looked painful. The human didn't seem to mind though. Definitely weird.

At least it wasn't weird that she pulled out a pair of forks from that apron of hers. Undyne had pretty much forgot about those. Would've been pretty embarrassing trying to eat without them. Last time Papyrus tried that, she turned the dinner into a food fight. The kitchen didn't survive. Good times.

"Right," Undyne agreed with the human, giving her a thankful smile and nod of her head as she took a fork. Too bad her teeth couldn't gleam in the shade. That didn't matter right now, there was food to be had! "Now let's see how you humans cook your pasta!"

Undyne took a hefty forkful of the pasta, twisting the utensil until the tomato sauce whipped around it. The meaty chunks were pulled into the center of it, wrapped up in the stringy food like a blanket. Undyne licked her lips as she brought the fork to her mouth, taking the whole thing in her mouth at once. Only wimps did things less than half-way.

As soon as the food hit her tongue, she felt her good eye sparkle like the sky last night.

"It's delicious!" Undyne let out, savoring the taste.

Sure, it didn't dissolve in her mouth, but that just meant she could enjoy the flavor even more! She had to stop a tear from rolling out of her eye. It tasted like it was made of magic ten times over then kept on the surface for the sun to make even better! That was probably exactly what it was!

"That will make Marteau happy, hearing you praise his food." Undyne looked at Siesta as she spoke. Must have been talking about the chef. Guess that was his name. "He takes great pride in his food, a lot."

"Well it shows!" Undyne shouted back. She wrapped up and took another bite of the pasta. She had to sniffle back the tears again. The meat, the sauce, the pasta itself. It was wonderful! And she could actually savor it! Letting the human food sit in your gut for a day was worth it! Good thing she got a lot of practice dealing with this stuff from the dump. "This is like a million times better than anything I made up! Dude's gotta teach me how he did this!"

Undyne took in another forkful, oddly pissed off that she could bite down on the pasta immediately. The downside to fragile human junk. She probably would have bitten off the end of the fork if she did do that.

"I am sure Marteau would be… ecstatic to teach a noble such as yourself." There was that noble crap again. What did it mean again? You were a king or prince? She wasn't that, but whatever. Thoughts for later, food now! "And you are quite… oh my, you are devouring the food."

Undyne stopped at the words. She managed to look down at her plate. Took her that long to realize there was maybe just a bite left… huh, and here she thought she was being slow with it. Compare that to Siesta over there and the human looked like she hadn't even taken a bite yet. The heck, was she just watching Undyne eat or something? She shelved the thought for later, one of dozens.

"Dang, guess I couldn't help myself," Undyne let out. She couldn't grin at this, there was nothing left to eat! A tired sigh left her lips, more from annoyance than any actual fatigue. If anything she felt like working out now. That was when she caught Siesta inching towards her, plate in hand.

"If you like, you can… have some of mine." It took till she was done talking for Undyne to realize she wasn't just holding her plate, but a forkful of the tasty pasta. It had the meat and tomato on it and everything. Almost like she had prepared it just for this… whatever, more food and free at that.

"Sweet!" Undyne let out before she leaned forward, putting her lips around the fork. She pulled off the pasta, swirling it in her mouth to savor the taste. She didn't like Asgore's tea too much, but if he liked that stuff the way she liked this food, then the whole swirling thing just made so much more sense. It was tasting the food over and over again! "Ah, man that stuff's good. Thanks for the bite!"

She gave Siesta big smile, shaded by the tree. Undyne didn't know how she looked really, just what she was doing. Leaning back on a tree, legs splayed out in front of her, grass beneath her, sun above her, plate at her side, and a human feeding her some of the best pasta she'd ever had. Must have been a hell of a picture. Kinda made sense then why the human maid looked so happy.

"Any time Undyne," Siesta returned, smile still bright. Wasn't quite like the starry eyed gaze the humans gave her in the kitchen, but it was nice. Kinda felt more genuine, warm even, if that made sense. Something she kinda expected Sans to give Papyrus, when the lazy bag of bones was awake. "If you like, you can have the remainder of mine." She started to scoop it up, but Undyne put a hand to her shoulder.

"Nah, you gotta eat too, ya know," Undyne spoke up, snorting a bit through her nose. "Might not be full, but I got enough in me to keep me goin for a while. With how much say you gotta do, you better eat up." Siesta looked down at her own plate, pushing the food around with her fork. Wait, did she not like it? How was that possible? The taste was indescribable! "Did I say somethin' wrong?"

"N-No! Not at all," Siesta started then settled down pretty quickly. "I am just… unused to spending much time with others. This is… new to me, is all." Aw, that was it? She didn't know if it was the honesty or the sincerity, but Undyne felt a smile pulling at her lips.

"Hey, it's new for me to!" Undyne latched an arm around Siesta, pulling the human closer. She heard a pretty familiar yelp as the human fell against her chest, head pulled back to look up at Undyne's good eye. "Never been around you humans before, so I'm just tryin' to take this easy as I can." She was sure she was doing a great job! "That just means we're in the same boat, right? Nothin' wrong with that!"

And then there was the hot blush over the maid's cheeks. Guess humans did that whenever they got close to someone. Still, felt more like she was trying to get closer to Undyne then shirk out of the hold, not that Undyne was complaining. Kinda like the pinkette, Siesta felt like a giant warm pillow. If it was like twelve hours earlier or later, it'd be just the thing she needed to conk herself out.

Actually, Undyne was pretty positive now that Siesta didn't mind the just-shy-of-a-headlock hold she had on her. She felt the human moving closer to her, rubbing against her scales. Still wasn't saying a thing, though. She did look up at Undyne though, with a pair of eyes that looked pretty much the opposite of surprised. What was that… expectant?

"Undyne," Siesta whispered. Whispering now? Maybe it was cause she was afraid of how close she was. That one made sense at least. "Thank you for saving me yesterday. I don't think I'll ever be able to repay you for that." That got Undyne to grin.

"Like I said, it's no sweat on my scales," Undyne wiped at her head to show off her lack of perspiration. It took a lot to get those waterworks running. "I'll be there for ya, just like I promised." Now Siesta was smiling again, just really tiny. Kinda looked like something Undyne had seen in the human research Alphys had. Couldn't quite place what was supposed to happen.

"I know, and I thank you for that." Undyne had to look down, mostly cause she felt something else on her. A part of her was on edge, thinking it was one of those animals interrupting a good talk. Turns out it was just the maid's hand wrapping around her gut. Good thing she didn't eat too much. Then again, Siesta was probably too weak to do much to Undyne. "I promise that I will be here for you as well, if ever you need of me. For anything, even-"

" _There you are_!" Really? Now, of all times?

"Seriously, punk?" Undyne spoke as she turned head, already seeing the pinkette marching towards her. She even had a scowl on her face. Whelp, guess that meant she had to get up. Just when she was starting to see the sell of lying in the shade.

"I have been looking all over for you!" Louise yelled at Undyne, even as the familiar rose to her feet. She wished she could've been cool about it, but she had to move too many things. The plates, Siesta, the food in her gut. It was a lot! "You are lucky you are so easy to spot, or else I may have spent the entire day looking for you!"

"And that would've been a bad thing?" Undyne asked as she finally got to her feet, cracking her neck for effort. It felt a little stiff from being against the tree. "You're the one who asked me ta leave. Sides, not like I can go much of anywhere till that human prof of yours finds the rest of the monsters."

"That is beside the point!" The pinkette yelled back. It made Undyne grin down at her, barring all her teeth. This punk was just a walking treat, wasn't she? She crossed her arms as the human stiffly threw her arms to her sides. "I needed to speak with you and you were not there! How can you be my- _the_ ambassador of humans if you're difficult to find!?" The heck did that even mean? Seriously!

"The hell does that mean?" Undyne asked back at the pinkette, staring down the little punk. "I'm ready to talk just as often as I'm ready to fight, and I'm always ready ta go! More like your fault that you can't make up your mind on where ya think I should be!"

"I needed space, but not that much!" She shouted right back, almost stepping on the tips of her toes to get closer to Undyne. Would've been funny if it weren't so pathetic. No, scratch that, it was hilarious! Undyne widened her smile to show it. "Think seriously! I needed to be alone after what happened last night!" Wait, seriously?

"Hey! Don't act like you didn't enjoy that!" Undyne shouted right back, leaning over until she was nearly nose to nose with the brat, again! "How often do ya get to sleep like that? I don't need your word ta know you love every second of it!"

"Why you self-righteous…! …" Undyne lifted a brow as the punk caught off her own yell. She wasn't exactly ungrateful, but it was weird, creepy almost. Only got creepier when the brat hung her head low enough to have her hair fall over her face, pretty much hiding it.

Undyne turned to look at Siesta. They were both humans, so maybe she knew what was going on. All she was the maid standing with hands to her mouth, like this was surprising or something. Her face was turning red again. What was with humans and doing that? Her musings were stopped by the pinkette speaking up again.

"… Undyne," Louise eventually spoke up. Undyne could have sworn she heard some 'ph' sound for a second. "It has come to my attention that I have not given you a… proper tour of Tristian. As the ambassador between our people and yours, it is something that I must rectify at once." She wasn't sure where the info came from, but Undyne was pretty sure she knew where this was going.

"Are you sayin' we're gonna go outside?" She asked, cocking her eye at the pinkette. "Like outside those walls? Through the forest? More than just this school?" Despite herself, Undyne could feel her lips pulling back into a grin. Who couldn't get excited about that?

"Yes, I am," the punk nodded her head, her own sure grin pulling at her lips. "We have the day to not only help familiarize you with the land, but also to purchase the stand we agreed on for your suit of armor. So I believe that weeEEEEE!" Undyne wouldn't let her finish.

She was too busy lifting the girl and spinning her around like the doll she looked like.

"Oh yeah!" Undyne shouted as she continued to spin the girl. "That's a freaking awesome idea! Finally get ta see the rest of the surface AND you're gonna get me that armor rack!? That's awesome!"

She could hear the girl screaming in her arms. She must have been pretty excited! She could even hear a lot of the other humans laughing. They must have been _really_ excited, too!

"Let me down! Let me down!" Words finally started to come out of the girl's shouting. Undyne would oblige. She stopped her spin on a heel, feeling the grass tear up at the contact. It was pretty easy to do that, but damn if it wasn't comfortable to lay on. She set the pinkette down on her feet, letting the human girl grab her arm for support, she didn't look too good.

"Hey, you alright punk?" She asked the girl, putting a webbed hand on top of her head. "Don't tell me a little spin like that dragged ya down? We still gotta go out and see the rest of the surface."

"The _market_." The girl punctuated her words with a tight grip on Undyne's arm. She barely felt it, honestly. The human was about as weak as she looked. "We are going… to just the market…" She was taking deep breaths. Undyne clicked her tongue. She'd have to help this brat build up her stamina. At least Siesta could handle some heavy lifting… okay more like the light-weights, but still. Speaking off.

"Hey Siesta, what's in the market?" She looked up at the maid, seeing the human still cupping a hand to her mouth. Probably trying to stop a laugh, given the red blush she had. Looked kinda like Alphys when they watched those gushy anime shows. "Pretty sure the pinkette here can't talk straight right now." Undyne wished she could have predicted the groan the human holding her made.

"O-Oh, um, the market, yes… the market is the main location of commerce for Tristian, due to its close location to the castle." Castle? Oh sweet! Maybe they'd see the king or something. Be kinda weird seeing a king that wasn't Asgore. "You can find almost anything you need there, from food to weaponry. Most merchants open up stalls, but there are stores within housing as well."

"Sweet!" Undyne yelled, flexing her arm with the declaration. She felt the punk still holding her give a small yelp before standing up. Almost forgot about her. "'Bout time I get to see some other place you humans live. I was startin' ta worry you wouldn't show me the rest of the goods on the surface. Whelp, I'm ready to go when you are. No time like the present."

Undyne grinned down at the pink haired girl, said girl who was staring at the ground with her hair pretty much covering her face. If it was a shade darker, and it was night, and there was blood, then it would have been scary. For now, it was funny. Undyne didn't let her grin fall, she only felt it grow.

"Wonderful," Louise spoke through a groan.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Seriously though, I did put a LOT of thought into this. The very first thing I realized was one person wanting to kill Undyne would put the whole story away. So, after scoring over Undertale and FoZ for a logical, complete, and non-hand wave excuse, I found note one, but three good excuses. And like any good paranoid writer hoping to upset the absolute minimum of his read fanbase, I went with the best two of the bunch. Don't worry, you can find these excuses, too! And as the chapters come out, you'll see what they are.
> 
> If you are enjoying this story, and I want to see where it goes or ask me questions, try and jump on my Discord to talk with everyone else. You won't be alone, I promise.
> 
> discord.gg/fgeV4ra
> 
> If you're really into my stories, and I can't thank you enough for it, try and check out my Patreon to see if there are any rewards you'd like to participate in. Be one of the first and be one of my heroes!
> 
> https://www.patreon.com/WizardofWords


	5. Do You Prefer A Gold Or Steel Sword?

"Holy crap!" Undyne yelled without restraint.

Louise could have slapped herself at her familiar's stupidity. Apparently she had immense strength in all of her muscles, except the one that was undeniably the most important. She was so sure that perhaps the monster had a few working gears in her head when she agreed that drawing attention to herself was a poor decision. It made sense that bringing clear attention to an outlier in a crowd only drew in negative consequences. Yet here she was, yelling, before they had even met the crowd of the market.

"Undyne, calm yourself!" Louise spoke in a harsh whisper to her familiar. The monster looked at with a hardly contained grin. At least it wasn't quite as maddened as it usually appeared to be. "We agreed not to draw unneeded attention." She didn't bother to confirm if they did or didn't. Louise was more than simply positive they had.

"How'm I supposed to calm down when you got a place like that!?" Undyne shouted still as she pointed towards the gates to the market. Louise let out a slow patient sigh. Cold work the Steel of her blade. "It's huge! You could pile like everyone in the Underground into that place! I can't even see where the freaking walls end!"

As if to signify her point, she threw her arms out to their fullest. The cart they were in rocked with the effort. The traveling merchants and visitors jumped away from them at her voice, the children hiding behind their mothers' skirts and other clutching their purses tightly. The driver, thankfully, was the only one who had not reacted. Why, Louise could not tell, but he had her thanks regardless. Undyne remained blissfully unaware, the dense monster.

"And that castle! Holy heck! It's like the size of Asgore's, except it's not under a ceiling!" She likely meant the cavernous roof the Underground was situated under. Louise had to admit, seeing a castle underground would be a sight. "I mean geez, with the sun shining on it like that, it's no wonder you humans have got the good life up here! 'Specially when you have stuff like that just standing around!" Louise felt a proud smile run across her feature. It was well deserved.

"Yes, well, we humans are capable of much." Louise pushed stray locks of hair from her face as she spoke, sending them over her shoulder. "I am sure you monsters have your own achievements to brag about, but we Tristians have much in the way of – UNDYNE!"

Louise cut her words short when Undyne jumped off of the carriage.

The cart waved at the sudden force at it, a force that seemed great enough to propel Undyne off of the wood and well over thrice the cart's length closer to the gate. Louise felt herself get thrown by the effort of her familiar's monstrous strength. The horse pulling the wooden trolley rose in anger at the sudden force jerking it. It was with thanks that the carriage driver reeled in the animal, calming it with reigns and pats. Louise already felt her heart shifting at the numerous gazes focused on them.

"C'mon you slow poke!" Undyne suddenly shouted at her, mouth cupped by her webbed hands. It made her voice echo across the road. "I'm not waitin' long for you!" If her familiar had any sense towards her position, she most definitely would!

Louise bit her lip though, nearly tight enough to draw blood. The Rule of Steel demanded patience. No great blades were forged with a single hammer's strike. She needed to show Undyne the market and instruct her familiar on the rules of the land. She needed guidance… yes, that was what Undyne needed. Discipline would come when they did not have the collective attention of near every human on the road.

"Your payment. Thank you for your services." The rider bowed her head to her, accepting the few bronze coins. It was not necessary for her to do more than that. Stepping off of the carriage, she approached her awaiting familiar. Waiting like a dog that had been refused its daily walk. Louise walked past her and straight to the guards stationed at the entrance.

"I am Louise de Le Valerie," she began before either of the men could open their mouths. She had been through this gate enough to know what was required to gain entry. She was already sifting through her pockets for the appropriate items. "I am a student at the Tristian School of Magic, a second year. This is my summoned familiar, Undyne." She produced the papers as she spoke.

Louise pointedly ignored the glare she felt the monster cast at her. She could feel it like a dagger at her neck. Her attention, however, was better focused on the two men looking her over, one looking over the documents of her enrollment. The signatures of the nobles would be quick to confirm, so long as these guards were more experienced than common Plebeians.

"Very well, you may pass Lady Valerie." Louise gave the respected nod of her head to the guards, marching past them not a moment later. She could feel them stiffen as Undyne passed, not that she could pass much blame on them herself. Undyne was terrifying, especially when she was angered. But, as their few days together had also made clear, she was prone to change her mood on the flip of a coin.

Entering the market was one such time.

"Holy hell!" Undyne shouted as they entered the market proper. This time, Louise made no move to stop herself from slapping her face. It was a brief respite from the numerous gazes that fixated on them. "This place is freaking huge! We could be here for days tryin' to find everything! That's awesome!" Now her hand fruitlessly tried to claw her face off. Perhaps her embarrassment would be lessened if no one recognized her.

"Mommy, what is that?" Louise heard, with unfortunate clarity, a younger girl ask her mother the obvious question. She was one voice amongst dozens know that were muttering and whispering around her. She didn't need to look to know the child was likely pointing at Undyne like a thing.

"I don't know sweetheart, but it is not our place to question a noble's companion." At the very least the mother was informed enough to keep this from being too problematic, hopefully. Louise took a breath to cool herself, preparing to work her Steel.

She lowered her hand, seeing the many faces that belonged to the many voices. Farmers, merchants, Plebeians, even a noble or two, all staring at Undyne at herself. Undyne, who was standing to her tallest, wearing her absurdly light clothing, and hands outstretched as if she were attempting to grasp a tree's trunk. It took only a glance to see the near manic grin over her familiar's features. It was commonplace to her at least.

"How many stores do you have here!? There's like a million of them! How'd you even find everything you want!?" Her hands were waving toward the stores that lined the entrance, waving up and down the cobblestone streets.

Louise wasn't sure what concerned her more now. The surprise Undyne had for the simplicity of the stores or the growing crowd of commoners that were attracted by the monster's antics. It certainly did not help matters that they were standing only yards away from the entrance to the market, the very focal point of travel.

"And geez! Look at that huge road!" She must have been referring to the main road to her royalty's castle. Louise didn't have the tongue to explain its purpose now. "And it goes straight up to that castle! Man, that really does look awesome with the sun shining on it. That's a ton better than a bunch of glowing rocks!" And now Louise was lost again.

The crowd was doubtlessly getting larger. Eyes or ears, either could have told her that. It was getting harder to steel herself when so many were speaking of Undyne and herself, whispers turning into flat out conversations. The inconsiderate Plebeians, holding such public conversations about a noble right in front of her. Not even to mention the rudeness of insulting a foreign dignitary!

"Undyne, let us be off," Louise spoke as she stomped her way over to her familiar. Though she attempted to grab the web hand of the monster and move, she found it similar to trying to move a tree by holding its branch. She only succeeded in making her face steam with further embarrassment. "W-We have much to do and it is considerably inappropriate to draw this kind of attention."

"Huh?" Undyne made a confused noise, like she somehow hadn't noticed the crowd. "The attention… holy crap! There are a lot of people here!" Louise could only groan into her free hand as the crowd made a noticeably noise of surprise. Hardly a shocker given the volume of Undyne's speech. "Where'd they all come from? Where'd you all come from!?" She turned her question to Louise to a question for the crowd. Magnificent… truly, it was.

"It truly can speak."

"What is that? Is it a familiar?"

"What creature possibly resembles something as that?"

"Perhaps it is the noble's creations, an experiment of magic gone wrong."

"The queen should know then, or at least the princess-in-wait."

There were no longer any whispers, just out right conversation about them. Louise felt like she was back at the school, the students talking of her despite her presence, addressing her failures despite her strengths. She bit her lip, determined to not give into the anger that was boiling in her like molten steel. She was a noble, a leader to the commoners. She would not stoop to mindlessly lashing out at them for their ignorance.

BAM!

The sudden noise made the crowd give a collective cry of surprise. Louise felt the ground shake beneath her, her stance secure only by the grip she had on Undyne. Undyne… who had produced one of her spears and slammed it into the ground. The cobblestone was shattered into dust where the blunt end landed. Louise felt like screaming. But her familiar did that for her.

"Hey!" She shouted at the crowd, head turning as she looked at the Plebeians, giving eye-contact to all of them. "What kinda punks are you all ta talk about us like we're not even here!?" Louise was remarkably unsurprised to hear not a voice speak up to her question. "C'mon! You're all so cheery to speak up until I start paying attention?!" This bad. Very bad! If the queen received wind of this. Or worse, Louise's mother….

"Apologies! Apologies!" Louise began to say as loud as she could. She bowed towards the crowd, every direction she could face. "We did not mean to disrupt your days! Please excuse us! Please!" Louise wrenched her grip on Undyne's arm, pulling the monster with all her might. But she did little more than make Undyne flex her arm. She didn't even budge.

"Why are you the one apologizing?" Undyne asked her. Louise looked up at her familiar, scowl forming at the stupid question. She was met with Undyne looking down at her with a raised brow and her own twisted lips. It was almost as if she had twisted her normally wide grin. "These guys are the creeps!"

"Not now Undyne!" Louise shouts at her, rising to her toes just to get that much closer to the monster. It at least makes her familiar's blue nose twitch. "We'll talk somewhere else, not here!" She turned her attention back to the Plebeians that were staring at them, wide eyed and open jawed. She almost preferred the commentary. "Apologies again. Truthfully I am sorry." She gave another pull of Undyne's hand.

This time the monster followed behind, the bang of her spear disappearing echoing behind her. If the sound wasn't enough. Louise saw the jerk of the crowd that went in tandem with the noise. She could hardly fault them for being surprised. They didn't even know what her familiar was made out of…

It was a small grace that the crowd parted as she walked towards them, enough room for her to walk through. It felt like she was dragging Undyne, pulling at her familiar's arm with the intent to quicken their pace. It couldn't have been more evident that Undyne was walking at whatever speed she wanted. Louise just looked like a child pulling at her mother's arm. She clenched her teeth, almost hoping one of her teeth would crack.

There was almost a sardonic amount of glee that overcame Louise when she saw the end of the crowd. Her feet wanted to hurry towards it, but Undyne's lithe-frame-yet-hulking-strength stopped her. She was still stuck following at the monster's pace. At least now she could scowl without any of the Plebeians taking note of her lack of nobility.

She kept walking past the square, down streets that looked as if they had as few people as possible. She would have preferred walking right out and into the forest, but that would have only prolonged the inevitable. Steel did not prolong the inevitable. It wasn't until she felt the shadows of the nearby buildings looming over her did Louise stop.

"Finally," Undyne spoke in a gruff tone. Louise ignored it. "You mind telling me why you were taking all that crap from those punks back there?" She furrowed her gaze at the monster, waving her head until her pink locks fell over her gaze.

"It's because of you!" She shouted as she pointed at the monster. "It's because you were acting like a brute from the Elf lands without a bit of nobility! You were shouting and yelling and screeching like a child!"

"Hey! I was excited!" Undyne yelled back. Of course her familiar would take this in stride! Louise ignored everything else around them. All that mattered right was this monster's… insubordination! "'Xcuse me for pretty much fallin' in love with your town here. How was I supposed to know you humans would give me that dumb expression?"

"Common sense should tell you that!" Louise roared back. She threw her arms to her side, fisting her hands until they indented her skin. "Were the servants back at the Academy not proof enough how odd you are!? Can you not think of what you're very presence will do to others!?"

"Why should I be the one worryin' about what you guys think of me?" Louise grit her teeth at the absolute idiotic question. "I came here to get that rig you were talking about and to see the town! If the human brats are gonna whisper about me, so what? Isn't like it'd be the first time I scared some people."

"No," Louise spoke forcefully, teeth near grinding. Where Undyne any lower than the Captain of her Kingdom's Guard, she would have blasted her with the strongest fire spell ever conjured! "No, we are going to finish our errands hastily and return once you have proven you will not start a riot with your very presence! If that requires you wearing that blasted armor of yours in the heat of the day, then so be it!"

"Now that's just unfair, Pinky." Louise felt a tooth crack. That, or something in her head just tore itself. What was that name?! "I can't help it if you guys are all scared of me. I mean, yeah, I'm pretty scary normally, but c'mon! This place you got here is amazing!"

She threw her arms out again, yelling as she normally did. At least now they were blessed with not being near the central gate to the market. At worse only half a dozen passer-byers stopped to stare. Better than a number a dozen times that.

"The only place I can think of that compares to all this is the Ruins, cause even New Home's kinda lackin' when we're talking about full housing." She didn't even understand the problem, did she? The manic grin still on her face told Louise that she didn't! This… fish of a familiar!

"That is not the issue!" Louise shouted back. "You caused an uproar in one of the most populated areas of the market! That disrupts more than simply the commerce of the town. It can jeopardize the peace! If Her Lady Henrietta were to hear of this…" Oh no… "Oh what if she does hear of it?"

Louise felt the dread fall on her faster than she could see it coming. It was Plebeians she was worried about. Not her piers or even her teachers. But the queen herself, the princess… if either of them heard of this uproar in their market. Worse yet, if they knew she could not even control it…

"Whoa! Hey, you okay there?" She felt Undyne's webbed hands grab at her shoulders, easily holding her up. It was a pointless act. Louise was in no danger of falling over. She was just… overwhelmed. Who wouldn't be knowing that they had potentially ruined their relationship with royalty? "Seriously, you need help? I can get someone, I'm sure."

"No," Louise spoke again, though for a different reason. She held up what little of her arm Undyne's grip didn't hold down. She was reminded thrice over of the monstrous strength of the… monster. "I was simply… light-headed. Attempting to wrap my mind around your lack of intellect was simply harder than I expected." That got the Undyne to release her quickly.

"Fine, whatever, be a little stain about it," Undyne spoke down to her, down like she was some misbehaving child. Louise scowled up at the monster. She was greeted with a similar expression focused back on her. "Seriously, I came here to see the sights and have a good time. All I've got so far is a bunch of humans who don't know how ta be polite. You're included on that list." She pointed one of her scaly digits at Louise to accompany the insult.

The nerve of the monster! Captain of the Guard or no, that was simply… despicable! Did she not care for their relations? Was she truly intending on testing Louise in such a manner? Where she any lower in her kingdom's hierarchy, Louise would not have hesitated to blow the self-righteous figure back to that Underground she so proudly claimed to hail from! She was simply… no…

Louise took a long deep breath through her nose, lifting her head until her long locks fell behind her shoulders. She felt her cloak fall back as well. The most important change? Undyne took a step back without saying a word. It was enough. A single breath of air to calm the mind, like cool water on a heated blade. Necessary to craft the strongest steel.

"We are getting off track," Louise spoke simply. She included herself with the accusation, enough to earn Undyne's attention. "We came here with a goal in mind and senseless arguing is only delaying that." Facts. Facts were as undeniable as steel. By the way Undyne lifted her hand to scratch her head, Louise knew she was on the right track, finally.

"Well that's true," the monster admitted. "Can't enjoy the day if all we're doin' is yelling at each other." So she did have sense in her head. Not nearly as much as Louise would have liked in a Captain of the Royal Guard, but more than some power-hungry Plebian. It was a small benefit, very small.

"Correct. So, I propose we find a store that would suit a rack necessary to hold up your armor." Louise turned on her heel, holding a hand up as she spoke. She saw the commoners scatter as she turned, three or four of them at best. They were cowards, running so quickly. "I am sure it will be simple to find a store with the materials necessary to produce such a fixture."

Louise, in truth, wasn't sure of a store that could handle it. Undyne's armor was heavy enough to crack stone by its weight alone. Given her familiar's tendency to throw the black metal, whatever the structure was would have to be as tough as mithril! That was simply a ludicrous purchase. But… perhaps there was a way around it.

Undyne wasn't the most intelligent of nobles Louise had ever met. Certainty given her absolute lack of tack and proper manners, from sleeping to eating. However, if she were taught of the fragility of most armor racks… perhaps she could show some restraint. She was able to hold Louise close and unharmed for an entire night… under the sky… alone…

She shook her head at the memory. It was a stupid moment of weakness she should not have indulged in. Louise was more focused on the now, the here. She promised Undyne she would find a rack to hold her armor and she was not about to fail such a simple promise!

"Ya know, if you're thinkin' of a shop we can go look at, I saw a shop back there a lil' while ago." Undyne pointed over her shoulder as she spoke. Louise turned her nose at the suggestion. Knowing the brute that the monster was, there was only one shop she would likely have on her mind. It was logical, but its location was dangerous

"No," she responded simply. "The last thing we need is to march back into the heart of the market just moments after that… fiasco of yours." She heard her familiar click her tongue. She almost mistook it for a tooth cracking. But she ignored it. Only a few days and she was already becoming used to Undyne's ridiculous nature.

Instead, Louise tucked a strand of hair behind her ear as she trained her eyes forward. Her feet clicked as she walked down the cobblestone street. Undyne followed behind her, doubtlessly with her arms crossed and one good eye looking over the buildings. They were fortunate there were no children nearby, for Louise could easily imagine a brave youth running up to grab the monster's long red mane.

Louise realized the further they walked the more crowded the streets were becoming. Nothing near the entrance to the market, but far be it from deserted or simply unoccupied. More famous stores were popping up on the road sides. Jewelers, key smiths, enchanters, a few bakeries as well. There wasn't much of a pattern to their location. If there wasn't, it was unfortunately beyond Louise to realize it.

"Man, somethin' smells good." Undyne spoke up behind Louise. "Think we can come back here ta get a pie when we're done? That chef back at the school made some mean pasta, but now I gotta see how you are with sweets."

"If time permits, we can," Louise answered honestly. "But I am sure the servants are more than capable, not to forget willing, to bake you anything you need." She looked over her shoulder long enough to see the manic grin over Undyne's expression, the same wide lipped gleam that made her teeth shine with the sun. It made an uneasy amount of sense how the humans avoided them.

Louise stopped when she saw what she was looking for. There, a Tailor shop. Just at the end of the road. It would be perfect.

"See somethin' ya like?" Undyne asked from behind Louise, probably because of the hurrying pace Louise adopted. She didn't want to be on the streets for a moment longer with Undyne than was necessary. All she needed was the monster making another rude comment to the wrong person. Or worse, summoning her spears again… "Hey, this a tailor or somethin'? Gotta a lot of clothes?"

Undyne asked her question only moments before Louise pushed open the door to the shop. The bell chimed above them, announcing their entry. No attendants were currently on the floor, likely assisting someone in the back or preparing an already ordered gown. That was acceptable, as long as they came promptly. It gave Louise time to look over the store.

There was a large array of clothing lining the store. Simply adorned but professional tailored dresses that sat upon their mannequins. A few had rather elegant hats upon them, a novice's attempt to make the dresses appear more expensive than they were. Still, the gowns themselves looked well stitched and kept. Nothing worthy of royalty's presence, but quite enough for a day on the town or evening with a friend. It was… acceptable.

"Geez, this stuff is light." Undyne noted. Louise turned to see the familiar rubbing her webbed hands over one of the sleeves. "Stuff feels like it'd float away if weren't attached to these dolls. Probably a great way to hide some weapons, huh?" Truthfully? Honestly?

"Release that," Louse ordered first. "Knowing your strength, you'll likely rip the material." She could afford one of these dresses, but hardly another. Undyne let go, holding up her hands with a small grin. Small for her was still the furthest Louise could ever hope to stretch her lips. She settled instead for a small scowl at the monster. "And these are meant for strolls or light enjoyment. Not everything is tailored to be prepared for battle."

"Eh, that's your lose." Undyne noted, turning her eye back to the store. "Stuff looks amazing though. I bet Alphys would look great in that dress over there, too." Her blue scaly finger points behind Louise. She turns, curious to what the monster has deemed worthy to wear.

She's met with a literal polka dot dress. Polka dots… large white dots splattered over a black fabric. It appeared as well designed as a child throwing paint at a wall, which a maid then hastily disguised. It was, without a shadow of a doubt, a repugnant piece of fabric she refused to even entertain the idea of wearing. Alphys must have been low on Undyne's list of friends.

"I bet she'd be a knock out in that thing," Undyne continued on, marching up to the dress. Her boots sounded like her armor across the wooden floor, without the splintering and breaking. "Probably make her eyes sparkle and show off that tail of hers. Yup, everything she needs to build up that confidence of hers." She was being positive about it!

Louise could only gape as Undyne crossed her arms and grinned at the abhorrent mockery of fashion. She even looked please with it, staring at it with that mad grin of hers. Now her head was nodding!

"Yup, it'd suit her alright," she kept talking as if it wasn't some poorly managed joke. Louise was deathly afraid she truly wasn't joking. "Just have ta make it shorter and wider a bit and it'd be perfect!" Just what kind of creature was this Alphys? A midget of some form?

"Hello! Is someone here?" A voice called out from behind the counter. Louise turned to it, seeing the fabric to the back room wave. It appeared her earlier suspicions were correct. "I'll be just a moment! Promptly!" In truth, there was no rush, but it was nice to hear the store owner would not spite them for his current activities.

"Sounds pretty young," Undyne commented, having finally turned away from the blemish that was a dress. Louise felt a particular grace that she was not asked to purchase the… thing. "Guess you humans start working young, too. Given how old your two Profs were, I thought it was a monster thing to work young?" What was she going on about?

"Nonsense," Louise countered simply and neutrally. "It is very common to begin work at a young age. Many of the servants at the Academy are likely nearer my age than yours." That got Undyne to twist her head, raising her good brow at the comment. Was that truthfully so hard to believe?

"No kiddin'?" She asked. Louise was sure now that Undyne had either no concept of sarcasm or common sense. She had yet to see the monster express either. "Well that's good to hear at least. I was kinda worried you guys were either spoiled or lazy. Isn't often you're glad to be wrong, huh?" She flashed her bright smile at Louise, as if she hadn't just insulted the nobility once more.

Louise could only huff at her familiar's actions. They were truthfully becoming commonplace at this point.

"Finished! Excellent!" The same voice yelled from the backroom. Louise hid and buried any curiosity she had for what the tailor was working on. It simply wasn't her business in any manner. The curtain to the back room waved once more, this time brushed aside as a youthful boy stepped forth. His smile was impossible to miss, but still hardly a candle in comparison to Undyne's. "I apologize for the wait! How may… I… assist…"

And just as she feared, the tailor stopped dead in his tracks when he saw said monster. Louise sighed, taking the time to look over the young tailor. Young was the optimal word, as the boy looked to be younger than she was. He simply must have been the trainee of some master, a journeyman at the absolute height of his skill. He was not the owner of the store.

Though that much was obvious by his youth, he had the makings to show his work. His apron was adorned with stitches and needles, different clothes poking out from his multitude of pockets, and messy hair that likely was secondary to any tailoring job he was working on. Acceptable during the practice, very unprofessional otherwise. Louise wasn't too worried, though. She had many doubts Undyne would mind at all.

"Hey there!" Undyne nearly shouted, at least yelled, waving one of her arms as if they were outside. She waited for the monster to break the ceiling rafters with her action. "Did ya make all of these? There pretty good." The monster's hand thumbed towards the abhorrent dress as she spoke. Louise rolled her eyes.

"I-I apologize," the commoner began. An unsurprising response given the monster he was speaking to. "Um, yes, I did create that. I-It was an experiment of sorts, nothing I am overtly proud of." Louise felt like raising her nose at the Plebian. He could at least have confidence in his own work. How was she to trust a man's goods when he didn't have faith in them himself?

"Well I like it!" Louise, to her credit, only shook for a moment when Undyne pounded on her chest. The boom and shock was expected. The young commoner, however, jumped at the noise. "Show's you got a good eye! What's yer name punk? You got one, right?" Well of course he did! Louise rolled her head with the question. The groan was second nature after that.

"P-Paris," he stuttered out. "I-I am called Paris. This is my third year here and I have made three dozen dresses by my aptitude relies on repairing or altering gowns and men attire for special events that are short on time because I am more available than the store's owner is and so I have developed a great aptitude for repairing majority of the materials a-and using them to create new attire so-"

"Punk, chill," Undyne spoke as she put her webbed hand on the young boy, Paris as he was called. The contact made him freeze like ice. "I got it, you're not a newbie. Don't need the lesson on your history." Louise could see the commoner's eyes ready to bug out and fall away. Now was the time to step in.

"We are actually here to commission you for a more detailed task." Louise saw the boy's eyes relax as soon as he made contact with her. She was doubtlessly easier on the eyes than an imposing fish monster. "Specifically, we need a rack or mannequin that can hold up a suit of armor. The heavier it is the better."

"Wait, armor?" Paris questioned. Louise was not too surprised by that. It was not a normal request, attending a Tailor over a Smithy for such a commission. "Wouldn't you be better off with the smithy? I-I'm good with fabrics, not metal."

"That is the reason I was looking for you." A half-truth, but not a lie. Embellishment at best. Louise ignored Undyne's crooked eye. "A smithy cares either for the application or the appearance, one or the other. A tailor, such as you or your master, will make sure the final product suits both requirements." She made out her familiar's smile gleam at the words.

"Basically want to make sure my armor doesn't sit on a bunch of twisted metal," Undyne spoke up where Louise ended. "Can ya imagine my kickass armor sitting on some lazy rack? That'd be a waste!" She didn't have to yell. Louise was honesty beginning to question if that was a true statement.

"I understand! I do!" Paris shouted back to Undyne. It was difficult to tell if that was fear or panic. Just as difficult was if Undyne's mad smile meant she enjoyed it or not. Both were high possibilities. "I am… only concerned about the cost and time." He looked towards Louise as he spoke. It was another difficult she was prepared for.

"I assure you I will pay the required amount," Louise promised. Her noble lineage would easily make good on a purchase such as this. It was a proper use for her allowance. "And though earlier times would be appreciated, I understand than a delay in return means an improvement in quality."

At the mention of the income, the boy's face lit up. Louise was well versed in hiding her disgust. Plebeians and nobles did indeed share one inexcusable trait. The love of money, no matter the method.

"Then I assure you I can have the project finished!" He spoke in an undeniably delighted tone. "A few measurements are all that I will need! The armor is for you, correct?" Paris pointed at Undyne, as if his fear of her before was just an act. It was painfully obvious to Louise that his excitement now was just that.

"Well, yeah, the armor fits me like glove. 't's eve got gloves," Undyne returned as Paris approached her, tape in hand. Undyne, thankfully, must have been through the process before. She held up her arms as he stood by her. "Get somethin' to fit me and it'll fit my armor."

"Of course! It shan't be a problem!" Paris returned, very excitably at that. He was beginning to remind Louise of someone she'd rather not devote willpower to. His closeness to Undyne did not help the comparison. "And your proportions are so easy to see. A frame as tight as yours will be simple to model for." Louise honestly was not sure if those words were complimentary or not.

But Undyne moved and twisted as was necessary without complaint, amazingly. Miraculously, she did not break any part of the store in her movements. Her arms did not knock over any dresses, didn't tear apart any support frames, and thankfully didn't destroy anything else. Perhaps this would be a straightforward errand, the hiccup at the market's entrance aside.

"Money talks, huh?" Undyne commented as Paris backed off from her. Her voice was so low Louise was sure she imagined it. Yes, it must have been her imagination.

What came next, unfortunately, was not.

"Hello young Paris!" Louise nearly jumped at the voice, her attention shattered by the sudden entry. She didn't even hear the bell ring as someone entered! "I hear you are home to the finest attire in Tristian, and I wished to… oh." The voice suddenly died off. Louise knew exactly why. She only had to glance at Undyne to see that the monster knew everything as well.

Louise turned to see Guiche standing in the shop. She saw him staring open mouthed at Undyne. No mystery why that was the case.

"U-Unydne," Guiche's voice faltered out, shaking like a scared babe. How typical. "I… I am surprised to, um… see you." That was putting it mildly. Louise was simply impressed the boy still had the courage to walk out of his room after the incident he had created.

"Same to you, brat," Undyne returned in a voice Louise was honestly impressed by. Namely that the monster was not screaming or threatening the womanizer immediately. That did not help the tension. "What are you doin' here? Tryin' to start something?" Louise was not sure what her familiar meant, but it was a far cry to think Guiche was in any position to answer.

"I-I am searching for… a gift." Likely not lie, but Louise knew her pier well enough that it could have been for any woman at the Academy. At least now more than half of them knew his true colors. "Would it be… presumptuous of me to ask… what you are-" Louise was already bored of this.

"No, you may not ask," she fired back at Guiche. The blonde turned to her, startled. Had he truly not even noticed her? He was a failure as a noble through and through! She approached him quickly, making him focus his full attention on her. "You can leave immediately, return once Undyne and I are finished. Is that clear?" She didn't want there to be room for discussion. She hated speaking to animals, anything between cows and snakes.

"But of course," he returned quickly, very quickly at that. He even bowed to her, thought likely just to hide the fear that was plastered across his face. It was more obvious than hot steel upon the skin. "I-I will return at another time, for certain. No need to create a conversation awkward, I-I mean an awkward conversation."

It was almost worth letting Undyne duel him, watching the proud Guiche bow to her like this. Almost. At least now Louise could finish her errand with her familiar and return to the Academy without issue.

"Nah, I think we should have a chat." Louise felt a groan rise from her throat. She had tested fate and it had backfired.

She turned away from the clearly shocked Guiche to see Undyne marching towards him, arms at her sides and webbed hands clenched. Armor or not, it was impossible to call Undyne anything but imposing. The mad grin she seemed to perpetually wear did not help, especially now of all times.

"I think we're goin' to go out back and have a bit of a conversation." She leaned in close with the words, stopping when her scaly blue face was only breath's distance from Guiche. "You and I got a lot to talk about, don't we?" It took that long for Louise to catch up to what the monster was implying.

"W-We do?" Guiche sounded very young with those words. Louise shook her head at the needless observation. The boy was shaking, Undyne was grinning, and it wouldn't be long before this turned horrendously bad!

"Undyne, cease that at once!" She yelled at her familiar, biting back the monster's relation to her. She needed the Guard Captain's attention, not ire. She got it, complete with a single golden eye focused on her. "Guiche is not worth causing a seen within the market, let alone in someone else's place of business. You have already tarnished his bronze name, there is nothing else you need be concerned about regarding him." Louise didn't care for a moment how deeply her words struck the noble boy. She spoke only truthfully.

"Hey, I'm not gonna fight him again. We all saw how weak this punk is compared to me." Louise felt her eyes widen as Undyne lifted and fitted her arm around Guiche, holding him close to her side. His hands immediately rose for the muscled scaly arm. Louise knew the futility of trying to move out of that grip. "This is just gonna be a talk. Ya know, a talk about how much he screwed up. That's all it's gonna be, promise. And hey, like I said, we're doing it out back."

Before Louise could raise a word of challenge to her familiar's actions, she turned around, shoved opened the door, and dragged Guiche out with her. The boy was hopping on his feet to keep pace with the monster.

"Undyne!" She shouted as the door closed, feeling her teeth grit. She would have damage to them by the end of the month at the rate she was doing this! "Here, for the rack." Louise hastily spoke, slamming her purse on Paris's counter. The commoner looked at it back to her, wearing a dumb expression of surprise. Louise saw many people, nobles and commoners alike, wearing that expression around her familiar. "Deliver it to Tristian's Magic Academy as soon as it is complete."

Louise left the store front not a moment later, ignoring the looks from the shoppers as she did so. She'd trust Paris to his word. If nothing else, she knew of his place of business. There were more pressing matters than a tailor's honesty at the moment.

She turned quickly out of the store, looking left and right as she did so. She only needed to see a passing Plebeian's face, shocked and slightly terrified, to know that she had seen Undyne pass. Louise followed her gaze to the alley, stomping to it. Only the reminder that Undyne was a high-ranking member of a foreign court kept her from readying her wand.

The alley was not as narrow as she expected, but still plenty enough to make it far darker than the main street she had come in from. Her boots clicked as she stomped down the dirty cobblestone, already hearing Guiche and Undyne. Another turn and she saw the, facing one another. It was just as obvious who was controlling the scenario.

"So what'd ya got to say for yourself, brat?" Undyne asked, voice snarling. Louise couldn't see the familiar, back facing her, but she could imagine that mad grin either at its brightest or twisted in disgust. Neither were easy things to look upon. "Care to explain why ya thought threatening Siesta was a good idea? I wanna hear it now that you don't have a posse to listen in on."

The gulp Guiche made was audible, deep, and created a slightly mirthful feeling in Louise. Inappropriate as it was to handle nobles in such a manner, seeing a proud womanizer like Guiche being put in his place… there was a level of gratification to it. Steel should feel nothing to which it strikes, but eve the Rules said that you should strike flesh, not bone.

"I-I would not have killed her!" Guiche spoke firmly, chest puffed out. Louise rolled her eyes, too used to the action being used to woo some unlucky first year. "It would have stained my honor as a noble to kill for such a petty reason."

"Sure didn't seem like that yesterday," Undyne spoke back. Her words had as much bite as her teeth looked capable of. The smile was not helping. Louise looked around to ensure no crowd was gathering as of yet. This was not something she wanted to be made public. "Actually, I'm willin' to be a scale you said you were gonna kill Siesta. Like multiple times."

"I did say that," Guiche returned. "But I said it to scare her, terrify her. I would not, under such petty circumstances, have killed her." Louise gave her fellow a noble a wary eye.

Guiche was always the sweet talker. But right now… he sounded different, sincere even. It was a welcome change, to be sure, but she could not pinpoint the exact cause for it. He'd been embarrassed enough to not have a simple duel put him over.

"He's likely telling the truth, Undyne." Louise felt both the monster's gaze and Guiche turn to her. She only looked at her familiar's, staring into the lone golden eyes she had. Louise put her hands to her hips before she spoke on. Steel needed a good base before it could stand. "Guiche says a lot things. I dare to say no one will say more in the entire Academy. But you'd be fortunate if half of what he says he does."

"Oh come now, must you be so cruel, Zero?" Louise shot him the gaze she had learned from her mother, with a narrowed brow and raised nose. She took pride in the flinch the near-bare chested noble made. "I-I hardly speak falsely in the way of flattery. I would not dare to insult a woman's charms with… poor words." Louise was hardly convinced of his innocence by those words. It was highly unlikely Undyne would be more lenient.

"Then you were gonna kill Siesta." Undyne took a clear step forward, towering over Guiche. Louise moved to stop her, but saw it was the only motion her familiar had taken. It was enough to put her scaly face above Guiche's staring down at the second-year noble. "Just cause she outed you for some pathetic love quarrel."

"I-I say again!" the blonde returned, louder even. Probably trying to muster up his own courage in front of Undyne. The very idea made Louise smirk. A noble afraid of her familiar. It was perfect. "I would not… I would not have hurt her!"

Louise watched with no small amount of mirth as Undyne leaned closer to Guiche, her scaled features hovering just above the boy's terrified expression. She wished a painter was here to memorialize the image. Her memory would have to do.

"Then yer gonna have ta walk me through what you were thinkin'," Undyne finally spoke, releasing a breath of air through her nose. Guiche must have felt it, because it made his face shake. That, or he was trying to regain his composure. He was not made of steel though, only bronze. He would shatter if dented. "Cause the closest I can get is your lyin' to me now to save yer hide from another beating in the future."

"I… I wanted to scare her," Guiche began. He had to look at the ground to speak. It surprised Louise hardly at all. She took the pause the boy made to look around. Thankfully there were no trespassers yet in the alleyway. They were still alone. "She had insulted my honor and… I had no guarantee she would not again. Words are petty unless you give something to them." Louise had to raise a brow at the comment.

"Wrong," Undyne spoke up, putting one of her webbed hands against the wall they were near. Louise could hear the brick and mortar churn at the contact. "Words are only bad if you've gotta reputation. Long as yer honest, then people trust ya. You're just admittin' I can't trust you."

"It's different here!" Guiche spoke up, loudly again. He attempted to glare at Undyne, but Louise was pleased to see her familiar hardly flinched at the sudden outburst. She just held a sneer over her lips, showing the finer edges of her razor-sharp teeth. "Words only matter as much as what's given to them. I can't promise Momorency a thing unless I have the gem to accompany it. Even my father is unable to show his loyalty without stipends to the king." Louise would admit his point there. Loyalty to the king only did extend as far as what you were willing to pay.

"Well that's dumb," Undyne announced. She leant away from Guiche, to the blonde's clear relief. Louise was watching Undyne too closely to bother watching her fellow noble nearly collapse on the ground. "I'm pretty sure Asgore cared more about what others said to him then what they gave him. Sides, pretty sure you can just give anyone anything. Can't take back a lie, though."

"R-Regardless, that… it is why I made no intent on the servant's life," Guiche spoke to return the conversation. Louise listened on, but she made not of Undyne's words. They would have to talk later, especially if she was going to meet this King Asgore soon. "She had nothing to give to prove her words, so… so I decided to scare her. If she was terrified of me, she would not dare to insult me or my honor again. Fear is easy to instill in Plebeians."

"I don't think you know how to stop yourself from digging your grave," Undyne spoke back, darkly. Louise even felt a small shiver up her back. If she felt that, from some strides away without it being directed at her, she could only imagine what Guiche was feeling. Judging by the way the noble boy was shaking, nearly falling, it was rather obvious. But it was enough.

"Undyne, he speaks truthfully." Louise had to stop herself when her familiar whipped her head at her, red mane seeming much like the end of a riding crop with the motion. Steel would not bend, however, to sight alone. "Fear is commonly used amongst the commoners. There is no better way to keep Plebeians in line then with a show of the force a noble is capable of." Even if her silence would have secured Guiche a fresh bruise, Louise could not allow it. Steel was weakened when it was marred with imperfections. Lies were anything but perfect.

"You aren't kidding, are you?" Undyne's golden eye shifted from Louise to Guiche, gaze as cold as her scales looked. "You both… you seriously think scarin' other humans is how ya stick together?"

"It is a matter of loyalty, not respect," Louise corrected. She couldn't trust Guiche to, not with how the boy was nearly collapsing in on himself. How any girl though he was a pillar of support was beyond her. "It is natural to respect those who have power greater than you, and the most straight forward method to this is simply to show those uses of force. Are you about to say you're any different, Undyne?" Louise crossed her own arms with the question. The answer was rather obvious.

"Heck yeah I am!" Her familiar shouted at her. That was not the correct answer. Louise felt her scowl deepen. "I'm strong, no doubt, but I don't go around threatin' ta crush you punks with any boulders! Closest I got was when I was telling this brat ta back off from Siesta!" She threw out one of her scaled arms told Guiche. The boy flinched from the act, despite the monster not even having an eye on him.

"True, but you hardly make an effort to hide your strength," Louise calmly countered. There was a time for steel to be heated, but this was not it. There were times when working in the cold could strengthen the blade. "I have nearly lost track of the number of items you have destroyed, intentional or otherwise. I am far from expecting they will be the last." She waved her hand over her shoulder with the words. By next week it was likely Undyne would break the Royal Vault, given her path thus far.

"Hey, I don't break nearly as much stuff in the Underground," Undyne defended, pointing a finger at Louise. She stared at the scaly appendage, observing it as she imagined she would the tip of a blade. "Not my fault you humans make such fragile junk. Sides, monsters respect me cause I talk to them, relate to them. There ain't a single monster that looks up ta me cause they're afraid of me."

"I'm having difficulty deciding if you are dense, arrogant, or some unholy combination of the two," Louise fired back, arms crossed and eyes narrowed. She could see the sneer on Undyne's face grow, showing off the yellow teeth even in the shade of the alley. It was intimidating to say little else. "But your poor mannerisms aside, you simply must realize that we are not monsters such as yourself. Your crass behavior does not meld with ours. I am doing my utmost to understand your people, perhaps it is time for you to do the same."

Louise ended her lecture with a point of her hand, aiming it at Undyne as she would her wand. She knew the power of words, the steel they could hold. She didn't need a tool to threaten Undyne if she could defeat the monster with words alone.

"You all think as backwards as Sans does about hard work." Louise wasn't sure if that was a compliment or an insult. Given the displeased look pulling at the monster's scales, it was clearly the latter. The look was made only more intimidating by the light shadows of the alleyway. It nearly made Undyne's eyes glow. "But… dammit, you're probably right."

Louise blinked as Undyne backed off from Guiche, standing over the boy again. She towered over Louise. Her webbed hand scratched the back of her head, looking more displeased than anything. But if her words were to be believed, she was… beginning to understand. Perhaps she would begin to see the benefits of the nobility then, understand the difference between them and the Plebeians.

"Hey, don't take this as me forgiving you." That single sentence dashed Louise's unspoken hopes.

The bang and sudden appearance of Undyne's spear shattered them.

Guiche stepped back, letting out a yell of surprise. Louise felt her body stiffen at the sight of the tall spear, matching Undyne's height and glowing in the darkness of the alley. Even this close, even for a second time, she could not fathom what exactly made up the spear. It could have been anything from water to lightning… the idea of the later terrified her.

Though, in fairness, not as much as Guiche was with the spear being turned on him, point first at his neck. Louise raised a hand to her own neck at the sight. The mad grin Undyne had adopted helped matters even less.

"Even if you throw every excuse you humans got for threatening one another, I ain't gonna buy that it was necessary for ya," Undyne scolded Guiche still. Louise spoke not a word from the side. She could hear the boy trembling with the point of that magical construct against his throat. "Cause where I'm from, there isn't an excuse for threatening anyone. Sorry ta say I can't accept that."

What was Undyne going to do then? Spear Guiche? Harm a noble? This was no sanctioned duel with witnesses abound. This was an attack in the back alley with only herself to vouch for either Guiche or Undyne. This was the most unideal situation.

"So you're gonna have to show me you didn't mean it." What?

Undyne pulled back her spear from Guiche, the playboy nearly falling to his knees in relief. He was wise enough to not take his eyes off of Undyne at least. Louise didn't think she could if she wanted to. Relief truly came, however, when Undyne's spear fell apart, turning back into… whatever made it up. When it was gone, Undyne had her arms crossed again, looking down at Guiche. Louise could see the muscles even through the scales and in the dark. The lack of clothing on her arms helped…

"Don't get started with taking this the wrong way," Undyne started to speak again. Louise crossed her arms as well. They were getting tired hanging at her side. "But if I just start attacking humans like you, I'll probably cross a line and screw things up for Asgore when he gets here. Soon as the big man shows up, he'll be able to sort out all this 'justified fear' or whatever the hell you want to call it." She waved her webbed hand in the air as if she were dispersing smoke. Louise couldn't see it, but she imagined those fanged teeth of her familiar were turned into a scowl.

"It appears… you're taking your role as an ambassador seriously," Louise remarked. Perhaps it was a bit harsh of her to say, but given the lax attitude of Undyne, this seemed rather thought out to her. Far more planned than… that impromptu sleeping on the roof! "Did something that I'm not aware of?"

"Nothing's changed punk," Undyne shot back. With the small twist of her head, enough to just show off her one good golden eye, it was hard to say anything else. "I'm just listenin' ta what Asgore told me. Give everyone a chance." Hmm… cowardly words, but necessary for royalty at times. Louise knew those were not words the Captain of any Guard should think, so told the Rule of Steel.

"I… I-I thank you Lady Undyne," Guiche began to speak. Louise could feel her familiar's brow rise with that. Mostly because she felt her own. It was… quite the title to give to Undyne, lady… "I understand the difficulty in… I-I appreciate your patience." Louise wondered for a moment what he was going to say. Whatever it was, he must have put some actual brain power into realizing it was a bad idea. The Rule of Steel awarded small steps to making a stronger blade.

"Yeah yeah, you're happy I'm not guttin' you. That ain't a surprise." Louise was little surprised by the offhanded threat to Guiche. Disappointed beyond reason, of course! But at this point, it was as easy to see coming as the grin on Undyne's features. "You still got a lot of making up to do if you want any kind of good grace, brat."

"Then where may I begin?" Guiche asked. Louise was impressed he didn't fall over himself asking the question. Given the spoiled noble she knew, she was impressed he wasn't groveling for Undyne like the lapdog the blonde was. "I will do whatever you believe will show my commitment to my word."

"Careful Guiche, your humility is showing," Louise poked at her friend from behind Undyne. Just because Guiche was acting a tad bit more mature did not mean he was a proper noble yet. He was still a brat with a silver spoon in his mouth. No Rule of Steel guided his path. "If you keep it up you may miss a skirt to chase."

"I wou… I am more concerned with her Lady Undyne than any maiden at the moment," Guiche responded. It wasn't hard for Louise to finish his first thought at all. "Unless you speak of my lovely Momorency."

"Kid, you're diggin' a grave deeper than the Underground," Undyne spoke up. Louise could only imagine the tightness of Undyne's jaw, given the way she seethed those words. However, Louise was left staring at the long red mane of the same color, reaching the small of the monster's back. "I don't even have a clue how you'd start ta make this right."

"I do! I… I do." Given the way Guiche shouted and jumped with the declaration, it was impossible for Louise not to see that her classmate had been preparing for this. She felt her face fall in disgust, a sneer worthy of Undyne's expressions crossing her face. The only thing missing, she believed, was scaled on her face and teeth the size of sword tips. "I believe I know how to earn your good grace again. Simply, I know how I shall rectify my unjust acts."

"You want to make it up to me?" Undyne asked what Louise thought. It was hardly that much of a surprise, one Louise admitted she should have seen coming. Still… she was sure the stigma of her name would keep away such things. Guiche, however, looked undeterred.

"I do," the boy spoke with his chest puffed out once more. A more boiled side of Louise wanted to push it back into place. She steeled herself, however. She would not lash out so brazenly. "I make my vow to honor Siesta's health and mind next we meet, but I also wish to thank you for your mercy and kind words. I believe I will be able to treat you to an item of your choosing." Louise stared at Guiche.

"Buying her good will?" Louise asked the noble, unable to hold back her sneer. "Did you not listen when she spoke of how unnecessary that was? How it only solidified your untrustworthy nature? Or was her head once more filled with 'pillows'?" Louise had no need to explain the word further. Its double meaning was only too commonly well-known given her time around Kirche.

"N-No," he stumbled. A poor like at that. "I… I wish to honor a member of a foreign court! My actions will change, I assure you, but I do believe that purchasing an item of your choosing, one worth your grandeur, would only show my good will." His focus changed from defending himself from Louise to pleading towards Undyne. A part of her realized the ironic nature of the exchange, but chose to ignore it. One of them was feared and the other respected. Both often came hand in hand, just as Guiche spoke.

"Well, hard to say no to a free gift," Undyne let off, crossing her arms under her chest. Louise only had to glance to see the manic grin once more over her familiar's blue scaled face. It was just a hair more terrifying in the dark corners of the alley. It did not help that her eye appeared to glow. "And you're serious about apologizing to Siesta, right? I didn't just hear ya spout that for nothing." Undyne still had her arms crossed.

"I swear that I will," Guiche spoke up earnestly. "Even I am made to degrade myself before the school, I will apologize to the maid for my behavior towards her."

"Good, good so far," Undyne was nodding her head, like she was appraising livestock. Louise had no intention of speaking the justifiably humorous and accurate act. "Gotta ask though. What are ya expecting to get out of getting on my good side?" That was a question not even Louise was prepared for. Apparently though, Guiche was.

"Your respect and forgiveness," the boy spoke, folding one of his arms over his chest. It was the customary solute of soldiers. It made sense for him, given he was the son of a general. "I challenged you when you were clearly my superior in magic and I have insulted you with my words. I hope to show you my intent to make my actions against you right, so that you may forgive me and come to see me better than when we first met."

He had to have practiced those lines. No doubt about it. Louise knew Guiche was easily the most well-versed of the students at the Magical Academy when it came to gossip or monologue, but no words in there were superfluous. The purpose was obvious to see, his intentions as clear as glass, and his voice far from the usual overdone farce he paraded with. Louise had to blink at the boy she still thought so little of.

"That's a nice speech," Undyne noted, arms folded over her chest again. She was looking down at Guiche from the bridge of her nose. Louise could tell she was showing off those fangs of hers again. "And that's all ya want from me? Just some respect?"

"It is," Guiche replied hastily. Not a stumble, but hardly as smooth as his words were before. Louise found not being the center of attention oddly welcoming. "And I recognize that my actions have sullied my chances to do so. So I am willing to purchase for you a gift you deem suitable for yourself, whatever it may be."

Louise jumped when Undyne clapped her hands together. In the enclosed alleyway, it sounded as if the Musketeer Squad had fired all their muskets just inches from her ears.

"Good enough for me!" Undyne shouted. The blue monster took the step necessary to move closer to Guiche, grabbing him by the collar of his robe before giving her mad grin to him. "Guess that means the gifts are on you, huh? Better be willing to saddle up, cause I'm gonna need a really sweet gift if you wanna break even with me."

"W-W-What is that?!" Guiche shouted, leaning into the colossal grip Undyne doubtlessly had on his shirt. Louise was moving towards her already, fearful of what the effect her strength could have if she were to 'accidently' apply it to the noble scoundrel. "D-Do you want my clothes?" Louise stopped when Undyne reared her head back, laughing. Genuine laughter.

"Your clothes? Those things look 'bout as comfortable as my armor in the middle of a fire!" Undyne shouted back. Louise was having trouble deciphering where her cheer began and torment for Guiche end. "Nah, I got somethin' else in mind."

Without wasting a moment, Undyne turned and started to walk past Louise and out the alley. He dragged Guiche by the collar of his robe. Louise reacted immediately, as steel would when challenged.

"Undyne!" she shouted at her familiar. "What do you think you're doing?! Dragging a noble- anyone is completely undignified!" The scaled monster didn't even stop, only slowing to give Louise a mad grin and gleaming eye. Louise had to quicken her pace to keep up with her.

"Chill punk. I'm not hurtin' him," Undyne dismissed the act so casually, with just a wave of her hand. Guiche, trying and failing to stand on his feet, was not set at ease by her words. Neither was Louise calmed by them. "I just saw a shop a lil' ways back that's probably got the perfect kinda souvenir for me. If Goldie here is gonna be good on his word, then I'm taking him there before he forgets." She didn't stop walking, not even as Louise put herself in front of the monster.

"I am very sure Guiche is more than capable of walking on his own!" Louise shouted at Undyne, the familiar only giving her a mad grin in return. The look made Louise's temples throb in pain. "I am just as sure he will have no difficult in following us there!"

"Yea, probably," Undyne admitted, but clearly didn't relent. "But this is more fun!"

She spoke the words while giving a slight pull on Guiche's collar, lifting the noble into the air. His feet scrambled for the cobblestone, looking for footing. But as soon as they were found, Undyne gave another quick yank of his clothing, sending him backwards once more.

"Sides, if we wanna get serious on this, I'm just payin' even for literally scarin' Siesta half ta death." Those words made Guiche cease his efforts to escape. Louise even stalled her pursuit of Undyne, though never taking her eyes off the monster. Undyne, however, looked down at Guiche, who tilted his head to look back up at her. "If ya can't take a lil embarrassment in the crowd, I'm gonna have a hard time believing you'll be sincere with that apology of yours. Not like anyone's gonna call ya weak, not since I'm pretty naturally scary." Louise made only a small note of how aware Undyne was to her nature amongst human.

"Undyne," Louise began, staring at the monster without an idea of the best words to say. "That is one of the most abhorrent ideas I have heard in a long while." They only made Undyne's mad grin widen even further.

"Don't worry that pink head of yours. It's the perfect idea." Louise could hear her familiar chuckling. "Sides, I don't hear Guiche complaining. He gets through this, then I'll call us even!"

Even after they reentered the market square and came across the unfortunately familiar looks and gasps of surprise. She was able to give Guiche a look of remorse as he stared up at her, trailed by his shirt and feet dragging under him.

Louise was worried for a reason she couldn't quite explain.

Undyne was excited for a reason she knew explicitly why.

Sure she was being stared at like there was tomato on her face, but that didn't really bother her. And yeah, the human she was plucking along was shaking hard enough for her to feel it through the grip she had on his shirt. That was pretty normal for these fragile guys though. Nah, those were all well and good, but there was only one reason she was excited right now.

"Where are we going, Undyne?" The pinkette spoke up next to her. Undyne could tell the little punk had to hustle to keep up with her, but points for effort. She didn't look too happy about putting in the effort though. "I have difficultly believing you know where you are going." Did this brat think she was stupid or something?

"Punk, I'm not bad with directions." Undyne spoke up in return, not slowing down as she gave the human an odd look. "I know right where I'm going! We walked by the shop before!"

"Because you know the Market so well, a place you are visiting right now for the first time." Undyne may not have had the most refined of pallets, but she could taste the sarcasm in the human's voice. She felt her grin grow as she stared down at the pinkette. The other humans in the crowd starting giving her a wide berth when that happened. "Yes, just a few hours for your first visit and you apparently know the land so well that you are willing to drag a noble by his collar."

"Better than putting him over my shoulder, right?" Honestly, Undyne didn't know. Would that be better? Maybe these brats preferred to be carried like they were ten. She got her answer pretty quickly though.

"I'm fine!" The punk she was dragging called up. Undyne didn't slow even as he said that. She did look back at Guiche, the blonde human looking up with a pretty scared expression. A lot of the humans they were passing looked the same, but with hands over their mouths. "Th-this is non-ideal, true. B-But I prefer to being carried! Yes! I am satisfied with this!" Well who could say no to that motivation?

"See? We're all good!" Undyne straightened her grin as she looked at the pinkette. Said human was scowling at her pretty viciously. Her teeth were too small to mean much though. Not nearly as sharp either. "Sides I know right were to go! We passed the shop I want something from before we ran into this clown." Undyne didn't really care that Guiche flinched in her hand. She must have dragged him over a sharp pebble or something. Fragile humans.

"We passed the… Undyne, you're going to ask him for steel?" She didn't need to sound so surprised about it. Undyne gave a snort as she turned another corner, ignoring the way the humans jumped away from her. They were all pretty weird like that. She almost couldn't wait to see what would happen once Asgore showed up. They'd be running for the hills!

"Yup!" Undyne announced cheerily. Her grin only broadened until her good eye was squinting. Hard not to when she was right about where she wanted to be. She recognized the hammer and anvil, the shut off windows, and of course the barrel she had kicked into oblivion. Typical fragile human stuff.

But hey, that didn't matter right now.

"Blondie here is gonna buy me a sword!" Undyne lifted the human by his collar, light as a feather but definitely stiff as a board. Had all the intelligence of one, too.

"A what now?" The punk spoke like he was confused. Undyne had no idea how that was possible. This seemed pretty straight forward. She was literally holding him in front of the store! Not like he could turn around and look the wrong way. "A sword? Those are common gifts for nobles, u-usually given more out of expectation than anything else."

"Kay, awesome," Undyne responds. Honestly, she didn't care what these humans did with their gifts-that-weren't-gifts. She just knew what she wanted. "But the only sword I ever got was some scrap metal put together by Alphys ta impress me. I wanna see if your human swords can top that! It better be the kinda sword that can cut a rock in half like it's nothing!"

Undyne slams her free fist against her chest for the effort. She was already used to the shouts of surprise from the humans around her, the crowd of them. Just as used to the pinkette groaning at her, like the punk was more upset than impressed. Kinda hard to ignore the way the boy flinched in her hand though. It felt like he was trying to latch himself onto her arm. That would be really weird.

"U-Undyne," the human boy spoke as he uncurled himself to look up at him. Kinda reminded Undyne of those spikey animals, hedgehogs or whatever. "I… cannot promise we may find a sword like that. But, on my honor, I will purchase for you the finest sword the shop has!" Heck yeah, he was finally sounding into it! That was a heck of a lot better than that pompous attitude he had before.

"Right on, punk!" Undyne agreed, dropping the brat. He landed on his feet, shakily of course. Humans really were weak. Undyne had to remind herself of that when she slapped her hand on the boy's shoulder. He gave a quick yelp. Had to have been of surprise, cause Undyne barely put any force into. "Pay me back like that and I'll consider it step one to showin' your honest 'bout before. Sound good to you?" She made sure to smile. Her usual disarming smile.

"Y-Yes, of course…" He spoke as weakly as he felt in Undyne's grip. Typical. Determined one second then gone the next. Undyne snorted as she removed her hand, heading towards the smithy. She gave the pinkette her usual smirk. It only made the pink haired brat glare at her. Better than that dumb look most other humans gave.

"Whelp, let's get to it!" Undyne declared, taking strides towards the shop. Guiche flinched as she passed, but quickly gained pace. Good on him for not freezing for too long! Better than she could say for the pinkette. Looked like she just got woken up from some crazy dream. Pretty fast change from when she was annoyed.

"Wait! Undyne! Let me go first before you-" And ruin Undyne's chance of seeing the shop first? Not hardly! Sides, the pinkette got first dibs already!

So, with a twist and latch of the door handle, the door flew open. The very fact the door didn't blow off its hinges made Undyne grin madly. Sure, it made a big bang and made the old human sitting across the store jump, but it didn't break! This guy must've been good at his job!

"AGH! Monster!" He shouted at her. It made Undyne grin, even as he reached for one of those blades of his.

"You bet I am!" Undyne declared, putting her hands to her hips as she stood in the doorway. "And I'm here ta see what you got!"

"You'll take nothing from me!" The old dude shouted again. Undyne's grin fell a bit. That was weird. Most of the other humans seemed pretty eager to sell, especially when the pinkette was up front. The thought almost made her want to slap her face.

Of course this dude was freaking out. Undyne didn't have any money!

"Hell, relax will ya," Undyne softened her voice, even as she dropped her grin for an annoyed scowl. Just as much teeth, not as much glee. She even felt her fins lower on her head. "I got money your stuff, alright. So unless you're gonna show off that sword, calm the heck down." That got him to hesitate at least.

"You… really?" Geez! Was it so hard to believe she wasn't some bum on the streets? These humans, if they weren't shocked she could do a basic workout, they acted like the world was ending if she had a bit of common sense. Really, Asgore was gonna have a lot of work on his hands when he got here.

"Yes! My purse for the day is right here!" She turned around and pulled in the blond brat, ignoring the shocked looked he had. It was pretty much the go to appearance for these brats, not to mention the crowd outside. "See?" Somehow, that only made the old man's face fall again. Undyne could practically hear the metal strain as he gripped it. Kinda funny considering how lanky the dude looked.

"Are you threatening the lord's life?" The lord? Good lord! It was one thing to be thick, but stupid, too? It was getting more and more difficult to take these humans seriously. At least the anime Alphys showed her had them acting semi-rationally, at least in a fight. "My lord, if you run, I swear to protect you! I shall!"

"She is no threat to you," the blonde punk spoke up. He must have been getting serious or something, because he was doing that weird thing he did yesterday. Whatever it was, he was at least looking confident, at least from the back. "I have dishonored this maiden with my words and now, as a proud noble, I am simply paying her reparations. It is through her kindness that she has allowed me this honor, to restore neutral ground between us. Please, will aid me in this endeavor?" Undyne was lost beyond words.

The main reason, the old human looked like he was taking in the punk's words like they made sense! It was just a bunch of weird gibberish to her, the stuff in those books that Alphys would read alone at night. The second reason was just how well the dude was eating it up. The heck!

"Oh my lord, I apologize." There was that lord crap again. What did it mean? "I-I meant no offense. Its sudden entry and declaration, I-I was so sure that-" Was he calling her an it? Really? Undyne felt her fist clench, ready to bring out a Spear of Justice for this human. At least the Guiche brat caught on quicker than this old fart!

"If this is true then please begin to show us your ware." The punk's hand waved at the store as he spoke, that robe he wore waving with the effort. "I see you possess a multitude of fine blades. I am certain one of these will befit this Knight's honor." Was he calling her a knight? Well that was a hell of a lot better! Maybe this punk was getting some things through his skull.

"Of course, of course! Please come in!" The human's attitude changed on a dime, weirdly again. At least Undyne knew she was getting used to it.

She took steps into the smithy, immediately feeling the heat of the store hit her. It was almost amazing she didn't feel it earlier, but maybe that was still standing a bit outside. Whatever, that wasn't the important. What was a bigger deal were all the swords. She had to admit, it was more than she was used to seeing.

The practically made up the walls. They were sitting in buckets, hanging off the rafters, lying on shelves, or just propped up against the walls to show off what they were made of. She could only make out a few spots of brown where the wood was made up. A part of her bet if she tore down all the walls the roof would still stand cause of the sword number. Best not take that bet right now though. She needed a sword, not a bunch of humans screaming at her. Or, more specifically, one human.

She felt a tug on her arm as soon as the thought crossed her mind. Turning around, she saw the pinkette glaring up at her. Her foot shut the door to the shop without ever breaking contact. Speak of the devil…. Wished the Angel worked that way.

"Something wrong, punk?" Undyne asked, looking down at the human. "I didn't break the door."

"Not for a lack of trying," the pinkette shot back. Oh c'mon, she put effort into not breaking it. "But that is beside the point. Why are you allowing Guiche, the… scoundrel, to purchase you a gift!?" Louise whispered back harshly, all but dragging Undyne's face closer with her grip on the monster's thin clothing. When had she done that? "I am more than… I can find you a sword suitable for your needs." What, was she jealous or something?

"Duh! Cause, you already got me that sweet armor rack!" Undyne pointed out, touching Louise on her head. The single flick of the finger was enough to send the noble back, reeling. She kept her grin up, knowing the punk was made of sterner stuff than the most of the humans. At least a little. "Sides, if this brat is serious about making up with Siesta, then I can call this a trial at least, right?"

The face the pinkette made up at her pretty much screamed the opposite. It looked like the expression she made when she said she was made of magic. Undyne wished she knew a good word for it, cause the only one she had coming to her head was 'done'.

"How about this sword, my lord?" The old man's voice got Undyne's attention. She turned to see the geezer pulling out some ridiculous blade. She blinked, walking closer to get a better look. The blonde punk must have heard her coming, because he lifted up the sword when she got closer.

It looked like it was made out of gold. No, scratch that, it looked like it was made out a freaking treasury! The blade was gold, the hilt was bronze, there were jewels all over the damn thing, and it even looked like it had some wicked expensive decal work done on it. It looked like those bones Papyrus would give her all the time. All it was missing was the bow!

"Do you like it?" Undyne looked up at the man, seeing him look more at the brat than her. Figures. He was the one who had the money. "It is a grand blade that would catch the eye of any noble that crossed your path. I'm dare to say that it would strike fear in your foes as greatly as your wand."

"There is no doubt this is a magnificent blade," the punk spoke up. He looked up at Undyne holding the blade outwards to her. Wasn't until she got a good look at his face that she realized he was sweating to hold up the sword. Wuss. "What do you think Captain Undyne?" Well at least he was being real with her title.

She grabbed the hilt of the blade, twisting it until she was holding it in the air, straight up. The old man put on the average human expression, dumb and shocked. Figures. She ran one of her smooth scaled fingers up the length of the blade, feeling it glide across it. That was good. But the longer she held the blade, the harder it was to hold. That was bad. Sure as hell wasn't because she wasn't strong enough. Heck, the blade felt like one of the sticks form Asgore's garden. Nah, it was just cause the blade had no grip to it.

"It's pretty wicked," Undyne spoke up. "But this ain't the kinda sword I'm lookin' for." She held out and dropped the blade to the old human. He caught it, but it looked like he was gonna fall over. Couldn't he handle the stuff he made? "That thing doesn't have a grip on it, meaning it'll fly right outta my hands. Not only that, I'd bet money one good swing of it would shatter the stuff. Gold looks awesome, but I know from experience it's a pretty soft metal." She let out a breath of air through her nose, remembering exactly how she found that out.

"What did you do, bite it?" Undyne whirled around at Undyne, her red hair hitting the blonde human in the face. She ignored his cry of surprise. All she cared about was the self-absorbed look the pinkette was wearing. "Oh, I'm correct, aren't I? Figures you would try such a barbaric method to test your strength." She was gonna laugh, wasn't she?!

"Shut up!" she yelled at the pinkette. "I just did what I saw a lot of guys doing to gold in stores, bitin' the stuff to make sure it was real! How was I supposed to know my teeth would go right through it?!" That really wasn't her fault. Gold was just a wimpy metal. It wasn't like steel or anything kickass like that.

"Haha! This lady's got ya beat old-timer!" Undyne lost her grin. Who the hell said that?

She looked around the store, seeing no one else but the three humans. She looked down at the pinkette, but she only had the same confused expression Undyne was sure she was making. She was looking around, too. A look back the blonde punk showed he was just as surprised. The old man…

"Shut it Derflinger!" He yelled at… a barrel. "Don't you go scarin' off a noble customer!" Okay, humans were weird, Undyne got that now. But were they crazy.

"C'mon, are you afraid I'm gonna out shine the rest of these guys? Not like I'm going to ruin your golden opportunity." It was impossible to ignore the groan and way the old human grabbed his head at the voice. It was just as impossible to note that the voice was real.

Undyne found herself blinking at the barrel. Now it was a barrel, definitely, filled with swords, no doubt, but it also had a voice coming from it, somehow. She was walking towards it before any of the wimps of humans could tell her otherwise. Last thing she needed was the pinkette or blonde punk making some comment. The old human seemed to stop only for a second. When she reached into the barrel, she grabbed the first sword she saw.

It had a golden hilt, but actual leather around the grasp. Meant she didn't have to worry about throwing it out of her grip. That was a good plus. After that, it was long, about as long as that golden sword, but this time with steel! Human steel, not scrap metal from the dump. But… it was rusted, like really rusted. Did that even it out? She wasn't sure.

"Quite the grip you got there." Undyne didn't drop the sword. She didn't. It was pure instinct and her great battle techniques that had her throwing it into the wall of the shop.

Every sword along the wall fell down with the effort, making a deafening ring throughout the shop. She heard the humans behind her scream, but that didn't matter. None of those blades were falling on them! Sides, did they not just see what she did? That freaking sword talked!

"Hey, got an arm, too. Good thing I'm made of stern stuff, huh?" It was still talking! Undyne stepped over the blades that fell to the ground. Didn't matter they were cracking under her boots. Had to be the wood, metal wasn't supposed to be that weak.

She stopped, a final crunch, when she was just in front of the weird blade. With a good yang, she ripped it out of the wall, holding it in her hands. Her good eye was looking it up and down, staring at to make sure she hadn't gone completely crazy. These humans were weird, so maybe it was contagious. That'd be bad.

"Somethin' I can help you with, buddy?" Okay, she wasn't crazy!

"Holy crap you talked!" Undyne screamed at the sword. There wasn't much else she could do aside from holding it to her good eye. "You're a freaking talking magic sword!"

"Three for three there, guess you got a good eye for detail," the hilt of the sword spoke, making some annoying rusting squeak sound as it did, like it was laughing or something. Undyne would have been annoyed if she weren't so amazed. It was a freaking magic sword!

It was a literal Angel-delivered magic sword! That humans had! They had magic weapons! Awesome! Super awesome! She felt awesome for just holding it! If this was the kind of stuff humans made, it made up for all the other weak sauce they had! Holding this sword Undyne felt like she could take on an army! No, screw that, two armies!

"What have you done to my shop!?" The old human started screaming. Both of the punks next to him were looking at her with that dumb human look. Oh yea… there were a lot of swords on the ground.

"It wasn't enough for you to knock my swords to the ground, you had to break them, too!?" Wait, she did that? She thought it was the wood. Undyne lifted up her boot, looking at the shattered steel beneath her. Huh, guess they weren't that strong after all. Least the magical talking sword was! That made it all worth it! He'd understand that!

"Hey, don't sweat it!" Undyne grinned to her broadest as she walked up to the human. Must have had a good head on his shoulders, cause he got quiet when she got close. "Sorry, bout the damage, but I'm not gonna trash your place and run. Cause I'm gonna be taking this baby with me!"

She held up the magical sword in her hand, grinning with a victorious pose. She must have looked pretty awesome holding it like that, cause the rest of the humans in the shop got real quiet. And that was just from her holding it in her hand!

Undyne could only imagine how badass she was gonna look holding this thing up in her armor, her Spears of Justice raining down from the sky. If she was scary before, she'd be terrifying now! She couldn't wait!

"Heh, not used ta being called a baby, but with a grip like yours, I guess I can roll with it," the sword spoke again, making Undyne beam at the metal work. "Good thing I'm made of stern stuff, or you'd be breaking me in half."

"You… want this blade?" Guiche asked like it was an unobvious question. "It seems… crass…" Like that mattered!

"Are you kidding me?!" Undyne yelled at the punk, feeling her teeth show through a gleaming smile. If there was ever a reason to smile, this was it! "This is a freaking talking magic sword! If this is common for you guys, congrats! Cause we don't have stuff like this in the Underground! This is fins down the absolute best thing you could get me!" Heck, she could feel herself just getting pumped up for this blade! If just holding it felt like she was ready to pick up a mountain, then she'd bet a tooth that if she swung it around she could destroy one! No trouble at all!

"Aw, I'm touched," the sword spoke up. It's every word just made Undyne grin more and more. "Makes me glad I'm made of pretty stern stuff." Almost every word made her grin. But still, there was no denying that this was a hundred times better than any simple sword. What the heck could have been better than a magical talking sword! Even super human steel wouldn't have topped this!

"Well, if the Knight has chosen her blade, it is no place of a simple man such as myself to deny her such a choice." Undyne was so happy she could easily ignore the brat's super obnoxious speech. Heck, he was paying the sword for her! That gave him free reign for a few words at least. Yup! That made sense. "Store Owner, I will be purchasing that blade!" the blonde turned to the old man, raising a hand like he was pointing at the sky.

"That is excellent my Lord!" The store owner sounded off. That was just like the last few humans they ran into, the ones managing the stores at least. "But… there is a small problem to be addressed."

"Oh, what is that? Is the weapon not for sale?" Oh, that'd be one heck of a bummer. Undyne could already feel her shoulders falling at the idea of it. She'd have to give up this super talking magic blade? Yeah, she couldn't take it if it was the old human's… but still.

"No no! Take that damn blade, you'll be doing me a favor and a service my lord." Well the old dude did seem pretty happy about it. Then what was the problem. "But… the damage to the rest of my shop… requires compensation."

Oh yeah, all of that.

Undyne looked back at the sword that had fallen to the ground. They were steel, ya, but given the sword the old geezer showed off the first time, some of them probably weren't meant for doing much more than looking good over. That was a waste of good metal. Old man was paying for it now though.

Cause a good number of the swords were chipped along their edges, scraps of metal scattered around the store. That wasn't even including the blades Undyne had crushed under her boots. Wasn't her fault the metal was so freaking flimsy, breaking with something like a single step. There was one, two… five… ten… a few dozen… they were lying on top of one another.

Damn, they really were weak. Totally the opposite of how she felt with her sword right now!

"Well, that sucks," Undyne spoke simply. She didn't let go of her kickass talking sword though. She was definitely gonna get this thing. Oh yeah, the brat guaranteed it earlier! "Whelp, thanks for taking care of this punk!"

Undyne gave the blonde brat her brightest grin. She could see him given a horrified look. He looked pretty terrified, but something told Undyne he wasn't really scared of her. Funny that.

"W-Wait! Me?! What am I supposed to pay for this?!" He asked pretty loudly. Did he have to scream that? It would've been cool if he wasn't asking a simple question. It was an obvious one, too! Geez, were all these humans really that dense?

"Duh, cause you promised to pay for me, remember?" She pushed one of her free digits to her head, shifting the talking sword till it was slung over her shoulder. A part of her wanted to stick out her tongue and put on a smile. Mostly cause it would've looked pretty cool, but given the attention span of these punks, it probably would of just confused them. "So we're gonna take off now."

Undyne turned for the door, giving the pinkette by it a ready nod. She was pretty thrilled to see the small punk giving her one in return. Heck, she seemed really happy… especially with that leering gaze at the blonde punk. Was there something going on between them? Eh, didn't really matter.

"You can't be serious?!" Guiche yelled again. Was it really that big of a deal for him? Undyne didn't understand why a human would make a promise that like that and be surprised they had to keep it. At least he pinkette seemed pretty damn determined about what she said. "Th-This is far more than a few weeks' worth of allowance! I won't be able to get anything for my lovely Momorency! I-I'd have to ask my father for money? That would… it would be disgraceful!" Really, asking money from your parents was a bad thing? These punks seemed pretty young for them to start worrying about that junk.

"A noble goes back on their word Guiche," the pinkette spoke up. She had a pretty bright smile on her lips as she said that. Undyne mimicked her, then added to it! Good on the punk for finally looking happy! "So I too thank you for your kindness Guiche. We will see you back at the Academy!" With that, the pinkette left the shop.

Undyne turned and gave a thankful wave to the blonde punk with her webbed hand, talking sword still over her shoulder. The brat, he had… quite the expression on him. Undyne shut the door to the smithy as she left. It was impolite to leave doors open to the outside. No sooner did Undyne feel the sun on her face then did she feel her already happy grin grow.

"Shall we head back then, Undyne?" Said monster turned to look down at the pinkette. Kinda impossible to miss the way the punk was smiling, especially with the sun beaming down on her. The look suited her.

This really was an awesome day!

The sun was shining down on her, she got to see a human town, learned about how scared humans were of her, the pinkette bought her a new rack for her armor, got the blond brat to apologize to Siesta, eventually, and she got a kickass new magic talking sword!

Did she say awesome? Nah, this was perfect! She felt perfect. Undyne felt like there was nothing that could stand in her way, monster or human! How could anything? Holding the sword in her hand felt like she was gripping the sun! Double the awesomeness! Man, even the talking sword… oh yeah!

"Hey, what's your name again?" Undyne asked the blade, pulling it off her shoulder and looking at it. She caught the pinkette giving a glance as well. Her and about a few dozen humans that were staring at her with that typical open mouth look. "Think I heard it before, but I can't remember."

"Ah, yeah, we weren't introduced," the sword spoke up. Undyne felt her smile grow. She really couldn't be disappointed in anything while holding something like this! "The name is Derflinger, Derf if you want to cut it short." Not even that crummy pun got her down!

"Derflinger, that sounds like a Germanian name," the pinkette spoke next to them. "I cannot think of a Germanian mage capable of crafting a sword like that. At least none that the cow hasn't bragged about."

Undyne looked at her for a moment, but the punk was already looking forward again, flashing those papers and coins at the guards. How'd they get to the gate already? Actually, no, who was a cow? Did cows talk up her? That'd be a whole new weird.

"Eh, might be, didn't exactly name myself," Derflinger spoke up again. Undyne watched the hilt move as it spoke. It creaked, a little or a lot. She couldn't tell which one it was given how brown the rest of the blade was. Maybe it just needed so good old elbow grease to get that junk off. The Angel knew she had that to spare. "Buuuut it's been a while since I came outta the smithy. Can't even tall ya how long I've been rusting away in that barrel."

Undyne turned her attention away from Derflinger, barely, when she felt a shadow wash over her. It came and went quickly, but she looked up regardless. It only took that much to remind her that they were already moving out of the market and back towards that Magic School place. If the giant archway of stone behind them wasn't clue enough, then the fact that there was a sudden lack of stores should have been. The pinkette was even waving down one of the carriages, the lazy punk. Still, it meant she'd have alone time to appreciate her new buy!

"Well I can't believe I found a kickass sword like you!" Undyne shouted, as she held up the blade into the sky. She felt like one of the heroes in those human documentaries, getting ready to smite some evil robot! Even the pinkette jumped around in surprise. "I bet we could take on an army together! No, screw that noise, we'd be able to take on the world!"

"Ha! Now that's the kinda talk I want to hear from a partner!" The sword cheered back with her. Undyne was almost afraid her grin would loosen her scales with how broad it was. She could even hear a few of the humans muttering to one another. Her teeth must have been gleaming with the sun like the rusty sword was! "Nothing to stop us and with enough determination to do anything!"

"Oh yeah!" Undyne yelled back. She was right, this was the perfect weapon for her! When she started swinging Derflinger with her spears, oh man, it was gonna be something worth a song, maybe even some kind of super story! "That means you're gonna have to become a part of my training! I'm gonna have to see what it takes to cut down a tree! No, a rock! No, an entire mountain!"

Undyne could feel it, she could feel it! It was like when she held her spear in that stupid fight against the blonde punk, but even better! It wasn't just the sun helping her out now, it was a magic talking sword that was just as pumped up for a fight as she was! Better Derf than the pinkette.

She had to look at the pink-haired human, the mini-punk shaking her head as she spoke to one of those humans on the cart. The rest of the humans were giving them a pretty wide berth. Course they were, they couldn't handle the awesomeness of a monster handling a talking sword! She bet if she yelled louder, they'd run for the trees! Yeah…

"Seriously though, I'm pumped up that you're gonna be fighting with me from now on," Undyne spoke up as she held Derflinger, gripping the sword with the same strength she'd eventually use to swing it… soon. "I thought you'd be weirded out by me like the rest of the humans. Can't tell ya how many of them are afraid just ta look at me."

"Well why would I be weirded out?" Derflinger asked from Undyne's grip. "This ain't the first time I've seen a monster."

…What did he say?

Author's Note: Guess you can call this a 4th of July special, but that's only half the fun! This would've been out later, but my brother and I channeled our inner Undyne's and burned down our apartment. G0996 says I'm a firebender though. So either I'm fighting for the monsters or my honor. Both are wins!

But yeah, this was fun. Give a chapter or two, then we'll see how you guys like the plot. I'm hoping that all this set-up will keep you intrigued enough to keep going on!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you are enjoying this story, and I want to see where it goes or ask me questions, try and jump on my Discord to talk with everyone else. You won't be alone, I promise.
> 
> discord.gg/fgeV4ra
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> If you're really into my stories, and I can't thank you enough for it, try and check out my Patreon to see if there are any rewards you'd like to participate in. Be one of the first and be one of my heroes!
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> https://www.patreon.com/WizardofWords


	6. The Most Tsundere of Musketeers

"Undyne, stop at once!" Louise yelled the command, uselessly, as she trailed by her familiar. She was jogging to keep up with the monster's brisk pace. "You have to slow down at once!"

"Hey, maybe you should listen to the girl, partner," the sword in Undyne's hand spoke up. It was hardly audible given the way it was swinging in Undyne' grip. Louise could only image the strength the monster was using to hold it.

Louise didn't need to think of the students that watched them as they passed. She wasn't concerned with their looks of terror or wonder. She didn't care because they weren't important. There was only one thing that was important right now.

The literal path Undyne made as she stormed into the Academy.

The earth she walked over was indented. The stone paths she crossed were cracked as if dragons had fallen on them. A wall she didn't bother to move around was now chipped and in desperate need of repairs. But as Undyne continued to march, Louise was afraid the worst was yet to come. After all, her familiar was still moving!

"Undyne! At least tell me where you are heading!" Louise near desperately called again. She was not desperate, even as she jogged in her uniform to keep up with the monster. She was concerned. "If you do not tell me why you are doing this I cannot help you."

"It's a bad idea to ignore a pretty lady, partner," the sword in Undyne's hand spoke again. Louise would have been complimented were the words not coming from a sword. And where she not trying to stop Undyne's cataclysmic path. "You've almost got me worryin', too. Sure you don't wanna stop and have a good talk?"

"Oh, we're gonna talk," Undyne finally spoke. It was more accurate to describe it as a growl. "Just with someone who should really hear what you have to say!" Now it was a roar.

The noise was matched with Louise's fellow students ducking in fear. She couldn't blame them, not with the way her familiar raised the magical sword into the air like some kind of captured flag. She was still doing her utmost to decipher what, exactly, had angered the monster so much.

But she had to think fast, or else Undyne would jeopardize her status. Many of the students at the Tristian Academy were from foreign nations. If a dignitary, the ambassador of the monster, harmed them… it would doom relations before they even began!

"Hey Siesta!" Louise shifted her gaze to where Undyne was looking. She saw the dark-haired maid her familiar had saved the day prior. The maid made a point of rushing over to Undyne, despite the monster already putting her brisk pace to use. "The bald guy that was with the rest of the brat when I showed up. You know him?" Louise, horrifyingly, knew exactly who Undyne was referring to.

"Oh, Professor Colbert?" The maid returned politely. Louise was still trying to catch up, already winded from trying to match the monster's pace. "Yes, his quarters are on the third floor of the academic hall, over there." Her hand pointed towards the tall building behind Undyne. The monster turned to look at it. It gave Louise enough time to see the mad grin across her blue scaly face.

"Perfect, thanks a lot!" Undyne responded, putting her free hand on the maid's head. Louise saw the maid's head fall and face go read, not to mention the wide eyes. Given the force behind the hand on her head, Louise was more impressed the maid was able to stand at all. At least now she was almost there.

"Undyne, stop this moment and-" Her words fell on deaf ears as Undyne took off towards the building, differently. She wasn't taking a brisk pace, she wasn't even doing a light jog.

Undyne was full on sprinting towards the building. Her footsteps were making the ground shake. Then, after maybe a dozen earthquake inducing strides, Louise watched her familiar jump.

It may have been more accurate to say she was flying.

"Here I cooooooome!" Undyne yelled as she sailed through the air. Sword in hand, doubtlessly yelling itself, her arms were out, waving them like a soldier that had fallen from his castle's walls. Louise only stared up as Undyne barreled towards the stone exterior to the Academic building. She expected what came next, but it didn't make it any less horrifying.

She slammed into the wall. The yard thick of stone wall fell away from the force of the monster hitting hit.

Louise paused for a full moment, staring at the fresh hole in the Academy walls. Not a door way Undyne had blown apart or a simple chip she had made from not paying attention to her own strength. Undyne had literally run through a wall to create a hole. A hole at least three stories higher than the proper entryway.

"She's a stupid fish," Louise found herself muttering, anger quickly replacing the dull void of acceptance Undyne was unintentionally developing in her. "She's a dumb, inane, useless fish that has only her kingdom to her name!" Her voice grew louder with the words. It was the perfect moment for her to continue running.

So she did. Pumping her arms, regaining her strength, Louise took off for the Professor's office. She only hoped she got there before any other student or faculty.

"Madame Vallière! Has something happened?" The maid asked in a doubtlessly panicked voice, following Louise with a raise of her dress. Louise herself would not slow down for a commoner to keep pace with her. "Why is Undyne searching for Professor Colbert? Is there something she has found?" There was no way the reason for Undyne's actions was as simple as that. The commoner was simply making reaching conclusions with little information.

"There is simply no way it is so simple." Louise countered. She was running without restraint now. Any of her students who blamed her would be quickly silenced once they heard who she was chasing after, if they could not see the hole in the wall. "That blasted sword must have said something to anger my familiar!" She pushed opened the door to the professor's tower running up the steps no sooner it was open. The maid followed behind her.

"Angered?" The maid asked again, her voice echoing over the stone. "But she didn't… the sword was magical?!" Of course the maid would not have realized that. Louise could not falter. Unless it talked that rusted blade was as magical as Louise's left shoe.

"It is," Louise responded between breaths. They were close to Professor Colbert's office. She could see the light from the hole Undyne made when she jumped through the wall. "It apparently had a lengthy conversation with Undyne when we left the Market. Whatever it told her, it kept her silent the whole way back."

Louise ascended the last set of stairs, thankfully. She recognized the hall, having walked it to Professor Colbert often. She didn't see Undyne yet, because the professor's room was around the corner, at the front of the building. The stairs were located in the back.

"But upon arrival, she rushed ahead of me and now here we are." Louise didn't listen for the maid's replay. If she didn't understand a noble's word, she wasn't meant to understand it. What mattered now was stopping Undyne. "So after I stop Undyne from assumingly assaulting a _Professor_ , I have to find out what that damn sword said to anger her so much!"

Louise turned the corner at the end of the hall, nearly sliding into the next wall as she did so. As soon as she did, she saw her scaly familiar in the middle of the hallway, standing in front of Professor Colbert's door. The sword was still in her hand, and her mouth was set in her usual mad grin. That was never a good sign.

"This it?" She asked aloud, likely to the sword. Her one good eye was on the other side of her head.

"If I say yes, will ya stop running?" At least the sword didn't' appear any more thrilled with the situation than Louise was. Speaking of, this was far enough.

" _Undyne!_ " She yelled as she stormed up to the familiar. The gap in distance between them meant nothing. The familiar heard her, as was evidence by her twisting her head. "Stop whatever inane act you're planning now! You've caused enough damage to the academy without this-"

Louise finished her words with a quick scream. It was the obvious reaction when Undyne kicked down the Professor's door.

There wasn't even any ceremony to it. Louise simply watched, mid-speech, as Undyne lifted her boot and drove it forward. The door, made of hardened and treated wood, able to stand musket fire without issue, was blown away as if a cannon had been aimed at it. The boom and shockwave of wind that accompanied it sounded no different. Even the maid behind let out a yell of surprise.

"Founder's name!" A voice yelled out. Louise recognized it instantly. She didn't bother to yell it out, Undyne stepping into Professor Colbert's office. Louise began to run again posthaste, the maid quickly following her.

"U-Undyne!" Professor Colbert yelled out. Louise made it to the remains of the door in time to see that he was okay. He was leaning back in his chair, gripping his wand and staring up at the monster with wide eyes. The remains of his door were scattered about the room, heavy planks of wood turned to scrap. Papers, nearly innumerable in amount, had fallen to the floor in the process.

Said monster had her back to Louise, sword raised, and was uncharacteristically silent. What in the name of the founder was happening?!

"Undyne, stop!" But Louise was too late.

Undyne swung the talking sword downwards. Louise let out a yell as she looked away. The maid behind her did much the same, much louder and with much more force. She didn't even hear Professor Colbert.

All she heard was splintering wood, a boom, and silence. But… that was it? Her mother had told her that in actual battle it was impossible to be quiet, let alone make a clean kill. There would be… gratuitous noise and smells and… so much more. So… what happened?

She dared a peak, looking up to see what horror her familiar, the monster, had wrought. Louise only saw a multitude of papers flittering about the room, falling from the force Undyne had generated. That… and the talking sword they had acquired from the smithy imbedded into Professor Colbert's desk, to the hilt.

"Ah, ah, ah, partner. I know I bragged about being' made of heavy stuff, but you gotta give me a bit of warnin' before you do that." The sword almost sounded as if it was groaning. Louise could hardly fault it, slammed into the table as it were. A table now bare of any parchment, quills, or other materials. Those were all in the air or on the ground.

"Founder's name… a talking sword?" Louise looked up at her Professor. It was amazing to her, how focused he was on the sword and not the several silver coins worth of damage Undyne had caused… again. "I have only ever heard rumors or read articles on such devices." He didn't even bat an eye as he shooed a piece of paper off of his head.

"Impressed, huh?" The sword spoke again, rusty hilt squeaking with the effort. "Can't say I blame ya. I'm a one-of-a-kind blade!" And the sword had apparently forgotten it was embedded a yard's distance into the wooden desk. Were it not for the Rule of Steel, Louise may have believed she was the crazy one.

"Hey, baldy! Pay attention!" Louise whipped her back to her familiar. Did she… was she being serious with her words?

She dared to sneak a peek at Professor Colbert, only to see the noble had dropped his wand on the desk in favor of looking over the blade. His glasses had fallen over the bridge of his nose, making him look up at the scaly monster with an unreadable expression. Just behind her, the maid had her hands cupped over her mouth. It was the polite way to hide one's surprise.

Louise, however, did not bother to hide her scowl of disgust. She recited the mantra for the Rule of Steel, calming herself despite the very justified stances for her rage. This was her Professor's quarters, not her own. Any sign of outrage or disobedience would reflect poorly on her and her skill. She had to be calm, collect, or else she would not be seen as the noble magician she knew she was.

"Attention… to what?" Professor Colbert asked breathlessly. He gaze shifted about the room, as if just taking note of the damage the monster had caused. It was either fear or respect that kept him from badmouthing her familiar. Louise would have to reprimand the monster herself, later. "Is this fine blade not the cause for your… entrance?"

Louise had to briefly wonder if Professor Colbert was a practice of the Rule of Steel. He seemed almost blissfully ignorant to the wanton destruction of his lab space. That was enough to remind her that he was not. The Rule of Steel would have demanded recompense, not forgiveness.

"Yeah, Derf here is why I'm here." Derf? Must have been short for Derflinger. What a very… Undyne thing to do. Louise held her tongue though. "But awesome as it is that he can talk, it's what he's talkin' about that you need ta focus on."

"Interested in what I've got to say?" The sword asked as if he weren't the literal topic of the conversation. "Can't blame ya for wantin' ta hear more, but I'm not the _swords_ of guy to talk a lot." If that was his normal manner of speaking, Louise only wished that statement was true.

"Yeah, well you better make an exception, cause if you know jack about the monsters, you're gonna have to start talking!" Monsters? The sword knew of the monsters! If Undyne wasn't so brutally honest with her words, Louise would have sworn she was lying. But… the sword knew of the monsters!

"Aw partner, is that all you care about me for?" So the blade did know of them! "Wouldn't ya rather enjoy a fine blade like myself without knowin' all the baggage I carry?"

"Derf, you're the most kickass and badass blade I'm probably ever gonna see!" Undyne yelled in response. It was entirely unnecessary. "But if you think I'm gonna just let the rest of monsters wander round the surface without me, yer outta your mind!"

"Hey partner, I don't mind helpin' ya find your friends. Be a great trip for me," the sword responded, hilt squeaking with the words. Louise said not a thing as the conversation continued. Professor Colbert and Siesta were much the same. The conversation was vital to hear every word of, even if they were having it in the Professor's room, destroyed to near beyond repair by Undyne. "But how'm I supposed to do that? I don't exactly got the _hilt_ for it."

"Cause what you got," Undyne started, pointing one of her scaled fingers at the sword. "Is what this guy needs." She twisted her wrist to point at Professor Colbert. Louise followed the hand as if it were a sword itself. Her Professor ended up pointing at himself in the confusion.

"Me?" He asked aloud. It was a question Louise was curious of herself. "I will confess that I never have enough information, and an enchanted blade such as this would be a wealth of knowledge, but why would you believe that-"

"Cause you're helpin' me find the rest of the monsters!" Undyne interrupted Professor Colbert, naturally, with a roar. It silenced Louise's teacher, but it made her grit her hands tightly. Undyne would be receiving an unworldly scolding after this. "And Derf here says he remembers them!"

"He what!?" Louise yelled before she could stop herself. She marched into the room, dignity a temporary secondary concern in place of what Undyne had declared. "That sword remembers your kingdom?! How? Professor Colbert has yet to find anything in even the Academy's impressive library. The very idea that a rusty blade in a smithy's back barrel knows more is insulting to the Professor's intellect and dedication!"

"Thank you Louise, but there is a lot of text to read," Professor Colbert spoke meekly from across his desk. He was rubbing his head awkwardly. Why? He had no reason to be ashamed. Undyne was the one announcing ludicrous things.

"Well, I'm an old blade," said sword declared from his fixed state in the table. It had not a single human feature about it, but Louise could tell it was grinning with its words. "But I'm a bit harder ta _read_ than an old musty book." Oh Founder, that was truly terrible. This sword was the worst! Guiche had the better end of the deal, staying back at the market.

"I'm not tryin' to read jack about you!" Undyne roared again at the blade. Her mad grin was wide as ever. Her arms were raised and fists clenched. Even the scales across her arms seemed to strain with the effect. "I want ya to start talkin' about what you remember about the monsters! If baldy here is half as smart as everyone is makin' him out to be, he'll find the rest of the monsters with that!"

"I could?" Professor Colbert asked. It was an honest question from Louise as well. Undyne, however, twisted her head fast enough for her red mane to whip. Louise could not fault her Professor for faltering under Undyne's golden eyes and gruel grin. "I could! Of course, yes! Any more information will make searching for the entry for the Underground all the easer."

"That so…" the sword spoke, trailing off. It was likely in thought. But that meant now was the best time to situate herself, especially if this was to turn into a lesson of sorts.

Louise grabbed a nearby chair, lifting and righting it. She was forced to push a few of the Professor's parchments away, something Undyne was going to apologize for later… after they had heard from the sword the supposed history of monsters. Taking her seat, Louise saw the maid enter the room and stand behind her, quiet and respectful.

"Well, let's see what I can remember," the blade began to speak again, rusty hilt swinging as it spoke. Louise crossed her arms patiently, sitting still and silent on her offered chair. She did her best to not look at Undyne, the monster leaning over the sword like a shadow-draped mountain. "It was a really long time ago. Pretty sure I was shinier back then, probably hot off the smithy."

"So you possessed consciousness shortly after being forged?" Professor Colbert spoke up quickly. Louise was becoming used to Undyne breaking everything in her path. For her Professor, it was to be expected he'd interrupt with questions. There wasn't a reason to fault him though, he did share his intelligence just as much as his kindness. "Were the flames then possibly influenced by Elfin magic or were the coals used having a higher quality? Maybe a noble possessing a square class earth magic in combination with a highly skilled fire mage were able to use the necessary components to-"

**_BAM!_ **

"Hey! No distracting the sword!" Undyne yelled at Professor Colbert, pointing one of her scaly fingers at the professor. Her free hand was planted into the Professor's desk, leaving a very clear indent, of course. Louise watched, furious but unsurprised, as Colbert stared down the finger with wide crossed eyes. Undyne's grin was just as unmistakable. "Kay. Now keep goin', Derf."

"Thanks partner," the sword spoke again. "I was afraid I was going to have to answer another twenty questions. Rather sleep another decade then have that." It was almost ludicrous, Louise realized. A literal sword made of steel and magic was breaking every commandant of the Rule of Steel her mother had taught her.

"We'll you're gonna have to keep talking if you don't want to sleep for a lifetime!" Undyne moved her webbed hand from Professor Colbert to the sword, gripping it into a fist. Louise knew that scaly blue ball of muscle and bone could break down the stone walls of the Academy with enough blows. "Cause you're probably the only link we got for finding the rest of the monsters!"

"Finding them, didn't they go underground?" The sword's hilt moved to ask the question. Louise blinked at the question. That was where Undyne said the monsters were! Perhaps this sword did know something more than bad jokes. "Why'd you need me to tell you somethin' like that? Too afraid to _dig_ for the answer?"

It took Louise a full moment to realize the pun in the sword's words. When she did, she uncrossed her arms to bury her face into her hands. It was likely the removal of her sight that allowed her to hear the maid giggling beside her. Why was she still here? Either of them, in fact?

_Bang!Bang!Bang!Bang!Bang!_

Louise shot her head up as the sound rang above her. Any breath she had left when she saw what had happened.

In all of a moment's breath, hanging in the air like frozen fire, blue spears were hovering around the room. They sat like clouds in the sky, but hummed like far away thunder. There was no light, but they seemed to glow all on their own. They were long, sharp, and blue, just like the monster that had summoned them…

Did the monster truly not know the meaning of restraint!?

"O-Oh my," Professor Colbert sputtered out, his eyes wide at the multitude of spears that hung in the air. Undyne could hardly fault him. This was only the second time she had seen it herself. This… Magic casted without a wand, without an incantation, without _anything_. This was the result of being a monster. A monster not blessed with magic, but made of it.

"Magic sword that I can break with my bare hands," Undyne spoke to the magic sword, still embedded hilt deep into Professor Colbert's table. Louise could tell just by the sound of her voice that Undyne was giving one of her usual manic grins. "If you wanna live to see another century, you better start talking."

"Hey hey, I'll talk, we're talkin'," the sword returned. Louise held her tongue from yelling at Undyne. As despicable as Undyne's actions were… if not even the Professor sitting a yard's distance from her would speak, then there was no reason to. "But c'mon, I don't remember much in the first place. I know humans tend to forget stuff that happened a few years ago, and ya want me to think back some odd centuries? Kinda a tall task there."

"Then what do you remember?" Louise spoke up. She ignored the way Undyne's head whipped towards her, red hair spinning like it belonged on the end of a riding crop. The spears hanging in the air, humming as they were, couldn't be forgotten. "It is important that _I_ am aware of the history of Undyne's people. Understanding the history of another kingdom is the most efficient way to build strong relations."

The Rule of Steel was specific to her in this case. You could not make a strong sword if you did not know the contents of the iron. You must be aware of what is being used if the strongest steel is to be made. She could not forgo knowledge of the monsters, of Undyne's kingdom, no matter how old it was. If nothing else, it would impress her king when they met. Louise ignore the warm feeling that rose to her cheeks.

"You heard her," Undyne spoke up, eye gleaming like her teeth in the sun, as she turned back to the talking sword. "Start moving that gab of yours." Gab? Louise didn't know the term.

"Okay, 'kay, somethin' simple then," the sword began. It was odd to Louise how the sword sounded so… relaxed. It was like it didn't even care that it had potentially a dozen magical construct spears being aimed at it! Rusted steel like it was in serious risk of being broken. "Probably the easiest thing to remember is all the fighting. Be bad if a grand sword like me forgot a good battle, huh?" Battle?

"A battle between whom?" Professor Colbert spoke up now, leaning over towards the sword. Louise took a glance at the maid still standing against the wall. Even she was leaning forward, dark hair curtaining her face from the angle. "Infighting between rival clans? A dispute in property lines?"

"Nah, he's probably talkin' about the war against the humans." Louise whipped her face to Undyne.

"What?" She spoke before she could catch her tongue. "A war against humans, a war… did you not say that you were trapped Underground?" That is what she said. Louise would not forget something so simple and important as that.

"Nope, my partner's right," the sword spoke up. It was far too cheery to say such damning words. "There were tons of humans, all of 'em fighting against monsters." That was even worse. "And let me tell ya, if monsters could bleed, it woulda' been a blood bath!" That was the worst.

"You can't be serious…" Professor Colbert spoke. Louise could not help but agree. A war of such magnitude, and the blade was pleased by it? "Monsters cannot bleed? You are incapable of being wounded Undyne?"

Louise was, truthfully, unable to put to words her shock for her professor. She was in no position to judge or insult, even less so to declare the words improper but… all her lessons from her mother to the Rule of Steel state that such a diversion from a subject such as war, a war like this… it was something that duels could be declared over. And someone like and Undyne, there was doubtlessly going to be one now.

"Nope, no I don't." Louise nearly planted her face into the floor. "Monsters don't have blood and stuff. We're made of magic! Kinda hard to bleed that stuff." And the monster was grinning her usual mad grin. It was almost just as distributing to see the joyful smile on Professor Colbert's face.

"Made of magic… simply incredible! Unheard of!" The professor looked ready to jump for joy. Where his desk not in the way, Louise could see him doing just that. "Nobles are blessed with the use of magic but you are crafted from its art! Does that mean your creation is artificially mediated through some advance means? Is there a spell or incantation to gather-?"

"Hey, baldy!" Undyne yelled again. She planted her hands even harder against the wood of the Professor's desk. It must have been more durable than the Headmaster's, for it only cracked across the surface. The legs were still intact. "Much as I love talkin' about how great monsters are, I brought Derf up here so we could find out _where_ they are, got it?"

"Are… Is this… normal, milady?" Louise turned to the maid, the poor commoner doing her utmost to keep a calm face. She was admittedly doing a spectacular job in comparison to Louise herself. Even with her hand only half covering her lips and eyes wide as Undyne's grin. "I do not… what is there to say?"

"For Undyne, I am sorry to say that this is entirely normal," Louise spoke not a lie to the maid. That would be improper of a noble and an insult to the Rule of Steel. "Compared to her logic of sleeping on roofs and destroying walls for entry into a room, this all seems rather plausible." Truly, if there was any noble lacking so greatly in proper etiquette, it was Undyne. It was the only way to explain away the clear insult Professor Colbert had laid on her.

"Colbert!" A voice shouted from the hallway, earning the collective attention of the room. Louise saw Undyne's and Professor Colbert's heads whip towards the vacant door just before hers turned as well. In no time, a familiar face appeared at the door. "I heard a commotion! Are you… oh, Undyne?"

Headmaster Osmond appeared at the door, his beard hiding much of his expression. His eyes shifted around the room, focusing on the obvious suspect for the trail of damage he likely followed. It didn't take him long to look over the rest of the room, eyes lingering on the maid. Excessively so. No doubt because she was a commoner amongst nobles and magic-infused monsters.

"Ms. Vallière, Professor Colbert, I see you are both… well…" His voice paused as he looked over the room again. He was likely focusing on the splintered wood and mess of papers… a mess that her familiar had created. And if the headmaster was here… it must have reached him through distracting means.

"I apologize profusely for the damage, headmaster." Louise spoke as she rose from her seat, bowing just as soon as she stood to her tallest. Now was not the time to test her steal. Now was the time to bend. "I take full responsibility for any trouble or damage Undyne has caused for the Academy."

"I can speak for myself, punk," said monster spoke ungratefully behind her. She risked a snarl at the monster, but her pink locks hid any of her features. It was gratifying to make the expression all the same.

"Now now, it is quite alright," the headmaster graciously replied. Louise whipped her head back to him. His eyes were on her. "I was concerned for the welfare of my students and faculty… _all_ of my faculty."

His eyes moved and lingered on the maid again. Louise could see him smiling from behind his beard. He truly was a kind noble, through and through. His staff tapped as he entered the room, waving at the scraps of wood about the area.

"But I am glad to see the damage is only to things. Things that can be replaced." Louise watched, enraptured as always, as the bits of wood began to shift around the floor. It looked as if light breezes were catching them. Those currents of wind, however, were becoming stronger and more obvious.

As they grew in strength, the papers began to fly about the room. Every piece of parchment from scrap to well-penned began to whip through the air, turning into a storm of leaves in the fall months. Louise shut her mouth for fear of one of the shorter parchments flying into her. But the wind was not done yet.

Louise gripped her skirt as the wind began to increase in pace. She ruffled the material into fists, keeping it tight against her legs. She heard a squeal from behind her, no doubt the maid working to do the same task. Even the Professor was grabbing at his cloak, doing his utmost to keep the hood of his robe from flying over his head.

And Undyne… she just looked confused. What little Louise could see through the storm of papers showed the blue scaled monster looking about the room with her good eye, arms crossed and lips twisted. Neither the wind nor the papers appeared to be bothering her in the slightest.

Of course they wouldn't. She wasn't wearing proper garments to have to worry of the wind. And the way she handled lifting Tabitha's dragon? It would take a hurricane to make the monster do more than blink. It didn't even appear as if the papers were hitting her. It was like they simply dropped around and came back up. She even had to kick the wood from the ground for it to lift into the air.

Wait… Louise blinked through the storm of papers as she realized what she saw. Wood was indeed flying in the storm, but in a direction completely opposite that of the papers. Chunks both small and large were flying towards the Headmaster, but then past him. They were flying towards the now open doorway. But when they reached there, they stopped.

Louise could only describe it as wood hitting water, water that was somehow being kept up sideways parallel to the doorway. She thought that because as the wood reached the barrier, it stilled, dipping past and rising back into the door frame. The wood was collecting and congregating there. Of her mother could have done it much faster, but the effort and ease to which the Headmaster was doing this was inexcusable impressive.

She watched the Headmaster wave his staff to and fro, all while she and the maid gripped their skirts to keep the wind from blowing them up. But as the wind began to die down, slowly as it was, Louise saw just what was happening to the papers. They were settling back over Professor Colbert's desk! What piles could not be recreated, all thanks to Undyne and her new magic sword, were stacked along the walls. They were all so… neat.

When it was done, and the room still again, Professor Colbert's door stood back in place, appearing not a splinter of wood out of place. Even the locks were aligned once more. But even more than that, the papers that had been scattered and whipped around the room were once more organized into piles along the stone walls. Whether they belonged there or on the desk was inconsequential.

This was the extent of at true Square Mage. Not only magnificent strength, but near artistic accuracy. Evidence through action that Steel needed to be more than simply strong. It had to be precise. Failure to meet one meant the failure of the other. Headmaster Osmond was truly the master of both. A second to Louise's mother no doubt, but it was comparing mountains.

"Eh, not bad," the sword, of all present spoke up. Louise turned her head almost regretfully towards the rusted and worn blade. "Showin' off a bit much there, but hey, I'm not against a spar with ya." Louise felt her face go red.

"How dare you!" She yelled at the magic sword, now worth as much as scrap steel. "You are speaking to Headmaster Osmond, a noble who has just shown the precision and strength of his magic to you! Challenging him in such a manner is disrespectful to not only him but all those present!" She stomped her foot for good measure, balling her fists to keep herself from throwing them at the blade. She would wrench it from the wood herself if she had to.

The room was silent after her words, no doubt processing how damnable the sword's words truly were. It did not matter what it was made out of, magic or steel. To disrespect a powerful noble such as the headmaster was worthy of fines in the kingdom proper. It was only by grace the blade wasn't being scolded by Professor Colbert or the headmaster himself. And Undyne! She was grinning at the blade with that same mad grin she loved to hold.

"So, you think he's tough too, huh?" Louise wasn't sure who the monster was asking those words to. Her eye was on the headmaster, obvious by its upwards angle at the tall noble. But… why? "I was thinkin' the same thing earlier?"

"Hey now, I didn't say he was tough, just that he was showin' off," the sword replied without a hitch. Louise was feeling a pool of dread collecting again. "Figure the only reason anyone would do that is that they're lookin' for a challenge. I'm a patient blade, but who'm I ta say no to someone lookin' for a fight."

"Heh, I was thinkin' the same thing!" Undyne stood to her tallest, saying the words as boastfully as they ever did. The obvious was only bound to happen.

A fist pounded on her chest, a dull boom shook the room and Louise's head, dread quickly followed. But now, it was different in the worst of ways.

Instead of being alone in her room, or even outside at night, they were in the company of not only a commoner, but two of the most well-respected and well-versed nobles in Tristian. Louise could see Professor Colbert holding his hands to his head, wide eyed and understandably terrified. She heard the maid yell out at the noise. That was not even to mention the way the Headmaster grabbed his staff with both hands, holding it up like a shield. Undyne was threatening the most powerful mage in the Academy! Literally!

"I meant no challenge," the Headmaster quickly iterated. No doubt to prevent the lunatic of a monster from actually attacking him. "It was my intent only to assist in cleaning the room. Young ladies should not be burdened with such messes, not when they are carrying too much already." He lowered his staff as he looked at the maid, nodding towards her.

He was no doubt speaking of the work load he had. Louise nodded her head at his logic. A true noble, through and through, doing what he could with what he had to make the lives of the commoners easier. Unlike another noble who had apparently came from a kingdom of zero sense!

"Tch, fine," Undyne spoke as she folded her arms. Louise let out a breath of air through her grit teeth. There would be words later, sharp and hard as steel. "But since that's it, you can head out if you want. We got more to talk about in here." Louise felt her face go red as a ripe tomato. Words indeed!

"Oh, regarding what, if I may ask?" The Headmaster turned from the maid to face Undyne. Louise noticed the commoner blushing profusely. It was difficult to judge if that was because of the Headmaster's closeness or his understanding for her. It didn't matter. "I assume it has to do with this new… blade of yours, correct?"

"Hey old timer, the name's Derflinger." Louise made up her mind. She was going to smelt that sword the first chance she had. She would cast a fireball spell to turn the rusty steel into ash and smolder. "And heck yes I'm the topic of conversation 'round here. Just took a bit of time for someone to notice how great I was."

"Derf, you're awesome, no doubt," Undyne spoke up, looking back at the blade. Her webbed hands settled back onto Professor Colbert's desk, perfectly fitting into the indentations she had made before. "But cool as your battles probably are, the _only_ thing I need ya to talk about right now are the monsters."

"Monsters?" the Headmaster asked. "This blade has seen your people before, Undyne?"

"That's what he's sayin'," Undyne returned. She gave the Headmaster a grin that would turn a wolf away in fright. Louise was thankful the esteemed noble did not suffer the smile of the monster for long. "And if we're all just about doin' interruptin' him, he'll get to talkin!"

She swung her webbed hand the sword, likely with enough force to pulverize any suit of armor. It was a blessing that it did not actually hit anything, even something as replaceable as stack of papers. Louise sighed to cool the metal of her steel.

"Ah, then would it be inappropriate of me to listen as well?" The Headmaster inquired. Louise felt a bubble of satisfaction grow in her. "It would be marvelous to hear of this history from another mouth, if you will."

"It would be our honor, Headmaster." Louise spoke before Undyne could ruin the invitation. She twisted, rose, and bowed to Headmaster Osmond in a single move. "I am sure that Derflinger will be open to another party as grand as yourself."

"Grand huh? Well if humans are like wine, I guess he's a keeper." Louise hid her scowl of disappointment behind the curtain of her hair. If it was not Undyne, then it was her new blade that seemed intent on ruing relations with the grand nobles of Tristian's Academy. "But wouldn't ya rather have a fight or somethin'? Kinda against my nature, ya know, as a sword?"

"Oh, trust me buddy," Undyne spoke up. She was offering her usual mad grin to the desk-embedded blade. "I got a feelin' there's gonna be a ton of awesome fights. But if we can't find the rest of the monsters, there ain't gonna be any reason to fight. Ya got that?" Louise heard the maid behind her fidget, even as her attention was focused on the screaming blue fish monster.

"Well, when ya put it that was, guess I can take a _stab_ at it." Louise knew, immediately, that the chuckle she heard from the Headmaster was all in her own head. "Let's see, I can remember a lot of them monsters in a group. Linin' up on the field. Tons of them there, but the stand out was probably the giant goat. That guy was hard ta miss." Giant goat?

"A goat?" Professor Colbert spoke up now. His mannerisms were a far cry from the rightfully terrified expression he had before. Perhaps it was because he now had something new to focus on, no longer thinking of the spears… "Was this a bipedal or quadrupedal goat? Did it have any distinguishing features to set it apart from a regular goat aside from its size?"

"Yeah, a lot actually." Louise didn't know which question the sword was answering. She saw the maid leaning forward out of the corner of her eye. A pity, and she was acting so mature so far. At least Headmaster Ozpin and Louise herself where being calm in the face of this history lesson. "Even I'll say it's hard ta forget a goat monster that can cast a shadow on an entire group of humans."

Louise raised a hand to her lips, wondering about the size of such a monster. Undyne was tall herself, but describing a creature of such size… perhaps the term monster was more befitting than even Undyne's appearance alone spoke. Looking up at the headmaster, Louise could see he was staring wide-eyed as well, his beard parted enough to make it evident his jaw was open in wonder.

"Tall goat… hey, Derf, did he have huge horns, too?" Undyne asked of all things. She even lifted her hands up, cupping them on her forehead to likely simulate the appendages. The idea of her having horns was terrifying enough. "And a big golden beard, kinda like the old guy over there?" Undyne lowered her hands only to point at the headmaster with the insulting comment. Louise's hand moved from her mouth to her eyes. It was already too late to cover her ears.

"Yup! All the above!" The sword proudly returned. "Had a cape, too. Must have had somethin' in his eyes, cause he never looked at anyone. Always just hung his head. Didn't stop him from bein' about as intimidating a thunderstorm!" What an odd creature the sword just described. Intimidating in body, but meek in spirit. It was a poor combination for a noble, to spite or forego their strength. Undyne doubtlessly thought the same, given how she values her humorously monstrous strength.

"That's Asgore!" Louise was wrong. Undyne seemed nothing short of thrilled. Ever her smile, the bright mad thing that it was, was parted by her open jaw. "You saw Asgore in an actual battle! You're like ten times more awesome for that! How cool was he? Did he throw the humans like ragdolls? C'mon tell me you remember somethin'!"

"Wait, wait, hold moment," Louise spoke up before she was forced to hold her peace. She knew that name, Asgore. Undyne wouldn't be quiet about it. "Is this a descendant of your current king? I recall he is also named Asgore."

"Oh no, definitely the same guy." Undyne grinned widely at Louise. It was the same look she had when she first saw Derflinger. "Asgore was the king back with the war with the humans and he still is today! No way was he anywhere else but on the front lines! He ain't the kinda to let others get hurt for him."

"But the sword, Derflinger," Professor Colbert moved as he spoke, eyes trailing from Undyne to the blade imbedded in his desk. "You described this battle as occurring centuries to nigh millennia ago… how is Asgore, how does your king still live?"

"Cause he's a boss monster!" Undyne shouted as she lifted and flexed her arms. Louise as not sure of the point of the action. She was sure of the stupidity of her familiar's words. "The big guy could live for another million ears and he'd be a'okay!"

"That's impossible." Louise stared at her familiar with absolute certainty. Crossed arms, pivoted leg, and a narrowed gaze. She was stiff as steel, and just as unyielding. "All creatures age and eventually pass on. To say that this king of yours is any different is preposterous. Simple as that."

Louise was prepared for the mad grin Undyne directed at her, complete with her good eye seemingly alight with gold. It was as predictable as the rising sun. So to were the words she spoke next.

"Punk, if you think I'd even _have_ to lie about someone as BA as Asgore, you got a lot to learn!" She waved her hand in the air, a bang resounding. A large blue spear materialized in her hands, almost as if she were ready to strike with it. Louise felt her muscles stiffen. "Asgore was alive when you guys pushed the monsters Underground and he's done nothin' but make sure we could find a way out! He's been doin' that for ages now, way before I was even born!"

"Undyne, please, I-I know Madame Vallière means no insult," the maid interjected, of all people. Louise gave the dark haired servant an odd look, mostly as the maid made her way to the monster, shifting past the Headmaster and stopping with raised hands. "It is just... not something any of us have heard of before. That is all. No one meant any insult by it."

"Hey, sweetheart, ya can't blame Undyne for gettin' mad about that." Now the sword spoke up. Louise was sure it was because it hadn't the ability to be silent. "I'd be just as upset if one of ya tried ta say I wasn't made of good steel."

"Derflinger, are you saying that Undyne's… King Asgore is centuries old?" Professor Colbert asked. Louise could see his attention was solely on the sword buried into his desk, and not the armed monster that looked ready to maim them. "How could you be certain of this?"

"Hey, I don't remember much from back then, but it'd be embarresin' for any sword to forget the reason they fight." What did it mean by that? "Monsters are supposed to be more varied than you humans could ever hope ta be. Doin' everythin with magic from cookin' food to building castles. That ain't includin' the whole immortality thing with a few of 'em. Not everyone can be a _boss_." It spoke the word as a joke, but Louise was thankful she knew not the point of it.

"Which class of magic are they using?" Professor Colbert continued to speak. Louise was thankful, to a point, for his ability to ignore the tension. Louise was feeling the pressure that formed the strongest steel. He appeared free as untarnished air. That was why he was her mentor. "It sounds as if they excel in both earthen and fire magic, perhaps square class magic. Maybe they also excel in combining different fields, could this be true Undyne?"

"All I'm hearin' is you tryin' to make something fun boring." Undyne remarked. She turned away from the maid, throwing her spear into the air. It vanished with a bang. Louise watched it do so, as did the maid, understandably. "Magic is magic. There ain't classes or ranks to it. You do what you do and that's it. Now can we just get back to where the monsters _are_?" Louise knew that would not be the case, not yet.

"Hold a moment, Undyne," the Headmaster spoke now. Louise turned to watch him speak. "It sounds as if magic is not only common to monsters, but… it is a natural gift?" Louise took the blank look from Undyne as an answer, her sharp teeth peeking out from her drawn lips. Nothing the monster did was halfway. The Headmaster must have thought much the same. "That sounds more akin to… elfin magic, does it not?"

"Elves?" Louise found herself asking. How could she not? That was nearly an unpermitted area of speech! "The creatures the Founder fought away for us to live? Their magic was vile and corrupted, so say the teachings of Brimir." Louise was instructed in those ways by her mother and father alike. They were as much a part of her as her magic and the Rule of Steel.

"Yes, and yes, but also yes," Professor Colbert spoke, cryptically. Louise looked towards Undyne in confusion. The monster gave her a look before looking towards the maid. Said maid shook her head before turning back towards Louise. She could only shrug now, unsure and unprepared. "Magic that disobeys the classes of magic is much in the way of elves. They would also likely possess the ability to craft the barrier described forthright, shining in Twilight and impenetrable… But… Derflinger, were you carried into battle by a human or elf?"

"Hey, you guys are hard enough to keep track of without lookin' for somethin' as small as larger ears," Derflinger spoke back. "It ain't hard ta see a monster amongst you guys, but an elf? All ya got is an _ear_ full of differences!" He laughed at his horrendous joke. He laughed alone.

"So, Sir Derflinger, you were wielded by elves… against monsters?" The maid asked. Polite as she was, since when was the sword a knighted entity? It was a tool with a bit of magic infused into it. But… the question was a good one to ask. "Your heritage is deep."

"Trust me sweetheart, the only thing deep about me right now is how far I'm this desk." If there was a desk she could reach, Louise knew her face would be against it at this moment. The sword was a jester in the worst of forms, figuratively and literally. "I'm just a simple sword who enjoys a good fight and a good nap."

"Elflands, _the_ Elflands," Professor Colbert kept speaking. Louise saw his grin widen with the words. She could not think of reason why to celebrate the elves. "It is no mystery then why no word has come of your people, Undyne. We know as much of the Elves as they do of our own land!" He grinned broadly at the monster. Her grin was subdued, but still more than a match for Louise's professor.

"What, are they ruins or somethin'?" Undyne asked. Of course she would ask such a thing. No other soul in the Founder's Lands could possibly ask something so ridiculous. "What's the big deal with all this talk of elves?"

"Elves are the enemy to our lands, Undyne," the Headmaster spoke. Louise was thankful to him. No one else was more qualified to explain the situation to Undyne than he was. "They were the people that fought the Founder Brimir some centuries to millennia ago. Our culture is as different as our magic. Our relations are as sour as rotten apples." A magnificent comparison as well.

"So it's bad. Just say it's bad," Undyne held out her arms, an insult if any there was one. It was her teeth over her lips that kept Louise from yelling at her familiar. "And are you kidding me right now? It's so bad that I can't even find the rest of the monsters, if they're even there?"

"Entry into their lands is tantamount out an invasion," Louise explained to her familiar. Her father had lectured her on this at a young age. "They will not tolerate us and will accept no excuse for it. If your people are truly in their lands, there is little we can do for them at the moment."

"What are ya talkin' about?" Undyne asked. Louise could only blink at the sudden question. "If they're all in these Elflands or whatever, then that's where I'm goin'!" She raised her fist to the air with the declaration. Louise felt her brow rise with it.

"You can't!" The maid yelled out. Louise had no disagreement for the words, but the maid still covered her mouth, sobering, before continuing. "Elves have the power to defeat hundreds of mages with only a single one of their numbers. Strong as you are Undyne, I fear for you if any more than two were to come across you. It would be perilous to venture in there alone."

"Hey, thanks for the worry Siesta, but I won't be alone." Louise was sure of many things, among them was how she would not dare venture to the Elflands, let alone in a party no larger than a count of her hand! "I'm gonna have a kick ass talkin' sword with me!" Louise was thankful she was sitting, else she would have fallen out of her chair.

"Goin' into dangerous lands to fight strong enemies? Well, _elf_ there's no one us, I'm in." Louise wasn't sure what was more horrifying. Her familiar's declaration to run off into to the elves or the fact her weapon was joking about it, with words!

"Undyne, no!" Louise finally shouted at her stupid monster! "Of all the irresponsible things you have done in your short stay here, this is without doubt the most ludicrous of them all! It is not a challenge, it is a death sentence! Magic blade or no, you are no match for the elves!" She stomped her foot for good measure, glaring up at the one good eye her monster had.

"Oh yeah," Undyne returned unperturbed. Of course she wasn't. Mountains were hill to this beast of a fish. "Well I say I can take 'em all on and not even break a sweat. I say that as long as I got the sky above me, and the rest of the monsters ta find, you're gonna need a million of those elves just ta slow me down!"

Undyne was yelling with her nose pressed right against Louise's. She could feel the harsh blue scales of the monster against her skin, brushing against her like the sour end of a worn broom. Louise snarled up at the monster.

"Now now ladies, I don't believe we need to result to anything so extreme." Louise felt herself being pulled away from Undyne, a hand on her shoulder. She could see another aged hand on Undyne's shoulder, but the monster wouldn't budge for a falling mountain. "We are far from saying that we are simply going to leave your people at the end of the elves. However, the lands are as vast as ours, but without the aid of academies."

"It would take several decades to properly traverse the Elflands, assuming no interference from local inhabitants or bodily injuries occur." Louise turned her head to see Professor Colbert speaking now. He was adjusting his glasses as he did so. "However, there is good news."

"Better spill it fast, cause this all sounds like a downhill talk to me," Undyne blew a stray strand of red hair from her eyes as she spoke. She truly did possess no tact or manners at all.

"The Elflands were once inhabited by humans before war broke out between our kinds. Maps still exist within our confines regarding their geography and latitude structures. Mountains take a near immeasurable amount of time to form through natural phenomena, so new ranges are assumingly a non-factor." Professor Colbert adjusted his glasses with the words, grinning the same smile he had in classes when spells worked flawlessly. "Simply, Undyne, now that I know regions to look into, I may be able to narrow down possible locations of the Underground you hail from."

That was excellent news! It was a means to control Undyne's impulsiveness and narrow a search for a possible rescue party! It was exactly the kind of operation her mother had said was the only viable military strategy into the Elflands. It was exactly what they needed. But if Undyne needed more, Louise knew what was needed.

"And when Professor Colbert finds something, I will join you." Louise ignored the looks the Headmaster and maid were giving her. At the moment, Undyne was the subject of her speech. The Rule of Steel said she was the only one that mattered. "As the ambassador for the humans, it would be my duty to assist in the rescue of your people. I will leave with you not a moment after the Professor finds your mountain."

"Fine, fine, yeah, I get it." Undyne brushed off the comments, but she was deflating in her ego. It was an acceptable insult, given that it came with Undyne's relenting words. "Can't go off pissing the elves if it means bad stuff for the rest of you. Just promise you'll hurry up with that search then, baldy." She was truly going to call Professor Colbert that now from now on, wasn't she?

"I will dedicate my nights to it," he returned quickly. That was an unfortunate yes then. "With the Osmond's permission, I will procure the maps today."

"Granted," the Headmaster spoke before Louise could turn her head. She saw the Headmaster's long beard already bobbing with the affirmation. This was all happening marvelously fast. Neither Louise nor the Rule of Steel had objections to quick action. "I will make note to speak with the princess regarding the matter when she arrives. Is there anything else that needs to be done?" Louise felt something shift in her stomach.

"Princess Henrietta, Headmaster?" She asked the noble. When he gave her eye contact, she spoke on. "The princess is coming to the Academy?"

"Of course, Louise," Professor Colbert spoke on. "The princess will be the one attending the Familiar Festival. Have you forgotten?" Louise did not forget that the princess would be present for the event. What she forgot was the event entirely.

"I-It must have slipped my mind," she stumbled with her words, catching herself before she spoke on. "I have been distracted with the events as of late and I was unaware that the festival was fast approaching." She stopped herself before her words became a ramble. Louise sucked on her tongue to keep it from running.

"Now, now, Ms. Vallière, it is quite alright." The headmaster put his hand on her shoulder, a bit of warm contact to soothe the mind. Like water to a forging blade. "The event may be near, but I have little doubt Undyne will be anything than impressive. You have little to worry and nothing to fear." He was right, of course.

Undyne was a familiar unlike any other, a monster from a foreign kingdom and Captain of her King's Royal Guard. A mage that had the strength to break mountains without magic, but spears that were long as muskets and sharper than a dragon's tooth. Her presence alone was enough to secure victory. Yes, it would be.

"Great, everyone settled?" Said monster spoke up. "Then I need one of ya to tell me about these elves while I eat. Gotta be ready for a fight against them." Finished with her words, Undyne put her webbed hand around Derflinger's hilt.

Louise watched, sighing to hide a scowl, as Undyne ripped the blade form the desk. It ripped a good portion of the wood out with it. Only Professor Colbert seemed to mind, logically. Not even the sword that was thrown into the wood seemed to care all that much.

"I can… speak with you of the elves," the maid spoke up, making Louise glare at the dark haired commoner. "I have read many stories on them, from my grandfather's tomes. I am sure there is much I can tell you." Stories? That would hardly do.

"Well I can assist you in explaining what they are capable of," Louise interjected as she stepped forward, hand to her chest as she looked at Undyne's singular good eye. "My mother, a famed square class mage, has studied them in depth should the worst ever come to pass. I can tell you all that I have learned from her."

"Perfect!" Undyne shouted, raising the sword in the air to match. Of course she would. "Between the two of you, I'm sure I'll be ready for anythin' those elves have to throw!" Both?

Louise looked at the maid, seeing the woman look back at her. Clearly the commoner thought that she would be speaking to Undyne alone. More than that, by the light bob of her lip, she desire it. Why should possibly want to be in the presence of the monster was beyond Louise. She was doing this to keep the future relations between Tristian and Monsters fruitful.

"Undyne, before you go, I do have another question." The Headmaster spoke up. "Are you not concerned for your people? They may have entered perilous lands. Does this not… concern you?" It wasn't until he asked the question than did Louise herself realize why he did.

Undyne, the boisterous, high-strung, brute of a Guard Captain, had expressed not a single emotion of worry for her people.

"Worried? _Ha!_ " She yelled the laugh, truly yelled it, at the Headmaster. She even leaned forward with the effort, opening her massive jaw to show her jagged teeth. It did not held her arms were flexed with hand secure at her waist, showing the muscles beneath her scales. "I may be the Captain of the Guard, but I got nothin' on Asgore!"

And again, she pounded her chest. Louise had time to plug her ears when she saw the monster's fist rise. The shockwave was there and gone, but… nothing to her king?

"Your king holds such might to be incomparable to you… Given his age speculated age, it is not a difficult conclusion to reach. The years he would have to perfect his art of magic." Professor Colbert began to speak. Louise only just noticed his pen was still moving. It was a show to his professionalism, not losing focus even in a time such as this. "A grand ally to be sure, one I would be glad to have a conversation with."

"Gonna have to get some tea goin' then." Louise looked at Undyne, the monster giving a lighter version of her usual grin. It was still broad enough to reflect the sun. "The big guy loves his tea, especially before we do any training. Golden Flower tea if ya got it. He'll talk yer ear off if you let 'im."

"Peaceful as well then," Professor Colbert spoke on. "Extraordinary, for a man… monster of such might as this king to be peaceful in relations. Tell me, is it due to his age that he has obtained this favorable lease on life? It would be possible, as majority of kings in the human realm do not hold strength and peace together."

"Eh, probably," Undyne answered with a shrug. She slung her magic sword over her shoulder as she did so, the flat end of the blade resting easily. "Dude's always had a heart of gold, well, figuratively. What I _can_ tell you is that when I'm duelin' him, it takes everythin' I got just to land a hit on him! Dude's a fast as he strong, and I haven't even beat him in a weight lifting contest, yet!" She pointed her free webbed hand into the air with the declaration, as if it needed to be.

"Incredible," the maid was speaking again, hands folded below her chin. Louise did not miss her smile either. "He sounds like a great king to serve under."

"The best!" Undyne shouted as she turned towards the dark-haired commoner, pumping her first for the effort. "Asgore's the reason we all knew we'd get out of the Underground, and it looks like the big guy made good on his promise! Cause here I am and I know he's out there somewhere with the rest of the monsters."

Louise could understand Undyne in this moment. Rare as it was, she could completely sympathize with the monster. Seeing someone so grand, being led so easily beneath them, and being given power by their compassion… it was how the Rule of Steel both asked and denied to be used. Truly she was Louise's familiar, as there was no one else she could so readily relate to.

But after all of this, Louise was ready for a sleepless dream.

* * *

After all of that, Undyne was ready to tear into Derflinger.

"How can you not remember more than that?" She asked the blade, twisting it in her hand. Her lips were pulled into a scowl, looking over the rusty, but still completely awesome, metal. "You were literally there, like, right in the middle of it? That ain't somethin' you're supposed to forget."

"Eh, it happens to the best of us. Humans, too," Derf replied with its usually clicking hilt. "Can't help it if I'm not quite as _sharp_ as I used to be." Undyne reminded herself that even metal could break if you threw it hard enough from high enough. Sitting on the edge of Louise's roof would probably do that.

"But c'mon!" She urged the sword again, gripping the tiles beneath her as she leaned over the blade in her hand. "You gotta remember more than just how BA Asgore was. How about the humans, or the elves or whatever, did to beat us? Was there some kinda super weapon? Was it really just determination that won out? Was it really a one-sided war? There's gotta be so much more to it!"

"Don't make it sound like I'm just wasted metal, partner," Derflinger spoke back, rusty hilt creaking with the words. "I did give that human friend of yours a good area to search. Ain't that what you wanted from me?" Well that was true.

"Yeah, but both baldy and oldy said that was a hell of a lot of land to cover," Undyne let back out. "And if it's as dangerous as they say, who knows how long it's gonna take. And I _can't_ just sit here if Asgore and the rest of the monsters really are in danger! I mean, Alphys needs me! And the kids in Snowdin! Hell, I bet Papyrus is waitin' for me to make some kind of heroic entry!"

Undyne could see that, clearly. Clearly as the stars in the sky she was staring up into. The tall skeleton was probably holding up a banner against the wall, getting some super plate of spaghetti ready to show off how much he had learned in their time apart. That was terrifyingly likely.

She let out a sigh, letting her hand fall back to the roof. Two more tiles cracked where her hand struck. Undyne looked over at the magical blade, seeing it like the glowing runes on the back of her hand. She'd have to get baldy to look at those later. S'long as she felt on top of the world though, it didn't matter.

The only thing that possibly mattered was finding the monsters in those Elflands, or whatever the humans were calling them.

"Hey partner, I feel bad I can't help ya out more. Really, ain't nothing that's harsher for a sword like me ta hear than I just can't _cut_ it." Undyne had to debate if it was worth keeping a kickass magic sword if it kept talking like Sans. It was not an easy question. "But, I can probably help ya out with some other stuff. Hard to forget stuff like monster's bein' made out of magic." Undyne blew a stray strand of red hair out of her good eye.

"How'd that help?" She asked. She leaned back on her butt as she twisted the sword in front of her good eye. It may have been pretty annoying so far, but at least the blade looked doubly kickass with a background of trees and stars. Couldn't top that in the Underground. "I already know all that kind of junk. Pretty sure I know more 'bout monsters than you do, Derf."

"Can't argue with that," Derflinger returned. "But aside from my magnificent sheen, I got a bit of magic in me, too. Have ta in order to have this kind of talk." That was true, but Undyne just twisted her lips. Where was he going with this? "So I'm willin' ta bet you can do some of the stuff I can."

"What, cut up humans and talk?" Undyne asked. She gave a half-wide grin at the question. It was a stupid question. "I can talk the talk and smash boulders with my fist. Pretty sure you're the one who's wishin' he can do the stuff I can!"

Undyne spoke a bit louder with her words, patting her chest for good measure. She couldn't get too loud, not with the pinkette sleeping under her. Nothing more stupid than keeping a punk awake, especially after all the good she did today.

"That ain't all I can do, partner," Derf spoke on. Undyne raised her good brow at the sword. "See, here's the thing 'bout being part magic. Kinda comes down to humans an' how their mostly made of water." Undyne had no idea where the sword was going with this.

"Yer making 'bout as much sense as Papyrus on a sugar rush," she noted to the sword, twisting it till the blade nicked the tiles. Made scratch, maybe a crack, but at least it didn't shatter. "How's that matter at all?"

"Cause humans drink the stuff nonstop!" The sword yelled out. Hard to tell with all the squeaking, but Undyne could swear it was laughing. She needed to learn how to get the rust off. "They build their entire towns and stuff by rivers and lakes just ta make sure they have the stuff. So what do ya think that means for you?"

"'Bout what?" Undyne asked with a shrug. "I like ta swim, a lot really, but I don't need ta drink water. More fun to lay 'round in it than anything else." Seriously, where was the sword going with this? "Sides, I already knew 'bout humans needing water. They need food, too."

"Well… yer not wrong there," Derf spoke up again. "But I was tryin' ta speak more about what you could do with what we could do with what we were made out of. See where I'm goin' with this?" Undyne was getting annoyed.

"Sounds to me like you're tryin' to tell a story, and you're doin' one legendarily bad job at it!" She spoke a bit more forcefully. Couldn't grip the sword tighter. Derf was too awesome to hurt like that. Least he was made of sterner stuff than most other human crap. "If you're going to be giving me some biology lesson on the humans, I'd rather ya spend more time thinkin' of where Mt. Ebott is! Cause the faster you think of it the faster that bald guy can find the rest of the monsters!" Seriously, why was that so hard to understand? Sure, it was bad enough that apparently nothing had come about the monsters since she got here, but at least now there was a talking sword that remembered them! That was a step at least!

"Partner," Derf seemed to sigh. Undyne wasn't sure with the grating noise his rusty hilt made. "Instead of getting' worked up over things I can't remember, why don't ya pay attention to that commotion down there." Undyne blinked at the words. She pulled Derflinger back, staring at the sword.

"Wha? Down where?" Undyne shifted her good eye, looking at the ground. It was amazing up on the surface, the way the moons were able to show so much. It was like the Underground without the ceiling! Undyne couldn't get enough of it.

But that's what made seeing the carriage that pulled up to the building so obvious.

"The heck is that?" Undyne muttered as she moved around the roof. She had to be careful because of the slant, the stupid tiles just as fragile as everything else the humans made. Still, a good grip on the edge of the roof, push one of her boots into the tiles behind her, and she was able to look off the edge.

The carriage was just that, a carriage. It was like the one she and the pinkette took into town earlier, but with a roof and a hell of a lot more detail. Even from probably half a dozen stories up and with only two moons giving any kind of light, Undyne could make out a heck of a lot of craftsman ship. It had all those curvy edges, golden trims, and flare that robot Alphys made seemed to love. Didn't sparkle though, even with the moons.

It did have a human waiting outside one of the doors, wearing a uniform pretty different from anything Undyne had seen so far. Kind hard to make out much from so high up, but it was obviously white, much longer than the capes the brats around the school wore to. Blonde hair was cropped on the human's head, just above the shoulders. Sort of like Siesta, but a little spikier. Undyne watched as the human reached out and opened the door to the cabin, moving out of the way for someone.

That someone was another generic human too far away for Undyne to tell much. Instead of a white cloak, the new human's was brown. It was kinda dirty, the same color as the trees, but without the texture, strength, or anything else that made wearing brown cool. The human's head was purple though, at least her hair was. That, or the moons were playing a pretty wicked trick on her. Gerson did say there were tricks of the light.

But something still wasn't right. Why in the name of the Angel were these two humans out here like this? Didn't make any sense. Humans were boring, going to bed whenever it got dark and not enjoying the awesome sky and stars! Maybe these guys were different. Hopefully it was possible. Heck, Siesta was cool enough to hold a conversation, maybe these humans were just enjoying the night, too. That was until the white cloaked human pulled back her cape a little. Undyne saw it immediately, even in the dark with only one good eye.

"That's a gun," she whispered, staring at the barrel that was poking out from the human's arm.

It was a lot longer than that junk pistol Catty and Bratty had, but it was definitely a gun. It looked like it was made out of wood more than metal, but it was definitely a gun. Undyne couldn't even tell from however high up she was if it was loaded or not, but that was definitely _a gun_!

"Hey, Derf," Undyne whispered to the sword in her hand, gripping it with all her strength. She could feel energy running through her, like her body was getting ready for a good fight. "You feelin' ready for a midnight fight?" It was midnight, right? That'd make this cooler.

"Thought you'd never ask, partner," Derf returned. He sounded just as excited as Undyne felt! Perfect! "Looks like yer runes are ready to go, too." Her what?

Undyne glanced at the sword, seeing the runes on the back of her scales glowing faintly. The heck was that? She hadn't used her spears, or was this something the pinkette had done… nah, it was just the moon. It was that trick of the light Gerson talked about. Light colors in soft light and all that mumbo jumbo. She was just feeling pumped.

Wait, that wasn't important, the human with the gun was important. Undyne looked back down to see they were still there. The purple haired human was lifting a hood over her head, hiding her purple hair. It was a disguise! The human with the gun was even adjusting it. These humans really were up to no good.

And Undyne, as the protector of the humans who couldn't help themselves, wasn't about to let these punks get away with anything!

"Partner, 'for we go," Derf spoke up. Undyne whipped to stare at him. He better make it quick, cause this wasn't the time to be slow. "As a sword, it's pretty hard ta forget stuff like war. So I remember that if a humans wants ta kill ya… there ain't much you can do to stop them." Wait a second…

"Yeah… are you tellin' me to do nothing?" He better not, or else he was going to be a spear that was thrown at those punks! There was no way, even against the Angel, Undyne was going to do nothing!

"Are you kiddin'? I want in on a fight pretty badly here, too! Waited long enough at least." Well that was good. Undyne flashed him a bright grin, even as she kept her good eye on the humans. They were talking or something, too high up to really tell. At least they weren't moving yet. "Just saying that you're probably gonna wanna use me to stop anything they do."

"Cause you're made of metal, right?" Undyne asked quickly. Her fingers were clawing at the tiles, energy and excitement building in her. She should just jump down right now! But cutting off Derf wouldn't be cool. It'd just ruin the whole dramatic entrance if he yelled the way down or something.

"Yeah, that'd be it," Derf agreed. "But don't go swinging me against everything. I'm a sword, meaning I prefer to do the cutting over the blocking. Kinda prefer to just dodge attacks more than anythin'. But I don't wanna have to sit in a crate for another few decades after finding a partner like you. So, if ya need to stop somethin' you can't get out of the way of, ya got my permission to use me as a shield." Undyne grinned at the sword. Those runes on her hand were glowing brighter.

"Done!" She spoke gleefully. "I'll be counting on ya to help put these humans in their place!"

Undyne pushed off with feet, jumping from the roof.

Hanging in the air for a moment, far above the surface, Undyne felt like she was flying. She could see only the stars, have nothing but the sky above her, and she loved it. It was what she and the rest of the monsters had gained by leaving the Underground. But, that magic thing Alphys called gravity, was starting to call her back.

The air whipped her hair as she jumped, grabbing at her, as she fell closer to the ground. She set her feet straight, having her boots aim for the dirt in front of the two cloaked humans. Derflinger was gripped tight in her hands, held out to her side and not moving an inch. She didn't need spears right now. Right now, she had a magic sword!

With a boom that made the ground, but still far too dull for Undyne's liking, she landed in front of the figures.

'Damn,' Undyne thought as she landed. 'Forgot my armor.' It was the one thing she needed in order to get this scene right. Everything was already there.

The stars were shining down on her, doubtlessly making her scales shine like the Echo Flowers of Waterfall. Her grin was as strong on her lips as she could make it, showing off her sharp teeth and sure smirk. And her good eye didn't leave the sight of the humans, staring at them intently. It was working.

Undyne gripped Derflinger above his pummel, feeling the sword give a purr of satisfaction. The human were shifting in front of her, the blonde human stepping front of the short lavender haired one. Didn't matter if they were cloaked, Undyne could tell who was who. Punks, they thought a hood was gonna stop her?

"Humans," Undyne began, making sure she was glaring at least one of them. Didn't matter which, given how weak these humans were. But if they were weak… that meant she could practice her monologue! "You've got a lot of nerve trying to break into this place, especially when it's under my guard."

"Beast!" The first human yelled, holding out her arm in front of the other one. She had a mean glare to her eyes. "What are you to claim guard of the students?! I was right your highness, the monster has taken prisoners." The punk swung to speak to the other human behind her, before whipping her head back. Was she serious with that? Undyne cocked her head to the side with her words.

"Hostage?" Undyne asked, feeling Derf give a groan of some kind in her hand. Good thing she had scales. "You come into my land, hiding yourself in the dark of the night, and you believe I am the one holding hostages?!" Undyne yelled back. That first line was cool though, but maybe some human said it in one of Alphys's shows. "You've got some kind of nerve."

"Wait! I believe this is simply a-" the lavender haired human in a cloak began to talk, but the taller blonde just stood in front of her. Good, this wasn't the time to talk!

"Please, stay back," the first human spoke as she removed her own cloak. Wasn't much new for Undyne to see, given that she had already spied the brat from up top. Was kinda weird she was wearing a white cloak under her pale one. Must have been some dumb human thing. "This monster is doubtlessly the same that threatened the market in the morn'." Oh yeah, that thing.

"I don't care about what you think I did," Undyne returned. She had to phrase this right. If she talked from the heart, it wouldn't sound cool enough! She had to talk like that bald human, or the old guy. They sounded cool, if they had a magic sword and spears! "I only know that I am awaiting my king's return, and I will not look weak by losing a battle before he arrives." Yeah, they'd get she was protecting the brats with that. Why else would they think she'd start a fight?

"An invasion then," the blonde spoke. She was planning an invasion!

"Is that your plan?" Undyne asked before the human could talk any further. She swung Derflinger towards the woman, pointing the tip of the kickass magic sword at the blonde. Her eyes got sharp, fast. It made Undyne's lips almost tear with how wide her grin was. "You're… you are going to start a battle with me?" Had to catch herself there. Almost talked normal for a minute there.

"In the name of my liege, I will!" The human yelled in turn. Then she lunged, fast.

At least, she was sort of fast, if it weren't for the fact that Undyne knew she was way faster!

She could practically see the human floating in the air she was so slow, but she was pulling on a blade. Why not the gun, Undyne didn't know, but if she was going for it… she was either really good or it was magic, too! Either way, it was time to act. Good thing Derf gave her permission to do more than dodge. Undyne twisted the blade, putting it right where the human was starting to swing her sword, even as it came out of its sheath.

The bang of the metal was music to Undyne's ears. But that wasn't all of it. The human was shorter than her, way shorter, even with shorter hair. It let Undyne star down at her, above their crossed blades with her golden eye. The blonde was staring back up at her, scowling like the pinkette, but with actual strength in her arms, not a bunch of corny words. She had something the human didn't!

This human had fighting spirit. She was fighting with something other than that crappy excuse for magic the other blonde brat did. She wasn't shaking, or crying, or doing anything the other humans had done so far. Maybe… just maybe… she had the determination to fight.

This was gonna be awesome!

"Do you know what you are doing?" Undyne asked. She was smiling harder than she could control, but she had to at least keep talking right. If she blew that, it would ruin the whole speech! "Fighting me is a big mistake, especially if I got something I'm fighting for." She was slipping, but at least the human wasn't pushing her back.

"I would ask you the same thing," the human spoke back, growling as it were. Undyne couldn't help but smile a bit brighter. This human was like the polar opposite of all the wimps so far! "But I see no point in speaking to the dead."

Undyne felt something hit her leg. She looked away from the human, long enough to see that the blonde had tried to sweep kick her. Even had her foot still locked around Undyne's red boots. Too bad it felt like she was being pulled by a light breeze!

"Not good enough!" Undyne finally let out, swinging Derflinger to the side. She pushed the metal blade to the side, putting the human off balance. The blonde even put on that usual dumb human expression of shock, but that wouldn't last long.

Undyne struck forward, hitting the human right in the chest. She flew back like the boulders Undyne liked to throw down the river in Waterfall. And that was without even trying! The human hit the dirt before rolling into that wagon she came in on, making a dull thud at the impact. Even with the sun gone, Undyne felt on top of the world! Magic swords were awesome!

"Cugh, Gha!" The human was making weird sounds from where she ended up. Must have hit harder than she thought. Weird, Undyne realized, cause if she had gone all out, that wagon wouldn't have been there. Then again, maybe the human wouldn't be either. "You… monster…" Was that supposed to be an insult? It needed more work than the human's swordsmanship!

"That's right, I'm a monster," Undyne spoke up, lowering Derflinger as she glowered down at the fallen human. Even now the blonde was staring back up at her with an angry look. At least she wasn't weak! "And I'm not gonna let you get past me, no matter what." Crap! She ruined it! She was supposed to say 'going to', not 'gonna'!

Had to fix that, had to fix that… she had to use magic! These humans didn't know how to deal with her magic!

Undyne threw her arm up in the air, holding Derflinger towards the stars. She felt strong just making the move, and the way the human's eyes narrowed at the sight made it clear she wasn't thinking highly of herself. Two for two. But just holding the pose didn't mean anything.

Instead, Undyne made her spears appear, at least a dozen.

They banged into life with a familiar sound, buzzing above her like hornets. Hornets that were made of lightning and magic! She was standing in front of a fallen human with a magic sword raised into the night sky and her spears floating around her. And the best part? It didn't even feel like she was trying! The harder she gripped Derflinger, the better she felt, the more she felt like she could do! Climb a mountain? Undyne was sure she could carry one! Undyne was sure it would have made a kick ass picture. Too bad there wasn't anyone here to take one.

The other human gasped though, putting her dainty hands under her hood, probably to cover her mouth. No doubt she was wearing that stupid human expression. Good thing she couldn't see it. The human on the ground though, the blonde, she was different. This human… she knew what she was doing. Finally! A human that had determination to fight!

"Magic," the human cursed, growling up at her. "A beast such as use uses it? Then the citizens of the market spoke the truth." If they were talking about how much of a badass she was, then they had better be preaching it!

"That's right, I got magic," Undyne spoke with her bright smile. The human wasn't falling away with disbelief like literally every other human so far. "That enough to scare you off?" Undyne kinda wished it wasn't, but it would've been pretty stupid of her to let these humans get near the brats. Until Asgore got here, she had to show how strong monsters were!

"I am not going to retreat," the human spoke, growling still. She stood to her tallest, bracing herself against the overly decorated wagon. She glared at Undyne, her blade still in her hand. Undyne gleamed back. "It will take more than a pitiable show of force to frighten a musketeer." Musketeer, huh? Must've been her rank or something. But honestly, Undyne didn't care about that right now.

She was going to get a fight.

"Then c'mon!" Undyne shouted, breaking her cool exterior again. Dammit! Screw it! "Show me what ya got, human! For I, Undyne, will not let you pass!"

Undyne yelled as the human charged, probably trying to catch her off guard. She lunged with her blade up, definitely to strike down at Undyne. Too bad she was still as slow as frozen molasses!

She stepped around the blade, taking Derflinger's advice to heart. Given the look of rage she saw across the human, she knew it was working. Still slow as ever, the human pulled the sword up, trying to cut Undyne at the waist. She jumped over it, flipping for good measure. Her eye got a good look at the rage on the human's face. It was really working!

"C'mon, is that all ya got!?" Undyne shouted back. Threw a spear at the human, still happy as ever to see they were flying like bullets themselves. Magic swords and the sun really did make her fight better! The runes were glowing on her hand, just showing off her power level!

The human dodged it though, pretty sweetly too. Her head tilted enough for the spear to fly past her and shatter against the ground. Not a moment later was the blonde holding the blade up, no doubt to stop any of Undyne's other spears. It made her grin with delight. This was what she was waiting for, monsters aside. This was a human with the determination to fight!

"Not bad!" Undyne shouted at the blonde. "But let's see what you can really do!" She wanted to see how strong this human was, cause she was flipping between low and high speed too much for Undyne to get a sense for that.

She swung Derflinger out, watching as the human raised her sword up to meet the blades. Undyne almost laughed as the sparks flew where their blades met. It was just like all the fights that Undyne had watched with Alphys! And she was finally in one. Couldn't stop now though!

The human to the blow from Derflinger like a champ! She spun on her heel, probably to try and clock Undyne in the back of the head. Would've worked, if Undyne was being pumped up by a magic sword! She ducked the strike, reaching out with her arm to grab at the human's side. If she got a good grip on the punk, she'd be able to throw her out of the school!

But instead, the human used her own free hand to flip over Undyne's arm, landing behind her before rolling away. Probably afraid that Undyne was going to strike at her still, which was likely. But still, she was quick as lightning there! And she wasn't even afraid of all of Undyne's spears! Oh yeah… she still had those out.

She grabbed one of her spears out of the air, feeling the magic flow through her. That feeling always made her smile. Undyne whipped her hand in front of her, sending out a little more of her magic. The human wasn't going to dodge that. And she didn't.

It was obvious when the human looked down at herself in rage, jerking her feet that wouldn't move. Perfect.

"Green means stop," Undyne spoke at the human, watching as those eyes looked at her again with fury. Undyne just raised Derflinger into the air instead. Undyne didn't need to give her a spear. The human had a sword. She had to see how that handled her magic! "So stop moving and start praying!"

Undyne stretched her arms out, making all of the spears in the air twist about. They hummed with her magic as they aimed at the human, pointing at the soon-to-be-pin cushion. Undyne could only grin as the human continued to scowl. She wasn't even shaking! This was perfect! This was exactly what she wanted against a human, and-

"Stop!" Undyne twisted her head to see the other human running into the fight. Okay, that wasn't cool. She couldn't fight if that other brat was going to start making a fuss. The lavender hair human stopped when she was in front of the blonde. Okay, now Undyne _really_ couldn't fight! How was she supposed to attack someone that was literally asking for it? That wasn't cool at all!

"Hey! Outta the way!" Undyne yelled at the punk. "You're gettin' in the middle of our fight!" Seriously, how was she expected to right like this?

"I refuse to let this continue!" The human shouted back. Would've been pretty impressive, if she weren't stopping Undyne from finally fighting a strong human! "I can tell this is clearly a misunderstanding on both of our parts, and so I refuse to let this farce of a fight continue!"

"Farce? Like fake?" Undyne asked. What was this brat talking about? "You just showed up here and were lookin' to go into the kids rooms! How's me fighting you wrong?"

"She is here holding them hostage," the blonde spoke up from behind the human. Undyne was debating sending a spear down at her now. "We cannot be led to believe she will pay heed to any of our words." Hostage? _Seriously?_

"What are you talking about?!" Undyne yelled back. She dropped Derflinger, letting him swing in her hand as she walked forward. "I'm stayin' here cause the old dude in that tower is tryin' to help me find the rest of the monsters! I was brought her by the pink brat in this building!" She swung her arm to and fro. Would've been easy to just let those spears fall…

"Osmond is helping you?" the lavender hair punk asked. "And pink… was this… brat's name Louise?" Wait, so they knew the girl? That was something else.

"Yeah, why, you here tryin' to take her?" Undyne gripped Derf again, holding the magic blade tight. "Seein' as she's gonna be the ambassador or whatever for you humans to monsters, I ain't gonna let you hurt her." The pinkette could probably take care of herself, but Undyne couldn't be the Captain of the Royal Guard if she let anyone get hurt on her watch.

"By the Founder, no!" The lavender girl spoke. "I am here to speak with her, as an old friend from childhood. I am stealing myself in the night because… I draw too much attention in the day. I fear that has already been ruined, however." Attention, what would that matter? Something wasn't right.

"Princess, please, do not put yourself in any more danger," the blonde spoke as she continued to fight against Undyne's magic. That was useless. Wait… princess?

"Hey, hold up," Undyne stopped, snapping her fingers as she did so. The spears vanished in a bang. The girl and blonde jumped a bit, but that was it. Better than looking afraid. "Did you say princess? Like, princess of the kingdom, princess?"

"Oh, yes," the lavender hair human replied. She took off the top of her hood, staring at Undyne with the same kind of smile that Asgore liked to wear, even folding her hands beneath her cloak. "My name is Henrietta of Tristian, first princess to the kingdom."

Oh crap.

The little purple haired girl was the princess of the human kingdom… the person Asgore was going to make peace with… the one she needed permission from to go into the Elflands to find the monsters? And Undyne was fighting her guard then. The human that was actually putting up a good fight was protecting her princess.

And Undyne had attacked first. Attacked the next queen of the humans.

"Huh, that's bad luck partner." Derflinger spoke. Undyne had a better description of it.

"No, it's shit luck."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

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	7. Acts In A Disparity Of Sizes

"No, it's horrendous luck," Louise spoke through grit teeth. It was all that she could do to keep herself from screaming at Undyne until her voice was hoarse. "This was by far the most inappropriate and inexcusable manner for you to meet my familiar, your highness. I beg for your forgiveness for her insensible actions."

Louise had her head bowed to the princess of Tristian, to Princess Henrietta. She had given the princess her bed to sit on, her royal guard a chair to stand over, leaving Louise herself and Undyne on the floor. Henrietta looked non-pleased with the situation. Understandable, given Undyne's undeniably barbaric actions!

"Please, Louise, there is no need to be so formal," the princess continued to say. "We have been friends since childhood. I only wished to see you this night before my official arrival." Of course, she needed to have a friend who was beyond the guards. It made sense she would chose Louise, given their prior relationship.

"Of course, your highness," Louise spoke again. "But I must continue to beg your forgiveness for Undyne's actions. As my familiar, her faults return to me." Louise looked over at said familiar, an official failure at all manners of tact and honor.

She had her face a significant distance into the stone flooring, no doubt creating an imprint of her face into the stone. For the first time, Louise was sure the damage the monster had caused was not enough. Undyne would need to send her head into the next floor down before it was a proper show of her humility!

"Hey hey, 'fore you go spouting apologies, shouldn't ya ask why the princess and her guardsman were actin' so suspicious?" Louise whipped her head to the magic sword laying against the far wall. Louise was sure she had shoved the offensive piece of steel into a make-shift sheath. Apparently not far enough… "I thought it was pretty good on Undyne ta take the initiative against a couple of human stealin' their way in the night."

"How dare you speak in such a casual way to the princess!" The Royal Musketeer yelled at the blade, rightfully so. She even drew her own blade at the… sword. Louise wasn't sure what would be accomplished herself with the act. "Do not try and explain away your assault on royalty, _blade_. You have much to answer for and you had best let your master continue her prostration for her crimes."

"Please, Agnes, no crimes were committed." Louise watched and heard as Princess Henrietta put a hand on Agnes's arm, pulling the musketeer back. The royal guard pulled her blade away at the touch and command. "We committed a wrong for attempting to sneak in as we did. Miss… Undyne acted appropriately and valiantly given the circumstances presented to her. Were we criminals with foul intent, her actions would have saved many lives."

"Mmmff ddr mfddr," came the muffled voice from the floor. Louise could only scowl and drop her own face into her hands. Her familiar could not act proper even in the face of royalty. How was she the Captain of any Royal Guard?

"Um… you may… raise your head?" Louise found it only a small consolation that the princess was more curious than insulted by Undyne's _insulting_ display. There would have been no such luck in the presence of the queen. Manners would have to be taught before Undyne's own king was found. "I cannot hear you through the… stone."

As any command for royalty likely would, Princess Henrietta's words made Undyne's head rise from the ground in an instant.

Louise raised her sleeve to block the debris of pebbles and dust from hitting her. Even through the small cloud, it was more than evident that Undyne had not experienced even an ounce of pain or discomfort with her head buried under stone. That defeated the purpose, truly and thoroughly. At least the wrathful face Henrietta's Musketeer was making spoke of her silent agreement with Louise's judgement.

"I said I deserve it," Undyne began. "I had no idea you were royalty and I sure as hell wouldn't have attacked ya if I did know. I honestly thought you were trying to get into the building for some other reason, but if I knew you were the princess, I wouldn't have done a single thing to stop you."

"How good that you know your place, beast," the musketeer spoke. Louise was surprised by the brashness, but the royal guard was performing her duty as she should, serving the crown faultlessly. "But kind words and confessions are not recompense enough!" She slashed her hand as if it were a blade. Louise didn't see Undyne make a move about it. Her one good eye was just on the princess.

"Agnes, stop." The princess raised her hand and spoke sternly to the Musketeer. As any good guard would, the musketeer refolded her cloak and took steps back to stand behind the princess. Appropriate and loyal, two things Undyne most assuredly was not. "Now, Undyne, I assure you no wrongs have been committed. I was at fault for my inappropriate actions, and I shall not tarnish your judgment or actions, for they would have been proper and celebrated were I criminal. So please, raise your head high. You have done nothing wrong."

Louise could only stare as Undyne stared at the princess. That was shocking in itself.

The monster had, in the past few days, done everything to everyone but stayed silent. She attacked a noble for threatening a commoner, destroyed a greater portion of the school to quicken her search for a professor, done physical workouts with the other familiars as if they were toys, and even paraded herself through the market streets. This was the first time in all her time here she had been so quiet.

So of course her familiar would ruin it by laughing.

" _Undyne_!" Louise shouted at her familiar as the blue scaled monster began to snort with mirth. She raised one of her webbed hands to her mouth in a poor display of her manners. Even further insult! "How dare you laugh at the princess! Do you dare to insult her further?"

"Wha-ha-ha-ha-hat?" Undyne asked through her ill-natured cheer. It was only chilling the way her laughter made her gleaming teeth seem even larger. "I ain't laughin' to insult her, you," she switched mid laughter filled sentence from Louise to the princess. Princess Henrietta was handling this with a grace only one of royalty could possibly hope to possess.

"Then are you doing this to belittle her good will? Are you attempting to set a poorer example of your kingdom than you already have?" Louise would not let up, not until her familiar gave her an answer! If she were standing, and not kneeling on the ground, she would have kicked her familiar in the leg. All the good it would have done…

"Nah, nothin' like that," Undyne spoke with her usual mad grin, complete with her golden eye shut and a webbed hand scratching at the knot of her hair's braid. "Just that what you said sounded somethin' like what Asgore would say, 'specially if someone screwed up in front of him." Louise considered that something worth remembering, the kindness of Undyne's king.

"And that is amusing how? You think that her lady Henrietta is similar to this… Asgore of yours?" The royal guardsman spoke with a half-snarl, eyes narrowed at Undyne. It was a look Louise was sure would be right at home on her own mother's face, no doubt after the abhorrent actions Undyne had taken.

"Sort of, least when it comes to talkin' to others." Undyne responded easily to the to the musketeer, as if Agnes didn't have the permission or means to end Undyne's life. Undyne stood as she spoke on, once more towering over the room. Louise could fault the musketeer captain little for reaching for her blade. "Guess I'm just glad to see you humans got good rulers, too."

"Oh, well, thank you for your kind words," Princess Henrietta spoke in return. She took even the backhanded compliment with kindness and sincerity. Louise would repay Undyne with pure backhands once the princess was gone. "If I may, could you tell me more of this king of yours? I have heard that you are a captain of your own guard, a Royal one at that. That is save to mention the pride you have for, yet I have not even heard the name of your kingdom before. What can you tell me of it?"

Louise watched as Undyne gave a mad grin, the first true sign she was about to do or say something horrendous. It was enough to nearly make her stop her familiar from acting. But before she could, someone, or something else, did.

"Hey, hey, hold on princess," the magic sword spoke from its perched place on the wall. "All for hearing the same history lesson for the third time today, but I'd rather like ta know _why_ you were sneakin' about at night."

Louise was never more sure than now that she had made a poor choice in having Guiche buy the blade. She should have insisted the sloth noble had purchased Undyne a proper dress or armor! This blade was as bad as her familiar was.

"You have quiet the tongue despite your metal body, blade," Agnes spoke up. She was staring at the magical sword with narrowed gaze, eyes as sharp as the steel she spoke to. If only the blade properly followed the Rule of Steel. "Wouldn't it be more proper of you to stay quiet and out of the way?"

"Sorry lady, can't help ya there. That's just the _swords_ of blade that I am!" The blade started to cackle with its rusted hilt at its same horrendous and deplorable joke.

But Louise didn't know what was worse. The jest of a pun the blade made, or the laughter that Henrietta was producing.

"Oh no, don't encourage him!" Undyne let out. It was the first thing Louise could agree with Undyne thus far. "I only just got him to stop talking like that before. C'mon, don't tell me you find that kinda stuff funny." It was odd, seeing Undyne standing again yet still begging the princess.

"I apologize Sir Undyne," the princess returned. Sir… likely for Undyne's status as a member of the guard. It was better than Lady, of which the monster was clearly not. "But I find the cleverness of your sword to be both amusing and entertaining."

"Hey, if ya like that, you can bet I'll _steel_ as much attention as I can. Swords like me don't need to _hilt_ a thing. We got nothing to hide." It wouldn't stop.

Undyne and the blade were embarrassing Louise in front of the princess with every words they spoke and they both simply failed to understand even that simple fact. The only blessing, small as it was, was that Undyne was no happier with her blade at the moment than Louise was. How small the blessing was next to the misfortune it was born with!

"Oh please, stop!" The princess falsely admonished as she fruitlessly fought back giggles. Louise could only match in some small amount of horror as the lavender haired ruler of Tristian covered her lips with a gloved hand. It poorly concealed the mirthful smile beneath, let alone the giggles she was making. "You are simply too much!"

"Hey, I ain't about to dissa _point_ my first real crowd," the magical blade spoke on. Even Agnes now was growling in distaste! "Just can't help it if I'm a whole _cut_ above the rest of your court jesters." He had already used that one today! And the princess was still laughing along with his poor words.

"Oh please Derf, you gotta stop it!" Undyne was now begging the blade. How odd it was, for Louise at least. Undyne had threatened nobles for making other bow, but now she had already begged twice in one night. "We were just havin' a straight conversation with the princess! We can't have that if you're gonna be talkin' like some reject comedian all night!"

"Reject? C'mon partner, that just hurts," the rusted blade continued to squeak with its words. "I may be a bit _rusty,_ but that's no reason for me ta throw in the _pommel_."

Louise let a long low groan release from her lips, pulling itself out of her chest like an assassin's worn blade. Having to listen to the sword's speech, it felt just as painful. Undyne and Agnes didn't appear to be fairing any better, though the latter looked ready to break the blade.

Only the princess, and the royalty alone, found joy in the magical sword's butchery of the Tristian language. The founder knew why, but he would not share. Louise was afraid to know what joy there was to be had in such an art, if it could be called that at all.

"You are truly an amusing blade, Derflinger," Princess Henrietta complimented through her giggles. Even as she spoke she had a bright smile upon her lips. At least brighter than usual, though how it was possible was beyond Louise. She would have called it an impossibility were she not witnessing it. "But you do raise a fine question, especially given the unorthodox circumstances."

The princess's words brought a lull to the room, managing to pull Undyne and Agnes out of their distaste for the magical blade's abhorrent language. Louise was more than merely thankful for that. However, if the princess was to speak on, it was a priority that she was given permission to do so. Interrupting her would be an insult to the crown itself.

"In truth, I am here for two reasons," the princess started to speak. "The first is for the Familiar's Festival, as I am to be its judge. However, it was beneficial for me to come here, for the second reason that is." Princess Henrietta's gaze turned to Undyne, who had her one good eye on the princess. Louise, unfortunately, knew exactly what she meant.

"We came here looking for you," Agnes spoke up now, hand still on the hilt of her blade. Well that simplified it.

She was staring right at Undyne, eyes narrowed and with the smallest scowl the noble had ever seen. It was akin to those her mother would give her with every failed spell, or her sister would give following each failed report. It wasn't that of control or judgment. It was… disappointment… Louise found herself avoiding the gaze, even with it not focused on her.

"Wait, me?" Undyne asked as if she were not the oddest thing to appear in Tristian in the past century. "Why'd the princess come all the way out to see me? Needed to talk about somethin'?" Of all the stupid comments she could have made.

"Yes, Undyne. The princess is doubtlessly here to speak of you regarding your nigh rampage through the market earlier today _and_ likely destruction of a merchant's good!" Louise felt her hand turn white in the grip she had on them. How could her familiar, as strong as she was, still remain as simple as the rocks she could turn to dust? "It her duty as the next queen of Tristian to be aware of all dangers to the kingdom, especially those that reside within it."

"Whoa! Hey! I ain't a danger to this place!" Undyne shot up at that. She was waving her arms rapidly. It was better than a show of violence at least. "I was just gettin' upset at all the humans there were makin' hard to move through that market place. Stayin' quiet sure wasn't gonna make them get outta the way."

"So you assumed that a show of your magical abilities, within a crowd of commoners, was justified?" Agnes asked now. Louise was thankful her interjection. Surely the captain of the Musketeers and personal guard to Princess Henrietta would know how to approach the situation. "Flaunting your magic in the face of those who cannot use it. You're king would be disgraced by your actions." Louise reconsidered her early judgement.

"What did you just say!" Undyne roared at Agnes. She was standing over the royal guard in a second. Louise was standing before she took in a breath of air. She could see the princess doing the same out of the corner of her eye. "I'd never do anything ta get on the big man's bad side! You better say that to my face next time, punk!"

"Then I'll say it now!" Agnes roared back. Louise was more terrified than impressed that she was able to do so, especially after she had doubtlessly witnessed Undyne's capabilities. "No member of royalty would be proud of their guard flaunting to subjects of another kingdom! It is only by the princess's good graces that she wished to speak with you over detaining you!"

"You better get a hold on the rest of your kind before you start marching against mine, you little brat!" Undyne had her nose to Agnes's, no doubt glaring at the Musketeer with her usual deathly grin. It was hard for Louise to see behind the veil that now was Undyne's red hair. She exchanged a worried look with the princess, who returned in kind. "Cause I wasn't even here a day and I saw a punk tryin' to kill one of the other humans just for trying to give him back his own damn gift! All I did was yell at the humans ta make way!"

"Undyne, stop! There will be no fighting in the princess's presence!" Louise yelled now. Even a monkey could see where this was going to grow into.

"Agnes, you as well. We are guests, so behave." Princess Henrietta spoke next to Louise. Her voice was calmer, but it was doubtlessly an order.

Louise could have breathed a sigh in relief when her monster did indeed turn away from the Musketeer. She did cross her arms and flip her head like a true ruffian, but Louise would accept the lack in decorum over a new hole in her walls. Agnes turned away as well, shutting her eyes and hiding her hands beneath her cloak. All was well then…

"I believe we escalated too quickly into a conversation we were not prepared for," the princess spoke diplomatically. She gave eye contact to Agnes, to Undyne, and then to Louise herself. She was being as wise as her position implied. "Undyne, Agnes meant no insult to you or your king with her words."

"Sure didn't sound like it," the monster returned, crossing her arms at that. Louise was, unfortunately, almost used to the carefree manner Undyne addressed the princess. Agnes was not, at least not by the growl she made. "Pretty sure she was lookin' for a fight. I'm willin' ta go a round if she wants to."

"But I will not let her, and I do not wish for you to either," Princess Henrietta quickly returned. Louise could see Undyne breath a snort through her nose, but that was it. "I came to speak with you, for I believe the market was nothing more than a misunderstanding from the common people who were threatened by your… unique appearance. Though you are undeniably strong, you clearly act with a sense of morals that befits any knight."

"Well yeah, be kinda hard to keep my post as the Royal Guard Captain if I didn't." Undyne nodded her head with the princess's words, but she still kept her arms crossed. Louise counted her blessings. "Sides, I promised Siesta that I'd keep her and the rest of the humans safe till Asgore got here. Not 'bout to go back on a promise I just made."

It was odd, to Louise at least, how easily Undyne was able to blend together the chivalry of a night and the barbarity of a mercenary. If the princess were surprised by the monster's mannerisms, she did a superb job of not showing it. As was to be expected of royalty.

"And I once more thank you for that," the Princess returned with a slight bow of her head, but certainly far from a curtsy. She was under no obligation to bow to a Royal Guard Captain, let alone from another kingdom. "But I hope you do understand the need for us to talk, do you not?"

"Yeah, I got that," Undyne responded with a nod of her own. At least she wasn't totally insulting. Louise loathed having to take middle ground with her own familiar. "Pretty glad you're a princess that'll go out and do this kinda stuff. Asgore's the same way, 'specially round the holidays."

"Your king visits your people often?" The princess returned. Louise would not interrupt her highness. "Surely he must have the guards amongst him when he makes those visits. Though I love to visit old friends, I fear Agnes would ruin the castle if I did not take her with me."

Louise could see the princess looking at her, expecting something. So she offered a bow of her head. Royalty deserved to be treated as such. The Rule of Steel would not allow her to question the order of strength in the noble blood.

But her head shot up when Undyne started to laugh.

"Guards? Ha!" The monster's webbed hands moved from her crossed chest to her hips, holding them there to strike some menacing pose. Her grin was all that was needed. She wasn't lacking as she looked at the princess. "There ain't a monster in the Underground that's strong enough ta even make the big guy blink. Heck, he made me the Captain of the Royal Guard cause I was the first one to even lay a hit on him!"

Louise remembered this story, at least a part of it. Hearing that Undyne, the monster that she had literally seen turn stone to dust and treat walls like parchment, gain her post by managing to lay a hand on the king of her people was a truly terrifying thing.

"Truly he is that grand?" The princess asked in kind. Louise was marveled that she had only raised a hand to show her surprise, if any at all. Louise herself couldn't feel her jaw. "And you also say he is kind to your people?"

"Couldn't have a better king," Undyne agreed. It was hard to tell if she was smirking from pride or self-righteousness. The Rule of Steel bade Louise to not demand to know which. "He's the only person I'd trust to follow, cause I ain't gonna listen to someone who can't beat me in a fight!" Undyne thrusted her thumb to her chest at the statement. The words surprised Louise little.

"Then I will have to hear of both your exploits and your king's, if you are willing to share that is." Princess Henrietta extended a hand towards Undyne, palm up in a bidding notion.

Undyne, of course, grabbed it as if the princess were offering a handshake.

"Course I'd be willin' to talk about it!" The monster shouted almost in the face of the princess. Agnes had her blade out before Louise could suck in the breath of air necessary to yell. "I've got stories about the big guy that'd blow your socks off, and then some!"

"Undyne! Release the princess this instant!" Not just for the insult of touching royalty without permission, Louise feared Undyne would crush the princess's hand with her strength! Wars had been started for far, far less. Injuring royalty, there would likely be no recompense possible!

"Huh? Oh, yeah, must've meant a high-five," Undyne spoke cryptic words before releasing the princess's hand. Princess Henrietta only looked at her gloved hand for a moment before pulling it back. Hopefully it was without injury, Founder willing. "But yeah, you wanna hear about Asgore and myself? I could keep you up all night with the stuff."

"And I would be willing, if it was any other night," Princess Henrietta returned. "But the Familiar's Festival is tomorrow, and I must rest to prepare for the day."

"Festival? You got one of those goin' on? I didn't hear a thing about it till now." Undyne scratched her head at the comment. She turned her golden eye to Louise, doubtlessly in question.

Louise, in truth, had forgotten herself that the event was tomorrow.

"I-It slipped my mind," Louise responded truthfully. The Rule of Steel would not accept a lie to cover a mistake. It would only ruin the quality of the blade. "So much has happened in these past days that I simply did not keep track of it!" It did not mean that she had to be regal about the honesty. However, she should have been, given the presence of the princess!

"I am sure it will be of small consequence to either of you," the princess returned with a smile. "I am sure you will both show excellence tomorrow. I will leave you two to discuss the event." The princess bowed with her words, something far beyond what was necessary of her.

Louise bowed in kind, unwilling to let her be above the princess. She could at least see Undyne nod her head. Disrespectful as she expected, but it was better than nothing. Louise loathed that she had to accept such a thing.

"Oh hey, princess," Undyne spoke up in her usual un-cavalier manner. "'Fore you go, I got something to talk to you about."

Louise knew _exactly_ what that was going to concern.

" _Ac_ tually," Louise quickly interrupted, nearly jumping to in front of Undyne. The Rule of Steel would allow it, if she avoided a conflict through words. "We can speak at another time. You must be tired as are we."

"Hey! I ain't tired, and I'm sure as hell not too bushed to speak!" Undyne argued behind her. It was difficult, especially given the monster's size and volume, but Louise ignored her. The Rule of Steel was invaluable in helping her.

"But the conversation will not be short!" Louise spoke back more to Undyne than the princess. She would never yell at the princess. "A-And it would generate much discussion."

"Would it?" Princess Henrietta returned curiously. Louise couldn't see Undyne's face, but she must have looked something like defeated, given what the princess followed with. "Then I beg we speak of it at another time. I will look forward to the conversation as much as the stories of your king, Undyne. Until then, I bid you both good night."

Princess Henrietta gave a more reserved nod of her head before heading towards the door again. Agnes moved past Louise and Undyne, her heavy boots clanking across the stone floor as she did so. She opened the door for her majesty, allowing the princess to leave. The Musketeer lingered for a moment, staring above Louise. She needed not the Rule of Steel to know why.

"Next time you attack the princess," the musketeer began. "I don't care what she or any other noble orders. I will fight you till a dying breath is had."

Without room for ceremony or retort, Agnes left, slamming Louise's door in the process. It was a near deafening boom.

But the shouting from Undyne trumped it in spades.

"They hell did you stop me for!?" Undyne roared at her like the monster that she was. But Louise was made of Steel, and she would not bend to her own familiar. "That was like the perfect chance for me ta ask that princess of yours for help. When am I gonna get a one-on-one with her again other than now?"

"When? Preferably in court with her!" Louise yelled back, standing to the ends of her feet to gain only that much height towards Undyne. She was still being towered over. "Or better yet, when neither of us have the threats of mistakes hanging above us like a miss-hung chandelier!" That got Undyne to at least snarl a bit less.

"Kay, fine, wasn't the perfect time, but I know royalty enough to know that gettin' a chance to talk to her again is gonna be like climbing up a waterfall!" Undyne threw her hand upwards with the comment. It would have been majestic if she were holding a weapon. Otherwise it looked deplorably silly. "How'd you expect me to talk to her now!?"

"When Professor Colbert has a location of the mountain you hail from and my mother organizes a meeting!" Louise yelled back. Did her familiar truly forget the conversation from just half a day earlier?! "When we have both, we will have the chance to convince not just the princess, but the royal court as well!"

"Why would we need some court to go along with it!?" Undyne yelled back. She was putting her face into Louise's. She could only see the monster's golden eye, just as she could feel the blue scales rubbing against her nose. "Long as the princess says 'go', then they're gonna have to approve!"

"Not if those 'lackeys' could turn the grand rescue of your people into a death march!" Louise shouted back in kind. "I do not know the state of your Underground, but the army is controlled by more than one party! It would only take the dissent of a few to make saving your people impossible!"

"Are you saying you're not gonna help me then?!" Louise felt the blood constrict in her hands, given how tightly she was balling her fists. "Is that was this is all about?! Just tryin' to stop me from getting back to Asgore?! Whose side are you on?!"

Oh Founder beware!

"I am on your _God Damn Side_!"

Louise felt her eyes widen and breathing shift as she yelled those deplorable words.

Undyne must have seen the effect, because she did not roar in protest. Instead, Louise took a step back. Undyne rose to her tallest. Her room, finally, was silent. It was for a reason Louise loathed to experience.

Her breathing returned to her slowly, in deep breaths that showed the effort of her lungs from the shouting match before. Undyne did nothing the same. She only stared at Louise with a silent, yet menacing, scowl. The Rule of Steel would have none of that.

"Go sleep on the roof," Louise commanded her familiar, as any proper noble should. "I am in no mood to see you right now."

"Tch, fine," the monster returned, already turning towards the window. Not before her hand reached out and plucked the magical sword from its place against the wall. It made not a rusty squeak in protest.

With as much ceremony as Agnes, Undyne left the room, jumping through the window and swinging her way onto the shingles above. Louise could hear her crack the tiles through the ceiling. She wanted to do so much in that moment. To scream so more, to break something valuable, to perhaps tarnish the black armor that Undyne was so proud to wear.

Instead, she settled for flopping into her bed like an undignified commoner. Her body ached, her throat was sore, and she had been embarrassed before the princess and her guard by her very own familiar.

Louise groaned into her pillow, pulling at her hair until she let her hands fall.

* * *

Undyne groaned into her hands, pulling at her scales as she let her arms fall.

This was a mess. This was all just one giant mess. At least in the Underground she could go straight to Asgore to get all of this hiccups figured out.

Here? These humans had about as much common sense as the kids in Snowdin! The Captain of the Kingdom's Guard was a punk asking for a fight, the princess was all smiles tied in red tape apparently, the pinkette was switching between bein' sweet as candy to hard as steel, and they all thought she was the odd one!

And why? Cause she wanted to invade some hostile country? If her people were over there, why was that so odd? She knew Asgore would do the same thing in an instant if anyone as small as the Monster Kid was stuck somewhere they shouldn't be. The fact that she had to wait even _longer_ , just cause the princess needed to talk to someone _else_ about it… Undyne groaned again. Not even the night sky could cheer her up.

"Hey partner," Derflinger spoke up. Undyne looked down at the sword, sitting across her lap. "If that was an average day for ya, I'm pretty sure I ain't gonna be bored for long 'round you!" At least she could count on a magic sword to talk some sense.

"Yeah, that's true," Undyne admitted. Boring wasn't anything that came to mind. "But damn if this isn't the stupidest thing I've ever done. Trying to explain to a bunch of stuck-up humans that I'm gonna do everything I can to find the rest of the monsters." Why was that so hard for them to get?

"Eh, cut them some slack," Derf started. Undyne looked down at him, sure that he must have been replaced. "Pretty sure the one gal in the crowd with a sad story was that Agnes woman. None of 'em know what it's like, bein' where you are. Can't say it's logical if they don't have the logic to go with it."

Well he had a point there. That was kinda the reason Alphys told Undyne she couldn't help out a lot in her lab, too much of the science and not enough of the action. It'd be fun to take on the robots she made, especially for target practice, but that'd just make Asgore upset. Couldn't have that.

"Still, did it really have to take the whole night?" Undyne asked, laying back on the shingles of the roof, the remainder of them that weren't broken were probably in their last moments, especially if Undyne decided she wanted to take the express trip to the ground again. It was fun the first time. No, wait, she had to focus! "Staring at the stars til they ran away and I still can't figure out how I'm gonna ask that princess to help me."

"You can't just ask her?" Derflinger asked the obvious question. Undyne wished she had the obvious answer.

"If what the pinkette said was true, then just comin' out with it could make gettin' to the rest of the monsters even harder!" Undyne threw her hands up in the air as if to grab the sun, still just starting to peak over the horizon. She wanted to grab it, maybe just to throw it again. "Pretty sure Asgore called this a catch twenty two or somethin' like that. I just think I'm screwed left or right." That was the simpler way to say it.

"Ha! Looks more to me like ya just gotta be a little patient, partner," Derflinger's rusted hilt squeaked in response. "I mean c'mon! I was sittin' in a barrel for however long that ol' smith had me, for you came 'long. If I got rowdy in there 'fore you showed up, I might've been given away to some clown in a suit." Undyne grinned down at the blade.

"Kay, yeah, patience paid off there, but this is different." She spoke back. Her hand grabbed and twisted the blade. She always felt like she was grabbing the sun when she was holding him in her hands. It felt just awesome like that. "I ain't waiting for someone ta come and give me a pick me up, I'm lookin' to save my people! The longer they're in this elf land or whatever, the more danger they're in. Asgore's strong, but I'm not gonna let the big guy take on all the burdens. That's my job!"

Undyne smacked her fist to her chest, loving the dull boom it made. There were a few odd cries from down below, too. One of those weak humans probably tripped over their own feet or something.

"Hey, I ain't sayin' to do nothing now," Derflinger spoke back. "Far from it. I'm just sayin' that Pinky's got a point. Yer gonna need more than just me ta help you out. Don't get me wrong. We could take a dozen of those elves like a hot knife and butter. Buuuuuut… can the rest of the monsters?"

Undyne felt a part of her grin fall.

Oh, crap. That was a good point. There were a ton of monsters that were no good for fighting. Heck, a lot of them hated it! Washu would just try and clean the enemy's sword as they tried to stab them! And if Undyne got those elves to start attacking the monsters on purpose…

"Damn, guess I do need the humans' help, don't I?" It felt like spitting acid, at least to Undyne. Needing a human's help for a possible fight. What would Asgore think when he heard that? Okay, well, he'd probably be thrilled, but still! "Why can't this be like one of the anime shows Alphys had? You and me Derf, goin' out on a solo mission and comin' back with the sun at our backs. That's how it's supposed to go, right?" She couldn't tell what the squeaking sound he was making was supposed to mean. Kinda hard to tell if it was a sigh, laughter, or just humming. Better not be that second one.

"Well, much as I wish a lot of those stories were true, be a bad idea to take a swing without knowing it was gonna hit." Yeah, okay, there was a lot of point to that. Didn't matter how strong you were if you couldn't hit anything. It'd be like trying to show off without anything to lift. It just didn't work like that! "Sides, partner, I'm sure you'd _pommel_ anyone who actually tried ta stop us."

Undyne groaned through Derflinger's laughter. Why'd he have to take such a cool saying and ruin it like that? Seriously, he was like a magically enhanced version of Sans, just with steel instead of bone. Sans… yeah, he'd be able to keep Papyrus and Alphys in check. He'd wake up if it meant leaving the Underground.

It'd be tough, but Undyne could wait a little bit, hopefully. Asgore'd definitely understand, especially if Undyne brought an entire human kingdom with her! Alphys would get it, too… hopefully. Papyrus and Sans would keep each other in check. The rest of the monsters had them to look up to. So yeah… yeah, they had some time. Some, not a lot, but some.

The pinkette had better be right about getting on the princess's good side before popping favors though. If the answer was no even after Undyne played the good little Royal Guard, she'd have to march straight to those lands herself! Well, after she got the baldy to fork over all that he had on the place.

"Undyne! Are you awake?!" A familiar voice called to Undyne, from probably the ground several stories down. Undyne looked over the edge of the roof, already knowing who it was. Sure enough, her good eye caught sight of Siesta looking up at her, face framed by her dark hair. Kind hard to see more than that from so high up.

"Yeah, I'm up! Hold on a sec!" No reason to sit around and think if she had someone to talk to. Sides, she was hungry, so the maid would probably have something good to eat. She pushed Derflinger back into his sheath, strapped to her back and over her tanktop. She felt him sigh as he snapped into place. No idea why and no reason to care.

Undyne swung her legs over the roof and jumped off for the second time.

She felt the familiar sensation of wind racing past her as she felt towards the ground, billowing her hair and pulling at her clothes like it wanted to rip them off. It had as much chance of that as a human getting the upper hand on her in a fight.

Her feet hit the ground with a _boom_. Siesta let out a quick yelp at the sound, which kinda made sense. Must have been loud if you weren't ready for it. But she had her eyes on Undyne, wide and just shy of that typical human expression. Undyne knew she would take any difference from that usual dumb look.

"W-Wow," Siesta spoke breathlessly as she lowered her hands from her ears. She had a smile growing over her lips. Undyne widened her own to match, or more like overtake it. Couldn't let a human out grin her. "You really can do amazing things, Undyne."

"You know it!" Undyne agreed with cheer in her voice. Who was she to deny the obvious! "So how's your morning goin'? Probably better than mine." Undyne scratched the back of her head. She probably shouldn't have added that last part.

"Better? Why would you say that?" Definitely shouldn't have said it. "Did something happen last night? Was… oh, those booms of thunder were you training, were they not?" Undyne felt her brow furrow at that.

Training? She didn't so anything like training last night. That was basically a fight! Yeah, that punk Agnes was leagues better than Guiche was, probably any of the other weak humans, but they weren't playing around. The princess had to stop Undyne from making it a real battle. No doubt the booms were her spears getting ready to turn the blonde into Swiss cheese.

Oh… wait… that would be bad to talk about… yeah. Especially if what the pinkette and the pair of old humans said was true.

"Yeah, training," Undyne spoke the lie with a nod of her head. She could feel her grin twist with the dumb words. Lying sucked like the bottom of Waterfall! "Just a bad session of training, cause that happens sometimes. Things don't go right when you're training, like… thing goin' wrong."

"You're a natural at this, partner." Undyne shifted her half-formed grin into a scowl as she looked at Derf behind her back. He didn't have to give her a hard time about this, too!

"Chill it, Derf," Undyne growled out through her scowl. Could Derflinger see her scowl? Maybe not, but he could definitely hear her! "It's too early to have to deal with somethin' else."

"Oh, are you busy?" Siesta spoke up. Undyne whipped her attention back to the maid. The human had her hands kinda half folded over her chest, like she was trying to decide holding them together or let them fall to her sides. Weird. "If you are then I apologize for disturbing you."

"Nah, I'm not busy," Undyne easily dismissed. Honestly she could use a little busy work. Keep her from thinking about the princess and how messed up this whole situation was. "What's on your mind? Got something to ask?" She made sure to put her best smile back on. That always got monsters talking to her.

"I do have an inquiry, and I hope I am not being rude when I make it." Well that was one heck of a way to start a question. Undyne put her hands to her hips, preparing for what was gonna probably be one heck of a question. "You see, the other servants and I are tasked with moving the stage cart from storage to the garden center. Normally we would have the assistance of the Headmaster, but he has told us he is indisposed with guests."

"Well that's pretty dumb of him," Undyne spoke quickly. It was! That quick look on Siesta's face was just as dumb, but at least she changed it. "What kinda human makes a promise then flakes on it that easily?" Seriously. Asgore was the kinda guy who would put off meetings with the guard cause he had to be Santa Claws for the kids in Snowdin! That's why he's the best king!

"Hey partner, not ta trample on yer high horse or anything, but I'm pretty sure we can guess who Old Man Winter is meeting with." Undyne looked at Derflinger as he talked, despite him already squeaking in her ear. What was he talking about? Old Man Winter was probably the only really old human she'd seen so far, but who could the guests be…

Oh… yeah… the princess… that was probably important.

"Well uh, um…" Undyne let out, feeling her grin turn awkward. Crap! How could she turn this around? Had to do something, had to say something, something! Nope, didn't work. Do something then. Wait! Siesta, right! " _So_ you want my help movin' the cart, right?" The kind smile the maid gave was almost enough to make Undyne's legs give out. Not really, but it was a pretty good start.

"Yes! It is. I apologize if it is rude of me to ask one of such standing as yourself for such a simple task but… I feared the other nobles would not be so kind with their responses." Undyne didn't have to think long on what Siesta meant by that. That Guiche brat was only step one in a hundred steps to getting back to good graces with her. Buying Derflinger helped, but it wasn't nearly enough.

"Are you kidding me?" Undyne asked kinda seriously. She knew Siesta wasn't. The humans didn't really joke much, any of them. Derf joked more, but he was made of magic. Kinda made him closer to Undyne that any of the humans. "That's just what I need! Doin' something like that's like a hundred times better than just sitting around and thinking!" Actually, anything was better than just sitting around and thinking.

"Wonderful!" Siesta clapped her hands together with the words. Undyne felt her grin strengthen at the human's joy. Pretty hard to be upset when you make someone else happy. "Then please follow me. I can show you were we need to move the cart to."

"Lead the way then!" Undyne held her arm out for the maid. She must have been hot in that dress of her, cause her face was getting kinda red. Eh, must have been a human thing. She did turn and start walking, trailing around the stone buildings.

Undyne knitter her fingers together behind her head as she followed the human maid. It was kinda quiet, at least between them, but that was made up by what was going on around them. Undyne hadn't paid too much attention to it when she was on the roof, but it was hard to ignore right now.

The further they got from the stone buildings of the Academy, and more into the open yard area, the more humans were gathered around. They were all doing something, like setting out chairs, tables, dishes, and a bunch of other things that Undyne didn't understand. Maybe Asgore would get why they had to trim the flowers, but she didn't. Alphys would definitely know.

A fair number of the humans watched them as they passed. Well, more accurately, probably just Undyne. A few of them had that dumb human look, of course, but at least most of them were focusing on what they were doing. One of them did wave, and it took Undyne to recognize the chef from the kitchen. She'd have to hit him up for some grub later. She waved back, flashing her usual grin at the human.

"It is in here," Siesta spoke up, getting Undyne's attention again. She saw they were in front of a shed, if you could call it that. Looked more like Alphy's lab if it was above ground and made out of wood. It was huge! There must have been a lot of junk in it to be so big! "Please let me get the door, and I can show you what we need help with."

"I got no where to be. Take yer time." Undyne dismissed Siesta's probably hurried approach. Seriously, unless the princess was going to march up and say she'd give Undyne what she needed to find the rest of the monsters there really was a reason to hurry. Least none that Undyne could see right now. Siesta did give a small thank you before approaching the door.

She fished a pair of keys from her gown, undoing the locks that were over the wooden doors. Probably a good idea, cause Undyne would have torn them off. Or bitten through them. She could chew rocks, but maybe not human steel. She felt her grin grow at the idea of eating steel in front of human. Might've make them scream in fright.

"We usually have the Headmaster's aid magic to assist with the weight. But because he is indisposed…" Her words trailed off as she swung one of the doors open. Undyne started to reach a hand out, but pulled it back when the door continued to swing. Must've been lubricated well, or somethin' like that. The second door swung with just as much ease. That left Undyne staring into the shed with Derf on her back and Siesta in front of her.

Specifically, staring at what looked like giant pile of lumbar. Like, a massive amount of it. Enough to build maybe two houses in Snowdin. And it was on wheels. Thick, round, heavy wheels.

"Can kinda see why you need help with this now," Undyne spoke as she tilted her head to the side. Helped with the depth perception. Nope, still huge. "And the geezer would have helped move this how?"

"The Headmaster's air magic made lifting the cart much simpler and doable with a party of three or four servants. As it stands now, everyone of us would likely be needed to move it." Siesta's head dropped a bit as she spoke those words. Was she blushing? Probably embarrassed. "It is quite heavy." Definitely embarrassed.

"Hey, it's no sweat!" Undyne let out loudly as she set one of her webbed hands on Siesta's head. The maid's eyes went wide as she looked up at Undyne. She had that typical dumb human look. The monster gave her a bright grin regardless. Good thing, too. Cause it made Siesta's slack jaw tighten into a smile. "I'll pull this right outta here and to where you need it!"

Without waiting for another word, Undyne walked towards the cart, rotating her shoulders as she did so. It didn't look too heavy, just big. The dragon probably weighed more. Heck, her armor probably weighed the same, and she could run in that! Still, be kinda lame if she pulled something just by moving a bunch of wood.

Her hand grasped the handle of the cart, pulling it till it was taunt in her hand. One tug, two tugs… then a flat out pull. Undyne had to run a few steps forward to keep the cart from running over her. It sounded like a house was falling down with the noise it was making! It was nuts!

Still, the monster gave another bright grin at Siesta. Had to smile with every victory! Good thing, cause the human maid was smiling right back.

"You got yourself quite the pair of guns, partner," Derflinger spoke from her back. Undyne nodded her head at the sword's words. Catty and Bratty told her that a lot, especially when she helped them move stuff outta the dump. "It's almost like there's nothing you _cannon_ do!" And her grin fell.

Too bad there, cause now Siesta was laughing! Oh why did she have to lie the magic sword's jokes? That was like the one bad side to him.

"Alright, alright, quit it with the puns," Undyne dismissed as she continued to marc forward. Really wasn't hard when she had the rhythm. She heard something crack behind her though. A quick double check told her it was just part of the roof to the shed. Probably knocked out a support beam or something, nothing big. "So where's this going, Siesta?"

"Oh!" The maid let out as her name was called. Undyne saw her eyes go from her blue arms back to her one good eye. Undyne smirked at that. Probably figuring out so much muscle could be packed into one killer monster! Minus the actual killer part. For now. "I-I can show you. Yes! Please follow me." And so Undyne followed Siesta once more.

It was no surprise to Undyne that they were marching back toward the rest of the humans, with maybe a little more work done between them. Not a lot, but the chef had brought out a lot more food at least. Undyne was _really_ gonna have to hit that up. She couldn't eve remember eating last night and it was getting towards breakfast.

When Undyne pulled the cart of wood around the group of chairs, a lot of the humans started to stare at her. At least a lot more than before. Probably didn't help that the cart sounded like a tree was falling over every time Undyne rotated a wheel. At least not all of them had that dumb human expression. Most of them just looked really pleased. Well that was a heck of a lot better than dumb and quiet. Pleased meant she was doin' them a favor! They could pay her back with food.

"Now just… move over here," Siesta motioned with her arms, swinging one of them forward and the other to her side. Probably meant where to set one of the corners. It was kinda funny, cause Alphys made the same motions when she needed help moving one of her giant machines. "It needs to be square with the chairs. A-And that side has to face forward." She pointed at the right side of the cart.

"No problem there!" Undyne proudly let out. It took only a few more steps and a good swing or two with her arms to get the cart in the right spot. It groaned with every motion she made. But it got to the right spot no problem. Undyne dropped the handle when it was there. "Done! Does that mean you're all set?"

"Almost," Siesta corrected. She had a finger daintly pointed into the air. Probably nervous for asking more help. She really didn't have to be. It wasn't hard work, but any kind of work kept her muscles from getting flabby! Asgore could make it work, but she probably couldn't. "We just have to move the stairs off of the platform. Then we'll be all set! Promise!" Geez, she didn't have to act like Undyne was insulted.

But oh yeah, this was supposed to be a stage. Kinda hard to see that while there was a bunch of extra wood on it. Guess Siesta answered that unspoken questions. Undyne shrugged as she turned back towards the cart.

A quick jump was all she needed to get up the cart. Yeah, it was like twice her height, but it wasn't that big of a deal. The gasping humans must have just been short of breath from all their work. They were pretty weak. She cracked her knuckles though, grinning at the first chunk of wood that was doubtlessly a stairset.

"One set, coming up!" Undyne yelled as she gripped and flipped the wood. Probably shouldn't have flipped the wood, at least not fully.

More than a few humans yelled as the platform of wood spun maybe four or five times through the air before crashing into the ground. It made a boom, like a good boom. They kinda boom that Undyne made when she jumped from the tower in her armor. It felt good! Especially seeing that the stairs weren't broken. That was some sturdy wood.

"And another!" Undyne yelled as she turned around and flipped the second. The humans were running now, the wussies. She used less force this time, flipping the stair set twice at best! Sure, it made a boom, but it was hardly as loud as the first time. Hardly shook the stage. But hey, the job was done. "How's that?"

"I-It's perfect!" Siesta let out. She was pushing locks of her hair behind her hair. Must have gotten messed up with all the wind Undyne made from flipping wood. Good thing she didn't say that out loud, or Derf woulda made a joke out of it. "A-And you finished it quickly so… very quickly." Her eyes were looking around the stage.

"Helps when ya got the brawn!" Undyne flexed her arms with the words, feeling the sun beating off of her scales. It was still as awesome to feel as the first time she felt it. Keeping her arms flexed at shoulder height, webbed fists clenching just above her head, they coulda made a statue of her and put it in the MTT place! Yeah, but after Asgore of course. Big guy needed the respect.

Undyne blinked when she felt something press against her arm. She didn't do that.

She looked down to see Siesta putting a hand on her bicep. The human's face flushed in an instant. Like, the ketchup that Sans drank was paler colored than the human was. Kinda made it hard to ignore, especially when she swung her head away.

"I-I apologize!" She let out quickly. Why? Undyne didn't even say anything. No reason to feel bad for admiring some muscle! "I am merely… that is your strength- i-it is immense so your..." Oh! So she was enjoyin' the muscles!

"Hey, nothing ta get worked up over." Undyne let out of her hands fall on the human's head. She felt her tense for a moment, but then she felt her pushing against it. Were human's part cat? Maybe, but she'd have to ask Asgore or Alphys about that. There were those catgirls from that one show. "I ain't shy about that kinda stuff. Actually, I'm just not shy!" Undyne really couldn't think of a thing she'd want to hide.

Instead of answering, Siesta just let out a bunch of weird sounds. Maybe they were words, maybe they were burps, probably a few groans in there, but Undyne could feel her hand getting hot on top of Siesta's head. The maid must have been cooking!

"Maybe you should take a break," she suggested as she dropped her hand. "You feel like you're gonna light on fire with how hot you are." At least that got the human to look up at her.

"I-I will be fine. I promise I simply… I need a glass of water." Yeah, that'd probably be good. Actually, Undyne could use a swig of that herself. Seein' as she wasn't in Waterfall anymore, she was starting to feel like… something Sans would finish.

"Bet you could use a drink too, huh partner?" Derflinger spoke up. Undyne felt her eyes widen. He couldn't have known, no way. He was a magic sword, but he wasn't a mind reader. He wasn't going to. "Cause I bet ya feel like a _fish outta water_ , huh?"

Undyne let her head fall into her hands as Derflinger let out his squeak-filled laughter. She could even pick up a few of the other humans chuckling at the joke. Traitors, all of them! How could puns like that be funny!

"Let's get some water," she droned out. "I could really use somethin' to drink, especially for how this day is turning out." Water probably wouldn't do it, but it was a definite start. Maybe Grillby's once they found the rest of the monsters. He could make a mean drink, and a great steak.

Two paces to turn around and she saw something that made Grillby's all the more enticing to visit.

The pinkette marching towards her, face already in a scowl. Yeah, this was exactly what Undyne needed. More shouting with the pinkette. Undyne would've preferred dance lessons with the Mettaton robot.

"Actually, probably have to talk later," Undyne spoke up to Siesta. Had to talk now before the pinkette started screaming again.

Yelling was great, but it didn't need a lot of thought to know that most of the humans would probably get all scared if she started yelling. Couldn't have that with the princess around. Asgore needed her help.

"Oh! Yes, of course." Siesta bowed her head with the words. Good thing she got that. Undyne really didn't need another conversation right now. Last night was still on her mind… crap! Now it really was! "I look forward to seeing you during the festival. Please take care."

Undyne could only describe her smile as winning before the maid walked off. Made her put on a grin of her own. Well that was definitely a good thing.

"Undyne, we need to speak." The pinkette spoke as she walked up the platform. Well that was definitely a bad thing. "There are matters we need to discuss regarding the day."

"Yeah yeah, I got that." Undyne really did to. The princess was here and she was the most important human at the current moment. They needed to get her good graces if Undyne wanted to get to the rest of the monsters. Why she couldn't just slay some evil dragon and be done with it was kinda disappointing. "Where do we start?" The pinkette blinked at the question. What, did she not know?

"We… can discuss beyond the stage." She spoke with a motion of her hand. "It would be rude to get in the way of the servants as they work." Well yeah, that they could agree on. Didn't make sense to stop someone from doin' their job.

Undyne gave a nod as she approached the edge of the stage. Quick hop down and she felt the grass beneath her boots. Always felt awesome. Of course the pinkette had to take the long way around, the wuss. At least she wasn't complaining about Undyne making a scene… yet.

"So I see your morning is treating you well," the pinkette spoke up as she approached, then kept walking by. Actually, that wasn't all that bad of an assumption. Yeah, the early morning sucked, but it was hard to get mad at physical labor like this. "You seem to be keeping yourself occupied."

"Pretty easy when you got all this going on," Undyne agreed with a wave of her hand. Couple of the humans looked over at her like she was going to throw something. C'mon, she would have at least yelled some kinda battle cry before doing that! "Pretty much all you humans are doin' something, even them!"

Her head tilted towards a bunch of the animals that were crowding in a small area. Humans were with them of course. There were enough dogs in Snowdin for Undyne to know that trouble could come up if someone wasn't watching over them. Kinda meant Sans was god for something.

"They are preparing for their acts today," the pinkette returned easily, at least as it could be seen easily with a whip and wave of her hair. She had too much of it, and for Undyne to say that with how much of the stuff she had, that meant something. "It is not something that they are willing to leave to chance, as no noble should."

"Must be one heck of a show that's bein' planned out," Undyne noted as she crossed her arms. Wasn't exactly hard work what she did, but it still felt good to relax under the sun. That would always feel good! "Got enough chairs to basically fit everyone in Snowdin here! And look at all that!" Undyne's webbed hand pointed to where her eyes were looking.

All the animals she had seen the first day in this place were gathered around the students. All the brats looked about the same, minus a few sparkles here and there, but they were doing some pretty weird stuff with their pets.

One of them was letting themselves be juggled by a giant bear, rolled up into a ball and rolled across its back. Another was playing with water with some kind of squid thing. Like, literally playing with it. Shaping it like statues that is, the squid putting ink in them to make them seem… solid? Yeah, that. But even that was topped by a fire eating salamander that was basically walking through flames!

And Sylphid was flying! Yeah, couldn't forget that one. Not like there was a lot else a giant dragon had to do to be any more awesome. That blue haired chick was probably riding Sylphid, which was the training part, but still, a flying dragon was pretty awesome!

"The Familiar's Festival is a time for nobles to show off their summoned servants to the visiting families _and_ the princess herself." Oh yeah, she did say something about that last night. Or was it Agnes Nah, that guard looked more ready to strike than talk. They still needed to have a rematch. "And I am sure the part we play will be the most superb."

Undyne stopped. She must've missed something.

"Wait, what?" She asked the pinkette. The human turned where she stopped in place, giving an expression that basically screamed disbelief. Undyne wasn't sure if she should smile and nod or do… something else. "What do ya mean by that?"

The pinkette gave a huff at the question, course, before puffing out her chest and staring right into Undyne's good eye.

"Undyne, as my summoned familiar, you are expected to perform on this stage an example of your strengths." The pinkette pointed towards the stage, her other hand on her hip. She had her nose raised in the air, chest puffed out, and looking way too proud for Undyne's taste.

The pinkette was telling Undyne, the Captain of the Royal Guard for Asgore, that she was gonna be doin' some kind of act on the stage. To a crowd of humans. In a few hours….

Undyne took in a long slow breath of air. The surface air did taste great. So she let it all out with a great roar.

"What'd ya mean I gotta _perform?!_ " Undyne yelled at the pinkette.

The brat took a step back at the volume. Good! She raised her hands to her sides in defense. Even better! Undyne approached the stuck-up human with intent! Good thing the humans were as strong as they were tall, cause she was towering over the human. Actually, she was taller than all the other humans that were crowding around them now, but that didn't matter!

"Since when was I told I was gonna have to do something like that?!" Undyne didn't stop moving forward till her scales were scratching the human's nose. She really wanted to bite it off. "You never told me I had ta get in front of those punks and make a fool of myself!"

"A fool is the very _last_ thing you need to be!" The brat yelled back. Figures she would, she was probably the only human with a spine! Well, one of two now. "As my familiar, you are to impress them with your abilities. That is all." That definitely wasn't all!

"Then why the hell are all the other animals up there actin' like circus freaks?!" Undyne pointed a webbed finger at the stage. That brat Guiche and his giant mole were just one inch away from making out with one another! "I am not going to go up and there and look like some kind of show for a bunch of stuck up humans!"

"You will if you want to show how grand of a _monster_ you are!" The pinkette shouted back. Why'd she have to say that like an insult? Of course Undyne was a monster! Strongest of them all! Asgore aside. "What kind of insult would it be if you decided not to go up there? Is your pride so grand you cannot bring yourself to show your strength?!"

"You're the one who said I was showin' off too much!" Undyne yelled back. This brat couldn't have forgotten that already! Hell, she got mad over all the flimsy human junk she'd already broken! "And if I were doin' a contest against other humans or monsters, that'd be awesome! But I'm not about ta show off next to a bunch of mega-sized rodents!" Undyne completely ignored any comment Guiche made from the stage. The punk didn't matter right now.

"It would be an insult to _not_ go up there!" The pinkette stomped her foot like it meant something. She couldn't even get the ground to shake! "And if you were to _win_ with your show of strength, it could convince the other nobles to assist with rescuing your people!" Undyne wasn't falling for that pit!

"Or they could treat me like some kinda bad art!" Undyne gripped both arms of the pinkette. Lifting her into the air was like… lifting air. At least the brat lost a bit of that anger in her eyes. So much for her determination! "I've studied humans with Alphys 'nough to know what a joke is, and I'm not about to make myself inta one for this!"

"Hey, partner," Derf spoke up from Undyne's back. She ignored him. He was made of steel _and_ magic. He could take it.

"And what'd ya think I prove by beatin' a bunch of animals in a contest like this, huh?! If I'm gonna be in some kind competition, it'd better be one I gotta try in! It ain't gonna be up against moles, lizard, and freaking floating eyeballs that can't even talk!" Undyne started shaking the pinkette. She couldn't remember when, but it was kinda easy to tell with the pink locks flipping back and forth.

"Seriously partner, need ya for a sec." Undyne still didn't give the blade much. She'd talk to him later. Right now she had to get through this human's thick skull!

"What is it Derf! Better be quick!" Cause there was gonna be some serious shouts being given out in a second! The pinkette wasn't speaking up now, but she was still giving a mean evil eye!

"Don't need ta say anything, just need ya to turn around." Turn around? Why in the name of the Angel would that… oh no…

Undyne had seen enough anime to know what Derflinger meant by that. Turning around in the middle of an argument, especially in a place that wasn't her home, usually meant one of two things. Neither of them were good. Slowly, she twisted her head to see what Derf was talking about.

She almost cussed when she saw the Princess standing there, her Guard Captain by her side.

Undyne stared at them for a moment, seeing how the Princess had the typical dumb human expression, but not looking at her. Actually, she was looking at the brat Undyne was holding up off the ground. Agnes didn't have that expression, she just had a scowl. A scowl and a gun drawn. Just perfect.

"This isn't what it looks like." Undyne started off first. Had to look bad, whatever they thought it was. "Really, it isn't. Just got into an argument with the brat here."

"Release her, now." The princess commanded. Wasn't threatening, but the human's gun was. Undyne knew that could do some damage. The clicked her tongue as she let the pinkette go. The yelp of distress was evidence enough she didn't land on her feet.

The force of something dull hitting her thigh was something else. Undyne looked down quick enough to see the pinkette bouncing away on one foot. Did she just kick her? Must have been made of straw for that to hurt her more! But a quick look up showed that the blonde brat still had a gun on her.

"Hey, ya mind takin' that thing off me now?" Undyne asked the human. Seriously, it was making her nervous. It was a gun! Those things could go off accidentally. The Princess, thank the Angel, waved at Agnes. The guard moved her gun back at the action. "Don't need to lose another eye."

"Undyne," The princess began, like she was about to enter a serious discussion. Probably was, cause she was acting like Asgore, if Asgore was a tenth of his usual size and a girl. "Why were you shaking Louise in that manner?" Yeah, better talk quickly.

"Cause the brat thinks I'm going to go up on stage with the rest of the pets and make a fool of myself." Undyne thumbed at the stage, putting her free hand back on her hip. She still towered over the princess, Agnes too. "I ain't gonna go up there when I'm competing against freaking earth moles and eyeballs."

"The Familiar Festival is a tradition amongst the academy, one that is held in high regard." The princess began. That must have been written down somewhere, cause it sounded just like what the pinkette said. "Is that not something you wish to be a part of?"

"If it's something everyone's getting involved in, then I'm game." Undyne slapped her chest with the words. The Princess jumped at the boom it made. Course she did. "But right now it's like a pony show! I ain't gonna be a fool like that."

"It is not about making yourself a fool!" The pinkette shouted again. Undyne snarled as she whirled back at the punk. Just like before, the little brat didn't even blink under her gaze. "It's about showing your strength to the nobles and princess! If anything, you have the advantage because of your intelligence. Though I am _seriously_ beginning to doubt that!" Why this little…

"Are you asking for another throttling?" Undyne asked as she raised her webbed hands. If she had claws, it would've been more intimidating. "Cause it sounds like you are."

"I think I am beginning to see why Ms. Vallière was being lifted by the monster," Agnes spoke. At least she had some common sense!

"Undyne, I believe the fault here is merely a miscommunication." The princess was speaking. Crap. Had to pay attention to that. Undyne gave one more snarl at the pinkette before turning around. She could just feel the punk getting ready to kick her again! "Though many of the contestants are familiars, those that excel more in their physical attributes then mental ones, it is far from a show of merely a showman's capabilities."

"How's that?" Undyne asked. She could talk until her jaw fell off, but she'd have to explain it better than that.

"The Familiar Festival is meant to show the connection between the familiar and their partner, similar to how you likely perceive your blade." Hard to consider Derf just a blade when he could talk back, and make puns… "What is done on the stage is not the act of the familiar alone, but also that of the master that summoned them. It is a show of the strength of the bond, not the familiar alone."

Oh… oh… Undyne felt her eyes widen. At that. So… she wasn't going to be up there alone? Then the whole time the pinkette was talking about not being an insult, and Undyne said it was, Undyne was saying that she was… ah. It all lined up now.

The brat couldn't explain what the sky was to a bird!

"Why didn't ya tell me that little detail?" Undyne asked as she spun back at the pinkette. Her scowl was back on in an instant. Looked like the pinkette never lost hers! "Wouldn't it have made sense to tell me that little detail, huh?"

"It was an obvious detail you simply failed to recognize!" The pinkette yelled back. She was going to be shaken, she was going to be thrown! "Do you not see every familiar practicing with their respective masters? What did you think that would entail?"

"I thought they were trying to get them to do tricks, like a dog!" Undyne yelled back in turn. She was sure her teeth would reflect the sun right now. If she weren't nose to nose with the pinkette, it might've blinded her. "Besides, do you got any bright ideas? Cause unless you want me to juggle you for a minute, there ain't much you can do with me up there."

"You will _not_ handle me in such a way!" The pinkette shouted back. Did she not just hear Undyne? This punk was acting like she was crying one moment and then ready to fight the next. She wasn't just a brat, she was a kid!

"I believe I may have a suggestion." The princess spoke up once more. She was acting more and more like Asgore, the more Undyne was around her. "I will confess that your strength is something that is a wonder to behold, but perhaps that is not the talent you could show," the princess spoke softly with her words. Undyne pulled back on her tongue. She couldn't get angry at the princess, 'specially not if she was gonna act like Asgore over a cup a tea.

"Perhaps there is some other talent that would be beholden to witness. I am told your Underground was a kingdom, so surely you must have something else to show."

Like the magic she was made out of, something clicked in Undyne's head.

"Actually, yeah, I do got something," she confirmed, a slow grin spreading on her face. The fact that the pinkette started to slowly frown was a bonus. "But I'm gonna need somethin' first."

"And what is that? A dummy to practice on?" the blonde punk spoke up. The princess gave her an evil eye before Undyne could give her a black one. Better than nothing. Still, that Agnes would be the dummy by the end of this.

"Nah, nothin' I'm gonna break." She dismissed easily, waving her webbed hand at the human. "You guys wouldn't happen to have a piano 'round here, would ya?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

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	8. A Grand Piano, Scandelous

"I cannot believe the headmaster had a grand piano simply laying around." Louise spoke her thoughts as she watched Undyne lift the colossal instrument above her head.

It was a structure that easily required the hands of two servants or a talented air mage to move. Yet here was Undyne, holding it over her shoulder as if it were a bag of sand. It was almost disturbing in its own right that the sight no longer concerned her. She was simply used to it by now.

"It is common for most nobles houses to have an instrument, for parties or celebrations," Professor Colbert responded next to her. He was adjusting his glasses as he walked behind Undyne. He seemed far more fascinated by her familiar's strength than she was herself. "It has just been sometime since we thought a grand piano was a superior tool to use in place of an orchestral piece."

"And that's a mistake on your part!" Undyne shouted over her shoulder. It was really unneeded. The silence her very presence created left her volume of speech unneeded. Carrying the piano as she was… Louise was sure graveyards had more sound in them. "Nothin' beats a piano when it comes to a good tune. You can either get the blood pumpin' or just let yourself lay down a cool beat."

"I do not understand either of those idioms. I can only hope you mean the range of pieces is grand as the instrument itself." Honestly, it was not difficult to speak in a proper manner. The only thing regarding Undyne that boggled Louise was her inability to practice the nobility she clearly possessed. How else could one be the Captain of the Royal Guard with magic laced through her body? "And remember we are not going to the platform just yet. We do not want to spoil to the others what your performance will be."

"I got that one," Undyne returned holding up her other hand, pointing at the ceiling as if there were a point of interest above them. "Half the fun of doin' things like this is surprising people, like launching a snowball at someone walkin' down the street! Almost nothin's better than that!" Louise, despite the knowledge of what a snowball was, had not experienced one being thrown at her without an insult. It gave the young noble too many implications regarding her familiar.

"Just my input, I'm not seein' Undyne playing outside upsetting too much," the sword spoke from Undyne's back. Louise gave it a look she was sure it couldn't see. Undyne appeared to be doing much the same, with far less success. She did only have one eye. "In fact, I bet it'll be _snow_ problem!"

Louise knew her scowl was matched only by Undyne's. They were equally displeased with the chuckle Professor Colbert made.

"If you're gonna keep making those jokes, I'm gonna need to put this down." Louise had no idea how the swords deplorable form of comedy related to the monster carrying a ton of wood and metal. Perhaps it related to an equally humorless joke. "Sides, I'm gonna need to practice soon with the festival starting in… how long we got?"

"The opening ceremony will begin in approximately four hours' time," Professor Colbert spoke up again. He seemed pleased with the knowledge, as he should be. Memorizing the time indoors was no simple feat, but if any could, it would be the nobility of the Flame Professor. "The familiars will begin to perform shortly after that. As you and Ms. Vallière are together, your performance will be amongst the last of those to go." Her last name gave Louise an advantage once more. She would not allow it to be wasted.

"Sweet, plenty of time ta get the kinks worked out," Undyne gave a broad grin even as she looked forward once more. Did she even know where they were going? "But shouldn't ya be readin' up on where the rest of the monsters are? Coulda sworn you said you'd start puttin' the nights into." Even still, Louise was unsurprised to see Undyne callously talk to a professor. It was her normal unflinching demeanor. Perhaps she obeyed her own Rule of Steel…

"I have already begun to do so!" Professor Colbert spoke hurriedly. Louise felt a breeze as the professor ran ahead to walk besides Undyne. Him next to her only emphasized the colossal piano the monster was carrying, and the size of Undyne herself. "I have eliminated a few areas from the region given their high sedimentary deposits and low elevations. If there is a mountain that houses a kingdom, it would likely be located within the Peak-Skies Mountain Range or amongst the Undone Canals." Louise only recognized those names from tales she was told as a child.

"Well that's good," Undyne spoke up as she turned a corner. She started to lean a bit, probably to balance the massive amount of wood she was carrying. Louise was impressed it wasn't breaking under its own weight. It looked akin to an ox being carried by its horn. "As soon as you tell me where the X is, we're gonna have to start moving out! Cause like heck am I gonna sit around and do nothin' where I know where the rest of the monsters are!"

Louise wasn't sure if it was the monster's explosive nature or her ludicrous sense of self that told her to kick the wall. She did know what would inevitable happen when some creature like Undyne kicked at solid stone.

The wall blew inwards as if one of her spells had backfired.

Professor Colbert jumped back at the sight and sound, hands to his ears and eyes wider than the saucers over dinner. Lousie herself was far calmer. She had prepared herself for it the moment she saw Undyne raise her boot. It was the Rule of Steel that told her to strike out but… it was Undyne's logic that told her words would do little good. She could not practice magic in front of a professor, not her magic.

Undyne looked into the room she had opened a secondary doorway into, head peeking as if she were a snake. She did look the part of an eel, added with the strength of ten dragons. The mad grin she held when she pulled her head back was telling.

"This room 'ill do," she spoke with a jab of her thumb. "It's got light, and that's 'bout all I need ta warm myself up on this baby." She patted the wood with her free hand. Louise would take the blessing that the contact didn't force the piano to simply implode like everything else the monster touched.

"Heh, partner, I'm havin' a pretty hard time thinking anyone's gonna risk their neck spyin' on you." Though Louise loathed to agree with a piece of rusted steel, it had a valid point. Fear was a very common prevention method of nobles. Odd then that Undyne was not aware of it. Perhaps because it was also an instigator, or so the stories form her childhood would tell.

"I don't mind if they wanna take a listen," Undyne began, earning a bemused expression of Louise. It appeared Professor Colbert was more focused on the monster fitting the Grand Piano through the door. It was a small surprise now, the feats that the monster could accomplish. "Just think it'll ruin the whole contest thing they've gotta see the stuff before its time, ya know? Like what's the point of listening to a story if you already know the ending?"

"I hardly think music fits to such standards," Louise returned. This was a point she was confident of, even without the Rules of Steel to guide her. This was simple logic. "It is something that is meant to soothe and enjoy, not to be filled with an engrossed attention."

"Then you're listenin' to the wrong songs!" Undyne yelled her response, whirling on Louise with her usual mad grin and bright eye. She was still carrying the piano through the hole she had made in the wall. "Cause nothin' gets someone ready for a fight like a good song! Heck, you can get anyone to do anything if you've got the right beat goin! I should know, my neighbors in Waterfall were pretty much pros at the stuff. They could make body builders run away in terror if they had the right track goin'!"

There was simply too much in that statement for Louise to retort. It was as if she were being asked to recite the Rules of Steel in their entirety. It left her only with a slack jaw and twisted brow as she stared at Undyne, the monster having successfully moved the grand piano into the room she had procured. A room that was now very apparently an external storage shelter for the servants, or so the many lawn-care tools would have the noble believe.

"You sound to have… a lot to recite," Professor Colbert spoke up no. Louise gave her teacher a look, only to see him breathless and staring at nothing. What had she missed? "I-I will try and find more information regarding the monsters before the ceremony truly begins." He already began to walk away when Undyne called out to him.

"Thanks man! Be sure to tell me anything you find first!" Louise was thankful Undyne's voice didn't possess the same destructive properties as her first. It was not for a lack of trying, or so the echo of her shouting down the stone corridor could attest too. "So what do ya say we start gettin' this baby broken in, hmm? Got get the fingers warmed up if we're gonna take first place!"

That, in this moment, was something Louise could easily agree to.

"Yes, of course, time is of the essence," the noble replied as she stepped through the hole of stone that Undyne had made. She had no doubt the servants and Headmaster at this point would just assume it was Undyne's doing. Hard to imagine anyone who could let alone dare to cause damage to the Academy. "Is there anything you need of me to make this more expedient?" They were working together, after all.

"Not much you can do right now," Undyne replied flatly, though free of mirth. Louise steeled herself at the comment. It was one she was too used to hearing. "Just cause I'm pretty sure you don't got a lot of 'xperience playin' on this baby. Just tell me what ya think when I start goin', kay?"

Judging her performance? Yes, that was something Louise could do with ease. She had sat through enough balls, concerts, and performances to be able to properly judge the skill of a pianist. More than that, she knew what the nobles during the festival would _expect_. She could potentially help Undyne recruit their aide in rescuing her people. It helped a sure smile grow upon Louise's lips.

"Yes, I believe I can do that." Undyne's grin widened at the words, making her appearance appear even more maddened. It was lightened, however, by the seemingly halo of light that shined through the windows above. They showed just as well the dust that clung to the air. It would have to do for now.

"Kay then." With that, Undyne lowered the piano the ground. Louise was moderately impressed, though more likely thankful, that the monster appeared careful with setting the grand instrument back down. Perhaps she was aware of the fragility of the device. Likely, as it was implausible she had sudden become cautious of her strength.

With a satisfying dull thud, the piano was in place. The pew was pulled from its legs not a moment later, with as much care. Louise nearly cheered that nothing had broken yet, the hold in the stone wall aside.

"No Derf, gonna need to focus, so you're gonna have ta sit on the side, kay?" Undyne asked even as she was already removing the blade from her back. That was curious, but there must have been some reason to it.

"I get it, partner. Gotta focus on the music an all that." The sword was surprisingly accepting of being put aside. Commendable, at least to Louise's mind. "I really can't a _chord_ to distract you!" Damnable, to Louise's mind. The snarl Undyne made told they thought the same.

"You're lucky you're awesome Derf, or you'd be out the window right now," Undyne spoke with her twisted lips. If it were up to Louise, the sword belonged out there anyways. It was already rusted beyond reasonable repair. "But I gotta get this down first." She dropped the blade against a wall, not far from where Louise was standing, she gave the blade a look before turning back to Undyne, the monster still towering over her.

"May I ask what piece you are aiming to play?" She doubted, in honesty, she would recognize any song the monster performed. But it was a polite question regardless. One that was usually left for an announcement, as she would likely take the role of in a few hours.

"Gotta warm up first, pinky. Gimme a sec." Pinky? Louise had heard far more insulting words than that. The Rule of Steel demanded she punish Undyne, but… it was not spoken as if to insult. In fact it sounded, at least somewhat, affectionate. That was one clue.

The other was the manner in which the monster seemed to rub the top of Louise's head.

Though her hand reached up to bat away the scaly appendage, knowing already the futility of trying to combat such strength, it was all on instinct, not thought. The contact was not mocking, in contrast to the Rule of Steel. It was… kind, perhaps was the word. As if friends would enjoy in younger days. But Louise was not young anymore, and Undyne certainly was not.

"E-Enough of that!" She shakenly spoke. "Start preparing so that we are not late for the ceremony!" She had to bit her lip, hoping it would lessen the warmth of her cheeks. It succeeded, though not nearly to the degree she desired. The mad grin Undyne had, golden eye focused on her, said all that the noble needed to hear.

"Yeah yeah, don't worry your dress off." Louise gripped her blouse at the words. "I got this. Just need ta warm up, a little. I'll be blowin' your socks off when I really get into it!" Her socks? Louise didn't have time to question the monster's words, as she was already turning to the piano again.

Louise watched, arms crossed, as the monster settled into the pew, cracking her webbed fingers as she ghosted her scaly digits over the keys. Likely familiarizing herself with the differences. It was odd, now that Louise put thought into it. How did their cultures, separate as they were, having such similar instruments?

Actually, there was a good deal they had in common. Manners and roles aside, their societal structures appeared similar, with royalty and servants and even guards. Weapons recognized by one another, the very name of structures, too. Professor Colbert had spoken at length of the difficulties in contacting tribes that existed outside the four kingdoms, yet Undyne's greatest flaw was her inability to accept Tristian's sup… customs. Why was that?

"You got a long face over there. Thinkin' of something heavy?" Louise turned to the magical sword, debating if that was another one of its horrible puns or not. She decided against it, as the Rule of Steel would decree… possibly. Undyne at least would not think wrong of it. "Actually, I wanna bother you with a quick question of my own, if ya got the time?"

Louise directed her attention away from the blade as she heard the keys being played.

The notes were strong, powerful, echoing through the room they were in. A bit out of tune, but far from unintelligible. The untrained ears would accept the notes as perfect, which was grand enough for the time they had. Undyne was not playing songs though, not yet. Louise recognized the notes as playing stems of an octave. She was training her fingers again, warming up as she likely meant.

But it was still a dutiful and well done practice. The notes still flowed together, each one intended to be played after the one that came before. No miss-notes, no tremors of the scaly hands. Undyne appeared to have spoken true about her skill on the grand piano.

"We have time until Undyne plays, for me to entertain your thoughts," Louise replied to the rusty blade, not giving it a look. Could it even see her? "What is it you want to know? My family's history?" That was a common question, especially for the daughter of the Heavy Wind.

"Might be fun ta talk about later, but I got something else ta ask," the blade spoke squeakily. "I know 'nough about the humans their love of nobility and stuff, and how it all comes back ta magic. So really, I'm just wonderin' what kinda mage you are?" Louise felt her hands ball into tight fists.

"It is none of your concern," she replied automatically, a response she had given well over a hundred times before. "Now especially of all times."

"Easy now, I ain't tryin' ta dig up anything deep. Not what a sword's meant for." If it followed with a pun, she would make good on Undyne's promise to throw the blade from the room. "Just thinkin' that my partner over there's got quite the rune on her. Seen it before, from another noble who couldn't do much with magic."

"What?" Louise spoke the simple question as she twisted her head.

"Yeah, 'nother human I knew. I could give you the long and _sword_ of it, if you want." Louise was willing to overlook the deplorable pun, one it had made already once before, if it spoke honestly. "Mean, not much ta tell, being pretty far from castin' magic myself here, but when I'm not takin a nap in the sheath, I got one good eye out on the world."

"You jest," Louise spoke automatically. Undyne's piano playing tuned out from her mind as she gave her attention to the blade. "At least you are twisting words to fit my circumstances." It was another cruel way to mock her. The Rule of Steel told her as much. But a blade of rusted steel only laughed at her words.

"Hey, I'm a blade as _straight_ as they come. No use in me twistin' around." If it was another joke, it was easily ignorable. "But there ain't much ta say right now, 'specially when there are other things ya gotta keep your mind on." Other… oh, yes, the Familiar Festival. That was of utmost importance now. She nodded her head at the sword's conclusion.

"You two done talkin'?" Undyne asked. Louise wasn't truly aware of when the monster had stopped playing. But she was sitting on the pew with arms cross, an odd grin on her features. Not mad, but far from sinister. "Pretty sure I got the piano to listen ta me. So I'm ready to go." The first sentence made no sense at all; the second was clear as air.

"Yes, well, that is excellent," Louise responded as she adjusted one of her braids. She had to look her part when the nobles saw her. "Then may I ask what song you are going to play?" She doubted she would recognize any piece the monster conjured up, but it would be necessary to introduce said song later to the crowd.

"You're gonna love it," Undyne began, her grin becoming ominous with the words. "It's a song I wrote myself! Made it up for someone ta play if ever go runnin' into battle!" Of course she could not march. It was always the extreme. Wait… did she say…

"This is a song composed by you, about yourself?" Louise questioned before the monster could play on. Her webbed hands hovered over the keys, likely where she was about to slam them. No doubt it would have shattered the wood to splinters if she had. "It's meant to be played for you?" Surely she wasn't so proud as to do that.

"That's right!" Undyne shouted again, shattering any hope Louise had of the monster having hubris or humility. They were as broken as the wall they entered through. "Every hero's got to have their own theme, so I made my own up!"

Louise felt her fists ball white. Rule of Steel or simple chivalry, that would not stand!

"You are not playing some song about _yourself_!" Louise shouted at the monster. Even with her sitting before the grand piano, then only just matched in height. It was hard to talk down to a monster that had to sit to reach your height. "Even the most self-absorbed of the nobles will hire bards to sing songs for them. To play a tune about yourself to the nobles of Tristian… they'll think you either mad or some kind of megalomaniac!"

"Heh, nice word there." Louise completely ignored the blade. It could rust into the wall for all she cared. "Gotta nice ring to it. You sure it wouldn't make a neat song?" Louise continued to ignore. Thankfully, so did Undyne, if the glare in her direction was any indication.

"How else am I supposed to get through to a bunch of humans how awesome I am?!" Undyne yelled back as if that were a serious question. Could she truly not see the inanity of her own words?! "Songs are 'bout the only thing that ya don't need to have a conversation ta understand!"

"It is not about convincing them of your strength!" Louise shouted back. She took marching steps towards the monster. "You could demonstrate that with any number of acts, even the simple explanation that you prepared the stage by _yourself_! Do you think they need to know of your strength though song as well?!"

"Heck yeah they do!" Undyne roared back. She wasn't towering over Louise, sitting as she was, but she was still superior in height. "Cause that's the stuff you get stuck in your head! If they can't forget my song, they can't forget me, they can't forget the monsters, so they'll end up helping us out just for the chance to forget it!"

Louise didn't hesitate. She slapped her hands into her face.

This had to be a dream. There was no way this monster was so thick as to believe such an inane idea would work! It was more impossible than the Founder returning to rid the world of the Elves!

"All you will succeed with those actions, Undyne," Louise spoke through her hands, muffling her words. "Is convincing the nobility that your kind should be forgotten. What we need is for them to _want_ to help. Not out of spite, but _desire_."

It was what her elder sister had taught her once, not the Rule of Steel. Nobility flocked to flowers, not war. Promise them peace and prosperity over war and famine, and they will support you as often as they hoped to court you. She had to result to this logic.

The Rules of Steel hardly ever applied to the monster from the Underground.

"Ugh, fine, whatever," Undyne responded with a disgruntled noise. No doubt she was trying to find something to break. For her, everything was an option, except perhaps the grand piano. "I think it's dumb as dirt, but you know humans better than I do, bein' one and all." That she was, though higher than most in the chain-of-society.

"Thank you," Louise replied, lifting her head from her hands. She saw the monster giving a golden scowl, eye narrowed to match. It was small, but it was control. Good. "What we need is a song that is calming, peaceful, one that will implore the nobles and queen to support and find the race that fosters such things."

"Not a lot of options there," Undyne replied, resting her head in her hand as she placed her elbow on the piano. Thankfully above the keys. "Bout every song the Underground has it supposed ta get us revved up. Nothin' keeps ya alive like determination!" Her grin flashed with the word. But it left just as quickly.

Ideas were doing much the same thing in Louise's mind. Surely there had to be a song that Undyne knew to play. It was impossible to find a song for her to learn. Even the masters would forego playing a new song without time to read over and practice the piece. It had to be a song she knew. One that would tell of the monsters, of their strength, their history, perhaps even this King Asgore if possible.

It hit her like the hoof of a horse.

"I got it!" Louise felt herself yelling. She'd forgo the rules and surprise of the commoners for later. She looked back at Undyne, the monster staring at her with her bright golden eye. "All courts and countries have their own song! A theme a…. an anthem!"

"Kay, kay, yeah, that's cool," Undyne replied quickly, shaking her head with as much speed. Her twisted grin didn't change, except for it showing every emotion but joy. "So what, you want me ta play your country's theme or somethin'? I'm good, but I'm not learning a song that fast." She didn't get it!

"Not the theme of Tristian." Louise responded quickly. She pointed right at Undyne to make her point clear. "The theme of your people! The Underground!"

Louise felt her own proud grin pull at her lips when she saw Undyne's twisted grin grow back into its usual mad demeanor. Better that than any scowl the sharp fanged monster could make.

"Yeah, yeah!" Undyne started to say with quicker reps of her head. Her hair began to wave with the motion, much like Louise thought waves would onto a shore bed. "We do got that! It even fits yer bill of calm and enticing! I can't tell ya how many times I heard Asgore whistle it!" Louise felt her proud grin widen in triumph.

"Excellent! Wonderful!" Louise nearly felt herself hopping in excitement. This was really going to work! Her input would be instrumental in building the bridge between humans and monsters, and at the helm of a festival being attended by the Princess! "Can you tell me its name? So that I may introduce you?"

That was important, extremely important. The nobles and even the commoners needed a name to any song that would be the center of discussion. It had to be a name that they would repeat as they told of praises for Undyne, for the monsters, for her role as the ambassador of the humans.

With her usual mad grin, Undyne responded.

"It's just His Theme."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know this is MUCH shorter than usual, but I wanted to get this out, cause the next part is gonna be long, like easily twice this length.
> 
> If you are enjoying this story, and I want to see where it goes or ask me questions, try and jump on my Discord to talk with everyone else. You won't be alone, I promise.
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> discord.gg/fgeV4ra
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> https://www.patreon.com/WizardofWords


	9. The Size Of The Golem Fails To Intimidate You

"Remember: His Theme."

Undyne snorted at the pinkette, arms crossed and staring at the stage. Like she could forget that song. Wasn't the song she wanted to play the most, especially for what basically amounted to her 'grand reveal' for the humans, but forgetting Asgore's favorite song wasn't gonna happen. It'd be like him forgetting to prune the seven or eight hundred flowers in his court.

Her head bobbed back and forth, fingers itching against her scales to do something, anything really. She'd been sitting still for too long for any part of her liking. At least when she had tea with Asgore they'd talk about something or at least walk through the gardens. All she was doing now was sitting in some crummy chair and watching a bunch of snot-nosed brats dance on stage. Kay, dance, sing, perform, or whatever words for what a square robot could do ten times better.

She clicked her tongue, pulling back the scowl of her lips. Undyne instead kept her eyes on the current group of animals and humans prancing about on the wooden platform. Wasn't much more Undyne could said other than that. Maybe they were dancing, but it was kinda hard for her to see how some floating eyeball could dance with a human, not even counting on the fact there wasn't any music!

"His Theme. His Theme." Undyne wasn't sure if the pinkette was mocking her or honestly expected her to forget the song. Wasn't like she was gonna skip on Asgore's favorite tune.

Nah, that wasn't it. Brat was probably nervous about singing.

Not really a big deal, long as she memorized the lyrics. She seemed pretty damn confident that she could anyways, especially while Derf kept coaching her. Couldn't be her voice. Yeah, she screamed a lot, like always, but everyone in the Underground had a good voice for singing, especially when they got inside. How different could it be on the surface? Sides, she was the one who insisted on it, after talking about how she had to prove herself. Undyne couldn't say no to a human that was determined like that!

"The hopes, dreams, and bringing back to me." Undyne lifted the brow of her good eye as she stared down at the human. Like a dozen of these dumb animal acts and she had just kept talking. If getting her to sing meant she was just gonna talk to herself the whole time, maybe it would've been better to say nothing.

Maybe she just didn't want to be on stage? Yeah, Undyne almost laughed at that idea. She did snicker though. The pinkette was too full of herself to _not_ want to be on stage. Could the princess be making her nervous? Yeah, that was a thought, seein' as the princess to the pinkette was like Asgore to Undyne. Made sense, but Asgore was pretty pumped to see any of the monsters do a show, and the princess here didn't seem that different.

Maybe she was just nervous about the crowd. Speaking of, she tuned the little brat out as she looked over the rest of the crowd.

Her golden eye swayed, instead, over the crowd of humans watching. They were all dressed like the villains in the animes she and Alphys would watch. A stupid amount of gold and clothing on them, enough makeup to weight down a pressure plate, and Undyne wouldn't address the way they all held their noses up like someone let it rip.

These were the people she was gonna have to convince to help her? She had half a mind ta just spite them a let 'em go! The only one she needed on her side was the princess, and pretty ironically the one who looked decent. Undyne could see her staring up at the stage, a gentle smile and interest in her eyes. Geez, if it weren't for the massive size, battle, and gender differences, she'd be like a human version of Asgore. That was a thought… one Undyne pushed out of her head… pushed out with quick hit against her temple.

"Quit that!" the pinkette scolded beside her in a harsh whisper. Undyne bit her lip to keep herself from yelling at the punk. That'd be bad, like really bad, like the princess would definitely get upset if she started yelling during the act on stage.

But it was just temporary. Just a small amount of absolute horrendous, nerve rending, mind numbing, awful time. If Undyne got through this, and got these human punks to actually pay attention to her, she'd get a bunch of them to help her find the rest of the monsters.

That alone was worth an entire day of this circus.

"Thank you! Thank you!" Undyne whipped her head as the human brat on stage started to bow with the words.

The humans were clapping along, the princess and pinkette included. Undyne followed suit, happier that the dancing was done more than anything else. It was just one less act she had to sit through. Helped that it was the worst one of the lot so far. Even that Guiche brat who just modeled like Mettaton in front of his oversized mole was better to watch. Still, whatever, one less punk an oversized animal to watch.

Was it their turn yet? Undyne _really_ wanted to ask, but it was pretty damn hard to ask. Wouldn't normally matter, cause normally the princess that could pretty much give the order to go help Asgore and the rest of the monsters wasn't like five chairs over from them! If the pinkette was reduced to muttering instead of her usual yelling, then it'd be weird if Undyne did the same. These humans were super weird, but she just had to put up with it for a bit longer, just a bit…

"Thank you once more for your performance Mr. Febes," the old human announced from the stage. Had a pretty good set of pipes, despite looking like a single kick would turn him into dust. Probably turn the rest of the humans into paste if she kicked them though… "And now we would like to give our next student and her familiar a few moments to prepare for their act." Wait, was that them?

"We are next, Undyne." She couldn't keep a sigh from rolling through her lips at the pinkette's words. Finally!

Standing up felt like jumping out of an ice bath, more invigorating than breaking rocks! She couldn't help but to stretch her arms up with the action, feeling her muscles pull with the motion. Even her scales felt like they were being pulled. But seriously, after sitting down for only the Angel knows how many hours, it felt better than taking a hot bath with Alphys, heh.

Didn't stop the muttering from the crowd around her, but whatever. They were just a bunch of the usual humans who wore that dumb expression, open mouthed and wide-eyed. Wouldn't be half as bad if they put on a smile with it as well. No such luck there.

Undyne gave a quick crack of her neck as she turned to walk down the aisle, seeing a good number of the punks around her jump at the sound. Once more Undyne wondered how these guys were ever supposed to be a threat to monsters. It was kind of stupid how now they were the ones she needed their help from, apparently. At least the pinkette and the princess agreed on that much.

Undyne nearly popped out of the seats when she finally out it, stopping herself from hopping on one leg. It was hard to tell if the humans liked socializing that much or if they just liked to live in cramped spaces. Least the monsters had the ultimate excuse in that regard. But whatever, she needed to get ready.

The pinkette was already up on the stage, probably to 'announce' or whatever the heck she kept talking about doing. It was buying time in Undyne's book and that was what she was going to call it. She rolled her shoulders as she walked back to the main building, or as main as it could get. It was pretty easy to ignore the humans watching her. Wasn't hard to guess how they'd be looking at her.

"Thank you all for coming today, the Day of the Familiar Festival," the pinkette started talking, loudly. She had a talent for that, Undyne could admit. Be kinda funny if she got nervous, like worth making a video over. Didn't matter tight now though. She needed that piano. "I ask only for a moment of your time while Undyne gathers the tools she needs."

A piano wasn't a tool. Undyne blew a strand of hair out of her good eye as she kept walking. The pinkette could say what she wanted to, as long as it made sense. Undyne just needed to make sure the humans weren't gonna be too restless. That'd be bad. Least she seen enough human research to know that the longer they waited the more unreasonable they got. But, on the flip side, that usually led to the hero giving some pretty kick-ass shows. The odds were in her favor here.

"Before she returns, allow me to tell you of her tale, for Undyne is not like any familiar you have seen before." Got that part right, cause there was no way any of the human punks had seen a monster before.

Undyne lost hearing for the pinkette as she walked into the building, seeing the maids and butlers smiling to her as she walked by. She gave them a grin, but that was it. She had to hurry. Actually, she wanted to run. She wanted to run, get the piano, and get back out there fast as she could, but she couldn't.

Cause if she ran and broke the piano, or anything else, it'd just freak out the rest of the high-nose humans and make it hard to get their help for rescuing he rest of the monsters. For probably the millionth time, Undyne wished Asgore was here. At least he had dealt with humans before. He'd probably know what to do to get them to listen.

But he would get here, if she did her part and got these humans to listen to her. Undyne kept that though in her head as she found the hole she had made before and stepped in, seeing the piano right where she left it.

"Hey partner," Derflinger spoke from the wall. It almost made Undyne jump. Almost, but it didn't. He'd have to be sneakier than that. "Thought you lost me for a second. Keepin' me hidin' in the shadows, that'd be a real _shade_ wouldn't it." It was much harder to keep herself from throwing the blade through the window.

"Didn't forget ya Derf." But she did. "Just need ta stay focused in front of a bunch of human punks. Ain't gonna be easy, seein' as they're all about as interesting as melting snow." Sans never did bother to get his snow to melt when he moved stations, the lazy bag of bones.

"Can't blame ya for that one," Derf spoke up, getting Undyne to smirk. Smirk as she hefted the piano over her head against. Still pretty light, probably lacking the metal in the legs she had on hers. Whatever, it sounded close enough. "And I'm not 'bout to tell you right from wrong while you're carrying that."

"Good call!" Undyne spoke louder to the sword. Man, it was still sweet as those Junkyard snacks how cool of a magic blade Derf was, when he wasn't cracking puns. "Sides, I'll be back after this lame show is over. If we're lucky, we'll get to show them how awesome monsters really! Gonna need your help for that." She was going to anyway, but at least this way she was playing ball with the princess. It'd be pretty bad to get her upset, seeing as she was, ya know, the princess.

"Kay, kay, just be careful out there. I hear humans 'ill eat you alive if you let 'em." Wait? Really? Humans could do that? She'd never heard of that, not even in all the research she and Alphys did. "Seein' as you're a regular walkin' talkin' buffet of sushi!"

Derf didn't even have time to laugh before Undyne kicked him sideways.

He sped through the wall and out of sight. Undyne blinked before rolling her head. He'd be okay. He was made of metal and all that.

She readjusted the piano on her back before making her way out of the room. Had to hurry now, cause the longer she waited the longer she'd have to be on stage, probably. At least it was how she usually dealt with Sans. Had to be the same here.

Her boots moved quicker across the floor as she made her way outside. The human maids and butlers got out of her way fast when they saw what she was carrying. Pretty nice of them, making sure she had room to move. Still, had to pick up the pace if she wanted to make it out without getting those humans too riled up.

Didn't take long for Undyne to find herself back outside, the humans still staring up at the stage the pinkette was standing on. She looked like one of them right now, head raised up and talking their heads up, unfortunately not really. But it didn't take long for her the girl to look towards her. And as she did, the rest of the humans did to.

And just like Undyne knew they would, they were all wearing that same stupid human expression.

Except for the princess and her guard captain. The princess looked pretty happy actually, smiling like Asgore did when Undyne finally managed a hit on him. The guard captain, Allknees, or something like that, she looked like Mettaton. It put a smirk on Undyne's lips, even with the pain over her shoulder.

"Now, Undyne will show that she is more than simply strength of body," the pinkette was saying. It was really flowery, as Alphys would call it. A bunch of a fancy words all to say something super simple. So far only the fancy humans were like that. Thank the Angel for Siesta and the princess. "She will show that monsters, such as herself, are capable of feats great even in the realm of the soul?"

"Soul?" Undyne asked herself as she made it to the stage. Wood started creaking beneath her. She wasn't… oh, must have been the piano. "Is this part of the 'good for the soul' stuff I hear humans say?" She asked the pinkette when she got close enough, but the punk didn't even turn around. 'Course not, she was probably focused the crowd or some gunk like that. Whatever, didn't really matter right now.

Undyne carefully set the piano down once more, letting go only when she was sure its four legs were on the platform. Then there was applause.

She looked out at the crowd, good eye screwed as she looked out at them. What? Did they think she was gonna break it or something? The hell was wrong with these humans? She shook her head, feeling her hair whip at the action. She'd just have to talk to Siesta later about it. She'd probably be able to give a straighter answer than the pinkette could.

Still… this was gonna be weird, really weird. She hadn't played in front of anyone but Asgore and Alphys. Now she was playing in front of a bunch of humans that probably put her in the same category as those animals? There was almost no way of knowing how this was gonna turn out. It was like the ultimate challenge!

Even more of a holy-heck that the princess was here to listen to it. Undyne flashed her a grin, sitting politely at the center of all the rows. She grinned back, waving her hand like she knew Asgore would to the monster that ran up to greet him. She was a-okay in Undyne's book. The guard next to her needed to be taken down a peg, and she'd probably make that interesting!

Her legs swung over the pew, lifting up the guard to expose the keys. Her knuckles cracked as she looked them over. Same as they were a few hours ago, but she wasn't playing for some pink haired brat and Derflinger right now. Now, she had to impress a bunch of high-nose humans. She did that, and gettin' help to rescue the monsters was in the bag!

"Undyne will now play a piece that comes from her homeland, a theme of the Underground that is mean to give HOPE to those who are hopeless." Well, more like keep the monsters up beat, but sure, whatever. Probably more of that human talk. Had to be. "It's title, His Theme."

The pinkette turned around, giving Undyne a soft smile. She had to blink at that. The expression really suited the brat, a heck of a lot better than when she was screaming with clenched fists. It was only fair to give her one back, sure and straight as the one she wore on guard duty. They had this in the bag.

She just had to play Asgore's favorite tune. And with luck, get the pinkette to sing along.

"You ready?" Undyne asked. Had to make sure her partner in this could handle it. After all, if the brat screwed up then they were both toast. The smile on the girl's face didn't change. Good first sign.

"I am," the pinkette replied. "Whenever you are." That was a perfect sign, like second through fifth! Now Undyne just had to play.

Breath once, breath twice, fingers ready, eye closed. The beginning needed only one hand. One hand to play seven notes.

And she began to play.

The notes hung in the air as the knit together, mid-octave notes in the Treble Clef. One-and-two-and-three-and-four. One-and-two-and-three-and-four. Even if it was being played for umpteenth time, it was a beat that she still sang in her head as she played. The beat was significant.

But the heart was vital. One-and-two-and-three-and-four. Undyne swayed into the hand that played, letting her body rock with the notes. This was Asgore's song. This was the song for the Underground. If she played this without putting her soul into it, she wasn't playing it right. Good thing Undyne couldn't imagine doing anything without putting her heart on the line.

One-and-two-and-three-and-four. The singing was coming soon. She could see the punk standing ready, hands curling over her gut.

One-and-two-and-three-and-four. The pinkette would be ready. Undyne could tell with a glance that she was.

One-and-two—three—four. Singing came next. Undyne listened with shut eyes.

" _Deedee, deeded down. I beeee-lieveeed. I cooould briiiiing you baaack-tooo meeee._ "

Undyne couldn't help but grin her brightest with the pinkette's voice. For all her screaming, she could carry a tune almost as good as Alphys! But better than that, there wasn't even a single stutter! She was getting it! But that just meant they couldn't stop now.

" _IIIIn thiiiiis gaaaame. I fooooound fuuuuun. Caaaaan theeee daaaamage be uuundooone?_ "

The pinkette was evening holding the notes right! Maybe she was just a natural at using her voice, for screaming and singing. Humans were amazing when they were doing stuff they were actually good at. It just made Undyne feel so pumped. They were nailing this!

Undyne let her hand fall down the piano, stepping down the notes until she hit the chords. The chords were important, but mostly the feeling. If they were stiff, the song would fall apart. If they were loose, the pinkette would have nothin' to sing on. She had to get this right, and she would, cause she was playing for more than just herself right now.

" _Even if I'm no longer reeeeaaaally meeeee. There's still a part that lives insiiiide myyyy heart that hopes to beeeee._ "

Undyne hit a note with every syllable the pinkette sang. The right pitch, the right tempo, it was great! It had to be working. She didn't need an eye on the crowd to know that it was. They were hitting this so right that she knew Asgore would run through walls to hear her playing! Course, it would've helped if she looked at the crowd. But she couldn't. They were in the moment!

" _By your side until you reeeeach theeeee ennnnd. Noooo matter what I am by theeeen, IIII'll always be your frieeeend._ "

Now the difficult part!

Undyne played the melody and the refrain together, hands playing over and across one another. She had to hit the notes the pinkette sang, matching the tone so the words rang out. But she had the melody to worry about. One-and-two-and-three-and-four. One-and-two-and-three-and-four. She couldn't mess that up. That was what the humans were going to be whistling for days if she got this right!

And it was working! She could feel her own body swaying with the song, the same way she'd let her head bob when Asgore hummed it over tea. They were doing it! They really were! And the song was helping lift up her uplifting spirit. Perfect sense!

" _Don't leave me behind. Wont you let-_ "

**_BOOM!_ **

Undyne slammed her hands on the keys as the sound of explosion rang out over the yard. No one, especially not her, cared about the crashing sound of the keys. Not with what sounded like an explosion going off somewhere!

It sounded dull, but they were outside and hearing something like that must have been bad! At least it was bad enough that the humans were screaming and jumping from their seats. But it was even worse that she didn't get to finish the song!

The pinkette caught herself before she fell off the stage, but tumbled back. Undyne pushed away from the pew, hearing the bench clatter to the platform. Probably chipped it, but that sure as the Angel didn't matter right now. She caught the brat before she fell head first to the ground. She was good, which was good, but that explosion definitely wasn't!

Undyne's good eye stared out and around, trying to find whatever had made that kind of sound. Ground wasn't shaking, which was good, but the crowd was pretty much the exact opposite from what they were before. She saw plenty of everything.

The princess was being led away by the guard captain, but about as willing to go as Undyne was right now.

The well-dressed humans were running with their hands over the head, a bunch of them even clinging to one another on the ground like they were going to hide in the grass! They were yelling and crying and doing just about everything Undyne had seen only kids do in the Underground. How pathetic was that?!

"Undyne! There!" Least the pinkette was on top of things. Said monster looked at the pink-haired punk, seeing the human pointing behind them. Undyne followed her hand. No way the punk would point at something that didn't matter.

And she was rewarded with billowing smoke.

"Oh crap!" Undyne yelled out. Smoke was bad, pretty much always. And there was no way anyone was cooking something big enough for that much smoke. That meant trouble. Trouble meant a fight! Finally! "Kay, punk, I got this! You get outta here!" Undyne pushed the pinkette off of her, standing her upright. Ground wasn't shaking, so she'd be fine.

"What? No!" the punk shouted back, grabbing at Undyne before she even took a step. The snarl was on her lips before she even looked back down. "I am not about to flee like some coward while the Academy is under an enemy assault! I know you well enough that are not either!"

"Well duh!" Undyne shouted back. She had to shout, cause the rest of the humans were too busy screaming and running. The explosion was quieter than they were! "But I'm a Royal Guard Captain! You're just a kid!" Seriously, there was smoke, so that meant a kickass as fight!

"And this is my chance to prove my worth!" The pinkette was holding onto her arm like Papyrus, but she was like a hundred times more annoying! At least she knew Papyrus could handle himself in a fight! "If nothing else, I at least can tell of the enemy you may be facing!" Aw, seriously?!

Undyne looked at the smoke, the punk, the smoke, the crowd-of-stuck-up-humans-running-like-rabbits, the punk again. She didn't have time for this!

"Kay, fine, whatever!" Undyne yelled out. She tore her arm, easily, from the pinkette's grip. Only to swing it around the girl's waist and lifting her up. She was as light as she usually was, like air. Her scream was just one of dozens in the crowds right now. "But you better talk fast, cause I'm not about to slow down!"

Undyne took off. She heard a part of the platform creak and probably crack at her jump, but that sure didn't matter right now. Right now what mattered was taking on whatever was attacking this place. Sure didn't seem like it was anything anyone was worried about, until it apparently shook the ground with an explosion! And geez! What was here that was so worth attacking? Wasn't this supposed to be a school or something? It would be like if some human tried to attack the dump. That'd just piss her off!

But the smoke was getting closer, and that was a good thing. That meant they were getting closer! But the damn buildings were so tall that she had to run around. If she ran through them, it'd just be a pain to deal with! The grass was tearing up under her feet, the pinkette probably mutely screaming on her back, but Undyne rounded the corner and saw the cause of the smoke.

Undyne felt the ground tear up beneath her as she stopped, probably making a crevice into the yard. She didn't care. She didn't feel anything when her good eye settled on the thing creating smoke. The smoke was from a new hole in the tower wall, the one that she had to climb to reach the old human's room, the tall room. It was a massive hole, a few stories up, made by the last thing she expected to see.

A monster.

It was a monster, the size of Onion-San, maybe even bigger. Like a golem, made of dirt, and like three stories tall! If it was a little to the right, it would've been enough to block the sun completely! Undyne was a tall monster, no getting around that, but this thing made even Asgore seem small!

It was a monster with arms that hung till they were nearly dragging at the dirt, a monster that plowed through the stone tower like it was paper, a monster that groaned with the movements it made. It was a freaking monster! Yeah, it was tearing apart the tower, but it was a monster! Oh geez it was another monster! They were here!

"That's a golem!" The pinkette yelled from her back. No crap! "That's a Triangle Class Earth spell! A powerful noble must be behind this!" Wait, what?

"Oh, here already?" Huh? Undyne knew she heard someone talking. Was it the golem? No, that voice was way too quiet. She looked up, good eye squinting at the top of the monster. There was someone up there, a human! Wearing some super dorky cape! "And I was so sure everyone was at the ceremony. You must be quick to be here already." Was that punk on top of the monster doing this?

No, scratch all of that. Shred it! Who the hell was that!?

"The hell are you doin' up there!?" Undyne shouted, letting the pinkette off her back. The brat jumped to the ground as Undyne stood to her tallest. "What are you doin to that monster? Did you trick him or something?! What?!"

"Monster?" the human spoke in a voice that made Undyne's nerves grate. "I believe you are the only deplorable creature around here." Oh, this punk was gonna have a hell of a time. "As simply _monstrous_ as my golem's strength is, it is far from a being as low as yourself. It is a creature of my command. Speaking of…"

Undyne watched as the monster, no… golem, not a monster, reeled back its fist. She was focusing on that. No, not what it was doing. What it was. Wasn't a monster, wasn't a monster, just some stupid made-up thing a human did. A human made up what it _thought_ it meant to be a monster, then called Undyne lowly! The heck. The hell!

So focused was she on that she only watched as the golem's fist drove into the tower again. More shaking, more explosions, and more dust. This time the pinkette's screams were a lot louder, but at least there weren't a bunch of stuck up humans quivering and running. The golem, not monster, not one of her people, was breaking at something in the tower. The heck for? It was only fun to break stuff if it could be fixed. A super tall stone tower wasn't exactly gonna build itself back up overnight!

The golem pulled back its fist… it was a fist, right? An arm? Finger? Undyne couldn't tell. What she could tell were the giant boulders that were falling out of the tower, tumbling to the dirt. What she noticed just after that were how many of them were flying towards her and the pinkette.

At about her size, they weren't that big.

Undyne clenched and swung her fist, feeling the boulder hit the back of her hand. She followed through, just like good form told her to, and felt the satisfying crack of the rock turning into dust and pebbles. The pinkette was still screaming though, grabbing onto Undyne like some kind of lifeline. Kind of was at this point, cause no way were these determination-less humans gonna be able to take a boulder to the face. The wimps.

"My my, you _are_ a strong one," the human kept talking from above the golem. Not a monster, Undyne had to remember that. "I am almost pleased to see the mighty Gandalfr is more than a name on a page." Was that dumber human language? Had to be. Didn't matter now.

"I'm gonna be a pain in your side if you keep doin' what you're doin'!" Undyne yelled, pointing a webbed finger at the cloaked human. Given that it was a cloak, like what the River Person wore, Undyne couldn't see the look of fear on the human's face. Had to be that, or the usual dumb expression they had on. "Step off of that pile of dirt and get down here! You do _not_ want me to get serious against you!"

Undyne _really_ wanted the human to ignore her. That meant a fight against a human, one that actually looked like they _could_ fight. No way was any of the other humans gonna get mad at her beating the crap out of this punk. Destroying someone's stuff was a fast way to get on anyone's bad list. Experience told Undyne that!

"Now why would I do that?" The human asked. The golem was still moving, Undyne realized. But it wasn't moving at them. The pinkette was still grabbing at her like Papyrus during a cooking lesson, but that was about it. No more screaming. "It has taken me years to perfect the crafting of this golem of mine. It would be beyond foolish of me to throw away my strength in a pointless battle against you."

Undyne felt her lips spread and teeth grind. Her grin felt ready to fall off of her face it was spread so wide. Even her scales were itching. This was almost the kind of fight she wanted to have. Almost. Too much magic from a human to see their determination, but at least it was better than quivering away like some kind of uprooted Echo Flower.

"Fouquet…" the pinkette almost whispered behind her. Undyne almost missed it. She gave the kid enough attention to see the little brat pointing up at the several-story golem with an accusative finger. Kind of like the Monster Kid, if he had hands. "You're Fouquet of the Crumbling Dirt, the master thief of Kingdoms!" Was that the human's name?

"What an astute student she is," said human on the golem spoke up. Kay, definitely her name. "But my identity means little when I already have my prize." Prize?

Wait, thief, so that meant the human was stealing something. Prizes were valuable, so that meant she was taking something that was rare, or at least rare to humans. What was it? A mecha? A giant gun? But this was a school… that meant it was just some dusty book, right?

Speaking of dust, Undyne put an arm over her good eye as the golem, not a monster, shook its arm. It was kinda obvious what it was doing when the rubble began to fall from it. Too far away for Undyne to care. But what she did care about was that the golem's fingers, if they could be called that, unfolded to show something in the palm of its hand, if it could be called that either.

"And I believe the blessed Staff of Destruction will be a perfect prize for a thief such as I." Then she was laughing, like the humans Undyne had spent her entire life studying. It was the same laugh she had seen in a countless number of anime with Alphys. It was the laugh that she always saw the villain give before the hero struck them down.

Undyne's grin couldn't be broader. It was a human hated among humans. Perfect.

But what the hell was the human even? Aside from being as insulting as those stuck up humans, Undyne could tell jack about them! Tall? Old? Wide? Stupid? Only that last one was obvious! All she had to go on was she used that bullcrap magic that Guiche did, but with twice as much attitude. That and she was a main villain laughing thief. That was important.

"Undyne are you even listening!?" The monster gave a quick shake of her head, looking down at the pinkette. She was glaring up with her hands weakly grabbing at her scales. Well, it felt weak, but the girl's fingers were white. "She is stealing the most powerful artifact in Tristian! We cannot let her escape!" Oh, oh!

The monster focused on the human again, seeing Fouquet look over some box. It was being held out and opened up, like shoe box, but way bigger. Undyne couldn't see the human's face, but by the way the cape was billowing, that Staff of Destruction must have been exactly what they wanted. They were holding it pretty close at least.

Guess that meant it was time.

"Don't worry," Undyne spoke up, grinning at the girl before looking back up at the human, perched on the golem like some kind of deformed bird. The cloak the human was wearing was looking down, but past Undyne, probably to where the rest of the humans were. "Me and Derf are gonna… gonna…"

Oh Crap! Derflinger wasn't with her, he was kicked through walls of stone by her a while ago! No way she could show off her kickass magic blade if he wasn't here! Plus, she couldn't get fired up without him! At least she had the sun though, hard not to get ready with that above her. She could feel it right on her scales…

Double Crap! She didn't have her armor on! How was she supposed to show how great the monsters were in battle if she didn't have her armor on!? Humans always recognized warriors by what they were wearing! The pinkette even got the Fouquet human by the cloak she was wearing!

Triple Crap! There weren't any other humans around! Even if she did show off and beat the crap out of the oversized golem, which was _not_ a monster, then it would be just the pinkette to take it all in! This wasn't a grand showing of what monsters could do on any level!

"Fun as it is to watch you bicker and monologue," the Fouquet spoke up from the golem. They had the long parcel in their arms, the Staff of Destruction no doubt. Kinda a lame weapon if it couldn't even knock itself out of the box it was being held in. "I believe it is time for my exit. Take care little monster!"

Then the golem's leg lifted.

The golem was huge, like really huge. The thing was so big that when its foot lifted, dirt and grass were being torn up. Undyne could even see the divot in the earth where it was standing. Asgore would be small next to it. But because it was so big, it was slow.

Slow was a bad thing in a fight. Undyne was slow against Asgore when they first fought, and he beat her without even getting hit. It didn't matter how strong she was if she couldn't even land a single blow. Sans made a joke about that to Papyrus once, before being chased out for his puns. The golem was slow, but Undyne was fast, at least way faster than the golem was.

So it was gonna be easy to just jump to the side, summon a spear, and skewer the Fouquet human like a pig!

But that was before Undyne remembered the pinkette was next to her, still holding onto her arm.

That was a quadruple crap. No, it was worse.

"DAMMIT!" Undyne yelled out as the golem got closer. "Hold on brat!" Undyne roared as she grabbed at the pinkette. She ignored the screams. Those were a lot better than dealing with a pasty human! One arm around the girl's midsection and she was secure enough. Undyne leant back and shoved the earth with half her might, that was all she needed.

She shot out from under the golem's descending foot, plenty of time to see the dirt get shoved up from the ground and enough of a shockwave to make the pinkette's dress shake like a flag. Guess that was the wind effect. But that was just one leg. No way it was going to stop there!

"Stay here!" Undyne yelled as she dropped the pinkette. Another scream of defiance, didn't matter. Undyne had work to do, as the Captain of Asgore's Royal Guard, she wasn't about to let a human thief break in and get away, not while she was in around! With a bang, she had a spear in her hand. "I've got this one!"

Oh yeah, she had it.

"Hey, human!" Undyne yelled at the Fouquet human, sitting too comfortably on the golem. She saw the cloak the human wore turn, no doubt out of some kind of up-high feeling of safety. Wrong feeling! "Think fast!"

Undyne threw her body forward, swinging her arm to send her spear upwards at the human.

The sound of churning earth reached her before she stood back to her tallest. What she saw wasn't what she wanted, but it wasn't bad. The golem, massive not-monster, had managed to move one of its arms into the wave of her spear. Undyne hated to admit that it looked like a freaking splinter on the size of the thing, not helped by the way the creature hardly made a sound, but the fact that it had stopped meant something!

"Not done yet!" Undyne yelled. And she really was far from done. What kind of Guard Captain would she be if she only used one spear? She flexed her arms at her sides, letting her webbed hands ball into fists at her shoulder height. She could feel the sun on her scales, she could feel herself stronger than she ever was in the Underground.

And because she was stronger, she could do more. And she'd do more than she'd ever tried before. And because she was going to do more than ever before, Undyne was just one step shy of going all out!

Undyne felt her grin widen as she flexed her arms, letting her magic flow through her like it had hundreds to thousands of times before. She was trained to use it, trained herself since she first challenged Asgore! She knew how to use it. And right now, with the surface and the sun making her stronger than ever, she felt like she could anything!

**_BANG!BANGBANG!BANGBANGBANG!_ **

Her spears exploded into the air around her, coming into existence by her magic. They floated the same way they had when she was fighting that Guiche brat. Against him, she barely even tried. Against a golem that was like a hundred times her size with a human thief on it, there wasn't an excuse to hold back!

"Next!" Undyne yelled, throwing her first and spear forward once more. Instead of one spear though, she let a dozen fly. She didn't throw her body into it. She wanted to see the spears slam into the golem, which wasn't a monster.

She had no regrets.

Her blue spears slammed into the raised arm of the golem like needles on a dartboard, the same one Undyne used to play at Grillby's, till she broke the wall. The slammed into it like those needles, but they took chunks off of the golem like it was made of clay! Pieces of dirt as big as those boulders it had pulled from the tower were falling off and slamming back into the ground, losing all their shape. It was good, but not enough.

"And another!" Undyne shouted as she threw her other hand with the motion, sending more of her spears at the golem. She could hear the human on the massive pile of dirt yell something, probably a curse or just a normal scream. Both were great to hear from bad guys! The spears stuck into the arm of the golem, or what was left it.

Just two volleys of her babies and the massive super arm of the golem was a stub without a limb! And she wasn't even getting into to the rhythm of it yet! There was so much more to go.

**_BANG!BANGBANG!BANGBANGBANG!_ **

And she had the babies to make it happen!

"What was that name?! Crumbling Dirt?!" Undyne knew it. She couldn't forget the name of the first human villain she met. That was being a bad sport. "Somethin's sure fallin' apart, and its more than the dirt you're riding!" Perfect! She was getting better at the monologues! All the practice was paying off.

"Insult intrusive beast!" The Fouquet human yelled from atop the golem. Undyne guessed it was her turn to be intimidating. "You believe a simple golem is the depth of my abilities?" Hopefully not, or villains on the surface were seriously weak! "Let me show you the strength of a master thief!"

The human brought out a stick, the same kind the pinkette and Guiche had before. It was a wand, obvious now really, but about as meaningful to Undyne as a rock at this point. Sides, it didn't matter. The human wasted their turn yelling about what they were gonna do, then it was Undyne's turn to do what she was planning.

**_BANG!BANGBANG!BANGBANGBANG!_ **

**_BANG!BANGBANG!BANGBANGBANG!_ **

Throw more spears!

"Now the other one!" Undyne yelled, knowing that the human's golem was gonna have to raise its other arm to block her. No way the stuck-up riding a literal piece of moving earth was gonna take a blow willingly, the wuss. And like she thought, her spears slammed into the other arm of the golem, taking off chunks of the not-monster with every one that indented.

A giant golem, a giant not-monster that was under the human's control… it looked more like a malformed pin-cushion now! What with all of Undyne's spears jutting out of it! And there was still so much more to go! She would have laughed if she wasn't screaming in joy at what was happening!

But the human was acting, somewhat. The stick was waving back and forth, the human waving atop the golem like some kind of made conductor. Undyne thought it was like Soul Catchers, except this human was obviously evil. But it was doing something, even if it was kinda between cool and lame.

Every time the human waved her wand about, the arms of the golem began to reform, dirt moving around and up it like some kind of reverse river. That was the cool part. The lame part was that all that was happening with that somewhat kickass magic was just blocking more of Undyne's spears! It was like hitting an endless shield. But there was only so much earth the human could use, so it wasn't endless!

"C'mon!" **_BANG!BANGBANG!BANGBANGBANG!_** Undyne yelled as she produced more of her spears, throwing them forward faster and faster. The human couldn't dodge forever! "That all you got?! This all monsters have to worry about with humans!? You can't run forever, 'specially not from me!" It was the truth, and undeniable fact. She'd run through Hotland in her armor to catch a human!

"Persistent fish!" the human yelled. Was that an insult? Papyrus usually did better and the little guy wasn't even trying! Still, it was one hell of a way to telegraph an attack.

Sure enough, the golem began to lunge forward, arm raised up to protect the cowardly human that was sitting atop of it. Its shadow loomed over Undyne, making it clear just how massive the creature was, as if the way the earth seemed to dip by it wasn't clear enough. Undyne could even feel the loose dirt falling off the column, like the dust that fell from the Underground ceiling. But that hardly mattered.

This big guy definitely wasn't gonna beat her.

"Try again!" Undyne yelled, raising her hands as the golem started to come down. It hit her full force, or at least as much of a force as a triple story not-monster could, being controlled by some twig.

**BOOM**

Her legs shook as the horizontal pillar off dirt landed on her waiting hands. They shook, but for less than a second. She was grinning the whole time. The golem was heavy, yeah, much heavier than that dragon, but it was still peanuts next to what she usually worked with. Even under the beast's shadow, she couldn't help but widen her grin. Only helped that she heard the human laughing from above the beast.

"I only need to try once against you, beast." The Fouquet human spoke. Must have thought Undyne was paste. "I'm sure the smear that's left of you will be evidence to that." Kay, the human definitely thought too little of her. Undyne was gonna have to fix that…

Her core twisted as she gripped the golem's hand, webbed fingers digging into the dirt that made it up. Crumbling Dirt definitely fit that human, cause the golem felt more like loose ruble than actual dirt. Didn't matter. In fact, that just made her job easier! Cause the deeper she dug her fingers into the golem, the further she twisted her body.

Didn't take long for her to feel whatever was holding the not-monster together to rip apart, by her own hands!

"What!?" She could hear the Fouquet human yell the question. It made Undyne's grin feel almost scale splitting. That was what villain's yelled before they were defeated! She was close! She just needed to push it a little further!

"HWAAA!" Undyne _roared_ as she finally pivoted on her heel, feeling the last of whatever-the-golem-was-made-of tearing itself apart. That left her with a massive column of dirt in her hands, still being swung like a club. Cool, but wasn't her style.

She threw it to the side, hearing the thuds of it rolling back onto the earth. She was covering a lot of grass with it, but that didn't matter right now. What mattered right now was the human riding the half-golem. The Fouquet human wasn't happy, didn't need to see under that cloak of theirs to figure that one out!

"You conniving little… flee!" These humans sucked with insults! Bratty and Catty were better when they were joking around, and she wouldn't trust them with the flat end of a sword! "You've delayed me enough as it is! So be gone!"

The human flung their wand again, like the losers did in the anime. Undyne felt the ground shake for a moment, making her stumble back. Was she making another golem? Could, but fat chance she'd let the brat of a human do-

Her thought cut itself off as massive column of dirt shot into the air. Undyne raised her scaled arms, blocking the dirt debris from getting into her good eye. Couldn't fight if she couldn't see! She threw her arms back to her sides, just in time to see the column was no column, at least not like she was used to them.

It was just a giant floating block. Yeah, it was big, big enough to probably weight half as much as the dang golem, but that didn't matter for jack!

"You can do well to defend yourself," the Fouquet human spoke, their voice just dripping with evil-villain attitude. "But can you keep her safe?" Her, who was… oh crap!

"Crap!" Undyne yelled her thought aloud. It was just in time to see the human throw her wand forward like Undyne did her spears. The block flew with it, straight over Undyne's head.

And into the remains of the building the pinkette was standing under.

The punk was gonna get crushed! Undyne couldn't let that happen! That was literally the worst that could happen right now! She jumped at the pinkette, letting her feet dig and push against the dirt. She got there as fast as she could, feeling the earth plowed by her speed.

She got there just in time to catch the falling wall.

"Gah!" Undyne let out. The wall of stone sat on her shoulders, held up awkwardly by her hand. She couldn't get a grip on it, just making her stand there and push against it. Well, all she had to do was push harder! If she pushed it back up to where it was, she could go back against the Fouquet human and turn this thing around!

"Good, now stay there!" Undyne heard the human yell, but like hell was she gonna do that! She was already flexing her legs, getting ready to shove the stone back up an-

"Guh!" She let out a breath of air. Something jumped onto the wall, something heavy. Was that the freaking golem? It wasn't nearly that heavy before!

"Undyne!" the pinkette yelled. Was she still here? Why was she still here!? She should be running! Right now she was just in the way! "I-I'm sorry! But don't worry, I'll-"

The pinkette yelled out, but Undyne didn't need to double check why.

"Are you freakin' kidding me!?" Whatever was piling on top of the hunk of wall she was holding up was starting to spill over. Figures it wasn't the golem. The damn human was freaking pouring the earth on them like it was water! That thief was trying to bury them above ground! The hell was up with that!

It didn't take long for the light to blink out, leaving Undyne holding up an unnecessarily large amount of stone and dirt, the pinkette crouched under her. Of all the stupid scenarios she could've ended up in, 'specially while she was winning her first real fight on the surface!

Her boots twisted in the grass beneath her. Couldn't see it, but she could feel it. The wall above her was heavy, sort of. Her webbed fingers had dug into the stone pretty easily, but the however-many-tons of dirt on top of the wall was actually getting pretty heavy. Had to be a lot of it, cause no way was this how strong she really was. She was way stronger than this.

In the sun that is. But right now she didn't have that. She had no sun, no spears, and no kickass magic sword. All she had was enough dirt to blot out the sun, literally. That, and a punk of a human that didn't know when it was time to get out of the way.

There was something happening outside though. Undyne could hear it. Past the heavy breathing of the pinkette and her own grunts of effort, she could hear the pounding of the dirt and a lot of banging. Maybe the rest of the humans finally decided to toughen up and fight back. That'd be nice, but pretty unlikely.

These humans were all the same, weak or cowards. They weren't anything like she thought they were.

"Undyne, are you alright?" The pinkette was speaking. Couldn't see her, not in the darkness, but Undyne could hear her still, crouched down at her feet. Had to be in order to fit in the pocket of air they had.

"Yeah… I'm good." Wasn't a lie. The damn human hadn't hit her with anything at all. Worse she had now was just some digging to do. It was annoying as all hell could be, but it wasn't hurting anywhere at least. Just sore. Or gonna be sore. Speaking of, maybe the human was hurt. It'd explain why she didn't run. "You okay?"

"I am… I am unharmed, physically." Well then what the hell!? Undyne grit her teeth, and the mountain of dirt had nothing to do with the effort. Didn't matter that her good eye was shut, cause they _were buried above ground_! "Thank you… for… saving me."

Well at least she had that part down.

"Part of my job, kid," Undyne gave the same response she gave the monster kid. These brats were both about equally intelligent. Maybe the punk was as young as the kid back at the Underground? The pinkette looked like she was ten. "Just… keep outta the way next time."

Silence followed those words. As quiet as it could be with tons of rubble and dirt atop of Undyne. Still a non-issue holding it up, but geez! There wasn't any more banging or thudding outside either. Did the humans stop the human thief? They had to be at least near the same in cowardice and strength, so maybe it evened out, maybe. Better have, given how much time Undyne had bought them.

"Why?" The question came out of nowhere. Met as well have given how dark the hollow space was.

"Why what… punk?" Undyne asked back. She took in a seething breath of air. Her muscles were getting sore. She needed the sun to get back to 100%. Or at least feel that way. That was what mattered.

"Why did you… save me?" Huh?

Undyne couldn't see the brat, but she'd be willing to take on another ton of dirt if it meant she could. The pinkette must've had on the most confusing expression in the world if she was gonna ask questions like that, now of all times!

"Cause you were… about to… be turned _into... paste._ " Undyne started to grit out the words. All that she could do to not scream at the human's stupidity. They were weak and cowardly, she couldn't take them being dumb now, too! That'd just make Alphys upset when she met them! "Hell I was supposed to do… nothing?"

"You are a member of the Royal Guard," the pinkette spoke up. Figures she didn't have to stutter. She wasn't holding up several tons of dirt and stone. "It is your job to preserve the kingdom. I… I-I am not worth near half as much as the Staff of Destruction. Why did you prioritize… me?" The what? Oh yeah, the thing the thief wanted.

"Didn't even remember… 'bout that… thing," Undyne gritted out once more. She was gonna have to do something soon, cause she wasn't getting any stronger under dirt. Wasn't the same as underground! "I was fighting… a thief. You almost… go killed. That's… more important." It really was that simple.

"It isn't that simple. I know it is not." Damn, they really were all stupid! "I am a noble, a-and my family has a lot of power but… b-but the Staff of Destruction is a holy heirloom of the Tristian court, housed by-" That did it.

" _HEY!_ " Undyne yelled aloud.

The dirt and stone groaned above her, like Sans in his sleep. But it was enough to shut the brat up. Good thing to, cause another second of her whining and Undyne was gonna have to let the dirt really bury her!

"I don't know _what_ you're… goin' on about." Undyne paused to adjust the stone wall above her. But she wasn't done scolding the brat. "No matter how big or important that… stick is supposed to be. You… are… _far… more… im-port-ant!_ "

Undyne was starting to shove the wall up. She had to, cause no way was she gonna stay in here for another second! Not with a brat that thought was worth less than some stupid staff!

"It's just a staff! You gotta… have like hundreds of them!" Undyne took another breath as she began to extend her legs. The dirt above her was groaning, the sound of shifting dirt getting louder. The pinkette was even grabbing her legs now. Probably scared of being caved in, like they already were! "You're one of a kind, no matter… _how_ messed up you _think_ you are. There's nothin' worth more than that!"

The dirt was getting lighter, or Undyne was getting stronger. Didn't matter which one to her right now. Long as she got out of here soon and away from the damn pinkette, then it was a win!

"I'm not gonna let… you get hurt… for some stupid prize… for a dumb thief…" Her legs were fully extended, her arms too, but the wall obviously wasn't off of them. Maybe… she could do that. Yeah, that would work. "You gotta figure that out."

"But-" She was already questioning it!

The pinkette cut herself off as Undyne crouched down quickly. The wall gave a thud as it was quickly let down, followed by the tons of dirt on top of it. Didn't matter to Undyne right now. She had to get out and she wasn't about to wait around.

"No buts!" Undyne shouted. She didn't realize till right now how loud she was in the small space. Didn't matter. Maybe it'd get through the pinkette's head faster! "You're worth more than any trinket, and you sure as the Angel… aren't about… to tell me… that you're not!"

She had to make her next actions count. She had to get out fast, and the best way to do that was to move fast. To move fast, she just had to be strong. She just had to lift, several tons of the rock, stone, and dirt, in a couple of nanoseconds. No sweat. She just had to go. Now.

"Cause you!" Right now. "Are worth!" C'mon! "Fighting for!" Do it!

Undyne let loose.

She practically jumped with the wall on top of her, shoving against it with all the strength she had. It felt like she was plowing through mud with the force of her jump, sounded like it to. The boom that came with the action, the dust cloud it made, and the screams of the pinkette all came together.

**_BOoooAAAEEGhOOMM_ **

"YEEEEEEAAAAAHHH!" Undyne roared into the air.

She had her eye open long enough to see the dirt falling from the sky, dirt she had doubtlessly thrown up with her exit. A genuine crater was made around her, with all the dirt the golem was made of surrounding them. Pebbles were rolling to her feet, collecting around the pinkette that was staring up at her.

The punk was a mess. Her pink hair was more brown now than anything else, that dress she always wore torn up something nasty. Bad enough that she knew Alphys wouldn't leave the lab if it happened to her. But aside from maybe a scratch here or there, hard to see through the dirt and dust, she looked fine. She even had that stupid human expression.

It left Undyne time to sigh in relief. The sun was on her scales again. She was breathing the air again. The dirt was _under_ her again. Everything was right with the surface once more.

She looked up in time to see the princess standing at the crater's edge, eyes wide and the typical human expression ono her lips. She was there, with the that blonde guard captain, and about a dozen other humans all wearing some green garb and carrying guns. Fouquet wasn't there though.

The damn human that had tried to bury her above ground, then made off like the thief that she was, wasn't there. The damn human was a coward, a coward of cowardice and stupidity! This wasn't a loss, but it sure as hell wasn't a win.

"S-Sir Undyne," the princess spoke up. Sir? Oh yeah, thought she was a knight. "You're alive! A-Are you well, okay? No, of course not. Louise! You, too! Agnes! Get water for them both, quickly!" The princess was speaking as fast as she was moving, and she was quick enough to make Papyrus with a sugar rush seem slow. Must've come with the territory. Whatever, didn't matter now, specially not with the blond guardswoman running of to do whatever the princess told her.

Undyne just needed to find Fouquet and finish her fight. Now.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Remember, you can't save Goat Bro. All you got his His Theme.
> 
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	10. Louise, Wake Up! You Have A Future!

Louise just needed to find some peace. Now.

It was difficult for her to do that, between the million questions swirling in her mind and the rhythmic rattling of the cart she was sitting in. Small distractions kept buzzing past her, both literally and figuratively. She had to bat away another stray fly, just as often as she had to discard another meaningless question. It helped little that the sun was setting and dusk approaching.

"Are you feeling well, Zero?" Kirche asked her, sitting across the card with folded legs and crossed arms. Louise gave the Germanian a hard glare, the little good it did. "Must be faring so, to be able to narrow your eyes like that." Her manicured nail pointed at her, lips curling like the ends of her robe.

"Silence, cow," Louise bit back. She felt a scowl pull at her lips. She didn't have time to deal with the Germanian's poor excuse for banter. "Unless you have something useful to say, be silent."

"Such steel in those words," the cow continued to speak. Louise could think of only one thing that could quiet a Germanian like Kirche, but none were available. "It simply leaves the mind to ponder." To ponder what, Louise didn't care. Because she had other things to think about herself. There were too many to name, but she could list what she knew. She always did her best thinking when the night came.

She knew where they were, outside the Academy in a wagon being guided by Ms. Longueville. They were on a dirt road heading due east, the same direction Fouquet had fled in. Reports from the commoners in the area said a golem had stormed in this location, others having reported spotting the thief carrying the case that held the Staff of Destruction. They had set off with the Headmaster's and Princess's blessing only moments later, only a few hours ago.

Where they were wasn't a mystery.

Louise wasn't alone with the Germanian Cow in the wagon. She knew that Tabitha was nearby, reading a book dutifully to pass the silence. A knight cavalier, as her title was so easily named, was a member of the party that could serve many purposes. Ms. Longueville sat ahead of the wagon, holding the reigns to the pair of stallions that pulled their cart down the path. The secretary to Tristian's Headmaster and a triangle class mage in her own right. Kirche, loose as she was, even had the skills of flame magic to tame vast fires. And of course, Undyne herself.

Undyne, who was walking beside the cart wearing her black armor with helm in hand. Their color matched the approaching night. Her footsteps felt as weight as the cart and stallions combined. She had no difficulty, it appeared, keeping pace next to the wagon. And she had to walk beside it, because the wood of the wagon was simply too fragile to bear the weight of the monster's armor. The only piece of steel she carried that could have been supported by the wagon was the magic sword Guiche had purchased for her. It was silent thus far, but usefulness undeniable.

Who was present wasn't a mystery.

It was just as easy to remember why they were the ones present. Their abilities ranged from the experienced to the knowledgeable. Undyne had proven her strength, her powers as a familiar, by going toe-to-toe against Fouquet's golem, and holding ground. Her loss, if it could even be described as such, was due to underhanded tactics. The three other women, sworn to other kingdoms aside from Tristian, showed the level of cooperation the Academy was hailed for, and assurance that the Staff would not be conveniently misplaced when recovered. Why they were here wasn't a mystery.

All of that sat in Louise's mind, the same way books of texts did in a library. Present, noticed, far from forgotten, but just as far from being cared for. She was there when the Headmaster gave their suggestions, when the Princess gave her blessing, and when Undyne vehemently argued to go and face Fouquet again. Unnecessary, but still noted.

What Louis thought on now was on not what Undyne did, but what she said. What she said, after what she did. Undyne's words… They were a mystery Louise could not even begin to fold her mind over.

Why was she worth fighting for?

"I'm not usually the kind of sword to stick my way into other people's business," the magic sword began to speak, peaking out from behind Undyne's back. Louise twisted to see the blade's hilt. "But I'd say that the fine young lady over there's got quite the _point_." She easily twisted back around.

"C'mon Derf, get your head in the game!" Undyne spoke back to her blade. Only when the monster was involved could Louise think such a sentence and not question her sanity. "We gotta pay that thief back, and I'm not 'bout to do it with words!" Of that, Louise could easily believe.

"I wouldn't suggest it, partner," the sword spoke in return. Another fact only possible around the monster named Undyne. One of many. "But we gotta while to go 'fore we find this human, and it ain't lookin' like we're goin' there in a hurry."

"Bad idea," Tabitha spoke simply to the swords words. It was all that needed to be said. But of course Undyne would need more. Louise knew her familiar well enough.

"Why's that?" And her point was proven almost instantly. "I thought chasin' thieves usually meant running faster than them, _then_ capturing them." Undyne swung her dark armored hand at the motion. Louise was wary of the limb. It was capable of much outside of the armor. Within it, it was truly a terrifying thing.

"Because we have a trial to follow and landmarks to identify," Ms. Longueville spoke from the head of the wagon. Her head twisted lightly over the side, at the fish monster that was following them on foot. "And a quick pace leads to simple identification. The faster we move, the more capable Fouquet will be at avoiding us." Well spoken, as the secretary to the Headmaster would be.

"Only reason why we're behind is cause you guys wouldn't let me go after her," Undyne spoke her words with a near snarl. Louise didn't need to see, she could hear it in the monster's words. "Seriously, you all wanted to talk more than you did do anything else."

"Now Undyne, we aren't nearly as tough as you are," Kirche spoke from her side of the wagon. Louise watched her wave her hand, in much the same manner she imaged a wench would. It was just visible in the looming darkness. "Endurance, perhaps, but brute strength? You blew away enough dirt to bury Sylphid with a single blow. The rest of us need plans before we act."

"Then think _while_ you act!" Undyne yelled back. It was more of a raise in tone than anything else. Far from the yelling she did… beneath… the dirt. Louise felt her skin crawl at the memory. The darkness wasn't helping. "I mean geez! If you're all so stuck in the mud till someone gives ya the okay, it's a-freaking-mazing you're not robbed even more!"

"Foolish," Tabitha spoke quietly, eyes still on her book. Louise was thankful she was not the one who had to point out the flaw. Unfortunately, she was between Undyne and the Air Mage.

"Foolish is you not bringin' your dragon, half-pint!" Undyne nearly roared back. Did she not understand she was completely defeating the purpose of a low-profile search? "I mean, that thing's gotta be able to catch up to a walking pile of dirt. Heck, I bet it coulda beat the crap out of it!" Unlikely. Superb as Tabitha's familiar was, it was only a dragon. Fouquet's golem was near the pinnacle of earth magic. It would be like beating one's fist again stone.

Then again, Undyne did rip the arm off of the golem with her own webbed hands. Louise rubbed her forehead with the tips of her fingers.

"It's odd seeing a hero boast more than the Zero." Louise grabbed her head now. Of course Zerbst wouldn't be quiet. "But who wouldn't be impressed with Sir Undyne, striking and holding off the golem of a master class noble?"

"Impressive," Tabitha added on. Her eyes still hardly drifted from her novel. It was becoming harder and harder to see that. "Not expected?"

"What, you didn't think a Royal Guardsman could handle some thief?" Undyne made some wet sound in the air. It was as if she were blowing at her cheeks. The image of her mad grin was visible in Louise's mind. "If I had Derf with me it wouldn't of been a fight at all."

"Ain't my fault I was buried in a wall," the magical blade defended. It held a good point. "You don't even know how many of the humans kept pulling on me. Didn't seem to get that I was in the wall cause ya _pummel_ ed me!" It's point was weaker than unworked coal.

"C'mon Derf!" Undyne yelled again. It took till now for Louise to realize she was likely yelling to be louder than her own footfalls. That black armor was everything else before it was light. "Puns like that are what put ya in the wall! Work with me and tone them done, will ya?" Of that plight, Louise could only agree.

Whether planned or not, conversation fell off at the question from the monster. Sound was reduced to the rumbling of the wagon, the clanging metal of Undyne's armor, and the buzzing of annoying insects throughout the air. Crickets were audible in the forest now, not to bring to point the occasional calls of owls and wolves.

It was night now, no point in denying it. The time where you either slept or thought. Louise was far from done thinking. If anything, Undyne's outbursts had only kindled that fire to an inferno. The monster that sought action over thought, confidence over caution, yet equally balanced pride and strength… how did she see Louise the Zero as worth saving?

"We must rest soon," Ms. Longueville's words jostled the trail of thought Louise had only just began to trek. She could tell the wagon was slowing, mostly due to the slower rate of Undyne's armor hitting the ground. "If we make camp by the roadside now, we can leave just before day break tomorrow." It wasn't a matter of discussion. The secretary was already turning off of the trail.

The already rickety wagon jostled enough to force Louise to brace herself at the sides. The unbeaten path of the roadside did no favors to one's balance. Yet, it was clear that it did wonders for hiding, as Louise already found it difficult to see the road. That may have been due to the night more than the foliage itself.

"Great, walk fer half the day just ta find a new place to lie down," Undyne grumbled as she followed the wagon into the woods. She was easy to place, her armor unmistakably loud. "We'd better find that thief tomorrow, cause I'm not gonna walk a whole day fer nothin'."

"We will likely reach the supposed area of Fouquet's sighting tomorrow," Ms. Longueville spoke up, the stallions halting and thus ceasing the motions of the wagon. Louise felt a relieved breath of air pass by her lips. "Before then, we must set camp and prepare for tomorrow."

In the same breath, she undid the strains of the stallions, carrying them as she moved off of the wagon's station chair. It was sign enough to move. Louise opened the small door to the wagon's rear, taking the small fall to the forest floor. It was hardly half her height in distance. Zerbst and Tabitha followed her, both having equal difficulty. Louise took the small amount of time necessary to look at Undyne.

She nearly fell dead on dirt. Her hand moved to cease her chest, vainly attempting to cease her beating heart.

"Oh!" Louise heard the Germanian Cow let out. "Oh my, Undyne… that's quite the menacing glare." For nearly the first time, Louise had no objects to Zerbst.

"Scary," Tabitha simply summarized. Simply and accurately.

It was hard to describe Undyne's golden glowing eye as anything but terrifyingly mesmerizing.

"What? This thing?" Undyne's metal gauntlet reached up for her menacing eye, treating it as if it were not shining in the night. "You mean this is weird to ya? This is pretty average fer the rest of the monsters. Ya should see Grillby, if ya want to see things glowin' in the dark." She was smirking at the words.

"I would rather we prepare for the encroaching dark," Ms. Loungeville spoke up. Louise turned to see her leading the stallions deeper into the woods. Not far, but far enough that Louise was forced to squint to see the secretary's outline. "Would you girls mind preparing a camp for us?"

"Yes," Tabitha spoke up. Her book shut with a soft 'thump', hiding it back beneath her cloak. Her staff led her deeper into the woods. Louise could feel the breaths of wind that the staff created. She was clearing a place on the forest floor.

"I'll get the wood then." Undyne announced. It took Louise a moment to realize the crack she heard was the monster's neck.

"When you're ready, I'll light a blaze," the Germanian Cow responded. Louise felt her lip curl, but she could not deny the mage's ability. Her history was in flame magic. That left her with…

"I'll… wait," Louise felt her words slowly fall out. They felt pathetic to her, something the Rule of Steel would not allow. But she could at the very least hold her head high. And it was why she was able to see the cool smirk on Zerbst's face. It was nearly hidden in the coming darkness.

But it mattered little, it wouldn't affect her thoughts. She still had thoughts of questions in her mind, more than she cared to admit, more than she wanted to address. But all needed to be thought of. All of them needed to be answered. If not now, then in the future. She walked the trail created by Tabitha, a clear path that was sure to contain no roots to trip on.

The silence that came after their departure, however, was not helping. Silence that was not abetted by her lack of activity. Made even worse by the activity of the others around her. Turned to its worst, by the glowering look of the Germanian Cow. The flick of the flaming hair she oh-so adored only made her anger smolder.

The forest floor was free of leaves, twigs, and all but a few roots thanks to Tabitha's magic. The wind was controlled and precise, as her studies allowed it to be. Undyne marched in with wood heavy enough to offset a wagon. It was no longer worth a bat of an eye from Louise, seeing Undyne's strength at its fullest.

Louise folded her skirt before settling on the ground, already feeling the dampness of the forest removed by Tabitha's well refined magic. Tabitha did the same, kneeling whilst using her staff for support. Her cloak hugged her form well. Zerbst took no such care, falling to the ground with splayed legs. Something she must been used to.

A slow sigh left Louise's lips, however, when Zerbst produced and flicked her wand at the pile of wood produced by Undyne. With a boom inaudible compared to Undyne's trouncing armor, a fire began to bloom through the flames, turning their outer bark dark as the night. The sigh turned into a low growl when Undyne gave a whistle at the display.

"Aaaaah, reminds me of the forge almost," the magic sword on Undyne's back spoke up. "Missin' the pressure, but got a nice feel to it." If there was another poor pun in those words, Louise missed it. She was very thankful for that.

"Kinda reminds me of Grillby again," Undyne spoke. She was leaning against a tree as she spoke the words. Louise was more amazed that the tree did not topple under the weight of the monster's armor. "Funny, talkin' 'bout that guy twice in one night.

"Who is this 'Grillby'?" Louise found herself asking. It was another question, but one she knew she could gain the answer to swiftly. There was just enough light left in the night for her to see Undyne's usual mad grin.

"Bartender. Worked a store named 'fter 'imself. It's got good burgers, but too damn cold fer me to go there often." Louise watched the glowing eye look up at the words. Reminiscing, or perhaps just enjoying the night as she usually did on the spire's roof. "Dude's literally on fire."

"A flame elemental?" Louise had to turn to see the speaker. She was not used to Ms. Loungeville sounding so surprised. The stallions were tied to a tree behind her. "Beings such as those are considered monsters in your Underground?"

"Gotta know what you're talking about when you say stuff like elemental and junk." Undyne stretched her arms above her head as she spoke, glowing eye shutting as she did so. It was hard to tell the ethereal appearance of the eye under the glow of the fire. "Cause Alphys told me all the time there were like over a hundred of them elements. You're gonna have ta bit more specific, 'specially since Grillby ain't exactly what I'd call made of metal."

"Nope, I'm the only metal head over here," the magic sword spoke up. Its words made the monster smirk this time. Louise crossed her arms. There was nothing humorous in the blade's words, least not to her. "But you must be goin' off the old elements, right? Fire, water, earth, 'nd air, right?" Her stern gaze was broken with a blink.

"Old? Um, yes, those are the elements that compose the world," Ms. Loungeville's question unanswered, her attention refocusing in an instant. As one would expect of a dutiful noble. "Are there monsters made of such things in the Underground?" Undyne shrugged before she answered, metal pauldrons shifting with the action.

"Pretty sure there's a talkin' rock outside of Snowdin somewhere. That's got your dirt covered." The shape and movement available to the mentioned stone would determine if it was an elemental, but sentience and thought were two very good qualifiers. "If ya can consider snow water, I know there's a snowman over there, too. Dude must be stocked, cause all he ever wanted was ta leave the Underground." That was three of four then. It was safe to assume the last existed, though it was hard to imagine the wind elemental being secure in the Underground.

"Amazing," Tabitha spoke quietly. "But tired," her words continued. She was leaning her head down as she spoke. The fire was the only thing staving off the darkness of the night. She could see that even the Germanian Cow let out an unstifled yawn of fatigue.

"It is late, and we must be ready for travel again in the morning," Ms. Loungeville spoke easily as she took her place by the fire, settling into crossed legs before leaning back. "Undyne, if you could take first watch for the night, it would be most appreciated." If it were but a week before, Louise would find the idea of the request too forceful to be taken. But if it were given to Undyne…

"I'm on it," Undyne spoke, pushing off the tree. There was no surprise in Louise's face as she saw the claw like indents left in the bark of the tree. "All get a sweet night's rest."

Now was her chance. Alone, at night, with all other members of the party either asleep or not paying attention to her. And… so what if they were? Undyne was Louise's familiar. She didn't need to wait for a specific time to talk to her own familiar! But it was better to. Because the Rule of Steel…

Because it didn't feel right. And if Undyne acted on feelings, and she was a strong as she was, maybe Louise could to. But she shouldn't because the Rule of Steel said not to. A rule that meant to be guided by logic and experience, not fiery emotions! It was what made her mother her legend, her sisters prodigies. It was all that she had known.

But logic, even the Rule of Steel, said to talk to Undyne about this, didn't it? Wouldn't the Rules require information, require the knowledge? And Undyne, the source of her woes, was the best one to ask of such things. Yes, that was the truth of it. She was using the rules to… question the rules. A discussion was truly necessary on the subject.

Louise steeled herself, as she knew the rules would ask now of all times. Rising to her feet, she ignored the odd insect that buzzed past her ear, seeking the fire they had made. She was looking for something else. Her heels twisted as she went past the trees, ignoring the remainder of her party They were either asleep or made no move to stop her.

The speed at which Louise moved from visible to indiscernible was comparable in speed to snuffing out a candle. Her eyes blinked to adjust, pausing mid-step to ensure she would not trip on the odd route, or odd animal. One was far more disturbing an idea than the other. It mattered not. She had the Rule of Steel to guide her.

Her hand reached out to the tree in front of her, letting it guide her. She knew were Undyne was. She made it clear before she left to guard the camp. Her words, and also her path. Even in the dark it was impossible to miss the number of broken branches and indents in the earth. And if all those failed, she could always simply listen.

"Bet the human's gonna try and make another golem 'er whatever," she heard the monster muttering ahead of her. Doubtlessly preparing for the coming duel with Fouquet, as any knight of her liege would. "But if I got ya with me Derf, that ain't gonna do much. All I really gotta do is make sure it's me and them."

"Glad ta hear ya think so highly of me," she heard the magic sword spoke on. "But what are ya thinkin? I'm itchin' for a good fight after the last few centuries, but beatin' up dirt ain't exactly how I thought'd go."

"Pretty sure the human ain't made of dirt," Undyne spoke back. It gave Louise pause. "Sides, I'm gonna be the one tearin' the golem down! Can do it once, I can do it again, and even better!"

_Boom._

Louise felt the ground shake after the monster's declaration. Small mystery the boom was from her smashing her fist against her armor. It made Louise wonder for a moment if the monster was strong enough to dent her own armor. It was just another question in a growing pile she had for the monster. But the time to ask was now.

"Undyne," she spoke into the darkness.

Like a flame being lit, Louise saw Undyne's glowing eye look at her, illuminated in the darkness of the night. It would have been frightening if Louise were not already aware of Undyne and her nature. It's what allowed her to see the grin on the monster's face.

"Hey punk, what's up?" Undyne asked as casually as she did all things. Her voice wasn't even low despite the nature of her post. "Havin' trouble sleepin' or something?" She wasn't wrong.

"In truth, I wish to speak to you," Louise began. It was the truth, and there was much to talk about. "I have question I believe you have the answer to." Her voice didn't wave as she spoke. She was honed by Steel, and so would speak as if made from it.

"Oh, ugh, kay," Undyne spoke up. Louise could see her eye shift, as if she were leaning her head to scratch at it. "Pretty weird time ta want to talk, but it beats sittin' here and doin' nothin'. So what's up?" The stars, Louise was rather sure, but Undyne must have meant it as an invitation to talk. So Louise did.

"You are aware that I am… inexperienced when it comes to magic." She was not a Zero. Not with the proof of her deeds listening to her. "And you have seen what nobles are capable of now, having faced the Crumbling Dirt before."

"Ya mean the thief?" Undyne asked. Louise heard the monster click her tongue. "Not exactly somethin' I'm gonna clap at. Yeah, it was cool ta fight and all, but really can't be impressed by someone who's takin' from other cause they think it's fun." Even with the brashness of a mercenary, Undyne had the honor of a knight. Her king must be amazing.

"Be that as it may, Fouquet is an example of what nobles are capable of," Louise settled her back against a tree. It was harsh on her skin, even through her shirt and cloak. "She was merely for earthen magic, but a mage of equal class in another field can do just as amazing of feats. The Germanian Cow can create a fire at a camp, or an inferno in a tower. Mages of water can push the mass of a lake with a flick of their wand. My mother can craft hurricanes in the sky with time and patience."

Louise's eyes were beginning to adjust well to the darkness. It let her see Undyne's profile, dark knight framing darker armor. Arms were crossed as she sat on a bare stump, the remains of the tree that were there before just beside her. It was beginning to appear that Tabitha was correct with her guess of what the sound was earlier.

"Gotta admit that all sounds pretty sweet, but what's it gotta do with you?" Undyne's arm unfolded itself, to let her hand motion towards Louise. The armor made a grating noise to match. "Pretty sure you were there when I took that golem down three stories." The mad grin wasn't present. Louise had no wonders why.

"Because in that fight, you called me worth fighting for." There she said it. It was a fact already state, but now it was said.

It was… Louise needed to swallow on something in her throat. She was not sure what it was, but it's lack of taste was fowl to her.

"Yeah, after we got pretty much buried above ground." Undyne's head was rolling with the statement. "Kinda hard to forget that. I say somethin' that bothered you?" Her golden eye was fixed again. It did not deter Louise.

"Yes… _No_ … perhaps." And now she was faced to ask the question. A simple question that now doubled as an answer to Undyne's own. She had to speak fast, else the monster's quick mouth would surely interrupt her. "I need to know why. Why do you believe I am… worth fighting for?"

Silence met her words. It was hindered only by the occasional passing bug, or the hoot of some far off owl. Louise's fingers fisted themselves as she waited, prepared for whatever words the monster would use to excuse her words and actions. That was what she would do. Undyne would say some cruel thing to keep herself away from Louise, the same as her sisters and mother. They would call it a means to help her grow strong, to hone her steel. It was why the Rules were law. It was what mattered.

"You're kidding, right?" Louise felt the chill of the night pale in comparison to the ice in her chest. "You don't get why you're worth keepin' alive?" And the rules were right again. More cruelties.

"Because I am to be the ambassador for the humans," she spoke the once proud truth deploringly. "I am what will guarantee peace between our people." And it was all she was good for now, a role she was given out of necessity and convenience, not strength of power and will. Something handed off without thought, not awarded for deliberation. Just… there.

"Wha? Hell no!" Undyne yelled. Louise felt her world rock.

"What?" She felt herself ask suddenly, staring up at the glowing eye. Her feet took steps back, realizing too late she was already lined against a tree.

When had Undyne stood up? When was she so close to her? When did the monster become so… monstrous?

"You're important cause you're _alive!_ " The ice in Louise's heart felt like it lurched. Not even the sound of bugs reached Louise's mind.

"What?" She asked again, breath hitched and lip quivering. "I-I don't understand." This was shifting too fast, this was happening too fast.

"I mean, c'mon, geez, this is _not_ what I thought I'd be talkin' 'bout tonight." Undyne's eye fell from view for a moment, leaving Louise lost in the dark. It came back a moment later, presumably because the armored hand covering it was moved. "I thought we were gonna talk about something cool like, what's the best kind of magic you humans can do. That golem was sweet, robbin' the place aside, but you were just talkin' about all the stuff others could do."

Did she not get it? As she mocking her? Of course she was. Of course the monster was no different than anyone else. The Rules dictated this to be true. Were it not with inaction or smoldering gazes, it was with blunt words. And few people Louise had met could match Undyne's tongue. It only made sense it would eventually be turned on her.

"But geez, goin' on 'bout why I saved ya? That's like… the easiest answer ever." Louise steeled herself as the swinging golden orb of Undyne resettled on her. "You're alive. I'm strong. So I'm gonna make sure you live in a fight." It was not that simple.

"It is not that simple," Louise repeated her thoughts. The Rules of Steel were right, as Undyne had proven, so she would defend her position as well as any blade or sword crafted from the material.

"Yes it is!" Undyne yelled back. Louise could imagine her arms waving in the dark. Her sound of her armor moving was evidence to it. "The hell would make you think it would be harder than that? Seriously, like, it's my _job_ to make sure people stay safe. What's gonna change that?"

"Priorities," Louise answered, the simple and straightforward response. "To protect a holy relic, which was lost. To preserve the life of someone worth better, which there were others present. Those are only the obvious examples."

"Those are pretty damn crappy examples," Undyne let of. Louise felt her nose bristle at the comment. What kind of comeback was that? "Cause I can't think of a single time Asgore or freakin' anyone would say somethin' as stupid as that. Do you not even get how awesome you are?"

The steel shook in Louise's mind. She stared up at the monster with wide eyes, even if she couldn't see them in turn. The golden eye, slit and menacing, didn't blink as the monster it belonged to spoke on.

"Even if I forget the fact that I'm standin' here cause of your magic, _which I'm not_ , then you gotta think of everythin' else that you've done." Louise heard metal hit metal, as if Undyne were counting her digits. "You got the old guy to listen to me, made sure the princess understood where I was comin' from, got me the best view of the surface any monster's ever had, and if all that ain't enough, you're probably the only human 'round here who I respect enough ta keep me from makin' some stupid mistake!"

Louise's mouth was dry. Those were… forcefully kind. But those were not the acts of a noble. Those were favors of dignitaries, beings that could not possibly help to do what her family was meant to-

"And if you're gonna go off on that stuff you were talkin' 'bout before, forget it!" She wasn't stopping. She wasn't stopping at all. "You got no idea how many monsters in the Underground there are that just take what they got and only wish for more! You're actually doin' somethin' about it! Even if you're not there yet, so what!? It took us monsters like hundreds of years to get out of the Underground! I bet when you manage ta knock out of the park whatever it is holdin' ya back, you're going to be breakin' records left and right!"

She was… she was not being honest. It didn't matter if the steel was wavering… it didn't matter.

"I'm worthless-"

"Nobody's worthless!"

Louise jumped as Undyne roared her response. If she could see her teeth now… Louise wouldn't have had the strength in her legs to stand. It took her as long to realize that fact as it did to see that Undyne wasn't simply towering over her anymore. She was blocking her in, holding her prisoner near the tree.

"Stop sayin' stuff like that, cause it's one of the worst lies I've ever heard!" Undyne was the only thing she could see, hear, anything. "You are _not_ worthless. You are not nothing. You're a human that's doin' as much as she can for not only herself, but for the rest of the monster's I'm tryin' ta help."

She was getting too close. Undyne was far too close. She was kneeling in front of Louise, head even with Louise. All she could see was Undyne's eye, just that golden slit eye staring at her like the light that shined from the Founder's land. It was all that Louise could see, but Undyne was all that she could hear.

"You're not nothing. You're Louise."

And then there was nothing. Nothing that really mattered.

She was just left staring up at Undyne, the monster from the Underground she had summoned as a familiar. Staring at the single golden eye that was more kind than menacing, more uplifting and demeaning. The eye that saw her not as a disappointment, but as something amazing. It was… Louise didn't know.

Louise wasn't even aware that when she laid her head into the metal pauldron of Undyne's armor, the cool metal against her forehead. She could only passively note it was there when she felt her arms move around the heavy metal frame of the monster, grab at the steel that would not bend. It was cold, colder than the night air, but she could feel the security in the steel.

"H-Hey kid, yer alright, right?" Undyne asked from above her. Louise didn't respond. She didn't because she didn't know. No rules told her of what to do now. Nothing to explain what she was feeling. It felt like nothing, nothing until she was against Undyne's chest. "C'mon, yer worryin' me here."

"Your doin' fine, partner," the magic sword spoke up. Louise had completely forgotten the shard of steel was present. She was thankful for its silence. "Just make sure she's not uncomfortable. Let it all sink in."

"Let what sink in?" Undyne asked. Louise had no answer, just as the sword spoke none. But regardless, she did start to shift. Louise felt the monsters legs and greaves move until she was on the ground, Louise herself pushed into the monster's lap. Her forehead was still against the cool steel of the black armor, so dark it matched the night, eyes open or shut.

The monster's movements ended with Louise curled in Undyne's lap. It was hard and made of metal, cold like the Steel she followed without question. It was denser than stone, blacker than the night, and offered nothing in the ways of comfort.

But she could feel the warmth of the monster beneath. She could feel the care as Undyne shifted an arm, armored and thick, about her waist. She could feel that her familiar cared for her, that the monster _chose_ to care for her. She chose to believe in her. That was more than she could have ever asked for.

She drifted to sleep, smiling bright.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Have I dropped enough hints yet?
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	11. Fouquet Blocks The Way

Undyne rolled her shoulders, frowning deep.

She was walking again, more walking through a forest that hadn't changed before and wasn't changing anytime soon. Same forest she stared at for the Angel knew how many hours before. Everything was just feeling off to her.

Didn't sleep well, not with the kid resting on her chest. Didn't wake up right, without a ceiling or stars above her. Couldn't even say she was in a good mood right now, walking instead of running for the damn thief. Angel knew she deserved to be chased, not tailed. This was supposed to be an awesome chase, not one of those lame investigative stories.

At least now she understood how the humans could have so many different stories about themselves. They did whatever they wanted to make that story happen! Figures it was why they were sneaking in a forest instead of riding the blue-haired girl's dragon. That would have been badass.

"You alright, partner?" Derflinger spoke from Undyne's back, popping out of his sheath. "Can't tell if your scowlin' ta try and be scary or if your just tryin' ta show off some teeth." Undyne clicked her tongue at his words. Figures she was scowling. Couldn't help it, really.

"Just got a rough night's rest is all," the monster replied, rolling her shoulders for good measure. Her armor clanged with the motion, but not much more than that. It'd take something a hell of a lot of heavier hitting her armor to hurt it. "Doesn't help that we're still walkin' and are 'bout _this_ much closer to finding that thief!" Undyne didn't realize she turned her scowl into a frown until she raised her gauntleted hand to her good eyes, squeezing her digits together.

"Closer," the blue-haired girl spoke up from the cart. Had her eyes on her book though, least when Undyne looked at her. The monster didn't say anything though, waiting for the human to go on. But she didn't. Of course, she didn't.

"We're walkin' in a straight line without a freakin' clue for where this Fouquet human is. How do ya know if we're closer or not?" Undyne asked back. It said something about the humans when the kid wouldn't even look at her, keeping her nose in her books. Alphys need to look up from her machines when monsters were talking to her. "If you got an answer, I'll take it."

"Undyne raises a fine point," the pinkette spoke up. Undyne couldn't help but smirk. About time one of the human brats developed some common sense! Must have been when she fell asleep against her last night. Did knowledge work like that? Maybe, humans were weird enough. "We have yet to do as much as look for a marker in the road. How sure are we that we are traveling in the right direction?"

"Very confident, Ms. Vallière," the woman at the front of the cabin spoke up. She'd be nice, if she didn't act like a fleshy version of Nabstablook. At least he had jams to make up for the personality. "I have detected no other humans traversing this path, except for the soles of one heading in the same direction as us." Undyne had to shake her head a little at that.

"Wait, what?" She asked. She quickened her pace a bit, enough to put herself side-by-side with the front of the cart. Her armor got a bit loud, but nothing too bad. The green haired woman just gave her a glance. "What do ya mean your magic senses it? What's that supposed to even mean?"

"Perhaps you are not aware Undyne, but Ms. Longueville is a celebrated earth magic," the busty human spoke up. She should really cover those up. But right now, Undyne was looking back to look at the girl's eyes. She had a smirk that wasn't exactly contagious. "Her expertise allows her to find anyone on campus grounds, simply by using a bit of her magic to track changes in the earth. It's a marvelous ability that is recognized by the courts to be invaluable." Words were impressive enough, the girl didn't have to keep waving her hand as she spoke.

"Gotta say, that is pretty cool," Undyne admitted. It was enough to get the human to blink. Props. "But ya coulda mentioned that yesterday, ya know? Would have saved me a lot of breath." Undyne rolled her shoulders as she finished. Still stiff.

"I will… remember that," the green-haired woman spoke, before turning her eyes back to the road. Guess that conversation was over. That just left the sound of the wagon, the forest, and Undyne's armor clanking along the road.

She played with her gauntlet as she walked, flexing each of her digits to make sure the metal wasn't stiff or stuck. Nothing creaked or wined at her movements, as flexible as the first time she got them. Greaves were moving just fine, still loud enough to walk up Alphys from five floors down. Helm didn't exactly have to move, so no need to check that.

And they were still walking. Just walking, in the silence, that wasn't really silent. Just… boring. Just still going. More silence. More nothing. More waiting while moving. Was this even considered chasing? The anime must have lied to her if it was all like this. At least the shows made it exciting, or climatic! This was just… _boring_.

That meant she had to resort to the one thing that she loathed to do. The one thing that was supposed to be done only at the most desperate of times for the most desperate of reasons. This qualified.

Girl talk.

"Okay, before I go insane from boredom, can we talk about what we're gonna do when we catch up to this thief?" Undyne as she put the digits of her gauntlets to her good eye, rubbing it to keep it from falling shut. Lack of sleep and crippling boredom were her worst enemy right now. "I'll do the fighting, no sweat there, but what are the rest of you guys gonna do?"

No better topic for girls to talk about than this.

"I will secure a perimeter upon finding Fouquet," the Long Vile woman spoke up. Yeah, that was her name. "It will keep Fouquet from fleeing again if they attempt to do so." That got Undyne to grin.

"Okay! Yes! That! Do that!" She nodded her head and pointed at the human with the words. That was best idea she'd heard from the punk all day, and yesterday, and ever. "So Fouquet can't run, and they're not gonna be able to hide from me. What else?"

"Distraction," the blue haired chick spoke up. She still had her eyes on that book of hers. The Snowdin Librarian would be proud of her, that was for sure. "Create openings." Undyne kept her head moving.

"Alright, good, good," she spoke honestly. It was just average, but it was at least keeping her boredom at bay. Better than walking silently through the woods. That'd only be okay if they were 'chasing' a human thief. "What else we got?"

"I can help battle Fouquet!" the pinkette pretty much shouted. Undyne just blinked her good eye as she tilted her head. This was the same punk that almost got buried alive. Not exactly credible for a second go at the human. "I can! I am a noble no different than the rest of you."

"Oh, but you are quite different, little Zero," the red-headed human spoke up. With the way she was talkin', walkin', and just plain acting, Undyne was starting to seriously hate sharing the same hair color as the human. Hopefully that was all they had in common. The smirk wasn't helping at all. "Do remind me of the number of spells you have cast that have been conjured correctly? I believe the number is quite round and hollow." Yup, bad.

"I can cast spells Zerbst!" The pinkette shouted back. That was normal at least. Then she swung one of her dainty hands towards Undyne. Still normal, but bad. "You are looking at the product of one of my spells right there! Summoned forth through the familiar festival and carrying the memories of her kingdom." Undyne felt a frown slowly fall over her lips. Being the example in an argument felt like being the wheel on a cart. Everyone just rode you.

"And what marvelous examples you have displayed sense then," the busty girl spoke on. Was she a girl? Undyne was sure she was female, yeah, but girl? Kind of… curvy for that title. "I believe can count them on one hand. Oh, wait," the red-head stopped herself. She was blinking like she remembered something important. Was it important? "I don't believe I need any hands at all." Nope.

"Take that back you Germanian Cow!" The pinkette stood with her words. That could be kind of dangerous, standing in a moving vehicle. Was that a bad thing? Papyrus always did talk about doing that when he got to the surface. Then again, he also said he'd have hair, the bone head. "Take that back this instant!"

That was when the pinkette reached into her cloak and pulled out her stick. Oh, wait, that was a wand. Whatever, it was there now. That wasn't what got Undyne's attention though.

What got her attention was how fast the red-head and even blue chick got defensive. The busty one put up her hands with wide-eyes, the kinda thing you'd see from someone about to be attacked. The nerd was closing her book and grabbing her staff, the kinda thing a warrior did when they were getting threatened. The hell?

"Ms. Valliere," the human-tracking human spoke up. She was turned around from the wagon's front, one hand extended towards the pinkette. "Please lower your wand and calm down. Only petty words have been exchanged, no threats."

"Yes, yes, of course, simple banter," the red-head was talking up now, faster than before. She'd better not be some 'proud noble' or else it would seal the deal on how pathetic these humans were, at least for Undyne. Asgore would have the final word. "No need to get so defensive."

"Wait, wait, ya got my reflection clouded," Derflinger spoke up. Undyne felt him pop out of his sheath to do so. She didn't stop him… mainly cause she had no idea what he had just said. "If the young lady ain't able ta cast a spell, what's the harm in a wand bein' out?" Okay, that was a good point… if Undyne didn't already have an idea.

"I'll show you!" The pinkette shouted.

Undyne had just enough time to watch her turn around, whip her arm back, then fling it forward like she was chucking a spear.

"Fireball!"

A tree next to Undyne exploded.

"Gah!" She shouted as the charred bark slammed into her armor. Her arm went up a moment too late to keep a branch from smacking into her head. It broke on impact, but damn if it didn't hurt! She rolled her jaw, cracking it as if it had fallen out of place. Took her that long to realize that her hearing was ringing. Perfect.

She looked back up to see the cart had stopped. No surprise there. The horses were flipping out. Still no surprise. Undyne could only barely hear out the ear that was closer to the tree. But she'd seen enough of the old anime to know that those things going haywire was how humans got hurt. They were fragile like that.

"Hey! Calm down!" Undyne yelled as she walked closer to the horses. It was hard for herself to tell if she was yelling to get their attention, or to hear her own words. "I said stop squirming dammit!" Her gauntlet grabbed the reigns of the horses. That kept them still at least. Better than grabbing their necks.

Kept them still, at least in the sense of running off. They were still bucking in her grips like a spoiled brat. Geez, that made just about everyone and everything on this chase a brat! Didn't help that they were kicking at her armor like it was gonna make her let them go. They'd break their legs before the beasts got any luck with that. Oh, wait, that'd be bad.

"Seriously, quit it!" Undyne yelled again, putting her good eye right up to one of the horses. "Quite it or you're gonna be limpin' home!" Could horses do that? Probably. Sides, it was only a threat. It worked to.

The horses got meeker in her grips. They stopped kicking her at least and settled with just beating the dirt. That was good. They weren't a tenth as strong as she was, so it wasn't like they were gonna move the earth or anything. Sides, that meant she could let go of them.

It gave her just enough time hear Derflinger laughing over her back.

"Now _that_ was a show of force!" The magic sword started spouting. "Talk about givin' the evil eye ta someone. You're a regular pro at bartering, partner. Bet if we set up a shop, we'd be able to under _cut_ everyone else!" And he was so close to being pun free.

"Ms. Valliere!" Undyne looked up to see the secretary woman looking over the cart. Must have been screaming at the pinkette. Yeah, that. "That was an _inexcusable_ show of force! You very well could have harmed not only yourself, but everyone else present." Almost everyone. The tree hitting Undyne kinda stung, but that was about it.

"I-I… I apologize," the pinkette spoke up. Undyne felt her good eye rise at the voice. Was that the pinkette? She sounded meeker than Alphys in front of Asgore. Geez, it was even worse than when she was in front of the princess. "I'm… I take… I accept full responsibility for my actions."

"That you will," the human spoke up again before roughly turning around to face the horses. She had a pout that, Undyne could swear, was close to turning her face into a prune. That would've a show to watch. "Thank you for calming the mares, Sir Undyne," the woman spoke up again. And again, with that sir business. She was like one of three people and it was already annoying.

"Yeah, yeah, let's just get moving." Undyne spoke as she let go of the reigns. The horses didn't flip out, thankfully, as she got out of the way. "Sooner we find the thief the better." But this was a good distraction. Blowing up trees was always fun.

Blowing up anything was fun. Alphys made that a fact.

"Indeed," the woman spoke up again before giving a light whip of the reigns. The horses made their neighing sounds before they began to walk forward again. Of course, a walk, not even a trot. Not like they were in a hurry or anything! "I assume we are close, assuming of course that this has not alerted Fouquet to our position and prompted them to flee." Yeah, that'd be bad.

"And too bad we can't _run_ or anything." Undyne let the words lie. Not like the humans were gonna change their minds. They were stubborn like rock. But at least that stuff broke when she punched it hard enough, or bite it.

The cart began to move again, just like before… just like the same boring trip as before. Oh by the Angel, it was gonna be like this until they found Fouquet, wasn't it? Talk about better in fiction! Alphys was right all along! And she was gonna have to put up with this for even longer? If this was the cost for coming to the surface, then Undyne knew she didn't owe another cent extra.

Her good eye drifted back up the cart, seeing the three girls sitting there. The blue haired chick was reading her book, no surprise still. The red-head was staring at the pinkette, about just as surprising, but the pinkette herself was doing something else.

She was looking at Undyne, staring more like it. The kid looked like she was getting ready to jump out of the wagon just to get away from the rest of the brats by her. Kinda hard to blame her in that regard. No one wanted to be somewhere they made a mistake. Guess humans were the same way.

Too bad they were on a crash course for the thief, hopefully. Getting up and leaving was not something they were gonna do, especially not now. They were this far and she was gonna uproot the forest if they just decided to walk back to the school. The pinkette was just gonna have to tough it out. Actually… Undyne had a really bad idea.

Eh, only lived once. Bad ideas were the most fun anyway. Doubly so when it applied to kids.

"Hey, punk," Undyne spoke up, grinning at the pinkette. The girl blinked her wet eyes. Undyne slapped her pauldrons, stepping closer to the wagon as she did so. "Jump on."

"What?" The pinkette asked. Kay, that was kind of an expected question. The brat wasn't like the kids in Snowdin. She thought she was an adult and all that lame junk. Undyne was gonna must start fixing that in some way.

"Get on my back," Undyne started, the thumb of her gauntlet pointing over her shoulder. She held it there for a moment before pulling Derflinger out. He would've gotten in the way. "And enjoy the ride."

But the human just kept staring at her, her and the other brats in the cart. Even the green-haired woman at the cart front kept looking over her shoulder. Was it that weird to give kids piggy-backs here? Maybe that was why the humans were so messed up. They didn't know how to have fun!

"It's pretty comfy back there," Derflinger spoke up from Undyne's hand. "Great view, great company, and no energy required." He was lucky he was awesome, cause if he could walk, Undyne would have made him.

"O-Okay…" the pinkette responded, sounding about as confident as Alphys on an average day. Great.

Wait. Alphys… that gave Undyne another idea! She was a on a roll with them, so if the first was good, the second one had to be just as good!

"Great, then hold still," Undyne spoke up as she reached up towards the pinkette. The brat had enough time to widen her eyes before Undyne picked up by the scruff of her neck. Her must have still been ringing, because she couldn't hear a word of protest from the punk. Then, again maybe she liked it.

Holding her arm up high, Undyne dropped the pinkette on her back. Felt like dropping a dry blanket on her back. The punk weighted about as much and her hair certainly felt like a blanket, especially when it fell over Undyne's good eye and made vision impossible. She held back a growl.

"Whoa, ah!" The human spoke up from behind her, grabbing hold of parts of her armor, like she was trying to get a footing. Given the size difference and how much lighter the human was, it was kind of like climbing a mountain.

Undyne felt a bit of joy at that, being big and tough enough to resemble a mountain. Not quite to Asgore's level, sure, but every step on a journey mattered for the end.

The pinkette did eventually settle on Undyne's back, with her butt sitting on the collar of Undyne's black armor and legs hanging over her torso. She could feel the punk's hands leaning on the spikes of her pauldrons for support. Hair behind her back where it belonged, the pinkette wasn't even a distraction. Of course, that was as long as she didn't _pull_ on Undyne's hair.

"This is… odd…" The pinkette spoke softly. Sounded softly, but then again Undyne knew her ears needed a good cleaning after the exploding tree.

"Hey, I'm usually the one bein' carried around on someone's back," Derflinger spoke from Undyne's hand. She held the blade up as he spoke. It must've been hard talking if he was being swung back and forth.

Wasn't gonna let him go though, obviously. Just holding made Undyne felt like she was ready to take on _three_ of those giant dirt things.

"But hey, if ya wanna be the fair maiden bein' carried by the gallant knight, I'll switch places with ya." The hell was he talking about now? Undyne felt her head tilt and snarl grow as she stared down at the sword. Only got deeper when he started laughing. "Ha! That's quite a blush ya got goin' there! Glad ta know I'm the only one here made of metal." Skin and steel what now? Oh, wait, that was a pun or something, wasn't it? They were getting worse and worse.

"M-Mind your tongue!" The pinkette shouted from above Louise. Maybe it was the explosion from earlier, but it didn't seem as loud as Undyne expected, at least not given how loud the brat usually got. "I am… merely accepting Undyne's kind offer. And yes, it is… comfortable. And a bit warm." Comfortable she could buy, but warm? Undyne knew her metal was cold like Waterfall's rivers. Maybe the human was sick or something.

Oh, crap, did that means he could get sick, too? The human had better keep her hands honest if that was the case.

"Just be careful back there and it'll all be good," Undyne spoke tilting her head until it hit the girl's inner thigh. Yeah, it was soft, but it could do with some muscle. Went right from skin to bone. "Can't have ya weak and woozy when we reach Fouquet, right?"

The pinkette didn't say anything in response. Probably a good thing, at least Undyne was sure. Whenever that happened in the anime, it usually meant some character was either stunned silent or admitting they were wrong. Both were good enough for her right now. Sort of. Silence was boring, but at least she had something to focus on either than crippling boredom.

"So…" Derflinger spoke up, still hanging in Undyne' hand. "Ya got explosions for magic, huh?" Definitely a question for the pinkette. Undyne realized that it was only the second time she'd seen it. Sort of the second time she felt it. At least this time it wasn't the spell blowing up in her face.

"Hardly what you can call magic," the red-head spoke from the cart. Undyne didn't hide her scowl. Didn't bother to even try and suppress her groan. The chick was seriously starting to get on her nerves or something, Undyne knew it. She was like a peppier version of Sans! "Those are her failures to produce proper spells. If you need evidence, just think of what she attempted and what the results are. Whatever you wish to call the eruption of property, it is not a 'fireball'."

"Correct," the blue haired chick spoke up. Seriously, her too? Undyne was sure she was just supposed to be the silent neutral type. Turns how she did have a side. And of course it was a bad one!

"I'm willin' ta bet my hilt that something explodin' in front of me is gonna do a lot more damage than a few embers ever could," Derflinger spoke up again. Undyne lifted him up, putting him on eye level with her… sort of. Wherever that mouth piece of his was at least. It was close enough. "Seriously girly, explodin' spells are somethin' I haven't seen in a long while."

"Before? You've seen it before?" Well clearly that got a cord with the pinkette. Undyne could see the red and blue haired girls looking up at them with that. Of course, she saw them over the pinkette's thigh. Kinda cool to see that blue-haired chick do more than read! "There… have been nobles like me before?"

"Noble ain't the first word I think, if ya get my _point_." Undyne ignored that, as best she could. Her best was grit teeth and a seething groan. "Bein' noble makes ya sound stuffy, 'fraid really show your _metal_." If there was a point to this, Undyne had better hear it soon, or else Derf was goin' back in his holster and the brat would be carried bridal style. "But bein next ta them was a serious waker-upper."

"I… don't know what you mean," the pinkette responded. Honestly, Undyne didn't really either. If he wasn't talking in puns, Derf was kind of a mess, at least so far.

"Talk slower and use _no_ puns," Undyne clarified to the magic blade. "Seriously, any more of those and I'll start thinking the pinkette missed her mark with that spell." It did feel good to kick him that last time. Exploding him after a bad pun probably felt the same.

"Sorry, sorry, thinkin' while I was talkin', doesn't go well together. Kinda like attackin' while you're defending." Undyne nodded her head. That did sound kinda hard, useless too. Best defense was a good offense after all! "Just sayin' that I knew a guy a _long_ time ago that made stuff blow up a lot. Way I heard it, he became a pretty big deal, 'specially for being 'not-noble' or all that jazz."

"What was his name?" Undyne could feel the pinkette literally leaning over her head. Any further and she was gonna fall of. Her hair was already starting to feel like a curtain again.

"Pretty sure it was-"

"We are here."

Undyne twisted her head at the interruption, seeing the green-haired woman pull on the horses' reigns. They stopped in place, the cart just after it. Undyne followed suit. She felt her free hand flex and unflex. Only one reason they could stop in the middle of the day, and it had better be the one reason she was thinking of.

"Ms. Longueville?" The pinkette asked the woman's name. Said human didn't respond, instead just dismounting from the cart and carrying the reigns with her. The girls in the back were getting out as well, guess that was more good news!

"I can sense a stray trail heading into the woods from here. They must be fresh from the strength of response." Getting warmer! "I suspect Fouquet is hiding in the woods nearby. We should proceed on foot for now." Nearly there!

"Kay, pinky, free ride's over," Undyne spoke up as lifted her arms the same. She picked up the tenth-pint by her waist, putting her back on the ground. Air was only a bit lighter than she was. If she said anything in protest, Undyne missed it, but it probably had to do with Derflinger jamming into her side during the transition. She'd get over it.

Undyne was already walking closer to the green-haired woman before any of the brats could say another word to her. The secretary or whatever was tying the horses up, probably to keep them from running, not a bad idea. Undyne could see them getting nervous just by her walking over.

"Undyne," the human spoke first. "As you are clearly the strongest of us, I hope you are willing to lead the attack when we find Fouquet." Undyne wasn't sure she could grin any brighter! Was there even a reason to ask. "I… assume you are okay with this."

"Okay? I'm pumped!" Undyne let out, slamming her fist against the front of her chest plate. The horses jumped, the human too. Wimps. "Promise you'll make sure she ain't going anywhere and I'll give ya one caught thief in return."

"… I can promise you Fouquet will not escape again," the human spoke slowly. Probably making sure she could keep her promise. Well, if she thought about and she could, then all the better!

"What should we do?" The red-head asked. Least she was being full of herself, not that the hip-pushed-out look she had going would make you think that. At least the pinkette could dial down the self-righteousness! "Capable as we are, Fouquet is nigh-square class earth mage."

"Dangerous," the blue-haired agreed… maybe. Undyne couldn't be sure with a single word. "Caution?"

"You three will be tasked with finding the Staff of Destruction while Undyne attempts to defeat Fouquet." Undyne almost whirled at the human. Attempt? There would be no attempts, only results! "It will likely be in their possession, but if not, you must find and secure it. If we are possibly able to detain it before Fouquet has a chance to use it, then they have lost their advantage."

"Pretty sure I could take the human with or without some mega-staff or whatever," Undyne let out with a grin. She was sure of it, too. What could a bigger staff have on her even bigger muscles? She rolled her arm as she spoke. "Take a lot more than a pile of dirt or big stick ta knock me down."

"The Staff of Destruction is _not_ to be underestimated," the human spoke to Undyne, wagging a finger at the monster. A part of Undyne _wanted_ to bite it. It was wagging at her like a worm out of the ground. "As Osmond once described it, the staff alone was able to fell a horde of dragons and marauders with but a single command. In the hands of a capable noble with foul intentions, the four kingdoms could be at risk of war."

"Ms. Longueville is right, Undyne," the pinkette spoke up now. "The staff was kept guarded in the Academy's vaults specifically to have eyes on it at all times. It was forbidden for use because it was believed any kingdom with such power would disrupt the balance of powers."

"Very dangerous," the blue haired chick added on. Two words and two hands on her staff to boot!

Wow, talk about a pep talk! Maybe that meant the thief would actually fight this time!

"Just means I gotta try extra hard then," Undyne responded, cracking her neck for good measure. The human's' face was priceless. "Plus, I got my own magic weapon ta knock any staff outta the park, right Derf?" She held up the sword to demonstrate.

"Happy ta lend an extra hand, there's _swords_ way the thief is gonna beat us." Undyne felt her grin twist his words!

"Plus… if we can't cut the thief… then… Derf 'll talk 'em ta death!" The puns were pretty damn close to doing her in as it was!

"Quite…" the human spoke up. "Regardless, as long you are engaged and the students find the staff, we should have minimal issue. Be wary, be cautious, and be prepared." The human turned back towards the forest. "My magic shows the path is straight for sometime into the woods, indicating Fouquet had a specific direction they were heading in. Follow it straight, and you will likely find them."

"And this is where you scamper off to make a perimeter or whatever?" Undyne asked, putting her free hand to her hip. Letting it just hang was lame, and she had to be cool before a fight, otherwise it wouldn't be worth talking about later.

"Indeed. The sooner I begin, the greater the chance of keeping them contained. So with that, Undyne, students," the human spoke as she turned to face them again. "May the Founder protect you. Good luck."

With that, she started to walk off in some other direction of the forest, wand out and looking around. Undyne shrugged. She didn't understand human magic, but if the rest of them understood, then it was cool, sort of. Long as she kept the thief from running away again, then it was cool with Undyne!

"Kay, so," Undyne spoke up, looking over her shoulder at the punks. Given that they looked different colors of the rainbow and attitudes to match, they'd have been perfect for guard duty in Hotland somewhere. As it was now, they were gonna have to follow her orders. "Ready to go?"

"Absolutely," the pinkette spoke first, standing to attention a squaring her shoulders. It was enough to make Undyne grin. The punk did have discipline in her, at least beyond yelling. Perfect!

"I will follow your lead, Sir Undyne," the red-head spoke up with a low bow. Kay, kinda uppity for Undyne's taste, sort of villainous even, but it was there. Sort of.

"Same," the blue-haired chick spoke last. Her staff just kind of went up and down… that was it. This freaking… Nabstablook was a party animal next to this girl!

"Right, let's go then," Undyne spoke with a nod over her shoulder.

Then they were walking again, in the forest, with nothing to do. It was _almost_ boring. Almost being the operative word. Not quite there, but dangerously close. There was at least more going on than a cart spinning its wheels next to her.

It gave Undyne a chance to look at all the different trees in the forest, because there were a bunch more further in than she could have seen off the road before. Roots were popping out of the ground without being covered by snow, squirrels were running away and up trees as her armor clattered by, leaves fell from them, it was kind peaceful.

Yeah, her armor was too loud for it to be anything worth enjoying by sight alone, but it was still freaking awesome! Just one more reminder that this was what she was fighting for, a chance for the rest of the monsters to see this. As long as she got on the good sides of the princess, and therefore the queen, it would happen.

She just had to stay in control. In control, in power, and ready to show them the strength of monsters. That last one she could do no problem.

"Hey, partner," Derflinger spoke up. Undyne gave him her attention. "I think we're here." They were?

"Huh?" Undyne looked up. Oh, yeah, they were. "Oh, sweet!" At least it looked like it could be.

There was a cabin sort of like the houses in Snowdin, but with just wood logs for walls instead of planks. Looked sort of cool, in that rustic way Alphys sometimes talked about. Of course, she talked about it being horrifying without any electricity, but that was different.

Besides, what mattered was that out in the deep deep forest on the surface they had found a cabin along the straight line the human had told them to walk. Damn good chance the thief was in there.

"Okay, Fouquet's probably in there," Undyne spoke up, pointing her gauntlet at the building. "I'm goin' in first. The rest of you, stay back here till I say it's safe, got it?"

"Understood," the pinkette spoke up first. Undyne caught the human nodding at her, that same serious look on her face. Considering how up till now it was either glowering or pouting, it was suddenly unnerving. Better than crying though. Yeah, way better. The other girls just nod at her. Good thing nobody had an argument.

"Ready when you are, partner," Derflinger spoke up. Undyne grinned at the blade. It was gonna be one part weird, two parts awesome to fight with a magic talking sword!

"Let's go," Undyne spoke up.

She lifted her helm from under her arm as she spoke, putting it on her head as she entered the clearing to the woods. It felt tight around her, the same fixation that she got every time she put it on. Unspoken invincibility, that was what her armor was. Long as she was wearing this stuff, nothing short of Asgore's blows were gonna do much to her.

Her armor clanked with every step she took, marching towards the cabin with deadly intent. Maybe not too deadly, but deadly enough to make a thief want to run. Ready as Undyne was, they wouldn't get far if they tried. She kinda hoped they try. Undyne's gauntlet wrapped around the door handle, feeling the wood resist under her metal.

She tore the door of its hinges with one pull. Man, wood was weak.

"Heh, you don't lack in force, partner," Derflinger spoke up. She snorted in response.

Her boots clanked as she took a step into the cabin, feeling the wood crinkle a small amount under her weight. It was a really small cabin, like only one room. No second floor, no magic closets, not even a table or bed to hide under. The heck was this, abandoned? Actually… that made sense.

"Hey!" Undyne yelled as she looked out the cabin door, now a real open door. "Place is empty, so it's cool." They'd get that. At least the pinkette would.

The punks poked their heads out, one-by-one, sort of like the Snowdin rabbits after snow fell on their heads. They walked into the clearing, making it over to Undyne just as uneventfully as the walk here. Freaking perfect. Not even finding a mysterious cabin in the woods could be exciting.

"Oh, it is empty," the red-head spoke up. Master of the obvious, right here. "But how odd that it is so well-maintained. This level of craftsman ship must simply be cared for." What was she talking about? Was she seriously analyzing the place like it wasn't empty?

"Used, recently," the blue-haired chick seemed to agree. Her staff poked at the wood as she walked into the building. "Clean." Well… yeah, Undyne could give her that. There wasn't exactly a lot of dust in this place.

"Clean, empty, open, and yet barren," the pinkette starting talk now. If she was about to turn into the blue-haired chick with that kind of talking, Undyne was going to walk home! This was supposed to be an adventure, not a test in restraint! "Wait… this is probably a-"

**BOOM!**

Undyne felt the shake even through her armor. Too bad for the mini-punks, all sent to the cabin ground. Something big had obviously just appeared outside, and Undyne wasn't gonna wait for them to get back up! Her boots stomped through the cabin, crunching the wood as she exploded back outside.

She was greeted by the sight of the golem, not-a-monster, once more. And as a bonus, it looked even bigger!

"Aw yes!" Undyne shouted, pulling Derflinger out. **BANG!** And making sure she had a spear in her other hand. She'd make more soon, for sure. "Now this is what I've been waiting for!"

The giant pile of dirt groaned in response, maybe. Or it was just the sound it made as it reared back its hand. Thing was still large enough to cover the sun. It was perfect! …Except for the fact that it was probably going to crush the cabin with the kids inside. That wasn't good.

"Hey, you're fights with me, clumpy!" Undyne yelled as she reared back and threw her spear. **BANG BANG BANG BANG** and the four more she made appear with it. They all struck home on the beast, pushing back whatever it was intending to do. Wasn't beat yet though, definitely more of a challenge! "You punks stay inside! Find that Fouquet thief or whatever else!" They'd find something to do, long as they didn't get between her and her fight!

"Well I'm with ya partner!" Derflinger spoke from her hand. "We'll _pommel_ this thing back into the ground!" Undyne was too pumped to care about bad puns!

"Then let's go!" **BANG BANG BANG** Undyne slammed a spear into the ground as more popped overhead. With Derflinger in her hand, spear in the other, and her armor all around her, she knew she had this.

Her boots carried her forward, running at the giant not-monster. Even with her armor on, she reached it in no time at all. All that working out under the sun was already paying off. The creature moved just as her spears appeared, lifting its leg like it was gonna try and stomp her. Undyne could only grin at its stupidity. It was dumb as dirt!

She jumped left as the limb came slamming down. She could feel the shake even through her armor, but she could see the trees around the cabin shake even more. It was what happened when she slammed her fist on the table, watching the plates shake. Well, when she wasn't breaking it in half.

Too bad for it, Undyne was no spoon, she was a knife! She… had to get better at analogies.

"YEEAA!" Undyne yelled as she chucked her spear forward. **BANG BANG BANG** And several more to boot. They all slammed into the outstretched leg of the golem, tearing off the dirt and rock in the chunks, human-sized chunks! It was like she was easy mode against this thing!

It didn't pull its leg back at the blow, but dragged it instead. The thing was groaning again under the effort of the move, moving back to get away from her! Too bad she was a monster on a mission, and it was gonna take a lot more than-

"Undyne! I have the staff!"

The monster whipped her helm to see the pinkette running from the log house, holding an… actually pretty long container. Looked bigger when the squirt was holding it, especially over her head like some kind of trophy. But that was the same one the thief had taken from the tower yesterday! Where the hell was that in an empty cabin?

Didn't matter, they definitely had this! Undyne could only grin brightly beneath her helm. No way was the thief gonna run away again! Even if the human did, it was their loss, cause they got back the staff!

"Good job kid!" Undyne yelled to the pinkette, raising her hand into the air at the same time. "Now let me take care of the rest." Even with her helmet on, Undyne gave a grin that would have made Sans think twice. Oh yeah, this was gonna be fun.

She twisted around and threw her spear at the golem, letting them slam into the beast's center. She saw the dust blow off of the thing like throwing a rock into water. Only this was twice as cool, cause the rock monster wasn't gonna reform from that!

**_Bang Bang Bang Bang_ **

Definitely not gonna reform from the rest of her spear tearing into its other arm!

The useless limb was already falling to pieces, and it had only taken like half a dozen blows! Either Undyne was seriously feeling pumped up or the monster was even weaker than before… Nah, she just had Derf! She was on her game cause the magic sword was in her hand! And the sun was on her armor!

**BANG BANG BANG**

Half a dozen of her spears shot into existence through her magic, hovering above her with points aimed at the dirt golem, which wasn't a monster. Wasn't human either. It was just a mass of magic that was good for target practice. She was gonna turn the pile of dirt into-

"Partner, jump right!"

Undyne had just enough time to look down at Derflinger before doing as asked.

Not a moment later did a massive hand of dirt and rock slam into where she just was.

She pivoted in her greaves, staring through the glowing hole of her helm at the hand. Didn't take long for her to follow the mass of earth upwards, seeing it end up attached to a golem. Problem was… it wasn't the non-monster she was aiming at before.

"Are you kidding me?" Undyne asked, good eye staring at the pair of golems that now towered over her. Her and the trees of the forest. "There's two of them!?" She gripped her fists together, feeling her magic surge at her anger. What kind of fight was it when the enemy could just make more of themselves!?

Okay, given how she was already tearing apart the first golem so easily, it might be making it fair, but they couldn't attack when she was getting ready to. She at least let the beat make a move before she squashed it!

The least she could do was make more of her spears. **_Bang Bang Bang Bang_**. And then use them.

With a feral yell, Undyne threw her hand down, commanding the spears to pin-cushion the golem that had tried to get the upper hand on her. They slammed into the mass of dirt like her fists through rock, tearing the golem's arm apart. It was satisfying like nothing else to watch golem fail to pull its arm back, letting it fall to the forest floor. That just left two arms for two golems. Pretty soon it'd be two to none!

But the first golem wasn't just waiting around. Even as Undyne threw out her magic, it took the step or two necessary to catch up to Undyne, lifting its good leg up to stomp on her. The ground shook with its reaching steps. Undyne could hear the punks screaming from the cabin. But if it was gonna stomp on Undyne, that wasn't gonna work! That didn't work at the School and it wasn't gonna work now!

Undyne gave another cry as she pulled Derflinger back, swinging the badass magic sword over her head. She felt Derf tear into the dirt of the golem, ripping apart whatever the hell was holding the thing together. She gave it a push for good measure, like when she was lifting boulders in Waterfall. It worked, for the most part.

The golem withdrew its foot, taking a step back in what she was hoping was silent agony. Couldn't tell how well she was doing if the damn things couldn't even yell! She was the one making all the noise here. But she disarmed one golem and just about took apart the leg of the first, she was in a good spot to-

"Gotta block left!" Undyne followed Derf's advice, putting the sword up quick as the spears she threw.

Soon as she did, the second hand of the second golem slammed into her. It rattled her arm, shaking her around inside like the noodles in Alphys's ramen. It made Undyne's teeth grit, her eye narrow, and lungs heat with fury. Basically, it pissed her off.

It was hard to attack and defend at the same time! Fights were supposed to be one-on-one, or army-on-army. Where the hell was the honor or coolness of a two-on-one fight? It was just flat out annoying! She was either playing catch-up with one or tag with the other! It was seriously starting to piss Undyne off!

"One at a time punks!" Undyne shouted through the teeth of her helm. She tore Derflinger through the mound of dirt that was the arm that attacked her. It ripped through the stone and mud that made up the golem, letting the kickass magic sword pop out the other side. That wasn't enough for pissing her off!

Undyne kept her twist, stopping only when the back of her other hand contacted the shredded golem's pseudo-hand. It was made of mud and dirt. She was wearing kick-ass Alphys-smelted steel. And she was strong. The outcome was almost cool enough to let off some steam.

The blow demolished the golem's limb, plastering the dirt across the trees in the forest. It even made a noise boom to go with it, only a bit duller than her spears. Still, plenty strong enough to get the golem to back off. But if there was a pattern happening here-

"Jump!" Yup, course she did.

Undyne lifted off the ground, leaving indents in the dirt. Not a moment later where those filled by dirt, several hundred times over. Undyne landed on the pile of dirt, her armor turning whatever was stable in it to dust, kind of like the rest of whatever the not-monster was made from.

She turned with Derflinger, pointing him at the golem that had tried to attack her. It was the one missing one leg and lacking the other, so that meant she had just brought it down to one good limb, which was awesome. If nothing else, this was a fight she'd be able to talk to Asgore about later.

In fact, the golem's other arm was swinging at her, swinging down at her like Onion-san's limbs. Undyne jumped forward, way faster than any pile of falling dirt could be. If this scrap dirt was going to go this all out on here, the least she could do in return was rip apart its chest so that _it could never COME BACK!_ She could even see its legs… wait.

What… one golem without an arm, another with mangled legs and a bad arm, this one… This had just one bad arm… but the other golem with a bad arm was behind her.

"Three!?" Undyne yelled as she grabbed at the chunk of dirt that was holding the new golem up. It groaned as she began to lift the monolith of stone and mud above her. She might have felt a tooth crack she was gritting her teeth so hard. "You got three of these punks comin' at me at once! Fouquet you're a coward, thief, and _dead meat!_ " She was going to have to prove it now.

And she started that by lifting the golem above her head. Undyne shouted for good measure. Loudly.

**_YYEEEEEEEAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!_ **

The rock not-monster above her groaned with the efforts, kind of like her armor but with the actual chance of breaking. Undyne wasn't even feeling a sweat yet, just pure annoyance and rage. Together, pissed off.

And nothing in the Underground was more terrifying than a pissed off Undyne. Now she just had to show the punks that were watching why that was.

The dirt monster being lifted off the ground, every limb in the air, by a monster in black armor, definitely did the trick.

The mass of stone and dirt above her ground, either like a cry of pain or just moving parts. Didn't matter to Undyne, nothing much did when she was this angry. These monsters were attacking out of turn and they expected her to go easy on them!? They had a better chance of her wishing for the Underground!

Her greaves lifted and fell against the earth, pushing into the forest floor like the supports of a house. She could feel her boots digging holes by pressure alone, which was perfect. That meant she had support to do what she had to do next!

Undyne started to twist her body, spinning like she did when she tore off the golem's arm the first time. Except now she was carrying the entire four-story thing, like a boss! She could feel it falling under the force, unable to keep itself right. That was okay with her, cause she wasn't about to stop anytime soon!

** BOOM! **

Even when it slammed into the ground and shook the trees till their roots were popping out like daisies, she wasn't about to stop! She kept spinning, feeling her lips part under her helm until they were stuck in a mad grin. She was gonna turn this pile of dirt into a top!

She started to lean back the faster she spun, making sure she wasn't about to fall over with the thing in her arms. Only thing that was gonna come tumbling down today was someone's hopes and dreams, and it was in the form of some thief's cheap magic!

"Hyaa!" Undyne let out as she finally released the golem.

It flew like a meteor through the air.

** BOOOOOOM! **

It crashed with a resounding boom against the first golem she started to tear into. Her greave planted itself into the ground quickly enough for her to watch the damage unfold.

The best way she could describe it, and how Undyne would always remember it, was like watching two snowballs slam into each other in slow motion, tearing one another apart and letting debris fly in every direction of the forest. Expect the snowballs were big enough to bury two houses each and the debris flying off of them were fast and heavy enough to flatten the average monster.

Trees along the edges of the clearing got absolutely demolished by the effort, torn right at their trunks by the flying remains of the golems. Entire _chunks_ of the forest were basically shoved to the ground by the size of the boulders that came flying out of them, like ice hidden in snow.

It was a blast!

The dust and dirt settled like a new sledding hill in the clearing, leave Undyne with a cabin full of brats and one seriously messed up golem left.

"Kay, you!" Undyne yelled, pointing Derf at the not-monster. She could hear the blade chuckling. "I took out both of your friends like yesterday's trash. You still wanna go against me? Huh, punk?" That was good, she'd seen that line in a show that wasn't an anime, but still human. It was a line that worked on humans.

The golem didn't answer. It just stood there, with mangled limbs and no face to show what it was thinking. Could it think? Undyne wasn't even sure. If it could she knew it'd be wetting itself like morning dew… thank the Angel Sans wasn't here to think that. Cause he'd probably say it instead. Focus! She had a monologue!

"Cause I promise you, bad as both of the other guys got it, you're gonna be wishing it was as quick as-"

"Fireball!"

Undyne blinked beneath her helm. She didn't say that. In fact, she recognized the voice immediately. That was actually bad. Not really bad, but bad enough. She just had to keep going.

"… You're gonna be wishing it-"

"Fireball!"

"-Wishing it-"

"FIREBALL!"

"-it-"

" _FIREBALL_!"

A slow groan left her throat as Derflinger fell back to her side. Even the kickass magic sword was groaning in disappointment. But she had to stop. Undyne couldn't give a badass monologue with brats interrupting her, it defeated the whole purpose! She started to turn back towards the pinkette, ready to tell her to go back inside with the other half-pints.

"Pinky, get back inside before… fore…" Undyne's words trailed off as she looked at the pinkette. Thing was, there was nothing different about the pinkette. At that moment, Undyne give a shred of soul for the human.

All her good eye saw was the lance in human's hand.

The long, red, flower encrusted, triple-pointed, lance.

That… That wasn't a lance. That was a trident… that was no staff… that was Asgore's… Asgore!

"PUNK!" Undyne shouted. The pinkette jumped at her voice. Good! "WHERE DID YOU GET THAT!?" Undyne stomped towards the brat, arms swinging violently at her sides. The girl was pulling Asgore's lance closer to her. No! "I SAID WHERE DID YOU GET THAT BRAT?!"

Undyne lifted and tore her helmet from her face, letting her good eye glare down at the human.

"Does she recognize the Staff?"

"Odd?"

The two other brats were speaking from the cabin, but Undyne didn't give them the time of day. All she cared about was _Asgore's Lance_ in the pinkette's hands. And the closer she got, the clearer it was. The color was the right shade of red, the tips ended at the same point, the flower motifs were carved the same way, and it was just as long as she remembered it. It was Asgore's Lance!

"Uh, partner, we still got magic golem standin' behind us." Undyne ignored Derflinger. He wasn't a monster; he didn't get it. Instead, she reached down and grabbed the hilt of the lance from between the punk's hands.

Undyne ripped it right out of her grasp.

The girl yelped in surprise, yelling a bit as well. Didn't matter, not right now. Undyne's good eye was trailing over the lance. Holding in her hand, holding it in her left hand, holding at all… she could tell, she could _immediately_

This was Asgore's.

"One more time," Undyne seethed, eye trailing down the lance and ending at the girl. She took a step, which meant she _knew_ she was wrong. "Where did you get this?!" All the little punk did was shake!

"I… I…"

"Partner look out!"

Undyne swung Asgore's lance, screaming as she did so. It's three tips rammed into the swinging fist of the golem. She didn't flinch. She couldn't flinch. She was pissed off before, and that was when she threw one of the golems.

Now she was enraged.

"You," Undyne seethed, glaring up at the faceless body of the dirt creature. "Stay out of this!" Undyne moved to throw the creature, spinning her body with the three tips of Asgore's Lance still buried into the beast. That wasn't what happened. Instead, something told her to act differently.

She moved forward with her spin instead, twisting the spear around her gauntlet like she knew how to do. It was how she moved with her own spears, though much smaller and thinner. With a step forward, she drove the spear in deeper, like pushing sand with a broom. Didn't matter she heard rocks splitting with the force, definitely didn't matter that chunks of the thing were falling off.

All that mattered was that it was stopping her from finding out where the pinkette _had found Asgore's Lance!_

" _Go Away!_ " Undyne roared as she ripped the red lance right out of the golem's arm. It was like a knife through butter, heated by her knowledge that she was holding _Asgore's Lance_. It turned the mega clod of dirt into an above ground cavern, ripping the arm in two.

But then, as if it were following her command, it began to fall apart. Unceremoniously and without so much as a groan of warning.

In chunks to blocks the creature of dirt fell away, like letting a block of ice drop to the concrete. Nothing held it up, nothing pushed it over, the several stories tall pile of stone and mud just began to fall away. Large chunks rolled into the cabin, making the wood it was made out of cry in protest, but it didn't give. Undyne watched with her good eye, seething still.

"Well… that was impressive." Undyne whirled to see the red head standing in the door of the cabin, stepping out now that the golem was gone, probably. Why was she so comfortable though? Did she know how _Asgore's Lance_ go here? Was she a part of this? "It's almost as if you took away the very magic holding the golem up,"

"Magic annul," the blue-haired girl now. She had her eyes on the pile of dirt that used to be a golem, not the _lance that she probably helped to steal_. "Dangerous."

"Dangerous?" Undyne repeated, glaring down at the human. It only helped so little to see the girl blink up at her, mouth parting as if she knew what she did was wrong. Oh, she knew, she was just doing a damn good job of hiding it. "No, _I'm_ dangerous."

"S-Sir Undyne?" the red-head skipped. Good. Get started, start realizing how badly you screwed up! Undyne knew that the more scared a coward was, the faster they'd start talking. She'd _terrify_ these humans. "What's wrong? You won! You have defeated Fouquet's golems thrice over now!"

"I don't give a damn about that!" Undyne yelled, letting her boot fall as she twisted back toward the humans. They all shook, maybe from the impact she made, maybe from her voice, but they shook all the same. "I care about this!"

And she held up Asgore's Lance to them. Asgore's Lance, _his_ lance, not theirs and definitely no Staff of Destruction. It wasn't even made for humans at all! They had stolen it!

"The Staff of Destruction?" the pinkette spoke up again. Undyne could hear her take in a breath as her golden eye fell on her. "Th-that is what we came to recover. It belongs to the Acad-" Hell no!

"This belongs to my _King_!" Undyne yelled down at the human brat.

The punk jumped away, stopping when her back hit the frame of the door. The girls behind her curled their arms, like they were going to stop her from hitting them. When Undyne did that, she'd shatter every bone in their body, guarding or not.

"Students, Undyne, what's happened?" Undyne whipped her head towards the wood. Out came the only adult among a pile of brats. Green hair and probably a green soul. Green with greed, the thief! "Oh, you collected the Staff! Excellent work Sir Undyne, I-"

"It's not your damn staff!" Undyne yelled again, this time with a swing.

She stopped with the three points of _Asgore's Lance_ pointing at the human. She stopped dead in her tracks, holding up her hands with an agape jaw. She wasn't shaking, but the punk knew better that to make a wrong move.

"This is _my king's weapon_! He made it himself from the fires of his own magic! He keeps it closer and it _never_ leaves his side!" Undyne spouted every fact she knew about the weapon, seeing Asgore use it and hold it whenever they had meetings or even just tea! She remembered him pulling it out and putting it down when he went to brew the stuff! "So why do you human _thieves have it_!"

"Undyne," the green-haired human spoke up, arms like she was waiting to be killed. "I do not know how your king's weapon came to the Academy. I know even less of how it was misnamed as the Staff of Destruction. I only know that the Headmaster was the one who came across the tool, describing in depth its power and need to be kept from any one kingdom."

Undyne wasn't buying it.

"LIAR!" Undyne yelled, swinging the spear back around. It sliced into the wall of the cabin, sticking through one of the logs of the cabin.

The cabin gave a groan before the ceiling started to fall in.

"Wha!"

"Get out! Get out!"

"…!"

All three girls gave cries of fright as they ran from the cabin, past Undyne and the dirt hill remains of the golems. The ceiling fell not a moment later, taking with it the empty building. The wall fell apart as if they were ice in summer, without an explosion or show of force. It was almost as if the wood itself had lost the will the fight nature. In no time at all, the cabin in the clearing was scrap wood and dust. Bits of wood clinked against Undyne's armor, but it didn't so much as make her flinch.

Undyne kept her eyes on the green-haired woman all the while, even as she stared openly at the remains of the home, arms up to guard herself.

"You stole this from Asgore." Undyne watched the human's eyes switch back to her in a moment, wide with fright. She knew she was a thief and she couldn't hide it anymore. "There's nowhere else you coulda gotten this from. You stole this and you thought I was gonna give it _back to you!_ "

"Stop!" Undyne whipped her head back to where the punks were now. The pinkette was jogging back, eyes focused on her, wet with guilt no doubt.

She took deep breath as she stared up at the monster, the monster the human had tried to take advantage of again. Humans had done it in the war, and now they were doing it again.

"Undyne, please," the pinkette was basically crying as she looked up at her. Even had her hands folded together when she spoke. The Angel was for the monsters, not thieving humans. "Let Headmaster Osmond explain, let the princess explain, b-but please hear them out. We wouldn't… _I_ wouldn't steal from you, ever. You… You have given too much for me to even harbor the thought."

"Yet here I am holding proof!" Undyne shouted down at the human. She held up Asgore's lance, high above her head. "All you got are words and I'm holdin' pretty convincing evidence that you're lying through your flat teeth!" Her lips snarled till she felt gums dry. If she could, she would have breathed fired on the brats.

"Hey Hey, partner, maybe we should calm down a second," Derflinger spoke up from Undyne's opposite hand. She glared at the sword, gripping the hilt until her gauntlets groaned. The sword didn't make a sound. "I'm findin' it pretty hard to imagine them askin' you to help bring back something that belonged to yer people, while knowing it. Seems like a pretty fast way ta ruin a friendship, if ya asked me."

He… He had a point. No way the humans, stupid as they were, were stupid enough to bring her along. Cause… if they knew the lance belonged to Asgore, they wouldn't have asked her to come. Knowing them so far, they would have given some bull excuse for keeping her away.

Maybe he was right, maybe… But maybe not. Because Undyne was holding _Asgore's Lance_! It was his, she knew it was his! It was just as long, red, and filled with strength as she remembered it! No way it belonged to anyone else. The humans were just watching her, all ready to jump her probably. They stole this from Asgore, so they'd still it from her if they had the chance.

"Then I need a reason." Undyne seethed through her razor teeth. She twisted and slammed the butt of Asgore's spear into the ground. The triple-pronged tip rose above her head. "I need all of you ta give me a reason not to take this and go find the rest of the monsters myself. Cause if your kind is happy 'nough to steal from one another, how do I know you aren't hiding other stuff that belongs to monsters? How do I know you're not gonna try and take this back?"

Their silence was their answer. All of them, staring at her with grit teeth and shaking eyes. They were afraid, like the cowardly humans they were. No determination, no confidence, nothing but greedy palms and sick minds. The pinkette was getting ready to cry, the green-haired human was crouching like she was going to run, the blue-haired chick was gripping her staff and hiding her eyes, and the red-head just looked like she was ready to beg.

"Maybe ya should ask the big guys about that," Derflinger spoke again. Undyne twisted her good eye to the blade. "Pretty sure that if any human's gonna be hidin' something this big, it's gonna be the ones up in their high tower, right? Sides, if what all of them were saying before was true, that staff was behind some big brass door long 'fore any of the gals here got to the Academy."

"Correct," the blue-haired chick spoke up. Undyne shifted her gaze to the her, hard. The brat didn't flinch, but she wasn't moving to attack either. Undyne had no such promises. "Unaware of shape. Power. All unknown."

"Tabitha is speaking the truth, Sir Undyne," the red-head now. She had to be extra careful. "All I knew of the staff before now was its importance to balance and age. No one here, certainly not us students, were aware of the depth of its history. Surely you must have artifacts or events such as that in your own history, correct?" What was she talking about? Making some excuse for thievery?! Undyne felt herself take in a breath of air through grit teeth.

"Th-The war!" the pinkette almost yelled.

Undyne whipped her head back down, fast enough for her hair to become a dangerous tip.

"You spoke of the war before, but you were not a part of it. You were aware of it, told of it, b-but you never actually saw anything of it. Is this not the same? The war to you is as the sta-Lance to us. We knew only tales of it." That… was actually a good point.

Maybe these brats didn't know. They were just brats. Wouldn't make sense for the rabbits in Snowdin to get how the Core worked. This was probably the same thing. It made sense… but holding Asgore's Lance just made it _impossible_ to think. Wait… this was his spear, no doubt, so then…

"Fine," Undyne relented, teeth grit and eye narrowed till it was slit like a human's heart. "We'll go back, but _I'm_ carrying Asgore's Lance and _you_ are gonna keep pace with me. I want answers, and I'm not gonna wait for them, got it?" There was more though. "In fact, I got another question your gonna have ta answer for me."

"Completely understood, Sir Undyne," the green-haired woman responded. "We will make haste back to the academy. If we share the stallions, and you run, we may be able to make it back before day's end." Oh, they'd make it back. No way was Undyne gonna do anything else but plan her attack as soon as she got back! "But what is the other question you have for us?"

Leaning over the woman, lips snarled and eye gleaming, Undyne asked the most important question of her life to the pathetic human.

"Where is Asgore?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

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	12. He's Tending The Flowers

"Where is Osmond?"

Louise whispered the words as she gripped Madam Longueville's back. The secretary was whipping the reins of the horse, begging the creature to quicken its pace. It was hardly a mystery why. Louise simply kept her face hidden from harm between the woman's cloak and hair.

"Likely, in his office, though also possibly seeing to repairing the damage of the tower." The latter made more sense to Louise. Little faith was had in the buildings of nobles that could not stand. "I suspect the princess will be with him as well." That made the already chasm of a pit that was Louise's stomach deepen. She feared she would sink into the earth did it become any deeper.

"We have to hurry," she whispered the words more for herself. "We cannot let Undyne act without thought. She… there is a reason for this mistake, and we must correct it!"

"I have no arguments, Ms. Valliere," the woman spoke again. She had yet to turn, keeping her eyes solely on the path ahead. "I only pray we have the speed and strength to prevent your familiar from doing such." It was a very real fear to have.

Undyne had battled three of Fouquet's golems, golems to a thief they had not even caught. Alone and without so much as a breath of a spell to aid her, the monster had lifted and tossed two of the golems, using the powerful Staff of Destruction to lay waste to the third. It was a sight to behold, watching her familiar battle.

But it was a nightmare without end to hear her screams with a scowl deep. Teeth sharp enough to replace the blade she held, skin thick enough to make the armor she wore more like clothing, and an eye golden and deep enough to be mistaken for death's own gaze.

Her head twisted, seeing the other stallion running beside them. Tabitha was leading the horse, Zerbst gripping the shorter girl as well. It was a full gallop they were in, running at whatever speed the horses could possibly hope to meet.

And it was all to catch up with the monster that ran ahead of them.

Louise could hear, even over the tearing wind, the sound of Undyne's armor smashing and tearing up the road, beating the earth furiously to quick her pace. She made no jest that she that she was going to return hastily to Tristian Academy. Louise had merely underestimated the speed.

"We're close," Ms. Longueville spoke. It was likely a shout, but it sounded mute against the wind. Louise did dare to peak about the woman's back.

Sure enough, the high toward of Tristian Academy began to crawl into view, a pace much faster than Louise was ever used to witnessing. They would be there in little time now. It gave her no comfort.

Not when she could see the mass of darkness that was Undyne up ahead.

Her armor seemed like a forgotten piece of the night, charging towards the academy with a purpose that bore no good omen. There was nothing Louise could do to rationalize that she was merely overthinking it. Rules of Steel or no, she knew Undyne had all but kind intentions when she returned. It was why they could not afford to be more than a few paces behind.

"The gate is still shut," Louise noted, knowing the fact just as the large wooden gate of the Academy came into view. The possibility of it being unlocked following Fouquet's theft was impossibly low. "That should give us time to reach Undyne." Again, she spoke more for herself.

For any normal warrior, it might be true. Even nobles with vast amount of power would need a moment to cast a spell to turn the door to ash or the wall to rubble. That was if they were normal and not from the realm of the Underground, let alone Undyne who was fueled by a rage Louise could not fathom.

When the dark mark that was Undyne was close enough to the doors, her boot kicked them down.

They blew off their hinges and into directions beyond the stone walls Louise couldn't see. She was more fearful than surprised. At this rate, Undyne would doubtlessly reach the headmaster and the princess first. No scenario turned out well in the young noble's mind.

Ms. Longueville whipped the reigns of the stallion again, earning a sound of discomfort but also a boost of speed. Small, but anything was superior than being too late. Louise felt her muscles flex as they raced passed the entrance, entering the courtyard of the Academy. The stallion came to an abrupt halt; one that Louise quickly took advantage of.

She twisted, releasing Ms. Longueville, before jumping to the ground. She ignored Tabitha and Zerbst as they did the same, she ignored Guiche who was staring aghast from the ground, and she ignored the maid, who had hands covering her lips.

Louise was focused solely on Undyne, standing in the courtyard with the Staff of Destruction in hand, with Headmaster Osmond and Princess Henrietta standing before her.

It didn't matter that there were dozens of guards and musketeers surrounding the two. It didn't matter that Agnes, the Captain of them, had her musket already drawn. It certainly didn't matter that the students were readying their wands as well.

Undyne was a monster that lifted golems and brushed away magic. This was already a bad situation.

"U-Undyne," Louise heard as she ran quickly over to the group. She could hear Ms. Longueville and the others approaching. "You have… recovered the staff. Excellent work, b-"

" _SHUT UP!"_

Louise froze at the voice. If not for its volume, then for the way it appeared to summon muskets and swords from the many soldiers guarding the princess. Princess Henrietta was pushed back into the crowd, eyes solely on Undyne. Louise could only look at her for a moment before looking back to Undyne herself.

The monster wasn't attacking, which was very good. Knowing the spontaneity of the scaled monster, there was little that could be done if she did indeed strike. But when Undyne began to speak gain, Louise listen.

"The whole way back, I was thinking… about _how_ I could possibly be wrong." Louise could see the monster had her teeth grit to the degree of grinding. "The whole time I ran back, Derf kept tellin' me to calm down and give ya a chance to explain yourself. He wouldn't stop begging me ta give ya a chance. Problem is, I don't think ya deserve it!"

Louise felt her skin chill at the words. She could hear the 'clinking' of hammers being drawn, of the rage in Undyne's voice. It would just take one bad move to set this off, like flame set too close to gunpowder. No rule Louise knew, recent or new, could even whisper of what to do.

" _This_ ," Undyne started again, holding out the Staff of Destruction. It was hard for Louise to justify what was more dangerous. The Staff itself or the monster holding it. "This is not some magic tool you humans made. This was a _lance_ made by _my KING!_ So, right now, tell me _why_ it was locked away in your damn _vault_!"

Undyne slammed the spear, end first, into the ground. It was likely the training and diligence of the guards that kept them from firing at the sound. Even in the face of fear, they did not strike without command. But… Undyne's king wasn't here, and she wouldn't listen to anyone else…. Louise felt her fists ball at her uselessness in all.

"Please explain this all ta my partner," the magic sword spoke from Undyne's hand. "I really don't wanna be used by 'nother outlaw knight. I'm sure there's a good reason for all of this, but I've gotta admit that there's nothin' comin to me that's obvious."

Outlaw knight? Was that blade used by another disgraced champion? It hadn't occurred to Louise, but it explained a great deal, all the way down to its presence in a simple smithing shack.

"So, really, can one of ya cool this all down by just explainin' where the damn lance came from?" Louise was begging someone to answer the sword's plea, for it matched her silent own.

She had heard many tales from her mother and father of poor negotiations leading to bloody battles. This had begun as a travesty and showed no signs of improving. Undyne was strong beyond most belief Louise had, but against the Headmaster and professors of Tristian… it was an impossible battle.

But any battle would be poor. There would not be a fight with a beneficial outcome. There needed to be diplomacy, peace, _something_.

"I can explain everything to you, Sir Undyne," Headmaster Osmond began.

Louise whipped her head to the Headmaster, as she was sure Undyne and the others did. He put both hands on his staff, staring up at the monster as he spoke.

"I can answer nearly all questions you may have, but so little of what I say you will believe." Louise didn't know if the sound Undyne made was a snort or bark. But she did continue to speak.

"I was freakin' teleported _out of_ the Underground, passed a magic barrier, put in charge of guarding some half-pint from _other_ humans, stopped another human thief, only to find that they had stolen _my king's lance!_ " Undyne summarized her history quickly. Louise felt nothing as she spoke, nothing new at least. "So try me."

"Please, follow me instead," the Headmaster spoke as he turned slightly, arm extending towards the fallen tower. "For everything I say, I can offer proof of my words."

The students and professors parted by the direction of his hand. Agnes gently moved the princess, standing between her and Undyne. Princess Henrietta, however, appeared only shocked, not scared. Louise wished she felt the same. But she sat on the opposite end of said measuring scale.

"You better," Undyne spoke. Louise jumped as the butt of the Staff once more slammed into the ground, shaking the earth beneath it. It truly was a terrifying tool, enduring Undyne's strength. Possibly amplifying it… "But you better be aware that I'm only given ya a chance because the big guy would. I found out you did anythin' to him, and there won't be an Underground deep enough to hide from me in."

' _Don't threaten the Headmaster!_ ' is what Louise wished to yell, but she knew said cries would fall on deaf ears, only heat an already molten situation. Now was the time for patience, only patience. She could only watch and pray to the Founder as whatever unfolded came to be.

"Very well," the Headmaster spoke. He turned, slowly, from Undyne, keeping eyes on her the entire way. He began to walk towards the main spire of the Academy, the same tower that once housed the Staff of Destruction.

Undyne fell in step behind him, Staff in hand and the magic sword still drawn. Either were dangerous tools. Undyne was a dangerous monster. Together, there was no chance any human, noble or not, would survive so close if she struck out. Enraged as she was, it was volatile in the purest of definitions.

Louise wasted no time in running up next to the monster, stopping only when she was in step with her.

"Louise!" She heard the Princess breathlessly whisper her name, but Louise returned with only a glance and bow of her head. The Princess would understand, hopefully. She was wise enough to know what she was doing.

"What are ya doin' punk?" Undyne snarled down at her, even as they marched behind the Headmaster. It was a voice so far away from the motivated tone the monster had given her the night before. But it was still Undyne, and she was still Louise Valliere.

"I am… accompanying my fellow ambassador," Louise managed to speak, fishing quickly for the correct words. The Rules... some rules told her what they were. "It will take more than a simple misunderstanding for me to break that bond with you. If, and only if, there truly is deceit involved in this… then I will side with you in what comes next."

She could see Tabitha and Zerbst from the students now, both watching with more knowledge than the average member of the crowd. If the Founder willed it, perhaps they and Ms. Longueville would explain to the curious others what was happening. It would be best if the nobles acted as they all loved to brag.

"Tch," is all the response Undyne gives. But she doesn't scold her, push her, and demand she leaves. She isn't her elder sister; she isn't her mother. But inaction was an action, Louise knew. So, she did not move away or lose step next to the monster.

"Princess, you can't!" Until the worried words of Agnes met her ear.

She turned in time to see Princess Henrietta walking behind them, free of her guards. She looked, displeased. It was the closest Louise had ever seen her majesty to outright anger.

"I will not feign ignorance in matters at hand, Agnes," the princess responded. "If Sir Undyne was wronged by our kingdom in times past, I will be present to correct it." She spoke the words not just to Agnes, but to the musketeers, guards, and students that flanked them on either side. Every face had a new expression of worry or uncertainty. "I only pray to the Founder that there is truly nothing to make right." Those final words were so quiet; Louise was sure she heard them by accident.

Her eyes flashed from Princess Henrietta to Undyne, back and forth. One was swept up in anger, latching to a conclusion Louise was confident would be resolved quickly. Princess Henrietta was already working to mediate a situation that was poor to the touch. She was sworn to the Kingdom, but she swore the same duty to Undyne.

What… Who did she walk with?

"I will be fine, Louise," the princess spoke up, earning Louise's immediate return of attention. "Perform the duties of your cabinet, as I will as well." And her smile was there. It wasn't until now Louise realized how fragile it looked. That was likely only because every part of this situation tittered on the edge of a blade. Everything was like glass right now.

"Cabinet's not gonna be there if I found out I'm bein' lied to," Undyne growled out again. Louise would have sworn steam emerged from the monster's snarling lips. "Cause I can't think of a reason to let a bunch of king stealing humans run around like they own the surface." Perhaps glass had more strength than the foundation of the situation. Sand may be a better material to compare, loose and unable to be built upon.

"I cannot promise that you will be satisfied," the Headmaster spoke from ahead of them. He was just entering the tower. Those were not the words. Louise wished to hear. Doubtlessly neither were they Undyne's. "But I can assure that it will prove we stole nothing from you nor your king. All else that comes, I can only promise my support."

The pit in Louise's center had not subsided. Headmaster Osmond's words only made them deeper.

* * *

The void in Undyne's gut felt deeper and deeper the more the humans talked. The old one's speech was just making it worse.

Didn't matter that a bunch of the humans were pointing a bunch of sticks at her, in a disparity of sizes. Didn't matter that they all had what she could probably call the next level of the typical human expression. Open mouth, wide eyes, but now with shaking limbs. Next they're hair would fall out.

Even if it did, she wouldn't care. Not yet, at least not now. No way did any of that matter right now.

All that really mattered was that this old goat of a human was supposed to show her proof that they didn't steal Asgore's Lance from him. It would have to be a hell of a lot of proof, but something told her the human knew that. That didn't help the feeling she had, even as she marched into the tower and let her boots fall on the stone floor.

The sound of her armor rattling echoed through the halls as she stomped behind the older man. The bricks beneath her cracked with here and there with her steps, but that was par for the course. Still didn't matter. Only thing that mattered was the lance in her hand. That, and nothing else. Sides, if the humans really did steal from Asgore, tearing down the rest of the damn place would be fair play.

"So… where we off to?" Derflinger spoke in the silence. Undyne gave him a glance before looking forward again. She couldn't trust these humans. She had to stay focused. "I get that whatever yer gonna show ain't exactly a public thing, but any chance ya can tell us where it's at?"

"We will be heading towards the remains of the vault," the old human spoke. The beating of his staff against the stone was impossible to hear next to Undyne's armor. It meant she could take one good hit, maybe two, if the humans tried to jump her. She was ready. "While the… Lance of your king was one important item, it was not the sole item within."

"There are a great many of magical items belonging to several prominent noble families stored within the vault." Undyne gave a glance at the princess. Still following, that human warrior behind her. They didn't matter right now, probably wouldn't again. "What else would exist in the vault to be of importance to Sir Undyne, Headmaster Osmond?"

"I cannot say until you see it," the human spoke again. Undyne wasn't sure if there was a trap less obvious than that. She didn't give them the chance to steal the lance back on her run here, no way was she gonna open herself up now. If they attacked, they'll be dead. "For the claims that will be made, proof must be presented."

Undyne felt her snarl grow at the words, the scowl pulling at her scales. The pit in her gut was getting deeper and deeper, and she didn't like it. Nope, just about the worst thing she's ever felt. Her grip on Asgore's Lance tightened, feeling the metal hold against her as well as it did when she dueled against it.

It was _Asgore's_ Lance. No way it wasn't. But why was it here? Why here? What was going on?

The echoing of Undyne's armor began to fade as they approached the open section of the tower, in front of where Undyne had her battle against the human thief before. She recognized it at least, given that the golem had a massive dirt arm in the building. It was high up though, just like she knew it was. Didn't matter now though.

It was kind of a cool thing to see though. The super-giant metal doors caved in. A part of Undyne told her that it probably would have taken at least to blows to break the metal that hard. But a hundred other parts of her told her it didn't matter. All that mattered was Asgore. Him and the rest of the monsters.

"In here. Please mind your step," the old man spoke as he ventured into the hall. Undyne saw a mouse jump off his shoulder, skittering up the metal after it did. She pushed back the urge to throw a spear at it. They'd attack first, they'd have to. Otherwise Asgore wouldn't believe her. "There are many powerful relics scattered about the floor, too dangerous to simply… walk around with."

The gray human gave Undyne a look. Or, more like giving Asgore's Lance a look. Oh yeah, like that was gonna make her hand it right over. Stupid human. She growled at him for good measure, ignoring the way the pinkette gasped. She'd get over it, if she wasn't already a part of this.

"…At the back of the vault is what we are looking for." The human walked past the twisted metal as he spoke. Undyne followed, noticing just how thick the doors to the 'vault' were. Alphys's lab had thicker walls. The square-bot could punch through this. "Undyne, I can say with unfortunate certainty that it will show you nothing was stolen from you or your king."

"You're doin' a pretty horrible job at keepin' me level right now," Undyne growled back. Her boot lifted and fell on some book. It turned to scrap paper when she lifted it back up. Didn't matter what kinds of looks the pinkette, princess, or even warrior was giving her. "And I'm findin' fewer and fewer reasons ta trust you." She just needed one more to set her off, just one.

"Then let me clarify first that I see you as the noble guard you claim to be," the human started. Compliments got him nowhere, not while Undyne was holding Asgore's Lance. That was all that mattered. "I had suspicions when you first arrived, for and against you. I can say now with certainty that all has fallen into place in my mind. Your honor, your magic, and your history."

That pit felt like the void under Waterfall now. The hell was the old human talking about?

"Hey, buddy, you seem like yer tryin' ta beat around one hell of a bush," Derf spoke up again. Undyne didn't look at him, mostly because he was right on. "I get buildin' up for one hell of a show, but at some point, were gonna start guessin', and that's not gonna end well no matter what the reveal."

The human didn't respond, even as he moved over a fallen cabinet full of whatever. Probably books, if the lot strewn about meant anything. Didn't matter. Hell, even the massive amount of Gold worth Temmie Village didn't mean a damn thing. Only Asgore mattered, only him and why ever the hell she had his lance in her hand _right now_.

"Sir Osmond," the princess spoke up. Undyne was pretty sure it was her at least. "The blade raises a fair point. Please speak of this proof and why we must be in the vault to see it." Huh. At least the princess was still _acting_ like she was on her side. Couldn't be sure though. She was also sure Asgore was in the Elf lands or wherever that was.

"You must wait no longer, your highness," the old human spoke, stopping as he did so. Well that was good, at least it meant he wasn't running. But Undyne wasn't letting her guard down, not while a bunch of thieving humans were around her. "Everything I need to prove innocence is here."

The gray human put his hand on some metal cabinet. It was pretty damn clear to Undyne it hadn't been touched in a long while, considering that it looked dustier than the lies the humans were throwing at her. Not even mentioning the lock that was put around the two handles. But it did look like it was made carefully. Undyne got an eye for that kind of stuff after watching Alphys make a million and one inventions. But this was different. It didn't have detail or cool colors or even an awesome shape. It was just a big metal box that looked really damn important. Undyne almost growled as the pit in her gut got larger somehow.

"Sir, what is that?" the pinkette asked. She didn't know? That or she was still lying. No, the kid had put too much out on the line. She was still a horrible human, but she wasn't trying to lie at least. That fell on the princess and the old man in front of her.

"It is a chamber that I made with magic," the human spoke again. He was facing them now, and Undyne could tell he wasn't happy. He could join the club, but anger trumped sorrow and she was mad enough to tear down a building. "I asked colleagues of mine now gone to the Founder to help its construction. The strength of the void would be needed to open this. That, or the only key we made for it."

The human was smart to not waste time with asking where it was. He pulled out the key from his beard. Better have been on a necklace or something, cause if it was just sitting in his beard, that would have dumb, stupid, and just lame. But then, none of that mattered. Only how the damn box related to _Asgore_. Undyne almost felt a tooth crack.

The same old human that had stolen from _Asgore_ put the key to the only lock on the damn box. She could tell the smaller humans behind her were stiffening up, like they were getting ready to strike. So, the signal for them was in the box? Or just opening it? They were gonna attack, but Undyne was ready for them!

_Hisssss…._

The box literally hissed as it opened. It was enough to get Undyne to lift a brow. What was it, a freezer? Sure didn't have the energy to be one. Undyne knew that considering how many times Alphys would go off on how much power fridges or freezers took, even warm fridges.

Undyne's grip tightened on _Asgore's Lance_ , ready to swing it or Derf the moment one of the human's attacked. Her armor gave a small squeak of protest, but she muted it out with a growl of her own.

"I came across the Lance you hold in what feels like a lifetime ago," the old human kept talking, back to Undyne. "I was traveling on the border of the Germanian Kingdom with scholars that are now gone from this world. We were hoping to glance upon the Fey Lands said to be seen from the borders of the kingdom." That elf place? Fine, whatever, what did it have to do with _Asgore's Lance_?

"But whilst we were there, we were attacked." Was that the sign? Undyne stiffened, glancing at the pinkette, princess, and blonde human. None of them moved. They were all staring forward still. Okay… that wasn't it. "Overwhelmed in fact by a pair of elves we had not even the foresight to consider contact with." You went to some mystical lands and didn't think you'd see something strange? This was a made-up story, Undyne could tell.

"The elves used magic beyond anything we had heard or studied before," the human kept rattling off the fantasy. He must have been stalling, Undyne realized. It wouldn't work, not on her. "The air felt like water, the earth turned to mud, trees came to life, everything that was said to be impossible even by the pentagon strength magic was being used with effortless ease." He was rattling.

"You're rattling now," Undyne growled out. If he was gonna attack, he'd better get on it. Least the human could do was not bore her to death. Then again, it was probably his only chance. "What the hell does this have to do with _Asgore?_ How's the big guy relate to your story in anyway?"

The human turned away from the box, old eyes looking at her good golden one. Even with a long gray beard in the way, Undyne could tell he was frowning.

"Because your king is the one who saved us."

Undyne felt the pit, void, or whatever else was in her gut take over. She was starting to feel hollow, from her gut to her legs. Didn't feel good, felt awful. Mostly because what the human said was _entirely possible_ for Asgore. He'd stop any fight he saw.

"I thought him a monster of the Fey Lands, a creature under the domain of the elves," the gray guy was speaking still. "Taller than you, Sir Undyne, by arm's reach, dressed in a cloak of purple, gowned in armor of gold, given a mane to match, fur white as winter's first snowfall, and horned like the fiercest of dragons. And all the while, holding the staff you now hold."

Undyne gave her good eye a glance at _Asgore's_ Lance, just a glance. She knew it was his, knew it was still there. The human described Asgore to a tee. She told him about it though… but not the cape, not his armor. No way he could have just guessed that. So then…

"So he saved you and then ya stole his Lance from him?!" Undyne felt her voice go from a growl to a roar. Magic sparked deep within her soul, ready to skewer the human who dared to treat _Asgore_ like that. Who'd steal from a guy who just tried to help them!

"No!" The human yelled back. He had guts, but Undyne had magic, strength, and a hell of a lot of anger. He didn't even make her flinch. "He saved my life. He saved it… and I have always thought of it…" The old human's eyes fell away at that.

The hell was he talking about? Better not be what Undyne was thinking of. That wouldn't do. That'd be way worse than lame. It'd be… she didn't have a word for it. Alphys would, hell _Asgore_ would. She'd have to ask him when she saw him.

"Your king used the lance you now hold to battle elves," he pointed towards _Asgore's Lance_ with his own staff. "If the magic the elves used was impossible, then the acts your king did with that lance were mythical. It was as if he commanded the very souls of those who fought, turning the magic they used to nothing, forbidding them from attacking. All the while doing what I believed to foolish at the time, but I have come to realize was braver than any act I've seen before." If it was Asgore…

"He wasn't fighting back," Undyne let slip the words. It was exactly how Asgore fought… by not fighting. The big guy wouldn't attack you willingly, even if you were trying to impale him. History taught her that. Unfortunately, really unfortunately, the human nodded.

"Correct," he spoke. Undyne could _feel_ the punks behind her take in breaths of hair. The hell were they worried about, that they'd lose their chance to ambush her? They never had it and they'd never get it. "Not once did he launch spell or blow against the elves. Not once did he do anything but defend us from the magic of elves."

Undyne listened to every word. This was about Asgore, his Lance, _everything_. She wouldn't miss it, because it'd end with either the human attacking her or finally explaining how he stole _Asgore's Lance_.

"For what felt like millennia, we watched him endure every blow, but return none in-kind," the old man spoke on. He was leaning on his staff now. Was he getting tired from talking? Tough! Undyne needed to hear the end of this, or else it was the human that was gonna end! "We could not speak at the time, and even now I wonder was he monster or king."

" _Both_." Undyne growled out. "You ain't got that into your skull yet, then we got more issues between us then just your thievery." He couldn't forget that! If this whole story was just one long ploy to get the other humans ready for her attack, then it'd be a lot of work for nothing!

"Both indeed," the human agreed. Good, better than arguing over _facts_. "For only someone as grand as that could have not only survived the attack of the elves, but also rid them of their desire to fight." That was something Asgore would do. Big guy hated to fight anyone, even during a duel.

"My word, he managed that?" The princess sounded pretty breathless. What, was getting a couple of blowhards to stop attacking a king really that hard? It was like a Tuesday for Asgore. Why were they focused on that and not that _Asgore wasn't here_? "To make the elves turn back from violence… I never imagined it."

"Neither had I before I saw it," the old human kept talking. "But through both words and inaction, he bared the force of their magic, turned their odds against them, and what little magic he could not stand… his Lance you hold turned to nothing."

Undyne gripped _Asgore's Lance_ as the human spoke. She growled when his staff motioned towards it. She wouldn't ignore it though. This was about Asgore, and she was gonna find out why this lowly human would steal from the big guy, after he saved them!

"It truly is a Staff of Destruction, able to turn all forms of magic to nothing. Be it the earth made to golems or the very wind itself. None of it could endure the staff or the king who wielded it." The old human was rambling. Undyne knew he was. Maybe he was waiting for the other humans to get into place behind all those piles of gold and books. She was ready for them though. They wouldn't get the drop on her.

"It did turn Fouquet's golem into nothing," the pinkette spoke up. Big deal, Undyne didn't give a damn about some clod of dirt. She cared about _Asgore_ and why his _Lance_ was still in her hand! "That power could ruin a kingdom."

"If only anyone else but a monster could hold it," the old human spoke again. He was staring at her, at Undyne. She glared her good eye at his. Was he trying to be intimidating or something? "I did not think you one of his people till you described him before. But your ability to use the Staff… Lance is proof of your heritage under him."

"Your talkin' a lot about how great and awesome Asgore is," Undyne seethed. She wanted to scream, _oh_ she wanted to scream. But the humans had to attack first. So, when Asgore asked why she _slaughtered an entire academy_ , she could say they started it. "But where, in the name of the Angel, _is ASGORE!?_ "

She lifted and slammed the butt of _Asgore's Lance_ into the ground.

The whole chamber shook, the piles of gold falling around like something had been dropped on them. One of the humans let out a cry of fright, didn't match which one. All that mattered was the damn old human in front of her was just watching her. He was stalling.

"I apologize, Sir Undyne," the old human spoke. "I am… diverting your attention." He admitted it! Undyne grabbed _Asgore's Lance_ again, ready to strike. "Because I fear what I show next will forever you, just as it has me."

The hell did that mean?

He didn't answer. Instead, he turned away from her, letting go of his staff. He let it fall to the floor as he put both hands to the metal box. He must have been doing some magic, because even though it was unlocked, it started to glow, or at least lift. The top of it at least.

Slowly, like the old human was trying to torture her, which was very likely, the top flipped up, landing between the wall and the box itself. The human stood over it for a second before giving a mega-sigh. Undyne was ready to rip the air out of him the next sudden move he made.

"Asgore… your king," the human spoke on.

Undyne took a step forward, ready for the counter attack.

"Gave everything to make sure we were safe."

Undyne stopped.

"What?"

It was the only word she could mention. It was the only word that made sense to ask. No way was this human being serious right now. Just what did he… what was the gray guy trying to prove?

Undyne stepped forward, gauntlet gripping and pushing the bearded human out of the way. He didn't resist. Undyne didn't give a damn that she heard him hit some random pile of gold, definitely didn't care that the pinkette was screaming, and she didn't give an ounce of attention to the princess next to her. All she cared about was what the damn human was hiding in the metal box.

Her good eye settled on a golden set of armor. A golden crown. A purple cape. They were all… _Dusty._

Undyne couldn't breathe. She couldn't speak. She couldn't hear. She couldn't do anything.

"When the elves had departed and the battle was done, he simply fell down." The human was talking. Undyne wasn't listening. _Asgore's Cape, Asgore's Crown, Asgore's Armor._ "Before our eyes he began to fade, like an illusion we had all shared."

That's what this was, an illusion. It was fake, all of it. No way the big guy was dead. It was impossible. He lived for thousands of years! He… he wouldn't just up an die because of a few worthless lying betraying humans! It was impossible!

Undyne reached into the box, not realizing her hand was shaking until she flexed it. The dark tips of her gauntlet scratched over _Asgore's Armor_. She lifted it back to her good eye, staring at it unblinkingly.

 _Dust_ was on the tips of her claws.

"His words were mumbled on the ground, even as we turned him and attempted all manner of aid to him." This wasn't happening. Undyne _knew_ this wasn't happening. "I could hear him speak that there was too much death. Too much death for him to ever strike again. Every word he spoke is burned into my soul."

Undyne wasn't listening because this wasn't happening. That wasn't _Asgore's Cape_ , that wasn't _Asgore's Crown_ , and that definitely wasn't _Asgore's Armor_. It couldn't be any of those things. No way, it was impossible.

"But I will never forget his pleas for forgiveness," the human continued. Undyne wasn't listening. Her eye was only on the _dusty_ armor. "Asking whomever he was speaking to, to forgive him for abandoning his people."

Undyne heard that!

" _NO WAY!_ " She yelled as she spun on the human. He didn't react. The others did, the princess and her guard jumping back. The pinkette didn't. Whatever. "No way did he do that! Asgore would never abandon his people! He wouldn't abandon us! I know he wouldn't! He couldn't!" That was a cold hard fact! Asgore would have rather died than… died…

Undyne swallowed on something in her throat, some big hollow ball that was keeping her from screaming. Her good eye was getting misty, and she couldn't help but think it was from the _dust_.

"And I believe you, Sir Undyne," the human spoke again. "For I cannot see a monster or man as noble as he saving strangers yet leaving family." Yeah, _yeah!_ So this was all just a lie, just some fever dream from wearing her armor for too long. That was definitely it! "And I have thought of dozens of reasons for his words. But no matter the excuse my mind conjures, it does not change that your king, King Asgore of the Monsters, appeared from nowhere and saved my life."

This wasn't happening. This _wasn't_ happening.

No, no, no, no, no.

"No, wait- _How the hell was Asgore back there then_?!" Undyne yelled out her question, lips snarled and ready to swing the _Asgore's Lance_ at the human again. "I'm here right now, and I'm _damn_ sure I just saw Asgore last week, 'fore all this started happening!" That proved the guy was lying!

Asgore wasn't dead!

There was no way any of that happened! Because she was here now and she sure as hell wasn't imagining seeing Asgore brew her some tea before she went out on guard duty or how the big guy gave her a hug despite wearing her armor or how he put her hair up into a ponytail before she put on her armor! He did all of that! She remembered him doing it!

Asgore wasn't dead!

"… Summoning Ritual…" the pinkette whispered next to her. Undyne whipped towards the punk. The kid jumped, sure, but her eyes remained on her. "It-you-you were brought here by the summoning ritual."

"Yeah, yeah, that's right," Undyne latched onto Louise's words. The girl was onto something. "You brought me out here, go me away from the rest of the monsters! I-I forgive ya for that, all of it, just s'long as ya show me where Asgore is." Her eye swept from the pinkette to the bearded human. Only the former would look at her.

"Partner…" Derflinger spoke. Undyne ignored him. Unless he had something to say about Asgore, it didn't matter.

"The Spring Time Summoning Ritual uses old magic," the princess began. Undyne looked at her. She'd want to save the big guy. Heck, she was all for it! Probably the biggest supporter! "It… students used the Fire, Water, Earth, Air, and… Void." Void, void, what was that? Whatever the hell brought her here? What'd have to do with Asgore.

And why wasn't the princess looking at her? No wait, even better, why was the blond guard looking so sad. That was the only human so far who had any determination! Now was the time to show it! Asgore was probably in trouble!

"The Void is a magical power that… works beyond time or space," the bearded human was speaking again. "It can bring forth familiars from either a few scant meters away… or from centuries into the past."

No, no, no, no, no, no, no. That wasn't what happened. Undyne shook her head until her hair was whipping.

"You're lying," she spoke the honest truth. It _had_ to be the truth. "There's no way Asgore is dead! None! You're… you're just lyin' to get me to give you back his _Lance_!" She snarled at the words, gripping _Asgore's Lance_ tightly with the words.

She glared at the old human, the pinkette, the princess, her guard… why the hell did they all look like that!? Where was the typical human expression!? The slack jaws, the wide eyes… why the hell did they all look so damn sad!

"Partner." Undyne didn't need any pity! She was just surrounded by a bunch of liars that wouldn't tell her the truth!

Where was _Asgore!?_ Why was his stuff here!? _Why were they all just watching her?!_

"U-Undyne," the pinkette spoke up. Said monster flared her nostrils at the human. She'd better start talking. She'd better start talking and _stop looking like she was about to cry_! "I am… deeply sorry for-" _NO_!

"You don't get to be sorry!" Undyne shouted at the brat! She swung her free hand at the punk. It was a far cry from an actual strike, missing by miles, but the clumsy pinkette still tumbled back and onto her butt. The guard grabbed her blade, the princess freaked, but they were no closer to telling her where _Asgore was!_

Undyne stared back into the metal box. His _cape, armor, CROWN,_ they were all there. They were all his and covered in _dust!_

"T-Tell me how the Dust got there!" Undyne demanded from the bearded human. She pointed _Asgore's Lance_ at him. They were afraid of his stuff, they knew how strong the big guy was. If he couldn't answer it right, then she knew he was lying! "Where'd the dust come from!"

"… Soon after His Highness Asgore faded away, dust fell in his place." No, no way he could have guessed that. "My colleagues and I… gathered every piece we could find from the singed forest floor." Singed… he even knew about Asgore's fire magic… no, no way!

_It was a lie. It was all a lie._

"No! You're hiding from me still!" Undyne roared at the human. It was a trap, it had to be! She could still hear the humans running outside! They were late for their trap but they were still coming for it! "Y-You're just trying ta trick me! Asgore can't be dead! He's not _dead!_ "

Undyne was panting. Her good eye ran from the humans, to the chest, to the princess, to the gold, to anywhere in the room. If they were lying like this, maybe Asgore was nearby! Maybe… Maybe…

"You _don't_ tell me where Asgore is _right now_ , I'll… I'LL PULL THIS WHOLE DAMN _TOWER DOWN_!" Undyne swung _Asgore's Lance_ at the wall as she did so.

Now the humans reacted.

The blonde warrior pulled out her sword, stepping in front of the princess with it aimed at Undyne. The pinkette raised her hand like she was trying to catch something. Even the princess looked at her with wide eyes. That meant she'd caught them! She just proved they were trying to get at her! Why else would they act like that! She shifted her gaze the old human, watching him most of all.

He just stared at her, like he felt sorry for her. She didn't need sympathy! She needed _Asgore_. These humans were just keeping her from him!

But the rest of the humans were just running through the metal doors now. And Undyne was right! She knew she was when she saw them all holding spears and swords and those twigs they called wands! They were trying to ambush her, and all of her screaming must have tipped them off that their plan was ruined.

"Undyne," the pinkette spoke up. She was stepping closer to her. Undyne growled in response. The chances of the kid being behind this were pretty low, but that didn't mean she was in the clear! "I-I'm so sorry, I… I don't… I can't imagine how painful this." Nothing was painful!

_Asgore wasn't dead._

"Only thing painful right now is you lyin' 'bout where Asgore is!" Undyne yelled back. She flinched. The humans flinched. But they didn't attack. They knew Undyne would wreck them in any fight! "So one of you, any of you, tell me _where he is_!"

She gripped _Asgore's Lance_ tighter, ready to stab the wall with it. If it tore down the whole tower, good! It'd keep the humans from lying to her any more.

But they were all just standing there doing nothing. What were they waiting for? They should be running to get Asgore if anything!

"Sir Undyne," the princess started to speak. "I cannot speak to the horror you may be feeling. I cannot attempt to justify what has occurred. But please know, please understand. We are…" Her words were falling apart. She _was_ stalling!

"Quit stalling!" Undyne shouted back. She let go of _Asgore's Lance_ to swing her hand at the princess. She took a step back, or forced back by the blonde human. Whatever, didn't matter. "Y-You're hiding him! And I'm not going _anywhere_ until you tell me where he-"

" _He's gone_ Undyne!"

The monster glared at Louise.

The girl was standing at her, fists balled and eyes narrowed. She was half way up to Undyne's torso way over her head with anger. Undyne felt her lips snarl till her gums were dry.

"Your king is gone!" She yelled again, this time her hand swinging at the metal box with _Asgore's Things_. "I-I don't know what happened. I don't know how this _could_ have happened, but _it did_!" The little punk!

"Louise!"

"You don't know that! You're lying!" Undyne shouted back. She took a step towards the brat, ready to throttle the human. "You're just sayin' whatever they want you to!" She swung _Asgore's Lance_ towards the human. They could swing those swords and muskets at her, it didn't matter, not less they told her where _Asgore_ was.

"I swore I would never lie to you!" The punk just didn't know what was too far! "A-And… you told me that my time would come soon! You kept telling me to be honest, that we'd rescue your kind together!"

"Then tell me where _Asgore is!"_ Undyne shouted back. She was standing over the pinkette now, snarling at the scowl the human had on her. Undyne's was bigger. "Cause right now you're just defending humans who stole from him!"

"Partner, c'mon!"

"You know we didn't!" She shouted back. She got to the balls of her toes just to stand closer to Undyne. The monster took a step back, unamused. "Else we… the Headmaster would not have entombed him! He would not still mourn for _your king!_ " Her hand swung at the metal case, the block that had _Asgore's Belongings and DUST!_

NO! That wasn't his dust!

Undyne screamed as she swung her hand.

**_BANGBANGBANGBANGBANGBANGBANGBANG_ **

Someone shouted, a human Undyne wasn't looking at. Didn't matter, she didn't care. She just stared at the girl that was surrounded by her spears, at least a dozen of them all digging into the stone around the girl. She'd… she'd just make the human tell her! That would work… that… she'd tell then!

"Undyne," the human kept talking, like she wasn't surrounded by magic she couldn't even understand. "I am so sorry for your king. But we… all… _I_ am not your enemy. But _I am sorry_." Why… why the hell was the punk crying? She didn't have to cry! She wasn't the one who lost… no, she stole it! She...

Undyne's vision blurred. She squinted and shook her head. She sucked in a breath of air. Wasn't enough. She sucked in another. Too much. She shakily exhaled it. All the while, she stared down at the pink haired brat that kept saying _Asgore was dead!_

… no.

"…dead."

Then Undyne felt like nothing.

She didn't remember her knees slamming the brick floor. She didn't remember letting Asgore's Lance fall in front of her. She didn't remember letting her spears dissipate. She didn't' remember much.

But she knew when the punk wrapped her hands around her head, holding her close to her stomach. The other humans were still talking. Undyne was barely listening, if that at all.

"Stand down, now!"

"Your highness, now is the perfect time to detain the monster for-"

"You will take no such act Agnes! You and the others stand down this instant!"

"You all as well."

"But sir she-"

"Is mourning. You will do nothing to make the pain any greater."

Mourning… because Asgore _fell down_.

"I'm sorry, Undyne," the pinkette spoke. Her voice rumbled through her chest, Undyne's webbed ear pressed against it. "I am sorry from the depths of my soul."

She may feel sorry, but Undyne felt like nothing. She felt what she was. She was nothing, because that was what a failure was.

She had failed _Asgore_.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well… let's get that hate mail up and ready. I got my metal armor on. Wait, this is tin foil.
> 
> If you are enjoying this story, and I want to see where it goes or ask me questions, try and jump on my Discord to talk with everyone else. You won't be alone, I promise.
> 
> discord.gg/fgeV4ra
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> https://www.patreon.com/WizardofWords


	13. There's A Lesson Hidden Here

Louise had failed Undyne.

Perhaps the Princess and Headmaster thought differently, but she could not. She could think of no other word but failure as she stared at the broken mess of a monster. Broken was the word coined by her mother, when referring to battle-shocked soldiers. It fit the warrior too well here.

Her armor was shed in the vault, too heavy and immobile to possibly be moved by anyone else. Her king's lance was returned to the coffin from which it came, next to the remains he left behind.

Aside from the damage of the assault, little was out of place in the vault now. A talented Earth Mage would likely be able to right any construction difficulties now. It would take the Headmaster and a hand full of other square-class mages to redo the protective incantations, but that could wait for now.

That left Undyne, only Undyne.

Undyne, the monster that had appeared from nowhere and showed a strength near mythical. The Captain of the Royal Guard to a far-off kingdom of monsters. The overly brash but obviously loyal soldier that spoke honestly more often that nobles themselves.

The same monster curled up on Louise's bed, motionless.

Louise could only stare at her from the opposite side of the room, the monster's back facing her. She had given up attempting to talk hours ago, just before the sun set. In the current moment, only the small crackles of the burning candles kept silence from ruling the room.

She bunched the fabric of her skirt, flexing and unflexing her fingers. Her teeth played with her lips, gnawing on the thin skin. Her mother would have scolded her with words and magic, but Louise was unimpressed by any ideas her mind could conjure. She was too preoccupied with the revelations she had been dealt.

The King of Monsters was dead.

Between Undyne and now the Headmaster, he sounded like a terrifyingly strong noble. Able to best Undyne in a duel without fail, to repel Elves without the need to counter, and turn the magic of others into nothing, as if returned to some mythical void. But then he sounded like a king, acting with as much love as he did strength.

Only by the words of others did Louise wish to meet the monster, the Great Ageless King that had helped turn Undyne into an unmatched warrior and saved the life of the Headmaster. But now she couldn't, and never would.

Louise took in a slow breath, chest shaking as she did so. She did not know him. She had never met him. Even now she had only seen him through the… detailed descriptions of Undyne and Headmaster Osmond. A gentle giant. A strong king. A powerful mage. An honest noble. He sounded and appeared to be all those things. And Louise would now never chance a meeting with him.

And Undyne would never see him again.

But for all the horror she felt herself suffocated by, Louise knew Undyne was fathoms deeper than her.

The king she had pledged loyalty to was gone. The monster that had taught her combat had been killed. It was the absolute worst thing Louise could imagine any story or journey ended with. The loss of a leader, the end of a kingdom… the very thought of losing the princess in such a way made her legs weak to stand on.

And yet Undyne had been told the deed was done decades ago. Not even time to console with others. Simply told she was too late, even before she had arrived, even before she knew what to do. Louise bit her lip, sucking in a breath of air.

"I am sorry, Undyne. So sorry this happened, at all."

Louise spoke the phrase for the umpteenth time. It received just as much a response from the monster as the previous attempts. The monster continued to lay on her side, hardly moving aside from the breaths she took.

Louise turned to the stone wall of her room, seeing the rusty blade lying up against it. It hadn't said a word since they had arrived, hardly a squeak even with its rusted form. For something that continued to call Undyne its partner, it was oddly silent in the given moment.

Maybe it didn't have any words to say, and so kept itself silent as a blade was meant to be. Louise, herself, didn't have the luxury of remaining silent, especially now of all times.

"It's… I can hardly imagine what it must feel like." Pain, denial, regret, _anger_. "There has to be… something I can do. Even if it isn't much at all, just enough to…" To what? Louise didn't have an idea where she was going with the statement.

What did she hope to accomplish? Make the monster laugh at the death of her king? Shrug her shoulders at the idea of his demise? Forget him? Louise shook her head at every question. Undyne was too proud and too strong to even consider such deplorable ideas.

"Perhaps you… would like to do something… for him," Louise bit her tongue as her sentence spun and fumbled out. She could not even mention her king's name without her throat clenching. She hissed in a breath of air. "However, I don't know what monsters would do to honor your… fallen."

_Flinch_

Louise felt herself shirk a little as Undyne moved. The covers of her bed were the only thing that made a noise, but the fish monster had undoubtedly curled in on herself, more so than she already did. It was not the reaction Louise wanted to receive, nor the one she believed Undyne deserved. In conclusion, she was going down the wrong path of thought.

"O-Or perhaps you would prefer to, um… ah…" she raised a hand to her forehead, pushing against her skin and the pink locks that fell over it. She had no idea where to go. It was a battle not even the now questionable Rules of Steel could offer her guidance for.

"Maybe a… run?"

She lifted her hand only to slap it against her forehead. A slow breath left her chest, the only sound in the room again. She was going nowhere with this, and Undyne wasn't improving at all. Louise stood from her chair, walking about her bed until she reached her dresser.

Perhaps something her mother or sisters had given her could help. Though, even for the strength she knew her family possessed, Louise doubted readily they would be able to bring Undyne back from this brink.

She sifted through the trinkets and odd gems that had been given to her. Things that had monetary worth, but only minimal emotional value. Valuable, but not invaluable. They were no cape or armor…

Louise rested her head on the cabinet. She stared at the wood with wide eyes, as if begging the rickety material to bless her with an answer. Where was the Founder's wisdom when it was needed most? Where was anything or anyone who had a clue on what to do?

When Undyne needed her most, Louise was still _useless!_

She ground her teeth together at the idea, at the thought.

She wasn't useless, not anymore! Maybe she couldn't do much now, but she could one day. And that day could be today! Undyne was mourning the loss of her liege and king, of the one that had given her everything, like Princess Henrietta to Louise herself!

Louise just had to think, to imagine a way to help Undyne now. If she could, it would be something that she could do and no else. It would be the _first_ thing she could do that others would depend on her for. It was what she had to do. And she could do it. She just had to find something, _anything_ that could help Undyne!

"Hey, pinky," Louise heard the rusted sword speak. She stopped digging through her drawers, turning to look at the blade. Why was it talking to her? Undyne was the one who needed it. "I think you're pushin' this too far too quick. Ya gotta let somethin' cool after ya hammer it, and I'm bettin' a chip off my blade Undyne's feelin' pretty knocked out."

Louise could only let her jaw gape as she stared at the blade. Was it proposing she simply leave Undyne be? To do nothing while she mourned? How could such a suggestion be filled with any reason? Those were words of cowardice!

"Hey, chill it with those eyes," the blade appeared to relent, squeaking with rust. "Yer missin' me and hitten' the anvil. Ya think I want ta leave Undyne like this?" It must have been a rhetorical question. "She's my partner, and I ain't 'bout to start lookin' for a new one." Louise only continued to stare at the blade.

Her eyes shifted to the monster on her bed, still as when she had last seen her only second ago. She wasn't moving now, the flinch from before no more. Even on the other side of the mattress, however, Louise could not make out the features of Undyne's face. Her red hair, falling over her, hid everything.

"I'm just sayin' that houndin' her right now ain't gonna help anyone. She's gonna need a friend, but I'm willin ta bet my sheath she's gonna need somethin' else right now." Louise felt her brow fall at the words. "Why'd ya think I'm keepin' quiet durin' all of this?" There was a sense to that, small as it was.

The talkative sword didn't seem to mind speaking up when it was least appropriate, but even it had a mind to not talk now. But… that could have just been its cowardice! Louise was not about to bow to a blade that had more rust than a worn nail. She was a noble who relent to no one! Least of all suggestions in matters that concerned her friend.

Yes, Undyne. Her familiar. Her fellow ambassador. Her friend. Louise was not going to simply leave Undyne. Not without a superb reason.

_Knock. Knock._

Her head spun and eyes stared at the door to her room. Knocking was far from odd. The timing, however, was stranger than anything else she could currently imagine. There was no one on the Academy ground who was unaware to what was happening.

"Hello?... Ms. Valliere?" Louise heard the muffled voice speak through the door. She recognized it in the time she heard it.

The maid that Undyne had saved, the commoner who gave the monster adoration.

"I apologize for the late hour, but… I wish to see Undyne." Hardly a surprise. "I've heard only rumors and whispers from the professors and students. I am not being told what has happened more than her liege has… um, been s-s-slain…" Louise gripped her fist at the word.

At least the commoner sounded pained to say the word. A far cry from what the Princess's Head Musketeer sounded like. Any honor she believed that Plebian had was gone to the Void.

"I beg you entry. If you allow it… please allow me to enter."

Louise didn't answer, not immediately. Instead, she turned head to look towards the monster.

Louise didn't see Undyne react at all to the maid's words. She could hear though, of that Louise had little doubt. She was awake enough to breath and react to words. If she didn't react… Louise had no reason to keep the commoner out.

After all, low in standing as she was, she was still an ally to Undyne. And her mother had taught her to never scorn any ally in dark times.

This certainly qualified as such.

But it was unlikely to do much at all, and the thought of parading Undyne like a wounded dog to those who visited her made bile rise in Louise's gut. She would no more wish for professors to call out her failures in class than to speak of Undyne's pain to others. It was not something a noble did, spread rumors with lies.

But the maid was different. She was more than another commoner to Undyne.

She was a friend.

"Hold a moment," Louise spoke, perhaps more for herself. She was already moving for the door, hand raised to grab the latch. Perhaps it was her time to help Undyne in her hour of need, but selfishly thinking it was her own duty to do so would lead to ruin. It was a Rule of Steel… Undyne's Steel.

The monster would never turn away a friend. That was undeniable to all who met her.

Louise opened the door to see the maid standing forward, arms raised to her chest and concern written over her features. She was concealed by the night's shade, but the worry was evident even in the darkness.

"Enter." Louise moved aside for her.

"Y-Yes your grace," the maid hastily spoke, entering wile grasping the hem of her dress. "Thank you for allowing me entry a-and… a-" her words stumbled and ended without a breath of air. Louise was hardly surprised by the action.

She did much the same when Undyne collapsed against her. Seeing the immeasurably strong monster fallen on the bed was no easier to witness. Let alone for the first time. A half day of the sight and Louise as no more used to it than she would be a dagger's sting.

"She hasn't moved," Louise spoke to the still gapping commoner. At least she had covered her mouth with the palms of her hands. "She responds to nothing."

"Nothing?" The maid repeated. She did not even glance towards Louise. No fault was given. Undyne was captivating for all the most heinous of reasons. As many reasons that were necessary for Louise to snarl at nothing.

"Nothing," she answered in turn. She didn't move from where she stood. Her voice was already a low whisper, though still far above the tiny breaths the commoner spoke on. "And I don't want to do anything that could make it worse." It was a thought that hadn't left her since she was stripped of her armor in the Vault.

Louise hated where they were, with what they were doing. But she'd rather stay right where she was than risk Undyne falling any further. Her king was gone, a wound that needed something grand to heal. Infecting it, as an improperly trained water mage would do, was unacceptable on all ground.

"May I… perhaps, speak to her?" The maid spoke the question, hands lowering only enough to keep her voice unmuffled. It wasn't an unreasonable request, far from it. In fact, having a commoner that was close to Undyne may be exactly what the monster needed. "B-But alone… just us two." Now that was a step too far.

"That I cannot allow." Louise quickly returned. A wave of her hand with it. "I swore to Undyne I would help her when the time came and that time is now. I am not going to leave her side on the first night at that!" A raise in voice was appropriate, no differently than the monster herself would do. Had done. "Besides, what possible words might you say that I cannot hear?"

"Personal stories, secrets," the maid listed quickly. Those were not things commoners deserved to keep from nobles. "Times I-I… I've felt hurt and lost myself. I-I thought if I could share them with Undyne, ma-maybe she could understand… o-or help her…"

"You propose to tell Undyne more tragic tales?" Her whisper was nearly a snarl, but Louise composed herself. Shouting right now was _not_ the right decision. No rules told her that. Instinct did. "That is a risk we cannot take."

"Then… please allow me the risk, your grace," the commoner spoke as she bowed. She had no need to stand tall, not in Louise's eyes. Her words were already bold enough. Telling a noble what to and not to allow. "I'll accept all consequences… damnation that comes from it, but… I-I cannot do nothing."

"Nothing may be best in this moment," Louise said. She blinked as the message was spoken.

The words sounded strange until she realized they were her own. Inaction as an action, as her father had said. Only now did she understand his meaning. It still left bile in her throat.

"I cannot think of anything to say and hardly do."

"Then I beg of you, Ms. Valliere, allow me to try." Louise watched with wide eyes as the maid bowed her head with the words.

"I… beg of you," the commoner lowered her head even deeper with the words. She did not rise to meet Louise's eyes. "Undyne has done more for me in the few days she has been here than many have their entire lives. My debt to her is grander than any amount of gold. I wish only to see her rise again a-and i-i-if I can speak her like she spoke to me, perhaps I-I can…" her words fell off at that.

Louise was not curious why. She already had the answer. Experience had given it to her over the past few hours.

Any attempt reach a goal that couldn't even be said was fruitless.

"Maybe ya should give her a chance," the squeaking of the sword came with the words. Louise turned head to see the blade against the wall. It appeared no different, though she hardly expected it to. "I can tell ya that this misses really doesn't seem like the kind of gal ta speak heartlessly. So, it's a good odd that she won't push this ball of steel deeper into the flames." Its words were almost cryptic with their vagueness. But that was hardly the issue.

"It matters not," Louise spoke in kind. Her eyes flashed to Undyne, a reminder to herself the monster was still very much present in the room. "Undyne… needs something I cannot give, and I _know_ it is not something this maid, you." She turned and pointed at the commoner. "Will be able to offer simply with me being gone."

"Can't hurt ta try though," the sword spoke again. Was it truly considering Undyne its partner? Given its language thus far, it was difficult to tell. "And there's a saying a remember from way's back. 'Only the crazies think doin' the same thing will make somethin' different'."

Callous words… but with a clear meaning.

But it was something she had contradictions for, many in fact. The repetition of any action led to mastery, which would lead to results in the future. Magic of wand, strength in muscle, and compassion in speech. Louise knew if she kept talking to Undyne she'd reach her, maybe. Perhaps now she should be silent, but that was hardly reason to leave… Was it?

The ideas were more troubling than helpful. This was something that never should have happened. It all just felt… _wrong_. Wrong like Undyne losing a fight, like her _mother_ losing a fight. It was so alien, so impossible, so-

"Just go…"

If the room weren't so quiet, Louise would have missed the words.

She nearly jumped in her rush to face Undyne, the monster still lying on the bed. Hardly a hair was different than before, arms still clung about her torso and face concealed by her bright red mane. Not even the blankets appeared tussled. But she spoke… even if Louise didn't find anything to like in her words.

"Just leave me alone." The monster spoke again, hardly more than a breath's whisper. Louise held her own to keep from interrupting Undyne. "… can't help me now."

Those were not words Louise wished to hear.

Her throat worked on nothing, trying to both breathe and speak at once. Her eyes simply stayed locked on Undyne, hoping that the monster would rise any moment with her vicious smile, speaking words that so heavily countered the grin she perpetually wore. But nothing happened. Undyne didn't speak again, still didn't move… nothing.

Louise rolled her fingers in the palm of her hands. Was this where she fought forward like Undyne spoke? Was this where the Rule of Steel ruled? Was this supposed to be where she fought back? Neither of them felt right. And Undyne said that… she said that she was supposed to prove herself when she had to.

But this moment, staring at the broken monster, did not feel like the time to fight. It felt like the time to leave.

"… very well," Louise whispered herself. She didn't have the desire to raise her voice. "I will… return." There wasn't much more she could promise. She turned to the wall, grabbing the rusted blade's sheath, taking it with it. If she was to leave, she was going to have words with the rusted steel, if only for advice.

She ignored pointedly the pitiful gaze of the commoner. Louise was a noble and the maid a Plebian. She was _not_ to be given looks of pity from a pitiful human. She ignored it, even as she left the tower, the rusted sword gripped in her hands. She kept her eyes on the stone stairs, not the fiery torches.

Louise kept moving, doing whatever she could to ignore those words.

"Hey, pinky, it's okay," the blade spoke in her arms. She ignored it, focusing on her steps. "Undyne ain't thinkin' clearly right now. Ya gotta realize that. Lashin' out is what people do when things go bad. Gotta believe I'd know that much."

"Don't talk," Louise spoke simply, an order for a blade. Rusted and worn as the sword was, it was a tool. And tools obeyed orders. "Talking isn't going to solve anything."

"With Undyne, probably not," the blade spoke _too_ easily. "Never seen someone pulled from mournin' cause someone said some good words. Usually it's the bad ones that get a reaction, but yer smart 'nough to know that's a bad idea."

A babe would know that was a bad idea. Angering a monster already wounded. That was to speak little of what Undyne would say further.

"But talkin' for us, that can do 'lot of good." Perhaps, but she was no warrior that used a blade. She had magic, and the blade was worn worse than an old cabin's nail. "Fer example, remember when I was talkin' bout knowin' other wizard that used big bangs?"

Louise stopped walking. The sword spoke on.

"Way I see it, we got time ta kill, and you look like someone who could listen to a wise old blade like myself." Age before wisdom, it seemed. But was it honest?

"You jest." Louise spoke it as fact. It had to be. A blade, magically as it was, was hardly capable of teaching magic. "What do you know of my magic?"

"I know that you ain't the first human ta make things go bump in the night," the blade spoke on, gaily as ever. "And even if my memory's 'bout as sharp as the rough end of a hammer, I'm bettin' I can remember a few spells that used, other than booms."

It was too good a promise to be true. That was as much a fact as the end of Undyne's king.

"Hey, how 'bout this. Go out to the yard, some place ya feel safe, and we can give yer magic a try. Nothin' dangerous or worryin', and it ain't like ya got a lot else to do. Well… either of us."

Louise gripped the sheath of the blade a bit tighter. Its words were there, its promises sweet, but it sounded like the forbidden fruit in the Founder's tales. Was the blade a snake? No, because Undyne was the monster, and she was kinder than most nobles.

She swallowed on nothing, eyes watching the poor reflection of fire on the blade's worn surface.

"Do you swear you can help?" she asked the magic sword. "Do you truly have a way to help me?"

"Girly, I don't lie." The magic sword returned. "I… _embellish_."

* * *

"Undyne, I try not to hate." Siesta whispered again. "But I… _hate_ this."

Undyne heard Siesta described something. She wasn't sure what. The human had started talking and she didn't really care to stop her. It didn't matter. It didn't matter because nothing mattered anymore. All she wanted to do was listen to nothing.

"You've helped me in ways most would have made jests at… but you did with no hesitation." It was too bad she couldn't save the right people, the right monsters. "It's something I can never forget. It's… it's something I thought couldn't happen."

Funny. She didn't think she could be saved. And Undyne was sure that Asgore couldn't even get hurt. They were both wrong. That's why it didn't matter. It didn't matter because nothing mattered in the end. Asgore was gone, even after ruling for a thousand years.

And she had failed, even after training for over a decade.

"You've been here for so little time, but you have already done more for me than any noble would dare dream." Nobles were stupid. Asgore was _dead_. "So I… I cannot dare to do nothing now. I know though, th-that is I know I cannot do much. But I… Undyne…" Maybe she'd leave. No, of course she wouldn't leave.

Undyne heard the human move, but she didn't care to where. She could stand, sit, leave, whatever. No matter what she did, Undyne would still be on the bed. She'd still be staring at nothing, with eyes shut and her hair draped over her head.

It helped her to imagine that this was all just a dream. But that didn't matter.

Because Asgore would still be _dead_.

She heard Siesta walk around the bed, probably to get a look at her face. Didn't matter if she did. She felt the human stop just in front of her, probably to kneel. Undyne didn't bat her eyes or attempt to glance at Siesta. The human wanted to talk, so she could. It wouldn't help Undyne even if she did.

She could waste her breath. It was better than Undyne wasting her time.

"I cannot imagine the death of a liege… but I can tell you the pain that comes from the death of a loved one." Undyne felt her breathing hitch. " _I…_ I know because I have experienced that. And I _know_ the torment that it brings.!"

It shouldn't matter, it couldn't matter. Siesta was a human, not like Asgore. She'd never have someone like Asgore in her life… probably. Even if she did… it wouldn't matter. But she wanted to talk, and Undyne didn't have enough care to stop her. She could waste her breath.

"I come from a family of eight, the eldest of them all. It was my duty to care and feed the youngest, like my sibling Julien." She sounded happy. Great. "When my youngest brother was born, I was already at the age to care for others."

But Undyne didn't care. Not right now. Nothing mattered right now, really nothing. Especially not another sob story. The pinkette had already tried all of that.

"My father worked night and day for the little money we needed to live, my mother working the days and helped me in the nights. All I have ever done is clean and cook for others." Undyne didn't do anything more than breath.

It must have been nice for the human, having a family like that. All Undyne cared about was that Asgore was gone. Asgore had _fallen down_.

"It was difficult, but… b-but we were happy. Unprivileged, impoverished, but alive and h-happy." Undyne gripped the sheets beneath her. Maybe they ripped. She didn't care enough to check. Siesta didn't care enough to stop talking. Undyne didn't care enough to stop her.

"B-But as I got older… my mother star… started to become ill." Undyne could hear something twisting. She didn't care enough to check what it was. She didn't want to and didn't care to.

It sounded too much like when she played with _Asgore's Cape_ when she was little.

She didn't want to know what it really was. It wouldn't be good to know. It was a good thing she didn't care enough to know. That just meant she had to listen to Siesta keep talking. At least that she could passively ignore.

"So, my father started to work harder, a-and Julien and I took jobs to pay for healers. They came, a-and did… some things, _anything_ to help my mother." Undyne didn't care what those things were.

She didn't care the same way she didn't care about the bed beneath her or ceiling above her. None of it mattered because _Asgore was dead_. It was very telling where the story was going, and she didn't care to know.

"We didn't… there wasn't enough money, ne-ever enough." Siesta quieted as she spoked. Undyne found herself hoping the human would stop talking.

She wouldn't. But if she didn't it wouldn't matter. She could talk because it would help anything.

"S-Soon she couldn't work, o-or go for walks." Undyne felt something grab the edge of the bed. She didn't care what the human did. "I-I… I can't remember the number of times we, all of us… just spent the days taking care of her." Siesta sighed, like pinkette did.

They were doing the same thing, talking to make Undyne talk. She didn't want to talk though, because it didn't matter. There was nothing to say or do because none of it mattered anymore. None of it mattered because _Asgore had fallen down_.

"But after the first year, I-I was able to gain a position here. I could… I could do what I was best at, cleaning, and send the bit of silver I made to help my family." Her breath was shaking. Undyne could only tell because she was the only sound in the room.

Silence probably sounded good right now. At least if it was silent she could pretend this was all just a dream. Asgore had told her about how great it was to dream, to hope, to imagine. All she wanted to do know was dream _about_ Asgore. But she couldn't do that if the human was talking.

"My mother would send me letters, w-when she was able. I can remember how often I would… sit by the candle on my nightstand, reading them…" She was getting quiet. Maybe she'd stop talking. Undyne didn't care enough to tell her top stop. She just wanted her to.

She did stop, but only long enough for her to put a hand on Undyne's arm.

She was weak, incredibly weak. Weak like the humans Asgore had _fallen down_ to keep safe. But Undyne didn't bat her away. That'd take too much energy, too much effort. And in the end, it wouldn't matter. It wouldn't make a difference.

Undyne just didn't care enough to tell the human to stop.

"… When they stopped coming… I... _I-I_ …" Siesta was weak, but her grip on Undyne's arm was getting stronger. Still weak, but stronger. Didn't matter how strong it got though, it just wasn't enough to make her care. "I had _no one_ to speak to. W-When my father wrote of her… of what…"

Siesta was cutting herself off. It became obvious to Undyne why. It was obvious when the human put her head to Undyne's arm. She was still really weak, still hardly enough for Undyne to even feel her head, let alone hand.

But she could definitely feel the human's tears on her scales.

Undyne let a slow breath out of her lungs. It just felt like she had to do it. Now someone else was feeling what she felt. It didn't make anything better. It didn't make the pit in her chest smaller and it didn't make her desire to dream lessen.

No matter how much the human cried, no matter how much _Undyne_ cried, Asgore would still be _dead._ They _both_ would be.

Nothing happened for a while, to Undyne's utter lack of care. Siesta didn't try and speak, her weak grip didn't get stronger, and she kept getting Undyne's scales wet. Probably the pinkette's bed, too. But that didn't matter. Nothing mattered.

It took some time more, but the human did start to shift. Her head slowly raised from Undyne's arm, leaving behind just the wet mess of tears. Undyne didn't care. She was used to Waterfall. What she wasn't used to was this.

Siesta's hands left her arm, but one glided up it. She stopped when it was by her hair, hovering over it. Undyne could tell it was there, but she didn't care. Siesta was weak. It didn't matter what she did.

"Undyne," the human put a hand on her shoulder. It didn't matter that it was there. She couldn't hurt her. Even if Siesta could, Undyne didn't care. Because it didn't matter. "I… Please tell me what I can do. This is… I can't bear to see you like this. I _hate_ this." She wasn't the only one, but Undyne just didn't care.

It was weird. But, it still didn't matter. The human couldn't bear to look at her. Undyne couldn't bear to see _Asgore's Lance_ again. It would just be admitting that it was there. She flexed her webbed hand into the pinkette's sheets. She heard ripping this time. Still didn't care.

"When my mother… all of it, everything happened, I-I had no one. Until _you_ came, I had no one." She was still talking as if words would fix everything. They couldn't fix anything. "You don't have to be that way, Undyne. _I_ can be here for you."

It didn't matter if she was. The human wasn't getting it, and Undyne didn't care enough to explain it. The human couldn't bring Asgore _back_. Nothing could. So, nothing mattered.

"I can… I can give my _sympathy_ , my _sorrow_ , and _everything else_. But what is it… what can I do to help you?" She had two hand on Undyne now. Must have been leaning over to stare at her. Didn't matter. Undyne had her hair over her face. No point in pushing it away. It was there. _Asgore_ wasn't.

 _Asgore_ wasn't here and he never would be. He was gone, died protecting a few humans who locked his stuff away. Only shred of a good thing was that the burial was right, his _dust_ over his items.

But that was it.

No one to say goodbye, no tombstone to visit. Nothing. There was only one thing Undyne wanted, needed. And she couldn't have it. It was what no human or monster could give.

"Give me back Asgore," she whispered the wish.

Her teeth grit as the words passed through her throat. It was forced and pained, like drinking the lava in Hotland. Maybe she'd prefer that.

"Give me back Asgore… or just leave." All she heard after that was the human gasping.

It didn't matter. It really didn't matter. It didn't matter because the human was just a human that didn't get what she was feeling, but wanted to pretend she could.

Undyne just wanted to be alone. Maybe then… she could at least dream that Asgore _wasn't_ dead.

At least that would matter.

And for a bit of time, it was silent. Undyne realized that when the human release her arm fully, hearing her stand up by the bedside. Undyne didn't open her eyes to see what she was doing. It wouldn't matter what. Siesta wasn't talking, and that meant it was silent.

And the silence kept reminding her that this was real. It reminded her that no matter what she did, Asgore was gone, and always would be gone. It reminded her that no matter who she helped, he would still be gone. It taunted her, laughed at her, and never stopped telling her that Asgore was _dead_.

And Undyne had _failed._

She heard the human walk away from her, around the bed and back towards the door. It was quiet while she did it. Undyne kept trying to fall asleep. That was all she could care about right now. Everything else just didn't matter.

"Undyne…" Siesta called one more time by the door.

Undyne still didn't move. Whatever the human was doing didn't matter. At least if she left Undyne could try and dream. Maybe she'd be able to find some home for Asgore as well.

She wouldn't, and she knew that.

"Yo… You will always be my friend, Undyne." Siesta spoke. Her voice was shaking. "Thank you for s-saving me, and… a-and everything else."

Undyne heard the door shut. She didn't turn to see it. Didn't matter that the human left.

Undyne was willing to give up everything she had to get _Asgore_ back, but it wouldn't be enough. He was so important, so much better than anything she could ever be. There was nothing she had that could even compare. It didn't matter then.

The silence wouldn't let her forget that.

Nothing mattered now that _Asgore_ was gone.

* * *

Everything mattered now that _Derflinger_ was here.

"Kay, kay, that's good," the magical sword spoke. "But yer gettin' too focused on that wand. Damn sure that magic ain't in that stick. I know ya can _magic_ that!"

Almost everything mattered now that the sword was here. Derflinger, yes, that was its name. Louise felt a flash of guilt at refusing to name the blade until now. Especially now that it was giving him lessons in magic no professor at the academy had done before.

"Right! Ya got it now!" Derf continued to lecture, in its own way. "Make sure ta keep yer mind focused now. You don't _wand_ anything ta go wrong now. Least I don't!"

When Louise saw through the deplorable number of puns the rusty blade insisted on speaking, she could see the merit to its lessons. It spoke true of its time with mages like her in past, made only more evident by its instructions on her magic.

The words and directions were so vastly different from what the professors had spoken of, to what books had been written of. But as Undyne had shown her, she had to change to make change. Undyne… Louise shook her head. She couldn't think of the monster right now.

"Careful pinky!" Derflinger spoke again. It was obvious why. "I got thick skin, but I'm not in for testin' how thick it is!" Louise nodded forwards, facing the direction of her wand, not the blade.

Because in front of her was the effort she had been searching for years. In the air before her, apart from any magic for several yards, was the proof of her bloodline. Not a fantasy, not trickery, and certainly not defeat.

Floating in the air were sparks. Sparking was king's leagues above exploding.

It wasn't meant to spark, as the sword had instructed, but she did not create an explosion with her words or magic. She was creating something that no other noble she had ever witnessed had done. That alone was worth cheer and celebration, were she anyone else. For now, she had to focus only on what was before her, because focus was key. Steel like the blade, but not like the rules.

Her wand made delicate and fixed motions in the air, precise enough for her to follow the sparking in front of her. The sparks flew and danced like the small embers that jumped from a blade in the forge. Tiny, nearly minuscule, pockets of explosions. That's what it looked like, but that's not what it was.

"Careful, gotta make sure ya keep that design straight." The blade spoke again. Louise dare not speak, for fear of breaking her concentration. "Gotta keep makin' that swirl go 'round, cause I'm not privy to _spell_ ing this all out again."

It's increasingly cruder puns were not helping. It was a debate alone if that was even a pun or a poor use of a homograph. She pushed it away. That didn't matter.

What mattered was the feeling of the cool air on her skin, the chills she received when they touched the beads of sweat on her forehead. She fought back urges to wipe the offending liquid away. She only had to focus on the trailing sparks in the air, the _proof_ of her lineage.

And she could stare at that proof until the sun rose and set again. Her eyes would never tire of it.

"Yer doin' great there. Just keep that up for… hey, ain't that the maid from earlier?" But apparently, she could be distracted.

Louise diverted her eyes from the spell at the blade's words, head whipping in the small clearing. Indeed, as the blade had said, the dark-haired Plebian was walking down the path. It was strange, odd enough to captivate her attention-

-And turn her sparking spell into a firecracker.

_Boom_

"Gah!" Louise let out a quick shriek at the sudden sound. It was an infamously familiar one at that. Her head whipped behind her only to see the smoky and charred remains of scorched earth beneath where she was weaving her spell. It was enough to make her nose rise and lips snarl.

And she was doing so well. The maid would have to give a suitable excuse for distracting her in such a way.

"Heh, sorry 'bout that little disruption," the blade apologized. It was not his fault, not entirely, but it was appropriate he express regret. "Up 'till that ending, I'd say you were doin' a real _bang_ up job!" No, he needed to _grovel_ for forgiveness.

But he could do that later.

With her practice interrupted, it was the opportune time to speak to the maid, especially now that she was passing through the yard. It was odd though, that she had not reacted in any measurable way to the bang Louise had created. A part of her was thankful, another was still cautious.

"Stay here," Louise spoke to the blade, more for herself than it. Derflinger still felt complied to add on to her comment, obviously.

"No worries, I'll _stick_ right here." His point was embedded into the ground.

Louise resisted the urge to kick him like Undyne would… usually would. There were more important matters.

She pocketed her wand as she walked towards the maid. The Plebian was walking idly across the yard, head down and focused on some object she was carrying. It was not an uncommon sight, the commoners usually carrying objects ranging from waste to clothing. But in the dead of night, it was odd.

It still struck Louise in a poor spot that the maid was not with Undyne. She did not want to leave the monster alone, despite her wishes.

But as she approached, she saw something else to give her pause. It did not slow her walk and certainly didn't make her stop, but it rang too many poor bells.

Siesta, as the maid was named, was carrying luggage.

"Commoner… where are you headed?"

Louise herself wasn't sure why she asked the question, but she couldn't ignore the maid leaving. She was close to Undyne, at least close enough for the monster to risk her life to save it.

The maid turned, her dark hair bouncing lightly. A likely effect to the jump she gave. The maid must not have seen Louise. It was forgivable, given they were offered light only by the stars. But that was a matter for another time. For now, she needed to know what the commoner was planning, carrying luggage across the Academy Grounds…

"I ask again, where are you heading." She walked closer to the maid as she spoke, pocketing her wand. Because now the wand was dangerous, because she was beginning to cast _magic_. Plebeians were always nervous around such things. Besides, this one had a special place next to Undyne. "Were you not speaking to Undyne? Did something occur?"

"Ms. Valliere," the maid spoke, bowing deeply as commoners did to nobles. "I apologize for not seeing you. I was focused on other… things." Louise her brow raise at the statement. It was an odd English, especially from a commoner that had so far expressed excellent rhetoric, stuttering aside.

But Louise was a noble, with _magic_. Magic, and… a duty to Undyne.

That duty was what forced her to ask the same question thrice.

"I'll ask once more, where are you headed this late hour?" She twisted her head down the path, seeing nothing down the stretch of dirt that marred the otherwise pristine yard. Pristine, now that the nobles had repaired the damage of Fouquet's attacks. "Is there some task that requires you to pack your belongings in such a way?"

"What? Oh," the maid responded after seemingly shake herself. It made Louise cock her head to the side. What was wrong with the woman? Did she need the assistance of a healer? "I apologize Ms. Valliere. My mind was pre-occupied with… what I spoke to Undyne about."

That deserved more attention.

"And what did you two speak of?" Louise uncrossed her arms and straightened her posture. A commoner though she was, the maid may have made gains with helping Undyne. That was worth respect. "Has she given word of what can help her? Do you know of what I can do to assist her? Anything?"

The maid didn't respond, not verbally. Louise would have raised a finger with her voice, normally. But watching the maid made it clear that such an act would garner no new information, not with the way she was responding to the questions.

She was biting her lips, shaking her head stiffly from side-to-side. It was a worrying visage, only made worse by the way the Plebian refused to raise her lowered head. Something painful was amiss. She only hoped it was not to add onto the painful revelations the monster had already endured.

"Th-there's nothing," the maid finally spoke. Her voice caught on something. She spoke again before Louise could ask what. "There is nothing _I_ can do. I spoke to her, but Undyne wouldn't… _didn't_ speak back to me." So, it was the same for them both. One-way conversations.

"Hmm…" Louise hummed as she raised a hand to cover her mouth.

Having spent hours with the monster herself, and being the one to witness and bear the warrior after news of her liege's death, it was not a conclusion she could argue with. It was one she loathed as deeply and hotly as her once-true inability to caste magic.

But she could cast magic now. And she could help Undyne just the same.

"What _did_ you speak to her about? Regarding what topic?" She moved her hands to her hips, staring at the maid.

The commoner reacted in no obvious way. Perhaps it was just too dark to tell, with only star and moonlight keeping them from blending into the shadows. But Louise could make out the maid playing with the luggage she carried, swinging, and twisting the handles that bore them.

Simply, she was stalling. The solution was as obvious as it was distasteful. However, it was now necessary.

"Must I speak to your supervisor to gain proper answers?"

It was a threat she loathed to make, but Louise would cast aside all the jewelry her family had provided her if it meant learning of a way to help Undyne. The monster would do the same, perhaps even more. The maid shook her head lightly. It was far too calm a reaction.

"I spoke to Undyne about… about a _painful_ moment in my past." Ah, so it was difficult to speak of. It was why Louise loathed to force Plebeians to speak in such a way. "But she didn't care. I don't… I-I don't if she _can_ care anymore."

That was too far.

"Hold your tongue with such judgements!" Louise quickly reprimanded the commoner, as she should! Her finger rose and pointed at the dark-haired woman. "There is no noble, commoner, or monster who cares more for other than Undyne. You of all the servants know that, well enough to know better than saying such _horrible_ things."

The words made the commoner flinch. _Good_. That was enough to show that she had gotten the message. Proper reprimands made commoners act in such a way. Either with rapid words summarized as groveling, or stiffened posture resembling a startled faun. Crude as it was, the tells were obvious.

But the tears were not.

Louise had to blink when she saw the like sparkling of the liquid, nearly invisible in the dark light of the night. But no matter the number of times she blinked or shook her gaze, she saw the same tears trailing down the commoner's bowed head, dripping onto the grass, and vanishing from sight. It muted the noble.

"P-Please do not worry, your grace," the commoner returned.

Her voice was shaking. That was easily explained by the tears. It did not explain why she was crying the first place.

"You w-will not need to… to concern yourself with me much longer. This I… I _promise_." Louise did not know how to take such words.

They were submissive and quick, spoken with as much emotion as a noble expected from a Plebian. In all other settings, she would only be scolded for tripping over her words

But in this moment, Louise could only tell something _disturbing_ was amiss.

"A good night, Madam." The maid bowed with the action.

She rose and quickly fled afterwards, luggage carried at her side all the way. Louise watched the maid retreat for the servant quarters disappearing into the shadows of the building before opening its door. She bit her lip as she thought back on the exchange.

Too much was wrong for her to ignore. The way the maid spoke, what she spoke of, and the vagueness to the talk at all… none of it sat right with the young noble. Something was most wrong, but she could not place a word on what it was.

Her fingers moved to rub her temples as she paced back to Derflinger. Shy as the commoner had been around her before, she was far from evasive or out-right pessimistic. Her conversation with Undyne had done… something, but Louise could not think of how that related to the Plebeian's seeming dismissal of the conversation.

"Somethin' wrong pinky?" the magic blade spoke. She gave the rusted sword a look she was doubtful it could accurately see, let alone in the shadow of night. "Yer bein' uncharacteristically quiet."

She ignored its choice words. Too much had happened today to exacerbate unnecessary emotions. Anger, currently, was unneeded.

"I am not sure," Louise found herself responding. "The maid was oddly… evasive to my questions." She was used to such words, but on different topics with other individuals, hardly ever the servants.

"Hmm, ya thinkin' she could've been spoked by what happened with my partner?" The blade's question had an obvious answer. So obvious Louise didn't bother to breath the answer. "Pretty sure no one's goin' ta sleep ta night the same as they were this morning."

The wisdom in those words was clear. Clear enough that Louise found herself nodding. But it still did not explain what the maid was speaking of. How could her concerns with the commoner seemingly be gone the next day? How awful was Undyne's apathy that it harmed the Plebian in such a way?

_"Just go."_

Louise clutched at her chest as she remembered Undyne's words.

They were not words she would ever enjoy to hear, let alone from the monster that had helped her… that she now had to help. It was why she had to be strong, why she had to follow Undyne's own advice.

She had to be strong… at least until Undyne was strong again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you are enjoying this story, and I want to see where it goes or ask me questions, try and jump on my Discord to talk with everyone else. You won't be alone, I promise.
> 
> discord.gg/fgeV4ra
> 
> If you're really into my stories, and I can't thank you enough for it, try and check out my Patreon to see if there are any rewards you'd like to participate in. Be one of the first and be one of my heroes!
> 
> https://www.patreon.com/WizardofWords


	14. Have You Heard This Command Before

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Now... Can you guess the special guest~~?
> 
> If you are enjoying this story, and I want to see where it goes or ask me questions, try and jump on my Discord to talk with everyone else. You won't be alone, I promise.
> 
> discord.gg/fgeV4ra
> 
> If you're really into my stories, and I can't thank you enough for it, try and check out my Patreon to see if there are any rewards you'd like to participate in. Be one of the first and be one of my heroes!
> 
> https://www.patreon.com/WizardofWords

The crowned princess of Tristian… It was a title she felt more than burdened by.

Approaching only the eighteenth year of her life and she had already experienced more of the world than she cared for. Royal Courts, Audience Halls, Parades, Official Greetings, Symphonies, Ambassador Approvals, Galas, and, of course, Royal Marriages.

She had seen each of them once, most of them over a dozen times, and only a few of them had turned out like she imagined. Some dances were simply that. Some symphonies played memorable pieces. Other parades were little more than cheering and celebration.

But she had never been to a wedding where there was truly love between the spouses. She had never been to a court where the verdict was clear. She had never seen the Royal Court with obvious preceding.

And now, she had even met an ambassador with a tale of sorrow.

A slow sight left her lips as Undyne came to the center of her mind. She could not forget the monster's face, twisted in sorrow and absolved rage.

"Princess," she heard Agnes speak her name softly, but she ignored her Musketeer. Her mind was elsewhere, focused on other matters. It helped her find her center.

Because Undyne was just one more example of dreams being crushed by reality. Some adventures were over before they began. Allies were only such so long as you give them reason to be. Gold was worth more than friendship. Corruption was irreversible.

They were all dreams of her when she was younger. Imagining things perfect as only a child could, what she was no longer. She could not ignore the truth of reality, no matter how young she was in body.

Because now, the last of her dreams was being corrupted.

And all because of a single letter written not of malice, duty, or promise, but of the one emotion her dreams were built on. To her beloved who shared that dream.

_Love._

Even a letter of love could not escape the cruelty of reality.

Not when it threatened the allegiance of kingdoms.

"Princess, please, we need to converse," Agnes spoke again. And she was right. Plans needed to be made, and the best plans came when all participated. That included the crowned princess of Tristian.

"Yes, I apologize Agnes," she offered her long-time caretaker. "I was merely remembering everything at stake." A half-truth, but containing no lies.

"Is the betrothal truly in jeopardy?" A voice asked. Henrietta raised her head to observe the speaker.

It was Sir Wardes from across the room.

His hat was off and arms crossed, enough to allow one of his hands to pinch the hair on his chin. It was a fitting look as he leaned against wall. It gave him an air of self-control and confidence. Both were high qualities to have as the Captain of any regiment, let alone the Griffon Knights.

"Could there be a chance that this letter is not found by the undesirables?" He asked the same question in a different manner. "Could inaction possibly be the best action?"

"No, the threat is real," Agnes replied before Henrietta could. In this meeting, it was allowed. She was the receiver of much of the information, only just relayed to Henrietta herself. "And evidence of the unsanctioned union could potentially ruin ties with Germania and put our own allies in an unfavorable position. Albion will not stay idle."

"Unapproved love does tend to work that way," Wales agreed. "Reducing the number of suitors from other kingdoms makes them wary of future business." Henrietta said nothing to the man.

"The issue is the evidence it would pose if presented to the other kingdoms." Agnes continued. "A love letter between Prince Wales and you, Princess," Agnes spoke to her as she mentioned her. "It would be damning enough for the church to declare Tristian unholy."

"Unfavorable as that is, I believe the larger threat is the cancellation of the union between our Princess Henrietta and the crowned Prince of Germania." Sir Wales, once more, brought to light the truth of reality.

Weddings were not of love, but power. And her love for Sir Wales spoiled it.

"I believe we all understand the severity of the situation." Henrietta spoke to stop the light banter between the two. It was her mistake they had to correct. Her voice was not to be ignored. "And, how important to keep this mission secret from others."

"Of course, your highness," Agnes answered quickly. "It is why I have kept this from your mother and the other guards." Henrietta silently thanked the Musketeer. She was loyal to fault, of that no one could deny.

"And myself being betrothed to Louise de La Valliere. I would do nothing to harm her or her companions." Sir Wardes spoke as he adjusted his arms. "My loyalty is to you and the kingdom."

He stopped when his gloved hand was settled over his heart, his opposite arm bent around his back. His bow was low and practiced, one showing his training and loyalty all at once. He was a man who could be trusted.

Now if only he and Agnes could speak without snarls or barbs.

"Though I must say even a commoner as capable as your Musketeer must be aware of the forces acting around her." Sir Wardes resumed his stance as he spoke.

"And I dare to argue a flippant noble such as yourself is incapable of truly bearing the weight of actions around you. So selfish with what you have over others." Agnes tightened the grip on her blade as she spoke.

Princess Henrietta sighed. Choice barbs like that.

"Speaking of what we possess, are we two truly the only ones capable of knowing of this?" Sir Wardes asked, attention returning to the princess. She knew who he was referring to. "I believe my fiancée would be honored to help us in this plight, and her absence of hers would be far from flag-raising."

"And you would trust the safety of the kingdom, let alone the princess, to a noble without magic and a monster of a familiar?" Agnes countered with her own question. That was unfair to Louise. "That is not to mention that the monster has no place in the politics of Tristian."

"And you think it best to throw away a potential ally?" Wardes countered. Henrietta had seen him around Nobles enough to be aware of his self-control. Captains were full of control, if nothing else.

"I think it wise to be cautious when inviting foreign agents to conduct unspoken tasks." Agnes countered. Her words were choice as always.

She was sporting her usual scowl during times of conflict. Sir Wardes, however, was all smiles.

"And I believe I'm getting a _headache_." And the talks had only just begun.

"My apologies, princess," Agnes answer was immediate. She bowed beside her chair, head lowered in submission. It was far more than Henrietta ever expected of her Musketeer. "I spoke harshly and out of line."

"Myself as well. I am merely attempting to keep every option on the table." Henrietta knew neither were directly at fault.

No, the fault came together.

"And I thank you both for your input," Henrietta continued. She took in a breath of air, releasing it slowly. It calmed her mind. "But the issue is more than merely subterfuge." She nodded towards Agnes, who did the same in kind.

"Albion is under a civil war, and Prince Wales of Albion has gone into hiding." It was nearly Henrietta's worst fear. But she held faith the truly worst would not happen. "As such, the letter exchanged between him and Princess Henrietta is either in his custody or still within the castle walls."

"And all that is needed to ruin to ruin relations with Germania is a spy in the right place at the right time." ' _Right'_ wasn't the word Henrietta would have chosen, but Sir Wardes meaning was clear. "Would it not be more prudent then to include more members in this conversation?"

"Not when said members have questionable skills or loyalty to the crown." Henrietta could hear the growl in Agnes voice. The _fault_ in her loyalty was showing, but the loyalty was invaluable. "Not when the area of suspect is a civil-war split country."

"I assure you that Louise is far from incapable. Her upbringing alone has prepared her for many of life challenges." That, Henrietta knew to be an exaggeration. "And should this _monster_ of a familiar be so capable, fear for her harm will be even less."

"Not when the monster is rendered into a mute mess by the death of her liege," Agnes threw back. Her arm swung as if to throw the words themselves. "And her loyalties would be to a kingdom none of us have seen, let alone heard of."

"But would it not be a grand gesture to the… monster taking the throne of her deceased liege?" Sir Wardes probed the question like a noble. "Inviting a foreign dignitary on a mission such as this, one who has claimed to be a warrior of great strength? It would show our strength _and_ loyalty to her kingdom."

Henrietta put the ends of her fingers on her temples. Her headache was coming back.

"Of course, the _Captain_ is more concerned with appearances." The snarl Agnes spoke with was visible to a blind man. Henrietta could make the sound of creaking wood… with her eyes shut in concentration. "He cares nothing for the risk of others."

"And obviously the _Musketeer_ cares nothing for those she cannot recognize." The same could be said for Sir Wardes's grin. The creaking wood appeared to be getting louder. "Believing herself the only one capable of the task at hand."

Henrietta almost felt a vein snap in her head.

"Self-righteous prick." Agnes.

"Arrogant commoner." Sir Wardes?

"Loose noble!" Agnes again.

"Plebian Cow." Still Wardes.

" _Hypocrite!_ " Too much Agnes.

"Dog!" Too far Wardes.

It popped.

" _Children!_ " Finally, Henrietta.

The room silenced itself with her single-word description for the two adults. It fit their action marvelously, in a way poets would faun to mimic. Unfortunately, Henrietta had no such time to note such.

She was feeling something else now, given the _'conversation'_ between Sir Wardes and Agnes. It wasn't worry for her love, regret for her letter, or pity for Louise. It was word she had heard the servants mutter between charity events.

It was a word her mother had said was both vulgar and harsh, used to describe emotional turmoil in a barbaric fashion. It felt so right to describe her now.

Henrietta was _pissed_.

"I believe, that both Sir Undyne and Louise are far from prepared to endeavor such mission as this." Of this she spoke no lies.

Henrietta could not imagine the broken warrior of a monster blending into any crowd, let alone remaining unobserved. Louise, her oldest friends, while loyal and dedicated to her heritage was likely to falter if Sir Undyne were not at her best.

It was akin to sending in the bravest squire to a battle's front line. The commitment was undeniable, but the ability was in question. In this tense matter, it wasn't enough.

"Though I trust Louise with my life and her familiar with the same, I recognize neither she nor the monster with her are currently capable of this task." A quick sigh came from Sir Wardes. If she glanced, Henrietta was sure she'd see a proud grin on Agnes's face.

The princess knew what was to come next, but she had to put the two on the same ground. Otherwise, one would find reason to argue with the other, and she couldn't accept that.

It would aggravate her migraine.

"The objective is simple," Princess Henrietta reiterated for the two. They needed focus, and she was fortunate that both were aware of their posts. "Find Prince Wales and tell him the severity of the situation. I know he will agree destroy the letter to preserve the union between myself and the Germanian Prince."

Of that, she had no doubt.

"Of course, your highness," Sir Wardes responded quickly, practiced. "But I must ask once more, can we not be sure the Prince will not, or has not, destroyed the letter himself? He is honorable as he is loyal. I doubt heavily he would keep something so dangerous so… _vulnerable_."

"The fear is that he would keep it out of love." Henrietta fought back a sigh at Agnes's _honest_ words. "And as said, it would only be a matter of capture or a moment of weakness that could potentially ruin relations."

"So, the mission is to find Sir Wales, missing amidst a war-torn country, and either reclaim or destroy the letter from the Princess." Sir Wardes was generalizing. The objective was simple. The _means_ was where the difficulty lied.

And her difficulty now fell on what she was to do next.

"It is why I am sending the two of you to retrieve the letter." Both Sir Wardes and Agnes whipped their heads to her.

"Together?"

" _Princess!_ "

Henrietta sighed at their reactions. At least now though she would have a chance to explain herself. Games, even with her own subjects.

"As we have already agreed, this is a delicate matter where trust is the most defining factor with those involved." She looked from the Captain to the Musketeer as she spoke. "And of all those close to me, you two are the most loyal and capable I can possibly name."

"I will offer now arguments to my skill or devotion to the crown," Sir Wardes began. "But for what reason do you believe Agnes and I would be best together?"

"I agree." Likely the only time the two ever would. "There is no commoner that can match me in combat and I don't have the over-confidence of noble, but to work with _him_ would be distracting in the worst of manners."

Her head was beginning to throb.

"And I trust you both to understand the _stupidity_ of sending _either_ of you alone." The silence that followed was enough to show they were listening. "You both possess skills necessary to ensure a quick and discrete entrance and exit to Albion, also swiftly enough that the agreement with Germania is not ruined."

"Then would it not be more prudent to send myself with Louise?" Sir Wardes questioned. Henrietta could only raise a brow at the comment.

"With respect to her highness's past with Ms. Valliere, I am told she has yet to accomplish even a single spell during her time at the Magic Academy." Unfortunate, but Henrietta knew it to be true. "The summoning of the monster aside, of course. Why would you think her a more 'prudent' choice?"

"Because few would suspect my fiancé and I to be traveling through the land. It would be possible to merely brush aside rebels by making notion that we are on vacation." There was some logic to it, were it not for a previously stated, and very important, fact.

"I believe few commoners to nobles with any intelligence to spare would believe you traveling through a civil war for pleasure, Sir Wardes." Henrietta spoke carefully.

He sighed at the comment, relenting easily to her logic. It was the only good thing that came with her age, at the expense of her dreams. However, there was another question to ask the Griffon Captain.

"Sir Wardes," Henrietta began, watching the noble carefully. "Can you please explain why you wish for Louise, my friend and a _student_ to accompany you?"

He looked uneasy at being asked the question. _Good_.

"Well, in truth your grace…" Sir Wardes began, tumbling. It was odd, to see the noble captain acting flustered. Perhaps it was just that. "I had hoped to be wed to my dear Louise during a mission such as this. Under the liege that was noble and just." '

Henrietta didn't have to say much. Agnes said everything she was thinking, but louder.

"Are you _insane_ , Sir Wardes?" Her Musketeer accused, justly at that. "Bringing a student, no matter her lineage, into the field of battle, purely for the sake of a wedding? I ask again, are you _insane?!_ "

"I waited for a moment like this to propose it, where battle was meant to be avoided." He attempted to argue, vainly. Only his voice held up. His argument, to Henrietta, had already crumbled. "A recovery mission, non-combatant. She would feel her strongest serving her duty to the crown, and I wished to be tied to her in that moment."

"Once more, are you _insane!?_ " Agnes did not let up. "No matter how discreet or unannounced this task may be, a wedding is a _sure_ fire way to announce who we are. The very act of considering such an idea brings your competency as a Captain into question!" Step too far.

"I believe that's enough," Henrietta responded. She looked to Agnes hurt stare. "On both sides." Now to Sir Wardes submissive glance. Good.

Her headache was getting _worse_.

"I can appreciate the want for romance in marriage." She may truthfully be the last liege of a kingdom who did. "But if want for romancing my _friend_ Louise involves taking her to a field of battle while she is still unprepared, I will disagree."

Sir Wardes swallowed as he processed her words. He was thinking, she could tell. He knew better than to speak until it was clear she was done.

"If your desire is to wed her while she is at her best, then return from this mission successful and help her with the monster Undyne." She could feel both the Griffon Captain and her Musketeer look to her at the statement.

"Your highness, I don't understand." Sir Wardes spoke truthfully. He knew better than to feign wisdom. Any Captain who had seen battle did. "How will reminders of the monster's death, the monster king, help? Where will I find the words to promise her in that moment?" A fine question, but she had the answer.

"Help her to uplift Undyne." It was what she knew her friend to be doing. Louise was as compassionate as she was dedicated. "Help her to make the monster whole again, and I promise you, I will oversee the wedding between the two of you myself."

He sighed on the words, crossing his arms as he bowed his head in thought.

The stillness of the night helped did no one in the room any favors. Henrietta was left on her chair patiently, Agnes by her side with weapons at hand. Sir Wardes was left framed by the pale light of the moon, mulling over what he was told.

The mission would, in truth, proceed with or without him. Henrietta did not need his approval. But, she needed his cooperation. If he disagreed with the plan, it would be flawed in execution. It was the fundamental advantage and curse of trust.

"Very well," Sir Wardes agreed, finally. "I can see the wisdom in your words as clearly as your plans. You have my word the letter will be returned with haste." He looked away from her, and towards Agnes now.

"And I… shall accompany you." Henrietta sighed at her guard's words. Agnes needed to learn control. "For the crowned princess's protection, and the future of Tristian, I shall succeed."

" _We_ shall succeed," Sir Wardes corrected. He was in the right. "Because neither of us has an excuse to lose."

If nothing else, he could be counted on his words.

"Then I leave you both to plan, prepare, and execute what must be done." Henrietta stood with her words. The business was nearly, so very near, concluded. "Give me notice before you leave, and ask for anything else you may require. But do so with haste, because time is no longer on our side."

Both Sir Wardes and Agnes bowed to her, single arm crossed over their chests as they did so. If there was ever one area they were indisputably equal, it was chivalry before the crown.

"And… thank you both," she spoke softer, to both her long-time guard and future partner of her child-hood friend. "Beyond just the crown, thank you for your aide."

"I would offer my life upon your request, princess," Agnes spoke without hesitation. It was a statement she had made more than once before. "All those who serve you would do the same." Henrietta smiled to her.

Perhaps one day she could agree with her guard.

"Thank you, again," she reiterated.

She strode around her desk and past Sir Wardes. He offered an additional nod of his head, a silent promise he would succeed. She had little doubt he would. A square class mage and loyal noble, there was little more potent in a charge than that.

"I believe I know where we may begin our search," she heard Sir Wardes begin to speak to Agnes. Henrietta left the room before the conversation began in earnest. Anything she heard would only worry her.

But all else now was upon their shoulders. Success or failure was up to them. She could only hope they recovered the letter quickly.

However as quickly it took Louise to help Undyne…

* * *

His name was Vittorio Serevare, and he was a patient man.

It had come from years of servitude to the god on high. He understood the difficulty of the faith, and embraced the time it took for the truth to reveal itself. From the humble beginnings of an orphanage to the leader of the church, he knew patience to be the truest and most important virtue of life.

The patient noble saw returns on his deals. The patient farmer saw crops bloom in his land. The patient child saw their gift for their good work.

But sometimes, there was not time for patience.

He kept the thought in his mind as his golden staff tapped across the dark cobblestone beneath him. The air was damp as he walked forward, holding a crackling flame in his hand. He pushed the magic towards the lanterns as he walked, lighting the underground path.

Vittorio's foots steps echoed in the hallway, reminding him to the solitude the long chamber offered. The solitude that offered him peace of mind and conversations with God. Both of which were important to understand the world in which he lived.

He did not enjoy coming here, but when God's plan was hard to see, it was required. And when it was required, time was often against him. He lit another scone as he walked finally illuminating a rotting door at the end of the hall.

A slow sigh left his breaths.

During these times, he needed to pray for God's Patience, but act with God's Speed.

Such times were upon him now. Civil War brewing within small countries, larger kingdoms watching and waiting to fly in at the opportune moment. The balance of powers ready to change in an instant. And if that were not enough, the rarest of magics were involved.

He, at least, could see where the gavel would fall with Albion's war. Loyalists and Rebels fighting one another, for a kingdom of old and new. The victor belonged not to who could say the liege of the other side, but who could convince their allies was the more noble.

The Rebels were at the disadvantage in such a state. Fighting against a centuries old monarchy did not encourage fellow kingdoms to join ranks. It gave them caution. At least Loyalists would be just that when tables were turned in the future.

God awarded the virtuous. Nobles rewarded the same, so long as they were virtuous to their kingdoms.

But if the Rebels could prove the dark side of the Loyalists, a reason to doubt their honor, then the kingdoms of Gallia and Germania would likely side with them instead. Then the Rebels would be loyal to the kingdoms that helped them grow anew.

And, unfortunately for the Loyalists, such a thing did exist.

The love between the princess of Tristian and the prince of Albion was an open secret. Their fondness, history, and time with one another made the assumption all but fact. And because of that, there was naturally evidence of their consummation.

Something simple, likely. A letter perhaps, or maybe even a locket of some kind. Whatever it was, it would be damning for any country but one of the two to possess. That would mean a part would be sent to retrieve such a thing, if it existed.

With the civil war in Albion, such a task would take some time, unless the princess knew of the prince's whereabouts. It was possible, but unlikely. Communication between them was scarce. Such talks always were between unwed royalties.

Only God could be spoken to on one's whim.

But it did not change that there would be a likely detachment to find said item. He would have to wait for the outcome of such action. God had no place in the rise or fall of mortal kingdoms, only his own. Should Tristian fall to war, it was by the will of the Founder and their lord.

Gallia and it's king, Joseph, would doubtlessly act with impunity. Weakness in kingdoms it had on treaty with was a rare thing. To not act on it was even less common. And the greedy noble would no doubt seize at the chance.

Vittorio knew he would. He knew through his faith in God, through his confessionals with other nobles, but also for another reason.

That reason was beyond the rotting door.

Vittorio swung it open, dismissing the fire in his hands as he did so. Inside was a room so much the same as the hallways he entered from. Cobblestone floors, windowless walls, and a ceiling low enough to make one bow their head. Submission to god for even the faithless.

But in the middle of the room, plain as it was, was a simple platform with a simpler object. Carved with a frame of silver, jeweled obviously with pearls, and holding in its center a sheen of glass smoother than the untouched sands of a desert.

It was the Mirror of the Void, and it was what rewarded his patience.

He set his staff on the ground, requiring both hands for what came next. He placed his digits on the edges of the frame, feeling the object touch at his soul. It was a calming power, intoxicating even…

But he was a man of God, devout and loyal. This object, powerful as it was, was simply that. He would not lose his immortal self to the power of anything less than the One on High.

Vittorio let a slow sigh past his lips as he moved his power into the mirror, letting the magic that was within him come forth. In the mirror images formed, and they were not his own.

They were the actions of past, and the actions of others.

He had seen more than enough in the mirror before, devoted weeks and months to it, letting the patience he was known for guide him as he learned. And that devotion returned to him a standing fitting his patience. Pope of God's faith, and the leader of his flock.

But the mirror did not show the past entire, only of those who bore similar blessings upon their soul. Only those who had the same power as he, blessed by the Founder the same as him.

Joseph was such fellow mage, and he could see king's dealings. Joseph, King of Gallia, and saboteur of nations. He was the embodiment of corrupt power, a reminder to Vittorio of what not to be.

Instead, he looked towards the only other mage of the void that had awoken.

He watched the history of Louise de La Vallière.

Vittorio had watched her summon the monster from another world. He had watched her learn from the monster. He had watched the monster teach the girl. He had watched them watch the stars.

But now, he watched them discover the through of her liege. It was a pitiable sight as any… one that only God and time itself could help with.

It was unfortunate, but he, just a man of God, could do nothing for her. His waved his hand over the mirror, dismissing the image as well as his thoughts. Patience was the virtue that would bring his next action.

He took in a slow breath, grabbing his staff from the cobblestone, and turning towards the stairs. His feet tapped lightly across the stone, the staff he held drumming in tune. Only two steps from the stairwell and he saw something that hadn't been there before.

Normally, it was inconsequential. In fact, he would barter with his faith that everyone from the lowest born children to the most honored nobles had seen it at least once a week, if not more. But Vittorio, with who he was with what he had, knew it to be more.

He stared with crossed eyes at the spider that hung from the stairwell.

"Spying on me?" He questioned the insect. "I thought we were past such petty actions."

The spider scurried along its web. A dozen more of its brethren moved from the shadows and onto the silky bed. He sighed deeply at the sight. He loathed being used to such a thing.

He walked past the spiders, ignoring their movement as he feet echoed through the cobblestone hall. They wouldn't do anything to him. They couldn't even if they tried. They were busy speaking to the one who controlled them.

Wherever she was, it was likely overseeing that petty business she called profitable. Profitable in gold, but not in spirit. Using the powers blessed to her by the Founder's will to make sweet treats and drinks, not oversee the well-being of others beneath her.

A sigh left he lips as he continued his trek through the narrow hall. That wasn't a complete truth. The master of the spiders did have much compassion, for other spiders. A true pity that it began and ended with the eight-legged bugs.

With her mind, charisma, and powers, she could truly do great things for God's will on earth, for future peace and prosperity. For she was blessed by the Founder, the same as him.

And Vittorio knew himself to be blessed by the Founder.

The monster he had summoned was proof of it all.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "Ahuhuhuhu~~~~~"


	15. It's A Conveniently Shaped Excuse

The sun was up, Undyne realized.

She realized it when she felt the now familiar hot rays against her scales. She knew it when she heard birds singing outside the window. She knew it because, unlike the Underground, there was a day and night.

But _Asgore_ wasn't around to help make it matter. Cause nothing mattered.

Undyne took and let out a slow breath of air. It was the most she felt she moved all day, or yesterday, or the day before. Like it mattered at all. None of it mattered.

Being able to lift boulders didn't save _Asgore_. Being able to run miles in seconds did save _Asgore_. Being able to beat humans didn't even save _Asgore_.

Nothing saved him, so nothing mattered. How could anything matter if he wasn't there.

Short answer? Nothing did.

**_BANG_ **

Especially not the pinkette coming back from wherever. Undyne heard her march across the room and towards the bed. She'd probably talk so more, like it mattered. Even though it didn't.

The punk was standing over her, probably. Undyne didn't bother to check, it wouldn't matter if she was. She did that before, and most of yesterday too. Wasn't like it would change anything, nothing could.

"Undyne…" the pinkette started to talk again. Undyne was used to hearing her name being said like that now. Between the pinkette and Siesta before, it was just how it was. Didn't matter enough to change.

The only thing that mattered enough to try and change couldn't be changed.

"I… I-I know you might not be listening to me. And I'm… I'm not _foolish_ enough to pretend to not understand why." And yet she was still trying. Why'd she bother?

Undyne didn't care enough to think on it. The human could waste her breath.

"But I've just received… _grave_ news." Great, more bad stuff. Didn't matter. Nothing would matter nearly as much as _Asgore_. "In truth I-I learned of it the day before, but the entire night debating on telling you."

Awesome. Undyne still didn't care. The pinkette could say the tower had collapsed and she still wouldn't care. _Asgore_ was gone. Why would anything else matter without him?

"Siesta is gone, Undyne."

…

What? Where'd she go? Don't… no-not someone else.

"I spent the day inquiring from _willing_ Plebeians, learning all that I could." The pinkette was breathing slowly, talking slowly. Why was Undyne focusing on that. "I have learned her contract was purchased from the Academy."

"Contract?" Derflinger spoke from some wall in the room. Undyne had never checked where he was. She heard his hilt creak with his voice. "Didn't know ya had contracts-fer-hire. Thought those only got used for mercs on the road."

"Contracts are used to ensure the safety of commoners whilst working for nobles." Undyne didn't believe that. But she didn't care about that. She didn't care about anything… _except_ Siesta. "And hers was purchased by a neighboring count."

Count, that sounded weird. Undyne didn't care about that though. Her eyes shut tighter and a low growl crawled from her throat. Her chest felt tight, like it had the past two days. Tight, but different. She didn't like it, she hated it as much as she hated the past two days.

"I have little respect for the man, Mott that is. I know him to be a messenger for the Princess, frequenting the Academy and nearby towns." That didn't matter, at all. Undyne only cared about Siesta. What about Siesta?

"How's all that affect the Siesta chick?" Derflinger asked again. Undyne could hear his rusted parts squeaking with effort. "Seems like he ain't got a lot of uses for a maid if all he does is run from A to B. And believe me, I know the 'mportance of a straight line."

Bad pun. Bad time and bad rhyme. Undyne didn't care thought. It was a question the pinkette was going to have to answer.

"Your… inquiry aside, Count Mott does have a home." Louise spoke again. "And this is hardly new behavior for him." What did that mean? What did the pinkette mean?

She felt the brat put her hands on her scales, gripping her hand like it was supposed to keep her calm. She wasn't going anywhere. Oh… it was to keep the pinkette calm. Undyne didn't care if it did or didn't, she just wanted to know about Siesta.

"Count Mott… is viewed unfavorably by the other royal houses, from my own, to Guiche, and even the Germanian Cow's." That didn't matter. "He has a habit of speaking verbosely despite any credible skill to his name." That also didn't matter.

"Got anything good ta say 'bout this guy?" Derflinger asked again. "Cause otherwise, sounds like a nice guy." Sarcasm, bad sarcasm. Undyne didn't care thought. She didn't care about anything… except for _Siesta_.

"The commoners he employs… are… often, well… bargained."

Undyne didn't care it took the pinkette so long. She cared she didn't know what bargained meant for Siesta. Alphys's robot bargained, for TV time and money. The Temmies did that all the time in their village, for money.

The hell did you bargain a human for? _That_ Undyne cared about.

"Huh," Derf spoke with a rusty voice. "Ya know, speakin' as a well smelted blade, ya think doin' that kind of stuff often woulda put someone in the _hot_ seat." Another bad pun Undyne didn't care about.

"I loathe to admit it, but he is an example of a noble that holds no honor to his name." The pinkette was still holding Undyne's hands.

If it got her to talk, Undyne didn't care. She didn't care either way. She didn't even care the human was gripping her hand tightly. Well, tightly for the punk. Undyne didn't really care.

"Count Mott is oft known to let others have or… _entertain_ the Plebeians in his employ for favors or trinkets of other nobles." Undyne felt her breath start to get heavy. Even more than her sigh a few minutes ago. "It is why his staff is in constant need of new… workers."

Undyne cared about that. Tremendously.

She had felt nothing for days, nothing that mattered. Nothing mattered. But this, this mattered. And the pinkette was doing nothing but telling her how much it did. And Undyne, even without _Asgore_ , knew how much it did.

"So, the maid's in trouble, huh?" Derflinger asked again. "A regular damsel in distress. Thinkin' we should let this go? Like the rest of tha' noble stuff?" Undyne felt a spark of a flame at the question.

Would _Asgore_ let that happen? Would he let any monster be treated like that? Would he just let it go because some stupid law said they could?

The questions alone were making Undyne care. They were making her care because they were about _Asgore_. They were about her king, her leader, her teacher, her… mentor. They were about the monster that had pretty much raised her.

Would he ever abandon a monster, a friend, or a family member in need?

The question alone was enough to fill Undyne with resolve. Resolve, and the feeling these humans on the surface lacked.

No. _Asgore_ wouldn't. So _Undyne_ wouldn't either.

Neither of them would ever abandon a friend. Asgore was the king to keep the hope of the Underground alive. He gave up his family just to make sure everyone could wake up with a smile on their face.

She was the Royal Guard that swore to fulfill everyone's hopes _and_ dreams. That meant she wouldn't let alone get hurt, anyone even closer to her. They could depend on her through thick and thin, just like the hero she was.

Undyne was the hero of the Underground. And to prove it, she started to do what she hadn't done for two entire days.

Undyne started to get out of bed.

"Undyne?" The pinkette spoke her name, more breathlessly than the last million times she'd heard it. That was fine. "Undyne, a-are you going… you're getting up?" Not really the time for stupid questions.

"Looks like it," Derflinger answered from across the room. Yeah, that was cool. He could talk for her. "And hell if I'm not on board for this." Of course they were.

But Undyne wasn't doing it for them.

A _friend_ of hers was in trouble. Someone who depended on her, who looked up to her, who tried to help her, and smiled around her. That was a friend. And if there was ever one thing _Asgore_ told her was important, it was friends.

"You don't abandon your friends, no matter what."

Undyne whispered _Asgore's_ words as she pushed herself on the bed.

Everything was sore. She gritted her teeth and forced out a pocket of air. Of course they were sore. She didn't do anything for like _two_ days. Undyne was usually jittery after just two minutes of doing nothing.

"U-Undyne! _Wait!_ " What'd the twerp want her to wait for? She was just getting her legs over the side of the bed. She couldn't help Siesta lying down, dammit! "You're doing too much too quickly! I-I've heard stories from my mother about soldiers being wounded a-and-"

"I'm not 'wounded', dang it." Undyne kinda wanted to yell, but that required a lubricated throat. Her was parched and dry. Her palms settled on the edge of the bed as her boots hit the floor. Huh, it felt kinda heavy.

"Hold this moment!" The pinkette barked again, like a puppy. Undyne was all set to ignore her again, with days of practice. But what the punk did next made it a little harder.

Specifically, the brat trying to help her help. Undyne narrowed her good eye at her.

"H-Hey, don't look at me like that!" The punk yelled back. _That_ was more painful than just getting, how loud the pinkette was. "You've been mourning for days are getting up all at once! I-I'm… I'm worried about you, okay?" Hard to argue with that.

"Yeah," Undyne just let out. She didn't have time for this. She _realized_ she didn't have time for this.

Even as she got to her feet, struggling with her balance. Even as she stood to her tallest, back cracking in protest. Even as she worked her jaw, gurgling spit in her throat. Even through all of that, Undyne realized what was going on.

Her _friend_ was in trouble, _because_ she was mourning and moping.

 _Asgore_ never would've allowed that.

"Not so fast. I said not so fast!" The pinkette looked like she was trying to push against Undyne. Funny, cause even with a body that felt like sludge, the punk was still a human, weak one at that.

And she was Undyne, the Captain of the Royal Guard.

…

That was what she was.

The title stuck in her head as she walked past the pinkette, boots beating the ground as she got closer to Derflinger. If the sword had eyes, she'd bet they were staring up at her. Least he wasn't cracking a joke right now.

"I'm Undyne, Captain of the Royal Guard," Undyne spoke the words slowly, memorizing them.

She _was_ Undyne of the Royal Guard.

"I serve to protect everyone close to me. I protect their hopes _and_ their dreams."

She twisted Derflinger until he was strapped to her back, the strap of his sheath around her shoulders. Her golden eyes stared at the pinkette, the human looking back at her. The brat looked funny, really, but Undyne wasn't about to mock a friend, especially not one trying to help her. That wouldn't be cool.

"I just lost probably the most _important_ person to me in the freakin' world." She saw _Asgore_ again. She saw him and felt his hand on her shoulder, like he did after all their training.

He wasn't there though, not really, but he would _definitely_ want her to do what she was going to do next.

"And it's gonna be a hot day in Snowdin before I lose another friend." She watched the punk's eyes pretty much sparkle at her words. The smile was what sailed the deal.

Undyne turned away from her, pushing the door out of her way. Really didn't matter that she heard the stone crack when she did that. They'd have to make that stuff tougher next time.

"Excellent! Perfect, wonderful!" The girl yelled as she followed behind her. "I know precisely where the maid was moved to! Kirche, the cow, told me all about the Count and-" Right idea, wrong track.

"Sorry punk, but I've got somethin' else to grab first." She heard the human stop for a moment, but quickly followed behind her. She also saw a student walking ahead of them jump into his room as she walked by. Guess she was still scary without her armor.

"Oh, of course, your armor," the pinkette answered for herself, probably. Had to be, Undyne didn't have a question. "I suppose if we are to negotiate a release with the count, it would be heavily advantageous to show an acceptable level of intimidation so we can-"

"The armor's good, but it's not what I need." Undyne heard Derf chuckle. He got it at least, pretty on point… Undyne chuckled a bit to herself at that.

"Oh, um… I'm confused then," the punk caught up to her, walking by her side down the stairs. Another kid saw them and ran away. These humans looked like they had everything _but_ a bit of determination. "What else do you need? I-I can provide food and water."

Undyne didn't say anything back. Really, there wasn't much she could say. Any answer she gave probably would've just set the brat off, and she did not need to deal with a whiny punk again. Least not right now.

Siesta was in trouble, she was taken away to some human that apparently no other humans liked. That was like the bad side of bad, plenty of reason to get back her friend. And Undyne would save her.

There wasn't much that mattered, not anymore. But Siesta, she did matter.

Undyne was going to save her. She knew she had to.

* * *

Louise was going to help her. She knew she had to.

The very fact that Undyne was moving at all was a sign of progress. Louise would do nothing to stop this milestone in her recovery. That was why she did little more than follow Undyne to the Vault Tower. It was why she didn't question Undyne's decision to head towards the vault.

And it was why she didn't ask what more the monster needed. The answer terrified her.

Her feet tapped against the stone, ruined only days before. Undyne's boots stomped in turn, taking two steps for every one Louise took. It was nothing short of a miracle blessed by the Founder that kept them from being seen so far.

Too many servants diddly in the mess hall. Too many students enjoying the later mornings. Too many professors taking turn in the labs and experiments. And too few guards to keep watch over the vault.

"So, what're we thinkin'?" Derflinger asked from Undyne's back. Louise gave the blade her attention, its non-present eyes doubtlessly on her. "Just gonna grab what we need, skip on over to this noble fella, and give a bad night?" How did it expect her to answer such a question?

"I haven't an idea of what will be done." Louise knew better than to lie. It was unbecoming of a noble. "I only know the severity of what is being done through our inaction. So, action must be taken." It was a simple rule her father had instilled in her.

Her mother was the one to prove its worth.

"And I will follow Undyne through whatever she chooses," Louise spoke again, though the monster didn't even turn to look back at her. Her mane of red only continued to sway behind her, a line of red across her otherwise blue scales and darker attire.

"Hey, I'm all on board for this," Derf spoke up, its cheery attitude always a harsh contrast to its rusty voice. "I'd just be watchin' out fer someone with the wrong idea, seein' Undyne walkin' all tall, dark, and menacing. Heh, if ay get _point_." Louise almost appreciated the puns.

Almost being the operative word to her thought.

Said thoughts were pushed aside when she recognized the new stone of the tower's outer wall. They were approaching the vault now. Louise felt her resolve shake as they approached. She knew whatever Undyne's intentions were, they would not be seen kindly by the professors or Headmaster.

Her eyes watched the monster the further they walked, marching up the stairs towards the vault. Undyne didn't even hesitate for a moment with her steps. Nothing so far even slowed her. Louise watched her back and followed suit, even as they took the final step and came to the Vault's landing.

And face to face with the guards stationed.

"Halt!" One immediately called, but Undyne saw him waver just as quickly. She could hardly fault him. For whatever a guard would expect, a monster was not something typically trained to face.

Let alone one that took your orders like the wind. Louise could only watch as Undyne marched past them, stopping only when she was face to face with the grand vault. Louise couldn't' even see her good eye.

"I-I said stop! The vault is restricted to…" the guard's words wavered as Undyne twisted her head towards him. Louise could not fault him, or her. "Restricted… to…" Undyne turned back to face the vault.

Louise held her breath at the stairwell, still unsure on what to do. She swore her oath to Undyne, to help her as was needed. But if this was a test, it was far too much too quickly. But, as her mother would say, the orders of the present mattered more than the commands of the past.

"Stop or-!" The guard spoke and stopped again, his partner following suit. Louise only raised her hands to her ears. She had to with what she saw.

Undyne was raising her boot. The inevitable was to happen next.

**_BOOM_ **

Like a cannon's fire, Undyne kicked the door to the vault. And like paper amid a hurricane, the door was blown away.

Louise pushed her hands closer to her head, willing the tremendous booms and crashing from the Vault to mute themselves. She had little success. The guards, by their barely audible screaming, had similar results. Undyne did little to defend herself.

"Heh, guess I'll say it," Derflinger spoke from Undyne's back. Louise barely heard him. "Knock knock." She truly wished she hadn't heard him.

With as much hesitation as she displayed thus far. Undyne stepped into the vault, by stepping over the remains of the door. If Louise wasn't so sure of Undyne's ludicrous strength, she might have been put off by the display.

Now, the speed of the monster's actions only offset her. The Rule of Steel couldn't tell her what to do.

" _Hey!_ Ma'am, are you all right?" Louise felt her head shake, looking at one of the guards. He was bent over like he was ready to run, but his helm focused on her. Oh… he must not have realized.

"Forget about her," the other guard yelled back. "We've got to stop _her!_ "

"Stop _that!_ That's the thing that took out Fouquet! We've got no chance!" Louise wasn't sure if she should be proud or mortified by the address.

_Bang_

A deep noise echoed from inside the Vault. Louise felt her blood chill. She recognized that sound. She had heard it only a few days ago… before everything happened.

"You hear that? We have to do something at least!" The guards were yelling again, doubtlessly about the noise. Louise kept herself quiet.

This was happening much faster than she anticipated. _Much_ faster than she believed.

"What is happening here!" And now the young noble was confused and _mortified_.

Louise turned to see the Headmaster approached from the higher staircase, Ms. Longueville following behind him. His eyes were wide and trained on her, but only after they observed the wreckage that was the Vault, again.

"Headmaster!" the guards addressed in practiced unison. Only one followed up with a one-sided explanation. "The monster Undyne has infiltrated the Vault! We were unable to detain her." Louise would not correct their inability to even slow her. That would be adding embers to a flame.

Headmaster Osmond did not answer immediately. Instead, his eyes trained on Louise, narrowed and thoughtful. Both hands gripped his staff as he walked towards her. She dare not move, for fear of being struck.

She knew the truth of the situation. She wasn't blind. No title of her family justified her actions. Her actions justified whatever the Headmaster chose to do.

"Ms. Longueville, secure the room," he spoke with a nod of his head. The secretary followed his command, waving a wand to manipulate the stone. In hardly a breadth of time, a wall was built around the hole of the Vault.

Louise knew it mattered little to nothing. Undyne lived Underground. A lack of light wouldn't phase her, and she had proven a dozen times over no wall of magic or might could stop her. The remains of the vault were proof enough of that.

"Louise, is it true that Undyne is in the Vault?" She had to shake her head lightly, focusing on the Headmaster's words. Her lips were parted, mind racing, but she had to correct herself.

She was a noble, an ambassador for her kingdom to Undyne's. Fear and inaction were not to be allowed.

"It is," she spoke. It was a miracle of the Founder the breathlessness of her voice didn't carry. "But she did not assault anyone."

"It was pretty clear what she was going to do to us if we didn't _jump_ out of the way." One of the guards spoke. Louise glared at him, his helm hiding any expression, the coward. She gave him ample time to move. "And she spoke of no permissions before destroying the vault door."

The Headmaster nodded at the words, to which Louise felt her own die in her throat. He turned towards her, leaning on his cane. Louise could see Headmaster Osmond's mouse resting on the top of it, like it was watching her, too. She swallowed on nothing.

"Ms. Valliere, do you know why Undyne is doing this?" He asked calmly, even with the hectic situation around him. Even with Ms. Longueville holding the wall, even with the guards appearing prepared to jump at a moment's notice, he was calm.

Louise _had_ to be that. The Rule of Steel couldn't tell her what to do. He oversaw her academic career. Angering him would do no benefit to Undyne… or her family.

"I… I gave her news that a co- _friend_ of hers has been relocated for work." Louise did her utmost to keep her breathing even. "The servant Siesta had her contract purchased by Count Mott and… Undyne is not pleased." She already knew how the conversation sounded to a stranger's ears.

"Undyne is breaking and entering the Tristian Vault out of _anger?_ " Ms. Longueville questioned, even as she continued to wave her wand before the wall. She was likely strengthening it. Her eyes, however, couldn't be sharper.

Louise could testify to it as the secretary's gaze was focused on her.

"For what purpose is she doing this? Spite? Anger? Is she attempting to steal back the commoner?" They were all questions Louise had herself. As such, she couldn't answer them. But she had to try. A failure to speak was an admittance of fault.

"No. No!" Louise replied, strengthening her voice. "Nothing of the sort! Sh-She is gathering her armor a-a-and I am traveling _with_ her to Count Mott's estate to _negotiate_ the contract!" She strung as many strings together as she could.

"Am I to assume you are bringing force to a peaceful talk?" The Headmaster spoke again. Louise bit and released her lip. "Count Mott is a Triangle Class mage, and he will not take threats lightly. Further, admitting to your ideas now seems like a poor lapse in judgement."

" _We're_ not going to threaten him!" Louise shouted back now. She swung her harm with the words, realizing only afterwards it was the headmaster she was yelling at.

But she realized in the same time she couldn't stop now.

"Undyne is collecting her armor from the vault! She's the only one capable of moving it a-and she wasn't leaving with it!" That was true, Undyne said it was true even. The problem was, she said she wanted something else.

And Louise remembered very clearly the sound of the dull boom from the Vault.

"Ah! You're all here!" A new voice interjected. Louise turned, already knowing who it was. Professor Colbert, glasses nearly slipping from his nose rushed up the steps behind her. "Good, _excellent!_ Pardon my tardiness, but I had to assure the students below before coming… up…" His words trailed off as they settled on the wall Ms. Longueville continued to support.

Louise stepped away from him. She couldn't be near him. She trusted him, whole heartedly, but he was loyal to the Headmaster Osmond.

She'd be trapped between them. The Rule of Steel told her what to do.

"Colbert," the Headmaster spoke. "Have you any information regarding Undyne's people?" Louise whipped her head to then from him. That was a grand question.

The professor's look of dejection was the opposite.

"Ugh, yes… and no, mostly no," he responded cryptically, reaching into his robes as he did so. A small journal was produced, one he quickly flipped through as he balanced his own staff in the crux of his arm.

Louise only realized in the small window of silence how quiet Undyne was in the Vault. It was so unlike the monster she had summoned only a mere week ago.

"I haven't found any clear reference to the geological areas described by Sir Derflinger in our previous conversations, and that is due to the poor understanding of the Fae lands." That was a poor place to start.

It only got worse.

"Further, with the new knowledge that there may be lapses in time as distance as centuries, it is extremely difficult if not impossible to determine possible locations for the Underground." It made sense, but it was the worst kind of sense.

"I see," the Headmaster responded. Louise looked back at him. Her chest felt tight. "The loss of a king, the loss of her home, and now the loss of a friend." It was no question who he was summarizing, to anyone.

"Yes, now, if I may inquire, what is happening?" Professor Colbert pocketed his journal and turned eyes back to the stone wall being formed by Ms. Longueville. Louise wasn't sure how well it would keep Undyne out. "I have a theory but… I'm reluctant to guess without information."

"Undyne of the Underground has broken into Tristian Academy's Vault," Ms. Longueville spoke without a bat of her eye. The guards stood beside her as she continued to weave her magic through her wand, waving it with wordless spells. "As such, I am building a cell to prevent her escape."

"Undyne did _wait?_ " Louise took some, if minimal, comfort in the professor's surprise. "What? Why? How? Sh-she was bed-ridden only a day ago!" Arms spread and eyes wide, he appeared no more accepting of the time than Louise herself.

"Her friend may be in danger," the Headmaster returned. Louise felt removed from the conversation. She felt no desire to return to it. "And I believe-"

**_BOOM! BOOM!_ **

Louise ducked head and screamed as the wall Ms. Longueville built shattered like glass.

She heard chunks of stone slamming into the wall behind her, falling down the stairs, colliding with one another, and obliterating on impact. She was caught in a storm of stone and explosions, and without a way out. The impacting stone deafened her screams.

But as was typical for explosions, many of her own, the dust settled quickly. It left her with hands on her head and panting deep breaths of air. Her cloak stuck to her visible skin, sweat seeping into the fabric.

She could hear the professor asking if anyone was all right, she could hear the guards' denial, she could hear Ms. Longueville's confirmation, but Louise didn't care about any of those. She only cared about what she saw.

Louise only cared about the monster stepping through the wall.

Undyne, armor clad, sword on back, and _Lance_ in hand.

Like their first meeting, bare a week ago, Undyne looked the part of a monster. Her black armor outlined by the shadows of the Vault behind her. Red holes in her helm to see, golden glow to accent the red. Standing amidst the rubble of a magic enforced wall.

And holding the lance of her liege, holding the _Staff of Destruction_.

Louise stared at the monster, her familiar, and her fellow ambassador. There were a hundred thoughts flying through her mind and dozens of questions. But she didn't have the breath to speak them all. And here she thought she'd be used to explosions by now.

"Undyne," Louise heard the Headmaster speak. She turned to see him already standing close to the wall, not a crumb of stone near him. He was a square-class wind mage. "I'm pleased to see you are walking again."

And again, the Headmaster's ability astonished Louise, to speak so easily despite the terror of the situation. He was even stroking his beard as he spoke. Undyne didn't speak in return. Louise didn't really expect her to, not after the past few days.

"But, I would be remiss to not point out my disappointment as well." His cane leaned towards her side, towards the obvious red lance in her hand. "The staff does belong to-"

"It ain't yours." Louise heard Undyne _growl_ through her helm. The Rule of Steel couldn't tell her what to do.

"And I understand your reason for believing such," Headmaster Osmond smoothly recovered. "It did belong to your king. It is obvious to see why you have more merit to it than we do."

"Good to hear it," Undyne spoke as bluntly as ever, stepping through the remains of the stone wall Ms. Longueville had produced.

As was usual for her staunch armor, the ground shook as her boots met the stone. The lance was held by her side as she walked, Derflinger silent on her back. Standing to her tallest, she was heads above the Headmaster. It was hardly a question who was more intimidating.

With her king's lance, it was just as easy to tell who was more threatening.

"You do realize that if you wished to see the staff again, you only had to speak to me, correct?" The Headmaster continued to ask. Louise could not guess his game. She only knew better then to interfere with it. "I told you before that it was your right to handle such."

"Yeah, ya did," Undyne agreed again. "But I've gotta go, I'm not leavin' much behind."

Those words carried a horrible weight to Louise.

"Then am I to inquire if you are taking the _Staff of Destruction_ to Count Mott?" Ms. Longueville interjected now. Louise did not miss her raised wand. "Are you committing to thievery?"

Even with her helm worn, Louise knew her partner enough to know what she'd say next. She also knows how damning it would be. She could not stay silent.

"It is not thievery!" All heads, and Undyne's helm, turned to her. She was panting still, from the explosion, the run, and the screaming. But Louise knew she couldn't stop. "As the ambassador to the Kingdom of the Underground, Undyne is privileged to all items originating from her Kingdom that were not carried forth in a sanctioned trade."

Books had taught her that, lessons she had taken upon herself in the days past to prepare for her coming days as an ambassador. Studying was always something she excelled in. It was required to reach the perfection demanded by her family.

"That is… true," Headmaster Osmond returned. Louise grinned, but with still tight fists and a stiff posture. "However, I feel no court nor even her majesty will agree the destruction of property as a reasonable means to acquire such items, especially without consult."

"Further, waving said weapon so brazenly is a clear threat." Louise had to remind herself that Ms. Longueville was referring to the lance of Undyne's liege, and not her own wand. "You must release the staff to us until council confirms you can have it."

"No," Undyne responded almost immediately. Louise could _hear_ the metal of her gauntlets tighten around it. "I'm not givin' up Asgore's Lance for anything. Same way you're not stoppin' me from leaving."

This was all happening too fast. _Far_ too fast. Louise had only wanted to motivate Undyne, not begin a confrontation with the Academy!

"You are leaving then?" Professor Colbert now. She could hear the uncertainty in his voice. She had that, too. "But-But I have yet to finish researching your kingdom's position in the Fae lands! A-and we have so much to discuss regarding your magical capabilities, monstrous physique, armor's craftsmanship details, and so much more!"

"Yeah, that's sad," Undyne's voice echoed from her helm. It twisted to Professor Colbert, red eyes gleaming. Louise felt a bit unsure under the gaze, and it wasn't even focused on her. "Ya know what else is sad? Thinking you can stop me from leavin'."

Louise saw the guards raise their spears at the threat. It was a threat. Louise knew it was a threat. Ms. Longueville knew it was a threat. Everyone did. Threats amidst discussion were always bad, as her mother would say.

They were always the first step to conflict. The Rule of Steel told her what to do.

"Wait!" Louise interjected as she stepped forward from the wall. She felt all eyes on her before she even managed her second step. "Please hold! This is all a… great misunderstanding!" It wasn't untrue. Louise felt loss enough to say the words honestly.

"A monster is stealing one of the most powerful magical items in Tristian, to assumingly attack a noble whom has broken no laws and is royal to the crown." Ms. Longueville summarized the situation with horribly acute accuracy. "Where does the _misunderstanding_ exist?"

Undyne only shifted in her armor, adjusting the red-streaked lance of her king. Louise, despite her better judgement, could not help but feel a spark of relief for Undyne's cold mindset. If the normally hot-blooded warrior was still here, she likely would have started and ended a fight with the professors of the Academy.

But that only meant Louise had to speak, and speak quickly. She had to take charge as her mother would before a court, or her father before nobles, or her sister before her groom.

Louise had to be as strong as her namesake, or else her title was worth naught.

"The Princess…" Louise began, naming the only soul aside from the Headmaster and the Maid who had pity for Undyne. "The Princess spoke of the items in the safe belonging to Undyne." She was not sure of her words.

"Did she?" Louise heard Professor Colbert question. The Headmaster only rolled his head to the side.

"No, she did not," Ms. Longueville deftly countered. "Or else I would have made note of it." Louise saw the tip of her wand drift between her and Undyne. It was a truly unnerving thing to see.

"She did!" Louise pushed again. "Princess Henrietta spoke of it in my quarters!" That was a lie. "She claimed that the death of Undyne's liege was a tragedy, and returning his belongings to a member of his kingdom was the least Tristian could do for a foreign noble!"

Louise did her utmost to ignore the shifting of Undyne's helm. She was already lying, so it was easier to do. Where one falsehood was made, others swiftly followed.

"If… if you believe me to be lying, then you can inquire from the Princess herself." That would take time, and she knew it. So, logically, Ms. Longueville knew it. "O-Or you can ask inquire from any of my professors! I would never lie, for the shame it would bring my family!"

Louise truly never would have lied, before. The Rule of Steel would have told her as much. But now she had to, or else the Rules would damn a monster that had a mission. She would not stop a warrior fueled by her heart.

Silence took over after her words, a dry air that left the ground coated in dust. Louise was staring at all eyes that gazed upon her, from the Headmaster to the guards. She watched Professor Colbert and Ms. Longueville, unsure of what either would do.

But what she expected, was what came next.

"I have known Ms. Valliere long enough to know she sees lies as a horrible stain on her family's name." Professor Colbert spoke. "I-It is her most enduring trait, her diligence to studies and commitment to master her magic aside."

Louise looked at her professor again, the older noble adjusting his glasses with an unsure grin. She couldn't tell if it was pride he was showing, or a toddler's attempt to smile in the face of bad news. Both appeared too like her.

But then she heard another voice speak.

"If you wish to leave, you may."

Headmaster Osmond's words were loud as thunder, and just as forceful.

He bowed his head with the statement. Louise could only see it as a sign of defeat. She could just barely hear Undyne give a puff of air from beneath her helm.

"Sir!" Ms. Longueville quickly protested. "You can't allow this! She has the _Staff of Destruction_ and she's the Ga-"

"Only one who knows how to use her kingdom's treasures."

The Headmaster interrupted his secretary with the same smoothness he had the conversation so far. Louise was not sure of much during this altercation, but she was sure of this much.

Whatever it was Ms. Longueville was going to say, it had nothing to do with her king's lance.

"Sir…." Ms. Longueville spoke again, eyes still narrowed and wand raised. Undyne was staring at it, but whatever her thoughts on it, Louise knew the monster saw it as threatening as a normal stick. To her, it likely was. "If she leaves… with the staff, her highness will be furious."

"Then we must ensure there is no reason for Undyne to be a threat to us," he countered he was stroking his beard again, even as he looked up at Undyne. But again, Ms. Longueville was keeping herself from saying something else. What was it?

Undyne was a powerful monster, but what about her made her dangerous enough… to threaten to stay?

"Ya done talkin'?" Undyne asked the pair. Louise looked up at her as well. "Cause I'm leavin' now, kay? I'm not leavin' a friend alone again, and all this talking is just gettin' in my way. That's not somewhere ya want to be right now." Louise had no doubt in the truth of those words.

"Undyne, I… I-I beg you to stay," Professor Colbert spoke once more. He stepped in front of the monster as he did so. "The knowledge we can share with one another. It can be of benefit to both us and your kingdom. That is… surely you see the benefit in it."

Louise was sure of many things regarding Undyne. One of them was the answer the monster would give.

"That don't mean much if I don't have my friends first."

Louise judged correctly. Undyne stepped around him, boots shaking the ground as she marched again.

She was going to leave. Undyne was going to leave and take the lance and Derflinger with her. She was going to leave the Academy and leave her alone.

Undyne… was going to leave her.

"W-Wait, Undyne," she spoke her familiar's name, quickly moving to stand before the monster. The ground ceased its shaking with Undyne.

It left her staring up, heads shorter, at the Captain of the Underground's Royal Guard. The air was thick and stale, like Louise's throat.

"Little punk, don't you try and stop me too." Undyne didn't sound angry or numb. That was what Louise noticed first. Even with red eyes roasting above her and dark armor looming over her, she noticed the words first.

Undyne _truly_ did not want to confront Louise.

"Why?" Louise asked, doing away with thought as she spoke. "Would my words sting worse than theirs? Would I be too easy to dismiss?" She wasn't sure where the swing in her ideas was coming from. She only knew they both had fearful answers.

Louise swallowed on nothing, realizing only after she'd done so how dry her throat was. Perhaps it was the dust from Ms. Longueville's broken wall.

Perhaps it was the realization of the crossroad she was standing before.

"I summoned you here," Louise began to speak, knuckles bunched into the edges of her cape. "You are here because of my magic. I'm the reason you found your king, forced you out of your kingdom, and took you from all your friends."

She hated every word, because every word was true.

"Do you hate me enough to leave me, too?"

"Kid, the last thing I do is hate you."

Louise looked up at the monster, clad in nightmarish mail. The lance of her king was held by her side, the rusted blade of speech was to her back, but she spoke not as a warrior, but as a sage.

"Last thing I want ta do is push ya away." She spoke with as much trepidation as she ever did. None. "But why would ya want to come with me? Undyne spoke down to her.

Louise, with what felt like a punch to the gut, wondered if Undyne knew how damning those words were.

"Siesta's my friend, this is _Asgore's Lance_ ," she made a show of the lance as she spoke. Louise could hear more than see Headmaster Osmond and the others react. "And this is your place, ain't it? You don't have ta worry 'bout me."

She didn't, did she?

The Rule of Steel couldn't tell her what to do.

It was a question, a statement, Louise hadn't even made until now. She really had no reason further to help Undyne beside her word, did she? There was no contract to her name. This was a not a promise to her future, like herself with Wardes.

This was her acting on her own, choosing by herself, to help Undyne. Louise had been acting by her own feelings up till now. And, at worst, through it all…

She had yet to regret it.

"I do not, no," she agreed with Undyne, staring up at the monster without fear. Undyne was a monster, but she was no threat. "But I want to. We made a promise to one another, and a noble is nothing if they cannot prove the worth of their own word."

Undyne stared down at her, eyes invisible through the lens of her helm. She was imposing as ever, clad in nightmarish armor and holding tools of certain death. But Louise felt no fear, not eve as the monster raised her weighty gauntlet.

Not even as Undyne set it on Louise's head.

It felt like a smithy's anvil was hanging above her, held against her by the strength of a giant. She knew it was not a far-off metaphor. But she wasn't afraid, even with certain death just above her. Undyne wouldn't hurt her.

"Yer a good kid, punk." Undyne sounded more like herself than she had in days. "Guess I'll have ta keep you that way."

Her hand fell off her head, its mass slipping from Louise's head without upsetting a strand of her hair. When it was moved, Undyne moved with it. Louise heard and _felt_ the now familiar boot stomp of the monster's armor. She was walking towards the step, the deadly lance in hand. Derflinger was silent on her back.

Professor Colbert watched her go with wide and immobile eyes. It must have been odd for him, as Louise could imagine. And yet, it didn't fully matter right now.

"Were your words honest, Ms. Valliere?"

She turned back towards the Headmaster. He had his staff grasped in both hands, old eyes staring down at her above a long beard. He seemed smaller somehow.

"You are choosing between Undyne and Tristian. You are choosing to risk what you have, for a monster with whom there is no certainty of the future."

It was odd. Odd because the answer wasn't difficult. How could it have been?

Undyne had given her respect amongst her classmates. Her blade had given her a new learning of magic. Her words had given her new Rules to guide her. Her steel was sharper than any commandment her mother gave.

It was odd, truly. If he had asked only minutes earlier. Her answer might have been different.

"I chose _Undyne_ , I and chose her knowing that with her… I have a future."

Louise felt lighter than air.

The Rule of Steel… didn't matter.

"Ms. Valliere?" "Is she serious?" Louise ignored the comments of the Guard and Ms. Longueville. She was focused on Professor Colbert and the Headmaster.

"Louise de La Valliere, think carefully," the Headmaster warned again. It was odd, her words had less weight now. "If you follow Undyne from the tower, I must give notice to Her Majesty of the theft and destruction of the Academy grounds. Your name will be included in the message."

"I am aware, Headmaster," Louise replied again. It was easier to speak now.

It was so much easier to speak with a bit of _determination_.

"But I gave my word to Undyne days ago, that I would do everything I could to assist her in finding her people. If I cannot assist her in time of greatest need, how will she trust me at any other time?" They were not words anyone else told her. They were _her_ words.

"I see…" the Headmaster bowed his head. Be it admittance of her words or acceptance for her actions, it didn't truly matter. It was time to go.

So, Louise turned to leave.

She saw Professor Colbert staring at her, wide eyes focused on her in a way she had never seen him before. He'd looked at Undyne with that gaze, even Tabitha and the other familiars, but never her. She knew why now.

He was impressed with her. It was a feeling she longed to have others feel for her before. But now, she only needed it from one person, and it was not him.

She walked past him with only a nod of her head, pink hair flowing and her smile set.

"Ms. Valliere," she heard the Headmaster speak as she followed Undyne. It took near everything she had to not turn towards him. "I am pleased to see how you have grown." Even with the kind words, she did not turn towards him.

"Headmaster?" Louise heard Ms. Longueville question, but she still didn't turn.

Undyne was leaving, and she followed.

"I can tell you will become a grand mage one day, Louise."

Now she stopped.

She stopped to breath, to roll the words over in her head. She turned them around, checked the dictation of the vowels, and made sure there was no mockery in the Headmaster's tone. She found none. He either spoke honestly, or lied fluidly.

But it still didn't matter if he had or hadn't.

Undyne was leaving, and Louise followed.

She didn't hear either Professor Colbert, Headmaster Osmond, or even Ms. Longueville follow. She had expected the guards to. She didn't hear any of the guards, commoner or mage, attempt to follow as she walked past them. She didn't hear anything until she breached the doorway of the tower.

Outside, it became apparent Undyne's reentry to the vault was anything but unheard. The students had already made breadth for the monster, walking past them with helm forward and armor clanging. She was as intimidating now as her first appearance in the courtyard.

It took only a moment until Louise followed behind her, quickening her pace to reach the monster. Only a few steps and she felt the eyes of the other students on her. But not just the children of nobles, but also commoners and guards among their ranks.

The guardsman had attempted to move to the front, evidenced by the militant eye her mother had given her. But they had stopped short of the front of the crowd, likely once they saw who it was that had caused the commotion.

Louise was in the middle of them all when the whispers began. At least, when she began to hear them.

"What's the monster doing?" "Monster? What about Louise?" "Is that the Staff of Destruction?" "Where are they going?" "No idea, but it has to be sanctioned, right?" "It has to be. Otherwise it's theft, right? Like Fouquet?"

 _Like Fouquet?_ … Louise bit her tongue hard at the accusation. She and Undyne were as far from the monster of a thief as humanly, and inhumanly, possible. They were recovering her people's tools to help a friend. Fouquet was a greedy and likely disgraced noble.

The similarities began and ended at zero. At the title that used to be her own.

"Must have been assigned another task." "Yes, that has to be it. They must have met with the Headmaster." "Or maybe Professor Colbert found something." "Could be anything, but… I don't know." "But wasn't that the Staff of Destruction?" "Louise?"

Louise turned her head as she heard her voice. Her eye settled on Kirche, the flaming Germanian looking back at her. With wide eyes and crossed arms, she clearly expected anything but this from her. Louise didn't care. Zerbst had helped… but she didn't owe an explanation.

Next to her was Tabitha, the only student to summon an even comparable familiar. Her eyes were not on a book, but on her as well. She was resigned, maybe, but Louise did not care enough to check. Undyne was what mattered, not two students who had offered as much respect to her as a they did a commoner.

She turned back towards Undyne, seeing that she had nearly caught up to the monster. Her boots had left deep indentations in the ground, not to mention a wider area from the other students. She reached the monster in time for the gate to the Academy.

Without warning or pause, Undyne lifted her hand and pushed against the gate.

It swung open as if struck by a cannon ball. A few students shrieked at the sudden boom.

At least the days of inactivity had done little to dull Undyne's strength.

"Louise." She heard her name being spoken again. She turned, wondering who it could be now.

Her eyes settled on Guiche, the one noble to have witnessed Undyne's magic, both at the tip of her spears and behind her armor. He wasn't giving chase to them, at least not anymore. He was separated enough from the rest of the students to make it clear he had followed them further.

"Is this… have you been asked for another task?" He asked her looking at her, then over her shoulder to Undyne. It reminded Louise to keep her answers short and quick. She couldn't be separated from the monster.

"In a way, we have." Louise spoke honestly. They were given a task, but Undyne herself. Guiche nodded at the words.

"I see," he smiled, doubtlessly assuming some falsehood. If it gave him comfort and gave Louise an opportunity to leave earlier, she wouldn't spoil it. "Well, when you return, please seek me out. Paris gave mention he finished the stance for Undyne's armor, and I have personally paid to have it delivered soon."

It wasn't guilt that lightly bloomed in Louise's chest. Hardly. It was merely pity for the noble boy, a general's son without a real battle to his name. His naivety could be benefited from their absence.

"I will be sure to remember that… when we return." Louise held tongue to correct her words. Not if, when. When they returned. If would raise too many questions.

"My sincerest thanks, Ms. Valliere," Guiche spoke with a low bow, rose in hand and arms extended. "It will be my privilege to welcome you and Undyne of the Underground back from your mission. If you need anything from me while you are away, I am only ever a letter's distance from aide."

It still wasn't guilt. The pity had only grown. Guiche was only dull in mind, but what a blunt side to his self was it. But Louise had wasted enough time talking to a noble looking for kind words. Undyne was moving, and Louise promised she wouldn't be far behind.

"Then farewell, Guiche," Louise quickly noted as she turned away, pulling her cloak tighter to her back. Her wand pushed against her side, but it was more comforting, a reminder that it was still hers.

"And may the Founder give speed and protection to your travels!" Guiche returned. Louise did not look back.

She raced ahead to meet up with Undyne, the monster's armor still clanking as she walked. Though they were friend, though Undyne was anything but negative towards Louise, the young noble was still deeply intimidated by the monster. Who wouldn't be offset by a creature several heads taller and wearing armor darker than a starless night?

"Hey, pinky, where we off to?" Derflinger spoke from Undyne's back. He was hardly noticeable, another piece of metal on the otherwise jutting steel of armor. His rusty voice was unmistakable. "Don't forget, it _rapiers_ to be you're the only one with directions." He let out a bark of laughter, metallic as his voice.

With how horrible a pun he still forced, Louise have hoped it gave him a bit of pain. But she doubted it.

"We follow the road ahead, and take the left fork for a quarter of a league's length." Louise began. She remembered the instructions from the kitchen staff, the cook saying he had delivered food to the Count on twice an occasion. "The count's estate is closer to others, but still recognizable by his name."

Louise couldn't name a noble family that allowed their home to be even possibly confused with another. Her mother had commissioned a square class water mage to prepare a lake bed next to their home for the sole purpose of being distinguished. Count Mott could not be different, refinement aside.

"So, if I may inquire, what are we to do when we arrive?" Louise asked Undyne. The monster's helm still hadn't so much as glanced at her. Perhaps she was focused… or perhaps she was still recovering. "Are we going to speak of our claim to Siesta first? Or our status as-"

"I'm gonna tear down the gate, kick open the door, and tell the human ta give Siesta back." Louise almost tripped over her own feet. "Simple as that."

Simple was a word for it. Stupidity was another. But unavoidable also found a place within the description. Undyne was the monster that lifted Tabitha's dragon for fun, before intimidating a crowd with her shouts. This was far from unexpected, just not appreciated.

Maybe, perhaps, when this was all done, when Undyne had reconciled the death of her liege, Louise would be able to speak to the princess. It may be the only chance she had to beg for forgiveness for what was to come.

"Hey." Louise head jerked up at Undyne's voice. "You sure you don't wanna stay back? Bet you got a lot more to lose then I do." She could taste the sympathy and the pity. It disgusted her.

"I swore I would be the ambassador to _your_ people that would bring our kingdoms together." Louise fire back, straightening herself as she hurried forward. Undyne easily kept pace with her. "It does not begin and end with the first hurdle."

She heard the monster make some noise beneath her helm. Maybe it was laughter, likely not. Louise ignored it as she pushed forward. They had a small journey ahead of them, and she was not going to-

"Wha!" Louise shrieked as she was lifted off the ground.

"Ugh!" She let out as she was placed on Undyne's shoulder guard.

Louise's head looked around quickly, her hands tightening on the pauldrons of Undyne's dark armor till her skin was white. Her legs locked themselves under the monster's arm. She was high, _much_ higher than normal. It was making her stomach twist.

"Just get comfortable, kay?" Undyne spoke again. Louise never saw her helm so much as twist. "Gotta walk to do, and I'm gonna need you awake for it."

Louise only nodded her head. There was little use in arguing semantics with the monster now. There was a walk to be had… and it was impossible to say she would be anything but exhausted now.

"Not have bad, huh?" Derflinger's rusted voice spoke to Louise now. She twisted to see the blade peaking from his sheath. "Least yer not bein' carried like that lance. That'd be uncomfortable, least for a human." He wasn't wrong…

But Louise did not answer. She merely sucked in another deep breath of air, righting her equilibrium from her new… perch. It was odd and wholly unexpected. Not just Undyne's help, but her departure from the Magic Academy.

And yet, she never attempted to stop Undyne's march. She knew better than to stop a warrior with a cause. Not even the Headmaster had tried to stop hers.

Louise smiled, getting comfortable on Undyne's shoulder. She felt her future ahead her, and it was bright.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

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	16. You See A Creep In The Water

"I believe we are close," the pinkette spoke besides Undyne. She gave the human a glance, seeing her eyes trained forward. Aside from that, she was gripping her cloak pretty darn tight. Must've been cold, but Undyne couldn't tell.

Undyne's armor continued to clank as they walked down the dirt path. It was kinda of unfair to call it that, seeing as it had at least some cobblestone on it. Kind of like the outside of the Ruins back in the Underground. Still, basically meant they weren't walking through some old part of the forest anymore.

It didn't matter, not really. If they were getting close, that mattered. Cause that meant they were getting closer to Siesta, saving her from the human that took her.

Undyne clenched _Asgore's Lance_ as they walked, the metal of her gauntlets squeaking under the force. That didn't matter. The metal her armor was made of was strong, and like a calm Papyrus was Undyne going to break anything that belonged to _Asgore._

"You sure 'bout that kid?" Derflinger spoke from Undyne's back. He wasn't talking to her, so she didn't look at him. It didn't matter. "Cause all I'm seein' is trees and more trees. Actually, fewer trees, cause it is getting' pretty dark."

"That tends to happen at night," the pinkette shot back. She certainty didn't seem to care it was night. Kind of like Undyne. Of course, Undyne only cared about one thing right now, and it wasn't the time of day. "But the cobblestone is a clear sign that we are approaching Count Mott's manor."

Undyne snorted, blowing away a bug that was hanging out by her nose. It's mistake, and probably a pretty big downside to the surface so far. The bugs that is. She was just lucky she had scales. The pests wouldn't have been able to get past that, let alone her armor.

She could only imagine how much they'd annoy Papyrus and Sans. Actually… just Papyrus. Sans could sleep through Hotland erupting.

"Count Mott had the area of his manor reduced due to reduced funds from the crown. He still has enough duties that he is able to retain his manor and servants, but the estate is likely on a third of its original size." If there was one thing about the pinkette that was set in stone, she knew her stuff when it came to nobles.

That would probably help when Undyne started tearing down the human's house. Probably, yeah.

"I'm certain that the… noise of your armor will be introduction enough to our presence," the pinkette kept talking, not like Undyne cared. "Once the guards come to meet with us, we'll be able to request a meeting with the Count. It may be late, but if we give him credence to meet with us, perhaps my family name, then we can discuss the maid's servitude and the…"

Undyne let the pinkette ramble on, her eyes focusing ahead instead. There was too much going on, and too much she just didn't care about. The pinkette talking was like her armor shaking. A lot of noise that got a lot of attention. Didn't help that it was at night. Undyne would have sighed if she cared enough to.

The surface wasn't supposed to be like this.

It was supposed to be the start of everything awesome that _Asgore_ talked about. It was supposed to be where she could go swimming in the ocean and catch sharks where her teeth. Where Alphys could talk to the humans and get them to share everything awesome about anime and robots. Papyrus could show off his skills, and, heck, even Sans could sleep outside.

But none of that was happening. The surface was awesome, seeing as the sun made her feel like 110% more powerful, but… no one else was here. No one else was here and that _did_ matter. The hell was the point of being on the surface if no one else made it.

Undyne looked at _Asgore's lance_ again. Still in the dark, still in the forest, but still as red as she remembered it. He was here, and Undyne was now. Trouble was, now that she was here, he wasn't… and he wasn't going to be again.

She lost him, but she wasn't going to lose anyone else.

Didn't matter if it was a monster, a human, or the Angel themselves. Undyne wasn't going to lose anyone else ever again.

She was going to get Siesta back, no matter what.

"There it is." That brought Undyne back to reality.

It was kind of hard to miss what the pinkette was talking about. The forest opened to a clearing, which opened to a gate, which lead right up to one of the most ridiculously sized 'houses' she'd ever seen. Yeah, they kept throwing around the word manor, but Asgore's castle was the size of this thing at best!

It probably had more windows than every house in Snowdin, and that wasn't even including the fact that it was sitting on a hill. What, did the humans have so much room to build houses they made a challenge out of it? It was really kind of weird to think about.

But really it didn't matter.

It may have been big, but that just meant that just meant she had to look harder for Siesta. She was in there, somewhere, and she was going to get her out. Undyne was _not_ going to lose another friend. Her grip on _Asgore's Lance_ tightened.

She focused on what was in front of her, specifically the gate. There were a couple of humans standing outside of it, wearing armor that was probably as durable as the rest of the stuff on the surface. Either they hadn't seen her yet or they were good at holding still. Given the pinkette's eyesight, probably the former.

It'd be really easy to get past them. And seeing as the door was just more wood, not even stone, no way it would hold up against her. Undyne knew it as soon as she saw it. She did all that, and she'd get Siesta back. Easy.

"Kay, here's the plan," Undyne started to speak. The pinkette would be listening to her. The brat hung off of everything else she said. "I'm going to break the fence, break down the door, and break any human that gets in my way. Sound good?"

" _Absolutely NOT!_ " Undyne just sighed at the screaming. It didn't matter, but it was kind of loud. "Did you not hear me speaking before! That is the complete _opposite_ of the plan I put forward!" Undyne didn't, because she didn't care.

"Yeah, well, I got a better plan." Undyne rolled her shoulder, pauldrons screeching with the effort, as she stared up at the human's house. Still a big house, too big really. Probably got lost in it more than once. That didn't matter though. "If we just get rid of everything, it'll be faster. I know I'm right about that."

"That would make us more than simply dis-honored members of the Magical Academy, that would mark us both as fugitives to the Queen and Country!" She was waving her arms a lot when she was screaming. It was kind of dark, but the Underground was way darker than this. Made the pinkette look pretty silly, like obviously-a-brat silly.

"Kind of agree with the little lady myself," Derf spoke up from Undyne's back. That got her to turn and stare at him. "Partner, there's no reason ta go all evil eye on me. Just thinkin' that I really don't wanna be another on-the-run kind of blade. It ain't as fun as it sounds. We should just follow the gal's idea and talk to this count or whatever."

"Huh?" Undyne found herself letting out, eyes screwed as she looked Derf's rusted hilt. He couldn't be serious. The guy who was a literal freaking sword _didn't_ want to fight? She must've heard wrong.

"Yes! Exactly!" The pinkette jumped like Papyrus on guard duty. It was actually eerily familiar. Undyne was just scowling at the idea of not fighting for Siesta.

"Well what do ya expect me to do?" Undyne answered back, leaning down until she was nose-to-nose with the punk. Undyne's lips were snarling, showing off her teeth for the brat. Too bad the pinkette didn't seem to care much. That made two of them. "Go up to the human in there and _talk_ to him?"

"That's _exactly_ what I want you to do!" The pinkette yelled back at her. She even had her hands on her hips like she was in charge. Who was she kidding? "It is historically the most effective means to reach complementary ends for both parties. If we speak to Count Mott about Siesta and negotiate her return to us, then we can potentially show good graces to other nobility."

"And every second we waste talkin' to the guy is another second Siesta could be in danger!" Undyne yelled back.

She had a good three feet on the punk, and she knew how to use it. Too bad it was kinda hard to cast a shadow in the dark. If only the sun were still up.

"I'm not gonna let my friend sit in some cold dark dungeon while ya talk to the guy!" Her hand waved at the overly-sized mansion on a hill. Didn't even occur to Undyne that the pinkette probably couldn't even see her hand that well.

But a place that big had to have a basement, and if Siesta was bought and paid for like… that, then that's where the creep would put her. And she'd sooner bit through steel without her teeth then let her friends sit in that kind of place.

"Wha… What are you _speaking_ of!?" The pinkette yelled back. "There is no reason to think the Count would do anything of the sort!" Her hair was flying around, and it was starting piss Undyne off.

"You said it yourself, pinky." She had more to say, but the little punk apparently had more.

"I _said_ the Count had questionable practices with his servants! Nothing nearly as abhorrent as _incarceration!_." She was pushing up against Undyne, literally.

The all-of-85-pounds human was putting herself up on her tip-toes to shove her face into Undyne's, glaring with both her eyes. Undyne only had one to use, but she was staring back with grit teeth and a fire of her own.

"Partner, I ain't against a good fight, really, but I'm thinkin' that talking could do a lot of good here." Undyne would have snarled at the sword if she could, but that would have just shoved her out of the pinkette's face.

That'd be like running away!

"Ya know what, fine, _fine_ ," Undyne growled out. She made sure to make her throat rumble with the sound. It helped to freak out kids in Snowdin. Probably would do a whole lot more to the determination-less humans. "We'll talk to the slob inside, but I'm not leavin' without Siesta, got it?" Nothing else mattered. Nothing except for Siesta mattered.

Undyne would throw away every piece of her armor if it meant she could get that human back. Because that human was her friend, and she was _not_ going to lose anyone else.

 _Asgore's Lance_ felt heavy in her hand.

"I understand, Undyne," the punk responded. Her face was calming down, a little. Undyne could see well in the dark, but it was still freaking dark. "And I followed you here with the same intentions. I am merely showing caution before action, so we don't… risk more."

She was gonna say something else, definitely was going to say something else. Had to be avoiding something she thought Undyne wasn't tough enough to take.

But honestly, it didn't matter. Siesta was more important than some punk's words.

"Then let's go." Undyne turned and started walking. She heard the pinkette catch up to her quickly. It was still dark out, for most humans at least. That was the only logic Undyne had for why the guards at the gates hadn't stopped them yet.

They looked kind of cool, sort of, like the disposable-character-in-an-anime sort of way. Armor that was sleek, tall spears, and some pretty hefty cloaks to boot. Those really didn't matter, not unless they got Undyne in to see Siesta.

"Halt!" One of them finally yelled. Would've awkward if they made it to the gate first. "State your business at this hour." Okay, good question to ask, if one to just buy time. Undyne kept her grip on _Asgore's Lance_ tight.

"My name is Louise de La Valliere from Tristian's Magic Academy," the pinkette started talking. Turned out her lungs were good for something. "I have come to see Count Mott regarding a commoner he recently acquired." And damn if that didn't just ruin all of it.

"It is far too late for the Count to be seeing guests." Bad first move. "Furthermore, your very being out here is suspicious, without a coach or forewarning of your arrival." He was probably being smart, but he was also being stupid. "I'll have to ask you to leave and return at another time."

And the other guard was lowering his spear towards them. These humans were dumb, stupid, and asking for trouble. They didn't matter. Only Siesta mattered right now, because she was in danger and Undyne was _not_ going to let her friends stay in danger!

She took a step forward, ready to summon her own spears and pelt the humans into submission. It'd be easy as the morning jog around the Underground, easier even!

But the pinkette stepped in front of her, like she knew what to do. The little brat.

"Good sirs," the pinkette kept talking. "Though you do not believe it, we come with good intentions for the Count. Our late hour is due to our haste to come here." Undyne continued to stare down the couple of disposable guards in front of her.

They didn't matter, at all, but the pinkette did. She was on her side at least.

"If I were to entertain the idea, you would need proof of your standing and intentions, young madam." First time Undyne had heard anyone call the pinkette something like that, but it didn't matter. "What have you to show for it?"

She didn't say anything, probably because there wasn't much to say. Guess that meant it was time for her to act! At least, Undyne hoped it was, but the pinkette was about as thick as Undyne's armor.

"Undyne," she started talking over her shoulder. "I am sure if they were to see you… they would likely allow us entry and court with the Count." The heck did that mean?

"They can see me right now, can't they?" Undyne knew most guards like these humans weren't worth much. They were no Snowdin Dog Squad, but no way were humans that blind. "My armor's dark, but they've got to be able to-"

"I meant _you_ , Undyne," she spoke up again. "As in, without your helm to conceal you." Oh, guess that made sense.

Humans did tend to act different when they saw her, usually because they put on that typical dumb human expression. Guess she wasn't the only one who figured that out now.

If it got her into see Siesta though, it didn't matter.

Undyne reached up to her helm with her free hand, refusing to let go of _Asgore's Lance_. Gripping the top of it, she pulled the metal shell off of her head. The cold air of the night hit her quickly, and it felt good.

But Undyne had to admit, the way the guard's dropped their spears was actually better. Guess that dumb human expression had its uses, too.

"What is _that!?_ " The guard shouted, dropping his spear. That was really weird of a soldier to do.

"A monster!" The other one of them shouted. "A-A monster from the woods! Come to kill us!"

Geez, yeah, she was a monster, but _Asgore_ told her to not kill humans if she ever got to the surface. It was making her head throb, their stupidity and all.

"Now do you believe we can see the Count?" The pinkette asked them again. They weren't looking at her though. They seemed pretty focused on Undyne. Must be her eye.

Most monsters didn't like looking at her missing eye. Really didn't matter though.

"N-No!" Undyne ground her teeth at the declaration. These humans were some kind of special stupid. Being stubborn as all hell, but without an ounce of determination. "This is… you are surely attempting to slay the count with that monster!"

"Hey!" Undyne yelled at the nameless punk. The guard raised his lance at her. The thing was about as useful as a toothpick, at least if it was as durable as the rest of the junk human's made. "My name's Undyne, and I'm-"

" _Eager_ to see the Counter." Undyne let her eye glare at the pinkette in front of her. The brat wasn't facing her, so she couldn't see it, of course. "And I assure you, kind sirs, that if we intended for any harm, we would not have even attempted this greeting."

The guards looked at one another for a second, probably doing one of those silent conversations Undyne had seen happen a lot in the human shows. It didn't matter, not as long as she got in to see Siesta.

"I-I'll alert the Servants!"

"Hey wait!" One of them yelled after the other, just before turning around to open the gate. Would've been cool to watch, if he didn't act like he was shoving an elephant.

It just proved to Undyne that all humans really were weak, even the guards. It was just metal, hanging metal. It was probably lighter than her armor!

"See Undyne?" The pinkette spoke up, turning to face her this time. Undyne didn't need the sun to see the smirk on the punk's face. It was lopsided like her own. "A few words and confident show is all you need."

Undyne snorted a hot breath of air, but the brat had a point. All she had to do was take off her helm, and the humans were falling over themselves to help them.

She felt her own grin pull at her lips, letting the cool night air slip through the cracks of her teeth.

"Nice job, Louise," she spoke the punk's name. She put her gauntlet atop the pinkette's hair, holding it there carefully. Undyne didn't want to crush the kid. "That was pretty smooth."

"I'll call it a clean cut," Derf spoke from her back. That got a snort from Undyne. He seemed more determined to break things rather than cut them, like the mood. "Still, bonus we get in, right?"

Undyne didn't answer him. Instead she looked at the guard shivering in front of them, a far cry from the guy that was trying to act all tough just a bit ago. If a few words did that, then yeah, they made progress.

"Yeah, but we ain't done yet."

She heard the human gulp as she began to walk forward, the earth shaking beneath her armor.

* * *

As it turned out, the "house" wasn't any smaller inside. Still felt like it was _Asgore's_ castle on the surface, with a heck of a lot more going on it.

A room or two in and she'd already lost track of the number of pictures, statues, or whatever-the-heck-else was lining up around the walls and corners of the room. Heck, she couldn't even tell what they were half the time! They were just _way_ to bright and had _way_ too many colors.

But she was right on that it was huge, too big for something as simple as living in. Undyne could park her home in the one room they were _still_ walking through, and keep room to move around it! Also didn't help that the place was bright. Like, it-was-still-day-out bright.

It kind of reminded Undyne of when she and Alphys had watched a horror anime once. She had to keep watch the rest of the night with all the lights on, to make sure they weren't going to be dragged away. It had been so bright, Undyne hadn't even been able to see in Waterfall the next day.

Course, right now, the humans were the ones who were acting scared.

Both of the guards that had met them at the gates were showing her and the pinkette forward, marching about as strictly as a wet towel. Made her miss Papyrus even more. At least the guy tried to act tough.

"Remember Undyne," the pinkette spoke up from beside her. "We will use words. It has gotten us well so far." Given that they were walking through the human's home, Undyne couldn't say she was wrong. Besides, it didn't matter. Not as long as she got Siesta back.

"Yeah, yeah, I'll follow you Pinky," Undyne waved her gauntlet at the human. She'd do that, at least until the human did something stupid. The one who had Siesta that is. The pinky was being a true friend.

And Undyne remembered her friends. Always. Her grip on _Asgore's Lance_ tightened.

"Th-The count isupahead." One of the guards threw out. More like threw up, actually. Undyne almost missed the last part. Really though, she'd have figured out what he meant.

There was a large set of double doors ahead. Kind of felt like a throne room, which she wasn't sure how to feel about. This 'count' guy obviously wasn't a king, so him having a place like this was just weird, too weird actually.

But it didn't matter. Not as long as he gave back Siesta and they got out of there. Nothing else mattered.

The guards flanked the doors, like shaky statues. It was the best metaphor Undyne had. Other than that, she could only say that they were pretty tiny compared to the door they were trying to open. Yeah, the door on that vault or whatever was bigger, but not by much.

"The count is just inside, I promise." Undyne was starting to get she was scary, really she was, but the human was a guard! How could he be tough and imposing if he kept shaking like that? "A-And we will be there as well!" Why wouldn't they be?

"Very well," the pinkette spoke up instead. Good, that was probably good at least. Leave it to a human to a human to know how to act around humans.

_THUD_

Undyne's good eye blinked at the sound, hearing it just before the doors began to swing open. She had no idea what made that sound, but the fact the fact that the door made a sound that wasn't just swinging on hinges was kind of weird. Knowing the humans though, probably didn't do much to make the doors any stronger.

But one look inside the new room told Undyne she needed to about the doors. They were as big as the safe, because the room behind it looked like it was worth just as much! Hopefully they didn't have something of _Asgore's_ in here.

There was a staircase in the front of the room that looked like it could have a waterfall running down it, going up like three stories to boot! It had carpet, colored gold, purple, and a bunch of other random shades, but all put into some kind of pattern that was _really_ doing a number on Undyne's good eye.

That wasn't even her taking in the fact that the guards for the stairs looked like they were made out of carved wood and that there were even _MORE_ pictures in the room. This human had more pictures in this mansion than like all of Snowdin and New Home combined!

And Undyne still couldn't tell any of the pictures apart, after that one was bigger than the other!

"And here are my guests." Some voice spoke up. Undyne found the owner of it quickly.

Undyne gripped _Asgore's Lance_ as she looked at the human. She couldn't hide her scowl, not that she cared to.

It was a human standing atop the stairway, walking down in step-by-step. If he was up there before, Undyne wasn't embarrassed to say she couldn't see him. His clothing pretty much matched the carpet he was walking on. And that was just the beginning of a long list of details she had for him.

So far, the worst human she'd seen was just an old sack of skin with just enough hair to give _Asgore_ a run for his money. Yeah, the humans were about as different as she'd expected, but by the Angel if this human didn't take the cake for disgusting.

He was dressed in some of the most ridiculously colored robes she'd ever seen, and wearing jewels that _had_ to be one sneeze from falling off. That wasn't even to mention his weirdly pointed moustache and lack of hair the guy had on top. And that wasn't even the worst part!

Worst part had to be how _flabby_ he looked. It wasn't muscles, sure as heck weren't just big bones either. The guy was literally carrying extra fat! Why the heck would humans do that? They didn't need it like Alphys, and unlike her, it sure wasn't doing the guy any favors in the looks department.

It just made him look… _slimy!_

But really, honestly, it didn't matter. All that mattered was that this was the human that had Siesta, somewhere in this place. So all they had to do was get him to cough up where she was.

And Undyne just had to trust the pinkette to work her magic… or words. Whatever.

"Well," the human spoke as he descended the staircase. "I was honestly in belief my guards had exaggerated when they used the term 'monster'. It appears I owe them an apology." Did it really take eyes to make sure she was a monster? His words were as slimy as he looked.

"Count Mott," the pinkette spoke up. Undyne watched her bow, grabbing at the edges of her skirt as she did so. That was a curtsy. Undyne wasn't going to curtsy. Not to this slimy human. "I thank you for agreeing to meet us at such an inconvenient hour."

"If there is benefit to be had, then no hour is inconvenient." Undyne had no idea what that meant. She just knew that the human's every word was as disgusting as he was. "And I can tell already there is an interesting conversation to be held here."

And he was still looking at her, right at her. Why? The pinkette was the one talking, and she knew a heck of a lot more about this boring human stuff. Undyne just wanted Siesta, her friend, now. Maybe it was like that dumb human expression. They just couldn't help it.

"Yes, well, please allow me to begin with introductions," the pinkette bowed the same way she had done with the princess.

Weird, cause this guy was worth more than the princess in _every_ way Undyne could imagine.

"I am Louise de Le Valliere, daughter of the Heavy Wind and Ambassador for the Tristian Kingdom to Monster kind." Wasn't hard to tell she loved saying every word in that one-hell-of-a-sentence.

But the room got quiet after she was done talking. That was more creepy than anything else, cause Undyne couldn't remember any rooms in the Underground that were this big and empty. Then again, there was a heck of a lot more room on the surface.

Then again _again_ , the pinkette was looking at her now, through the bangs of her long pink hair. Had a mean gleam to her eyes, not that it mattered.

"Partner," Derf whispered from her back. Why a whisper? Was everything weird here? "I'm thinkin the gal is waiting for you ta introduce yourself now."

Oh, that made sense. She adjusted her grip on _Asgore's Lance_ before she raised her free gauntlet, the dark metal screeching lightly with the motion.

"Name's Undyne. Captain of the Royal Guard for… Monsters." She made sure to smile brightly, just like Asgore told her… even if she had to leave his name out of her title.

That was the truth, that was all it was. She wasn't _Asgore's_ Captain. Not if _Asgore_ was gone…

"Monsters…" the slimy human spoke up. He sounded _just_ like those creepy anime characters that went evil by episode 12. Not a good sign, not that it mattered. "I have heard the term used many a time before, but never in relation to a race or kingdom."

"The Monsters, to whom Undyne is loyal, were imprisoned beneath the surface for centuries," the pinkette kept talking. Wasn't wrong so far. "Only recently has my magic brought forth the possibility for them to escape their forced imprisonment."

Might have been wrong there, but not too wrong. Like, reasonable maybe. Yeah, that.

"Amazing. This gives credence to all the rumors I heard from the capital these past few days." What rumors was he talking about? And was he still not down from the stairs?

Yeah, they were huge, but he had to be waddling for it to take him that long.

"Then, as you have both started, my name is Count Mott of Tristian's Noble Court," the human went on. He extended his arms like he was supposed to be a bird or something. All it showed Undyne was that he had a _lot_ of slack in those clothes.

But it didn't matter. None of it did. Not unless she got Siesta back.

"Now, how may I be of service to two distinguished members of differing kingdoms?" That was a hell of a way of asking what they wanted. Whatever, didn't matter.

 _Asgore's Lance_ mattered. Derf mattered. The pinkette mattered. And Siesta mattered that was it.

"We have come here after learning that a servant previously hired by Tristian Magic Academy." Now Undyne liked that, jumping right into it. No human-like beating around the bush. "Though her contract was legally purchased, she is worth more to Sir Undyne and I."

"Oh?" The human asked with a word, raising his hand to his fat chin. Bad sign, if anime was any clue. "This sounds like an truly amazing commoner. But you will need to be more specific, as I frequent many servants both to and from the Academy." Was that true?"

"It is true." Undyne looked down at the pinkette. She didn't say anything out loud, she knew it, so how the hell did the punk know? "It is common to reduce the risk of spies or foreign parties."

Geez, humans were dark. But it didn't matter. Only Siesta mattered.

"But more than that, what is this servant worth to you?" The slimy human kept talking. He was only half-way down the stairs. By the Angel, Undyne wanted to jump up there and start talking to him. "They must be worth something grand, to be worth a spontaneous trip through dangerous woods."

This was taking _way_ too long!

"Everything, all right!" Undyne shouted up at the human.

It made him freeze in place. Geez, these humans either moved slowly or not at all! Didn't matter though, not really. Not unless he stopped completely.

"Undyne!" she heard the brat hiss at her. Undyne ignored the kid.

"She's worth everything I got, cause she's one of the first friends I made up here!" Undyne showed off all her teeth as she spoke. _Asgore_ did say it showed honesty. "And I'm not 'bout to let _another_ important person in my life just disappear!"

_BANG!_

Undyne slammed her boot down to show her point.

But, again, the room got quiet. Big rooms without any noise were officially in her list of places she didn't like to be. Right after graves.

She kept her good eye on the human on the stairs, who looked slimier and slimier by the second. Didn't help that he looked like he was sweating by just standing still. And the pinkette wasn't doing much to help either.

Undyne may not have been looking at the young punk, but she could tell the human girl was staring up at her with _her_ usual expression of anger. Way better than the typical human expression, but it still didn't tell Undyne crap. All she did know was silence wasn't telling her anything.

"She is truly worth so much to you," the human on the stairs finally spoke. Undyne would've thanked him, if she didn't want to skewer him. "I would never have thought a simple servant from the Magical Academy would be worth so much."

Everything Undyne had ever learned about humans told her this guy was bad news before. Now, those same lessons were telling her this was going to go bad, fast. But honestly, she didn't care, not unless it stopped her from getting Siesta.

"A truly grand opportunity," the human spoke again. Well, more like whisper. Undyne could barely hear him. She just tightened her grip on _Asgore's Lance_. "Without question something that will not come again. An ambassador and captain, have to be connected to something grand."

Undyne risked a glance at the pinkette. The punk wasn't doing much though, except continuing to stare at her. These humans didn't have determination _or_ hearing!

"Sir Undyne and Lady Valliere," the slimy human started to speak again, louder. "I will be more than willing to return to you your servant." He bowed at the words, like he was doing some grand favor to them. Undyne _really_ wished he'd fall down the stairs.

"Not a servant, punk," She spoke through clenched teeth. This was all taking way too long and felt wrong all the same.

"Regardless of her association, she is important to you." Not like they had said that a couple dozen times by now. "so, as a sign of good faith, I will return her to you." And the slimy human was all smiles.

But… that did sound like a good deal. Getting Siesta back from the creep for free. There was a human expression Undyne heard once in a show about stuff like this, not looking a gift horse in the throat or something.

"I thank you profusely for your kindness, Count Mott," the pinkette was speaking again. She was facing the big dude on the stairs and bent over to boot. Guess the punk really was in her element. "But may I inquire to know what you wish to have from us?"

"From you? Whatever do you mean, Ms. Valliere? As I have said, this is merely a show of good grace to a rising kingdom." The human asked. Undyne need her ears to hear the overly-sweet. Okay, she actually did, but her point was mute. It didn't matter. What did matter was what the pinkette was saying.

"And I trust your word, Count," the punk continued, standing to her tallest again. Tallest being chest height to Undyne. "But I am experienced enough to know that favors are requested from generous deeds." In her element, alright.

"I can see why you were chosen for role as ambassador," the sleazy human spoke. Did he know the pinkette got her out of the Underground? Probably, yeah. "And you are correct. I was hoping to collect payment later, but if you wish to know my desires now, I am not one to hold back from the wishes of a fine woman… and monster."

Did he just say Undyne wasn't a lady.

Last monster to say that hadn't left Hotland for years! This creep, this _slimy_ human didn't even have the brains to go with this kind of home he was living in!

But it didn't matter. It didn't matter because he had Siesta, and Undyne _would_ get her friend back. She'd do anything.

"How would the sum of 10,000 gold sound?" That… was a lot of money.

But Undyne would pay it. She just had to get to the town center or whatever and fork over her armor and stuff. She'd beat the crap out of some bandits if she had to. They always dropped some gold.

"C… Count, that is a _grand_ sum of money." The pinkette spoke up. She didn't sound happy about it either. Kay, good, they were on the same page. "I would need time for not only travel, but for arrangements to guarantee the such an amount."

"It should not take you so long," he slimy human kept speaking. He was further down the stairs, but it was like trying to keep track of a falling leaf in a forest. He was like the _same_ color as the stairs.

Wait, that didn't matter.

"If you hurry, I will be inclined to not sell this servant of yours to another bidder."

 _THAT_ mattered!

" _Count Mott!_ " Least the pinkette sounded as pissed off as she did, minus the literal spears Undyne wanted to throw. "We are proposing a generous trade for a servant you have only recently come across. There is no need to add time to this table." Fancy way of say forcing our hand!

"But why not?" The slimy guy went on. "You have said of the worth of this commoner is worth near all that you have." He held up his arms like a smug villain bragging about his victory. Undyne gripped _Asgore's Lance_ hard, even if her eye felt sharper than the weapon.

"And we… stand by that." Undyne glanced at the pinkette. Sure didn't sound like the punk was. But whatever. Undyne knew _she_ was. That was what mattered. "So what benefit is there to ask us to make haste with this deal?"

"Because whatever makes this servant worth so much to you must make her worth even more to another party." What now? "It is the common sense of nobles to notice the worth of high-priced items. The service of a commoner is no different."

Undyne had it.

"Kay, talking's done!" With a quick swipe of _Asgore's Lance_ , she brought her magic to bear.

_BANGBANGBANGBANGBANGBANG_

Undyne _felt_ more than saw the pinkette jump away from her. She saw more than felt the slimy human just about trip down the stairs. Too bad that didn't come true. No small mystery why either happened.

The humans reacted to her spears like they did her strength, with the typical human expression.

"What in the _Founder's_ name are you doing?!" The human yelled at her. "Threatening me in my own home! Monster!" Couldn't say he was lying, but he was still slimier than the most disgusting human Undyne had ever seen. And she'd picked up anime from the trash.

"I followed what the pinkette said, fallin' in line ta make sure we'd show some mercy." Undyne growled through her clenched teeth, staring at the slimy human with her good eye.

Credit where it was due, he wasn't jumping away like every other human she'd seen. Still didn't keep him giving that _typical human expression_.

"But the first chance you got, you say you're gonna self _her off_!" Undyne didn't need a library of human history to know what _that_ meant. Who could say that was ever gonna be justified!

Now this felt _right_!

" _Undyne!_ " the punk was yelling at her when she should have been _looking for Siesta_! "You cannot be serious to challenge the Count like this!" Oh by the Angel's Mercy!

"We tried talking!" Undyne yelled at the pinkette, making sure her good eye was right on the pinkette's own pair. "We tried talkin', I was honest, and he started talking 'bout selling Siesta off as soon as we leave here!"

Undyne pulled Derflinger right form his sheath, letting the rusted metal that was his blade sing with the effort.

"And I _swore_ I wasn't gonna lose anyone else!" For a spontaneous monologue, that wasn't half bad. Guess _Asgore_ was right again.

The best speeches came when they were needed.

"Eh, kinda wanted to see this go differently," Derflinger spoke, free from his sheath. "But, if we're gonna be outlaws, least it'll give us the chance ta _pommel_ this guy!" He could crack jokes as much as he wanted! The cornier the better.

"And you _dare_ to think that I'll allow such foolish actions in my home!" The human was at least _acting_ tough. Best reaction Undyne had gotten so far. Too bad it had to be from a _slime ball_. "It matters not what level of magic you possess. I am a noble and there is _no where_ I am safer than in my own mansion!"

Undyne watched the overly sized human reach into his robes, pulling out another stick like it was threatening. Given that the pinkette gasped, it might've been. But it was still just a stick, a gold covered stick.

Undyne had lances, spears, and a literal talking sword.

" _GUARDS!_ " The human shouted, even as he pointed the wand at them. He was probably trying to look intimidating still, standing a good story above Undyne and the punk. He wasn't though.

Neither were the human 'guards' that barged into the room behind them. They were the same spineless guys that fell over each other to get them in here.

"These two have threatened my life upon my grounds! Detain them until word can be sent to her highness!" Undyne couldn't help the grin that split her face.

The princess! She'd be on her side, no doubt! No way she wouldn't want to help her. Heck, a part of Undyne was sure that if they waited, she'd get Siesta back and the slimy human would be thrown back to the pond!

But that didn't matter, because time mattered. And time said she had to move, now.

"V-Very well!" One of the 'guards' spoke. Undyne turned her good eye at him, staring at the quivering face beneath the helmet.

He was holding his spear at her like it was a stick. What was she, a dog to bat away? Tough luck! The Snowdin Dog patrol wouldn't be any more put off by that than she would be. Besides… Undyne had more spears.

_BANGBANGBANGBANGBANG_

More spears that were holding the couple of guards still as statues. Except for the tears. She couldn't stop their tears. Kay, she could, but that would just be a waste of time, something she _really_ couldn't do.

"Undyne! Have you truly gone mad!?" The pinkette was yelling at her again? Undyne felt her grin twist into a scowl, lower teeth sticking out until they scratched at her nose. "Those are guard supplied by the royal military! This could be seen as an act of war!"

"Then you humans are getting more pathetic by the second!" Undyne shot back. "Sides, I didn't hurt them, did I?" She asked one of the humans. He was still crying. A lot. Like he wasn't even trying to talk to her.

"Don't mind the guards, lass," Derf spoke from Undyne's hand. "They've been _spear_ ed alright. Not a scratch on them!" That was a stretch, but it didn't matter too much.

There was only one human she was worried about.

"Of course they were useless," the human was speaking from the stairs. Undyne looked back at him, seeing the high amount of fat on the dude's face jiggling as he swayed his head. "Guards though they are, they are still but commoners. No commoner can challenge nobles, even disgraced as you lot are."

Kay, Undyne was a lot of things, but she wasn't disgraced. No way in hell. She was here just to get Siesta back, cause not saving her _would_ be a disgrace!

"Then I suppose it is up to me to put the intruders in their place," the human spoke as undeservingly smugly as ever. That was totally a word. If he could roll up his sleeve to look tough, Undyne could say stuff like that. "And let it be known I am quelling a rebellion as I do so."

"Rebellion?" Derflinger, of all people, spoke up. "Eh, if we're gonna be breakin' the law, guess it makes sense ta do it in style." Leave it to a rusty sword to see the Brightside in things. Undyne refused to repeat her thought.

"Now observe the folly of your actions!" The slimy human raised his golden wand into the air, like he was trying to summon thunder or something. Fat luck with that! They were inside.

Whatever, his stupidity would just make getting Siesta back easier and faster, both more important that worrying about some literally and metaphorically bloated human. Undyne stepped forward, ignoring the guard behind her.

She'd walk up to the human, stand a foot or two above him, like all the rest, then slap him over the railing. The fat would cover him, or the slime, one of the two. That was exactly what she was _going_ to do.

That is, before she started to see water collect above him.

Okay, Undyne was being conservative. The human was collecting a lake's pond's worth of water above him. Where did that even come from. Actually a good question, but didn't _really_ matter right now.

At least it didn't matter as much as what the human was planning to do with it. Undyne didn't need a history of human lessons to know what he was planning though. She tightened her grip on Derflinger and _Asgore's Lance_.

"Hey, punk," Undyne spoke to the pinkette. She turned to look at her. She had her wand drawn. Adorable, but didn't matter. "What don't ya go and find Siesta." Had to get the kid out of the way.

But just like the Monster kid, the punk wasn't having any of it.

"No!" The pinkette shouted pretty damn quickly. "I am not going to abandon you! Even… Even when your _stupid_ sense of reasoning causes this, I will not simply abandon you."

Well yeah, that was good and all, but it didn't really matter. Undyne was pretty sure the pinkette didn't have the determination to stand up to the _giant pond_ the human was collecting above him. It was like a villain charging up his final attack.

Actually, now that she thought about it, that was exactly what it was. And it would've been awesome, if she wasn't here for a reason. But Undyne was _not_ about to forget that.

"You aren't," Undyne started, growling up at the human on the stairs. "Yer gonna go find Siesta, cause if things get bad, you're gonna get her outta here." Undyne cracked her neck. This was gonna be a fight after all.

"But I can help!" the pinkette yelled again. Seriously, the yelling. "Derflinger has assisted me in my magic! I can use it! I _can help!_ " Yeah, lighting a fire maybe, but not with handling a lake like that.

"That's great 'nd all, but knowin' how to do that doesn't make ya ready for this." Undyne tilted _Asgore's Lance_ forward. The slimy human's expression was cheery, the _wrong_ kind of cheery, like the I'm-invincible-and-you-can't-stop-me cheery. "Go get Siesta and I'll handle the slime guy."

" _But I can HELP!_ " Undyne wasn't sure if she was growling at the human on the stairs or the human in front of her. At least the pinkette had a reason for being crazy. "Let me HELP!"

"Face the _current_ of the _Undertow!_ "

Well if that wasn't a bad sign.

_SPLOOSH_

Undyne looked back up the stairs, ready to face the human and the lake's worth of water he was carrying.

Instead, she was faced with a waterfall rushing down the stairs.

Well, it at least looked appropriate, given the massive size of the staircase. Probably ruined whatever kind of carpet was lining the thing, but that didn't really matter right now. What did matter was the massive wall of water falling down towards her.

Yeah, it was just water, probably weaker than the stuff that usually fell down in Waterfall. She could probably swim up if it she really wanted to. She kind of did to, just to hit the slimy human that had sent the stuff at her.

Undyne's problem though was the pinkette that wanted to fight. The punk that was literally in the path of a waterfall. So, Undyne had one option.

Prove what her friends were worth.

The digits of her gauntlet spun _Asgore's Lance_ , stopping when her arm was flexed at her side and the point of the red staff was aimed forward. Her legs bent to a crouch, good eye staring at the water rushing at her.

"That water's _WEAK!_ " Undyne roared as she thrusted _Asgore's Lance_ forward.

It hit the water just as it got close to them.

And then it split the water.

It was awesome to watch, Undyne knew that. She knew it because she'd seen _Asgore_ do the same thing to her spears whenever they dueled. Whenever she got lucky enough to have one head right at him, he'd cut it in half like it was nothing.

And now, instead of her magic, she was cutting the human's magic water in half with _Asgore's Lance_. And it was so awesome, so awesome. Mostly because it mattered.

It mattered because it was forcing the water around them, having it slam into the human guards that were pinned down by her spears and slamming into the walls too full of weird pictures. It was just like the Waterfall back in the Underground, the sound of crashing water on hard rocks.

She knew the punk must have been screaming, cause no way was a human like her used to this. But that didn't matter, because Undyne knew she was safe. She was safe and that was what mattered.

Then the water stopped, just like she knew it would, cause no way did humans have infinite magic. They weren't that cool. She flipped _Asgore's Lance_ around in her fingers, slamming it into the ground when she was done. The water splashed at the impact.

The human's attack did leave the ground pretty wet though, water rising up to about the ankles of her armor. Nothing to worry about at all, especially because it wasn't moving.

"How… How did you do that!? Answer me creature!?" The slimy human was screaming. It would've made Undyne chuckle if his weird mustache curled a little, like it did to the humans from Alphys's old videos. But really, it didn't matter, not when Undyne had more important stuff to do.

Like talk some sense into a stubborn brat.

"Pinky… Louise," Undyne began, focusing on the shaking punk with her good eye. "There is no way you're ready fer a fight right now. _I am_." The punk didn't talk, she just kept her wide eyes on Undyne. Perfect. "I'm the Captain of the Underground's Royal Guard. I've been training to fight since I could swim. Now I'm gonna kick this human's ass so I can get Siesta back. _You're_ gonna go find her, cause you know how jerks like this guy thinks."

"Partner's got a point, Louise," Derflinger spoke up now, rusty voice scratching with his words. "Yer learnin' magic, which is worth gold. But right now, yer like molten metal. Don't have any trainin' ta shape your steel. One good hit and you'd be done."

Undyne had no idea what Derf's words were doing more to the punk than her own. Least it looked like it was, seein' as the pinkette was starting to get wet in the eyes. Maybe that was the water though. Pretty good chance at least.

"True me, pinky," Undyne spoke again. Had to get the punk to find Siesta fast. "You'll get your shot. Just not right now, kay?"

And just like a brat, she didn't answer. The pinkette just pursed her lips and took in a lot of deep breaths. That was a bad combination with the clenched fists. Undyne had seen enough kids in Snowdin look just like that before throwing fits.

But if Undyne could handle the Monster Kid, she could handle this pint-size punk.

"If we're in this for the long haul pinky, then you'll get another chance to show me what you got." Undyne spoke again. The water wasn't moving, and the human was still talking on the staircase. "Right now though, I need ya to find Siesta while I put this slime guy in his place."

"But… B-But I am not…" Useless. Yeah, Undyne heard it. The pinkette didn't need to say it. This really wasn't the time for it, at all, but geez if this wasn't proof that the punk was still a brat. Least if there was any good in this, it proved one thing.

This kid was going to be amazing someday.

"You're not useless, punk," Undyne spoke up again. She felt her teeth gnashing at the comment, staring at the pinkette's eyes. They were wet as they looked back. "Yer just not ready. There's a difference, kay? So, if ya can, _please_ go find Siesta."

Undyne watched the pinkette, mostly cause the pinkette was staring at her with wider eyes than some monsters. And considering that some monsters were nothing but eyes, that was saying something.

But she took in a deep breath of air, puffing out the chest of her dress. Good sign. She rose to her feet, putting her wand away in her blouse. Better sign.

"Alright Undyne," she spoke, swallowing on something first. "I'll… leave this to you. But only the promise that you will be alright alone." That was the best sign.

"Punk," Undyne began, lips pulling at her gums till they felt dry in the air. "You don't got a reason to be worried for me."

And the pinkette smiled back, perfect. Yeah, close enough at least.

"Much as I love the bondin' goin' on," Derflinger spoke up from Undyne's hand. "I'm thinkin' the human on the stairs is about to do somethin' again." Well leave it to the sword to be focused on the fight. Not that Undyne was complaining.

She turned back around, armor splashing the water at her feet. Sure enough, the slimetastic human was waving his wooden stick back and forth. He looked like an overgrown flower, yeah, with its head cut off. His fat made him look like a log.

He was no Alphys. She knew how to look good. This "human" was just covering up.

"You're position as Royal Guard is well deserved, monster." That sounded like an insult, but how was it an insult? Undyne was a monster. Humans, they couldn't even insult properly. "So I will show the true power of the one named the Undertow!" Sounded like a term Alphys would know.

"Better get going punk," Undyne twisted _Asgore's Lance_ around. "This'll be done by the time ya get back." Undyne was more sure of that then the armor she was wearing.

"O-Okay!" The pinkette spoke up, finally. She didn't say anything else after that. Undyne just heard her feet beat against the water as she ran away. Didn't take long for that noise to fade off down some hallway Undyne couldn't recognize.

The pinkette would have a better idea where to go in this place anyway. It was a human house, too big for the Underground and too gaudy for Undyne's taste. The pinkette would find Siesta in here. Yeah, for sure. All Undyne had to do was give her time. And she could do that.

Because she could do anything for her friends.

"Are you prepared creature!" The human yelled again. Definitely not a roar, not when he sounded like he was one note off from having his voice crack. "For you'll now be prey to the force that drags poor souls to the water's cold embrace!"

Undyne could only raise the brow of her good eye. It was stupidly hard to keep track of what this guy was saying. Good thing it didn't matter. All that mattered was stopping him and saving Siesta.

"So now, my Line Class Spell, _Water Tow!_ " Water what? Like a tractor?

Undyne looked down as something pulled at her feet. It felt like the snow in Snowdin, like when the kids were havin their snowball fights. Just a lot more and all at once. A glance down with her good eye didn't really surprise her.

The water that was on the ground was swarming around her. At least that was how she saw it. A whirlpool maybe. It was spinning around her and dragging against the metal of her armor. And that was it.

"Can you feel it!" The human bragged at her from the stairs. "Can you feel the force pulling you to your early grave?" He had to be joking. The slime bucket had to be joking.

You could _not_ brag that much and then give an attack this pathetic. It was like against all the rules Undyne had ever known!

You don't name weak attacks!

"My turn then, slimy!" Undyne shouted. She raised Derflinger in the air, pointing towards the roof that sat high above her.

_BANGBANGBANGBANG_

And half a dozen of her spears exploded into view. She could feel herself grinning at the human's expression. Yeah, it was the typical human look, but this time, in the middle of a fight, it was _awesome_ to see. And she didn't even have to give a speech!

"Catch, punk!" Undyne swung Derflinger down.

Her spears shot forward at the human, ready to pin him to the stairs. It wouldn't be hard.

" _Fool!_ " The human shouted, waving his wand in front of himself.

The water that was swarming around Undyne pretty much ran up the stairs, at least that was what it looked like to her. Because it made a wall in front of the human. Undyne blinked.

Her spears slammed into the water, but slowed to a stop in the liquid. Not but a few seconds later, her magic dissipated. Undyne shook her head. Maybe the human did have something in him for a fight.

Nah, that wasn't it he just got lucky. Yeah, given the fat he was carrying and water he controlled, it'd been hard to actually hit him in one go, but fighting humans wasn't supposed to be easy. Maybe that was one reason she was feeling pissed off.

Nah, that was because this slime ball had taken Siesta and wanted to sell her off again. Yeah, that was definitely why.

"Ha… HahahaHAHAHA!" The human began to cheer as he waved his wand again. The wall of water dissipated in front of him. Or, more like it started to collect in the air above him again.

Wasn't as clear and blue as it was before. Probably because it had a bunch of paint colors mixed into the liquid. That was what happened when you threw it around an overly decorated pseudo-castle like this! Still, Undyne just had to reach him then.

She took off, letting her boots pound into the floor beneath her. The wood splintered at her stomps, destroying itself as she ran crossed it. She wasn't fast in her armor, but she was no slowpoke! In no time, she hit the stairs, alright up seven steps.

Then the human started to yell again. Undyne stopped.

"Your magic means nothing to me!" He continued to yell, letting his wand spin above his head. Kind of looked like he was trying to spin with it. Least it was obvious what he was doing.

Kind of hard to miss the giant ball of water spinning in the air. Undyne _really_ wanted to know where that came from. But actually, it didn't matter. Only one thing mattered, and it wasn't this human or his pathetic magic.

"You've seen spells of only Dot or Line class variety," he continued to boast. Why boast? Undyne knew the rules of boasting, and you only did it when you _had_ something! "You've had yet to witness my triangle class magic!" Dammit, if he wasn't talking so much, Undyne would've had a chance to get further up the stairs!

"Hey, partner," Derf spoke from Undyne's hand. "Pretty sure yer wastin a good chance to strike the big guy down here." Didn't Derf get it? She couldn't attack someone on their turn!

"Can't attack till he's done," Undyne muttered, moving _Asgore's Lance_ around in her gauntlet. She'd get this punk, no doubt. No way was she going to mess this up. Not again.

"Now endure the force of water, _monster!_ " And again with the insults that weren't insults. Jeez, humans were bad at this. But really, it didn't matter.

What did matter was the ball of water that suddenly fell towards Undyne. Well… in front of Undyne, like on the stairs separating her and the human.

To the human's credit, little as she'd give the grease stain, the water was _loud._

She could hear the wood the stairs were made of cracking at the force of the water slamming into it, splinters of wood flying as the ball of water destroyed the staircase. That was bad, cause it was a really big staircase.

The ball didn't stay a ball, stupid as that was to say. It fell apart in front of her, rushing at Undyne like a waterfall. Actually, that was exactly what it was, a giant waterfall.

Kind of like the exact same one the human had made before. And it was supposed to stronger?

Undyne thrusted _Asgore's Lance_ forward, ready to split the wall in two, but it never struck. Mostly because the wall of water fell lower than her strike.

The waves of water crashed into her greaves, slamming into them like when she jumped into the rivers in Waterfall. She felt it through her armor, not helped by her forward thrusting posture. The human was a slime guy, but the pull was something she at least noticed.

"AHAHAHAHA!" The human started to break out laughing. Undyne quirked her good eye at him. He had to be losing his mind, laughing right now. "Fall prey to the water's cold hand!"

Well, the human wasn't _completely_ off. Undyne could at least feel the water pulling at her legs, slamming against her armor. Didn't really help that she was standing on those once-upon-a-time great stairs. But that didn't mean it was gonna do much.

She was used to running through the rivers of Waterfall and swimming up _said_ Waterfalls. This human had the strength equivalent of like a faucet head. Not only that, Waterfalls tended to be vertical, like straight up. She was standing on a stairway, that was half-way between horizontal and vertical.

It was joke to compare them.

Sides, she was Undyne, what the hell was water going to do to her? So, just to spite the human, Undyne didn't use Asgore's Lance on the water. She didn't even throw her spears at him.

Undyne just kept walking towards the slimy guy.

"What! H-Hey stop!" He shouted, voice breaking with the cry. Geeze, that was worse than forgetting a monologue. Didn't help that the human was already backing up the stairs as she walked forwards.

Undyne wanted to throw some more spears. So she did.

Raising Derflinger in the air… _BANGBANGBANGBANGBANGBANG…_ she created another dozen of her magical pikes above her head. A quick swing down with the rusted blade and they were gunning for the human at full force.

But just like before, though with a bit more crying, he threw up his stick of a wand and summoned the water back at him. Her spears hit it and fell into nothing.

At least water wasn't beating at her armor anymore.

And hey, she could keep moving.

"Stay back!" The human shouted, waving his free hand at her. His clothes, and probably fat, were shaking with the motion. "I said stay _away_!" He was running up the stairs now. Undyne didn't need good senses to hear him crying.

Why did she _ever_ think humans were a challenge?

"Gotta admit, partner," Derf spoke from her side. Had a pretty casual voice right now, especially compared to the screaming human. "You've got the 'intimidating walk' down pat. Armor really brings it together."

Undyne grinned a little at that. Alphys made her armor so that it was scary, like the monster version of a human hero's.

"Super dark, check. Silent walk, check," Derf started to list, even as Undyne continued to march through the water. It was about waist high now, but the human didn't seem to know any different tricks. Loser. "Heck, it even sounds like ya got an avalanche followin' ya!"

That was kind of the point. Human heroes had bright white armor. Undyne had her dark the unlit parts of Waterfall. Human armor was smooth as glass. Hers was spiky and rough. Human armor could be super quiet. Undyne's was loud as Tsundereplane's yelling. Humans had heroes, and she was a hero to, just to monsters.

And right now, she was gonna be the hero to her friend.

"I said _stay back!_ " The human yelled again, this time swinging his stick at Undyne. Undyne would've cared, if that had done anything up till now.

But again, like before, all it did was cause a lot of water to crash into Undyne's armor. She was all for maintaining her equipment, but he'd peel the paint off the armor if he kept up with this mess!

Sides, if he kept attacking, that meant she could just act faster. No reason to complain about that. Cause it just meant she'd get Siesta back faster. Well, Siesta _and_ the pinkette.

"No! _No!"_ The human was running up the stairs now. Undyne felt any animosity falling away at the sight. This was the human that was responsible for taking Siesta? By the Angel…

All the human history she'd seen with Alphys told her that big bads like this were supposed to be intimidating, not falling to pieces at the first messed up attack. Undyne sighed as she continued her track up the stairs…. Even if the water continued to beat against her armor.

"This is gettin' kind of sad, ain't it partner?" Derflinger spoke Undyne's thoughts. Good thing she wasn't the only one realizing how pathetic this was. "Hey, I know I said ya got the creepy walk down, but could ya… you know, run?"

Yeah, she could, but stairs here were made by humans. That meant they were really weak. Sides, they were also wet, and she knew from Waterfall that when wood got wet, it was weak.

Undyne would never admit that majority of the holes in the suspension bridge were from her jogging in her armor. Never.

"You can't defeat me!" The human kept shouting. He must have been blind and stupid, cause he wasn't exactly close to winning. Maybe the slime was getting in his eyes. "I won't _let you!"_ Aaaand he reached the top of the stairs.

Now he was running along the upper floors. Yeah, that was too much.

"Stop running," Undyne commanded as she Derflinger at the human. She pushed her magic out with it.

She turned the human's soul green.

In what she could only describe as the best part of the night, the human fell over himself, in place. Like slamming into a wall and falling straight down, the slimy human rolled over himself. His clothes flew around his body, arms spinning above his head, and knees probably bucking under his own weight.

If only she'd had a better view from the stairwell. Ah well, it didn't really matter. Not as much as getting Siesta back.

"Urk! Wha-" He shouted aloud from his spot on the floor. "What is… What is _THIS!?_ " Undyne made just up the stairs to get a better view, even if the floor cracked a little under the force of her armor.

The first thing she saw, and the only thing she really cared to see, was the human pulling at the carpet on the ground, trying to drag himself forward, and succeeding only in pulling at the fabric till it tore. His weird mustache was bent in like a dozen directions, and he was showing off just how _little_ hair he actually had.

If she weren't in a hurry, it'd be hilarious.

"You-you beast!" The slimy human yelled again at Undyne. "I said stay back, away from me! This is my _manor_. My _HOME!_ " You have not the right to harm me in it!

That might've been threatening, if the words weren't coming from a literal piece of slime crawling on the ground. It only made Undyne puller lips into a grin. Her teeth dried in the open air.

"Just a bit of magic, punk," she spoke to the human, arm clanking as she walked forward. Couldn't run now, or she'd _definitely_ break the floor to pieces. And three stories was a drop in heavy armor! It hurt! "Now just hold still for a minute, kay?" She asked kindly, cause _Asgore_ always did say to treat your defeated enemies with kindness.

And this human as defeated, no question about it.

" _NEVER_!" Except in his mind apparently.

The slimy human swung his hand at her again, the stick, or wand or whatever, still in it. Undyne sighed, already knowing she had to wait for the human to finish his attack first. Whatever, it was probably going to be some lame final move that the human had.

Maybe he'd push the water against her a little harder, or maybe he'd built a super wall around himself. Maybe he'd just blow a hole in the wall and try to crawl out of it. That'd be fun to watch at least.

But nope, he just surrounded Undyne's head in water.

Honestly, she blinked for a second. Her good eye wasn't perfect, yeah, but it didn't usually go all blurry like it did. It took her a minute to realize that she also couldn't talk right, not without releasing a bunch of bubbles.

That was what made it obvious water surrounded her head. Didn't really bother her _too_ much, not with gills at least. Kind of felt like a refresher, but she couldn't talk, or hear, or see.

The human's final attack against her was to put a pond _around_ her.

She had the idea he was laughing again. Yeah, probably. She couldn't exactly SEE what he was doing, no through the like foot of water in front of her good eye, but he did it for his last three attacks or whatever, so it wasn't that hard to predict.

But he must have been mentally ill to think this was gonna work. She was a monster from _Waterfall_. Undyne literally lived in water for the fun of it!

She let out a sigh in the water, letting more air bubbles float up and out of the water surrounding her. This was just wasting time, and Siesta needed her. That was all that mattered.

So, with a twist and stab of _Asgore's Lance_ , she made the water fall away.

The way it fell away, it was like she had just walked underneath one of the waterfalls back in the Underground. Rushing past her with its full weight bearing down on her. She'd be dumb to not admit how great it felt, but it was only a bit of water, not nearly a river's worth.

What it was though, was enough water to completely soak the upper floor of the human's house, knock more of those overly done paintings off the wall, shatter a few statues that weren't supported right, and absolutely drench the human that was controlling the water.

And soaked _was_ the right word for it.

His clothes clung the fat underneath, showing just how wide he was even without those clothes. The colors ran together into an unintelligible mess, making him even more throw-up worthy. So, pretty much, the outside matched the inside.

So that was nice.

"H… Ho… Ho-How?" He spoke breathlessly. Yeah, Undyne was used to _that_ reaction, especially from humans. Couldn't keep their gobs shut unless they were trying not to scream.

"Cause I'm stronger, better, and pissed the hell off," Undyne spoke, pointing _Asgore's Lance_ at the human.

He was crying. Wasn't hard to tell, even with all the water dripping off him.

But if there was one good thing to come out of this, Undyne could give a monologue now. That was heroes usually did at least, after they beat the villain. Beat them physically _and_ mentally. The best kind of victory.

"You're pretty pathetic, even for a human," Undyne narrowed her good eye at the shivering human. Must've bee cold in the water. "You've got magic like monsters, more space and money than any other person I know, but ya can't even give me a good fight."

If the human wanted to say something, he held his tongue well. Guess a spear to your throat would shut you up, at least for a little bit. That was good, cause it gave Undyne more room to talk.

"Cause monsters like me have been fighting all our lives. We've been getting ready for when we can leave the Underground, to live on the surface, and do all that peacefully with ourselves and you humans." Well, not humans like the slime guy, but definitely Siesta and the pinkette. They counted.

Probably the princess and the old-bearded human if she was being fair, but that was splitting scales, hair, or whatever.

"All your talk and you've just proven you ain't good enough to be a member of the Royal Guard." And that was the truth, cause Papyrus could kick this dude's butt, and he'd probably talk the whole time, too! "And just to show how worthless you are, you can't even take your defeat with grace."

" _HOW-_ " The human started to shout, snarling through the fat on his face, but stopped when Undyne pushed _Asgore's Lance_ a bit closer to his wet neck. There wasn't a shred of determination in this guy.

"Yeah, kinda like that," Undyne continued. If there was one good thing about this human, it was giving her material to talk about. "Bragging about what you can do, running from fights you started, and then tryin' to drown me. So, punk, how do ya-"

" _HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!_ "

Undyne could only quirk a brow at the explosive laughter from Derflinger.

And it really was pretty damn explosive. She lost her magic hold on the slimy human, staring down at the rusted blade with her good eye, even as his rusted voice continued to grate and cheer in the air. It wouldn't have mattered, if he hadn't interrupted her monologue.

And she was doing such a good job on that monologue!

" _HAHAHAhahahaha…_ " Okay, good, he was whining down, but he'd better explain himself soon. Undyne was all for a good laugh, but this was going a bit far, especially for a rusted sword.

"What's so _funny!?_ " the slimy human yelled again. Undyne was kinda curious, too. Just a little. Derf managed to restrain the rust of his laugher long enough to answer.

" _Hahahaha_ … _agh…_ sorry, sorry. J-Just kinda funny, really." He started off, cryptic as ever. He'd get along great with Sans, when they found him. "I don't think ya realize how silly yer bein'."

" _Silly?!_ " The human had a lot of breath in him, considering how out of breath he sounded before. Didn't the humans in the anime have a saying for that? Took his breath away?

Didn't look like he was a permanent thing, unfortunately.

"You storm _my_ manor, threaten to take _my_ staff, and you have the gall to say _I_ am being silly?!" Undyne realized the humans face was getting red. Didn't really matter, but he should get that looked at.

But Derf's answer was pretty amazing.

"Yeah, cause you're usin' water ta drown a fish!"

Oh. Oh yeah! He was!

Undyne didn't even think much of it till he said it. The human was using magic, yeah. Magic that used water, uh huh. And he was trying to keep her under water, despite the fact the fact that she literally lived under a _waterfall_.

That was pretty funny.

It was funny to make Undyne chuckle. Her chest shaking like she just finished a new bench-pressing record. It was funny cause, by the Angel, it was _true!_

The slimy human really was trying to drown her, and that was hilarious!

" _Ha!_ I knew I'd get ya ta like my jokes, partner!" Derf's rusty voice bellowed with pride. Undyne's voice just bellowed with laughter. She couldn't get over it! The human was trying to drown a fish!

But… it got even better!

"Yeah, guess you could call him a lil' _wet_ behind the ears!" Derf went on with his words. Undyne felt her lips pulling into a wider grin as she leaned on Asgore's lance. "That or he's a real _wash_ out." Both were true!

"I-Is that quite enough!" Undyne's smile fell, happy thoughts gone.

The human was trying to stand up, trying being the important word. It'd be _way_ too generous to say that he was trying to look intimidating. He was just getting more and more disgusting. Didn't help that he was sopping wet in heavy clothes. It reminded Undyne of the kids in Snowdin that came to visit.

Really didn't help the gutless human was trying to stand up. Again, trying being the operative word. It was like watching a baby trying to stand up, the way the human kept slipping on his wet clothes and the ground, all the while scowling up at Undyne.

Would've been adorable, if he wasn't trying to hurt one of her friends. That just pissed her off.

"You-You have _invaded_ my home! You _attacked_ me for not giving you what you _wanted_! A sick disgusting mutation like yourself, attempting to harm me like some-"

_BANG!_

Undyne pointed Derf right at the human, making a spear appear above the crying human. She saw him look up in shock, again.

_Flowp!_

Just before falling flat on his butt. Again, would've been funny, if she weren't so _massively_ pissed off.

"Hey!" Undyne shouted at the slimy human. He curled like the snails on Napstablook's farm. It was pathetic, to think that humans like this were once a threat to monsters. "Stop cryin' about your slip up, ya got-"

Undyne was interrupted by Derflinger. Specifically, she was stopped by the magic blade howling with laughter. Her tight grin twisted into a scowl, teeth running over her lips as she held the rested blade up. Problem was, he wasn't letting up.

"Derf," Undyne growled at the blade. She ignored the human shivering at the sound. "Much as I like hearin' ya have a good time, ya mind tellin' me what's so funny?" The blade took raspy… breaths? Did sword's take breaths? Whatever the blade took, it started to calm down in its rusted laughter.

"Sorry, hee, sorry there partner," the blade spoke back. "Just didn't see ya as the sort ta crack a pun like that. And it was a solid A in my book!" Pun? What pun?

"What the heck are you talkin' about?" Undyne asked Derflinger. The sword just kept giggling. "Puns are your thing, all I'm doin' is reminding the human he made a mistake."

"Hey, that ain't it," the sword spoke up again. "You said he _slipped_ up. Get it?" Undyne didn't get it. "The human _slipped_ , that's why he's in a puddle of water!"

Undyne looked back at the slimy human, the human that was drenched in the water his magic had made, completely soaked… because he had slipped up.

Huh… that was… kinda funny, actually.

Funny enough to get Undyne to smirk at least. Yeah, it was pretty funny, but that was an accident, and you don't accidently get something right. That was like saying you accidently built a house. You didn't do that, you found them!

No, if she was gonna crack a joke like Derf, Undyne was going to do it right. If she was gonna crack a pun at the human, she was gonna do it _her_ way, cause that was the best way.

 _Asgore_ never let her forget that.

"I didn't make a pun, Derf," Undyne spoke up, grinning toothily at the blade. The human was still shivering. "I ain't the _swords_ of monster ta do that!"

For a moment, there was absolute silence.

It was just Undyne grinning at a rusted sword while a slippery-as-slime human stared up at them. It was just a monster waiting for Derflinger to say something, just to prove she had actually tried. Be really disappointing if she was funnier when she wasn't even trying

But a rusted chuckle from the blade began to take the air. It made Undyne's usual grin broaden till she felt her gums drying in the air.

"hahahAHAHA!" The sword started to crack up. "I knew ya were the best partner! Never had a pal that could crack puns like that! They kept actin' like it was a _guard's_ their rules!"

Undyne started to bark with laughter, chest rumbling beneath her armor. She heard the human groaning on the ground. What a bonus it was.

But like heck was she gonna get out punned by a sword! Not after she'd sat around Sans for Angel knew how long. She had to be a master of this at this point. Alphys always said she was strong, smart, _and_ funny!

"Then ya had some lame partners!" Undyne roared back, grinning all the while. She had to do something to show Derflinger that she was better than him at it. Thankfully, if Sans taught her anything with skeleton puns, it was that you had to be relevant.

_BANG_

So Undyne made a spear slam into the ground just in front of the human.

"Cause it ain't _pike_ me to leave a friend hangin'!"

Derflinger let loose with laughter, his rusted shell scratching the air as the blade shook with his bellowing. Undyne joined him, holding him easily. He was strong, but Undyne was stronger… _and funnier!_

"You're destroying my home… desecrating it…" the human groaned through their laughter. It was almost enough to make Undyne puke. Couldn't the human do anything else by cry and do magic. He was a big slimy baby!

A big slime ball that was trying to stand up while drenched in water. Undyne's laughter tapered off with Derflinger's as the human stood, even puffing out his chest at her.

It was settled for Undyne. Humans were big obnoxious babies, with one in every hundred worth being friends with. Good thing she'd found two already.

"Leave! Before…" Undyne glared down at him, losing her good will. Looked like humans had enough determination do that at least, lot of good it did them. Maybe she'd _really_ break his legs now, just to shut him up. "Be… fore…"

"Careful there buddy," Derflinger spoke up through the human's dumb rambling. "You've already _wet_ yourself once tonight!"

And just like that, Undyne was laughing again. And the human was even groaning again, maybe a bit of crying. So it was back to perfection! So Undyne _had_ to join in! There was no way she could just ignore Derf having all the fun!

"Let 'im talk. Not like he can _wash_ me out!" Derflinger was grinning. Maybe, it felt like it at least.

"Pretty sure he _katana_ stop you!" Undyne grinned broadly at Derflinger

"Might _trident_ still!" She leaned her head back to roar with laughter.

"I'm _shamshir_ the guy doesn't stand a chance!" Derf shook in Undyne's grip.

"Please… stop… it's too much," the human begged on the ground. Did he have a problem with jokes? _Too Bad_ for him! These were great! Human just didn't know comedy.

"He wouldn't be the _lance_ to try!" The human groaned again as Undyne roared with laughter.

"Yer right. He'd should be _gladius_ still alive!" Undyne started slapping her armor with her laughter. It echoed through the chamber.

"He ain't getting' outta here without something ta _spear_!" Derflinger roared in return. Undyne did her best to not drop the sword as she laughed.

"Probably should _cutlet_ losses and get outta here, huh?"

"Just stop! It's too much!" The human was _writhing_ on the ground like he was being strangled. It would've been annoying… if it weren't so hilarious! "Your insistent mockery of the very language by which we speak is more humiliating than anything else you've done thus far!"

So, the human did have a spine. What, no, he was crying. Was he crying? Yeah, he was crying. Undyne get her grin and a bit of her laughter as she leaned over the slimy guy. Maybe it was the water he was lying in, but it did look like he was crying. Man, these humans were _extra_ pathetic.

"C'mon, you can't be serious here?" Undyne stood to her tallest, balancing Asgore's lance over her pauldrons. She kept her eye on the human, water still dripping off his slimy clothes. "I bet the crap outta your guards, took yer magic, sort of magic, like a champ, but crackin' some jokes are what's doing you in?"

"Th-They are!" The human managed to speak up. Undyne had to pull her head back. The human looked rabid, kinda like the Snowdin dogs if Sans threw a bone over their head, or Papyrus wanted to practice with them. "They are some of the most horrific jokes I have ever had the displeasure to hear. Washing away all of the nobility to our language through… through _crude_ remarks."

"Really? That's the worst of it?" Derflinger asked. Undyne grinned, already hearing the cheer in the sword's voice. He was gonna say something funny, she knew it. "Cause after givin' you a wash down, I'd call a few good puns a _drop_ in the bucket!"

There it was!

And Undyne started to beat the butt of Asgore's lance into the ground, doing everything she could to not fall to her knees in laughter. Derf was the _best!_ But Undyne _knew_ she could do better!

She just had to crack a joke so good, it'd get all the rust off of Derflinger in an instant. It'd brighten him so much he'd be good as new and screamin' with laughter louder than Shyren could sing! And she just had to-

"Undyne!"

She turned to see the pinkette was back. Specifically, back without a scratch on her. Dirt, but that was probably from walking all day. Wasn't funny, not good material either, but Undyne wasn't complaining, right now at least.

That was good, great actually. Her uniform was a little dirty, yeah, but she looked about as angry as she usually did, at least before all this stuff started to happen. She even had her hands on her hips and was scowling.

"Are you _punning_ the Count into submission?!" Honestly, Undyne hadn't really realized until the brat said it… but yeah, she kind of was. And to hell if that wasn't a funny question!

But that was just what she needed for a joke!

"Hey, ain't it better than _pommel_ ing him?" Undyne yelled back. "Cause I know it's still _pun_ ishing him!"

Derflinger barked laughter into the air, shaking until thought dropping him would be a safer bet than holding him still. She was yelling with him, cause it was the best laugh she'd had in weeks!

All she heard were groans of pain from the sleazy human, probably getting ready to pass out. The wuss, at least the pinkette just growled.

"C'mon, it's funny," Undyne yelled back to the pinkette. She was grinning while she did it. How couldn't she be? This was a blast! "I even got ta show this bum's he's still _wet behind the ears!_ "

Derf laughed with his rusted voice, but the pinkette only started to seethe. Eh, her loss was Undyne's gain. Especially given how the human was moaning like he was struck.

Instead of yelling back at her though, the pinkette just sort of turned around. Well, ninety degrees, but enough that she wasn't facing Undyne anymore. She was looking around a corner or something, probably at someone.

"Oh wait, don't you encourage _that_ behavior!" Undyne's grin twisted at the statement. Her good eye looked at the pinkette. She didn't need to worry about the washed out human. He wasn't getting up soon.

The pinkette was looking around the corner alright, the hallways she probably had come from. Guess that answered where she went in all of this. But… oh, wait. Did she actually do what she was saying she was going to do? Did she find Siesta?

"But… Sir Undyne was simply… _very_ humorous!" It was her! Undyne knew that voice!

And like one of those cheap shows the robot did at MT, the human maid walked out from behind the corner, a grin on her face and hands folded over her chest. Undyne knew that human!

"Siesta!" she yelled out. The human's head whipped towards her, eyes brimming. Undyne knew that look, it was the same look she got from the Monster Kid and Alphys.

She got that from everyone who was happy to see her.

" _Undyne!_ " The maid yelled as she ran forward. Undyne watched, mouth pulled into her broadest grin, as the human lifted her dressed to run faster. She was okay! She was _alright_.

She wasn't too late. Undyne… she made it. It was pretty impressive, actually, how fast Siesta made it over to her. She didn't look too concerned about stopping though.

Undyne realized why when the human jumped with open arms.

Literally.

She almost missed how fast Siesta jumped up, wrapping her arms around her neck. In the same instant, her head pushed into the scales of Undyne's neck. Her arms squeezed around Undyne, holding the human in the air. That tended to happen when you were head's height taller.

Sure, Siesta wasn't all that strong, so it didn't hurt. But Undyne was.

So Siesta running and jumping on her must have felt like running into a wall. No _way_ her armor helped.

"You're okay." Undyne heard Siesta mumble into her neck. Felt it, too. Felt kind of nice, like those back massagers Alphys had in her lab. "You're standing, you're in your armor, y-you're…"

It wasn't by much, but Undyne felt the maid grip her arms tighter.

Wasn't nearly enough to be dangerous or anything. Sides, Undyne wasn't nearly dense enough to miss what was going on. She wasn't Papyrus, or the Snowdin dogs… or Papyrus.

Carefully, she pushed Derflinger back into his sheath, the sword not speaking a word of protest. When he was in place, Undyne put her gauntlet on the human's head. Sort of. She was holding it there, but it was still touching Siesta's head. That counted.

"Yeah, I'm better," she affirmed for the human. She lightly scratched her dark hair, least without _actually_ scratching her. That would hurt. "Looks like you're all set, too. Ya got _no_ idea how glad I am for that."

She doubted any of the humans would. No way any of the punks in the room got it. Undyne gripped Asgore's Lance a bit tighter… the same time she continued to lightly pat Siesta's head.

The human was okay. She was all good.

"Believe me, Undyne, she does." Undyne looked up the pinkette with her good eye, seeing the punk watching them with crossed arms and a cocky grin.

Wasn't that Undyne's look? Was the punk trying to steal her look? Nah, she didn't have the teeth for it.

"Wait… _she's_ the commoner you wanted?!" Undyne rolled her head back and growled at the voice. The human was as slimy as Papyrus's cooking, loud as him too, but with _none_ of the charm and kindness. That was a deal breaker.

Undyne twisted her head to stare at the human, still drenched in water, standing with clenched fists. Would have been funny, if Undyne didn't want to throw a spear at him. Maybe a pun would do, since he seemed to hate those.

"I _thought_ you were coming here for… for… _any_ one else!" He was attempting to stand again. Still slipping over himself while doing it. It was kind of funny now, mostly because he was about as threatening as Snow in Hotland.

"Who do ya think is worth more than Siesta?" Undyne asked. One eye was all she needed to stare down the human. Hell, she probably could have done it with one. "Cause there's no way there's anyone here better than her."

But the water must've been blinding the slime ball or something, because he just kept on talking.

"Why would I _possibly_ hold her in such high regard!?" He was loud, and annoying. Undyne couldn't tell which was worse. No, wait, yes she did. Whichever one was making Siesta shake. "She is _new!_ She knows nothing of my duties or schedule! I would have _gladly_ traded her if you had asked me!"

"He's gotta start thinking before he talks, huh partner?" Derf asked from behind Undyne. Not a big mystery why. Not when he kept talking about her friends like that.

"I _thought_ you were here to take a servant whom had served the _queen_ , or maybe _other_ kingdoms!" He kept trying to look tough, leaning his head back like he was imposing. Undyne was just having a harder and harder time believing humans were a threat, especially if this guy was supposed to be a big deal.

"Why in the Founder's name would you think-" the pinkette started to ask, but the slimy cut her off.

"Because at least then there would be _some_ logic to running in here with the intent for harm!" He held out his hands like he was making a point. All he did was splash a bit more water around.

That must've been cold. Not like she would care.

"It is _much_ easier to replace a new servant than an experienced maid! And servants under the queen would have knowledge of their daily activities, interests, and nearly anything else you'd need to gain their favor! Those servants are worth their weight in _gold_! Unlike this average commoner!" He was still spraying water everywhere, like he was a brat in a tub.

He kind of was.

"You're crossing some serious lines calling Siesta average, slime ball." Undyne snarled her lips at the human. Sure, it usually made them wear the typical dumb human expression, but that was better than insulting Siesta. "Better pull it back, unless you want me to go off again."

"I will _not_ refrain from pointing out your massive flaws in logic!" He was literally stomping on the ground. Like brat. He was more of a brat than the pinkette. This was a literal tantrum, from a brat.

Were humans an _actual_ threat before? A thousand years did _not_ help them out.

"If you had mentioned that girl." Undyne pulled Siesta bit closer as the slimy human pointed at her. "Then I would have requested some _small_ compensation for her! Coming in with spears, and armor, and _monsters_ I thought you were attempting to rob me!"

"Yeah, but… uh…" Undyne heard the pinkette's voice pitter off a bit. She wasn't too surprised to hear that. The slime ball did have a point, kind of.

Sort of. Maybe just a little one. Maybe she went a little _too_ far. But it couldn't have been that bad.

"And now because of your _incompetence_ , you have _destroyed_ my manor and _maimed_ my guards!" Or yeah, that was kind of bad. When did the slime ball start having good points? "Are you aware of the _DAMAGES_ this will cost me! I _demand_ compensation for your ludicrous acts!"

Well, to be fair, Undyne was warned against this. And maybe it was just because Siesta was here, but she was starting to care. Just a little though, not a lot.

The human was still a slime ball, pretty much everything that proved humans were _not_ a threat anymore. Not a single ounce of determination in him, just bratiness mixed with pompousness. Alphys would probably have a word for that, like the complete opposite of kawaii.

Yeah, like opposite sides of the surface.

"Count Mott," the pinkette started to talk again, stepping in front of Undyne. Probably to keep her from impaling the human. "I am deeply sorry for the damages done to you and the heinous nature in which you were treated." That was too much of an apology.

"Hey, pinky, c'mon. You know what he-" Undyne cut herself off as the punk whirled on her, hair pretty much billowing like a skirt. She had good eyes though, nice and sharp.

"And I assure Undyne and I _will_ compensate you!" Why was she screaming? No, scratch that with a pike, why was she screaming at _her_? Maybe she went a little all out, but it wasn't _that_ bad!

"I-I have some currency saved," Siesta spoke up. Undyne looked down at her, eyes widened at the suggestion. The heck was she offering to pay for? She was the one in trouble!

"I say we pay up, too." Derf too! Why was the sword trying to avoid another- oh yeah, didn't want to be an outlaw and all that. Undyne didn't understand why, it did sound kind of fun.

But that didn't matter.

What mattered was that she was being _triple-_ teamed by her sword, friend, and ally about paying some slime ball the damages to his super-home. The heck was that about? Shouldn't it be called even for all the junk he was throwing around earlier?

She wasn't sure if she should scowl at the stupidity of it all or grin at the madness. It just left Undyne with a twist grin wondering if _everything_ on the surface was this topsy-turvy.

"Undyne?" Siesta spoke her name like a question, leaning back to probably get a view of her face. Probably, because Undyne was staring the ceiling, debating if it would be a good time to scream.

It sure felt like it!

"FINE!" Undyne let out, making the pinkette and Siesta jump. She had Siesta, but the pinkette just sort of hooped in place. Undyne was careful with her metal gauntlets. "I'll pay up for _your_ stupidity! How much ya need?" She pointed Asgore's Lance at the slime ball, staring him down with her good eye. "Enough for spillin' the water, or do I got to pay the gold to get your head checked?!"

"You _insufferable_ self-entitled little-" He was reaching for his wand while he was talking, the lot of good it would do. Undyne was almost praying he would. A fight would be _so_ much easier than trying to stay on this human's good side.

" _UNDYNE_!" That almost made her jump.

The pinkette was louder than thunder when she wanted to be. Guess that was the benefit of being a punk, no restraints included. Speaking of, the pinkette took a step forward reached up for the spike of her pauldron, just managing to reach it. She must've been trying to get her to lean, probably to whisper something.

It took that long for Undyne to realize that brats were also kids. Guess that explained that.

Sighing, with her good eye still on the slime ball of a human, Undyne leaned down to the pinkette. Siesta leaned over to follow suit. When she was close enough the punk started to whisper, cupping a hand around her mouth.

"Need I remind you that Count Mott has influence with not only other nobles, but also the royalty of Tristian?" Given how much it was talked up, by him, not really. "If we do not leave here on good terms, he may do may spread enough ill will about us to make searching for the Underground _impossible_."

Undyne was starting to hate the slime ball increasingly.

"We have to compensate for him with both action _and_ words," The pinkette continued. Undyne felt Siesta shift closer into her armor. Given how touch the stuff was, that couldn't have been comfortable. "Or else he may take matters in a different direction."

The surface was turning out to be like one of those bad anime Alphys used to show her, Undyne realized. Started off all great and loveable and cheery, with lots of action and suspense, maybe some gore.

Then it turns around and throws you a bunch of what-the-hell rules to make you wonder what was going on. This was that, to a T, as Asgore would say.

"FFFFFFffffffffffffffffffffffffine," Undyne seethed through her enlarged teeth. It got the pinkette to back off at least. Slowly, Undyne moved Siesta off of her. Not away, oh no, not even close. Just enough so that Undyne was between her and the slime ball. "What do ya need, an apology?"

"That would be a _fine_ place to start." And he was _still_ trying to look intimidating. It just wasn't working out!

Undyne pinched the bridge of her nose, blowing air through her nostrils. This human, weaker than the monster kid, had taken Siesta, joked about it, gotten his butt whooped, and was trying to act like he was the greatest thing on the Surface.

Undyne was clenching her jaw so tight that she could probably bite through steel. Well, faster than usual at least.

"I'm… sorry…" she spoke through her teeth, hissing the words. Asking Sans for help wasn't this hard!

"For…" Undyne glared at the slime ball with her good eye, scowling until she felt her gums drying in the air.

If him suddenly shaking with wider eyes was anything to go by, it got him to shut up, at least a little. That was a heck of a lot better than hearing the slime ball ask for more. Not like he'd get it.

"Don't push yer luck there buddy," Derf spoke from her back. Least he managed to keep a _cool_ head… Undyne kept that one to herself. "Just let us give ya somethin' for the mess and we'll be outta here."

"A-And what you… offering." Least he was picking his words better, even if her fist in his face was probably the best thing she could give him. "It must be something, um, _considerable_ to make up for this… all…"

And just like that he was wearing the typical dumb human expression. Undyne just scowled at it. Why? Why now?

Why were these humans always putting on that dumb expression instead of just talking? And then they go and make really stupid decisions like taking her friends away from her and bragging about it.

But was probably worse, and that was a strong probably, was the smug look of superiority the human put on next. Was the beat down on him not strong enough? She could fix that.

"Monster, I will forgive all your trespasses and damages," the slime ball began. That was… actually pretty good. Problem was, Undyne had seen enough anime to know where this was going. Probably right where she wouldn't let it. " _If_ you give me the lance you bear."

Two points for the Royal Guard Captain.

"No. Way. In. _Hell!_ " Undyne slammed Asgore's lance on the ground for good measure, snarling at the human piece of slime. She was decently sure she was growling before, but right now, she'd probably get even Papyrus to back off. And she didn't care for a moment.

"That is an outlandish request, Count." The pinkette was on her side too on this one, apparently. At least the way she seemed to step forward with balled fists. "As a noble, you are doubtlessly aware of what Sir Undyne his holding." When she'd become a sir again?

"I do," the slime ball kept talking, looking like he was better than them even with water dripping off him. The shivering was not helping. "And I believe the Staff of Destruction would be a wonderful item to possess, and something worth more than enough to forgive damages to my home and staff."

Least he knew _Asgore's Lance_ was priceless. Still though, it wasn't happening.

"Yeah, I'm gonna have ta agree with my partner on this one," Derf spoke from her back. Good thing he had that. "Maybe yer behind the times, swimming against the current 'n all, but yer askin' fer more than ya deserve."

"From what I can see, it is likely the source of your power." Undyne didn't know if she should stay pissed off or laugh at the joke. She opted for pissed off. "Offering me the source of your strength would be adequate compensation."

Was the slime ball seriously trying to look intimidating still? Maybe she should just kick his –

"What of…" The pinkette started and stopped. Undyne looked at her, ready for the punk to go on, but she didn't.

Instead, she was just looking forward, looking the exact opposite of how most humans did. That is, she was gripping her fists and biting her lip as she stared at the slime ball. What was she thinking?

"What of… my wand?" the brat held up her piece of stick with the question.

Siesta gasped behind her, because apparently that was a pretty big deal. Even the slime ball looked like he was considering it. What, were those things worth a lot or something? They were pieces of wood. But if it worked, who was she to judge?

"An interesting offer," the human spoke. Guess the wand was worth something. "The token of your nobility, a sign of your mage craft, something… cherish able." Oh crap, was that what that thing was?

Undyne felt something deep grow in her chest. Guess that was worth something, and like hell if that didn't matter. It mattered to the pinkette, a lot. And the punk was risking enough for her.

What kind of monster would she be to ask more from the human? She wouldn't be one!

"Pinky, you don't gotta do that," Undyne spoke up.

"Why not!?" Undyne blinked at how fast the pinkette whirled on her.

Her scowl fell until just a few of her teeth were sticking out from her lips. It was as close as Undyne could get to being closed lip.

"Why shouldn't I be willing to risk my nobility? Y-You have lost more than I, and it would be a disgrace to the queen for me to be u-u-unwilling to offer as much as my fellow ambassador!" She was rambling, poorly, and she was about to cry. Double dammit all to the deepest pits of the void!

"I said you ain't doing that!" Undyne growled back. "Punks like you gotta realize when you're given' away too much, and trust me Pinky, _that's_ too much." She pointed a sharp digit of her gauntlet at the twig in the human's hand.

But the pinkette, praise or not, didn't even flinch. It was always something with the girl.

"It is _my_ tool!" The pinkette yelled back. "It was given to me for _my_ use for _my_ activities and is _my_ responsibility! If I want to use it to replay a debt to another noble, then it is _my_ decision to make!"

"And it ain't your mess ta clean up!" Undyne yelled back. She was nose-to-nose with the punk, but she wasn't even shirking away. She'd be impressed, if she weren't so pissed off! "Ya did me a solid finding Siesta, so I'm not 'bout to tell ya to give up somethin' that's _apparently_ a big deal for you!"

"And I will not be idle and allow you to hand over the staff of your king!" She wasn't going to do that! "Because you've suffered enough!"

Wait… what…

Undyne didn't know what to say, at all. It was like Papyrus was asking her to join the guard again. A sack of bones that preferred to give hugs over blows. Or if Sans actually asking for work. It was just too stupid or impossible to say anything back.

So how the hell was this pink punk managing it?

"I've… I've only been receiving blessings since you arrived, but you've only been offered poorer and poorer news. That is something someone as great as you does _not_ deserve!" She was great now? "So if I can give _something… ANYTHING_ to assist you… I-I'll do it."

It was getting hard to tell up from down, figuratively. This was the same punk that was yelling at her for not behaving, and then screaming at others for not doing more. The same brat that was getting mad at humans for getting angry at her.

But now she was doing… this… It wasn't even close to fair in Undyne's book, and that was the only thing that mattered right now.

And fair meant that all of her friends were happy.

"Hey, I got an idea," Undyne spoke again, a bit calmer. Asgore did say monsters listened better when you were calm. It did keep the pinkette from yelling at least. "I got somethin' else I can give the guy. Somethin' I don't even need."

"Hey, partner, if this is 'bout wantin' to talk first, I'm sorry about that." Undyne gave the rusted blade over a shoulder a hard look with her good eyes. The hell was he talking about? "Much as I don't wanna be an outlaw blade again, pretty sure rustin' away in some basement ain't gonna do my metal any good."

"C'mon, you're my pal too, Derf," Undyne spoke again. "And that's one thing I _really_ ain't given up. At all."

She made sure to flash a bright smile at Siesta, showing off every tooth in her mouth. Asgore did always say brighter smiles made better friends. Least now she could do was show the humans, and sword, that they were her friends.

And friends didn't let other friends get hurt.

"Hey, slime ball!" Undyne narrowed her eyes at the human. Had to keep the grin though, otherwise she'd look like she was faking good will.

And hey, it was sincere enough to get the human to flinch. That wasn't exactly a hard thing to do, but still, bonus!

_SLAM_

The humans jumped when she slammed the butt of Asgore's Lance into the ground. The place was as flimsy as the rest of the human-made junk, so it was easy to break. No way Asgore's lance would. All it did was free up an arm.

"I got somethin' I _know'll_ make up for the mess!" Undyne reached up and undid the clasp for Derf's sheath. She heard the sword go off before she grabbed him.

"Hey! Partner!" He started off, but didn't go much further than that. Course he wouldn't, not when Undyne was handing him off to the pinkette.

The punk took a second, looking at the blade like it was something creepy, but she did grab him, thankfully. Would've been hard to pull off the cool vibe if her friends wouldn't even play along.

"I ain't given you Asgore's Lance or the pinky's wan." She ignored the huff from the pinkette. It was better than her interrupting. "But I got somethin' else you're gonna be droolin' at the mouth for." And with a slime ball like him, that'd be easy.

"What else is there?" The human asked, like he wasn't still drenched and shivering. "What more could a monster like you have to compensate for the damages you have wrought?" Undyne didn't attempt to suppress her grin for a moment.

Not even as she began to strip away her armor.

" _THIS!_ " She let out, holding up the chest plate to her armor. "I'm gonna give ya the armor from the _Captain_ of Asgore's _Royal Guard_. No way you humans have got jack to compare to it." And she knew that was the truth, not with how flimsy everything they made was.

"Undyne! You can't!"

"That's a lot to give, partner."

"this is worth far less!"

God thing they waited till she was done talking to interrupt. Would've ruined her monologue if they hadn't. But it wasn't like that was going to change her mind.

"That is… intense looking," the human began, pathetically. Like extra pathetic. Like she could see him drooling even when drenched in water. "But how can I assure that it worth the damage to my home and the maid you wish to take- AGH!"

He yelled when Undyne tossed the armor at him. He yelled even louder when it fell into the floor, like a good hand's length.

"Take a look at it yourself." Undyne wanted him to check the armor. Actually she just wanted to shut him up, but two birds with one stone or whatever the expression was. "If you can lift that up, I'll one of my teeth!" She made sure to keep her grin.

"Uh, um… no-no, that's, ugh, q-quite alright." And the slime ball was back. "I-It must be extraordinarily heavy. What is it… smelted from?"

"Dunno?" Undyne answered with a shrug. She really didn't. That was the nerd stuff Alphys and Asgore were good with, the Royal Scientist and all that gaze. She just wanted the cool armor.

Speaking of…

She started to unhook her pauldrons and gauntlets, letting her scales breath again as the heavy steel was taken off. It felt good, like it usually did… but it also felt different. She couldn't really tell why.

"Sir Undyne," the pinkette spoke, because of course she was a 'sir'. "Are you sure of this? Because you may never take your armor back." Oh yeah, maybe that was why.

It could be her list time Undyne wore armor.

She took a long look at the gauntlet she had unclasped, holding the dark metal at her chest height. It was as spiky and BA as she remembered, just as cool as the first time she got it. Fit like a glove and moved like it was a part of her.

But then she looked at Siesta. A human she'd known for maybe a week at best. Hardly a warrior and pretty damn far from the determined humans Asgore warned her about. But still someone that cared about her. Like a kid that ran into danger, just to see their hero.

Damn if the answer wasn't obvious.

"Hey, I'm the one doin' the saving right now," Undyne put her bare thumb to her chest, the fabric of her tank top slipping against her scales. "That's means I'm the one payin' for the damages. Ain't right if the damsels start covering the cost."

Siesta turned red, like Alphys after a bad scene in an anime. And that was just before she slammed her head against Undyne's chest, hiding herself again. It was actually pretty funny to watch. The pinkette had done that before, too. Now though…

"I am not some fairy tale _damsel_ , Undyne!" The brat stomped her foot with the statement. Funny, because Undyne dropping her boot made as much of an impact.

Sure, she was tossing them at the slimy human with the _vague_ thought of crushing of him, but still, effort mattered.

"I am a _noble_ , I am the ambassador of humans to the _monsters_ , and I will not allow you to be _burdened_ in such a way while you are _here_!" The pinkette kept yelling. "What kind of leader would I be if I expected you to give the clothes from your back!"

Was she crying? Nah, must have been the splashing water go on her face. Derf even had some on him, Siesta too. Throwing her armor at puddles of water would do that. Speaking of, she was about done. No wait, she was done.

"There!" Undyne yelled, grinning with her doubtless success. "That armor is worth its weight in gold!" And it really was in the Underground. "That'll make up for this, am I right?"

She expected an answer, but Undyne pretty quickly realized she wasn't going to get one, not likely.

Not when the slime ball was trying to pick up her gauntlet.

He had his slimy fingers wrapped around the digits of the claw, grabbing at it like some brat with greedy palms. Crouched over the puddle he was still standing in, he was leaning back to even budge the steel. But he wasn't! And that was hilarious!

This human couldn't even budge a single piece of her armor!

"Guess he's _weighing_ the situation, eh partner?" Derf's comedic timing couldn't have been better.

Undyne let her head fall back as she roared with laughter. Scaly arms firm on her hips as her chest bellowed with the noise. She sucked in deep breaths of air just to let them out with screams of laughter.

And it wasn't just her! She could feel Siesta chuckling against her scales, probably trying to hide her own laughter. Derf wasn't having that, cause the rusty guy was squeaking at his own joke.

Cause by the angel if it wasn't hilarious!

"Nagh! No!" She heard the pinkette scream herself. "No more jokes! Not right now!"

"Haha, aw c'mon punk," Undyne spoke as she lowered her head, laughter still rolling in her throat. "If yer not laughin' at good jokes, yer just full of _iron_ y!"

And the laughter went on.

So did the screams.

"Enough! _Enough!_ " The slime ball was yelling. Whatever, he had his hands full. Undyne snorted at that, too. "This will do, so long as you leave before you desecrate our language even once more!"

Wait, seriously? That easy?

"Heh, just like that?" Derf spoke her thoughts, voice squeaking as he was being held by the pinkette. "Usually yer supposed to-GMFFFF."

Anything Derf was going to say was shut-up as the pinkette slammed him into his sheath. Undyne just kinda blinked at the display.

The human definitely wasn't strong, but she might have some kind of determination in her. Least there were traces of it.

"Thank you Count Mott for your kindness," she bowed at the human. And determination gone, just a fluke. "We will make haste to leave."

The pinkette spun on her heal, thrusting Derf into Undyne's chest. Yeah, it was about as forceful as the wind in Snowdin, but it was kinda hard to miss the point. Sides, not like it was a bad time to hit the road.

Especially not when she got what she came for.

"Guess that's our que," Undyne strapped Derf to her back as she spoke. Her eyes weren't on the kickass blade though. Oh no, they were on the human she'd come here for. The one that was looking up at her now with a questioning gaze.

That didn't last long.

"Y-Yes!" She replied eagerly, smiling brimming across her face. "I believe it is!" And then the smile began to glow.

Undyne was right. It was the perfect decision to come here.

_Snap. Click._

"Then c'mon," Undyne spoke up, clasping Derf's sheath over her shoulder as she lifted Asgore's Lance from the ground. That left her an arm free to pick the maid up. Her face was hilariously bright. "We gotta an adventure ahead of us!"

"You said it, partner!" Derf spoke up from her back. She didn't look at him, but she grinned all the same. She kept her good eye on Siesta as she did so, the human who was _so_ worth giving up her armor for.

But Siesta was starting to put on that typical human expression, the wide eyes and wide mouth. That was just not going to happen. No, Undyne had just saved a friend, and it was gonna end like the other parts of human history!

And she knew just how to do it.

"Wh- _UNDYNE_!" The maid yelled out as Undyne lowered her arm, stopping when the crux of her elbow was below the maid's waist. Good thing she was frozen solid, or else this would've been a lot harder. Harder to get right that was.

Cause with a good extension of her legs, Undyne picked Siesta off the ground and onto the bicep of her arm. She held the maid up like her arm was a chair.

And that's how human history always ended, with the night carrying the princess out in his arms. Well… on her arm here, but close enough.

"I got ya," Undyne spoke up to the maid, staring at the dark-haired human with her good eye. Siesta's face was a hot-red, a better human look, lot better than the typical human look. "Trust me, yer not goin' anywhere else."

And the smile the maid gave in return was worth it.

And if it wasn't, somehow, then watching the slime ball of the human fall over trying to lift one of her gauntlets was. These brats on the surface sure weren't the strong humans Asgore told her about, but damn if they weren't hilarious!

"C'mon!" Undyne let out as she jostled her shoulder. The maid gripped her flexed arm with a sound she'd heard a _lot_ in the anime shows. Guess that meant she was doing things right. "It's time to go."

And so, Undyne left. Without her armor, without her helm, and without a good amount with what she came in. She knew that, even as she heard the slime ball fall again trying to lift the metal up.

But really, it didn't matter. Because she was leaving with something worth a whole heck of a lot more.

Friends were funny that way. And other ways.

* * *

"Do… Do you even realize how-ugh, _crazy_ that was?" the pinkette looked like she was having a harder time with it than Undyne was. The monster just gave the human a smirk. That twisted scowl on the human was a pretty funny look.

It was probably pretty hard for the Siesta to see it on the pinkette, seeing as they were a good mile into the woods and way out of sight of the mansion. But Undyne had a good eye on her, and she could see the punk looking like she was ready to scream.

That was funny.

"The whole thing seems pretty crazy, yeah," she responded, adjusting the maid she was carrying on her shoulder.

Siesta held Undyne's flexed arm tighter, but she didn't have to worry. She was lighter than the towels after training.

" _We_ , you and I, just _assaulted_ the manor of a noble, defeated his guards with hardly a challenge, and have taken a commoner that he dutifully paid for." Undyne's smirk was pushed away for a frown. She still had a tooth or two peeking out. "Trading _all of that_ for your helm!"

"Yeah, and you're point?" The pinkette was pretty cool, helping her out so far, but she better have a point with what she was saying. The brat just shook her head widely before answering.

"Instead of besting him with magic or arms, you made him surrender because _you were making too many jokes!_ " The punk shouted the words. Well, it was kinda weird when you thought about it.

Guess that meant Undyne shouldn't think too hard on it.

"Jokes _and_ laughter, pinky," Derflinger corrected. His rusted voice was chuckling, probably at the twisted look the pinkette gave. Her face was a darker red than her hair. That wasn't healthy, probably. "And hey, I don't mind how we win, cause I'm just glad a bit of _claymore_ saved the day!"

Undyne found herself grinning again. That was pretty good. The pinkette just groaned aloud. Yeah, that was okay, too. She hadn't really been in the fight with the human, so she might not have gotten it.

"Hey, punk," Undyne spoke up to the pinkette. She looked up, only to have her eyes widen when Undyne put the palm of her hand on the brat's head.

She was careful. She had to be. The humans were pretty weak, seeing as they didn't have the determination Undyne did. She'd have to fix that with these punks, eventually. First, she had to explain something to the brat.

"Ya helped me out back there, big time," she started talking to the kid. She had big eyes, Undyne realized. "Got me here to save Siesta and even gave up yer spot back at the school."

"Wait, she did what?" Siesta spoke up. Undyne just chuckled a bit. She'd explain later to her. The human was patient.

"I lost my armor to the creep, but so what?" Undyne shrugged her free shoulder. She didn't want to throw Siesta off. "There's nothin' wrong with showin' a bit of _mercy_ if it's ta help a friend. 'Nough people have gotten hurt anyways."

And that was the truth of it.

"I… I-I didn't," the pinkette started to speak, but caught herself. She lowered her head, scratching it against the scales of Undyne's palm. Hopefully it didn't hurt. "I did not mean to imply you were in the wrong for sparing the Count. O-Or for sacrificing your belongings…"

"Good, glad we agree on that," Undyne spoke up. It was enough to get the punk to scowl again. And that was enough to get her to grin again. This was fun. Maybe that's why Sans cracked so many jokes. Or he was just a lazy sack of bones.

" _What_ I am addressing is the absurdity of _how_ you showed mercy to this… duel." She seemed pretty hesitant to call it that. Seemed like a straight forward fight to Undyne.

The slippery human was attacking her, she attacked back, she won. That was how a fight usually went.

"Um, I am actually happy with how it turned out, expect for the end." Siesta spoke up. She looked at the human still sitting on the crux of her arm. At least she seemed a little more comfortable than before. "I wouldn't want anyone being hurt for my sake. Or for them to, um… give away what they have." Ah, like that was it.

"Well you're worth it," Undyne noted. And that was the truth, too.

Siesta was her friend, no way around it. Even if her face was getting red. Was that a human thing still? Seemed to happen randomly.

"Y-Yes, thank you… Undyne," the dark-haired human smiled at her, grinning brighter than she had before. Well that was great! "And, um, do we need a place to… rest?" Weird word to hang on, at least to Undyne.

"Seeing as we are unlikely to gain entrance back to the Academy, after stealing from the Royal Vault," the pinkette let off with a mean glare at Undyne. She could do that till she lost an eye. Wouldn't mean Undyne would regret it. "We are most definitely in need of housing.

"Oh!" Siesta started. It felt like she bounced, but to Undyne, it was like a pillow being fluffed on her arm. " Because if we are in need of a place to stay, my family has a place I am sure we can rest." Whoa, they did? Points for the human!

"That would be _excellent_." Undyne almost hurt her neck with how fast she turned. The pinkette was on board for it?

The same brat that was angered by the idea of a commoner talking at all. "That would offer me much needed time to organize my thoughts. Perhaps I may be able to negotiate a meeting with the Princess."

The little punk seemed to emphasize the words by massaging her temples, gritting her teeth for good effort. Undyne showed hers with her usual grin. At least that hadn't changed.

"Least you don't have to _rapier_ this house." Undyne gave a bark of laughter. And Derf was starting to be funny, too!

"Ugh!" The pinkette didn't seem to like it. "Ignoring your _atrocious_ puns, can you co… Siesta, please tell me of where this residence is?" That was a slow catch, but a good one.

"Oh, of course your grace!" Siesta didn't seem to have dropped her own. Whatever, that didn't really matter, not at a lot at least. "My uncle owns an inn named the Charming Fairies. I know he will offer us a place to stay." Well that sounded pretty good to Undyne.

"Sweet! New place to stay, new humans to meet, sounds almost like I finally get to explore the surface!" _Asgore would like that_. Undyne didn't let her smile betray her thoughts.

"Yes, well, we had best start for the capitol then," the pinkette spoke as she turned away from Undyne and Siesta. She was already walking down the road. "If we wish to arrive before dawn, we'd best head out now."

"Sounds like a marathon to me," Undyne spoke with a grin. She'd always wanted to try one of those, but there was hardly enough room in the Underground. "All we gotta do is adding a swimming part to it. Can't get a bike out here. Hey, think we can find a river to swim in?" That got the punk to whirl on her.

"You just _swam_ through Count Mott's magic for a magic duel. You are all done with water for now!" Geez, she didn't need to get that heated about it.

Undyne followed behind the punk, the pinkette huffing as she crossed her arms and continued walking. This was all pretty fast, but that wasn't too bad. Asgore would have liked it, so Undyne wasn't against it.

Sides, with Undyne holding Asgore's Lance in one hand and her first human friend in another, not like much else could go wrong.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

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	17. Oh My Gosh! Is That A Monster!?

Louise was in the middle of a paradox.

Actually, she was in the middle of the Tristian capital heading towards the commoner's housing. She was with Undyne and the maid Siesta, or more accurately she was walking through the dark alleys of the capital at night with a monster and a Plebian. Merrily, she may add.

And this was after they had spent the previous night traversing through a forest and resting briefly at a discreet inn along the way. And _that_ was only after she and the commoner had disguised Undyne as to not scare away matron of the inn.

Now she was well-rested in the middle of the night, being led across the cobblestone streets by a commoner, and sharing in the generosity with a monster. So, metaphorically, Louise was in a paradox.

Because near every lesson her mother and father had taught her said that her actions would be the ruin of herself.

So why was so… content?

Even as she gripped at her bunched and poorly maintained cloak, already a victim to nature's elements, Louise felt an odd sense of peace, self-satisfaction perhaps. But searching her mind she could find so little to justify the feeling.

Her actions had led to Undyne revoking her armor as payment for the maid Siesta. Her inability to control a situation led to leaving the Magical Academy. And easily worse yet, she had effectively abandoned her family name by committing an act of violence against a fellow noble.

But Louise's heart wasn't skipping beats. Her voice didn't have the urge to scream. And even try as she might, she could not think of a thing she'd easily or even willingly change.

It was as odd as the talking sword.

"Ya know, I always figured human capitals would be wide awake at night," Undyne suddenly spoke. It jarred Louise's thoughts, her attention immediately on the monster. "But I guess I was hopin' too much for there to be a lot of cheerin' at night."

Was she referring to the activities of drunks and sycophants of the capital? The debauchery of the night-life? She was interested in seeing those things?

"Oh, you're familiar with night life, Undyne?" Siesta asked from her side. The maid was maybe a head or two taller than Louise, but even she had to look up to Undyne. The lack of lighting didn't help. "I'm surprised you know about that. It isn't the most… highly discussed topic amongst nobles."

"You kiddin'? Just about everything I've studied on humans says you have like a hundred times as much fun at night!" The monster spread her arms as they continued to march forward.

It was hard to see the blue of her scales, but even in the dark the monster had an imposing visage. Louise knew she could watch it without tiring.

"But all I'm seein' is a bunch of houses with their lights out and heads down!" Heads down? Oh, she must have meant sleeping. Strong as her companion was, speech was not her strong suit. "Can't say it's all bad though. Place kinda reminds me of the Underground right now."

"Because it is dark?" Louise found herself asking. She saw the red mane of Undyne's whip as she turned her head. Even with only partial starlight, her golden smile was impossible to miss.

"Exactly! It was always dark down there, 'specially when Alphys had ta do maintenance on the lights and all, but it kinda feels like that now." Louise watch as Undyne threaded her fingers behind her head, tilting back as she continued to walk forwards. "Then again, never had the stars to look up at."

Louise gave them only a glance herself. She had stared at them enough as a child, enough to know that watching alone never did anything. But then again, she was still enamored to watch the monster she had summoned.

The Captain of her kingdom's Royal Guard, bearing an powerful and ancient staff, possessing unfathomable strength, and a determination that had slipped only once, yet to recover again.

Louise knew watching alone never did any good, not unless you had something you could reach.

"I know this street…" The maid whispered ahead of her. It was just audible, given the barren streets they walked down. Her head was looking back and forth, likely searching for something.

"What's up, Siesta?" Undyne asked the maid. "Something wrong?" The words, predictably, caught the commoner's attention in a moment.

"Oh! No! Actually, just the opposite," the maid replied with a quick turn to Undyne. Her smile was far more subdued than the monster's but no less visible. "I recall this corner! I believe my uncle's shop is close by!" Well that was good news.

" _Awesome_!" Undyne cheered, loudly. Louise was already used to the volume of the monster. The dogs barking from the interior of homes, however, showed the others were not. "Then c'mon! Let's go!"

Without a fault in her step, Undyne unthreaded her fingers, knelt down, and lifted the maid off the ground with a single sweep of her powerful arm. The maid let out a sound of embarrassment at the sudden display.

Louise only sighed. This Undyne was far preferred to the one she had seen just a few days ago.

"M-Mrs-M-Sir Un-." And apparently with her display, Undyne had turned the maid into a rambling mess. She wasn't entirely to blame. Commoners likely weren't used to dealing with the strength of knights. Then again, she knew no one who was used to monsters.

"Cool your jets, Siesta," Undyne barked gayly, no doubt grinning madly. "Your about as heavy as that sack of gold!" That was actually fairly heavy, if the number of hands needed to lift such a thing was any indication to Louise.

"Th-that is, u-u-uh!" The maid's head turned quickly to Louise, looking at her over the monster's head. She had to blink to recognize the look, shrouded in the dark. Thank the Founder for the stars else, she would have missed it.

"Undyne," Louise spoke up, hurrying her steps to match her partner. "I believe Siesta is more uneasy about seeing her family again whilst being carried by you. It may be seen as improper." That was the obvious assumption any mind with half an ounce of intelligence could deduce.

But it seemed like an epiphany to the monster.

"Really? You serious?" Undyne's golden eye moved from her to the maid, looking up at the commoner sitting on her arm. Siesta refused to return the gaze. "Ah geez, sorry 'bout that."

Undyne quickly returned the Plebian to the ground, the maid making only the smallest sound of discomfort at the display. Louise was sure it was due more to the haste of the action than the contact itself. After all, the maid's red skin was a harsh contrast against the blue scaled monster.

"I-It's quiet alright," the maid responded, beating at the fabric of her dress. Her grin was visible even in the dark. "I'm sure that… you are simply excited to escape the night air."

"Dead right 'bout the excited part!" Undyne let out a cheer again. Louise let her head roll back with a quick sigh. She could hear the dogs waking their masters. At least when the monster wasn't yelling. "How can I not be pumped up, visiting a friend's home?"

She made a show of flexing her arm. The muscles bulged in a way Louise was sure would bend steel. It wasn't as if the monster lacked the strength to do so…

"Well, then I am glad you do not have any longer to wait," the maid spoke, cryptically at that. It took her a moment to realize the commoner was teasing Undyne, in a fashion she had seen the Germanian Cow do to Tabitha, from desks away. It was an odd kind of confidence, coming from a Plebian.

"We don't?" Undyne asked. Louise wasn't sure if the monster was following the joke or not. "Are we there then!?" Louise focused on the barking dogs, and the grumbling voices. They made sense at least.

"No," the maid returned, her voice sing-song. "I know my uncle's store is around this corner." Her hand pointed towards an incurious corner, even less remarkable at night. "He always reminded me it is 'about the bakery and past the winery."

Did she recognize those stores in the dark? Perhaps, but a commoner like the maid was likely more used to walking these streets.

"Then let's hurry it up!" Undyne yelled once more, to Louise's utter lack of surprise.

**WHAM**

The hand knocking her back, however, was far from what she expected. It _felt_ like the breath had been pushed from her chest.

"C'mon pinky. Bet ya can't wait to sleep in a bed, am I right?" Louise coughed to force air in and out of her lungs, glaring up at the shimmering eye of the monster. A brimming gold smile, with the teeth of a shark, stared back down at her.

Back feeling as if fire had struck it, chest with air torn from it. Her jaw worked in spasms. For now, it was simply annoying. Were she anyone else, she knew the situation would be horrifying. And painful.

"Lady Louise?" The maid spoke her name, worry in her voice. At least the commoner understood the lurching pain.

But she was not about to look weak aside her partner. Not if she was to be the ambassador for her kingdom. So she followed the monster's steel and tightened her chest.

"You are correct… Undyne," Louise spoke pausing to catch her breath. "It would be improper of nobility to be late, even for an unannounced visitation." That, and she did not want to have their faces be known to the store keepers that were likely rousing from their beds.

Approaching the street corner, they turned down the new road to see an equally unremarkable sight. Another barren street with only street lamps lit. Not a soul in sight aside from the trio.

However, Louise would be remise to not mention the larger house a small distance down the road. Not for its architecture or size. Both were subpar by the standards of nobility, and her history. Even though it was hard to judge it in the low light of the night.

But it was the only building in the city thus far to have its lights on.

Not many, to be fair, but any one was more than the multitude of homes and stores they had passed. It was possible the proprietors of the home were finishing work for the next day, but the chances seemed unlikely to Louise. Anyone with the funding for a home or store of such size would know best how to manage it. And burning candle light was not it.

"That's the place, ain't it?" Undyne asked as she pointed ahead, muscled arm pointing at the very building Louise was focused on. "Gotta be. Only one that sticks out!" What a low-level way to assume such things.

"Well… yes, it is." The maid spoke in turn. Louise turned to her, watching the commoner tuck a strand of her dark hair behind her ear. "But it is odd."

"Odd?" Louise returned. Did the commoner see the same thing she did?

"It's odd that the store is so quiet," Siesta spoke, even as she continued to walk towards it. "Uncle Scarron always has his best hours at night." That brought a dreadful feeling to Louise. It answered her question, and another she didn't even know to ask.

There was only type of 'store' that served well at star-light hours.

"Well I can't _wait_ to see what yer family's got to show!" Undyne cheered with her arms stretched for the sky. They were already nearing the front door of the building. "I bet it's got a bunch of awesome stuff. Surface stuff is always awesome!" Were it anyone else, Louise would have been concerned for such words.

"Long as yer not thinkin' of sellin' me off partner, I'm good for 'bout anything." Derflinger spoke from Undyne's back, popping from his sheath. His rusted metal did little against the glow of the candle light emanating from the windows. "Sides, I bet I'd be a _steel_ of a deal!"

It would be too kind of the Founder for him to be exchanged for gold.

"Ha! Ya would be if they gave ya more than a g _lance!_ " The monster cheered with her words, and sword squeaked through its rust to join it. It did not help that even the commoner was giggling beside them.

Louise only let out another slow sigh.

"Oh! Undyne!" Louise focused back on the maid as she hastened her pace in front of the monster. It was little wonder why. "Allow me to introduce you. The hour is late."

"What's that got to do with anything?" Undyne asked, disturbingly seriously. "They've got lights on, not like we're gonna wake 'em up or anything." That part was true, but far from what the Plebian was concerned with.

"I-I only need to introduce you, U-Undyne." The maid spoke again, grasping the handles of the main door. "It will be not but a moment, I promise!" Then, quick as she was likely the training of the Academy had instilled in her, she opened the door and slipped inside.

 _Click_.

And shutting behind her.

"Huh. Well that's weird," Undyne let out with crossed arms. Louise stopped by Undyne's side, the monster towering over her still. Without her armor, the effect was much less jarring.

That, or she was simply used to the seven-foot fish monster with teeth of gold, an eye to match, and enough strength to challenge dragons. It was certainly becoming more difficult for Louise to be surprised by any action of the monster.

"Hey, you doin' alright?" Louise looked up at the monster, the now familiar slit eye looking back down at her. "Ya seem pretty out of it. Ya tired or something?"

"Extremely," Louise replied easily. There was little use in acting strong at the moment. At least no Rules of Steel told her to lie about fatigue without a gain. "But I would be a failure as a Valliere to complain of such things before I find a place to rest."

"Heh, good morals." Undyne spoke with an audible smirk. Louise was sure the monster was grinning madly to herself, as usual. A glance upwards confirmed it.

It was the same look that showed her the red mane of the blue-scaled monster, hanging low down her back and tangling with the lance of her king, the Staff of Destruction. Louise had heard legends and tales of it since before she began at the Tristian Magic Academy.

And though it was a holy relic, she could not see it belonging anywhere else but on her partner's back.

"Punk… Louise," Undyne spoke, shifting from the odd term to her proper name. She gave the monster her full attention for it. She could see the Guard Captain rolling her shoulders as she spoke, or began to speak. "I… haven't thanked you yet for yer help before."

"My help?" Louise questioned. "I did only as I said I would. There is little to no reason to thank me for my duty." Louise dismissed the monster's words, keeping her vision focused on the shut door.

That vision was obstructed when the monster's scaly palm landed on her head, messing her pink locks.

"What the heck are you talkin' about?" the monster asked, even as she assaulted Louise. "No way does your job include kickin' my butt into high gear!"

Louise, meanwhile, was futility trying to push the monsters hand off her head. It was akin to trying to move a plow without a bull!

"Everyone else was tryin' to convince to do useless stuff. Talk, beg, and a bunch of whiny stuff that wasn't doing me any good…" Louise felt the hand on her soften, lax really. It have her an opportunity to look up at the monster.

The golden eye and sharp smile were still there, but they were far more subdued, calm even. Perhaps the word could even be thought of as melancholy.

"Louise, ya helped me get Asgore's staff back, you helped me rescue a friend. Pretty sure the only thing I can say to that is thanks." Louise felt immediately warmer, even in the cool blanket of the night.

"Y-You are quite welcome." She hastily spoke, doing her utmost to turn her attention from the monster. It did little good. "I am… positive you would do the same unto me."

"Ha! 'Course I would!" Undyne's voice grew as the strength in her hand returned. Louise felt it lift from her head, only to immediately pull her into a shoulder-to-shoulder hug more common for soldiers and knights. "Better believe I'd tear down castle walls ta help you out. Guaranteed!"

"Pretty safe bet there," Derflinger added in. Louise almost completely forgot about the sword on the monster's back. "You can call my partner a real life _saber_!"

And the laughter from the pair of odd creatures dragged Louise back to reality.

"So what do ya think is taken Siesta so long?" Undyne asked again, keeping her arm around Louise. She felt like a child next to the abnormally tall monster. "Shouldn't take that long ta tell someone we're coming in, right?"

"In normal circumstances, no," Louise agreed. But the monster was once more forgetting the important details. "But humans are far from used to creatures such as yourself, Undyne." She watched the expression of realization blossom on Undyne's scaly face.

"Oh yeah! Kinda like those guards at the slime ball's mansion!" She snapped her fingers with the words. What was the purpose of such an act. "Guess that makes sense, even if it's really rude of you guys?"

"Excuse me?" Louise questioned, looking up at the monster. Undyne's expression didn't falter. Neither did her words.

"You heard me. I've never seen a human out of the research I did with Alphys, but I'm not flippin' out about how weird you all look." Weird? Them? "Doesn't help that you're all still usin' old tech stuff. Haven't even a light bulb yet." And now they're technology?

"What in the Founder's name are you speaking of?!" Louise challenged. "Tristian is one of the most advanced kingdoms in the world, boasting some of the grandest mages and architects since the Founder's time! And you dare you say we look odd!"

"Well ya do, punk!" The monster returned to the insulting name. "None of ya have any fur, scales, extra ears, or even an elemental or two!" What on earth was she speaking of?

"No human has those qualities _because_ we are human!" She yelled back at the golden toothed monster. "We do not have the features of beasts or sharks because we are better than such things!"

"Better? What's better about being so plain?" Plain now?! Louise felt her teeth grind in annoyance. "We got monsters in the Underground that can swim in lava, sleep in the snow, breath underwater, and even those that are made up of all three!" The monster's smile got brighter with every word she spoke. Louis was just the opposite.

"And we humans, especially us nobles, have the magic to conquer all those things!" She argued in turn. "We have fortresses in the snow, moats of magma, and ships that can sail the seas effortlessly!"

"I'll believe that when I see it, pinkette." And now the other insulting name. "So far all I've got from you guys is you build things big that break easy." That was hardly a fair comparison!

"We did not build structures to withstand the strength of dragons!" Louise shouted back. "Or are you to say that all monsters of your kingdom have the strength to match your own?!"

"HA! Not a chance!" The monster flexed her arms, advertising the muscles that strained the scales of her arms. They were glowing from the light of the inn. "I'm the monster that put together half the houses in Snowdin, swim up waterfalls, and jump over mountains! There ain't a soul in the Underground tougher than me!"

"Than how can you compare the architecture's strength? It would be me no different than saying the monsters of your kingdom lack common sense!" And finally she got Undyne's grin to falter.

"What's that, punk?" The monster asking, putting her hand on her hips. With the hilt of Derflinger and the tip of the Staff of Destruction peaking over her back, it was a remarkable sight. "You calling me stupid or something?"

"I'm referring to you as dense!" Louise shouted back. "I have not your strength, but I more than make up for it with reason!"

" _Reason_?" Undyne's lips snarled at the word. Was that what she saw as an insult? "How the hell do ya say that when you don't even know how to treat a guest?"

"Now what are _you_ speaking of?" Louise questioned back. "On your arrival I gave you food, shelter, _and_ knowledge! What else is there to offer a guest!"

"How about some fun!" Undyne threw her arms out with the words. By the Founder's grace she didn't anything with them. Louise did not have the gold for damages. "I mean, yeah, it's been pretty sweet to just be on the Surface, but where's all the fun?"

Fun? That was what the monster wanted? Merriment? Well… it wasn't too abnormal. Many of the knights belonging to the high courts had evenings filled with such things, or so her mother and father had spoken of.

"I mean, we're in a freaking city by a _castle_. There's gotta be something here that I couldn't do in the Underground!" Well, she was not incorrect by the measures of logic, but Louise did not know what the monster was looking for. "How about some new food, or a movie to watch, a freaking play even, _or how about a-_ "

 **BANG!** " _Pardon me Mademoiselle!_ "

Louise jumped at the sudden sound and voice. It was hardly a mystery where they came from.

Standing in the doorway was a very auspicious man of questionable taste. A top and dress doubtlessly meant for a maiden was worn on his body, doing little to nothing to conceal the muscles of his frame. A sharpened moustache was about his lips and oiled hair, greased even, ran around the top of his head. The fullness of his lips was perhaps the most distracting feature.

After his voice.

"I offer my _deepest_ apologies and most _heartful_ gratitude for what you have done for me and my family! But I am being _most_ rude myself." Why was he waving back and forth? There was no music. Was he trying to dance, poorly?

"My name is Scarron, and welcome to The _Charming Fairies_ in!" And with the verbose declaration, the man pulled open the door.

Louise did not know whether she should cry or sigh. The place was exactly what she suspected it to be. It was obvious with the scantily clad women, all young aged and fair skinned. It was obvious by the stench of alcohol and the many rooms that made the now named inn. It was obvious, given the hours it was meant to work.

It was a brothel.

She was at a brothel with a monster from a foreign kingdom. Her mother would disown her would she ever find out Louise had set foot in such a place willingly.

Inside the tavern like entrance were women dressed in outfits that looked more befitting in forbidden novels than proper attire. Maid uniforms several _feet_ too short, bunny ears standing atop heads, make-up thicker than stone, and all wearing a smile that as practiced as Louise's own magic.

Claps and cheers echoed inside the room as she stepped inside, hesitant as a rabbit in a predator's den. She wasn't sure where she should look, if anywhere at all. Everything was supposed to be her position as a noble, filthy to touch or even imagine.

Undyne, however, appeared to have none of the same fears.

The blue-scaled monster marched into the room, weapons shining upon her back and twisted scowl righting into her usual righteous smile. Her golden eye looked over the bright colors of the building, hands on her hips as if in appreciation of it all.

"Oh, is that the monster?"

"She's got the teeth for it."

"And the muscles, _wow_."

"But she saved the master's niece!"

"What a pair!"

"She's a looker and a keeper!"

"Punk, I take it all back," Undyne spoke in a quite whisper as she walked forward. Her grin was as sharp as always, but Louise felt a whole new reason to be concerned for the shark-like grin. "You humans know _exactly_ how ta treat a guest!"

"Oh _mademoiselle!_ I am honored to hear such kinds words from my niece's rescuers!" Niece? Louise could focus on that. "She and my daughter have been the _close_ since they were young! To preserve such an innocence in the world is a gift a woman such as myself cannot thank enough." Louise misheard one of those words, she was sure of it.

"Ya mean Siesta?" Undyne asked, giving the man(?) a questioning look. "Siesta's yer niece? Nice!" The monster grabbed the man's shoulders with both her hands. "She said her uncle would help us out! Glad ta hear she was spot on!"

"But of course!" Scarron replied, either uncaring or enjoying the touch of the monster's scales on his bare shoulders. "And for you to rescue her from that _dastardly_ noble, I cannot offer enough!"

"Heh, it was no sweat," Undyne let out, brushing a finger past her nose. Louise was fine for as long as the attention was off her in this kind of place. "But where'd Siesta run off to anyways? I mean, I'm sure she was just makin' sure you wouldn't flip out when I came in. Least I was told that..." Louise forgave Undyne's grumbling.

"I'm here! I'm here!" Louise turned with Undyne, seeing the commoner running down the stairs. Well, perhaps skipping was a more appropriate. But one look at the Plebian told the noble exactly where she had gone.

Her maid uniform was gone, traded instead for the clothes she would expect the commoners of Tristian to wear. A long plain dress, a simple bodice, a loose-fitting shirt that rolled to her wrists, and a pair of shoes that stuck out from the bottom of her dress.

She had gone in early to get changed. Once more, Louise found it difficult to criticize. She could only imagine the horror for being mistaken for one of the women of the establishment.

"There ya are!" Undyne let out, stepping towards the commoner with outstretched arms. Louise knew _exactly_ what the monster was going to do. Because Siesta was still jogging towards her, she did not.

"Sir Undyne! I apologize for my-IIIEEEE!" Her voice rose as Undyne scooped her into the air, effortlessly.

The cheer subsided for awe at the monster's now obvious strength, holding the commoner in the air once more without a sign of distress.

"So you went to get changed? Could a told me that first. But heck you don't look good in it!" Louise was facing Undyne's back, the Staff of Destruction and Derflinger facing her, but she could tell from the former-maid's heating face that Undyne was giving her usual monstrous smile.

"Glad you approve!" A new voice spoke up from the stairs. Louise looked to see another woman, similarly dressed to Siesta, walking down the stairs. She differed only with her hair being likely thrice as long. "Couldn't have Siesta running around in her uniform, could I?" And she was sensible too.

"Now Jessica, be nice to the _mademoiselles_." The man(?) named Scarron spoke again, voice rising and falling with unreadable infatuation. At least Louise knew the woman's name now.

"I will, promise!" She spoke up, walking over to Undyne. Undyne, the tall monster and blue scaled monster, still holding the former-maid in the air as if to appraise her.

The monster gave her good eye to the other commoner, setting Siesta back down as she did so. Louise could see her release a breath of relief. It was not from fatigue, she was sure.

"So, big blue and scaly. You must be Undyne." Suddenly the inn owner's words made a lot more sense.

"Yup, ya got me," Undyne spoke with crossed arms. "Monster of the Underground and Royal Guard Captain." Louise thought the monster had stopped using the title. Perhaps it was still instinct to do so… Change did not come in a day, as it were.

"With those muskets, you look like you can play both parts." The commoner spoke again, poking at Undyne's tough bicep. Louise knew it was time to step in.

"Excuse _me!_ " Louise let out, stepping up to the Plebian, despite her being a few heads taller. "But I believe you should be more courteous to us when-" She was stopped, again, by a monstrously strong hand on her shoulder.

"Hey, punk, it's all good," Undyne's voice spoke up again. Louise grit her teeth, even as she looked up at the monster's granny visage. She truly couldn't argue with her. "Sides, not long she's wrong. The slime ball couldn't even slow me down." The name was starting to annoy her.

"The 'slime ball' was Count Mott, Undyne," Louise turned to face her partner, wagging her finger at the monster. "He's a triangle class mage who we should be thanking the Founder forgave us for attacking his manor. You of all should be aware of great the name is, seeing as you gave up your _armor_ to compensate for Siesta."

"Whoa, is that true?"

"Armor's worth a lot of money, especially a Royal Knight's armor."

"Isn't Mott the-?"

"Yes, he is."

"Oh, wow."

Louise cursed herself. She forgot about the women of the night. That was a blunder on her part in the worst of ways.

"Hey, punk, no need to bring that stuff up again." Undyne scratched at her long red mane, wide lips twisting into the odd scowl she knew the monster for, after her strength. It didn't help that she was still being towered over. "That guy deserved the beating he got."

"I'm not arguing that," Louise interjected. "Only that you fail to realize the influence the man has, 'slimy' or not." After all, one's personality so rarely matched their stature. Only royalty was the exception, such as Princess Henrietta.

"Girl's not wrong," the other commoner, Jessica spoke. "Mott's a real sleaze, used to come here a lot to. You taking him out is just making you all the better. In more than just _one_ way." And she winked.

Why did the commoner wink? Was there a high-sign that Louise was already ignorant to? She couldn't be… to the monster… her partner? The idea was just ludicrous to think about.

Everything was just happening too fast for Louise's taste. There was no time to process any of this.

"Sir Undyne, would you care to tell of how you fought the Count?" Louise turned towards the voice, new only in that she didn't recognize the owner. It was one of the women, scantily clad in a too-short maid uniform. "I'm sure you could tell quite the tale."

"Yes! Indeed," another woman spoke, approaching Undyne with bunny ears and a top that didn't appear to be worn for warmth or comfort. "There is much I am sure you can enlighten us with, perhaps with _physical_ demonstrations."

"I'm sure you could show us every ounce of your _strength_ … and _stamina_." Louise was feeling sick, the more these women spoke. And there wasn't just a few, there was easily a dozen.

And they were swarming like flies.

All at once, the 'women' began to surround Undyne, grabbing at her scaly arms and offering items that reached of alcohol. Louise backed away as quickly as she could, fearful of being swallowed in the crowd.

"Whoa, huh, guess you got a lot you wanna ask me, huh?" Undyne's voice rose above the women, but Louise paid little mind to it. The monster had faced monsters and mages. She could deal with a few grabby hands, especially those that were more thankful that greedy.

She watched the crowd surrounding the monster end at a stall, the few women who could not get close to the monster off to gather more of the booze and alcohol that would likely try and incapacitate the monster. Louise wasn't sure how much good it would do. Then again, she was hardly worried.

It was difficult to imagine a monster that walked through waterfalls and magic being done in by a bit alcohol intake.

She, herself, moved to a chair in the corner of the room. It was simple and out of the way, one of two around a table in the corner. Given the length they had walked it was a blessing to be able to sit and rest her legs, especially with the volume surrounding the monster increasing.

A slow groan left Louise's lips. This was not the journey she imagined with Undyne, least of all so quickly. Then again, she had imagined the queen offering her services to search for her kingdom, and that was after they had proven themselves on the Day of the Founder's Spring Time Ritual. Step by step, her plans were falling apart.

At least her clothing was still in one piece, and her partner had yet to abandon her. And, of course, least she forget, her magic as improving.

If her magic was improving, then it was hard to say it wasn't worth it.

"Ms. Valliere." Louise turned to see Siesta standing next to her, smiling down at her. It was an odd smile she wasn't used to seeing. Louise was immediately on edge.

"Yes, what is it?" She questioned quickly. She didn't want to be surrounded at a… party like this. "Is there something you need?"

"No, not at the moment," she replied easily, smile unfaltering. Given the cheers and stench of booze in the air, it did little to help Louise's annoyance. "I actually was hoping now would be an acceptable time to give you something?"

"Huh?" Louise found herself asking. What could the commoner give her now? She'd already supplied a place to stay for the night, questionable as it was. "What is it?"

"I, um," she started and stuttered, fidgeting on spot. At the very least her grin faltered. "I have not had the chance yet to thank you. Not alone." Oh, that was what she meant.

"You don't need to give me thanks," Louise dismissed, just as her mother would do. "I did what was expected of me and to resolve the situation. Thanks are undeserved." She crossed her arms and shut her eyes, willing as best she could the cheers and debauchery occurring not but a few feet away.

"Perhaps, but I still offer it," the maid continued. Louise, despite herself, risked a peek from her eyes.

It was just enough to see the maid was bowing. She felt her face go red with the heat.

"There are many nobles I know who would have made excuses or reasons to not assist me, but you aided me and helped me when I needed it most. So, for that, I thank you." And she slowly stood again.

Her smile was nothing like Undyne's. It didn't have the ferocity of a warrior, the size of a shark's maw, and lacked even a trace of gold. It was kind and gentle, the one Louise had seen many siblings share.

It was a smile that her eldest sister would often give to her.

"Y-You are cu- um, quite welcome," Louise spoke in a rush, beating away the flames of her cheeks. Contact would do little good, so food it was. "Do you, ah, have anything to eat?" If she was eating, the others would be less likely to talk to her, not that any of the scantily clad women seemed bored with Undyne.

"Course we do!" Louise saw Jessica approaching, the only worker of the inn that was not dressed in a way to entice a man. She already thought highly of the woman. "And for savin' my cousin, you get some extra pastries!" And from the tray she was carrying, the dark-haired woman produced a treat.

It was a donut, but different than the treats she had seen before. The normal donuts that bakeries would advertise were simple and easy to grasp. Fluffed dough that was easy to bite in and easier to chew.

This pastry had topping on that looked like the glazing of a gourmet meal. It was colorful, purple and spilling over the oblong shape of the donut. Small dots decorated the treat, though appearing not to be poor to eat. In fact, Louise could unabashedly say she was watering for a bite.

"Looks that good, huh?" Louise ran a hand under lips at the question, ashamed to feel some drool. It wasn't _entirely_ her fault! It had been sometime since she had seen a treat like that, if ever. "These have been popping up at some bakeries. We got a seller who gives them at discount to us, cause we buy in bulk!"

"Oh, how much do I owe you then?" Louise asked. She had hardly a piece on her, but obviously a treat such as that was not free. That was what she thought. She was wrong.

"You pay _nothing_ ," Jessica spoke verbosely, just heard over the crowd of women around Undyne. She had a grin like Undyne's, but lacking the shark-like teeth. Louise moved back as the pastry was shoved at her, grabbing it to keep it from staining her school uniform. "Just in case I wasn't clear enough, you got Siesta away from that snob Mott. Far as I can tell, you're set!"

Louise felt her face heat up at the words. She quickly looked back at the pastry she was holding, feeling the frosting atop of it stick to her fingers. It was not something she should or wanted to waste. She took a bite of it, chewing the soft material.

But when she swallowed, it disappeared.

"Gha!" Louise let out, dropping the pastry in a rush. Her hands moved up and down her body, but she wasn't sure where, if what, to grab.

"Hahahahaha _hahah_!" She immediately looked up at Jessica, the commoner bending at the knees with laughter. Louise ground her teeth. "Hey, hey, calm down. Not laughing at you, just realized it's your first time having one of those."

"Did the noble try the Spider Donut?" Someone asked from the crowd of women. Louise was more focused on the name for the treat. "Jessicaaaa, you were supposed to wait!"

"Couldn't help it!" She spoke back. "She was hungry and I already got them out! Here, c'mere and give these to Undyne!" Jessica turned away from Louise's angered face to hand the tray she was carrying off. A girl dressed as a horribly misrepresented bunny came forward, grabbing the dish.

Louise could hear Undyne barking with laughter. She could only imagine what the monster was doing amidst the commoners. Her safety was the least of her concerns. They're image was the highest.

"Sorry about that." Louise looked up at Jessica, the commoner already back. "Happens to everyone the first time they try one of those. Looks great, tastes great, but go to swallow it and it feels like someone just yanked it right out of your throat." A bit gruesome for imagery… but she wasn't wrong.

"Jessica, what happened?" Siesta asked now. Clearly she was not aware. "What did you do to her?"

" _Nothing!_ I already said that!" The dark haired woman returned. "It's just how those pastries are made. You eat them, but they just, I don't know, disappear. You still feel good and all, like you ate one, but it's kinda hard to say you got full on something that you know isn't there."

Louise was finding it hard to fault the commoner, for more than playing the cruel prank on her. It was difficult to describe the feeling of having food vanish from your stomach. More than that, it felt odd to describe that while feeling the energy from it.

"These must sell well then," she noted, picking up the dropped pastry. She already felt regret for doing so. "I know many nobles who would pay heavily for trying something so different."

"Yeah, and you'd be right about that!" Jessica returned. "Too bad sales have been about as active as a rabbit winter. Bout as frequent, come to think of it." Were sales bad currently?

"Jessica, is something wrong with the store?" Siesta asked now, wearing commoner clothing so unlike the maid dress she was in before. It still suited her frame and plain face. Hence, the commoner attire. "I thought it was merely a slow day. Has… has the inn been suffering?"

"Eh, don't you know?" the chestier woman asked with hands on her hips. "There've been too many weird things happening at night recently."

"Weird?" the former maid replied, looking up from Louise. "Has something been happening? Should we tell the guards?"

"Oh, the men already know _all_ about it." Louise felt before she saw the inn's owner approach, arms tight at his side and hands cupping his chin. "It's been happening for a few months now, at least since the last snow fall," the bar's landlord added on. Louise did her utmost to ignore how he twirled his short hair around his fingers.

"It's been hard on the girls, not having the income at night. If it weren't for the occasional renting out for parties, we'd probably _serious_ trouble. I can't have my girls worrying about tomorrow, not when the day is what matters most!" Louise also ignored the context of the word renting. She had become skilled at ignoring disappointing things.

"Basically, a bunch of people around the town have been hearing weird stuff coming from the allies." Jessica spoke with arms crossed now. "Started off with just some giggles and whispering, but people swore they started to feel chills going from store-to-store, eyes on them in their homes, and a bunch of other weird stuff."

"Jessica, it is _so_ much more dramatic than that!" Scarron cajoled the young woman before turning to Louise. She said nothing, because she couldn't think of what to say to a man like this. "For months now, it has felt like the ghost of a lost maiden has taken over the streets at night, looking for children to play with and men to enjoy the night."

Already Louise was on edge with the idea. Flamboyant as the man(?) was, the tale was not one she wanted to have many details for.

"Too many of the regulars have sworn off the evening's hours for fear they will be swept into a mist to never return. Even the young ladies, oft protected by the strapping young men of the guard, have been needing deliveries for fear they will be lost to the night." Was there a monster on the lose?

"That does sound kinda creepy." Louise almost hit the ceiling.

"Undyne!" She yelled at the monster, different kind monster, at her side, there without a sound or warning. "Do not scare me like that! It is too late a-and not right!" Louise bit her lip to keep herself from saying more.

And where were the women? Were they bored with the monster? No way. The headmaster of the magical academy was far from tired of the monster. There was little way the 'women' here were.

"Heh, sorry 'bout that punk. Just heard a good story goin' on over here." She pattered Louise's shoulder. It made her sigh in annoyance. This monster… "But hey, can ya keep goin? I wanna hear more 'bout this."

"Oh, yeah!" Jessica returned, a grin so much like Undyne's on her lips. "Well, then I guess I should start with the first report like a few months back. Basically a guy was talking about how he felt a bunch of tiny fingers crawling up his skin, but leaving all taking off as soon as he came inside. He lost a bit of gold and reported it to the guard."

So it was a common burglar then, or perhaps common wasn't the word. Creative, maybe, it was still just basic theft.

"There were a few more stories like that, and a guard was supposed to investigate." Jessica held up a finger, indicating the number of soldiers that came. "But he had to leave when he reported he was being stalked, laughter ringing in his ears wherever he investigated."

Or perhaps it was not just theft. A prank then? Louise felt her brows knit in annoyance. The commoners were right though, this was odd.

"And it just kept on going from there, more and more stories like that." Waved her hands in exasperation, likely. "Gold missing, clothes knitted, laughter in the shadows. Things got really bad when the guards started to show up though…"

Louise listened to the tale the commoner wove, all while sitting close to her monster companion.

Her monster companion slowly chewing on the Spider Donut. It was a fair guess she liked them.

* * *

Undyne listened to Jessica's story, all while sitting close to her pinkette human.

Her human friend was listening to the story, but the punk was watching her. It wasn't hard to figure out why.

Undyne felt loopy. The kind of loopy she got from Grillby's when she had to put the dogs down for a snooze. Wasn't her first time feeling like this, but it was definitely the first time feeling like this cause of human drinks.

And man, did it feel _good_.

"But the creepiest one had to be questions." Jessica was going on. "A few of our frequent customers, well used to be frequent, told us that there were questions being whispered to them as they walked down the halls."

"Now that's creepy, like a horror anime kind of creepy," Undyne pointed out. There was a human show that she watched with Alphys like that. But it was in a school, not on the streets. "Was it askin' them stuff like why they died?"

"Thank the Founder not _that_ creepy!" Jessica almost yelled back. Undyne liked her. She had a voice that carried. "More like what they were doing, where they were going, and why they weren't doin' more." Undyne felt her lips twist.

"Wait, that's the creepiest one?" She asked incredulously. She could think of way creepier, or at least bring up a few stories Asgore told her when she was a kid. "How could that be creepy?"

"Because nothing's scare than a voice with a _booooodddyyyyy_." Undyne wasn't sure if Jessica was drunk too or acting like she was talking to a kid. Well, the pinkette did look like one. "But seriously, ya know the whole voice's in your head thing? Now image that while _thinking_ your sane. Ya start to question yourself, a lot."

"Psychological torment and disturbance," the pinkette spoke up. Undyne gave a lazy eye to her. Guess she wasn't much of a kid if she talked like Alphys at work. "That can be… troublesome."

"Tch, yeah, try damning." Jessica folder her arms as she spoke. "Do you have any idea how hard it is to calm guys down when they think they're going mental? I bet it's cook trying to cook with his bare hands."

"Heh, Asgore tried to do that." Undyne remembered him burning up his kitchen once trying.

"Yes, um… it definitely sounds as if your work has suffered. I do hope it changes in the future." The pinkette spoke up quickly. Probably trying to hide something. Not that it mattered. They were supposed to relax right now.

"We're surviving. Got plenty of nobles and higher up commoners who have parties they need _'catering'_ for." If there was one thing Jessica was good at, least as far Undyne could tell, it was waggling her eyebrows. It looked like she was trying to shake them off her head.

It got a laugh from a couple of the other humans, and a big one from Derf, but Undyne shrugged it off. People needing to eat didn't seem like that funny of a thing. Speaking of, she was kinda hungry too. Probably the booze.

Undyne picked up a donut that was sitting on a tray near her. Looked good to eat, even if it felt a little cold. Wasn't hard like weeks old bread at least. That stuff was for _training_ to eat rocks.

Undyne took a bite of the donut. Her good eye shot open.

" _Whoa_!" She yelled out, her stupor of the alcohol almost immediately clearing. It did clear. And she knew _exactly_ why.

" _Ghahahaha_!" Jessica was laughing with her hands over her gut. Undyne looked up to see Siesta covering her lips, giggling as well. The heck was funny? Did they even know what this stuff was? "Sorry, sorry, about that. Always funny watching someone eat a Spider Donut for the first time."

Guess they did know. Now Undyne had to know something else.

"Where'd ya get this stuff?!" She asked, waving the donut over her head… before chomping the rest of it down with a single bite. "I've been lookin' for things like this since I got to the surface!" She slammed her fists on the table.

**_CRACK_ **

The table fell to pieces under her fists. Oh yeah, humans made weak stuff. She'd forgotten about that. Couldn't forget when the girls jumped away from the table in fright.

" _Goodness me!_ What on Earth happened to the table?" Undyne saw the girly man run up to them, hands cupping his face. He looked like a fleshy version of Mettaton, at least the prototype Alphys was working on.

"Eh, sorry 'bout that," Undyne apologize, raising a hand. Really didn't look good to break someone else's things, especially if they were treating her like a guest. "Kinda forget human stuff isn't as strong as our things in the Underground."

"Oh mademoiselle, you truly are a _spectacular_ knight!" Well okay. Undyne wasn't going to argue with that voice or face, but it was the first time she got compliments for breaking stuff, at least on the surface. "It is simply no wonder how you beat that little scoundrel Mott now! Please, take a seat while we clean this up!"

His hands motioned towards another table, literally right next to where they were sitting. Undyne shrugged. Way better than being kicked right out of the store.

"You do got some serious muskets on you," Jessica spoke up again. Undyne _had_ to figure out what that meant. It sounded good at least. The smile helped. "Guess they aren't just for show." Well that one she got.

"Nothin's worth having if it's just for show." Undyne spoke up, grinning like Asgore had always told her to. "It's gotta be able to do something ta be worth something." Like her teeth, or her arms, or her spears, or her lance. Nothin' was just for show.

"Thank you for your kindness and understanding," the pinkette spoke up again. The punk had a habit of taking everything cool Undyne said down a notch. Wasn't what she wanted, but it was clear at least that she was on her side. "And, um… please let us know if you need compensation… for the table."

"This thing?" Jessica asked, kicking a loose board. Least she wasn't as weak as most the humans Undyne had met. "Nah, they're all ready to go. Least now we got scrap wood to burn for the night."

Now Undyne liked that. Turning negatives into positives. It was the kind of stuff Asgore had told her to do. Made her grin at the good memory.

Undyne grinned even broader when Siesta walked by her, handing her a drink of water. Must've known she was thirsty, cause she didn't ask for anything. She made sure to show the maid a bright grin. Undyne got one in return.

And with that Siesta, carrying a tray in her hand and holding empty glasses on top of it… wait a second.

"Wait, Siesta, why're you workin?" Undyne called out to the maid. The dark-haired human turned back to her, confused. "I mean like, you _literally_ just got here. Aren't ya a guest like me?"

"Oh, I don't mind," Siesta immediately returned. "My uncle and his workers are busy all the time, so helping them is the least I can do. Especially if they're allowing us to stay the night." Well that wasn't quite right.

"But like-" Undyne stopped when she felt the punk grab her arm. It was pretty weak, yeah, but she at least felt the force there.

"It's very kind of you to assist your family," the pinkette spoke up, looking past Undyne and at Siesta. The monster couldn't help but quirk an eyebrow at the punk. "You were clearly raised well to think in such a way."

"Thank you, Ms. Valliere," Siesta returned, grinning still. Undyne was just feeling her head spin. Her lips twisted to match. "I'll be sure to show you where we are staying when I am finished cleaning."

And, like the cheap ending to the bad episodes of anime, Siesta turned and walked back towards all the other human girls. The only thing keeping Undyne from yelling after her was knowing it'd scare the humans. They were skittish as all hell. Speaking of.

"The hell was that?" Undyne asked the punk. She could trust the pinkette to be honest at least. "We just got back from walking fer like two days and gettin' her out of that slime ball's house. Why's she working?"

"Because it is what commoners do, Undyne."

"Well than damn! You should'a told me!" Undyne stood up, ignoring the pinkette's wide eyes. She had those a lot. "Gotta help out if we're gonna earn our stay."

"No! Sit down!" She let out, grabbing at Undyne's arm again. It was a little stronger, like two pebbles was heavier than one. "You would be insulting their hospitality if you asked to help them!" Now how on the Angel's wings did that work out?

"She ain't too wrong, partner," Derf, of all people, spoke up. Undyne looked over her shoulder with her good eye to stare at the sword. "Be kinda like askin' ya to stay outta a fight protectin' people. It ain't gonna give ya the smithy's warmth, I tell ya that."

Okay, that was a good metaphor. The first part at least.

"Well geez," Undyne let out, sinking back into her seat, and putting her elbow on the table. She held up her head with her hand. It made her lips snarl. "Now I just feel like a freeloader."

"Oh hush, Undyne," the pinkette, again, stopped her. What was her deal right now? "If it were not for you, the maid would be sitting in Count Mott's rooms waiting for orders she'd like prefer not to do, waiting for her contract to be sold to another noble she wouldn't know. If you're fool enough to trade your armor for her freedom, at least comprehend the _weight_ of what you've done."

Undyne gave the punk a long look, staring at the human with her good eye. Even as the pinkette bit into Spider Donut once more, chewing and swallowing the pastry, she didn't take her eyes off her. Whenever she thought she had the brat figured out, she went and said stuff like that.

Humans were weaker than she thought they'd be, but at least they were still interesting.

Good thing she paid attention to those human history lessons with Alphys.

Undyne took the glass Siesta had offered her, chugging the water in a single gulp. Wasn't a lot, but enough to parch her throat at least. She'd have to ask if there was a lake or ocean nearby. That'd be great to see, swim in too.

She rotated her neck, avoiding Derf and Asgore's Lance. Couldn't help her hair getting tangled in them. Her red pony-tail probably needed a wash, now that she thought about it. The buckets of water she threw on herself back at the school may have been a human thing to do, but no way was it cleaning her off.

A slow breath of air filled her lungs. She could smell the homily scent, as Asgore would probably call it. Fresh food, water to drink, and a heck of a lot of humans to talk to. Replace the humans with monsters and it was just like the Underground.

Okay, the night sky that she could _just_ see out of one of the inn window's kinda ruined that idea, but at least everything else was close enough. She had a friend she could talk to, several in fact, people getting her food for stories, stories to tell, and even a few spiders lurking around the store.

Wait a second.

Undyne rotated and stared at the spiders.

She'd seen spiders before, all over the place. They made webs all over Waterfall and even more in Hotland, when she was able to see Alphys. They were all over the place because, like Asgore said, they were monsters too.

It was kind of obvious they were monsters, seeing as the humans treated them the same way they treated her, at least at first. But the spiders… these guys weren't that different than the ones back in the Underground.

They had eight legs, real tiny bodies, the dots that were probably their eyes, and enough webbing around them to bother someone that walked into it. They were scurrying around the web, moving past one another, and probably collecting all the little insects that made it into the inn.

Oh, yeah, and they were dancing.

They were dancing around one another the same way they did in the unused cabinets of her kitchen. It actually would've been kind of nostalgic, if it weren't for the fact that one of the spiders was waving a leg at her.

The booze in the drink must not have gotten out of her system yet. She was sure the Spider Donut would do the trick, but it didn't look like it. She rubbed her eye twice to make sure. Even a third time and it was still the same. The spiders were dancing, and one of them was beckoning her.

The booze must've been a lot stronger than she thought. Worse than anything Grillby had in the Underground at least.

Talk about a red flag.

"Hey, pinkette," Undyne spoke to get the punk's attention. "You seein' that?" She pointed with a scaly finger, her good eye never leaving the spiders.

"Hmm? What are you- _Founder's name_!" The pinkette let out in a rushed voice. That was just before she felt the punk grab at her arm like the railing at the edge of Waterfall.

"Somethin' wrong, punk?" Undyne asked. She expected the brat to be a little upset, but that was a bit extreme, covering her face against her arm. Yeah, it was probably comfortable, least Alphys said it was, but those were just spiders. There were pebbles that were larger.

"Wrong? Of course there is!" She spoke in a rushed hiss. "Why would you point out such disgusting creatures like that!" Now Undyne was confused.

Okay, they were weird, but were they really that bad?

"Those devils can kill inattentive man with a single bite, scare a mare out of her reigns, and worst of all, ruin a hair style that you spend hours preparing!" One of those really wasn't like the other. But the pinkette did have a point, Undyne thought.

Okay, guess they were bad for humans.

"Okay, yeah, sorry for scaring ya," Undyne relented. She didn't want the punk focusing on that. "But… do ya see them… dancing?" She twirled her webbed finger about the web, indicating all the little spiders on the web.

Really, Undyne was amazed she could do that with the alcohol in her system. Maybe she put off drinking till she had food. That sounded like a good idea, somehow.

" _That is_ … well… um…" The pinkette's words withered and died as she started watching the spiders with Undyne. If anything, it meant that it wasn't the alcohol making her see things. "I… their movements are not… normal. B-But I am no expert of such disgusting things!"

"Aww, what's the matter with them creepy crawlies?" Derf asked from Undyne's back. He didn't seem to mind his position close to Asgore's Lance. "Better to dance fer joy then cry and _silk!_ " Undyne snickered.

Yeah, that was pretty good. Spider silk. She got it.

"Please, no more puns," the pinkette spoke up. Looks like she didn't get the humor in them yet. She would though, probably. "I am just… I'm tired." Her voice sounded a little different there.

Undyne managed to look away from the spiders long enough to see the pinkette, staring up at the ceiling with wide eyes. That wasn't normal, even for a human. She'd been around them long enough to know that.

"Punk, you okay?" Undyne asked, tapping on the brat's shoulder. It must have been like hitting the alarm, cause she jolted at the touch.

" _Oh!_ Oh yes, I just realized that I am exhausted." Undyne's good eye twisted in confusion. How do you realize that? "It is the only excuse for what I am seeing with those spiders… was seeing with those spiders?" Was?

Undyne looked back at the webbing the spiders were sitting on, were being the operative word. They were gone.

"Heh, guess they broke a few legs and split, huh partner?" Derf asked. Undyne didn't get the pun, but she knew what it meant.

Her good eye looked over the corner of the building, up and down, searching for those black dots. Losing a spider was supposed to be a bad thing for humans.

Alphys had shown her a lot of pictures of humans burning down their homes over it. Undyne couldn't let these awesome humans lose the place!

But then her eye got them. Scurrying under a far door. She couldn't lose them.

Undyne stood up, putting Derflinger down as she walked to the door. He and the pinkette could talk about something else, magic maybe.

Her boots pushed against the tile quickly, putting her in front of the door in short order. She was pretty sure the pinkette was calling her name, but she didn't turn to look. Undyne could find the brat again, but spiders were sneaky, and apparently dangerous to humans.

A quick pull opened the door, and it showed her the dark side of another building. It was an alley, a trashy one at that.

Even with the small amount of light available, Undyne could see scraps of food and trash on the ground, ground uncared for like the streets they had walked before. But the spiders were out here, somewhere.

Undyne walked out in the alley, the door to the inn blowing hot air at her back. The light from inside illuminated only a fraction of the alley, leaving majority of it shrouded in darkness. The stars were bright, but they weren't having much luck either.

"Undyne, what are you doing?" the pinkette asked from the doorway. Undyne glanced at her, seeing the punk holding Derf in her arms.

She was probably two sizes too small for a blade like him. That wasn't adding on that she'd probably cry just trying to swing him around.

"Have you gone mad with fatigue? You're letting all of the heat out!" Oh yeah, these humans didn't have air-conditioning. That kinda sucked. Her question still stood though.

The hell was she doing? Chasing spiders into an alley? They weren't even in the building to _hurt_ the humans.

Yeah, they were weird, but what on the surface wasn't weird? Humans apparently thought of themselves like different people, the powerful weren't protecting the weak, lifting a few tons meant you were strong, and the humans didn't even have phones.

None of it was like the anime she watched with Alphys. It was almost as if all of that stuff was fake or something. Undyne grumbled, rubbing her head. Maybe the booze was still getting to her.

"Heh, sorry punk," She apologized to the pinkette as she turned around. She tucked a stray strand of red hair behind her fins. "Just thought I'd find somethin' out here." The pinkette sighed at the words, arms crossed and with puffed cheeks. She did look kind of adorable.

"Well, I'm sure no one would mind you looking for something you want after all of this." Louise waved her hand back at the inn. "It appears the commoners do treat their family well, and Count Mott's favor was… less than desirable, shall we say."

That was one way to say stupid. It made Undyne chuckle, crossing her arms to match the human brat. Yeah, she had a few heads on the kid, but at least she was starting to act like she had some determination at least.

It was a hell of a lot better than the brat she met a couple of weeks ago.

"Whatever," Undyne let out. "Let's just call it quits and hit the hay. I don't even know _what_ we're gonna do tomorrow." Really, she didn't. That was for the pinkette to decide. The punk knew more about this place than she did.

"Agreed, there is much to discuss," the pinkette spoke up, all back to business. Guess that wasn't about to change. "But as I mentioned earlier, we are both suffering from fatigue. The last few days have been… long."

"That's a fancy way of sayin' yer dead tired," Derflinger spoke from his sheath. "Least ya get to sleep on a comfy bed, huh?" That was true. Not like Undyne could even imagine Siesta's family not giving them a place to sleep.

Undyne's felt her usual grin pull at the idea. Those were nice humans in the inn, dressed to impress as well. Just went to show that studying the anime with Alphys all paid off in the end. But given everything that she'd seen, it wasn't like there was much else that could surprise the Underground's hero.

" _Was that a monster?_ " **BANG!**

Undyne summoned a spear and spun back to the alley in an instant. She ignored the pinkette's shocked cry.

**SLAM!**

She didn't when she heard the door to the inn slam shut behind them.

"What in the _Founder's name!_ " The punk was yelling. Be hard to imagine her not screaming. "What was that!?" Undyne didn't know. She didn't know because it was so damn dark out and the only thing helping that was the thin crack of the door way!

" _They say she's from the Underground._ " **BANG!**

Undyne threw a spear at the sound of the voice, hearing it slam into the brick wall. A good chunk of the wall fell away, her lance disappearing with it. But she didn't hit anything else.

Was this what Jessica was talking about? This was a hell of a lot worse than just some giggling voice!

" _They say she's a friend to the humans._ " **BANG!BANG!**

Two more lances appeared above Undyne aimed at the voice that spoke. She couldn't see anything in the darkness, and it was seriously starting to piss her off. Who the hell ambushed someone without showing who they were?

"U-Undyne!" She stopped when she felt the pinkette push against her side. Undyne glanced at the human, easier to feel than see right now. No mystery why she was so uneasy.

Being taunted by voices in the dark either pissed you off or just made you piss.

"It's okay, punk," she spoke to the girl. "I've got your back." **BANG BANG BANG** And she had the lances to do it. As many as she needed.

" _Does she want to hurt us?_ "

" _Does she want to kill us?_ "

Two voices now, from two different parts of the alley. Undyne was her lips till her gums dried in the night air. If they were being attacked these guys could hurry up and just attack already!

"I'm only gonna kill ya if you keep talking _like that_!" Undyne yelled into the alley. Her voice echoed off the walls, but that was about it. She couldn't even hear the humans inside making a fuss! The hell was going on.

"Is this magic? Some triangle or square class spell? A-Air magic perhaps," the punk was whispering to herself, still leaning heavily on Undyne. She didn't mind, in fact, she preferred it. She could keep track of her that way.

"If you know who I am, then ya got to know why I'm here!" Undyne yelled back at the shadows, hoping she'd see something at least blink! That was the problem with having only one eye! "I'm gonna protect my friends and save the monsters. Are you tryin' to stop me!?"

" _Does she want to save us?_ "

What?

Undyne didn't know what that meant, like at all. No way were these voices monsters. Monsters didn't hide in the shadows like this! They'd run out to greet the first human they saw!

"What's that supposed to mean?" Undyne reached back for Asgore's Lance, grabbing it and holding it beside her own spear. She'd throw one, but strike with the other. "You know something I don't?"

"Undyne?" The punk spoke her name, but Undyne ignored it. As long as she was touching the human, she knew where she was. What she _needed_ to know was where the voice was.

" _Maybe she's looking for someone_."

"Maybe she's just looking for a friend."

That voice was different. And that voice was behind her.

Undyne whirled on her heel, the human leaning against her almost being pushed away. She wasn't though. In fact, she was probably pushing even harder against Undyne. Probably the result of her trying to back away from something.

That something was a tall and _very_ thinly cloaked figure.

Undyne had to blink her good eye to make sure she wasn't seeing things.

It looked creepy, super creepy, like the kind of creepy Papyrus wanted to be on Halloween when Sans was on guard duty. It was shorter than her, yeah, but like a head, but it looked like a long tree branch standing up on its own. Didn't help that all Undyne could see was the cloak.

Still, it gave her something to point her spear and _Asgore's Lance_ at.

"Ahuhuhu." The figure laughed at them. It made Undyne's head itch. The hell was the thing supposed to be? She'd heard that laugh before, around Alphys.

Was it from one of the human history shows? Maybe, but she couldn't remember.

"Who the hell are you?" Undyne asked, keeping a _very_ wide eye on the cloak. "You got somethin' you wanna say? Got somethin' ya wanna _do!?_ " **BANG BANG**

The more spears the better, and she had at least half a dozen floating above her now. Not a lot, but enough to at least push whatever the hell was in front of her away.

"Just a stranger looking for friends, dearie~" The figure spoke. Its cloak moved, and Undyne made sure to put herself between it and the pinkette. No way was the human getting hurt on her watch.

But nothing bad came out, just a couple of hands. Yeah, they were… really really thin arms, but they were just arms. They looked really creepy in the dark.

"Yer not a friend _I_ know!" Undyne yelled back. She could tell she wasn't a friend of Louise's either, not with how hard the pinkette was grabbing at her side. You didn't do that around familiar faces or voices. "And you've got a hell of a way of looking for friends."

"My dearies stick out in a crowd~," the voice spoke back. "And I haven't seen my friends in _sooooo_ long." Every bell and flag Undyne had was going off. This was either really bad or extremely bad. No middle ground.

" _Looking for a friend?_ "

" _An old friend?_ "

" _A friend in need?_ "

Those other voices were _not_ helping.

"We have to get out of here, Undyne," Louise whispered behind her. Wasn't a hundred percent correct. Undyne could take any human she'd seen on the surface so far, no problem. But the pinkette couldn't She was in danger.

"But I've found my friend, an _old dear friend_." The figure raised another pair of arms as she spoke.

Wait… what?

Undyne shook her head at the sight. Counting one, two, three, four arms. Yeah, four. There were four really thin arms. Humans had two, and two legs. And the figure had four arms and two legs.

No, wait… six arms. Six arms and two legs. Six really thin and dark arms. The cloak wasn't helping.

"An old friend, looking for _old_ friends." Two of the figure's six arms rose to her hood, grabbing the edge of it and pulling it back.

The alley was dark, only the faintest cracks of light bleeding into it. The night sky wasn't offering much and the sun wasn't anywhere near coming up. But even in the darkness that was so like the Underground, Undyne could see exactly what the figure was.

A monster.

The monster of Hotland, the girl that made webs in the Core and sold pastries at lucrative prices. The monster that had teased the other monsters, kept to herself, and came out only when she needed to feed her friends.

A monster with five eyes, six arms, two legs, two fangs, and enough spiders around her to make a rock feel skittish.

" _Muffet_." Undyne was frozen still. She couldn't even register the human shaking her body behind her.

"So even the mighty Captain of the Royal Guard can be shocked still," _Muffet_ spoke, the same Muffet that teased Alphys and gave the robot a run for his gold. "Be careful with that open mouth, dearie~. You never know what will-"

" _MUFFET!_ " Undyne's shock wore off in an instant.

In that same instant, she dissipated her lances, holstered Asgore's lance, vaulted the distance of the alley, and wrapped the other _monster_ in the tightest hug she could muster.

Wait, Muffet was really thin. Second tightest hug then.

" _Oh my gosh MUFFET!_ " Had to pick the spider monster up now, just to make sure she was real. Even in the shadows she could make out the spider face, all five eyes wide open. She was real! " _YA made it to the surface, too! This is freaking awesome!_ "

"Gah! Ah! Ah!" Undyne heard the spider make strange sounds as she swung her back and forth. That just meant she was really alive!

" _Muffet_ of _Hotland_ with _spiders_ and _pastries!_ " Undyne emphasized every word with a swing of the spider. She lighter than most monsters, but she had to be to sit on her webs. That meant that it was _really her!_

"Th _is_ isn't _hooow_ I'm supp _ooo_ sed tooo _ooo_ ~~" Her voice sounded _hilarious_ when Undyne was shaking her back and forth, but she just couldn't help it! It was taking all of her energy just _not_ to squeeze her hardest!

"U-Undyne?" The monster turned her head just enough to see the pinkette in the ally, gripping Derflinger in her arms. "What is… What is that?" What was it? That was easy!

"This, pinky," Undyne answer, turning and holding _Muffet_ up like the Angel send that she was. "Is _Muffet!_ "

"Muf… fet?" The pinkette broke the name into parts. She must've been as excited as Undyne was, maybe so excited that she just couldn't show it!

Undyne would have to explain it for her then!

"Punk, don't ya get it?!" Undyne didn't care if she was loud. She'd scream from the top of mountains. Her smile was practically hurting her face it was so large. "This is Muffet! She's from the Underground, just like me!"

"W-Wait! This-is is too fast! I'm supposed to introduce my-" Undyne shook the spider in the crux of her arm. Undyne just couldn't help it. Every word she spoke _proved_ one _very_ important thing!

So, with the spider girl in her arms, human friend standing in front of her, and the stars of the surface high above, Undyne shouted the now one immutable fact she knew.

" _I'm not the only monster up here_!"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

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	18. Absolutely NO SCREAMING!

Louise stared at Undyne, the monster she had summoned during the Springtime Familiar Summoning Ritual. She stared at the blue fish only a few feet away in the dark alley, visible and easy to see. Shew as close enough to make out her bright golden smile, her one wide glowing eye, the Staff of Destruction behind her back.

And the eight-appendage monster caught under her arm.

The _other_ monster. _Another_ monster.

A giant, purple, Gothically clothed, five-eyed monster.

Her fingers trembled as she held onto the talking sword, jaw working uselessly. Her eyes bore down on the _pair_ of monsters across from her. One, a now familiar and trusted friend. And the other…

A literal giant spider.

"Hey, pinkette, ain't this awesome?!" Undyne was still yelling with glee in her voice. It was a literal impossibility to hear anything else but sheer joy in her voice. Louise knew her own would not be the same, if she could find it. "Muffet's here! Another monster made it outta the Underground!"

"Let _go_ of me!" Muffet, the giant spider monster, seemed less thrilled with Undyne.

A distant rational part of Louise's mind told her it was because the fish monster was holding the smaller monster in a locking position, with the spider using five of her six arms to push against the arm. Uselessly, she dotted on the thought.

"Aw c'mon!" Undyne spoke back to the _giant_ spider wedged beneath her arm. "There's no way you're gonna tell me you're not as pumped about seeing me as I am you!"

In a display that seemed to only emphasize Undyne's ludicrous strength, she released the spider from the hold beneath her arm. However, no sooner did she do so than did she grab the other monster by her hips, lifting her up into the air.

Louise couldn't tell if the sound the spider was making was one of fright, annoyance, or pain. All were plausible.

At least the spider was capable of making any noise.

"And there is just _way_ too much for us to talk about!" Undyne spoke as she literally twirled the Gothically dressed spider around in the air. "Like where have ya been?! When did you get here?! How've the humans been treating ya?!"

"I-I am _not_ here fooo _ooooooor-_!" Her words were pulled and stretched as Undyne continued to twirl the monster around, as if it were a dream of some sort to her.

Funny, because to Louise, a _giant purple spider_ was more common to nightmares.

Louise could manage shaking breaths, enough to make sure her body didn't pass out onto the cold cobblestone of the alleyway. She wasn't sure if it was the metal of the blade she was carrying or the teeth in her jaw that were chattering.

"Wait a second!" Undyne yelled, needlessly. It was met with her stomping her foot into the ground to stop her spin. The stone beneath her cracked, obviously. "The heck are we talking outside for? We've gotta whole building we can use!"

Oh no.

"No! _No!_ " The giant spider monster yelled out in protest. "I did _not_ have the dearies help me find you just to have you throw me in front of a bunch of humans!" Muffet's voice lacked nothing in volume, and her hands were now shoving down hard on the webbed fingers of Undyne, trying to wiggle her way out of the taller monster's grip.

Again, as if it were a law of magic, it was useless.

"Yes, yes, YES!" Undyne retorted, with her usual overly verbose voice. "Cause there is no way I'm gonna hang out with another monster _on the freakin' surface_ in a dirty alleyway!"

A public housing was not a more suitable place, not for a _spider monster_.

"Oh wait." Undyne stopped herself. "Goin' inside would be the same as the Underground. That ain't good enough for a reunion, no way." Louise had a hauntingly clever idea what the monster was thinking.

"O-Oh… yes, that would be inopportune, would it~" Apparently, Muffet did not. "Ahuhuhu, well, I am sure my dearies caAAAAA _AAAA_ " The spider monster's words were cut off, for an instantly obvious reason.

Undyne had tossed her up into the air, like a doll.

Louise watched the purple _giant spider_ rise feet into the air, voice screeching in protest. Undyne was laughing in unison. This was not normal, it couldn't be normal, let alone appropriate.

"And, _gotcha_." Undyne caught Muffet with both hands again, the spider now resting in the fish's webbed hands as if she were a freshly married maiden. Undyne's golden crooked smile helped the image little.

"L-Let me go! Release me!" Muffet let out against, struggling in Undyne's arms. But even the third time was not the charm. Six hands and two legs did nothing against Undyne's two scaly arms. That and her absurd strength.

"I will, I will, hold your sea-horses." Sea horses? "We're gonna have a chat, but I'm not forgettin' my friends again." Louise looked up at Undyne's good eye at the words.

She saw the glowing orb staring back at her. At least it helped her find her voice.

"H-Hold on Undyne!" Louise let out as she stepped back, already seeing a glint in the monster's eye. The same clever look she adopted whenever her strength was about to play a serious, and unneeded role. "I-I am not… This is far too… too…"

"Too awesome, right?" Undyne asked with an unabashed grin, boots marching through the alley towards Louise. She knew she'd have to turn tail and run to have even a chance of escaping the monster. "We get ta leave that Academy, save Siesta, and have a chat with _another MONSTER!"_

And at the declaration, she raised Muffet above her head, like a trophy.

"PhwaaaAAAA!" The monster let out the oddest, and most horrifying, cry. Five eyes around her head, and they were spinning about like her limbs, searching for anything to grasp onto. Louise did _not_ want to be within that range.

But Undyne, marching closer to her every second, was making that a harder and harder task.

"Now c'mon pinkette," Undyne dropped and tucked Muffet under her arm as she called Louise by that deplorable nickname. The girl could not take her eyes off the _giant spider_. Even as Undyne towered over her in the dark shadows of the alley. "I already know the perfect place ta chat. No place better! Least around here."

Louise knew exactly where she meant. And she did not want that.

"No! Hold on Undyne!" She crouched back, raising a hand and palm at the unarmored monster. "Perhaps… Perhaps w-we can requisite a room from Siesta's family?" She was unsure of her own words, it showed in her voice.

"But that's still inside," Undyne shot back. "And monster have been wantin' ta see the surface for centuries. No way we're gonna have a reunion 'nside any building!" Louise wasn't sure how to answer that, at all. The logic was lower than juvenile.

"Th-Then perhaps, we…" Louise began, but her voice trailed off. Not because she had no ideas, of course not. She was a proud noble, a member of the Valliere family line.

Options were always available to her when needed. But it was hard to name those ideas with the sight before her. She believed few could blame her, at least not without lying.

Undyne, the blue scaled giant of a monster, with strength to match, carrying a _giant purple spider_ , with five eyes and six arms all vainly seeking a way to escape the other monster's grasp.

"Let go Undyne!" Muffet yelled out now, her fangs glistening. Spider fangs several times larger than a normal spider, where a normal spider could kill royal guardsman… "I-I will not be handled like this again! I can… perhaps offer you some pastries~?"

It was what her mother would refer to that an inappropriate attempt at success.

Even if the _giant spider_ ceased her thrashing long enough to direct _five eyes_ up towards the monster, it was nothing that Louise could refer to as endearing or convincing. She knew Undyne well enough by this point.

"Nope! Ain't good enough!" Undyne shot the suggestion down as if she were a musketeer at practice.

Louise could only let out a startled and indignant noise as Undyne scooped her up with her free arm. Her sense of balance was rocked as she was quickly thrown from standing crouched in an alley, to being carried like a log by the monster's side.

"L-Let go of me!" Louise quickly shouted in protest. This was beyond simply rude or inappropriate. It was downright insulting to a noble. To _anyone!_ Only the lowest class of humans could possibly find comfort in this!

"My sweeties aren't going to like this Undyne!" The monster on the monster's opposite side retorted. Louise took the smallest comfort in agreeing with a _giant spider_. But more than that, she was also outnumbered.

At the very least, the two of them struggling in the fish's muscled arms was evidence that this was not normal for their culture. Again, only a small comfort, as the monster had yet to release her.

"Yer bein' awfully forward all of the sudden partner," Derflinger spoke. Derflinger? Wait, yes! That could work! Undyne listened to the blade, a-and it was wise enough to assist with her magic. "Guess I can't say I knew all 'bout you on first _lance_."

Never was Louise so sure she hated puns any more than in this moment.

"Ha! Great one Derf!" Undyne congratulated the blade for its atrocity. "And stop thrashin' for a sec. I'm gonna put ya both down." Louise calmed herself for a moment, stopping with Derf tucked under one arm as her other pushed uselessly at the fish's torso.

She could see the _giant purple spider_ was trying the same with five times as many arms, but the same amount of success.

"I just gotta get up on the roof first." Louise was right, she did know what the monster was planning!

"Th-Then release me this instant!" Muffet countered the blue-fish, with as much success as she had escaping her fellow monster's grip. "I am more than capable of climbing a simple wall!"

"Yup, sure are!" Louise did not even try to give herself hope at the words. The jaw splitting grin on Undyne's face was evidence enough what was going to happen next. "But you're crazier than most of these humans if ya think I'm gonna let you go that quickly!"

Her logic was borderline infantile, and the noise the _giant purple_ spider made wasn't one of agreement. Neither were Louise's mutterings as she continued to fruitlessly squeeze free from the monster's grasp.

She stiffened, however, when she felt Undyne crouch. Her breathing halted.

"Just hold tight," Undyne spoke to the pair of them. Louise felt no comfort in her warning. "I'm not gonna drop ya." She felt more fear than comfort, by leagues and bounds.

But in the next instant, she felt like she was falling. Up.

The air was pushed and shoved out of her chest as Undyne sprung into the air, using all the monstrous strength she was now infamous for. It was what kept her from screaming. Louise abandoned trying to escape the fish, now grasping onto the scaly arm that encircled her like a wooden plank in an endless ocean.

The inn, opposite building, alley, and even the shadows themselves blurred in her vision, turning into messes of dark colors as Louise's vision was rocked with the force. Her head was spinning, her chest tight, and every part of her demanding to be released from the torture that Undyne seemed to adore!

Then she felt weightless. Weightless, likely dozens of feet in the air.

Her vision returned quickly, but breath still avoiding her. It was for the best, because Louise knew she would not have been able to hold it from what she saw. This was the first time, she was sure, any had seen the sight.

The market of Tristian, under the glow of stars, from the view of birds and dragons. She could trace the streets like lines on a paper, see the shackles and roofs of the buildings below, but not a soul to be seen.

It was worth a painting, she realized, something that one could craft and present to royalty for good pay and prestige. Sighs that stole breath and enraptured the eyes were always to be sought by nobles. And-

They were falling again.

Louise curled, twisted, and grasped at Undyne's arm for the dear life she knew was at risk. Wind swept past her gaze and whipped her hair with a violent force. Her chest was too tight, eyes too wet, to utter even a sound of torment she knew shew as experiencing.

But even if she let it out, she feared not to be heard. Only the sound of wind, carried with the strength of a triangle class mage, pushed past her ears. There was too little hold on to, Undyne's scales too smooth a material to hold her in place.

She was going to die. Louise shut her eyes tightly. She was going to die as soon as Undyne hit the ground. Her body would be whipped and slammed and turned into the mush that remained after an earth mage like her father entertained a hunting event with wand over gun and then-

**Boom!**

"Aaaaand _Stuck the LANDING!_ " Undyne bellowed with a joy Louise could not even fathom. She kept her arms and legs wrapped possessively around Undyne's arm, Derflinger caught between her and the monster. "Hey, relax you two. We're on the roof, like I promise. It ain't that high up, least not with what I _know_ you two prefer."

Her tower. Undyne was referencing the quarters her tower was in. But she did not have to leap stories into the air to access her room and she _certainly_ never had to endure the harrowing idea of having her life snuffed from existence by some random act of joy!

Be it her rage or knowledge they were on solid ground, Louise was able to force her body to take shaky breaths. They were weak, something she dared not to admit in more than thought, but it loosened her chest, making it easier to suck in the cool air. She wasn't even aware she was sweating until she savored the feeling of the frigid air.

"I-I am… _attached_ to high objects I climb you brute!" Louise heard the _giant spider_ counter. "And your insistent need to always be so… _extreme_ is what chases my dearies away!" Louise could not fathom if she savored or loathed Undyne's extremes right now, given the monster's statement.

"Hey, chillax Muffet!" her partner responded instead. "We're high up, got the night sky, and all the stars we can see!" Louise found herself rising again, and she tightened her hold on Undyne's arm in tune with her constricting chest. "Whoa, hey, you okay punk? You can let go now."

Louise, grasping at the scaly arm like the final lifeline of her existence, peaked her eyes open at the words.

She looked through her own hair, recognizing her usually well-maintained bangs as trashed and wind-blown in ways that even commoners would take pity on her for. Her vision was twisted, twisted as in up was left and right was looking at the stars. Looking ahead though, she could see the single shimmering eye of Undyne staring at her.

And opposite, she could see the _giant purple spider_ monster gazing back at her, five eyes blinking out of unison.

"Whoa, hey, ya got a grip there, punk." Undyne commented to Louise. Her smile was _anything_ but comforting in this moment. "Relax, your safe. Least I'm not gonna let anything happen to ya." At this moment, Louise was far more concerned with Undyne herself than any threat from afar.

And she voiced that.

"I a-am _not_ afraid of any creature or beast barring _you_ at this moment!" Louise screamed as she finally managed to break free from Undyne. Or she simply released her. It wasn't of immense importance.

Her shoes clicked as they settled on the tiling, her lips twisting at the unfamiliar footing. She refused to reach out to Undyne, already sure that the _giant spider_ saw her as prey.

"I am _furious_ that you opted for us to have a… a… _stupid_ _talk on the roof!_ " She slammed one foot into the tiling, letting out a gasp as her foot slipped. She pointedly ignored Undyne reaching out for her, scaly arm already ready to grab her. "This is not my tower at the Academy and it is not proper! We were offered rooms in the inn, rooms _inside_ the building, not on _it!_ "

"You got a set of lungs on you, ya know that punk?" Louise grit her teeth until she felt her muscles clamp. The _nerve_ of the monster! And here she had thought they had developed an understanding! "But we're up here cause it's a great night out!" And she said it with her usual manic grin!

Of all the logic to use!

"C'mon, it's great up here!" Undyne countered with spread arms and a bright grin, at least as bright as a set of crooked golden teeth could be. They had size at least. "We got actual stars to look at. _Real_ stars! We've been dreamin' 'bout seeing this kind of stuff since… ever!"

"You've seen those _same_ stars for the last week!" Louise shouted in return. She'd throw Derflinger if she wasn't so sure it would bounce off Undyne like air on castle walls. "I can promise you the stars will _never_ leave the sky, but thrusting me into the air like some form of doll is beyond _inappropriate_!"

"Well, she does have _quite_ the voice, doesn't she?" Louise shut her mouth, but glared harshly at the spider just behind her partner. She'd give Undyne this much. Out of the darkness of the alley, it was much easier to see the _giant purple spider's_ features.

Her dress obviously Gothically inspired, it's knitting and volume appearing to have great care sown into it. The colors were dark as the shadows, but the gloves over the ends of her _chitinous_ arms looked well-pressed. The dark lavender bows that were tied about her _slick black_ hair and dress were full like flower petals, dark, dreary, and ominous flower petals.

The frills at the hems and edges of her dress appeared more like clouds of rain than inviting pumps. And her leggings were almost mistakeable for just more shadows, dark as the underside of Louise's bed after the candles were extinguished.

And it all looked so… smooth. The liberation from any form of miss-stitch or unnecessary fabric was eye-cat- _almost_ eye-catching. It emphasized her long legs and her long arms… multiple arms. The twin-tail pull of the _spider's_ hair framed her eyes… solid black and soulless eyes. And even the bow at the nape of her neck, large as Undyne's skirt, helped to seemingly 'grow' the pointed fangs that extended from the spider's mouth.

But Louise had to remind herself that this was all at night. There could be… there _had to be_ webbing on the spider's dress, the liquid remains of her corpses stained on her outfit, dozens of spare gloves stashed in the volume of her dress, and any other number of despicable things off with the outfit.

Most apparent of all. It was being worn by a _giant purple spider_! A spider that _somehow_ had hair many nobles would be envious of, Louise herself _of course_ excluded from the list.

Undyne said there were all kinds of monsters in her underground kingdom, but why did she never warn her of the _giant spiders_!

"I did prefer to talk in the alley, where I know my dearies will keep a few careful eyes out," the _spider_ was talking again. Even her _words_ had poison in them. Not that unrealistic, Louise reasoned, seeing as she spoke through her venomous fangs. "But a little human such as you can't possibly escape this roost."

"And what is that meant to imply?!" Louise shouted at the _giant spider_ , her words growing louder as the spider's venomous grin grew larger. "I only wish to talk _inside_ a building, not _on_ one!"

"I'm only remembering how different you humans are from my precious little dearies," the _giant spider_ commented with three of her five eerie black eyes focused on Louise. "Humans tend to have difficulties with heights, as I've seen and heard. I suppose that's the consequence of having only two sure feet, Ahuhuhuh~." Two of her arms wrapped around her thin midriff at the words.

"Odd, because I have seen and heard many stories involving spiders and boots." Louise felt her snarl turn upside, if only a small amount, at the sight of the spider's eyes blinking out of unison. It may have been a good sign, but she wasn't sure.

_"Did she say boots?"_

_"I heard her say boots."_

Louise's faint grin vanished. Her eyes, wide as they were in the dark of the night, were fixed on the monstrous spider. Her fanged teeth and lips didn't move. But she heard voices, the same voices as she did in the alleyway.

_"Did she use the boots to crush us?"_

_"I heard she used the boots herself."_

_"I saw her laugh when she did it."_

"Hey, Louise, you 'kay?" Louise heard Derflinger as from her arms. "I'm shakin' in my sheath, but Ah'm pretty sure it ain't me." She pointedly ignored the blade.

_"Do we need to trap her?"_

_"We need to watch her."_

"Alright, Muffet, yer all good." Louise felt relief crash into her at Undyne's words. It was hardened upon her as she felt the monster's webbed hand lay over her shoulder. "I'm all for a good scare now and then, but your scarin' the punk a bit too much. Tone it down, kay?"

"Of course, Undyne,~" the _giant spider_ responded, half her arms forward and the other half alternating between pushing at her chest and folding behind her back. "It would be delirious and delusional of me to not take your words seriously, wouldn't it?~" Louise felt the same fear trickling back into her.

She couldn't be up here. It wasn't right. Not only for a proper conversation, but also as a noble. She was supposed to be inside with a warm fire next to her and comfortable cushions beneath her. She was supposed to be served refreshments from the maids and inn-tenders, not be terrified by literal _giant purple_ spiders.

"I-I am heading in," Louise declared, gripping Derflinger a little tighter as she took a step forward. "The chilly air up here is doing me little good."

"Wait, you serious?" Undyne asked her. She could _feel_ the confusion in the fish's one good eye. "Your tower is like _way_ higher up than this. Sides, I thought ya wanted to be the ambassador ta monsters and all that."

Louise bit her lip. Of course in the moment she was deciding to leave her partner had to have a spark of true intelligence. Leaving now would be detrimental to showing the generosity of Tristian with the monster kingdom. Then again…

"A-And… Muffet is free to join me, us, inside." She only glanced at the _giant spider_ , taking note of how her eyes were pulled up and arms arranged in a way that gave no relief or invitation for conversation. "But it is as… she said. I am… not sure of my footing on shingles. These were not made for traction."

And that was a truth she had studied in architecture. The tiles of all buildings, peasantry to noble, were meant for water to run off of them, prevent birds from perching on them. The very act of her not falling of balance yet was proof of her ability to maintain balance in any situation, as her sister may say.

"Oh? But I am beginning to see the benefit from a conversation up here.~" The spider's poisonous words reached Louise. Her long pink locks felt like they were standing on end. "Out of the way of curious eyes.~" Two arms spread out around her. "Up high for my dearies to climb.~" Two more hands unfolded into the air. "And only _trusted_ company around me.~"

And the last of the spiders _thin, hard, and off-colored_ limbs settled above her head, folding her chitinous digits until they made a heart above her head. A single-downward pointed heart, with two curved lobes up top.

Louise felt her skin crawl, like spiders were already on her.

"Th-then we can talk in the morning!" She rushed her voice, deplorably, but holding her limbs tight to keep herself from shaking. "I'll be… more prepared for a proper conversation. A-And as the ambassador of Tristian, it will… a-allow me to better speak to… you."

The _giant purple spider_ adopted a grin Louise knew was akin to Undyne's, in the sense that it conveyed more than merely personal joy. Undyne's was a grin that showed love for violence and destruction. Muffet's, this _giant spider's_ , was that for unease and terror.

"You okay with that?" Undyne asked her. Louise was fortuned to at least hear the lack of joy in the monster's voice. "I mean, I'm not going anywhere. Not yet at least. No way am I just gonna walk away from another freakin' monster!" And, in truth, Louise could understand the sentiment.

She simply could not stand whom the sentiment was related _to._

"I understand," Louise spoke honestly to her partner. "But I… am not prepared right now. Just… give me till tomorrow and I'll be ready." A night's rest, and sun instead of stars, and Louise was sure she could talk to the other monster.

So long as she had extra rolls of paper and Undyne's strength beside her.

Louise made her way to the edge of the building, feet stomping on the shingles to keep herself from slipping. To fall now would only make the pair of monsters laugh at her, and that was not something she could abide in any realm or time.

"Do you need help crawling down?~" She heard the _giant hideous spider_ call behind her. "I'm sure my precious dearies would be more than willing to lend a hand or three to someone as delicate as you, Ahuhuhuhu~" Again, Louise ignored her.

Granted, she knew the moment she reached the edge of the inn's roof she'd need help getting down. This was not the Academy, with nobles abound or stairs to access. It was a commoner's part of town, having only what it needed, lacking all luxuries and conveniences.

Undyne would help her down, or perhaps Derflinger could educate her on a spell she had yet to master. She held the blade in her arms a bit tighter. Magic was coming to her slowly, and when she learned the spells she needed, she'd be of more use to Undyne than a straightforward guide.

Magic couldn't help her now, however.

Not that it would be unable to help her descend the great height she was currently at, which it easily would, and not that it would allow her to assist Undyne, which it most definitely could. It was that the threat she now saw had very little to do, and could be helped, with magic. Namely, the threat that currently lurked down below.

In the dark of alley, carrying only the remnants of the stars' glow, there was something new that she knew, certainly wasn't meant to be there. At least not in the numbers that they were.

Spiders. Many, _many_ spiders.

Dozens, hundreds, _thousands_ of spiders.

They were covering the entire cobblestone floor of the alleyway, turning it into a moving carpet of _black shadow swallowing SPIDERS_.

"Kay, now I'm _very_ sure it ain't me shaking." Derflinger spoke again through Louise's stupor. "Somethin' ya don't like down there?"

_Who in their sane state of mind would be found of that MANY SPIDERS?!_

"Yes, is there something unfit for your gaze?~" The _giant disgusting_ spider question fruitfully behind her. "Perhaps you'd care to perch on the roof until my dearies… scurry away, Ahuhuhuhu~"

Louise took slow steps away from the edge of the roof, already sure that she would not be leaving it for some time. How could she? How could she possibly imagine leaving the safety and security of the high roof while there were enough spiders beneath her swallow an army's cavalry?

She was vulnerable though, because she was standing so tall. Spiders, were attracted to tall things. Tall straight things that had too many places to perch and crawl over. That was a problem, a debilitating one.

A ball, a ball was safe.

Balls were safe shapes that could endure trips leagues in distance. They were safe shapes, they had to be. So, she'd become a ball. She just had to make herself as small a ball as possible.

Louise dropped Derflinger in the same moment she dragged her feet along the dirty shingles of the inn, stopping only when her heels were resting against her buttock. Her arms wrapped around her legs, pulling them closer still.

"Uh, kid?" She heard Undyne question above her. Undyne didn't need to be a ball, despite being so tall. She was covered in armor, even armor that wasn't thick and heavy. She had scales. "I, uh, don't get what yer doin', but I'm pretty sure that's not a safe thing to do this high up. You humans are kinda fragile."

"Don't worry about her, Undyne~" The _other monster_ responded. "I'm sure the little sweetie just needs some time to cope. Not many can handle the sight of my dearies, so loyal and numerous are they." Spider controlling spiders, controlling a lot of spiders, controlling _too_ many spiders.

"Yeah and no," Undyne responded. "We sure as hell gotta talk, but I told ya. I'm not leavin, the pinkette alone." That was when she felt Undyne, her significantly weighty frame, sit down next to her.

Then she felt the webbed hands and scaly palms of the fish pull her closer. Louise did nothing to fight the position.

She fell into the monster's side-ways embrace with joy, letting her head rest on the muscled thigh of the fish, the scaly exterior covered by the odd fabric of her leggings. She still knew little of what they were, but it was far more comfortable than the hard shingles or the fish's scales.

And the weight of her muscled limbs on her shoulder was nothing short of uplifting, keeping her warm and safe from the _thousands or even millions_ of spiders that were _crawling around the inn's dark walls_. Undyne saved the maid from a noble, so she'd save Louise from another monster.

"Geez, you're shiverin' a lot, ya know that punk?" Louise was not sure, but she did not mind, not at the moment. She was safe in her small little ball. "Just relax, kay? I'm sure whatever's botherin' ya will go away soon."

"Oh, were my dearies uncomfortable things for you~? I am certain their numbers _more_ than make up for their small frames." Muffet was talking again, voice singing as she repeated Undyne's question. Louise kept her grip _firm_ on Undyne's arm. "Perhaps you only need to spend some time with one of them. Perhaps _I_ could have that privilege, Ahuhuhuhu~"

Louise felt her mind scream at the idea of it. Alone with a _giant purple_ spider, willing and teasing her with venomous words, chitinous frames, poisonous words, sticky threads, and horrifying imagery. It was all there, caught in every one of her ill-conceived laughs!

They had found another monster, and it was a spider. A _giant, purple, Gothically dressed spide_ r.

Why, in the name and blessing of all the Founder had given, was _another_ monster _a SPIDER!?_

"Wait, pinkette, do you not like spiders?"

* * *

"Of course I do not like _spiders_ , Undyne!"

Undyne lifted her hands up as the pinkette exploded. Kay, it wasn't a literal explosion, but with her face that red in the dark and snarl that large, something must've gone off in her. Probably in her head.

"They are quiet and nasty killers that lurk in every crack, corner, and edge in a household. No matter how many times you rid them from your room they manage to crawl back and find the perfect place to stare at you!"

Well they did have big eyes, and Muffet had probably the biggest eyes in the Underground, at least after Loox.

"And that is _not_ to give attention to how they multiple exponentially faster than humans and _use_ that to cover every spare crack in a room with their webs and prey!" Undyne couldn't tell if this was a long-time coming or not, but it didn't seem like something she should stop.

She tried stopping Papyrus during his training once, and the doofus ended up losing an arm. They found it, but Undyne was pretty sure the humans weren't as capable as monsters.

"And even when you are _kind_ enough to remove them without harming them, they bite!" Undyne watched the pinkette go off with her good eye, trying to hide a grin as she did so. "And then you have to have nobles with water affinity treat you for days to ensure the poison you were doused with doesn't do harm to you! And _that's_ in the unlikely case that you survive long enough for that!"

And this was probably the most she'd heard the punk complain about something other than her. Well, other humans were a close second, but that was usually just an off jab and that was it. This though, the pinkette had some _venom_ to her words.

"That is not to bring a point of how _alien_ and _filthy_ they are!" She banged in head in a way that made her pink locks wave. It was adorable. "Carrying more disease and infestation than the commoner doomed to muck through the _sewer_ system of the _Plebian's whorehouse!_ So disgusting and _degenerate_ are they that maids must use special tools merely to _dispose_ of them!"

Undyne scratched her chin as the human kept going. She should've timed this in some way. Probably compared it to the other anime Alphys had on deck to see if it was a new record. She'd heard a lot of humans rant in that research, but this was a whole new level of crap-throwing.

"When something as sickly and _deceptive_ as a spider attempts to crawl near you, the only logical emotion is _complete dislike!_ " Undyne had a strong opinion the brat meant hate. "Because any ounce of compassion or _empathy_ will only lead to your _demise!_ All spiders in all _kingdoms_ should be-!"

"Should be what, little morsel~?" Undyne looked up to see Muffet gazing down at the punk, all five of her eyes focused on her. Still had that smile though, small and pathetic. Fangs were always nice though. "I so do hope you mean cared for and tended to~. What a cruel gesture otherwise to one who has been so inviting to others, Ahuhuh~"

Undyne rolled her eyes at the monster. Muffet was about as inviting to guests as Hotland was to snow. That stuff only got a free ride on San's stalls.

"Perhaps there are lessons you still need to be taught~" Muffet unfurled her arms like an Echo flower, her stupidly thin legs walking across the shingles of the roof without a fault. "There are simply _so_ many details my precious dearies share with me, I am sure, you've never even dreamed~."

Her smile grew a bit more, showing off more than just two of her fangs at least. Seemed small though with her twig-thin arms stretched out like she was trying to make a snow angel. Actually, Undyne had never seen her do that before Probably because there was no way she'd be able to handle the cold. Muffet was a wimp like that.

_"We've been stomped on."_

_"We've been ridiculed."_

_"We've been swept away."_

_"We've been burned."_

Undyne was grimacing the more she heard Muffet's spiders talk. Those little creeps really did like talking, sorta like the villains in that thriller anime. Tension went away quickly though when you saw the monster, and Undyne was still _super_ thrilled to be looking right at the spider monster.

"My dearies have been _awfully_ patient around humans~" Muffet leaned over on her thin legs, letting those five eyes of hers bear down on the punk. Said punk had a pretty good grip on Undyne, at least enough to make her think twice about the human's strength. Still weak though. "More patient that it appears _you_ have been to _them_ , Ahuhuhu~"

_"Ahuhuhuhu"_

_"Ahuhuhuhu"_

_"Ahuhuhuhu"_

Undyne felt her scales shiver a little at the childish laughter that seemed to rise and surround them on the rooftop. Wasn't really much of a curiosity of where they were coming from.

"Okay, that's gettin' up there in the creep scale," Undyne finally spoke up, holding her webbed hand palm first to Muffet. She put the other one over the punk's head. No chance of her moving then. "I think we're missing something here, least I am." And she hated hate feeling a lot. She got it whenever Alphys went to her 'other' lab to work.

"Creepy?" Muffet asked, her eyes finally looking at Undyne over the punk. She had a five to one advantage, but Undyne had the ultimate advantage. Her arm-mounted hand cannons. "I'm only _conversing_ with a human that dared to think I'd be unable to understand~"

Did the brat think that? No way. Undyne had never heard her say it. She just called everyone stupid, from herself to the other humans. She did kind of shy away from the humans that could do magic though…

"And it would be awfully inconsiderate of me to not care for my dearies, wouldn't it~" Muffet's voice spun out like her webbing, twisted and sticky. But Undyne had to admit. The stars looked _great_ across her black eyes. "Especially over a human that has as many uses as a kitchen cupboard."

Okay, not that sounded like an insult. Weird one, one she didn't get, but it sounded like it.

"Hey, that ain't fair Muffet," Undyne pointed at the spider. Said _monster_ having three hands on her hips and two more propping the third to hold her face. Her fangs were visible and gleaming. It looked awesome. "The pinkette may not be the quickest on the uptake, but she's been helpin' me non-stop since I got here."

Undyne put her own hand over the human girl's hair, ruffling her long pink locks. Oddly, the girl didn't do much more than shake her head. She must be tired, cause it was kinda later for her.

"Sides, that's not to mention you're both a lot alike." Undyne grinned with her words.

"W-We most certainly are not!" Muffet dropped her arms to stomp a thin leg on the shingles. It sounded like someone dropping a pebble, really. "I share _nothing_ with a human that cannot even appreciate the challenging work and foresight that goes into my craft."

Well, okay, yeah, Undyne could give her that one. The pinkette was kinda hard to sell on new things. It did take her like… half a week or something to at least admit the Underground was real. That just meant she had pride. And there wasn't much wrong with that.

"She couldn't even admit the greatness of my dearies," Muffet continued, half her eyes closing as she placed a few of her thin hands over her chest. "We have eight eyes to see and six arms to move, and she dared to believe she could match our work and expertise?"

"Again Muffy, that's not fair," Undyne spoke the spider's nickname. She looked adorable when she pouted with her fangs, like the side-kick in Kissy Mew Mew 2. Except she had spider fangs, not cat fangs. "The pinkette's been workin' her butt off in school, and bein' honest, she ain't exactly top of her class."

She felt the kid shiver against her. Undyne snorted. Guess the punk wasn't too tired to hear her. Guess that was okay though because there wasn't much use in talking behind the human's back. That was what cowards did.

"But she's been gettin' better faster than a lotta monsters I've seen. Heck, kinda reminds me of Papyrus here and there." If Papyrus was weak instead of strong and hard instead of soft. But aside from that, really. "Reminds me of how ya left to start cookin' in the Core, ya know. Ya did it cause it helped ya, no matter how much that stupid robot said otherwise."

Undyne still had to figure out where that guy came from. Alphys was always so hush-hush about the dude, and he was always so determined to stay in Hotland, she never got a chance to find out. Didn't really matter though.

She was _way_ outside Hotland now.

"Ahuhuhuhu~," Undyne heard Muffet giggle. She knew what that meant. "Well, isn't this an unexpected treat? The Great Captain of The King's Royal Guard, defending a human from a monster's _poisonous_ words." The heck was she talking about?

Undyne looked back up at Muffet, seeing her fellow monster focusing all five of her eyes on the human in her lap. When she and Alphys found a new anime in the dump, she got the same look in her eyes.

Must be a chick thing.

"Here I am, defenseless Miss Muffet, out on a stroll in the darkest of nights~. And what do I find but a human and monster strung together by their own webbing." There was so much wrong with those two sentences, Undyne didn't know where to begin.

It wasn't dark, they were talking on the rooftop, she didn't have rope let alone webbing, and if she considered the likely hundreds of spiders surrounding the building lonely, then Undyne was _starting_ to get where the creepiness for spiders came from.

Undyne watched with the brow of her good eye raised as Muffet leaned forward, keeping herself upright with two of her thin arms on Undyne's shoulder. The one more was scratching at her chin while the other three were held around her frame. Her arms reminded Undyne something about Muffet.

She was stupidly light, second only to air!

"And now here I see between my dearies and I a couple I've never seen above or below.~" Was she talking in rhymes? That was weird, really weird. And getting kind of creepy. Undyne was pretty sure that was the reason Louise was shaking on her lap.

"But between you two, I wonder who leads who?~" Two of her arms moved, one pointing at Undyne, at her good eye like it wanted to hurt her, which was a bad idea. And the other at the punk. That was an even worse.

And wait, what was that about leading?

"Can't say either is leading here," Undyne returned. Seriously, what was Muffet doing? Maybe it was a spider thing, not caring about personal space and all. At least she wasn't hard on the eyes… her good eye. "The punk's helping me and I'm payin' back. More like partners than anything else. I mean, hell, she helped me get this."

Undyne reached back produced the one item she knew made it all worthwhile. _Asgore's Lance_.

She knew well enough that she and the punk were on good terms, but if she had to describe it like Alphys would, then the lance was the sure sign that Louise was there or her. And, honestly, Undyne knew she was there for the punk to.

Partners were fun like that.

"And that doesn't strike you as odd? Ahuhuhuhu~" Her hand covered her lips as she giggled, eyes squinting through some joke Undyne really didn't get. Muffet had a weird sense of humor.

_"Ahuhuhuhu"_

_"Ahuhuhuhu"_

_"Ahuhuhuhu"_

And the other spiders did, too.

"Are you sure you're on _equal_ terms?~" Muffet asked again, eyes blinking out of unison as she asked. Kinda cool watching the stars that were reflecting off her eyes appear and disappear, but the question was what Undyne was focused on.

"That's kinda what partners means so… yeah, I do."

"You _are_ caring for this human like a docile pet.~" Muffet pointed out, literally with her thin hands. And that got Undyne's lips to screw sideways. That made about as much sense as the humans using such fragile tools for their building supplies!

"More like I'm making sure she's okay," Undyne put _Asgore's Lance_ back behind her back, tilting her gaze to match Muffet's. It was pretty hard, considering Undyne had muscles to spare and Muffet looked more like a stick figure with extra detail. "You weren't 'xactly subtle about the entry, with all your friends and everything."

"Oh? Am I to simply dismiss my dearies?~" Muffet questioned again. "To simply request my dear companions to leave for the sake of a mere human?~ Ahuhuhuhu~" Well, it was kind of what happened with Undyne spoke to Asgore, mostly all the dog squad leaving so they could talk.

_"Does she want us to go?"_

_"Does she care more about the human?"_

_"Does she care nothing for us?"_

_"Does she want to make us leave?"_

And boy could Muffet's spiders talk up a storm. It really did sound like they had the building surrounded… which they might have. Spiders were never in short supply wherever Undyne went in Waterfall. Except her house. They knew better than to stick inside her house.

Undyne looked down at the pinkette as the little guys kept jeering. She was shaking _a lot_ , like one of the kids in Snowdin when they got a bad cold. Speaking off… it was actually pretty cold out. Maybe she was catching something.

Undyne knew she was hot, but that wasn't the kind of heat she could share.

"Hey, maybe we should take this up inside," Undyne spoke up, rubbing her webbed hand over the pinkette's hair. Weird that she didn't push it away like she did with every other form of contact. She must really be out of it.

"Oh Undyne, how very _humane_ of you.~" Muffet spoke again. "Caring for such a _needy_ human, only moments after they hoped to harm my _precious_ dearies." Did she say that? Well, kinda, actually.

"More like tryin' ta help a friend for helpin' me." Undyne raised her free hand, pointing it at the spider monster's face. Got her to back off pretty quickly. "Sides, not like you were 'round when I popped onto the surface."

"No?~ Was I not around?~" Muffet asked, her hands moving about her face, each one trying to make her look curious. It was kind of an achievement in Undyne's book, not that she was keeping track.

Able to go from kinda creepy to kinda annoying.

"Are you sure you aren't just latching onto the little human?~ It looks like she's latched onto you, Ahuhuhuhu~" Her hands rolled until they were covering her lips for another bout of laughter. Undyne was just trying to figure out what the monster's problem was.

Here they were, on the surface, finally up from the Underground, and she was so focused on the pinkette that she wasn't even asking Undyne about any of the important stuff? It was just too weird, and this was coming from a monster that humans casting magic!

And that wasn't even counting the glint in her eyes. Natural glint that is, not the stars. It was in three of her five eyes, looking at Undyne with an expression of pure delight. And it just didn't make sense!

Why would she be so focused to how Louise was holding onto her and not… oh… _oh_.

Undyne let her lips curl until her grin was as bright as ever, far bigger and therefore better than Muffet's petite grin. Sure, enough as Undyne's grin grew, Muffet's shrank, not that was going to stop Undyne from grinning. She knew exactly why Muffet was so focused on the punk now.

"Aw, c'mere!" Undyne interrupted, loudly. She had to, otherwise Muffet would just talk, then dance, then sing. She had to stop that.

So, she grabbed the monster by one of her arms, pulling her to her side.

"Phwaaa!" Muffet let out, falling into Undyne's side off balance and eyes wide. She only stopped when Undyne felt her leaning against her, like the pinkette but without the laziness. Still, she knew that meant Muffet was just going to get up and go.

One obvious thing about Muffet. She liked tying others down. She _hated_ being tied down.

"H-Hey!" She let out again as Undyne fixed her arm around her. Muffet had her spiders, but Undyne had her guns! "Again, with this? Why are you holding me like this again?"

"Cause you're probably gonna run away?" Undyne gave the monster a sincere grin, least one that she could manage while she was teasing her. "Or are ya just not used ta being the one held down?"

Undyne roared with laughter at the hot purple blush across Muffet's face, all five of her eyes wide and horrified. Derflinger was not far behind her.

"HAHA! Now that's what I'm takin' 'bout partner!" The kick-butt magic sword cheered with his laughter. "Puns _and_ innuendo. Yer a natural at this! Easily tha' best partner I've had!"

"Th-This is hu- _miliating_!" Muffet spoke louder beneath the crux of Undyne's arm. She still wasn't letting go. "Why am I being talked about in such a… a… _disgusting_ manner!" Six arms on Undyne's one, and the fish monster was hardly feeling the pull of the spider.

Went to show that quality over quantity every time.

"Stop actin' like you're not on board for this!" Undyne threw back, twisting her arm to ruffle her fellow monster's hair. The screech of indignation was music to her ears. "I saw the way you were lookin' at the pinkette. I only got one eye, but that doesn't mean I'm blind."

"What in the _Angel's_ name are you _talking_ about?!" Muffet yelled back, legs kicking against the tiles now. She couldn't even get one to break, let alone fall. And Undyne was doing that on accident. "I was pointing out your _insistence_ to be near a _human_!"

"Yup, near and clear," Undyne returned, looking down at the pinkette, head still nested in her lap. "Cause I'm not leavin' my friends alone again." Undyne flexed her fingers and racked her digits through the pinkette's hair. The strands sliding over the webbing of her hand.

It took that long for the monster to notice the punk had her hands over her face. When did that happen? Why did that happen?

"Then what about that sword?!" One of Muffet's hands pointed at Derflinger. Her other five still uselessly fought at the scales on Undyne's arm. Like twigs trying to break a steel, baby. "Is that a friend of yours now, too?!" Undyne was sure her gums were showing again.

"Better believe it!" Undyne answered, feeling her chest swell. "Cause he's a talking sword! He's probably one of the best things up here!"

"And you're a partner ta match!" Derf spoke back, rust squeaking as he did so. "Haven't met all the monsters from down below, but I'd bet my pommel none of 'em would get my _steel_ of approval!" And the joke made Undyne laugh even harder.

Even as it made Muffet whine with annoyance and the pinkette curl further into her lap. The two of them really were a lot alike.

A couple of outcasts that were every bit as awesome as the rest of their kind, but trying to do everything by themselves. Undyne had seen enough of the pinkette to know that she didn't make a lot of friends at that school place. And Muffet… the Underground could be under mass evacuation and she'd do nothing about it, probably.

Undyne sat there for a moment, enjoying the night air with friends around her and the sky above her. It was nearly a perfect dream to her, minus all her friends still out in the Underground… and those that couldn't be here.

She had human friends looking out for her, one of them on her lap right now. She had monsters from the Underground, at least one still caught in the crux of her arm. And she had the stars above her, not the glowing rocks of Waterfall.

It was damn near close to perfect.

_"Is she okay?"_

_"Is she alright?"_

_"Should we help?"_

_"Does she need help?"_

Except for the hecklers that kept asking questions.

That really got Undyne, too. She was so sure the human saying was curiosity killed the cat, not the spiders. They had a penchant for spouts or something like that. It was from an old anime she'd seen with Alphys.

Either way, it sounded like the spiders were getting antsy. Actually, come to think of it, Undyne was just more surprised that they weren't crawling all over the place.

Then again, they were spiders. Out in the open wasn't really their thing. Dark alleys were a much better home for them. That or the outside of hotels or inside ruins. Dark places basically.

Wait, maybe _that_ was why Muffet was so uptight!

"Agh! It wasn't supposed to be like this!" Or… maybe not.

"Like what?" Undyne returned, looking at the five-eyed monster caught in the crux of her arm. "Hangin' out under the literal sky with literal stars? Can't say there's anything else I've wanted!" Plus, she had human friends. That was a plus.

"I'm supposed to be the one in control!" The spider yelled again, five of her six arms still pushing at Undyne's one. Kind of felt like the Snowdin kids trying to fight her off. "I-I spent all this time getting ready just to find you… and this is how it turns out!?"

Undyne clicked her tongue, rolling her head with the effort. Yeah, in retrospect, she could see how that could be upsetting. Having to plan something and it not going to the letter of what you wanted. Still, wasn't like it was a total loss! How else could they-

"All this time?" The pinkette mumbled beneath Undyne's hand.

She lifted her webbed appendage up, watching as the human shifted about, pink locks falling over her face. Her hand brushed them aside, stopping when her eyes were upon the caught spider's five. Still had a mean grip on Undyne's thigh though.

"What do you mean… all this time?" The pinkette asked again. Undyne wasn't entirely sure why.

"She probably just means like a day or two," the fish monster dismissed, waving her now free hand. "She may not look it, but Muffet here's a shy monster, always hidin' away from the rest of the Underground."

She chuckled at the indignant noise the monster made, legs kicking at the tiles of the roof. It sounded like water drops falling from Waterfall's stalactites.

"I… don't think she does, Undyne." The pinkette kept talking. She gave the brat a look with her good eye. "Think about it. The w… women inside said there has been 'laughter' at nights for some time, long enough to alter a normally robust business sector into a unoccupied region." Her hand swiped over the empty street beneath them.

"Ooookay," Undyne let out slowly, nodding her head. "So what? You're thinkin' she's been here for a few weeks or somethin'?" That'd be weird, for sure, but considering how Undyne wasn't even sure the other monsters were alive a few days ago, it kind of made sense.

At least, Muffet wasn't exactly the most explorative of monsters. Not like she was going to find her own answers. Speaking of, Muffet was being stiff in her arm all the sudden. What happened to all that fight and grit a few seconds ago?

"Perhaps…" the pinkette kept talking. "But… I suspect she has been here for far longer… haven't you?" The punk leaned over Undyne's lap, looking a bit closer at the spider monster. "Long enough that you have some sort of plan." Well now the human was just talking crazy.

But still, points for getting closer to another monster! Subtractions though for still having a grip on Undyne's leg. Stronger than usual at least, strong enough for the fish monster to feel it.

"Ahuhuhuhu,~" Looked like Muffet was getting used to the punk as well at least.

Or at least her position right now.

"Such confidence from a human.~" Muffet spoke in her sing-song voice, despite still being pretty damn secure under Undyne's arm. "Bravery showing only when the monsters are _constrained_.~" Given how close the pinkette was, Undyne could feel her shirk at the words. It was enough to make Undyne sigh.

Seriously, if she was going to help build that bridge between monsters and humans, she had to play the referee now? Not exactly what Asgore said she'd be signed up for.

"Alright, alright, that's enough there," Undyne spoke up, putting her webbed hand on top of Muffet's head, messing up those purple buns of hers. She could hear the spider choke at the action. "We're all friends here, no mockin' one another, just teasing, kay?"

"Then release me!" Muffet did the 180 again with her voice, eyes back up to Undyne. "How can I _possibly_ speak normally if I'm caught inhaling your _suffocating stench!?_ "

Wait, was she saying she smelled bad? No way! Sweat may smell like success, but no way was Undyne letting herself walk around smelling like gym shorts!

She just showered… bathed… well… she hadn't done that on the surface yet.

"I really smell that bad?" Undyne asked the pinkette, giving the human a sideways look. "I mean, not gonna pretend I'll make Echo Flowers jealous, but is it that bad?"

Undyne caught he hot blush on the punk's face before she quickly turned away. _That_ made Undyne groan.

Talk about embarrassing.

"Hey, if it helps ya partner, I can't smell a thing." The sword spoke up from his sheath. "I ain't _sheath_ ing ya!" Funny, but probably the best time for it.

Really embarrassing. Guess it just affirmed Derflinger was a cool _dude_.

"Kay, ya got a point," Undyne spoke uncurling her arm around Muffet's head.

The spider practically leaped up from her place, six arms grapping at Undyne's shoulder to steady herself. Her head tilted back until she was staring up at the stars… ain't gulping at the air like it was on short supply.

No way that was true though. Just one more benefit of the surface for monsters!

"Phuaaaa," Muffet let out with a slow sigh, releasing the air she had gulped down. " _Much_ better.~ Now I can enjoy a conversation.~"

The spider monster took place behind Undyne, a few of her arms gripping at the fish monster's shoulders. Couldn't be all for support. Spiders were supposed to be stupidly dexterous. They had eight limbs for the Angel's sake!

"Now, I believe the human was speaking about my _presence_ on the surface.~" Muffet began to speak again, except now she was really leaning over Undyne. Seriously, didn't she _want_ to get some breathing room?

The pinkette was backing up from her, but she was keeping eyes on Muffet. Not a big curiosity why there.

"And I will confess, I have been up here for _quite_ some time.~" Wait, what?

"What?" Undyne repeated, twisting until she was looking at all of Muffet's five black eyes. the grin beneath them was just visible.

"Oh yes,~" her fellow monster responded, sounding _way_ too cheery about the this. "I can still clearly recall being whisked away from my dearies in the Underground, falling through some void and popping out under the stars.~"

Her chitinous hands wrapped further around Undyne's blue scales, but the fish monster wasn't paying attention to that. She didn't believe the pinkette was either.

"But the _humans_ , Ahuhuhuhu~" Muffet laughed the words. It was enough or Undyne to feel the pinkette shiver against her. "Humans surrounded me and spoke out in _disgust_.~" The smile wasn't really welcoming right now. Undyne realized she should have probably worked on that.

"The summoning ritual…" Undyne turned to the pinkette again, seeing the little punk staring at Muffet with wide eyes of her own. "You were summoned like Undyne, through the Spring Time Summoning Ritual." Was that the full name for it? Wait, no, that didn't matter.

"Yes, I believe that was it. Thank you dearie.~" One of Muffet's long thin arms extended towards the punk. "And I must say, as perplexed as I was, it hardly compared to the _unease_ of the humans there, Ahuhuhuhu~."

Actually, Undyne got that one. She remembered how the pinkette and the rest of the brats at that school reacted to her. That was pretty funny.

"But there I was, all alone on the surface above, with humans treating me in every way we were told not to treat them.~" Two of Muffet's hands waved above her head, crossing and slashing at one another. Bad signs. "So I made sure to _familiarize_ myself with… more _welcoming_ company, Ahuhuhu~"

" _Ahuhuhuhu~"_

" _Ahuhuhuhu~"_

" _Ahuhuhuhu~"_

" _Ahuhuhuhu~"_

" _Ahuhuhuhu~"_

Undyne knew she didn't need that one explained to her. The shivering the pinkette was doing was about as bad as before though. Guess she still wasn't over the spiders surrounding them. Meh, she'd get used to it.

"And it has been fine for some time,~" She shrugged with a few of her shoulders, the rest still leaning over Undyne. "I cannot say that it has been the perfect world on the surface, but there are _so_ many dearies up here all _yearning_ for a bit of attention from me, Ahuhuhuhu~" Didn't need that one explained either.

Still though…

"So, you've been here for a while…" Undyne let out, kind of surprised by her own words. "You've been, just, up here by yourself all this time?" Actually sounded pretty bad.

Undyne had Siesta, Derflinger, and the pinkette with a heart of gold. She had human friends. Yeah, she _was_ going to rescue the rest of the monsters still, but she wasn't alone.

Didn't sound like Muffet had the same luxury.

"For some time, yes,~" A hiss followed her words, slithering through her fangs. That was weird, because Muffet was a spider, not a snake. Did spiders hiss? Probably not. "But it wasn't _all_ deplorable now.~ I have dearies to assist and _humans_ to entertain, don't I?" Dearies were spiders, but who were the humans?

"You mean… the noble who summoned you, correct?" The pinkette asked again. She gave the punk a glance, seeing her still leaning away from Muffet, yeah, but gripping Undyne's leg. Undyne would probably need to use half her strength to get those fingers off her scales now. "Did you… do something to them?"

"Now why upon the surface would you _imagine_ such a thing, little dearie?~" Muffet asked. Actually a good question. The humans were weird, and weak, so the heck did Muffet must be afraid.

Yeah, she wasn't exactly able to lift a boulder or anything, but she could tie up half of Snowdin, if she could stand the cold.

"B-Because you… don't have a high opinion of me." Undyne blinked at the pinkette's words. Again, actually a good point. She was feeling kind of left out now. "And my father often said hatred for a group begins with the individual."

Undyne was getting all these lessons and she didn't know what to do with them. Still, not a lot to complain about. Humans and monsters talking under a starry night wasn't a terrible thing in her book, or any book she knew of

" _Ahuhuhuhu_ ~. _Dearie me_ , how perceptive of you.~" Muffet responded with her sing-song voice. "I suppose what you lack in eyes, you compensate with your ears, Ahuhuhu~" Was the pinkette growling?

"And I… I suppose what you lack in _grace_ you make up for with _arrogance_!" Well now she was barking, but hey, better than whimpering in Undyne's books. She knew the human had a back-bone to her. All her friends did.

"Ohoho?~ And are you to say I am _beneath_ you, little dearie?~" And it looks like that included Muffet. Angel knew she was friends with all monsters. "A human hardly as old as freshly hatched babe?" Did humans hatch?

Undyne wasn't so sure about that, least they didn't in those special anime that Alphys had found.

"I am nearing my eighteenth year!" Undyne felt her head shake hard enough to swivel her ponytail. The punk was seriously _that_ old? She was sure the brat was, well, younger! "And better I looked younger than I am than looked aged beyond my years, such as _yourself_." Undyne could feel a fire coming.

" _Ahuhuhuhu~,_ _beyond_ my years, am I?~" Undyne was having a tough time telling if Muffet was grinning or scowling. Her mouth was just too small to tell. "I never knew humans were so _full_ of compliments, recognizing the wisdom of me and my dearies,~"

" _Smart beyond our years."_

_"Wise beyond our age."_

_"Is she being kind?"_

_"Is she being sweet?"_

Undyne had to admit, the situation was kind of unfair to the pinkette. Being outnumbered in an argument pretty much never worked out. Least she'd seen a lot of heroes in human anime be beaten in numbers like this.

"Your _wisdom_ is as questionable as your _attire!_ " the pinkette shot back like a lance. Had a nice thrust to it, especially with the way she stomped her foot. Good form. "No creature in the Founder's lands could possibly see you as anything but a threat or nuisance dressed that way!" And the finger of accusation was raised.

"Says the _human_ with the skirt of a child.~" Muffet pointed with one thin hand at the pinkette's skirt. "A blouse for _students_." Another thin hand at the punk's chest. "And the unkempt hair of a discarded _doll_. Clearly you are no one's _dearie_ , sweet little _dear_ , Ahuhuhuhu.~" And her three other hands covered her mouth as she laughed.

Now it was getting too far.

"Okay, break it up you two," Undyne spoke as she grabbed them both by the scruffs of their collars. Easy for the pinkette, given the outfit she was wearing. A bit harder for the goth think Muffet had going.

"Gha!" the spider let out, two hands at her collar and the rest on Undyne's arm. Still was like a breeze trying to move her.

She at least beat the pinkette when it came to noise. Being quiet at least.

"What are you _doing_ Undyne?" the pinkette pretty much yelled at her. Hilarious, given that her legs were dangling above the tiles. Had to be careful or she'd slip out of her jacket. "Let me down this instant!"

"Will do," Undyne agreed. "Just as soon as you and Muffet agree ta play nice." She gave the pinkette a confident grin, just enough to show her that everything as alright. Smiles meant that for humans. "We're all friends here, and geez do we have a lot to talk about!"

The punk 'hmphed' at her, an adorable little noise that would've kind cute. Thing was though, Undyne was running out of her massive supply of patience.

There was another monster up on the surface, and Undyne _was_ going to talk to her about everything.

About the stars, about the food, about the humans, about the land, about the freaking magic the humans were _somehow_ capable of casting. About everything she'd been through, about everything _Muffet_ had been through. Like those clothes!

She had to tell the spider about her armor, about Derflinger, about _Asgore's Lance_ ….

 _Tell Muffet about Asgore's Death_.

Undyne let go of the monster and brat at the same time, hearing them both hit the shingles with relative ease. Her fellow monster had two hands massaging her neck, a pair of her five eyes on her and another on the punk.

Undyne knew that as soon as she told her the news, all eyes would be on her.

Could she tell her? Asgore was their king… _was_ their king. He was awesome beyond words and literally the reason they all survived. How… How would Muffet take it?

Maybe she should hide it, just tell the spider at another time. Like after they'd had some human food and that beer of theirs. That alcohol stuff made her feel pretty good, so maybe it'd help?

A slow sight sifted through Undyne's razor teeth. No, she knew she couldn't do that. That would be unfair, and she'd _kill_ someone for hiding something like that from her. She could remember pretty darn clearly, she nearly did.

But the pinkette…. Louise was there for her. All that meant was that Undyne had to be here for Muffet.

"Muffet… we gotta talk," Undyne started, already knowing she was hating where the talk had to go. Still, she couldn't call herself a monster if she was afraid of _words_ , of all things. "It's about Asgore, a-and… the rest of the Underground."

This wasn't going to be easy. Hell, Undyne knew she'd prefer to try and bench-press the core then doing this. At least she'd enjoy that, but this… this was going to be-

"I know he's dead, Undyne." Huh?

Undyne blinked at the spider, her fellow monster stretching her eights limbs in odd directions and wearing the coy and really small smile as per usual.

Why in the name of the Angel was Muffet grinning?

"Why do you think I'm here Undyne?~ The moment a few of my dearies whispered about what you had found, I _knew_ had to make haste for you."

Undyne grabbed at _Asgore's Lance_ , feeling the red steel beneath her scales and webbed fingers. It was still hot to hold and heavier than its weight led her to believe. But at least now, maybe, she wasn't the only one who knew the significance of it.

"How did you know?" The pinkette asked. Why did she ask? Muffet literally just said how. "Spiders, perhaps, as… _disturbing_ as the imagery is, the implication you are implying is you _knew_ what happened to your king... You knew _Undyne_ was here… and you didn't try and find her?" Huh?

"Heh, that's a fine _point_ the human's got." Derflinger spoke up, rusted hilt squeaking with his voice.

"Oh, little human, you _simply_ don't understand.~" Muffet waved two of her chitinous arms at the pinkette. At least the punk wasn't shying away from her as much anymore, as much being the key part of that sentence.

"Then _assist_ me, spider," the pinkette challenged. The backbone the pinkette had would've made Undyne grin, if this wasn't such a serious conversation. When had it become that. "I may not be a noble of great renown, but I have sworn to assist Undyne with the monsters of her kingdom, so I believe that entails me to know what it is her fellow _monsters_ are capable of."

"Is that how you believe you have earned your right?~" They were arguing again. "Perhaps you do not understand the _lowliness_ of humans compared to a _loathsome_ monster, Ahuhuhuh~"

Undyne realized they were arguing again. They were arguing like Muffet hadn't just said what she had.

Muffet _knew_ about Asgore. She _knew_ he was gone. _How?_

"If you do _not_ tell me your ways this instant, monster, then I shall-"

" _Muffet!"_ Undyne yelled, loudly.

The spider monster shook at the words, the punk doing the same. But the six chitinous arms of the spider shaking was more obvious than the girls. Sides, Undyne had her good eye on the monster that admitted she knew _Asgore was dead_.

"How'd you know Asgore's dead?" Undyne stood tall over the spider, looking down at her five eyes with her good one. It may have been dark out, but the moon was still casting a good enough shadow on her.

"I-I told your… the human," Muffet's voice broke as she answered. "My dearies told me-"

**_BANG!_ **

Muffet and the pinkette jumped again. This time, because Undyne had summoned a lance and slammed it down behind the spider. Damn, that really broke the tiles. She'd have to pay Siesta back later somehow.

But first, Muffet and answers.

"I'm not the expert on spiders, but I'm pretty sure I'm faster than them," Undyne started. "And no way can I believe they got news to ya that fast. Not so fast that you're _laughin_ ' at his death." She was snarling now, she knew it.

Snarling at a monster was _not_ the way she wanted this to go. Not with another monster. But damn, she had sworn to maim anyone who spoke bad about Asgore a while back. And that was when there were only monsters around her.

"They did! They did!" All Muffet's arms flailed as she spoke quickly, mouth upturned as she attempted to speak.

_"We did!"_

_"We did!"_

_"We did!"_

_"We did!"_

"My dearies have been watching you! Watching for me!" The spider kept talking, talking fast at least. It was better than the sing-song dismissive voice about _Asgore's Death_ at least. "And when they spoke of the lance you found… I-I was not able to work for the day!"

Least she that made since. At least, so long as it explained _how_ she got knew so quickly!

"You're not answerin' my question, Muffet," Undyne kept on, leaning over the spider now. Weird, trapping a spider without a web. Maybe her lances could do that. "How'd your spiders get to tell ya 'bout Asgore?"

"B-Because of the summoning contract!" The what now?

"The contract?" The pinkette spoke for her. Did she know what was up? "That is only meant to show loyalty between the summoner and their familiar. All students are taught that. The only specialty of them is awareness of the other." Nice, but still not answering Undyne's questions.

" _It does!_ " Muffet spoke far quicker now. Undyne knew she could be scary. Good thing that had benefits. Like friends on a boring night. "Vitty spoke often of the power of us Void familiars!"

What familiars?

"Void familiars?" the pinkette asked for Undyne. Guess they did think alike, too. "I've never heard of such a thing, I studied the art of the Spring Festival for _weeks_." It was a funny feeling that a human knew more about magic than a monster, but it did sound like this weird human magic and not real monster magic, so she could let it slide. Yeah.

"And have you ever seen a _monster_ summoned before, human?" Muffet's eyes were pretty damn wide when they looked at the pinkette. Wasn't all that scary to Undyne, but maybe that was cause she was looking at a monster a foot or three shorter than her, maybe. "My dearies have seen the pompous nobles from across your petty lines, and no other monsters have I seen. And _I have looked_."

Five arms pointed to her five wide eyes, both as black as a starless night.

Undyne had to admit, that was pretty cool.

"Gotta five 'er credit, I've been splittin' and choppin' 'round for a few centuries now, and Ah'm not gonna say I've seen a whole lotta other monsters up here," Derflinger added on. Dude had a point. None of the humans even _knew_ about monsters, least none of them at that school.

"Alright, cool, we're void familiars," Undyne added. That was actually a sweet title, but wasn't that important right now. "How's that relate ta you bein' able to know crap your spiders see? Power boost or something'?"

"Undyne, are you considering she's telling the truth?" The heck was the pinkette getting at? Muffet was being weird, but she wasn't like. She was a monster.

"No, it is… something to do what _their_ magic, not ours." Muffet twisted one of her chitinous hands, letting her others pull off the thin glove covering it. Actually, way too long to be a glove, but Undyne wasn't being picky with terminology right now.

She was being picky with timing and what was _supposed_ to make sense.

The long-glove came off though and Muffet held up her chitinous hand to Undyne. She had to squint her good eye to see what was the big deal about it. Stars were awesome, moon was too, but they didn't have as much light as the kickass sun.

But she could see something on her fellow monster's hand. Something that _probably_ wasn't there before. She may not have been a stickler for details like Alphys, but she was pretty sure she'd recognize something like this.

After all, tattoos weren't things you usually forgot about someone.

Wait a minute…

"That's a familiar's seal," the pinkette spoke up now. When did she get so close to them? Eh, not that it mattered. Undyne was looking at her right hand, the odd marks on the back of her scales, too. Not exactly the tattoo she'd want, but it did look kind of like Muffet's.

"It's a _void_ seal, as Vitty keeps calling it." Undyne wanted to know who Vitty was almost as much as the damn mark. Almost. "It is meant to grant me the power to communicate with all of the lesser creatures on the surface."

Undyne had to admit, it was unnerving. Listening to Muffet without her sing-song voice or laughter. Like if the pinkette started grinning and laughing.

"O _h._ So perhaps you are saying _this_ is proof of spiders inferiority to humans?" Yeah, just like that. Unnerving as all hell beneath the Underground.

" _Ahuhuhuhu~_ ," Muffet returned, with her usual laugh. Least that hadn't changed. "My dearies are _far_ from inferior to you, little human. This crest merely _encouraged_ the more… _verbose_ of your surface creatures to assist me."

That was it.

"Okay, stop." Undyne spoke up, holding her webbed hands up to the pinkette and fellow monster. These two… Undyne wasn't even old enough to drink and she already felt like she was mothering a couple of oddballs. She _really_ hoped Asgore didn't blame her for taking the human booze before her birthday.

First though, her good eye turned to Muffet.

"Now, tell me the hell this means?" The fish monster twisted and clenched her fist, showing off the tattoo on her scales.

"O-Oh? _Oh._ You didn't know?~" Undyne was beginning to reconsider her stance on Muffet's confidence. She was a lot easier to talk to when she was being held in the crux of her arm.

"Yeah, I don't, so do ya wanna share?" She held out her webbed hands palm up, waiting for her fellow monster to deliver.

Muffet made a show of curling her chitinous limbs, folding a few beneath her bust, two more behind her back, one to her mouth, and the last outstretched. Would've been impressive if they weren't strong as broken twigs.

"Unfortunately, not even _I_ know what they do.~" Undyne felt her jaw tightening. She almost saw the teeth from her lower jaw rising to her eye level. "I only know how _precious_ they are to the human kingdoms. Shall I say, _very dear_ , _Ahuhuhuhu~"_

" _So precious to keep a secret."_

_"So dear to tell a lie."_

_"So unknown it can't be seen."_

_"So precious it must be kept."_

Well damn. Undyne pushed a few of her webbed fingers to her skull, hoping to push down a headache she was getting. Seriously, this was bogus.

Here she was hoping to have a talk with the first monster she'd seen in over a week, _after ending up on the surface_ , throwing in a cool new human friend, and instead she was left with asking more questions that Alphys after a bad anime marathon.

Something told her that screaming wouldn't work. It'd just annoy Siesta and her family if she did anyway. Couldn't do that to the humans giving them a place to stay and eat. Especially with them not checking ID's and all…

"Then who would know?" The pinkette asked. "You're a _creepy_ one, you must have an idea of who would know what that mark does." Talk about a veiled insult.

Fortunately, Undyne took Muffet's laughter as she didn't care too much. Or it was the opposite, which was way worse.

But Undyne was impatient. She needed at least _one_ answer to something tonight.

"Do I have to grab you again?" Undyne asked, staring at Muffet's five eyes with her good one. "Cause I'll grab you again. Like really grab you. Grab you like Mettaton grabbed the Core."

Her fellow monster puffing out her cheeks would have been cute if she wasn't being such a brat about the information. Seriously, she and the pinkette just had _way_ too much in common. Maybe Asgore was onto something with his talk about monster and human pairs.

It was enough to get her to grin, golden smile evident to all five of Muffet's eyes.

"Undyne, dea-um…" Muffet stopped herself from saying something two hands putting themselves over her fanged grin. "I-I mean, I honestly do not know what your gift is. I know of its significance, the same as mine. Surely there must be something you can do now you could not before."

Even with all six of her arms waving about her for effect, Undyne couldn't think of anything. Pretty much nothing happened to her that she couldn't already do, or didn't already do a hundred time over, in the Underground.

"Undyne is extremely strong," the pinkette spoke up, like that was some new fact. Undyne shook her head. Only Asgore beat her in that category. "She endured the assault of magicians, stone, and steel with hardly any effort."

"No no, the _Captain_ of King Asgore's _Royal Guard_ was always made of… determined materials." That's a word for it. Least Undyne could take it as one. "Jumping over canyons like the _spectacular_ wolf spider and lifting boulders in common with his tarantula brethren is simply a Tuesday to Undyne." Undyne didn't get that saying, a Tuesday. Guess she wasn't the only one picking up human terms.

"Well… still, it is more than we knew previously," the pinkette spoke up, arms still tight around Undyne's arm. Wasn't hard to figure out why. They were pretty high off the ground, for a human. "And with this… I believe we can speak to the princess now about it."

Undyne watched Muffet's eyes sparkle at the mention of the human. The stars had nothing to do with it.

"Oh? The princess of the castle?~" Muffet removed her hands to flash her small smirk at the punk. Undyne looked at the pinkette, mainly cause she just pushed herself harder into her side. "My oh my, I may have been wrong Undyne.~ You _do_ have excellent _taste_ in your humans.~"

"Huh?" Undyne let out with a tilt of her head. She felt the pinkette squirm as her red ponytail fell into her pink locks. Hopefully they didn't knot… "The heck you are ya talking about?"

Seriously, what was with that look Muffet gave. She only seen the spider give that look when someone actually forked over the gold for her stuff, and it was usually stupidly priced.

"Heh, she's hopin' we won't have ta _claymore_ for the princess's attention!" Derf! With the timing of an anime hero! And the comedy to boot!

"Well, we likely will not have to wait for _months_ to gain Princess Henrietta's audience, but I very much doubt it will be tomorrow." The pinkette seemed to clarify. And Undyne would swear her face was starting to match her hair. "But it is a place to start. At the very least, she may be interested enough to assist us, given that we… you assisted in reclaiming… your king's lance."

Undyne gripped the red steel on her back, feeling it. It was still there. No way was she going to let it go anywhere else.

"Do tell me how it goes then,~" Muffet spoke up. That got the attention of Undyne's good eye, and a parting in her jaw. "We must be sure to speak again once you do. I am sure my dearies will be keeping an eye on you, Ahuhuhuhu~" And she turned till the frilled dress she wore spun.

Wait… now hold on a second!

Undyne grabbed two of Muffet's chitinous arms, both with one hand.

"Where do ya think you're goin'?" Undyne asked, good eye focused on the smaller monster's five.

She was so focused on them, she could see the pupils shrink under her gaze. Guess that was just one more thing she shared with the pinkette. Too much to count at this point.

"I'm pretty sure I told ya earlier, I ain't lettin' you go, not now that I've finally got 'nother monster ta hang out with!" And Undyne never said something she didn't mean. If she did, it would've made her a liar.

That, and she wouldn't have gotten the great expression out of Muffet.

That being her waving her arms like windmills trying to get away. That, while her usual smile was upturned in shock and eyes wide enough to reflect all the night sky.

"H-Hold on!" Muffet let out, losing that sing-song voice. Undyne only grinned. "I have other duties to attend to. Besides I… I cannot stay in a place _filled_ with more humans than my dearies!"

"Not like that's gonna be a problem," Undyne countered, beating her free fist to her chest. "You and I are gonna share a room! Siesta was awesome enough to give us a free one for saving her from a real slime ball of a human." And good thing she took that offer, too.

"That is hardly the issue!" Muffet countered again. Barely, just barely, Undyne could tell she was trying to get away. She had to focus to feel the effort the spider was putting in, though. "Besides, what could you _possibly_ wish to gain by us sleeping in the same room?!"

Undyne grinned at the monster, hearing the hundreds of other spiders clamoring in the alley beside them. Hard to tell if they were nervous as Muffet or excited as Undyne. Didn't feel like there was much of a difference.

"Who said anything 'bout sleeping?"

Seriously, what was she going to do with the first monster she'd seen in a week, sleep? Hell no! They were going to talk about _everything up on the surface!_

They had to talk about how weird but awesome some of the humans were. How weird but bad some of the humans were. The magic that was going on with some of them. The stars. Just… everything! They had so much to talk about!

Muffet, however, just had a color change to her face that almost made Undyne worry. Seriously, from black and bleak to hot blush lavender. It wasn't normal. Didn't she get it?

A glance at the pinkette to figure out what went wrong didn't help much. Mostly cause the punk had a face that matched her hair now, like she was a double pinkette. Didn't she get it either?

"Ghahahahah!" Derflinger laughed behind Undyne. He got it! "Now that's what I like ta hear! More innuendo than ya can possibly get a _grip_ on!"

Wait… did they? … Oh geez…

"Ghahahaha-huh?" Derflinger's laughter was cut off. "Hey, what'cha doin'?" He asked, enough of a reason to turn and see the pinkette lifting him over her head. He really was too big for her, just about matching the human in height.

"I am _disposing_ of the _corrupted steel!_ " Undyne blinked at the way the punk yelled. So much for being respectful. But the heck did she mean by that?

"Uh, punk," Undyne started, keeping a good grip on Muffet. "I get you're upset, but it's not like you're gonna-"

"That's a _marvelous_ idea!" Muffet, of all monsters, spoke up. Undyne looked at her, seeing the short spider grinning with eyes focused on the blade. "To be sure to not be _too_ gentle with it.~" What was she thinking about?

"Hehe, now that one's jus' too easy. Be a _steal_ ta say it." And Undyne knew exactly what he meant. She was only able to disguise her grin at best.

" _That does it!"_ The pinkette yelled again, this time with stomping feet across the shingles of the roof. Good thing she didn't, cause no way was the human gonna be able to keep herself balanced on the roof like that.

Wait, no, where was she even going? Not like she was gonna be able to get of the roof without-

_TOSS_

"GHAAAaaaaa!" Derflinger let out as he disappeared over the edge of the inn. Into… oh wait! "There are so many spiders! How are there this many spiders!"

_"He's loud!"_

_"He's crude!"_

_"He's obnoxious!"_

_"He's hard!"_

"An excellent toss, little dearie,~" Muffet spoke up. No short question to who. "My dearies will be sure to _punish_ the crude tool."

"See that they do," the pinkette returned. Undyne could _hear_ the brat puff out her chest. "Such mockery of words and actions are not to be tolerated in _any_ circumstance."

"Ahuhuhuhu~"

Seriously, those two had _way_ too much in common.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

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	19. I Think You'll Find This One... Quite Odd

Louise was in a place she never thought she'd be. The statement was made in reference to far more than one simple scenario

She _never_ thought she'd be in a commoner's inn, drinking a bitter beverage served without ceremony or meaning.

She _never_ thought she'd be awake at such an early hour, ahead of her monster of a familiar, literally and metaphorically.

She _never_ thought she'd be in a self-imposed leave of absence from Tristian Magical Academy, let alone for a reason beyond her own previous short-comings.

And, perhaps most importantly, Louise _absolutely never_ thought she'd be arranging for meetings with royalty before even the roosters woke up!

Her lisp wrapped around the poorly shaped mug in her hand, gulping down the bitter liquid again. It was nothing she savored, but she could tell it kept her eyes open and brain active. A commoner's elixir as it were.

"I am impressed you're still awake, Ms. Valliere," the maid spoke… or perhaps former maid was more appropriate. Undyne had referred to her as Siesta multiple times. "I am more used to nobles sleeping well into the morning."

Louise blew a strand of hair from her eyes. Too many assumptions were made from such a simple observation.

"That would imply sleep was had at all," she grumbled into her cup, somewhat thankful she could not see her reflection in the dark liquid. She would have looked the part of a beggar, she was sure. "I could not catch even a wink of rest last night."

"Oh dear, were the rooms of inferior quality?" The commoner spoke, the concern at least appearing genuine. Louise wasn't convinced, not with the likely hood of Plebeians such as this woman taking some small revenge on nobles, such as herself. "Uncle did swear he prepared the finest rooms the inn had?"

"The rooms were suitable," Louise responded honestly. In truth, they were, the little she had spent in them. They were not the issue. "The fault lies not with you or your kin, but with my familiar… and her _giant spider friend_."

_Crick_

A small splinter of a crack webbed into the cup Louise was holding. She clicked her tongue, realizing that the liquid inside would start to spill, if it reached any lower.

"Ah, well… they are, um… the spider that is…" the former-maid fumbled with her words, not that Louise could find a credible reason to fault her. She had hardly been able to form words at all. "She at least… spoke to the other spiders."

"Ah yes, speaking to the foul poisonous creatures, what a level thing to witness," Louise listed off as her father would after speaking of the rebellious commoners. The bitter drink was sweeter than that moment. "I have had nightmares that have been more soothing."

"Haha, I will agree it was… not a comforting sight." Louise knew she was mincing words, in an almost offensible way.

When Undyne had dragged the damnable monster Muffet into the inn, the shrieking tore what little hearing Louise had left in her ears. Even the oddly gendered head of the inn was not immune from bellowing in fright as well.

None of which was aided, and likely encouraged, by the purple spider monster. Her grin was as wicked as Undyne's and having an amount of mirth in it that serial villains would be put to shame by.

And all of that was _before_ the monster had called her 'dearies' from the floorboards and walls of the inn.

To say it was nightmarish would to tell a child a soothing lullaby.

Louise's drink shook in her hand.

"I am more impressed that you and your fellow workers were able to rest at all last night," Louise spoke honestly. "I had to busy myself with other duties. The darkness was… too… encouraging to my imagination." It was far too easy to see shapes that were not there.

"To confess, Ms. Valliere, I slept with my sister last night, and majority of the girls share rooms as well." Though Louise was aware her fellow nobles would find the idea of sharing a bed nothing short of scandalous, she had no such illusions.

Far more than once she would crawl into bed with her sisters when she was younger, when they were more comforting to her shortcomings and welcoming with their arms.

So instead of disgust, Louise felt jealousy, once more, for a commoner.

"There isn't enough free space in the inn to both house our workers and take care of the patrons, so, Uncle asked if the girls would not mind sharing rooms when possible." All at once the former maid appeared to avert her eyes, scratching her head with a light blush.

"Did… something happen last night?" Louise asked. She had seen the Germanian Cow pretend to have such a reaction, only to turn it around upon her for being inexperienced with bedmates, as if it were an accomplishment to brag of.

"Hmm? Oh! Oh, no not last night," Siesta waved her hands in an almost desperate manner. "No more than what… Muffet offered to share."

Louise shook her drink as the crawling living nightmare swept over her mind again. The very mention of the incident was not something she dared to believe her mind could endure.

"No, ah, it involved the few busboys my uncle would employ, before I left to host the Magical Academy." The busboys? Was her uncle scandalous enough to insist that they share beds? "It would have been rude to ask any of the girls to sleep with another boy like that."

Louise felt a relieved sigh leave her, not even realizing she was holding it. That only left the question of what would be so disturbing then. A boy having his own bed? Unfair, but hardly rude.

"Uncle would offer… insist to share the bed with them."

Ah, yes, that would do it.

Louise immediately found her bitter drink to be sour to the taste, her lips puckering as images flooded her mind. Far less disturbing than last night, but hardly righteous enough to cleanse the pallet of her mind.

It appeared she was correct in her early conjectures of the commoner's lane. There were no good memories to be had here. She had to put her mind on something else.

And the immediate object of her attention was the plate and drink in front of her, or what was left of either.

"How should I pay you for the meal?" Louise asked. "I have no coin on me now, but once I see the princess I can return to-"

"Oh! You don't owe us anything!" Siesta rapidly spoke, picking up the plate and food ware as she did so. Louise leaned back at her quick actions. "You saved me from the Count! A-And you have… rid our inn of the spiders!"

"I would hardly call the last one a just payment for any action," Louise listed as the terrifying memory skittered across her mind, forcing her to shake in her chair. "But I insist that I pay for your hospitality. It is the least given the festivities you offered to Undyne and I the former-"

"Oh, _perish_ those thoughts, sweetie!" Louise nearly dropped her cup at the sudden intrusion. Just as quickly as the voice came did the body it belongs to prance into the room. There was no better word than prance. "You have done _far_ too much to even give a _lick_ of a worry about coins around _me!_ "

Louise blinked at Scarron, the elderly man batting eye-lids at her with puffed out lips. It was not an appearance, even now, she was used to seeing on a man. Perhaps her depravity of sleep was helping her cope with the image. Maybe.

"Are you sure?" Louise asked again. To shirk duties given to her was something dishonorable to her family name. Refusing to pay for services rendered was a spite on the fair merchants of Tristian. "Even if not now, I may be able to speak to my family about-"

"My word is final in this inn, _young miss!_ " The man spoke again, raising his nose and pointing at the ground with unbelievable dainty finger. "And I say the sweetie that brought home my niece and dealt with a spider problem is _far more_ than due a free night's stay."

"A-Alright," Louise conceded. It was not a point she felt she should argue, let alone had the energy to. There was simply too much to do. "But… I will be departing today… sometime, with Undyne and Muffet. I would not wish to intrude further."

"Oh… if you _must_ ," Scarron looked as if he were about to start to cry. It was too early for any of this. Only gratitude for him kept her from groaning. "But I will be sure to keep a room free and space for you~! I'll tidy it up _myself._ " Louise grinned as best she could at the man.

"Thank you... once more," Louise managed to move out, drinking from her cracked cup to avoid another word of the conversation.

She had done what little she needed to, awake so early and so much else dependent upon her familiar. It left her only with a thing she loathed to have, if only because she was used to it being so violent.

Her own thoughts. Specifically, thoughts on Muffet.

There were simply _far_ too many curiosities about the _giant purple spider_ monster for her tastes. And her tastes were well defined. What little she told of was grand for Undyne, but Louise could recognize a dodge of curiosity when she saw it.

Her own relatives, distant and across country lines, would often divert her inquiries about magic and lessons whenever they came up. Muffet had done much the same, and in a very similar manner.

Still now, Louise only had a pet-name for her master, too personalized to mean anything. It matters just as much to wonder why she was here now, of all places, _without_ her master. Undyne may have been far from shackled to Louise, but she couldn't even entertain the thought of her running off to a foreign city so simply.

And yet, it was all that Muffet hinted towards what had happened with her, complete with her _'dearies'_ in tow. Perhaps they had something to do with it, at least answering how the monster found them. But then that lead to another question that was so readily avoided.

Undyne mourned for her king for days and nights. It sounded as if Muffet had not even shed a tear.

Even if Undyne was more emotional, and of that Louise could easily see, she could only see Muffet's reaction as one of a disloyal servant, or at the very least an apathetic friend.

Louise grit her teeth as her mind _dared_ to think of Princess Henrietta being harmed or… Founder-forbid, killed in any manner. To hear of it and _not_ act upon it was something she was confident was beyond her abilities, present or future.

Muffet was an unknown whose answers were spread too far and thin for Louise's liking.

"Mornin' sunshines!" Louise blinked at her familiar's verbose entry.

She twisted her neck to see the familiar blue scales of the monster marching down the stairs, boots sounding like her now traded armor as they beat against the wood. Her smile, even outside of the sun's rays, still gleamed like freshly edged daggers.

It was a familiar sight, all of that. What made it odd was the _purple spider_ held over her shoulder like a towel.

A spider monster whose five eyes and fanged mouth looked more annoyed and pained than many others Louise had seen in her life. It conveyed more emotion of pain than her elder sister of a direct insult was hurled her way. It was enough to make Louise grin.

Well, if nothing else, Louise had little to fear of Muffet while Undyne was near.

"Man, I can't tell ya how amazin' that room was!" Undyne sat down next to Louise, dropping Muffet, for lack of a better term, in the chair next to her. "I thought water beds were top notch, but that feather bed beat it hands down."

" _Oh~!_ I am simply _thrilled_ to hear it!" Scarron seemed to skip with his words, moving about the counter with an undeniable gleam to his eyes, sparkling as they were. Louise could identify the moment his eyes switched over to Muffet.

It was easy was impossible to miss the way he stopped on a dime.

Unfortunately, it was easy for the _five-eyed monster_ as well.

"Oh? Is something troubling you, human~?" Muffet spoke in the same sing-song voice, a pair of arms reaching out for the inn-keeper. The rest were positioned oddly across the counter-top. "Still not used to- PHWAAH!" Louise blinked as Muffet was pulled away from Scarron.

"C'mon Muffet, we talked 'bout this," Undyne spoke, grinning like the mad monster she was. "These guys are cool, puttin' us up for the night. Sides, they got Siesta here too, and I _know_ I told ya how cool a friend she is."

Louise looked for the former maid's eyes, finding them at the far end of the bar. The distance from the spider monster was completely unsurprising.

What was surprising, or perhaps confusing, was the hot blush across her cheeks. Perhaps it was just a form of embarrassment. Yes, that was likely it. Undyne was speaking plainly in front of her family, after all.

"And _I_ spoke to you of not handling me as if I were some scrap of metal!" Muffet spoke back to Undyne, two of her chitinous black arms pointing at the fish monster. She was still grinning, of course. "It is unnerving enough you would not release me last night." Louise felt her mind rushing with improper thoughts again.

"Hey, I can't help it!" Undyne spoke unabashedly. A trait Louise prayed to the Founder she would one day become accustomed to. "You're the first monster I've seen in what feels like forever! I wasn't about ta let you scurry off." Of course, a simple misunderstanding on her part.

"I already gave my word that I would not run off again." Muffet spoke back. "In case you have forgotten… it has been some time since I have seen a monster as well." Ah, that was true. Louise had forgotten that.

"Yup, and now we're both square!" Louise blinked at her familiar. What in the Founder's name did that expression mean? Was it another monster term? "But _now_! I wanna know what's here for grub!"

Undyne spun around, her long ponytail whipping like her magic. Her golden eye bore down at Louise, daggers of teeth grinning and gleaming in the small sun-light provided to the inn interior.

"So, what's on the menu, Pinkette? Anythin' ya recommend?" Louise was about to answer, cup in hand and answer in her hand, but stopped when a sudden force overtook her.

That force being Undyne's overly muscular arm around her shoulders.

"AGK!" Louise let out as her equilibrium was rocked. The cup in her hand clattered to the tabletop, the noble thanking the Founder she had already drained the liquid. Her patience was just as empty. "R-Release me Undyne!"

"Hey, relax, I'm just sayin' good morning." The monster did release her, but Louise could tell from the wide grin and gleam to her eye that this was not her usual morning. Her usual mornings never involved so much contact.

They involved destruction.

"So, what were ya drinkin'? Somethin' worth having?" The monsters webbed fingers picked up her discarded cup. The noble reached for the cup, plucking it from the monster's grip.

"I was having coffee!" She responded, huffing at her familiar. "It is a commoner drink used often to stimulate one for early mornings. I was kindly served it free-"

"Sounds good enough for me!" Undyne yelled out, slamming her hand on the counter. Louise expressed only exasperation for the indentation the monster left. "Hey Siesta! Can I get a cup of that! Wait, two cups!"

"Of course!" the former maid responded, retreating into the kitchen. Her step mimicked her uncle's to an unusual degree, but at the very least the posture was not so disturbing.

"Awesome! Hey, what are you getting' Muffet?" Louise looked past Undyne towards the _giant spider_ she had honestly hoped to forget. At the very least, she could take pleasure in the uneasy looks the monster had.

"Me?" The monster asked with a point of her chitinous hand. "Oh no, I don't indulge in human food. _Nothing_ about it agrees with me." Every hand on the spider took an action to show her displeasure. It was displeasing itself to watch.

True, the food of the commoners was hardly comparable to the noble treats, especially their drinks, but at the very least it was edible and effective. For where Louise was now, that was good enough.

Apparently, it wasn't for Undyne.

"Aw c'mon!" The monster spoke as she put her arm around the spider. Louise could only smile at the spider's immediate and obvious discomfort. "We're not leavin' here till you get at least somethin' ta drink."

"No!" Muffet pointedly refused. "I-I will have my dearies prepare a special drink for me! And then we can… do as we discussed." Louise as caught on the odd phrasing of the last sentence, but ultimately threw it away. A spider's words were as poisonous as her fangs.

But that just made her easier to tease.

"It only makes sense, Undyne," she spoke to her familiar, keeping her eyes on the spider. Both kept a gaze on her. Louise made sure to where her smirk as well as the monsters. "How can a spider as _dainty_ as her handle the food of humans. She'd hardly stand a sip of the commoner's drink."

Louise made a point to roll the cup as she spoke, showing off her own success at such a mundane task. It was the same way the students at the Academy would taunt her with their wands and books.

It was an odd feeling, she'd admit, the joy of unjustified superiority. It was, however, undeniably addicting.

"Ahuhuhu~" Muffet immediately answered back with a grin and cheer, five eyes focused on Louise. "And _where_ do you believe I am _sooo_ unable to do so, dearie~" the spider with her sing-song voice and venomous grin.

It was the same as last night, enough for Louise to notice the other workers of the inn to stop and stare at the spider, for the inn-keeper to look petrified through his heavy make-up. But Louise had gotten used to this monster last night.

She wasn't scared, she was disgusted.

"Simple observation," Louise countered. "I am a proud member of the Valliere family, daughter to the Heavy Wind and... partnered to one of your Underground's _strongest_ monsters." She could see the grin grow on Undyne as well as the blinks of confusion from the commoners. "But even I can humbly accept the gracious nature of commoners, enjoying what they have to offer."

"Might have ruined the whole humble thing there." Louise pointedly ignored Undyne's barb.

"But you, _dearie_ , needed Undyne to drag you into this fine inn, let alone accept the accommodations." Louise just as pointedly ignored the terror the rest of the commoners gave off when she came inn.

She kept her eyes on the wicked grin and narrowed eyes of the _giant purple spider_. A small part of her told her it was a poor decision to mock a monster that controlled every spider around her, the same _spider_ that spoke like a child hood rhyme.

But a larger part of Louise didn't care. And that part won.

"So, you _do_ enjoy _toying_ with dangerous thing, _dearie~?"_ Muffet asked, one of her thin chitinous hands rubbing at the end of her purple face. The others skittered about the chair and counter. "Perhaps I mistook your _distress_ last night for _ignorance, Ahuhuhuhu~"_

"Only so much as I mistook your _weakness_ for _submission_ ," Louise could only grin at the spider, leaning over the counter to watch the spider's eyes narrow, dark spheres with direct gazes.

_WHUMP!_

That were shoved right into her face before Louise could blink.

"What!" "Hey!"

She and Muffet let out, Louise scrambling with her hands to push away from the monster. And, by the _unnerving_ feeling of a few black hands over her frame, so was Muffet.

Nose to nose with the monster, Louise could only sneer as she pulled her neck back the little it could manage. Muffet was doing much the same, fangs hanging from her upturned lips, eyes squinting with a level of disgust Louise knew she shared.

At least they could place the blame for this situation on a common target.

"Okay, you two," Undyne spoke from above them. Louise _wanted_ to glare up at the monster's only good eye, but she was being forced between said monster's scaly arm, the opposing monsters purple face, and a chest that _did not deserve to be on a fish!_ "I love you to are getting' along, but dial it back, 'kay?"

"Getting along?!" Louise nearly shrieked, feet scrapping uselessly at the ground. She could hear Muffet's _multiple_ limbs attempting the same action. "What _delusions_ are you suffering from?!"

"You've always been blind with one eye!" Muffet yelled back to Undyne. Louise took no comfort in the knowledge that Undyne was _always_ like this. She had hoped it was… shock. "This _human_ and I are as far away from friendly as you are sanity!"

"Eh, you're both just too tired ta see it. Trust me, I got an eye for these things." Louise only trusted Undyne on one of those facts, and it was _not_ related to her ability to see! "Why don't we just talk it out, like last night, 'cept without the spiders. That'd just get Siesta ta feint."

Louise huffed at the lack of her name in the conversation. Commoners were _used_ to see the disgusting creatures. It came with their insufficiently cleaned homes. _She_ was the one who had to endure _thousands_ of them.

"What would make me feint?" Louise looked to see the dark-haired woman entering in from the kitchen, a platter in hand. She did not wait for an answer to her question. "I have your coffee for you, three cups. I refilled yours in case you were still tired," Siesta looked at Louise as she spoke, an inviting smile on her lips.

Louise puckered her lips and lowered her head at the sight.

"Yes, um… thank you for the kindness," she returned, eyes avoiding the former maid. Her mind was clouded, and not with thoughts. Sleep deprivation still weighed heavily on her.

"Jessica also prepared a platter for you Undyne." Louise looked up to see the maid offering the fish monster a sizeable meal on the clay plate. Slices of meat, poached eggs, oddly sliced potatoes. All the usual workings of a commoner's meal. It put her own share of eggs to shame. "I remember that you have quite the appetite."

"And you know how to fill it!" Undyne practically cheered back. Louise _knew_ she saw the fish monster salivating, thick strands of saliva seeping past her dagger sized teeth.

She saw it up until it disappeared in the mess of the monster eating.

Louise did not fault Siesta nor the other girls as they stepped back at the display. She was used to it.

And by glance sideways, so was Muffet. It figured the monsters were used to one another.

But said monster appeared averse to something else. A few of her eyes looking down at the counter, towards the acceptably shaped cup containing the dark drink Louise had consumed.

She grinned, staring at the monster until she was sure at least two of the _giant spider's_ five eyes were upon her. When they were, she slowly drank her own bitter drink, savoring the taste and the effect it had on her fatigued body. Even if she hadn't, it wouldn't have mattered.

The pout on the spider's lips, hiding her poisonous fangs and words, was energizing enough.

Louise watched, unabashedly, as a pair of Muffet's chitinous arms grasped the cup tightly, her black fingers weaving together. She raised the cup to her lips as she pulled her head back, drinking the liquid with slow sips.

For a moment, Louise could understand Zerbt's attitude towards her now. It was an inappropriate mount of fun, teasing someone to act they were not prepared for.

And the wide eyes and panic from the spider was all Louise needed to feel better about her day.

"Phwaa!" The spider let out her unusual call again, pushing the drink away. "That's too hot to consume!" The noble could not and would not stop herself.

"Too used to cold blood?" She questioned, lifting her own glass to her lips and sipping at the bitter liquid. It was hot, but the roasted inside of a pig was much hotter. She had that as a common meal at her family's estate. "Can you not handle the simple drink of us humans?"

Muffet's pout became a sneer. Louise felt her body warm under the glare that came with it.

"Okay, chillout there you two," Undyne spoke again. "Or am I gonna have to put you two back under my arms?" Louise shook her head.

"Certainly not!" She dismissed. "I would prefer to stay right where I am. I was only hoping to see how the _experienced_ monster dealt with human meals." It was difficult to stop, Louise realized. Extremely difficult to stop things that felt _so_ good.

" _Ahuhuhu~_. You have an _odd_ way of addressing experience, _dearie_ ~," Muffet spoke with her sing-song voice again. "Experience _begets_ preferences, and I _do_ prefer my liquids… _colder, Ahuhuhu~._ " Louise pointedly ignored the cold chill she felt.

She settled instead to turn to her own drink, ignoring the prideful look of the _giant purple_ spider. Undyne was too enraptured, and enthralled, by the high-volume meal she was consuming. It was enough to stuff a cow with.

"Oh! I am _so_ glad we are all enjoying ourselves!" Scarron spoke as he pranced by again. He was holding a pair of platters in his hands. "Do be sure to ask if you need anything else!" And the usual wink from his well-kept eyes.

"Will do!" Undyne yelled out, a bit of egg falling from between the gaps in her teeth. It was excuse enough for Louise to turn away and focus on other things. She took the small amount of time to observe the inn, the commoner's place of business in the early morning.

It mimicked the appearance of last night, given the state of things in the streets. Bare of customers and with room for a small ball. The morning light made the chairs and tables much easier to see, no longer limited to candle fire. They were of the quality Louise expected of a commoner's estate. Passable.

The women of the estate were spread about them, drinking and eating the small meals that Louise had partaken in. Though they had their own groups together, much as she expected any place to, all eyes were on the obvious pair.

Louise could not fault them, or anyone for that matter. How else were you to ignore the fish and _giant spider_ monsters at the kitchen counter?

However, perhaps with Muffet now… taken care of, the activity in the street would return, and with it, the business for the… "Charming Fairy" inn. She was amazed to think it ever did well with such a name, but the preferences of the commoners were not something Louise could pretend to understand.

_Pik-Clat_

Louise looked over at the odd sound, seeing Muffet's cup tipped over on the counter.

It was empty, not a drop of liquid spilling onto the wood. It rolled a bit over the smooth surface, stopping when one of the spider's chitinous limbs held it steady. It made Louise's eyes widen.

It was the only steady thing about her.

The overly large head of the spider swayed much Louise imagined a boat would on open water. Her chitinous limbs did not cling and crawl about the stool and counter, they hung like wet strings. Her very form appeared to be melting in a sense, not a stable thing about her.

"Oh… _Ahuhuhuuuuu_ ~" And that apparently included her voice. Her voice sounding slurred through fanged teeth, a lopsided and uneven grin, and eyes that… lacked the unison they did before.

Wait… was Muffet… the spider… intoxicated?

She stared down at her drink, confirming its dark roast and bitter taste. Bitter, yes, but not nearly similar to the bite and burn of alcohol. It was especially far from the sweetness of wine.

And yet, even with her eyes focused on the spider, all she could see was the purple monstrosity blinking her eyes out of unison _and_ sync, a thin forked tongue hanging lazily between her fangs, and the head they were all connected to swaying left and right.

She certainly appeared intoxicated.

"Ooo _ooo_ ohhh~, such a _sweet_ treat this is, Ahuhuhuuuu _uuuhh_ h,~" Muffet let out in a long breath. And Louise could imagine her words to be nothing short of an admission of her drunken nature.

Was… was it because she was a monster? Louise felt her eyes widen as she stared at Undyne, hands already on the table to push off and grab her familiar.

A drunken Undyne… something about the idea made her skin chill in thought.

Fortunately, it appeared to be a fear for naught.

"You… doin' okay there, Muffet?" Louise heard more than saw her companion question the spider. She kept her eyes on the monster herself, too captivated by the sight. Apparently, so were the rest of the commoners.

"Is she… well?" Louise heard the former maid ask her from across the counter, both of their eyes glued to the _giant arachnid_. "I confess that I'm not familiar with Ms. Muffet very well but… this doesn't seem right."

"I do not believe it is either," Louise answered honestly. She looked at her cup, the cup that had shared the drink with the monster. "Was there… anything added to the coffee? A spice, perhaps?" It made sense to her, the bitter taste better than colored liquid.

"No, none," Siesta denied, her bob-cut black hair waving with the way her head shook. "The beans were roasted and prepared by Jessica, a-and we made sure to use the best stock." For Undyne, naturally. It went unsaid.

What remained to be said was the state of the monster in the room. Second monster in the room.

"Hold on a sec," Undyne spoke up again, grabbing at Muffet's shoulder. The spider cooed, falling into the fish's webbed hand with a surprising lack of grace. Surprising, and yet, somehow, unnerving.

The inn was quiet as the alley was last night. Up until Undyne spoke again.

"Muffet! It is like eight o'clock in the AM?! Why are you drunk? No, wait, _screw that noise!_ _How are you drunk?!_ " Undyne asked the spider again, holding the abomination by her highest shoulders.

Louise did not dare interrupt. They were questions she shared. Questions the spider appeared uninterested to answer.

So uninterested, in fact, that she simply slipped through Undyne's grip and to the wooden floor.

Louise was on the edge of her seat in the same moment Undyne stood from hers. That spoke nothing of the other workers and Scarron, who were prepared to run for the hills. The hills were likely safer.

Muffet, however, simply… maneuvered across the floor. It was not a walk, a prance, a run, or any other common word for movement across the floor. To witness anyone else move as the spider did would be to bear witness to the possession of a demon.

Arms reached out and grabbed at chairs and tables, creating a net of sorts about the purple monstrosity. Her smooth and, admittedly, elegant form was stripped away for one that appeared almost gooey. Louise hadn't an idea of what to say.

"The drink's… got a lotta… caffeine in it, don't it? Ahuhuuuuhhhhhu~" The spider 'danced' in her thin black boots, six arms grabbing at any available hold. She looked the part of an oddly shaped umbrella, too sickly for Louise to imagine touching.

"Yes, it does," Siesta spoke from behind the counter, where it was safe. "It helps with the early morning… after long nights." Louise was told the very same thing, so she requested the drink.

"Ahuhuhuuuuu _uuuuu_ ~" The spider laughed, head rolling as she heard the admission. Was caffeine seriously bad for monsters? She found it hard to believe with Undyne being alright. "Caffeine makes spiders feel… _looooopyyy~~_."

Muffet twirled her chitinous hands into pairs, creating 'loops' with her many limbs. Nightmares were made of lesser things than this. But there was a part to this that Louise did not dare forget.

"Caffeine. As in, coffee makes you… belligerent?" The sing-song and fare-off laughter of the spider was her response. She could not take it as confirmation or denial. The _giant spider_ was simply… too random.

"If it does, it's gotta be a spider thing," Undyne answered her, already stepping closer to the spider as she spoke. She was the only one doing so. "Cause that stuff tasted awesome, but it wasn't like the stuff from last night." Small blessings, Louise supposed.

"Oh! How _interesting_!" Scarron added in, from a safe distance away. "I'll be sure to have some fashioned up for the _dearie_ whenever she visits then!" Louise ignored every implication the inn manager implied.

If it made the spider as… unthreatening as she appeared, she supposed it could be forgiven.

Speaking of though, there was another matter she still needed to talk to Undyne about.

"Undyne, we have to see the princess today," Louise attempted to get the attention of her partner. It was rather obvious why it was difficult to do, seeing a monster like Muffet swaying like a puppet with cut strings. "I scheduled an appointment this morning."

"So that's where you went to," Siesta spoke now, earning at least a glance from Louise. She saw the taller woman, holding a glass of water, likely for the 'intoxicated' spider. "I had no idea you traveled to the castle so early." Louise shrugged.

"To find time this evening, it was the appropriate action," she replied simply. Her attention returned to Undyne. "That means we have until slightly past this _afternoon_ to prepare to meet her!" Louise wasn't concerned about preparing for the princess before.

Before, as in before the _giant secondary spider monster_ began _acting drunk_. There was simply _no_ way they could approach the castle now! The horror she could bring!

Stumbling up to the castle with Muffet commanding _thousands of spiders to climb the castle walls and storm the court!_ The very idea made Louise's hair stand on end.

"We _have_ to get her under control, Undyne!" She grabbed at the thin material of her partner's top. "Failure to do so could be catastrophic!"

"That's important," Undyne pointed with her finger, her good eye still on Muffet, legs bent as if she were ready to grab at the monster. "And I'm _pretty_ sure she'll be okay. Like Derf sleepin' off his spider incident from last night."

Oh yes, Louise had completely forgotten about the rude blade of metal. He was a secondary concern.

"Sooooo," Undyne rolled the word as she carefully reached for Muffet. Louise felt a sigh of relief leave her as the spider fell into her arms. She heard the rest of the commoners let theirs out. "I'm gonna take Muffet upstairs to sleep this off till then, kay?" It wasn't as if there was any other action to take.

"A _wonderful_ idea!" Scarron spoke resoundingly. No curiosity why he was thrilled to have the monster gone. "Do take care of her Ms. Undyne! I will send Jessica up if she needs _anything!_ "

" _I am not going near the giant spider_!" Said woman's voice carried through the walls of the kitchen. Louise could offer her utmost sympathy to the commoner.

"It's cool, it's all good," Undyne waved them off, her grin still bright despite the circumstances. "You all got stuff to do and it ain't in me to get in your way anymore than we have." On that, Louise saw eye-to-eye with her partner.

"Then I'll take time to… prepare as well," Louise spoke. "It would be improper to see the princess without looking appropriate." She'd have to pray to the Founder Undyne would be acceptable, not even mentioning the _state_ Muffet was in.

" _Oh!_ You must let me help!" Scarron skipped to Louise, grabbing her hands and staring at her past her pink bangs. "I am sure I can prepare the most _exquisite_ look for you! I've been doing Jessica and Siesta's makeup since they were little girls." He winked with the last declaration.

"Uncle is quite good," the former maid spoke. "A-And I'm sure the princess will appreciate." Louise had no reason to disagree.

Actually, she had one.

"I thank you for the offer," she spoke kindly to the taller gentleman. "But I have to prepare mentally before physically. There is much I have to tell the princess, and I would loathe myself to forget something important."

Actually, she wanted to sleep. Because she hadn't before.

She and the spider were going to sleep, trying to catch up on sleepless nights. She loathed the parallel greatly.

"Kay, that sounds good," Undyne spoke up. "Just don't forget your magic lessons with Derf. Hate to see ya fall behind on that." Louise felt her heart skip a beat.

Even as Undyne walked up the stairs with the spider dropped over her shoulder, chitinous arms in a disarrayed mess, Louise had her thoughts elsewhere.

Her magic lessons.

With Derflinger the sword.

Her magic lessons taught by the talking swords.

Magic lessons that she had failed at every day of her life until recently.

And she had forgotten about them.

"Sweetie, are you alright?" Scarron asked her. She hardly felt him, not through the chill sweeping her body. "You look as if you've seen a ghost. There wasn't a ghost, was there?"

"No…" Louise spoke. "Just something _extremely_ important I forgot!" Her feet beat on the wood as she rushed to her appointed room.

She had lessons to do. Lessons from a sword she had tossed into a literal hive of spiders.

Louise prayed to the Founder's Grace Derflinger could forgive her long enough to teach her.

* * *

Undyne hoped on Asgore's memory Muffet would forgive her long enough to listen to her.

She knew that was a heavy order to ask, the spider to forget anything. She remembered everything from the number of spiders in the Underground to the seconds since she'd been kicked out of the core. Asking her to forget about getting wasted on the human coffee was a pretty low chance of happening.

That was probably why Undyne was carrying her piggy-back style, letting Muffet's large head rest on her shoulder.

It wasn't _really_ uncomfortable, at least not for Undyne. She'd carry like every kid in Snowdin on her back from time to time, and she could do that while in her armor. That didn't even include the times she helped Asgore with the "Santa" thing, dressing up like and elf and carrying his toys. Alphys did like the costume.

But Undyne had to admit, she knew the big difference between then and now. She was carrying monsters around monsters. Now she was carrying a monster around humans.

And _all_ the humans had that typical human expression now.

"This is humiliating," the pinkette spoke from beside her, keeping pace easier than usual. "A court meeting the princess and we are _dragging_ an inebriated monster along the way." Wasn't hard for Undyne to figure out why the pinkette had her head down like the ground was new to her.

"Hey, relax," Undyne spoke back to her. "This ain't the first time I've met your princess, and she was cool the first time, wasn't she?" So, what if there was someone a little weird here? If she was a good princess, she'd just ask if she could help.

"That meeting was _at night_ and _unsanctioned_!" The pinkette fired back. She sounded like she had some backbone when she did that at least. "Now we are meeting her _in the palace_ and likely _with her compatriots_." Compatriots?

"What are those, like her guard or something?" If that meant the kick-butt gun chick, then Undyne was cool with it. _That_ human knew how to fight! "Wouldn't that just make it easier to explain stuff? Like, having to repeat yourself less?"

"My concern is being able to approach Princess Henrietta _at all!_ " Even though they were walking, the pinkette still stomped her foot. It was kind of adorable, even if all it did was just make a louder clack on the stone. "At least if Muffet were sober we could explain the situation and perhaps gain audience quicker. Now I fear we won't gain _entrance_."

"What's wrong? Yer actin' like the rain is comin' ta wash the spider out." Undyne coughed on the chuckle that rose in her throat. Derf was on point. "Or were ya hopin' she'd give ya a _leg_ up talkin' to yer princess?" Cause she had eight to spare! Undyne grinned at that one!

"I'm angry because everyone is making a _joke_ about this!" The pinkette raised her voice as she glared at Derf. Too bad he didn't have a face to give a look back.

Undyne was sure it'd be priceless.

"A _sudden_ depart from the magical academy, _a battle_ against a respected noble, _two_ monsters from an unheard-of kingdom, one of them _drunk off of a commoner's morning beverage_ , and a scheduled summons to meet Princess Henrietta regarding all of them!"

Undyne wasn't sure what was better. Seeing the pinkette freak out over the little stuff, or seeing the humans back away at her freaking out over it. Had to be the former, cause that wasn't getting old.

"Aw, your thinkin' too much about this," Undyne gave a small shove at the pinkette's side. The human hobbled like she'd been hit. Forgot that these humans were weak. "The princess is your friend, right? I'm sure she'll understand everything! Sides, what kind of friend would be unhappy 'bout seeing you again?"

The pinkette looked up at her just long enough for Undyne to see the hot blush across her face. It was enough to make her grin in response. Hook, line, and stinker!

Two for two, actually, cause even more of the humans started giving them that typical expression. Guess they still weren't used to her mug yet. Whatever.

"PhwAAaaAA~," her fellow monster let out on her back, limbs climbing up her frame possessively. Undyne twisted her head till her good eyes was looking at Muffet's, at least the ones that managed to open.

"Mornin' sleepy head," Undyne welcomed her _fellow monster_. Just thinking it again made her grin. "How's your second nap of the day?" At least Papyrus called sleeping napping. He'd appreciate that.

"Mhh… hmm~?" She felt the spider's voice rumble against her back. Probably because she didn't have anything to soften the sound. "My second~?"

"Yes, your second time falling asleep," the pinkette picked up now. Undyne got a good look at the grin on the punk's face. It was almost enough to make her grin. "Shortly after _entertaining_ us at the inn." Well she wasn't wrong. It was pretty damn entertaining!

"I did? PhwaaAA~!" Muffet let out again, stretching across Undyne's back. Tough to tell if she was a spider or a cat acting like this! "Where are weeeee~," her voice drooled out, black hands digging at Undyne. Felt like a massage to her scales.

Could use some finger strength though. Maybe some rock-climbing would help, instead of having those spiders do everything for her. But she did ask a question, and that meant an answer.

Undyne looked up the road, maybe half way filled with humans all giving her looks ranging from average to overdone typical human expressions. They could've mixed it up with a look of praise or something. At least _that_ would give an excuse for all the slack jaws and eyelids!

Still, considering that the buildings were getting taller and the castle getting closer, it made the answer easy to give.

"I'd say… three, four minutes 'way." Her head lolled back and forth, her red hair knotting on Muffet's overdone dress. That was going to hurt untangling. "No idea how much longer from there till we meet the Princess again."

"The princess!?" And with as much warning as the scream, Muffet jumped off of Undyne's back. At least as far as she could before Undyne's hair pulled her back.

And she was right. It _hurt!_

" _OW!_ " Undyne yelled, hands slamming on her head. Didn't stop her neck from jerking towards Muffet's falling form. Definitely didn't stop her from falling right over and onto her butt.

About the _only_ thing it did stop was the crowd of humans around them.

"Muffet, what the _heck!?_ " Undyne yelled out as she twisted on the ground, her hair still being pulled by the tangled spider. Would've been hilarious if she wasn't the one being hurt! "Are you tryin' to annoy me or somethin'?"

"That is…. _hugh_ …" The spider moaned mid-speech, bending over her curled limbs. Undyne clicked her tongue. That just gave her time to untangle her hair. "I feel ill…"

"Wall fallin' off my back probably didn't help ya!" Undyne yelled back, even as her webbed fingers began to grab her long strands of hair, untwisting and pulling them off the purple spider. With how thin her limbs were it was like trying to tangle two pieces of rope from one another!

"Just… be silent…" Undyne let out a groan as Muffet raised a few of her hands to her head, probably to block her ear-holes. "Everything is _so loud,~_ " Loud? She was barely even talking!

That's when Undyne looked around at all the humans. Yeah, she was a heck of a lot taller than them, but on her knees and bent over the spider, that were finally looking down at her. And damn if every one of them wasn't talking up a storm.

The pinkette had a face redder than her hair, and hands trying to cover it. Why was she acting embarrassed? She wasn't the one untangling _her_ stupidly long hair from someone else!

Undyne had to remind herself. This would've been hilarious, if she wasn't the one trying to work around it!

"Yeah, whatever, just bear with it," Undyne grumbled out, her long fingers slowly pulling out more of her hair off of Muffet's chitinous arms. At least it was easy to pull it off of her dress. "We'll get to the princess soon, then ya can mope around all ya want."

"The princess… yes, the _princess_." What about the princess? "Why are we heading there now. I've had… no time to prepare tea or treats for her…" Undyne clicked her tongue.

"The pinkette was workin' hard on getting us a meeting with her while you were sleepin' the day away," Undyne returned easily. "But if yer worried the princess is gonna throw a fit, save it. Last time I met her, she was pretty cool."

"You've met her already?" Undyne picked up a few of Muffet's eyes looking at her. Seriously? She didn't know that? It was outside, like, how could her spider friends not know that?

Eh, she was probably just hung over still.

"Yup, sure did," Undyne spoke. "Like a smaller, thinner, hairless version of Asgore." Undyne blew out a strand of air at the image she made up.

That was actually pretty fun to think about. A human Asgore.

"Ehhh… I'm not ready to meet her yeeeet," Undyne felt her only good eye close slowly as her teeth began to grind. Muffet, love her to death, was seriously starting to sound like a kid from Snowdin. "It's loud, and too bright… Can we not wait until tomorrow? I can… prepare treats then."

Undyne swore then she's shatter every cup, glass, and container of coffee in the entire kingdom if it meant keeping Muffet from acting like this.

"This is a nightmare, it must be." Undyne glanced at the pinkette again, seeing her staring at Muffet with wide eyes. She got, she knew. That human was bright as Hotland! "No way will be allowed to see the princess now." But with the spirit of the Ruins, what a combination.

"Okay, that's it." Undyne stood up, holding the last strands of her hair in her hand. She was untangled from Muffet, that was some good news. "We gotta focus, okay?"

Her good eye looked around, seeing the humans still staring at them. All having that _really_ typical human expression of wide eyes and slack jaws. Well, they were looking at her and Muffet, so maybe it made up for it.

Nope.

"That princess is waiting for us, we're like right at her front door, and a little bit of embarrassment ain't gonna kill us." That was a tested fact proven by Papyrus.

If you could everything that sack of bones did and not die from embarrassment, then it was as possible Sans taking something seriously.

"It's still so loud…" Muffet groaned behind her. C'mon, she was another monster! She could at least act excited. She did last night! "And there are so many humans here…"

"There are humans _everywhere_!" Undyne yelled, stretching her arms out. "We're on the _surface!_ It's kinda where they live!" Why was she getting annoyed again?

Oh yeah, because the humans kept gawking.

"You're making a scene Undyne!" The pinkette spoke up now. "At this rate will be barred from seeing the princess!" They'd do that?

"Why, cause a bunch of humans can't _mind their own business!_ " She turned her god eye at the crowd. And now the typical expressions were met with shaking. It was an evolution from that old show she and Alphys watched, but only the creatures could do that.

" _Because you are screaming in the middle of the market!_ " The pinkette shouted back, slamming her foot on the stone. Undyne felt her lips twist.

Was it too early for this? Getting to late? Was there even a freaking time for this kind of stuff!

" _I'm pretty sure you're the one who's screamin', punk!"_ Undyne shouted back.

Too bad she couldn't summon a few spears here. With how packed the street was with humans, there was no way she'd avoid them.

"You're both too loud…" And Muffet kept complaining! She could at least laugh about it, that was normal! "And the human… may be right, _hup!_ The princess… she would not risk exposure in a crowd…" The heck was she talking about?

"Are you kiddin' me? What's she got to fear?" She was the freaking princess! The more people around her the safer she was! Asgore kept himself alone cause he was afraid for all the _other_ monsters.

In fact… given what that princess did back at the school, she was probably making a scene of her own! Undyne felt her scowl upturn into a grin. Oh yeah, she had this.

"I'm bettin' you both gold to dust that she's on her way here right now!" Undyne pointed at the cobblestone below her feet. And man, even the humans were talking up a storm.

" _Undyne!_ " the pinkette shouted again. Just like old times, one week ago. "The princess would not possibly risk _exposure_ in an open market such as-"

"Louise!" Undyne felt her scales stretch at the size of her grin. The look of terror on the punk's face helped.

A quick glance left and there was a parting of a crowd, pushed aside by guards in suits of armor. Pretty pathetic armor, but still armor. And there wasn't a mystery why.

Cause there was the princess!

Least it was probably her. All the humans looked kinda alike. Her clothes were right though, super fancy and all that. At least she had the same hair, height, smile-

"Louise!" Yup it was her.

The short-stack human was running at them, picking up the front of her dress to up the pace. Heck, even the guards made way for her. Least that made sense. She had good form though, even if the clothes must have felt like training weights. Now there was a thought for upping the difficulty…

"Princess!" The pinkette yelled out, just in time for the princess to wrap her in a hug. Undyne felt her grin grow at it. Talk about instant karma!

Undyne knew this human better than the other human! She was a genius!

"And Sir Undyne!" The princess turned her head towards her. Her hands left the pinkette and grabbed Undyne's webbed hand. She made sure to grin down at the royalty. "I'm thrilled to see you are able again!"

Oh yeah, last time she saw the princess she was learning about Asgore…

"Yup, ah okay, now," Undyne made sure to give the princess a strong thumbs up and grin to match. Yeah, a _little_ faked, but heck if she wasn't feeling better. "Helps having friends that stick by ya."

And the princess's thankful smile did help in its own way. Huh, she was kind of like a mini-Asgore.

"And… o-oh…" Undyne's smirk fell with the princess's smile. Her eyes weren't on her, though. They were looking over her shoulder, right at... Oh yeah. "Is that… your liege's lance?" Yup that was it.

"Ah, yeah, it is," Undyne admitted, reaching behind herself and pulling back _Asgore's Lance_. Wasn't heavy, really, but it _felt_ like it. "No offense, but I wasn't gonna let it rust in some dirty vault. Hope ya don't mind."

"Why would argue against your request?" Well, if Undyne was being honest, cause the humans back at the school sure made a big deal about it. "He was your king, and he gave his life for subjects of my kingdom. To deny you the right to carry his artifacts would be a betrayal of my crown."

Undyne felt her scales flush. Damn, she really was a Mini-Asgore, all the way down to say the right thing right when she had to.

"Uh, thanks princess," Undyne responded, pushing _Asgore's Lance_ behind her back. Probably not a clever idea to carry it out in public. Still, it felt like she was forgetting something.

"And… you are…?" The princess's eyed turned away from her, looking at the ground behind Undyne.

It took her a solid second to realize what she was talking about. Took about as much time for Undyne to try out that human expression.

"Oh crap! Yeah!"

Undyne turned around, picking Muffet up by the shoulders. The spider groaned at the action, but that was fine. She was still lighter than a twig floating in Waterfall.

She held up Muffet to the Princess, letting them face eye-to-eye. Well, five-to-two, but who was counting? Answer, the princess, judging by the way her eyes were looking over Muffet. Least she wasn't screaming or shaking like the pinkette did!

"This here is Muffet!" Undyne didn't even try to hide her excitement. Why even try?! "She's a monster, just like me!"

Undyne watched the princess stare at her fellow monster, pretty damn nearly wearing the typical human expression she was coming to hate. Wasn't _exactly_ the same at least!

"Please release me… Undyne," Muffet asked, her chitinous arms _really_ weakly poking at her hands. Even a freaking wave from the Waterfall had more force! Still, wasn't about to disappoint an old friend in front of a new one.

Undyne slipped her hands out from the pair of Muffet's arms she was holding, letting the spider fall to her thin legs. And, like Sans after a short walk, she was shaking on them pretty heavily.

"Your… majesty," Muffet slowly let out. "I… _apologize_ for my state of being. Normally I am… much more… refined. My _dear friend_ apparently… gave me something…"

Muffet looked down at Muffet confused. Was she talking about the coffee still? She drank that all on her own! She didn't force a thing on her.

"It is quite alright, Ms. Muffet." Undyne held back a snort of laughter. Intentional or not, _that_ was funny. "I am not at my best either. Quite honestly, I fled my guard once I heard Louise had put in a request to see me." Wait, what? She fled?

"Princes, I-I only followed the protocols to request a court date with you," the pinkette answered. The heck? Why did she sound nervous? They were friends for crying out loud! "It would've… I would have insulted your standing if I-"

"I told you _never_ need to wait for such things with me, Louise," the princess spoke back. Heck yeah, she didn't! Since when did friends need a waiting list! "I was so appalled by my counselors telling me so late in the court that I rushed to find you." So that's what she meant. Kay, that was good.

"But that would be an insult to those who traveled to see you!" Undyne felt her good eye roll in her head like that magic 8-ball she and Alphys found. Half expected her pupils to come back saying ' _Deal with it_ '. "If not, even my mother can-"

"I was not raised with your mother, I was raised with you." Life-time friends! Those were the best kind! "And I cannot tell too many times that my door is always open when you wish to speak." Asgore would've shed a tear by now. Undyne knew it.

Speaking of monsters though, there was another one nearby Undyne could _not_ forget about. Especially when she was about as sure footed as Alphys after an anime marathon.

Didn't help that they stuck out around humans pretty darn horrifically. Wasn't their fault they looked so good!

"You doin' any better there?" Undyne asked, patting on Muffet's back. No way was Muffet shy or anything, but no way was she usually getting drunk off of caffeine either. If only she knew about that back in the Underground. It would've made play nights with Alphys ten times more fun. "Need me ta carry you again?"

"No! No… certainly not." The spider held up two of her hands to dismiss Undyne, the others pushing at her thin legs to rise. It could not have been easy walking around in that black dress either. Least Undyne had a tank top. "I can compose myself. I… know I can, _Ahuhuhuu~_ "

"Yeah, you got it down," Undyne smirked at the spider, only up to her chest even at her tallest. It rocked to be tall, even if she was shrimp next to Papyrus. Dumb sack of bones. "

She certainly acted like she could. But man, it was getting harder to hear her talking. Wasn't cause she was talking softly either. In fact, it was cause others wouldn't stop talking loudly!

Those humans in the crowd just could _not_ keep quiet! Undyne let her good eye scan over them as they kept mumbling around them. And were they multiplying? Yeah, humans grew faster than monsters, but there was like a hundred times as many people around them now!

Okay, more like two or three times, but it felt like a hundred! Really didn't help that they were all talking like Undyne hadn't seen them. She'd have to be blind in _both_ eyes to not see them!

"Louise, you have no reason to apologize now," Undyne heard the princess talk on. Looks like they were still doing the pity-party dance. Undyne hated that dance.

"But I must, your majesty," Undyne felt her head roll at the title. Asgore would've pouted at her if she had called him that! Heck, even Muffet was giggling at her! "It is improper for me to assume your availability around my schedule."

"No Louise, it is _not_." And _there_ was some backbone! The humans that had it were pretty far and few between, but no doubt this princess was one of them. "As your friend, as your _old_ friend, I-"

"Princess, please contain yourself." Undyne looked behind the Princess to see someone else approaching. "This is beginning to become… improper."

Well, that was a probably the worst word for it.

The someone else was a human, obviously on the surface, with an outfit that looked one part cool and two parts ridiculous. Kinda. With all the gold and symbols over it, it kind of reminded Undyne of the glass frames in the Judgement Hall. But at least those looked cool. This guy just wasn't pulling it off. Didn't help he had hair as white as Asgore's, but even that was barely on his head.

"Cardinal," the princess spoke. Probably the guy's name. Card would be a cool nickname. "Have I… oh, oh dear." That came out when the human started looking around herself.

Guess it was pretty obvious that the humans weren't surrounding them to watch a picnic or something. Then again, a picnic on the surface did sound kind of nice. Maybe on the beach. Heck, maybe on the beach at _night_!

_Poke._

Undyne shook her head, looking down at her arm to see three of Muffet's black framed fingers poking her arm. Hardly hurt, but it was enough to get her attention. Yeah, she was getting ahead of herself again anyways.

Figures the spider had her eyes on what mattered. That, of course, being the princess, the pinkette, and Card.

"Yes… you're right. I apologize for the troubles I've forced on you." And the princess bowed her head with it. It made Undyne scratch her head at the display. Kind of overdone.

"Oh, a cardinal~?" Undyne looked at Muffet, the spider crossing to pairs of her arms while the rest scratched at her chin. Wait a second, Cardinal wasn't the guy's name? The heck kind of title was carinal? "He must be like Vitty, though _old_ and _gray_ , Ahuhuhuhu~"

That would matter later. The Princess mattered now. Said princess that was twirling around in her dress as he talked to the crowd of people.

"Everyone, I apologize for my behavior you have witnessed." She had a good voice for the crowd, at least when they shut up for her. Good thing they did. "It was not my intention to inconvenience your day, and I thank you for your patience with me."

She _really_ wasn't the one who was supposed to be apologizing. Then again, humans were weird, so they'd probably apologize for winning a fight. Besides, whatever the princess said worked.

A few more grunts and mumbles, way too many for Undyne to tell apart, and the crowd started to disperse. Humans looking away, hiding their dumb typical human expressions and just going wherever they wanted to on the Surface. Lucky guys.

"Louise, Undyne… Muffet, please allow us to continue the conversation inside." The princess motioned towards the castle with her hand, nodding her head like it was practiced. Then again, it probably was. "We have much to discuss."

"Oh yes, _so_ much that must be conversed upon, _Ahuhuhu~._ " Muffet giggled as she took step beside Undyne. That was cool. It let her keep her good eye on her fellow monster.

Besides, the pinkette was walking in step with the princess. A step behind, but given how that pinkette usually acted, it was sort of evening things out. Maybe by the end of the week she'd get them to act like actual friends.

Didn't matter too much now though. They were moving again. Least now it was without Muffet on her back and the princess in front of her. Yeah, too many humans with that typical human expression, but whatever. They'd get used to it.

It didn't take long to get inside the castle, though Undyne wouldn't have minded wasting a little time, mostly just to look at the place. It was a heck of a lot bigger than Asgore's castle in the Underground, not to mention stupidly tall.

Most placed in the castle she was used to could just fit Asgore inside, mostly cause he was so big! Here though, she probably could've rebuilt her house inside of it a dozen times over and no one would notice. The walls were _seriously_ huge!

And that wasn't to even talk about the amount of junk hanging off of all of them. It was kind of like that slimeball's place, but with a little more room to spare. Heck of a lot of gold, white, and purple, but at least it all looked nice, really nice actually.

Really, the only place Undyne could think of that could compete with this was the Core, but that wasn't really a place monsters like to hang out, well most monsters. A quick glance at Muffet told her she was thinking close to the same thing.

The grin on her face was the same kind of smirk she had when they met in the alley, and those eyes were _not_ looking at the same thing all at once. That wasn't to mention even the way her hands were playing with her dress and wrapping around one another. Probably trying to contain herself from climbing the walls.

Undyne knew the feeling, considering how much she wanted to jump on top of the castle just to get closer to the sky.

These humans, they didn't have a lot of determination, but damn if they didn't have some cool things to show off!

"Hey, princess," Undyne spoke as they continued to walk. She turned an eye to a nearby guard, watching the human shirk away, even in his armor. "This place is pretty awesome, if ya don't mind me saying."

"I concur, ~" Muffet responded. "The castle in the Underground only _just_ compares~. I believe you could become _tangled_ within these _string_ of halls, _Ahuhuhu~_ " Undyne grinned. She really was a genius, guessing what Muffet was thinking about.

"It is rather easy to lose your way in here," the princess returned, looking at them over the shoulder of her gown. "But I have lived here all my life, and I assure you that I will not let you lose yourself here."

"The princess is our escort?" Undyne asked, raising the brow of her good eye. "That's pretty awesome!"

"Undyne, _please_ control yourself," the pinkette spoke up. She had that same look, back at the school when she first met the princess. Kind of proved just how consistent humans were. "Princess Henrietta is offering us the privilege of showing us the Tristian Royal Castle. This is an honor for even nobles of the kingdom." It was? Asgore brought kids from Snowdin to the castle like every weekend.

"Guess we're getting' the _royal_ treatment, huh partner?" Count on Derf to never miss a beat! But… Undyne felt her lip pull back a little at that one, even as the pinkette and Muffet groaned. That wasn't exactly shining material.

"That was kinda too easy, Derf," Undyne admitted. Like taking a cheap blow in a fight. "How 'bout… Ah! She's tryin' to make up for Muffet's _crowning!_ " That did it!

Derf's rusted laughter was the response she wanted. But Henrietta's giggling was a bonus. It was always a plus getting the royalty to let loose! Course, it kind of helped that most of the royals Undyne knew were easy to start with.

"I was not _groaning!_ " Muffet fired back, stomping her foot as she shook a few of her fists. "I was just… dealing with _your_ insufferable choices this morning!" Was she still talking about the coffee? That wasn't on Undyne! She was stuffing her face with eggs and ham!

"What were you dealing with? Was it a _pun_ ishment?"

Undyne felt her face split with laughter at the Princess's words.

"HAHAHAHAH!" "GHAHAHAHAHA!" Derflinger's rusted laughter tore through the air. Undyne was _not_ far behind in joining him. Her hand gripped the front of her tank-top, already keeling over and nearly falling to the floor.

"The best! That's the absolute best!" Undyne managed to yell out. "I knew ya were awesome, but that's just perfect!" She wasn't even kidding! Asgore didn't want to watch anime with her and Alphys, but here was the princess cracking puns with Derf!

"Princess… no…" She heard the pinkette let groan, but Undyne didn't care. She was _far_ too enthralled with what just happened!

"I apologize, Louise, but I simply can't help it." Even through her laughter and squinting good eye, Undyne made out the princess smiling at the pinkette. "It is just hard to find someone else who catching what is _throne!_ "

And there was more!

"GHAHAHAHAHA!" Undyne's knees finally hit the floor, her chest heaving to get enough air. Oh by the Angel, it _hurt_ like a ten-hour work out! The best kind of pain!

"HAHAHAHAH! Thousands of years out here and yer one of the best!" Derf joined in. "Been with everyone from mercs ta knights and yer easily the best princess of 'em all!" And Undyne wasn't about to argue. Top five princess even in all of the anime she'd watch with Alphys!

"I thank you for your kind words," she returned to Derf. Undyne was having just keeping her head up right to watch. "And I thank you for lowering your _guard_ around me."

She still wasn't done!

"I'm still ill. I must be." Undyne was able to hear Muffet let out. A quick glance showed the spider covering all her eyes with all her hands. "The princess of this kingdom cannot be crude with her humor."

"Ghaha! Well, hate ta break it to ya Muffet, but it looks like she is!" Undyne reached up and wrapped her arm around the spider's shoulders' pulling her in. It helped she was so tall and her fellow monster short. "And this is proof humans have gotta lot goin for them!"

"B-But this makes negotiations almost _impossible!_ " The spider sounded a little horrified at herself. Undyne was trying to keep herself from completely falling to the floor. "How am I to discuss the intricacies of business models and marketing when she'll take everything so… lightly?"

"You do not need to worry about that," the princess returned to Muffet instead. Undyne had to hand it to her.

Out of all the other humans, this princess was still the only one who could look at Muffet and not freak. Then again, it was kind of the same for her, at least regarding the typical human expression.

"When it comes to matters of the kingdom and its people, I take my duties very seriously." And really, even with breath still returning to her lungs, Undyne could see that she did. Geez, if Asgore were still around, they'd probably be having tea and talking about sunflowers or something.

"Oh? Well, that is _very_ good to know, ~" Muffet responded back, not missing a beat. She easily moves out of Undyne's grip, seeing as she wasn't trying to hold it. "Because there is _much_ I wish to discuss with you, regarding both humans, monsters, and the _many_ things we can do together~."

Undyne made it back to her feet, finally able to take a breath without a chuckle. And it sounded like Derf was back in his sheath too, at least with no rusted laughter.

"But of course," the princess spoke with a small bob of her head. "I am sure we can _spin_ quite the _web_ of connections."

And Undyne was down again!

"GHAHAHAHAHA!" She roared with her hands around her waist, letting her laughter bellow through the walls. "Oh geez! That's priceless! That's rich!" And it only got better as she looked at Muffet's face.

She may have been the first monster Undyne had seen in _weeks_ , but it was always fun to tease someone and now was _definitely_ no exception! And if those wide black eyes and quivering lips were any indication, it was working!

"Princess, _I beg of you_ , please allow us to speak on other matters." The pinkette was talking again. "I sought you out because I needed to speak to you." Oh yeah, they were here for a reason.

Almost like all the laughing and jokes with the princess made Undyne forget about that stuff. Funny how that worked.

"Actually, Louise, there is a serious manner that I wish to discuss." Undyne blinked, focusing on the princess again. That was a heck of a tone change, kind of reminded her of Asgore when he… went to check on Alphys. She shook her head till her hair whipped.

"Yes, this room will do." The princess spoke as she motioned towards a pair of doors. The same super large doors that were all over the place. Kind of like the door to Asgore's room in the Underground, but given the big guy's size, it made sense.

Still, they followed her in there, one after the other. The room was alright, at least as far Undyne could see. Nothing special like suits of armor, swords, or even a piano to play on. Just… a room… with stuff to sit on. Why was this here again?

"It's regarding Sir Wardes," the princess spoke. Sir Wardes? Hey someone new to meet. And it sounded like they'd be a strong human to, if that _sir_ meant anything.

"Wardes? Is he here?" Oh, the pinkette already knew him? Cool! That'd make easier to talk to him. "I have not seen him in months."

"Who's this Wardes guy?" Undyne asked, looking over the pair of humans. She could feel Muffet standing just next to her. "A big shot we're gonna meet?" It was the princess who answered her first.

"Sir Wardes is the captain of the Griffon Knights and a Triangle Class mage in service to the crown." Undyne felt her grin widen. Well heck yeah! He sounded strong as ever! Maybe she'd finally get to meet a human that was worth all the stories.

"And he is also… ah," the pinkette spoke and stopped. It was enough to make Undyne raise a brow. Usually the punk couldn't help herself when it came to talking.

"Something the matter, _dearie~?_ " Muffet asked. That was a good question. "A secret that wish to keep _carefully wrapped, Ahuhuhu~_ " Wait, was that a good question? No, wait, better question!

"Was that a pun?" Derf asked, right in time with Undyne's grin growing. Kid of matched the clear look of shock on the spider's face. This was fun. "Yeah it was! Good to see good habits _stickin'_ to ya!" And that was worth a chuckle!

"I-It was not!" Muffet spoke back. Too bad she was wrong! "And it is more important to know who this Wardes human is!" Well, she wasn't entirely wrong, but what was too wrong about having some fun.

"Relax, Muffet," Undyne put her webbed hand on the spider's hair, ruffling the stuff. The sound of indignation was priceless. "I'm sure this guy is cool in all, but it ain't like he's-"

"Sir Wardes is my betrothed." Now it was Undyne's turn to stop mid-sentence.

Stop and star at the little punk that was staring back at her with a strong pout and red cheeks. It would've been adorable, if Undyne wasn't having her brain catch up with her ears.

"Ah, yer what now?" She asked. She must've misheard the little punk. Yeah, nothing wrong with falling in love, but she was still in school, and that was _way_ too young for monsters and even humans in the documentaries she and Alphys watched.

"Sir Wardes is my fiancé." She didn't mishear her. "So I… am naturally worried for his well-being."

Undyne was a little confused. Maybe a little more than a little, but still maybe not completely. Maybe not.

Her good eye looked at the princess, still watching and smiling at them with that same patient look Asgore liked to have. Muffet was still as stone in her hand, pretty impressive considering she was about as strong as dried wood. She couldn't tell if Derf thought anything.

But she knew what she was thinking. And it was a question that had to be answered.

"So how far have ya gotten with him?"

Asgore's fire was colder than the look of rage the pinkette gave her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

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	20. Hello Monster!

This was not the first time Louise has been in this room of the castle.

Though she was young, she and Princess Henrietta had enjoyed much of the castle with their games. It had given her a chance to see much of the inside of the monumentally sized structure. Now such games would be beyond abhorrent to indulge in, but that did not mean she was to forget what she had seen.

She recalled the regal carvings in the alabaster molding, the same high ceilings that seemed to rival the sky, the finely stitched and perfectly kept furniture, and even the immaculate paintings that adorned the walls.

All of that, of course, was secondary to the conversation at hand.

"So the Musketeer woman and this Captain of the Griffons have left for this… Princes Wales?~" Louise paid more attention to the words than the giant spider speaking them. Even imagining the amalgamation of her hands moving was sickly to her skin. "By your account they must be _very capable, Ahuhuhu~_ " The humor was lost on her.

"They are," Princess Henrietta responded. "I entrusted the task to them due to their strengths and loyalty to the crown. In matter such as this, it would be reckless to depend on anyone not satisfying of both."

The princess spoke from her seat, hands folded above the lapels of her dress. They were alone in the room, with the pair of monsters about them as well. Only Undyne felt the need to stand, but Louise was far to complain.

If she were to sit down, the force may have shattered the furniture.

"Agnes has been my attendant since I was young," the princess continued. "And Sir Wardes is one of only a few knights capable of both higher level magic and physical combat. So many prefer to train one over the other." Louise already knew well why he did both.

"Sir Wardes sounds pretty strong." Louise kept her arms folded and eyes forward as her partner spoke. She would not acknowledge the monster for now. Neither her nor the _more terrifying_ double. "I mean, strong enough ta be the captain of anything is good, right?"

"Indeed," Princess Henrietta returned. Her patience was the eternal reminder to Louise about her strength as a leader, and standing above her. "Sir Wardes is an extremely capable square class mage, excelling in both magical abilities as well as swords-play."

"He sounds like he can make use of what few limbs he has, _Ahuhuhuhu~_ " Louise continued to ignore both monsters. Her resolve only tempered itself as the spindly laugh of the purple spider. "And you say he is your _betrothed_?~"

Louise refused to speak to them.

"He is," the princess spoke for her. She hid the feeling of betrayal. It was followed with an immediate sense of guilt boiling in Louise. "Through interactions with their families, of course. But Sir Wardes and Louise have been the talk of the court in some days."

Louise felt her cheeks flame. What was the princess thinking?!

"Many of the other nobles have wished for his hand, but Sir Wardes is nothing if not loyal. To him, Louise is the only maiden his eyes will care to look at." Louise was shaking. Was it rage or embarrassment? Had to be the latter, as she couldn't feel the former for her princess.

"Oh, so a lady-killer, huh?" Undyne spoke again. Louise clenched her jaw as her partner spoke.

Her jaw immediately unclenched when the monstrously strong hand slapped her back. Her breath was almost knocked out of her.

"Congrats, punk! Looks like ya won the lottery!" Louise was able to steel her jaw and turn her eye at the offending monster. The usual monster-like grin did not deter her.

But, Louise felt her emotions calm as she took in the monster, the same one that had helped her in more ways than the average noble would even dream. But in truth, she knew that was not the cause for her slow relaxation.

Namely, it was the warm feeling she had in her chest, whenever her eyes looked at the monster she had summoned. The blue-scaled, overly-tall, and impossibly strong monster. It was difficult why she had the feeling, but the feeling itself was undeniable. The same with what gave it its flames.

Louise was feeling pride every time she saw the welt on her partner's face.

Perhaps it was because her monster could endure the raging waters of a Triangle class mage and withstand the weight of the earth crumbling around her, yet still she, the talentless mage, was able to put a visible wound on her scales.

That, or perhaps it was that Undyne had dropped the subject after the slap. Either conclusion was acceptable to Louise.

"Sir Wardes is a capable knight," Princess Henrietta continued, graciously. "However, I sent my retainer with him as well, Agnes of the Musketeers. I believe you met her briefly before, Sir Undyne." They had?

Louise racked her mind for a moment, recalling a Musketeer at the Academy. They had not been introduced.

"Oh! You mean that chick with the gun and sword?" Undyne apparently remembered her well. It was fortunate. "Heh, good choice. Figured she was a kick-butt fighter."

"Indeed. She is also a loyal member to the court," the princess continued. "Aside from her skill, her discretion is also something to admire. It is why both she and Sir Wardes were sent on their task." Louise had little doubt the princess thought heavily on the idea of sending them both. She was no fool.

"And how _intriguing_ it is then, to have these two _monstrously_ potential humans fetching a letter for their princess, _Ahuhuhu~"_ Now Louise gave the spider a hard stare, looking at the petite fanged mouth grin, her five eyes upturned in their individual delight.

Wait. A letter?

Louise looked at the spider with screwed eyes, ignoring the monstrosity as she did so. Two of the overgrown purple creature's eyes looked back at her, a confident gleam to their twisted state.

"Uh, Muffet, she never said anything about a letter." Even Undyne confirmed it with her question. Louise had not simply forgotten something the princess had said. She would _never_ ignore something so important. "I'd remember that. Least I'd remember what the task was."

"Oh, she mentioned nothing of it, _to us, Ahuhuhuhu~_ " Louise felt her skin crawl again. Even sitting down, it was impossible to repress the shiver that ran through her.

Either Princess Henrietta was unfazed or much more practiced then her. Louise didn't see her shake or even shirk away at the spider's voice. Either was equal possibilities.

"But when it came to words whispered to those _trusted few_ , my _dearies_ were more than eager to share~." One of the spider's spindly limbs extended, letting the black chitinous arm hang out.

And from it descended a thin small spider on an even smaller string. Louise pulled her legs closer at the sight of it. The distance from the monster did nothing to help her.

"I thought you promised to _behave!_ " Louise shouted at the purple monster a moment later. "How is exposing one of your _spiders_ being appropriate!?" It was the farthest thing from it, in truth.

"Oh? Inappropriate?~" The spider asked again. The very need to ask was unnerving to Louise. Then again there was little about the monster she could name that was not nerve racking. Muffet was no Undyne. "I only wished to make it clear how I know about _her_ deary's letter, _Ahuhuhu~"_

One more laugh like that, just one more, and Louise swore she was going to-

"Do you know what it said?" The princess's words interrupted her thoughts. And if the words were not enough, then the severity of her tone was more than enough. "Have you told any others of this? Any at all?"

"Princess?" Louise found herself whispering. Only once before could she recall Princes Henrietta acting so frazzled. Not even the threat of death did much to her. Yet mention of this parchment did.

"Of _course not_ ,~" Muffet spoke still in her sing-song voice. Louise steeled herself to watch the spider, watch as a pair of her limbs curled into her body, lazed confidently in the chair with her spindly legs crossed. "That would be robbing myself of a information. I wish to _aid_ you, not _disrupt_ you.~"

Louise ran through her mind the logic of it.

If whatever was on this parchment was a poor reflection of the princess, then revealing it would likely stain the crown and make dealings with the other noble hazardous. That would make new business ventures poisonous. It made sense the spider was aware of venomous acts.

However, it was equally a possibility to _blackmail_ the princess with the contents, something that Louise found her fingers dragging into the couch at the very thought of. Muffet was a spider, a sneaky spider that lurked in shadows. It made sense she would try and appear sweet, luring in someone.

"If you are thinking of threatening the princess," Louise began through bared teeth. "Then I will _personally_ see to having your limbs torn from you." She snarled, hard, but didn't yell. Yelling would look weak.

"Okay, punk, chill out." A strong hand on her shoulder was all Louise needed to feel to know it was Undyne speaking. "Goin' right for violence ain't exactly being a good example for a conversation."

Louise furrowed her eyes at Undyne, feeling her nose rise with the effort. The monster, welt already dissipating from her cheek, was nonplus of the act.

"And Muffet, I'm not gonna pretend I know how ta run a business, but I do know how ta protect my friends." Louise felt the scaly hand lift from her shoulder. "And trust me, if yer thinkin' of threatening the princess, _I'm_ gonna get in the way of that."

Louise felt all her malice dissipate upon witnessing the worried expression of the spider.

"N-Now now," she spoke quickly, three of her six hands rising. "I'm not… threatening, really. I-I just want to hasten the conversation is all. I wouldn't threaten someone I want to work with, monster _or human_.~" Her multiple shoulders shrugged and hands lifted at the words.

"Please, keep it that way," the princess spoke in a rushed tone some more. Louise could hear only the faintest of relief in her voice. It was still a far call from her usual well-kept mannerisms. "If you know of their contents then… you likely know of the importance for the secrecy."

"Oh I do, princess, I understand _perfectly_ well~" The method of the spider to go from the horrified from Undyne's threats to business discussing calm was admirable, even if Louise only continued to feel a steeping fire at the blatant disrespect to Princess Henrietta.

And the uneasy silence that followed, short as it was, was something that Louise found herself loathing in equal measure. From the tapping she heard coming from Undyne, it wasn't a feeling she had alone.

"Louise, Sir Undyne," the princess began, her eyes upon them. "Even if it is only for ceremony, I want… I want your word that what I am able to tell you does not leave this room. May I have it?" She didn't need to ask.

"Of course!" Louise spoke quickly, nearly bouncing with the word. "I would do nothing to betray your trust, princess."

"I'm with the punk," Undyne put her webbed hand on Louise's head as she spoke. She futiley tried to bat it away. "May not have known ya for long, but we're friends. Nothing's going to make me ruin that!" She knew the monster was smiling.

"Thank you, both of you," the princess spoke again, her words far calmer now, more relaxed. Louise was fortuned to hear the words spoken.

It did her well to know she had the princess's trust in such a way. She now only had to prove she was worthy of it.

"The letter discussed my… relationship with Sir Wales of Albion." Louise knew him well, at least well through the nature of nobles.

He was the cousin of the princess, of same age and frequent companion when the played together. He was a kind noble, who often spoke about the state of his people more than his own well-being. His magical abilities were also to be spoken highly of, despite having not attended the Magic Academy.

"In more detail, the letter showed the… intimacy of our relationship." Louise could see the way the princess hid herself as she spoke.

She noticed because her own eyes widened at the admission. Now the only factor of the prince could remember was his familial relationship with the princess.

"Wait, how's that bad?" Undyne spoke up now. Of course she did. She didn't _know_. "You're a couple of kids crushin' on one another. That's supposed to be normal right?" Louise had to assume crush meant lover in the monster tongue.

"I-In most circumstances, it would not," the princess spoke on. "However, the Prince is to be wed to another kingdom, as a form of bonding between the two kingdoms." Louise nodded at the words.

That was a common practice in nobility. It was, afterall, the same reason she was being wed to Sir Wardes when she came of age, and… if she graduated the Magical Academy.

"However, the letter I last sent him is proof that he and I… that he is not devout to his bride-to-be." For the first time, the princess lowered her head, taking a deep breath. Louise was stuck with the thought it was wholly unbecoming of a regal figure to look so tired. "And so… if the letter were to be shown to the foreign kingdom…"

"They'd have their reason to _forfeit_ the marriage, oh dear,~" Muffet spoke with as close to sincerity that Louise could imagine. Her words still sounded venomous. "I suppose this is what they refer to as the _pain of love, Ahuhuhu~_ " Now that was too far.

"Do not laugh at the princess!" Louise glared at the spider's five eyes. She could endure the monstrous sight for her liege. "This is a matter that is not meant to be taken lightly, and you should be aware of how _insulting_ that is."

"Punk's right, Muffet," Undyne spoke up. Louise looked up to see her partner looking at the purple spider. Her good eye, bright and golden, was narrow and slit. "Can't take what ya said in many was except insulting. Kinda short sighted for a five-eyed monster." If that was pun, Louise ignored.

"No, no, it's quite alright." Louise was not prepared for the princess herself to excuse the insult. "She is not wrong. I was foolish with my actions, and now I am dependent on others to help me fix my mistakes."

"Tch, you're puttin' too much on yourself," Undyne spoke back. "Monsters screw up all the time, doesn't keep us from helpin' one another out. Sides, sounds like you've been keepin' this in." Undyne must have been experienced in the field.

Louise could only look on at her liege, thinking heavily on the information learned. This was _not_ something to speak lightly of, or at all, beyond the walls of the castle. The absence of the guards made all the more sense now.

Still, it did leave her with a burning question.

"Not to be rude, your highness, but why are you telling us this?" Louise asked carefully. It was beyond improper to insult or question the actions of her liege. "I am uncertain how we may be of use. And now, with my… departure from the Academy, I fail to see how this pertains to us."

"In the moment?" Princess Henrietta clarified. "Because Sir Wardes believed you and Sir Undyne would be excellent partners to travel with." Louise felt her face heat. There was no sun on her to cause the enflaming feeling. "Though in equal honesty, Sir Agnes and I disagreed." And that cooled the flames instantaneously.

"How _intriguing_ ~," Muffet spoke up again. Louise saw the _giant purple spider_ had taken to tapping the ends of her chitinous fingers together, of two of her three pairs of hands. "The _capable knight_ requested a student and her _capable partner_ to aid him, over a loyal and well-mannered _ward_ of the princess.~" Louise found her words to be… venomous.

"Hold your tongue!" She found herself yelling at the spider. The grin she received in turn did nothing to placate her quick bout of rage. "Sir Wardes likely requested for me because… h-he wished to show me his work." That, or he valued her partner even more. With the tales of her and Fouquet, it was not hard to imagine.

"Actually, you are correct, Louise." She found her pink hair to be unsuitable for covering her flaming features. "It was the reason Agnes disagreed with sending you. Efficient as you and Sir Undyne have shown to be, tasks of the crown are not meant to be touristic in nature."

Louise nodded in agreement, letting her back sink into the chair she sat on. It was still as soft as when she first sat on it, a testament to its fine stitching and upkeep. Her fingers hard ruined some of that otherwise flawless work.

"I disagreed on the grounds of circumstances." Her hand moved till it was motioning towards Undyne, the fish monster having arms crossed and wearing the perpetual snarl on her lips. At least it was not the violence-encouraging grin. "The desire to leave followed only shortly after the revelation of your king."

Oh, that did explain it.

"Yeah, I was kinda of out of it, wasn't it?" Undyne didn't even argue the point. Odd, as Louise wasn't sure if she would normally. "Not happy we didn't get picked for the trip, but can't say you're wrong for not reachin' out. Wouldn't have one of the guard dogs on duty if they lost a litter or somethin' like that." To that, Louise had no idea how to respond.

"Indeed. Strong as both you and Louise are, burdening you in a time of mourning is no act that I would commit to." And this was the princess that Louise had known all her life. The bright light in the noble world. "And though you are now able, I only wish to make you aware of the absence of both my ward and your fiancée." He words were directed toward Louise.

"And I thank you, your highness," she returned, bowing her head even as she sat down. "It is much appreciated, and I do regret that we cannot do more to assist-"

"Whoa, hey, hold on, how come we can't?" Louise turned her head to look up at Undyne.

The fish monster was gazing back down at her with twisted lips and protruding sharp teeth.

"Those guys have got a head start, right? Can't we just catch up to 'em?" Louise calmed herself. The monster was not from these lands. She was not aware of the perception of distance. That was her flaw… among many others.

"Sir Wardes and Agnes are heading towards the port of Talbes," the princess spoke in her stead. "They left the following two nights and are likely to arrive about this time. From there they will acquire the ship necessary to reach Albion."

"That's not far, right?"

Louise was once more, and doubtlessly would be countless time more, reminded of her partner's monstrous strength. And illogical fallacies.

"Undyne," the she spoke up. "It took us a day to and night to simply travel from Count Mont's estate to the capital. To travel from here and rendezvous with Agnes and Sir Wardes is… you would need to run at a pace to break stallions." And that was hardly considering that Sir Wardes was likely riding his griffon.

"Punk, you haven't _seen_ me get serious in a race before." Undyne stuck a thumb to her chest, grinning her brightest smile. It was the same face that lured battle towards her. "Thunder snail's got nothin' on me!" Thunder what?

"I believe you are fast, having seen your strength," the princess spoke as well. Louise was thankful. She would be able to talk sense to her senseless familiar. "However, Louise is speaking honestly. Sir Wardes and Agnes have departed too early for you to reasonably catch them, not without the risk of losing your way. That is not to account for the griffon and stead they both possess."

"She's right," Louise added on. She had _completely_ forgotten about the fact that Undyne might not know where to go. "If you were to reach the port even a few moments after Sir Wardes and Agnes depart, then you'll have no idea where to go."

"Then we'll just have ta get there before they leave!" Louise kept her hands from slapping her face. Just barely. "Or are you saying that I can't do that?"

She had to remain calm. Undyne was brutish in everything, including her logic. She was simply not thinking of the limitations in travel. Perhaps she was merely overzealous with her abilities. Both were likely.

"She isn't wrong, dearies~" Louise felt her teeth grit, maybe crack, at Muffet's voice. " _Sir_ Undyne here is capable of traversing the whole of Waterfall in _seconds_ , or so I have heard from the dearies watching from the stalagmites, _Ahuhuhu~_ " Now Louise felt she was the one outside the loop.

"That was a practice run and you know it!" Her partner shot back, oddly. Poisonous as Muffet sounded and appeared, that did feel to be a compliment, between monsters no less.

"Undyne, only _you_ would think of running the length of a mountain as _practice_.~" Was it really that far? "My dearies were nearly _swept_ _away_ by your speed, _Ahuhuhu~_ " Fast enough to create a draft did sound to be fast.

And suddenly, Louise was remember Undyne being able to dodge Fouquet's golem while dressed in the unseeingly heavy armor of hers.

"Hear tha', partner?" Derflinger spoke from Undyne's back. Louise was already bracing herself for a pun. "You ran so fast the spiders were _blown away!_ "

She was still forced to put her head into her hands at the sword's words. That, and the laughter the monster and her princess shared. It just wasn't fair.

"That is quite fast," the princess responded past her gloved hand, giggling and grinning even as she spoke. Her lavender hair continued to frame her features. "But stallions command a frightening speed, and that is saying nothing of the griffon that Sir Wardes possesses."

"That's cause you've never seen me goin' all out, princess," Undyne put on her feral grin as she spoke. Only the unwavering look from Princess Henrietta kept Louise from correcting her appearance. There was little she could do regardless. "If you think any of 'em can even spot me running, then yer missin' out!"

The mention of stallions against Undyne reminded Louise of something else.

"You did outrun the mares following Fouquet's capture." Her hands slipped from her face as she spoke. A deep sight leaving her tired lungs. "By near leagues if I recall correctly."

"Oh, you do _dearie~_ " Louise did not look towards Muffet as she spoke. She only heard the spider skitter closer. "I made sure there was a _careful_ eye on you two, _Ahuhuhuhu~_ " Louise was no longer surprised by the words.

She only hoped to the Founder that even the chitinous purple spider knew the meaning of decency. Else, there would be a commission for a large boot from the local cobbler.

"Perhaps then… we may try that," Princess Henrietta spoke, the hesitation clear in her voice. It was _prevalent_ within Louise's mind. "Assuming there was no gain in the schedule, then there may yet be the hours necessary to reach them."

"You bet there is! It's quitting talk to think that there isn't!" _Boom_ **.** Undyne wrapped her fist against her chest, making the familiar booming sound, familiar to Louise at least. It usually came when she mistook reality for fiction. "I bet ya I'd be there no problem."

"Wouldn't hurt ta give it a try, would it?" Derflinger now spoke from Undyne's back, his rusty voice screeching softly beneath his words. "What's tha' worst that's gonna happen if she misses 'em?"

Aside from the panic of the Tristian residents and the nobles that were unfortunate to cross her path? Louise feared to think of what else.

"That is fair point," the princess spoke now with a bob to her head. Her lavender hair swayed with the motion. "What's more, I fail to see how your magic could be anything but beneficial." Of that, Louise could agree.

There were few who were not intimidated to submission by the sight of Undyne's magic and fury.

"I know, right?" Undyne's feral grin was present again, accompanied well by the gleam in her single golden eye. "I betcha you wouldn't miss me, I'd be there and back so quick."

Hold on a moment.

"Undyne," Louise spoke to her partner, earning the gleam of the golden eye. "You do mean… _we_ would be back quickly, correct?" And she hated the way the feral grin slowly melted away.

"Uh… not really…" the monster shook her head. Good, because Louise felt her fist tighten into a ball. "I mean, not that you're not a kickass partner, but this ain't something you'd be able to take."

Poor wording. _Very_ poor wording.

"I _am_ going with you, Undyne!" Louise threw down her foot as she spoke. "If you are going, then _so am I!_ "

She cared not hat all eyes were on her.

"You are _not_ leaving me like some throw away floosy!" Her teeth grit and cheeks burned at the mere mention of herself in such a way.

"Whoa, hey, calm down, punk," Undyne held up her webbed hands at the fury Louise threw. Good. "I ain't thinking of leavin' ya behind for some reason like that." Not good enough.

"Then why not?" Louise asked, snarling. "Why not take me the same way we did with Fouquet, or with Siesta, or even the journey _here?!_ " There had better be a good reason.

"Cause the last time I tried ta hitch a ride to someone cross the Underground, I was pickin' up his missin' ribs for _days!_ " Louise felt her fury cool quickly.

That was a very good reason.

"I mean, yeah, Paps is a livin' skeleton, but knocking those bones loose ain't exactly a thing ya can do just by accident." She shrugged with the words, rustling the lance and sword on her back.

Louise took a moment to realize those powerful artifacts were still there, laced to her back like weapons that were her own. Divine to her though they acted, she was able to use them at all. Power truly was her partner incarnate.

"You didn't even _see_ his bro get pissed at _me, did you?!_ " Louise recognized the scaly blue hand aiming towards Muffet with an accuser-like finger.

The spider's eyes blinked out of unison, in the direction a maid would clean a window.

"You mean the lazy _sack of bones_ ,~" Muffet responded with her usual sharp grin. The snort from was an answer, of some kind at least. "It's _impossible_ to keep track of him. Trust me, he's has quite the _eye_ for my dearies, _Ahuhuhuhu~_ " Louise had no idea how to take that.

She could however, feel her knees lock-up as the spider stood as well, her elongated and thin form walking across the parlor in a way she _never_ wished to imagine a spider do.

"After all, I've been _so_ much more focused on the more _scrumptious_ of details.~" Louise raised her hand as the spider approached her side, ready to bat the monster away.

Unfortunately, said monster appeared to take her outstretched limb as some form of invitation. Like a noble man with no idea of reproach. And only to add to the growing concerns, her strength was at the very least the same as her own, despite the gauntness of her limbs.

"Like a dainty noble of a _prestigious_ academy, without a friend or devoted caretaker.~" Louise planted her foot and tried to rip her hand free. The spider fell around her back, lacing more of her _limbs_ about her. It was disgust that kept Louise from screaming.

It didn't stop her from scowling.

"But who's determination never faltered, taking in stride even the _oddest_ of circumstances, _Ahuhuhuhu~"_ There was nothing funny about that to Louise. There was nothing humorous about a giant purple monster mocking her difficulties.

And the stupid _giant spider_ kept her chitinous hands all over her. Louise felt her skin crawl as if the same _dearies_ the other monster loved to call were already on her, swarming her like they did following their entry into the inn.

She grit her teeth as she felt the purple monstrosity cling to her back, doubtlessly preparing a web of her own!

"Hey, Muffet." Louise looked up to see Undyne, stepping closer to the two. She had that grin again, the one that would make musketeers reconsider their choices. "You promise to behave while I'm savin' the punk's husband?"

Even with the chill of a giant spider clinging to her, Louise felt her face flame.

"Sir Wardes is my _fiancé_ , not my-"

"But of course,~" Muffet interrupted her, voice just beside her hear. Louise felt her jaw lock. She could practically _feel_ the spider's fang hovering next to her. "I would _never_ dare to disappoint a sweet _dearie_ such as her.~" How the same word could have such two different feeling conveyed at once was honestly shocking to Louise.

"Awesome!" Undyne spoke, her grin getting wider. Truly this is what it meant to be trapped between a canyon and a mountain. "Cause I got somethin' to tell ya."

"Oh~?" Muffet spoke again, still clinging to Louise's back. How she wished to blow the monster off, but restraint was something she needed in the presence of the princess, or at the very least her castle. "And what might that be, _hmm~?_ "

But it was getting a lot harder to control herself with the chitinous limbs holding her still. Not nearly as hard as Undyne's scales, but Louise could still imagine the _giant spider clinging to her like the trunk of a tree_.

"If anything happens to the punk while I'm gone, your limbs are going to be flying like my spears, kay?"

Louise wasn't sure if the relief came from Undyne's protective nature, or from Muffet finally releasing her.

Then again, seeing the usual feral grin on the spider made it clear to Louise it was the latter. There was very little comfort to have staring into a set of teeth sharp enough to battle a blade.

"O-Oh, well, no need to worry about _that,"_ Louise heard the spider return. "Besides, I have _much_ more I wish to discuss with the royalty. So many _ventures_ that need to be discussed."

Louise felt her jaw twist with her eyes. There were _many_ problems that could arise with that arrangement. The princess was heavily guarded, and a capable mage in her own right, but the monsters was… something else.

Even just considering Undyne, it was _impossible_ to imagine just what the spider was capable of, right after the façade of creepiness. Was leaving her alone with the princess a good idea? Actually, was it a good idea to have her near the princess at all?

"That sounds to be an interesting conversation." Louise turned to Princess Henrietta, the princess smiling kindly at the spider. The monster smiled in return, but it was far from kind. Venomous was the only appropriate word Louise could image.

"Princess, are you certain?" Louise found herself asking. There was a lot happening rather quickly. "If you were to request it, I-I'm certain that Muffet would give you the appropriate berth, and _privacy_." She spoke with more force.

There were doubtlessly already more of the spiders around the room, watching, just as the monster had done the previous night. The grin only _promised_ as much.

"Don't be so _restrictive_ , dearie~" Muffet spoke to the unasked question. "I only wish to grow my business, and there comes a time when _eight hands_ simply isn't enough, _Ahuhuhuhu~_ " The same laugh that made Louise's skin crawl.

"I'm sure you are a _joy_ to be around," Louise returned to the monster, already preparing for the chitinous arm to wrap about her like before. "But the princess is _not_ some meek business owner to-"

"It's quite alright, Louise," the princess interrupted, not even set-off a tiny amount by the spider invading her space. Louise continued to be marveled at her liege's grace. "I promise in turn to not be a _royal pain._ "

But that grace could always due to be improved.

"GHHAHAaaa!" Undyne bellowed out from behind Louise, even as she pushed her own face to her hands. A glance at the spider gave her the same image. "That's awesome to hear!"

Louise groaned into her hands. It was almost as if she was being convinced by the _Founder_ himself to let Undyne go. Logically and emotionally, she needed to go. She'd be an immense benefit to Sir Wardes and Agnes, and she could torture them with her puns.

Besides, it was as the princess said. It would not be for long, not so long as they were able to retrieve the letter and return. And Sir Wardes would be capable of at least _reminding_ the monster of what was appropriate.

This still wasn't what she wanted, but perhaps it was for the best.

"Please take this," Louise removed her head from her hands to see the princess holding out a sealed letter. Even when handing such a simple parchment, her form was regal.

"Wait, another letter?" Undyne asked. Louise saw enough of her partner to see her head titled until her good eyes was focused heavily on the princess. She knew better than to find it insulting. But it was still _a little_ insulting. "Isn't that the reason I'm runnin' off ta join them? Wouldn't that just cause more problems?"

"Official decrees are _hardly_ revolution worthy, Undyne," Louise spoke back to her familiar. She folded her arms to calm her nerves. Seriously. "This is nothing more than Princess Henrietta's affirmation to her own orders. Confirmation for the skeptical. The former is…" Actually, she didn't know how to properly phrase what the first letter was.

"An unfortunate mistake on my part." Apparently the princess did. Louise almost shouted that those were blasphemous words… that the princess's herself had spoken. "But you are correct that this may be a trail towards an unsanctioned act between two kingdoms. That may be troubling to others."

"There's always a trail for every web you find,~" Muffet spoke now. Louise had almost forgotten about her, tucked in a dark corner with her black dress. The purple skin and her sing-song voice were too impossible to ignore, however. "It's always best to _cut_ the ties that bind, _Ahuhuhu~_ " Her words helped even less.

"A bit morbid, but not incorrect," the princess continued. She looked towards Undyne, letter still in her hand. "I believe that once you show Sir Wardes and Agnes the letter, it would be best to dispose of it. Though I am confident Agnes will do so regardless of my request." Louise couldn't miss the smile on the princess's face.

"Kay, I gotcha," Undyne affirmed with a shake of her head. Her webbed hand reached out, taking it from the princess. She at least didn't do harm to the crown when she took it. "Better safe than sorry, I guess."

Of that, Louise was thankful she recognized.

"Guess that mean's I'm all set ta head out?"

And of that, Louise was soured to hear.

" _Already_?" Louise found herself asking with a strained voice. "I-It's midday, a-and you know _nothing_ about where to go! Let alone the _provisions_!" And those were only the most obvious problems to deal with.

"But you were sayin' that those guys are probably at the port or whatever, right?" Louise felt her face scrunch at the reminder. "So waiting's just gonna make it harder to catch up to them, right?

" _Ahuhuhuhu~_. It is always a _wonder_ to see you so astute, Undyne." Louise was thankful to not feel the spider's creeping hands upon him again. "But then, I've never seen you hesitate before acting before."

"An' I bet ya see a lot, huh?" The sword's words earned a mix of Louise's opinions. "But my partner's right on _point_ , ain't waitin' around if we're already in a rush." Even through a rusted voice, Louise knew the blade was not incorrect. She just wished him to be.

"I suppose that if we are in agreement now… then it would be best to depart quickly," the princess walked away from them as she spoke. At least she had the mind to think as she acted.

She stopped when she stood by a nearby window, her hands guiding open the glass planes to show the kingdom below. The kingdom's many buildings, stone streets, tall walls, and immaculate horizon.

Though it was not the first time she had seen it, Louise still found the site as breathtaking as ever. Truly no expense was spared to show the strength of Tristian to those of foreign nations.

"Nice view," Undyne complimented, as Louise believe she, herself, would speak well of a dog. It made her temple throb. "Probably stare at that all day. Heck, all night, too, if ya got good view of the stars."

"It is magnificent, isn't it?" Princess Henrietta agreed. "Often I find the sights more captivating than the discourse of politics." Louise was kind to believe the trade was hardly a difficult one.

"Yeah, can't say I'd be able to keep focus." Louise was not kind to remind Undyne that she had already lost hers. It would make for a humorous exchange later, not at her expense at least.

"But this sight reminds me also of the duties that I must fulfill." The princess turned back to Undyne, Louise noted that usual and captivating sternness in the royal's eyes. "Because if I were to fail in my duty, this sight would be robbed from me forever."

The implications as to how were numerous to Louise. By a _quick_ glance, she could see that Muffet, two of her chitinous hands holding her over-sized head, looked much the same.

Undyne only grinned her mad manic grin.

"Guess that means I gotta do my job well then, huh?" At least the madness was turned towards productivity. And Louise knew from the many events she had witnessed, that was not a force many could endure.

The princess only nodded towards the much taller monster, her gloved hand pointing far off the plot of land and housings within the castle walls. It aimed towards a dirt trail that quickly swallowed itself into the forest.

"Follow the road east, however you wish to," Princess Henrietta instructed. "It ends at the port and there, with luck, you will find Sir Wardes and Agnes."

"Got it!" Undyne let out louder than Louise expected. The gripping of her webbed hands into a fist, however, was a bit more expected. "I'll be there before you can say Thundersnail Race 10,000!"

The pink noble was lost more now by her familiar's words than ever before.

"Wha-?" And then she was lost in the bangs of her own hair.

Louise quickly ran her hand through her wild mane, pushing the pink locks away. Hand fulls later and she could finally see again. See the princess doing much the same to her own short hair and Muffet holding onto a nearby wall.

And, most importantly, Undyne missing. The implication was immediate.

"She didn't…" Louise asked, already fearing the answer.

**Boom**

And the single sound emanating from the town below was answer enough.

"Oh dear," Princess Henrietta spoke as well, her fear and worry as obvious as Louise's annoyance. The same cause, yet different reasons. "She is… quite fast."

"She's not one to lie, of that I am sure," Louise answered her liege's words.

"Is she… going to be okay?" The princess asked from aside Louise. She truly had no answer.

"I fear _far_ more for the humans in her way than Undyne herself," Muffet spoke from her plot in the corner still. It was the darkest part of the room, appropriately. "I doubt there is even less that can _pierce_ her scales, _Ahuhuhuhu~_ "

The monster, disgusting as the giant spider was, wasn't entirely wrong.

Louise wasn't worried about Undyne. She was worried about what Undyne would do.

* * *

Undyne wasn't worried about the punk. She was worried about what the kid would do.

Even as she jumped over an old wagon, hearing the cry of some cowardly human behind her, she knew that the punk wasn't going to sit around and do nothing. With Muffet, she'd probably pester the fellow monster with questions and favors. Actually, probably demands. She was keen on those.

**Boom**

The ground shook as her boots landed, only for it to crack when she shoved off it again, taking another leap forwards. The trees were passing like the boulders in Waterfall, at it was awesome.

Still, Muffet would play nice, probably, considering that Undyne had told her to. She was like a cat like that, always hiding and letting others do the fighting for her. Fighting or cooking, just not talking, she loved talking.

**Boom**

Another shake of the ground as she hit the dirt. This time, a rabbit or something ran out from the tree. At least it looked Honey-Buns from Snowdin, and she was a rabbit monster. Whatever. It was out of her sight quickly enough. She'd just ask the couple of humans what it was later, or maybe Louise.

She'd probably be talking to the princess and Muffet the whole time anyways. Or, if Derf was serious, probably upping her magic game. That'd be sweet, at least seeing the punk throwing out lightning like some anime heroine. It'd be the perfect way to hammer home how awesome the surface was!

**Boom**

"GAH!" Someone was shouting now, but they were there and gone faster than Undyne could pay attention for. Besides, she didn't hit them, and that was what counted. She had to be getting close now though, seeing as the castle was already almost out of sight.

That gave her… maybe ten more minutes? An hour? Wasn't a big deal either way. Hard to complain about being able to freely run on the surface!

Probably came in equal likelihood that the punk was going to ask Muffet all about the Underground. She'd be good for it. At least, Muffet will probably ask for sweet treats or gold.

The princess would probably make that easy. She was cool like that, even dropping some good puns to cool off the spider. That was the best kind of leader!

**Boom**

And she jumped a bridge, or a river. Actually, both, but it was still better than a shark. Still not much of a clue if she was getting closer or not. Not until she saw 'the oceanic bay' or whatever the heck that was.

Just a lot of water basically. And so far, all she got were trees. Granted, trees were awesome when they weren't covered in snow, even if they were zooming past her at top speed. Still awesome.

The punk probably couldn't handle it though, seeing as she had to walk her and Siesta most places. Granted, the humans up here were weak, at least a lot weaker than Asgore said they were. Probably cause they didn't have monsters to fight. That sounded like something Alphys would say.

Speaking of, Muffet would probably tell the punk all about Hotland, probably the Core to boot. Might get her to realize how much better the huamns were above the underground. Well, the different humans.

**Boom**

And there goes a bridge. The humans are pretty smart, even here. They'll fix it.

That left her to appreciate the hangtime for a little bit, seeing as the air was getting colder. That was pretty much never a bad thing. Least it was always better than getting hotter.

Hotland was a cool place to hang out, sort of, but when Undyne felt her scales peeling from the magma, that was usually a sign to hit the road. Least in Waterfall she could sleep in a river. She usually woke up before she fell into the void at least.

It sounded like it'd be a fun climb if she ever forgot. Then again, that wasn't really a problem she had anymore.

**Boom**

"WAGH!" Another human's scream came and left as Undyne hit the ground in another lunge. They'd get use to her. The Underground did.

Once Louise made it big with the princess, or the princess became a queen, the screams would probably get less frequent. Probably. At least the typical human expression would drop. There was only so much of a dumb thing Undyne could take.

It's what made the punk worth hanging out with. A little straight-forward, like a shorter Papyrus, but at least she had her heart in the right place. Never a bad thing to want to get better.

And if crying your eyes out in the woods like a confession was anything to go by, she was working on it. Good thing that was.

**Boom**

Undyne _knew_ she was picking up speed now. And it kind of had to do with the fact that she'd be across the Underground by now. Least she'd be to and from Snowdin by now.

It just made the wind in her hair all the better. Gliding in the air like Tsunederplane. Without the Tsune at least. Kind of useless to hide that stuff.

But still, it really did almost feel like flying.

**Boom**

Even if it meant she had to jump here and there, it was still awesome.

The surface, freaking _huge_ as it was, only got bigger the higher Undyne went. It may have been nothing but snowless trees for a good while that Undyne could see, but it beat hitting the top of the Underground and getting the only good view in the place.

Here, she'd have to travel for _days_ to see everything. Or weeks, maybe months. Depended on if the punk wanted to come, and if she could handle the travel.

Siesta too, but she'd probably want to walk. Super cool, but a lot more like the residents of Snowdin over the protectors. Course, that just meant she was who Undyne was fighting for. Sort of. If she was monster.

**Boom**

And with another fresh crater in the road, Undyne could start to see the little changes coming up.

Aside from the trees getting _a little_ more spread out, the air felt different. Like different from usual Surface air, which was already awesome. In fact, it was even more awesome, if that could be believed.

Probably because it was getting colder, _and_ it was getting saltier! Least it tasted that way when it was whipping past her teeth. Alphys would probably say that'd do something to her hair. Least that was the case in a lot of the girlier animes they watched.

**Boom**

And on the second jump, the reason why was becoming pretty obvious.

Namely the pool of blue that began to seep over the horizon. Undyne felt her grin grow with the speed at which it approached. That was damn fast.

"Yeah!" Undyne let out at the peak of her jump, thrusting her arms up in the air.

"Whoa!" And it threw off her balance in the same thrust. That was bad.

"Oh crap!" she yelled as her good eye caught the ground mid-tumble. It wasn't exactly getting further away from her.

**BOOM**

And it wasn't soft on the landing either.

Undyne felt her body rag-doll on the ground, way too much flying past her good eye to tell what was going where. Her head felt like it was getting ready to fly off, and that was saying nothing about the weird ways her arms were bending. Papyrus would have been impressed!

Even if right now she felt like she had just gotten hit by Asgore. _Looked_ like it too.

Blur of green, brown, bit of blue, and a whole lot of red. That was her hair. Tangled up around her face as she continued to beat across the ground. At least now she knew how skipping stones felt!

**Bwiiiiish**

"Guh…" Undyne let out as she felt her tumbling stop. Least it felt that way. The words was still spinning in her good eye.

She twisted and flopped onto her back, ignoring the stiff materials jutting into her back. Maybe some dirt, or stone. Heck, could probably be the remains of some tree. She had hit the ground pretty hard. Still softer than falling in Waterfall.

A hand brushed at the hair that had fallen over her face, feeling the sun beat onto her eye-lid. It was one heck of a way of making sure she was awake, even if it was just annoyance on top of pain. Like having pebbles fall on her after a run.

"Heh, took a wrong turn, partner?" Derflinger joked from her back, rusty voice squeaking as he talked. Guess he was okay. "Or was there 'nother crater ya wanted ta fill?" Undyne grit her teeth as she put her palms to the ground.

"Nope, I'm good," she grunted out, pushing herself up off the rubble. Had to be rubble. Too many rocks to not be. Least there was some dirt. And a few tree roots… "Ruined 'nough of the road, and I'm _pretty_ sure I saw the ocean up ahead."

"And yer not jumpin' for it because?" Actually a good question, even as Undyne finally got to her feet.

She leaned back, putting the balls of her fists against the small of her back. A series of cracks ran up her spine, flooding her with relief. A low groan left her, head leaned backwards and looking at her torn-up path upside down.

Her chest flexed, arms with it, letter her body flip forward back down the road ahead.

"Cause I'm _gonna-_ "

And look right into an unexpected sight. She felt her words die off as her good eye focused on the end of a gun. A very long gun aimed right at her.

"… run… into… it."

Compared to the pistol Bratty and Catty were throwing around the dump, the rifle was bigger, _way_ bigger. And it probably had bullets in it, like actually bullets. Not the rubber stuff that were jammed into the pistol.

And if that wasn't enough, then the eye glaring down the barrel didn't look like Catty trying to pull a prank. And hey! She knew that glare!

"What are _you_ doing here, monster?" Undyne blinked with her good eye, recognizing Agnes. She must have recognized her, because she knew she was a monster. "What is your purpose?" And that growl was something fierce.

It made Undyne grin.

"Relax, okay?" She started, looking at the human. Had to look at the human, otherwise it would've been rude. "I just tripped is all, nothin' big."

And the gun moved closer to her. Any closer and it might've poked her eye out. That couldn't happen, it was the only one she had left!

"Silence!" Undyne shifted her head at the command. "You're the monster from the Magic Academy." Cool, so she did know her. "The one serving beneath Louise Valliere." Well, almost.

"Sort of," Undyne admitted. "More like we're partners and all. I help her, she helps me, that sort of thing." Help out finding Asgore's staff and getting Siesta back, and she gets to be the Ambassador later on. Win-Win.

"Then why are you not with her?" The woman spoke again, gun trailing a bit closer. It was getting _really_ close now. "Have you abandoned her? Have you fled from your master?" Undyne felt her lips snarl. Mostly because her teeth were starting to dry.

"Not even close!" Undyne let out, lowering her hands. If the human was gonna shoot, she'd have to do it soon. "I came here cause the punk and I got talkin' earlier and-"

"Is Louise not here?" Undyne let out a groan as she was interrupted. She was starting to understand how the Snowdin dogs felt around Papyrus. At least he shut up around her. "That is curious, a familiar without a master." And those words again!

Louise turned her head, looking for the human speaking. Didn't take long to find him.

Tall guy, maybe a bit shorter than her, and wearing blue clothes that looked like they were out of one of those musketeer animes that Alphys showed her. There was like only one season of it, but the hat and cape were a dead match to it, given how tall the damn thing was.

Had a nice beard too, though _way_ smaller than Asgore's. Couldn't top full body. But the real bonus was that he wasn't aiming a gun at her. That was good, seeing as one was enough.

"Wardes, quiet," the woman spoke. That Undyne's full attention.

"Wait, Wardes? You're Wardes?" Agnes pointed towards the man, who tilted his head at her question. Man, he looked more aloof than Sans after a nap. Considering how that lazy sack of bones wouldn't put out a fire on his own head, that was saying something.

"Indeed, I am," he responded, bowing his head lightly at the question. "And my I assume you are the Sir Undyne I have heard so many tales of?" Tales? Seriously, there were stories about her?

"I hope I am!" Undyne responded back, putting her hands to her hips. "Bet there aren't any other monsters like me around here!"

"There are no monsters like you anywhere," the first human spoke again. Undyne wanted to scowl at her, but at least she was putting away her gun. That was good, really good. "And you have still failed to answer my question."

"Sorry, missed the question. What was it?" Undyne really didn't know. The scowl under the woman's orange hair was pretty nice to see.

" _Why_ are you _here?_ " Her finger pointed to the rubbled ground as she spoke. Undyne kicked away a piece of the road her fall had coughed up. "Why are you here and not with your Master?"

And what was with that master talk?! Seriously, if she was going to be spending _days_ with these people, there was going to be some clean-up going on.

"Kay, first off, not master, _partner_ ," Undyne held up a webbed finger as she spoke, claw poking out from the tip of her nail. Agnes didn't falter. "Second, I'm here cause the princess and the punk thought it'd be a good idea for me to join up with you guys."

Well, the princess did, and the punk after some convincing. Undyne wasn't going to miss a chance to see more of the Surface _and_ help out a friend. This was like cutting two trees with one swing!

"Princess Henrietta, sent you?" The blue gowned knight asked. Even under his hat, Undyne could see a brow perked. Agnes was _way_ more physical than him, considering her scowl only got deeper. Undyne had to learn that trick later.

"Yup! Princess sent me!" Louise put her hand on her hip and gave her broadest grin. Had to smile when meeting new people. Or the same person officially for the second time. Same difference.

"I'm sorry, but I fail to believe that." The Wardes guy spoke. Even the way he talked was like the aloof heroes in some of those fantasy anime. The punk really did hit the jackpot! Too bad he wasn't in her ballpark. "Princess Henrietta would not send… a familiar, alone."

"It's monster, dude. _Mon-Ster_." Undyen pointed at herself as she spoke. He was probably the first one who had difficulty calling her that. Maybe he wasn't all in for the jackpot. "Sides, she explained that you guys were wanting the punk and me for this, so not you got me!"

"And I'm here, too!" Derflinger spoke from her back, popping out of his sheath. Oh yeah! She had forgotten to introduce him. That was pretty bad of her.

"Oh great, _another_ one." Agnes spoke up. Undyne had no idea what she meant, or what the eye-roll meant for that matter. Still, kind of rude on her part. "Not only a talking _fish_ , but now a talking _sword_." Geeze, what was wrong with that? Talking swords were awesome!

"Agnes, calm yourself," Wardes spoke in return. Undyne just folded her arms. Had to wait for them to lower their weapons. Lot of good the stick the guy had would do. "And… Sir Undyne, please understand that the idea of the princess sending you alone is… difficult."

"He is right," Agnes spoke. She brushed the cape off of her shoulder. Why? Undyne had no idea. But it did look pretty cool at least! Green was a cool color. "The Princess would not risk something as dangerous and sensitive as this manner with… a stranger with stranger appearances!" Okay, now she was being rude on purpose.

"Okay, first off," Undyne held out a finger, letting the webbing between them stretch. The humans stiffened at her raised hand. "Princess _and_ Louise sent me, they sure as hell weren't catchin' up as fast as I did."

And that was the truth. These humans were weak, if the few fights she had were any clue. No way they could survive her running speed. Least Papyrus couldn't, not without Sans helping to put him back together again.

"Second off, the princess told me you two were gonna be difficult. Guess, I didn't figure how much." She reached into the back of her jeans as she spoke, keeping her good eye on the pair of weapons on her. Well, one weapon, one stick. Treat it like a weapon, she guessed.

Still, seeing how the two were acting, the princess insisting on another letter made a lot more sense now. Typical rulers, with all that logic and stuff.

"Here, take a read," she stated as she handed out the letter. Agnes almost ripped it from her hand. Guess that was one way to show eagerness, but seriously rude. She could've at least asked.

"Hmm, right seal," the woman responded, even as she tore the wax and unfolded the pages. Her eyes scanned over the words quickly. Whatever they were, the made the brows on Agne's head get a lot closer together. It was fun to watch, for Undyne at least. "Princess…" the woman seethed out the words as her eyes shut. Guess she didn't like the fine print.

"What did it say?" The blue magician asked. Seriously, he was one step away from some game character. "Is she speaking the truth?"

"Yes… she is…" The woman relented, making a side of Undyne's mouth pull out her fangs. It felt good to be right. "The princess has _merely_ left herself with _another_ monster in her employ." Oh yeah, guess Muffet was in the letter.

"You don't need ta worry about Muffet," Undyne calmed the human. If she was like the punk, and she sounded like it, screaming would follow otherwise. "I told her to behave herself 'round the princess and the pinkette."

"Oh? And how did you guarantee _that?_ " the woman asked, her mouth grimacing like she bit a lemon.

Undyne's split like she set a record.

"Told her I'd break her legs." The humans blinked at her words. "Don't get me wrong. They're all my friends, cool as they are. But Muffet… she's an odd monster, bit of a loner." They could find out for themselves why.

"Well, fun as that sounds, the princess had enough confidence to both trust the guard with her safety and to lend you to our employ." Sir Wardes extended his and towards Undyne. His eyes never left her. "And it is fine to make your acquaintance."

"Same here," Undyne gripped his glove. Not too hard though, given how fragile the humans were. Still saw him grimace. "Gonna be great to see more of the surface!"

"Not that talk again." Undyne turned to the Agnes. Did all that woman do is complain? Not even Papyrus like spoiled sport, and he liked everyone! "The _very_ reason we did not wait for you was because the princess and I agreed this was _not_ a sight-seeing tour! This is a duty to the crown, not a pleasure excursion."

Oh yeah, she did mention that. Properly the reason the pinkette was so red.

"Now now, Agnes," Wardes followed. "I only wished to show Louise the lands I visit in my travels. It is important that a husband show his bride-to-be where _he_ will often be." That got a chuckle from Undyne.

Guy had a good heart at least. Better than just screaming all day long and whining about not being good enough. Then again, at least the punk tried everything. Then again, it didn't really matter. Humans were weird and she wasn't one of them, thankfully.

"So, what's the game plan?" Undyne asked. "Gonna hitch a ship and set sail? Swim the ocean maybe?" She'd like that last one, but humans probably couldn't take it. Something about drowning or stuff like that. Wimps.

"The ship departs in a two hour's time," The blue mage answered. "We opted for a midnight voyage, to avoid the curious eyes of the populous." Undyne had to screw her good eye at that one.

It was getting dark, but midnight? She knew the surface was weird, but in every book she read and show she watched midnight was supposed to be the middle of the night. It was _just_ starting to get dark, not even a star out! How was it going to be the middle of the night by then?

"Oh by the Founder," Agnes started before she went on. "This is _meant_ to be an _undocumented_ trip for us. The fewer citizen that see us, the fewer questions that are raised later." Well that made sense.

"Cool, awesome!" Undyne grinned, putting her hands to her hips. "Then I guess we're all set, huh?"

"Yes, yes, all set to drag a monster to a foreign kingdom to stop a war," Agnes rubbed off with a wave of her hand. Undyne was _seriously_ starting to second guess her first opinion of the girl. "Just another day for the nobles, I'm sure."

"Actually, I just had a thought," Wardes spoke with that his suave grin. Undyne was seriously starting to wonder if he should get it looked at. It hadn't changed since he showed up. Still better than the typical human expression. "Something… curious."

"Then speak up," Agnes demanded, even as she was heading back down the road. "We have to depart soon and don't have time to waste." Now her, _that_ Undyne could get behind. Staying on top of schedules like that.

"It's more of a question of action than words," the knight spoke up, readjusting the feathery cap on his head. Undyne knew a few mosnters in Snowdin that would love it. "Namely, I'm curious of your capabilities, Sir Undyne."

Now that got her good brow to rise.

"Sorry, what?" She asked, head tilting as her lips twisted the same. She felt a fang peak out again. "You wanna test how I fight or something?" A good brawl _sounded_ fun, but every time she usually did it, she got nothing but typical human expressions or angry yells.

She had just gotten through getting the other humans to stop gawking at Muffet with the same reaction, just after she got those _same_ humans to stop gawking at her. She was _not_ in the mood to have these two humans stare at her the same way.

Not without a good reason. This wasn't one.

"In a sense, yes." The Wardes guy shook his head back and forth. "But more as in… if we are to encounter anything unfortunate, I need to know _how_ your abilities are used at their best." Kay, made some sense, like the mages in an RPG.

Wouldn't put the white mage in front of the warrior. Then again, what was the blue mage again? Healing and fighting? Magic and fighting? Something?

"So not much of a fight, merely a demonstration of what you can do, if that would be possible." Undyne felt herself grin tighter, until her gums were drying in the wind.

She hated the human expression, but if someone was _literally_ asking for it.

"Her partner," Derflinger started speaking from her back. "If yer thinkin' 'bout goin' crazy on this guy, Ah'm thinkin' you should probably save that for-" Too late!

_BANG!BANG!BANG!BANGB!BANG!BANG!BANG!_

Undyne littered the man with spears.

He didn't flinch. Neither did Undyne. Agnes was staring with a face like the pinkette.

" _That's_ why I can do," Undyne spoke up, staring at the cage of spear around the blue mage. Blue spears around a blue man. It was funny, but it wasn't a pun. "I'm _made_ of magic, and spears are kinda _my_ thing."

Her hand unfolded enough to thumb the diaphysis of Asgore's lance behind her, feeling the red steel beneath her scales. Wardes still hadn't moved, but his eyes adjusted just enough to get a look.

"I can make spears, throw 'em, command 'em, and crazy crap you probably couldn't even imagine." Least humans couldn't imagine much, not with how these guys were still in the stone age. "So if ya need something torn up, just point at it, kay?

_BANG_

And the spears disappeared.

Wardes still didn't move as they fell away, though his eye remained trained on Undyne, unflinching and unblinking. Her good eye was on him as well, her arms folded again and staring with a toothy grin. Had to be friendly.

He was probably the first human, after the princess, to not put on that typical human expression at seeing her magic. Even if he was scared stiff, it was better than what she usually got.

"Most… impressive," the blue mage finally relented, smile still as suave as he could manage. If he had a long mustache, it would've been better. The thin beard just wasn't doing it for her. "I can see why Louise and the… princess has such a high opinion of you."

Now that got Undyne's grin to grow.

"If you two are _done_ yet," Agnes spoke up, getting Undyne to look at her. Geez, it really was getting dark. "We have to check in with the portmaster before the ship arrives, and we are _far_ from inconspicuous now."

Well, that was kind of a challenge for Undyne, seeing as she was a good foot taller than the shorty humans and blue, and scaled, and strong, and a fish. Yeah, it was the height most of all.

Still, the humans had a plan at least. At least they acted like they were in control.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

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	21. It's A Report On Sir Wales

"So then, for how long would you say the monsters have been trapped in the Underground?" Louise asked the question as she carried a pen and quill, writing the words she heard and spoke.

"Centuries, easily," her companion in the room spoke. A companion she would _never_ have entertained in even the most extreme of other situations.

But other situations did not involve Louise having to prepare herself for her role as an ambassador. If this was the worst she would have to deal with, she would treat it as she did the lessons of the Magic Academy.

"I dare to say _only_ the king and former queen were alive before we fell. Perhaps Fergersun may also know, but his mind has left with his luck, _Ahuhuhuhuhu~_ " And the laughter continued to make Louise's skin crawl.

She did not shy from her questioning though. This was a _rare_ opportunity, to be able to question a monster aside from Undyne about the nature of monsters.

Capable as her partner was, an unaccountably unrestrained, Louise knew her companion was… less focused on the workings of her people than Louise would like to know. Her mind was too often consumed with their culture and the world around them.

Muffet, on the other hand, appeared adapt at both the monster culture and the human culture, likely due to her extended time in their world. It was the logical conclusion Louise came to, at least. They had spoken in detail for some time now.

Just glancing down at the pages she had filled, easily a third of a thesis's worth of research, Louise was able to discern the territories within the Monster region, the relative population distribution within those regions, the types of monsters that lived there, and, of course, their favorite food.

Muffet was more than happy to discuss that particular facet of the monster culture.

"And from what I have heard, and more certainly by what I have _seen_ , the food we eat has changed _quite_ a bit… or bite, _Ahuhuhuhu~_ " And once more, food became the subject of the interview. Louise only let out quick breath of air as she penned the words.

They may not have been the highest point of her curiosity, but every detail was an important one if she was to be an ambassador to their people.

"When I was a fresh hatchling, clinging to stalagmites and peering at the homes, I could tell the feasts were… _bountiful_." Her arms extended like a blooming plant. A purple, poisonous, and thorny plant. "A nice collection of cinnamon bears, fruit-carrot cakes, meaty-bone chews, hero sandwiches, and _so_ much more.~"

Louise recognized exactly zero of those things, and the combination of what she did understand made for horrifying visuals. A hero turned into a snack, let alone a meaty covered piece of bone, was something akin to stories meant to frighten children, warning of monsters.

When a monster was the one telling the story, it took on a horrifying new tone.

"Now a days though, it does _appear_ as though the meals are more… mundane.~" It was difficult to tell a pout from a fanged spider, but Louise assumed the twisted expression the lavender arachnid was giving her was as close as it could get. "Milkshakes, paper-treats, it's truly an _unfortunate_ shame. The resources for a croissant are quite… _twisted_ , _Ahuhuhuhu~_ "

Now that one, Louise understood. She hated it all the same, even as she penned it down.

"Now dearie, may _I_ ask some questions?" Louise looked up at Muffet's inquiry, staring at the five eyes gazing back at her, eyes that blinked out of unison. It didn't help that that the spider was leaning over in her chair.

But it certainly didn't help that her pairs of arms were bent in unique questioning manners. Shrugging shoulders for one, chin grasping for another, and extended open chitinous hands for the last.

Not until Muffet did Louise understand the expression 'so horrifying you couldn't look away'.

"I… I am not against answering your inquires," Louise returned respectfully. Muffet had been that much for her, and it would be an insult to her family to not repay in kind. "However, I have many more questions to ask, as I still fail to believe I possess a firm understanding of your culture."

And it was important she knew all that she could. The succession of the king, for example, or the divide between the classes, the existence of species discrimination based upon ability or appearance, or alterations in currency between sections of the Underground. There was just so much to ask.

But the calm, short, and venomous grin of Muffet didn't change. Neither did her bent chitinous limbs.

"Sweet dearie, you've had _far_ more than a single turn" Muffet spoke, her multiple arms rising as she spoke. Her grin was there, sharp teeth on display, but it was so much more sub-par compared to the shark-like fixture of Undyne. "I believe I am due a few now, _Ahuhuhuhuhu~_."

Well it was true Louise had penned more to paper than she expected, and the number of questions she had posed far greater than one, let alone the fingers on her hands. It would be inappropriate to turn the discussion into an interrogation against the monster, especially one… dangerous.

"Very well," Louise responded, setting down the quill and ink. It needed time to dry regardless, or else it would run and ruin the paper. "Though for someone who has been… on the surface as long as you, I don't believe there's much I can answer."

"Oh, but there is,~" the monster continued with a toothy grin, her posture in the chair deplorable. It only became unnerving when Louise remembered it was likely necessary, given the placement of her many arms. "Because, _dearie_ , as much as I keep my eyes on the Surface world, there remains a great deal that manages to _fly_ from the web, _Ahuhuhuhu~!_ "

Louise bit her tongue as the giant purple spider giggled. It was difficult to tell if the wording was an intention of a pun, much Undyne and the deplorable sword, or if Muffet was simply proud of her heritage.

Either answer being a positive worried Louise _greatly_.

"Now, to my questions,~" Muffet's voice nearly sang as three of her digits procured ink, quill, and paper from the nearby table. Her other arms lifted and shifted a small rotund table in front of her, a surface to write on. In the span of seconds, she was ready.

The efficiency with which the spider was able to move the items was a captivating sight, even if it deserved its place more on the pages of a novel then before her noble eyes.

"Now where to _start_ ~?" Muffet asked as one of her long chitinous arms rested under chin, thin black fingers wrapping on her cheek. "Ah, I do believe that _pastries_ would be an excellent oeuvre, _Ahuhuhuhu~_ "

It was not an area Louise had much knowledge in, but if it was how the monster wished to waste her questions, she wouldn't be the one to correct her.

"Now then, when do you most prefer to eat your sweets~?" The question made Louise fumble with her thoughts.

"Uh…. Apologies but, I do not understand the question." Louise shook before she spoke again. There had to be a trick in there. Muffet was a spider monster, and how appropriate would it be for her to lay a trap.

"Oh, its quite a _simple_ question,~" the spider managed to return. "I am merely curious of your eating habits with regards to the _sweets_ and _pastries_ of your kingdom. They are _important questions_ for understanding the potential _customers_.~"

Louise composed herself quickly, knowing it would not fit her stature as a noble to play dumb to such a simple question. She was merely surprised the question was just that, simple.

"Well, my family and I prefer to eat sweets either during social gatherings or over tea. Social gatherings, such as galas for the area or business deals, tend to involve platters over simple dishes." She had her favorite as well, often colored pink and fluffy to touch.

"Oh~! Excellent _,~"_ the spider wrote with one hand as she made varying gestures with the others. "Then, during those _larger_ gatherings, would you say the sweets have a _theme?~_ Perhaps a _trend_ or _trail_ they tended to follow?~" The noble thought of the question for a moment.

"Not usually, no," she returned honestly. At the very least she couldn't think of a common element between the gatherings and the treats. "More often they are merely made to what the coming guests would prefer, such as chocolates for Germanian visitors." The cows tended to like their chocolate.

"Good, _very_ good, _Ahuhuhuhuhu~"_ The laughter was unnecessary, but Louise felt nothing odd or invasive from the questions. "Now, how did your siblings _feel_ about sweets. The… _familial_ trait, is what I am looking for." A question complimented by the out of sync blink of five black eyes.

"They… have a preference, each of them," Louise answered honestly. "My father, eldest sister and I prefer our sweets to be sweeter, while my remaining sister and mother prefer more tart treats. Though we all are careful about eating too many."

It was bad form for a noble woman to indulge too frequently on treats. It made for an obscene appearance. And truly, Louise was honestly surprised. It was something she, admittedly, felt too often around the monsters.

The questions she was being asked were hardly anything that felt malicious, let alone venomous. They were much akin to the ones that the suitors and business partners posed to her father at dinner parties and conventions, seemingly innocuous questions regarding the state of the relevant affairs.

In this case, the monster simply seemed to wonder about how the sweets and pastries of the 'human' world compared to her own. With the memory of her desire to sell the confections, it made more sense.

"Hmmmm,~" the spider hummed as she placed a thin chitinous finger against her petite mouth. Her other limbs stayed busy scratching the buns in her hair, holding the paper down, or tapping the edge of the quill to her chin. "I wonder~~~, how does _Undyne_ feel about human food against _monster_ food?"

"Undyne?" Louise parroted unintentionally. "I apologize, but I don't believe I understand the question."

"Oh? It's quite simple _dearie,~_ " Muffet posed, her wicked smile returning. Undyne's was larger, but the spiders were immensely more sinister. "I am simply curious how Undyne, my fellow monsters of the Underground, _stomachs_ the consumption of your human food."

"I… believe with great gusto," Louise spoke with a small shake of her head. Her mind rattled itself for a clear instance of when she minded how the monster ate, but could only recall her displeasure for the manners she _lacked_ while eating. "If by counting, I believe she consumed the meals of three men in one sitting, and did so consistently."

It was hard for her to forget the several steaks and entire meals she had consumed so quickly. Let alone the horrendous manners to which they were consumed.

" _Ahuhuhuhu~_ , that does _sound_ like Undyne. She's always lacked manners, unlike you _dearie_." Though there was a compliment hidden in the words, it was just as easy to hear the insult in the words. "In truth, it _is_ rather humorous. One _so_ skilled as her, yet lacking the manners of the royalty.~"

"Royalty? Though I familiar with Undyne's previous occupation as the Royal Guard Captain, even the guards here lack the poise of the majesty." The very idea of Undyne acting even a sliver like Princess Henrietta was disturbing. Any more than her acting like the monster.

The puns were far enough.

"Am I the subject of conversation?" Louise twisted her head fast enough create a draft with her mane.

In the doorway, peaking in like the regal stowaway that she was, was Princess Henrietta.

"Your highness!" Louise rose as the princess entered, already mid-bow by the time her legs were straight. "I apologize, I had no idea you were coming this early, or else I would-"

"It is quite alright, Louise," Princess Henrietta waved her off, the same gentle smile across her features. A smile that contrasted harshly with Muffet's own malicious grin. "My duties with the court ended early, so I decided to spend the remaining time here. After all, I doubt I am the only one with curiosities about the Kingdom of Monsters."

"And what a _delectable_ treat it is,~" Muffet cooed with joy, two of her three pairs of arms clapping in response. Even her subdued smile was sharp and clear. "We were just discussing the _oddities_ between Louise and my fellow monster, _Ahuhuhuhu~_ " Louise missed the joke, to her own unspoken joy.

"Oddities?" The Princess repeated, settling herself into the most appropriate chair in the room. With her gown she could have made the simple stool look regal. "Though I am aware of the quirks with Undyne, I am unsure what you mean by oddities."

"Her penchant for the _human_ food, for starters,~" Muffet's disrespectful voice answered. Louise kept her own, for fear of interrupting Princess Henrietta's conversation. "Human food is simply too… _solid_ for my tastes. I far prefer the _sweet_ and _disappearing_ treats that are monster cuisine, _Ahuhuhuhu~_ " Louise could tell the Princess didn't follow. No fault was deserved.

"Apparently, your highness, food backed in the Underground disappears, for lack of a better term, once consumed." Louise beat across her borrowed desk for the paper that was appropriate to the conversation. "We suffer no ill effects from consuming them, but monsters may find consuming human food difficult. In the very least, Muffet has."

"I see. And you say that Undyne doesn't share this quirk?" The Princess turned her attention from Louise to Muffet as she spoke. "I can only assume it is to her bold and forceful behavior, as I have a difficult time believing she'd concede any challenge given to her."

And once more, Princess Henrietta proved her wisdom through her words.

"You know her _so well_ , your highness,~" Muffet's limbs outstretched as she spoke, creating the illusory flower as before, just as poisonous to the touch. Nearly enough by sight alone. "Though to be fair, she isn't one to… _spin a web_ of lies, _Ahuhuhuhu~_ "

"True, I have very little confidence in the idea of Undyne attempting to _swim_ against the stream." And there was the pun that Louise loathed to hear. "Much like her lances she loves to use, her words and actions appear to be _straight and true._ " And even more to come.

"O-Oh my,~" Muffet spoke, her voice noticeably breaking. Louise had no reason to wonder why, not when she knew the answer. "Well, sweet _dearie_ , Undyne is certainly an oddity, by the standards of royalty _or_ us common folk."

"Truly?" Henrietta looked with a curious smile on her face. Curious, as it Louise had only seen such an expression before poor decisions were made by children. "Are you to say that she is the only _fish in the sea?_ "

Her partner, her familiar, had corrupted the Princess of Tristian. It was a treasonous act.

Even Muffet floundered for a response, her limbs acting like loose tree limbs caught in a mild breeze. Louise could blame the monster for hardly a moment. Her own face was hidden in her hands.

"Oh please, you two exaggerate your annoyance too far," the princess giggled as she spoke. Clearly her words and emotions did not match, though Louise was not one to question the monarchy. "And if it is alright to ask, I am curious about Undyne as well. With respect Muffet, Undyne is quite the unique character."

"No insult at _all_ , your majesty~" Muffet easily recuperated herself. That was the acumen of a well-versed businessman. "And in truth I do not mind. I suspect it will _unravel_ quite a few questions I have as well, _Ahuhuhuhu~"_

Louise took a slow breath to calm her heart and mind. Nothing was happening the way she thought it would, at least as far as she could suspect the interactions between a monster from a hidden kingdom and her liege.

"And, to show the _virtue_ of my words, allow me to begin by stating the _oddity_ that is Undyne's induction into the Royal Guard.~" Louise watched as Muffet slowly wove each over fingers and arms together, as if she were watching a thin scarf weave itself. The out-of-unison blinking eyes did not help. "In fact, the _true_ oddity of Undyne is her young age~."

"It is odd?" Louise asked the monster, stomaching the roll in her gut as the monster's eyes looked out her out of synch, the gray and red orbs. "I… suspected it was odd, but was not sure if it was odd in your culture."

"Of course it is odd,~" Muffet spoke, two of her six arms extending as she spoke. "It is always and oddity for a _child_ to take _arms_ with the royal guard, _Ahuhuhuhu~_ " Louise felt her brow quirk. That was odd.

"Truly? So young?" Princess Henrietta asked, a glove hand covering her mouth. A practiced appearance of shock. "It is normal for the children of nobles to be inducted into courts, through their parents' name, but so high a post is quite abnormal."

"Oh _dearie_ , she wasn't the captain just yet,~" Muffet pointed and twisted her arm at the princess as she spoke. Louise was careful not to speak out of turn, as it would upset Princess Henrietta. "Though she was being given _lessons_ by the king."

Now that was odd.

"Personal lessons from… King Asgore?" Louse recalled the name of the monster king, one that caused Undyne to mourn for nearly a week. It was hardly something she could forget. "I… I must admit I suspected, but I thought such lessons came after she was given her post." And the praise was no different than that of the Plebeians to Princess Henrietta.

How could you not feel anything but love for a Princess so royal and nigh divine.

" _Indeed dearie_ ,~" Muffet spoke with clear joy through her venomous grin. "Asgore, sweet and strong as our king was, _personally_ taught Undyne." And as she began to list the many things the king gifted his captain, Muffet's arms rose to match them. "He taught her to fight, to play, to cook, to grow, to speak, to protect, and even to love."

"He sounds like a… truly just king," the Princess spoke softly, though clear enough for Louise to hear. "And Undyne had… no family in the royal court?"

"Our kingdom is not as… _expansive_ as yours," Muffet returned kindly. "Undyne was no different than myself, a monster in the Underground helping anywhere that she could. Asgore merely saw her potential, and asked for her to help."

Truly a wise king, to see the strength of the monster that was Undyne.

"Hmm… how familiar,"

"Oh? Oh!" Muffet slowly rolled her head as she spoke, stopping when Louise saw the metaphorical candle light inside her large purple head. "You must be referring to that _woman_ next to you… _Agnes_ , correct?"

Agnes, the Musketeer? Louise was familiar with her as well, only because she was the shadow the princess, the guardian that was supposed to keep her safe. A trusted confidant, much like she thought Undyne would be to her.

How could the two possibly be similar?

"Yes, her," Princess Henrietta confirmed. "She was saved from a nearby village at a young age, and cared for through the Musketeers. When asked whom I would want as a ward, I chose her, because she was honest to me even when others were not."

Louise had no memory of what the incident could be. The coy smile, venomous and likely hiding its poison, showed that Muffet thought much the same.

"How _lovely_ ,~" The spider spoke pointedly. "I suppose that old expression is true. What was it now? Oh!~ The more things change, the more they stay the same, _Ahuhuhuhuhu~"_

Though Muffet's chuckling was far louder, the soft giggling of the princess was impossible for Louise to ignore. So was the sight of the two getting along so… swimmingly.

It was just another reminder to her of Princess Henrietta's impossible high pedestal. One rightfully earned.

"Although~" Muffet began, her fingers slowly wrapping across her chin, the fingers of three different hands. "With those little tidbits of Undyne now out in the open, perhaps now you may be willing to… _indulge_ me with some discussion about _your_ savory treats, your highness?~"

"Sweets?" Princess Henrietta parroted. "As in pastries and the sort?" The affirmative nod from the bun-headed spider was the simple answer. "I have no difficulties speaking of such things. What would you wish to know?"

"Oh _simple_ details,~" She answered coyly, as Louise imagined only a spider would. "Curiosities about the _habits_ around them. Little details that seem _so_ innocent, at first, _Ahuhuhuhuhu~_ " Such words and method of speaking would earn the prison and shackles for most others.

But the soft smile and compliant posture of the Princess showed that there was no harm done, at least in her eyes. For Louise, she saw Muffet attempting to burn down the kingdom.

"Well I don't suppose I mind. And as long as you believe the trade is equal, I will hardly disagree." Louise had no complaints either. Nothing that was so major she would risk correcting the princess.

" _Excellent_ ,~" Muffet responded, hands playing with her parchment the same way they had before she interviewed Louise, the brief and few questions before Princess Henrietta joined them. "Now, to start, where do you believe you consume the _most_ sweets?~"

And the questions continued such as before. Questions that Louise listened to, as well as the answers her liege gave. They were simple questions and answers, the kind of question that Louise often felt were innocuous with business inclined individuals.

It was busy work, for sure, and work that would be expected of her when she became the ambassador for Tristian to the monsters. Knowledge of their people and the comparisons thereto her own. It was important to know.

However, there was something else she had to do.

Something that involved the pocket of her pouch and years of study.

"If I may, your majesty," Louise spoke up as she stood, seeing the easy grin on her liege's face falter at her words. She steeled herself, as Undyne would in the face of troubles. "I must commit to my studies today, or else I will fall behind in my lessons."

"Of course, Louise," Henrietta returned, perfect smile framed by perfect lavender hair. "You were always astute in your studies, and I will not be the one to interfere with your impeccable record." A record of fine scores by low practical.

But that was something Louise was determined to change.

"Thank you, your… Henrietta," Louise spoke as Undyne had, speaking to a friend. It was small, but she knew small things made large differences. "I will be sure to make you proud."

The blooming smile from the already perfect grin told Louise she had received fine payment for her gamble.

"That you will Louise. I have no doubt."

She smiled once more as she stood from the table, ignoring the pointed glare of five black eyes on her. The monster was of minimal concern to her, next to Princess Henrietta.

Her feet made quick work of the room, easily placing herself in the grand hall of the castle. She knew right where to go, the only place that she could effectively go in the Tristian Royal Castle to do what she needed.

Louise needed solitude, peace, and vacancy of the prying eyes of the other nobility. So, she was going to the back garden.

She had to go to where she and Princess Henrietta played as children.

A part of her told herself that it was sacrilege to ruin the memory of the place. The last area she and the princess could act as children, and then replacing it with the training of her magic. Even as the soles of her shoes clicked along the cobblestone, she could imagine the princess's distress at the idea.

But just as quickly, Undyne told her it was okay.

Her familiar, and partner, telling her how the more she practiced and trained, the better she would be. And that anyone who didn't want her to improve wasn't looking for her best. The same monster that had jumped into hellfire for fun.

The princess had asked Louise to improve and impress, and she knew she would.

Her feet moved from stone to dirt, walking off the pathway and open hall, turning into the small forest of the royal court. Already she could hear the sounds of nature, the birds in the trees and the wind sweeping throughout.

It was a peaceful sound, the sound that she had seen Undyne listening to intently in days past. It was what the monster did often on the rooftop at night, or while Louise was embroiled in her studies.

It only made sense that she copy her familiar, who had the strength to impress kings as a child.

Louise took out her wand, standing in the field free of any passerby or obstacles. Though her magic was not as volatile or dangerous as it once was, thanks to the words of a sword, ironically, it was still hardly something she would practice in the eyes of anyone else.

Another slow breath left her lips, focusing her mind as she calmed her heart. Derflinger spoke often of the need to see the magic inside of her, to draw out what was akin to her soul, not just a part of the world around her.

It was her magic to command, and she had ton control herself to control it.

And, like the spark of a fire's ember, her wand crackled to life.

She grinned at the tip of it, smiling at the success of years of trails and determination. She had pulled through. And if she could succeed her, then she knew Undyne would succeed as well.

Everything would be okay.

[break]

Everything was awful!

"Whoa!" Undyne yelled again as a _massive_ ball of steel shot past their ship. Again. "Why're they still _firin'_ at us!?" She yelled as the ship they were in sailed through the air probably as fast as she could run, or a bit slower.

"Because they have not hit us yet!" Agnes yelled back, clutching at the wooden guard rail that surrounded the ship. "And I suspect they won't stop until they do!" Undyne wanted to scream.

So, she did.

"Then can we hurry up and _shoot back!?_ " It wasn't the first time she yelled the question. Until she got an answer she liked, it wouldn't be the last.

"Because this is a _merchant_ ship! There are no munitions _on board!_ " And wouldn't you know it, Undyne didn't like the answer.

This was _not_ how she wanted to be on flying ship. Really, if asked yesterday, the monster was sure there was no way you could make a trip in a flying ship lame. But that illusion was quick to shatter.

It would've been awesome, really, if they were on the water. If the ship sank, she could swim and take out the idiots who tried to hurt them. Probably time herself on it too.

Unfortunately, they weren't on the sea. They were in the sky.

They were 'sailing' hundreds of feet in the air, with a sail, set of propellers, and the _Angel knew_ how much magic churning out beneath the hull. Their ship was literally sailing on the air.

It was awesome, at first. It was hard to say _anything_ was bad when she was literally on top of the world! At least it felt like it.

But 'at first' ended when the pirates showed up.

Now Undyne was just _pissed_.

She was pissed because when they had taken off, into the air, she was told to stay away from the edges, basically ruining the chance to enjoy the scenery. She got even more pissed when they started flying over the sea, and for hours, all she could see was just the dark water over a dark sky. All she had gotten was a closer view of the stars, something she had back at the school with the pinkette.

Undyne got even _more_ _pissed_ when the freaking other ships started showing up. Showing up out of nowhere like they had risen from the oceans. It would've been awesome, too, actually. If they were friendly.

But after a volley of cannonballs and enough metal in them to give Undyne a workout lifting them, she knew that feeling pissed and angry was the appropriate response.

It only got _worse_ when Wardes told her she couldn't fire back.

"Are ya _sure_ I can't throw a few spears at them!?" Undyne yelled her loudest, even as her webbed hands dug into the wood frame of the ship. She had to, when it banked right to avoid more of the flying metal balls.

She could swim, but she couldn't fly.

"For the same reason I cannot fly on my griffon, you cannot use your magic!" Wardes had shouted back. Undyne just _wished_ that feathery hat on his head would get ripped off by the wind. At least then she could feel better about his pompous attitude! "We would risk exposing ourselves as agents of Tristian, and likely plunge the already unstable country into total war!"

And she hated that logic! The hell was wrong with the humans on the surface that fighting back was the same as war! Even freaking _Asgore_ would fight back!

"GAH!" Undyne yelled again, in time for another ball of steel to whip past her head. She felt it against her hair it was so close! "Why haven't they run out of those things yet?!" She wanted a straight answer.

"They don't have passengers! So, they likely have their hulls full of them!" That was too straight!

"This is _so stupid!_ " Undyne didn't care if the rest of the Underground could hear her from here. This was the epitome of stupid. Stupid was the only way to describe it. How else could you take something as awesome as a flying ship battle and make it lame?!

Oh yeah, like this!

"We need to board them!" Wardes yelled from somewhere behind Undyne. She couldn't see out of her patched eye. "Their munitions would mean nothing then!" Now, _that_ was a plan that Undyne could agree to.

"I agree!" And even Agnes was on board, sort of. "But how?!"

"BRACE YOURSELVES!" The cry of the ship's captain was all the warning Undyne got before she grabbed the wooden railing.

**BANG**

And the ship was rocked, hard.

"GAH YAH!" She yelled at, the wood splintering under her clenched fists. Good thing it was thick or she'd be holding planks right now! Didn't help that her feet were leaving the deck every time the ship banked.

The monster twisted her head, hard, looking through the spinning locks of her hair to see how her human companions were doing.

She had just enough time to see Agnes rush past her, going overboard. Her webbed hand reached out and grabbed the human in the same moments her eye caught her.

Unfortunately, that was enough to send her overboard as well.

"PARTNER!" Derflinger yelled from her back, even as Undyne felt her body flip the guardrail and twist herself to the outside hull of the flying ship. Her body slammed into the wood, like hitting the trees in the woods, all the while she held the human musketeer in her other hand.

"This _blows!_ " Undyne yelled, hanging from the edge of the ship. One hand holding a human, the other grasping splintered wood, and probably thousands of feet of open air between them and the surface.

Undyne couldn't believe it, but there was such thing as being too high above ground.

"Sir Undyne!" Said monster looked up to see Wardes looking over the railing, a hand on his feathery cap and a worried look around his thin beard. Well _that_ was reassuring at least! "Hold! I have you!"

In the same breath, he grabbed her arm, pulling back on her as well. She felt herself move, like half an inch. Figures the human wouldn't be strong enough to pull her _and_ the other human up.

And that just made this situation _so much better_. She could _drown_ Sans in her sarcasm.

Still, they were dead in the… air if she didn't do something. And she wasn't the kind of monster to do nothing when something had to be done. She couldn't call herself a monster if that was the case!

"Here!" she yelled up, flexing her other arm in the same breath. Thankfully, Agnes weighed about as much as she looked. One boulder, maybe two. It was no trouble at all for Undyne to throw her back on board, even as she hung off the side of the flying ship.

She heard more than saw the musketeer hitting the deck, Wardes turning around to look at her. At least she didn't get blown off the other side. Still, the job wasn't done yet. Not while those balls of steel continued to fly by her.

"Let go!" Undyne yelled up at the human. He did so, immediately. At least he knew how to follow orders without the typical human expression. "Now wish me luck!" She made sure to flash a bright grin. Just like Asgore used to say, always smile before you take on a challenge.

"Luck for wh-" Undyne didn't hear the rest of the human's question.

Not when she was jumping off the side of the ship.

She felt the hull of the ship crack as she jumped away, but that wasn't her major concern. The _biggest_ concern right now, aside from the sword on her back or humans on the ship, was _landing_ on the invading ships.

At least she looked on target.

"Yer _crazy_ , ya know that?!" She heard Derf yell in the midst of their 'flight'. She didn't have a counter argument. "Yer the only partner I've ever had tha' 'ill think this'll work!"

"It'll work!" Undyne yelled back, even as the wind rushed past her face, making her good eye dry out and hair whip like her spears. "Cause I'm right on _target_!" And she knew she was right.

Seeing as the ship was getting closer to her, and not farther away. That was enough clue to take out Derflinger, the talking sword her best defense against the tricky humans. She could hear the rusty blade laugh. At least one of them was having a good time!

"Gonna land soon!" Derf yelled from her hand, not that she needed the heads up. "Might wanna think 'bout of what yer gonna do!" Oh, that she already.

"I'm gonna break every cannon they got and blow a hole in their hull!" She'd seen enough anime on the sea to know how that worked. Gave the humans plenty of time to abandon ship. Danger, yeah, but no death. It's the way Asgore would do it.

"Alright!" Derf yelled back, and not a moment too soon.

In the same span of time Undyne could make out the different planks of wood on the enemy ship, she felt her boots slam down. It was only just after that she realized something.

In essence, or in what Alphys would call a simile, she was a cannonball. And she had just hit down on the enemy ship.

The planks of wood underneath her rumbled just before cracking, shattering underneath the pressure of her body. She fell through, flailing, her scaly body landing over balls of steel in the darkness of the ship's hull.

Just enough time ran through her mind for her to realize that Wardes was right, seeing how much of the ammunition there was. Just after that, she was able to look up with her good eye, through the hole in the ceiling.

It let her see a couple of humans looking down at her, drawing out those pistols.

"Crap!" Undyne yelled out, swinging Derflinger up.

_Twang-Twang_

The blade hit two bullets, letting them shoot off to wherever in the cabin. That wasn't her problem. The problem was right now, there were more humans with more guns up above her, and they 'probably' knew she was here now.

Guess that meant it was time for a fight.

"Alright!" Undyne yelled out, reaching behind her back and pulling out Asgore's Lance. She was gonna need both if these humans were supposed to survive, and she got away.

Her boots were on weak ground, or at least unstable, and it wasn't luck the wood of the ship was going to be like the rocks in Waterfall. She had to be careful, unfortunately. But fortunately, that meant the humans had to be to.

Undyne was having a hard time telling if that made this a win-win or lose-lose situation. Guess there was no telling until the fighting _really_ started.

She jumped off the cannonballs, flying through the hole in the ship she'd made and landing back on the deck. Even with just one good eye, she could see probably half a dozen of those long cannons and twice as many humans around them. At least she had a good number to work with.

"What is that!?" One of the humans screamed. She was getting used to that.

"A demon! A demon of the sea flying in the air!" A demon? Seriously? At least they could've called her an angel.

"Slay her! Kill the demon!" And that was that.

"Give it yer best shot!" Undyne yelled back, swinging _Asgore's Lance_ in front of her and holing Derf high above her. Give him a whole view of the ship. "It'll be the last thing ya ever do!"

And the humans started getting out their swords. Thick scimitars by the looks of it, like those swords form the desert shows. She thought those were just for show. Then again, if someone was going to use them, it had to be pirates.

She grinned, widely at them. It usually got the humans to stop fighting, or at least look dumb. That would be enough to get them off the ship without hurting them, probably.

Then again, seeing as they turned what could have been a kickass flight into a terror spiral straight out of Tsunderplane's nightmare, she wasn't keen on forgiveness right now. Sides, she had to keep track of all the humans.

The ones that were edging across the deck, the guys behind her that Derflinger had _better_ be keeping an eye on, and whoever the heck else was in the cabins, if the ship had one.

And Undyne could feel it. Probably wouldn't be as catastrophic or anime season ending awesome as she'd like, even if they were flying in a ship above the sea at night, but a fight _was_ coming. One of the humans would attack, she'd attack back, and the order would follow until they were all of the ship or surrendering to-

"HOLD!" A voice yelled behind her. Oddly enough, all the humans looked up and behind her at it. Guess that made it safe to do the same.

Turning around, Undyne's good eye caught what they were looking at. Better yet, who they were looking at.

He wasn't much to look at, at least not to Undyne. Then again, not many of the humans were. This guy looked short even standing on some higher platform. Didn't help that the blue coat he was wearing was practically dragging itself over the wood. Had some cool details to it though.

Problem was the mask the dude was wearing. It wasn't even a cool mask, like a helm with some lights or heavy metal. It was just some cheap plastic thing she'd seen the kids in Snowdin put on when they were trying to be one another. The easy stuff.

"You! Creature!" the dude pointed at her. Undyne felt the brow of her good eye rise. Creature huh? Guess it was close enough to monster. Like calling a human a monkey, she guessed. Maybe Alphys would laugh at that. "How-no, _why_ have you boarded us?"

Undyne felt her draw drop till her fangs were under her lips. Slack jawed didn't cut it. Then again, it was kind of hard to think of that question as _anything_ but unbelievable.

But it was stupid. _VERY_ stupid.

"Are you _kidding me?!_ " Undyne yelled back, stomping towards the dude as she spoke. The ship may have been big and cool, but her boot cracked the wood like the hole she had bore with her jump.

Rest of the humans didn't matter right now, not unless they were stupid enough to attack her. With how dumb their apparent leader was, it was a good bet.

"You're literally _firin'_ _cannonballs_ at us and you're wonderin' _why_ I'm here?!" Her arms swung out, the wind washing over her scales. Fastest wind she ever felt, but water was heavier, and thicker. "Are you _trying_ to act stupid?!"

"She insulted the captain!" One of the humans beside her yelled. At least they got that.

"Stop her! Get her!" Oh, they could try.

"HOLD!" Or not. The blue-coated masked dork of a captain yelled. "And explain. You… came from… that ship?" He pointed out the ship, probably in the sky behind her. There wasn't much else it could be this high, unless the human thought she got dropped off by a bird.

Considering their intelligence so _far_ , it was possible.

"Yeah, it's called jumping," Undyne spoke back. "Try it sometime, like off the ship if yer lookin' for something extreme." Actually, sounded fun, if she wasn't so sure that it was too high even for her.

Top to bottom of the Underground didn't have half the height they were at. She had to work her way to this, as Asgore would say. And at least the human looked a little wary now. Maybe that'd mean a fight.

"So… then you are an agent against the crown." Or not.

"A what?" Undyne asked, confusion flushing through her. Was this dumber human logic, because she was getting sick of human logic, especially without the pinkette here to make sense of it. Her lips twisted in confusion even.

"An agent against the crown," the short captain repeated. "A being, summoned or otherwise, made to ruin the crown of Albion."

Seriously?

"Seriously?" Undyne asked, her head twisting, but only a quarter as much as her lips. And that was a _snarl_. "You're serious? Yer really askin' if _I'm_ against the big guys when you're flyin' after people shootin' _giant steel balls_ at them!?"

It was getting _really_ hard to not throw a spear or ten at the guy. If he was a human worth half his already paltry weight in salt, he'd survive. The important ones.

"And for your broken record, no _I'm not!_ " She slammed the butt of _Asgore's Spear_ into the wood. It splintered and shattered the planks. Fragile as everything else the humans built.

Mad the humans back up, that's for sure. Undyne even felt Derf give a rusted chuckle in her hand.

"I'm here workin' for… a friend. In _fact,_ I'm looking ta _help_ the damn prince." Couldn't say too much, not with how important it was to Henrietta. Heck, even the pinkette was worried about it.

If Undyne was going to show her worth, it was going to be by sticking to their rules, no matter how messed up they were. They could sort out the semantics when they found the rest of the Underground.

"Help… him?" the man asked, arms falling to his sides. She couldn't read him, not with that mask on. An idle thought flowed through her head, if she could hit the mask off with a well-placed throw. She thought better of it. Might take the whole head off. "Why would a being such as yourself want to help the Prince of Albion?"

Well, that was at least a fair question. And the rest of the humans weren't attacking yet.

"Cause I made a promise to a friend of his. Several, actually." Undyne stood to her tallest. Until she did, she forgot how small most of the humans were. But even they were taller than the pipsqueak she was talking to. "Me and a couple of knights back on the ship you're shootin' at."

She thumbed towards the ship with Derf in hand. He didn't appear to mind, too much. And she was decently sure where it was at in the sky. They were both flying in the same direction at least.

"Knights…" the man spoke, softly. Undyne almost missed it, and probably missed a few other things the guy mentioned over the wind. "Knights of… Princess Henrietta?" Okay, that was freaky.

"Wait, you know her?" Undyne asked. How the heck did a freaking ship captain, a _violent_ ship captain, know about her? Maybe she wasn't top secret, but it was a hell of a guess, seeing as there was more than one place for humans like Agnes and Wardes to come from. "Did you get some kind of message or something?"

"Know her?" The masked in returned. Undyne was _sure_ she heard him chuckle, which was all kinds of weird, even by human standards. "I should hope so. We have seen each other many times, despite my young life."

Whoa, a princess was hanging out with what was basically a pirate? There was probably an anime like this, or at least one Undyne was sure she'd heard Alphys talk about before. But the name just didn't come to her. Sinman or something.

Didn't matter though, not as she watched the man reach up and take off his mask, her watching all the while.

And Undyne had to admit, the face behind the mask was kind of good looking. Again, by human standards. Blonde hair, blue eyes, and not a scar from chin to forehead.

Not a bad shape either. Strong chin, gaunt cheeks, and a heck of a smile on his face. Something impressive, considering how often Undyne had seen humans wear their typical human expression around her. It reminded her of the princess a little, actually.

Oh wait. No way.

"Hey partner," Derflinger spoke from Undyne's hand. "I'm thinkin' ya just made quick work of the job." And Undyne had to agree.

"I am Prince Wales of Albion," the ship 'captain' spoke. His teeth were showing as he grinned. "And I would be more than interested to hear why Henrietta has sent for you."

And Undyne knew she had a few questions of her own.

"Her partner, did we mess up here? Attacking a prince's ship?"

That was one of them.

[break]

"I am grateful you are well, your majesty," Agnes spoke to the prince on solid ground. Blessed and not being shot at solid ground. She spoke as she was bent over with an arm across her chest, the same way she bowed for Henrietta back in the castle.

Made sense to Undyne, seeing as they were both higher ups, just of different countries. Her good eye was on the prince, just as much as a short stack as she thought he was from different platforms on the ship. Didn't even push past her chest in height.

"And to you, Sir Agnes," the prince replied in a 'princely' way, Undyne guessed. Maybe the royal way would have been better to say. "And Sir Wardes! I am joyed to see you here!" looks like everyone knew everyone else.

"In return, your highness. And in return," the griffon knight dude spoke and bowed. Even tipped his feathery cap for the effort. It looked like something an anime character would do to Undyne. She knew Alphys would be so jealous when she was told about it later.

"I apologize once more for the bombardment." Yeah, the shooting was bad. Apologies were good though. "The former captain made many rounds to ships such as yours, and suddenly departing from his usual schedule would have raised questions in the eyes of spies."

There was a lot to unpack in that sentence.

"Okay, hold on," Undyne started, holding up a webbed finger. Good thing her good eye was on the good-looking prince, and not the stink-eye of Agnes. "I might have missed it, but it sounded like ya said you were pretending to be a pirate captain, as a cover."

"Indeed, I was," the prince agreed. Guess no room for beating the horse. "It was the only way to hide myself from the political enemies. Too many of my allies in Albion had connections to foreign states. It was too great a risk to remain behind, so I chose instead-"

"The pirate's life?" Undyne spoke up, teeth already showing to their fullest, matching her bright grin. Now _that_ song she knew. "Gotta say, I've been listenin' to human stories for a while, and that's a hell of a gamble to actually see."

"And my attendants concur with you, Sir Undyne," Wales spoke in return, finger brushing away the locks of his blond hair. He should probably get those cut, or just grow it out and put a band around, like Undyne did. "They begged me to consider other options, though they had difficulty naming even one."

Undyne felt Derflinger push out of his sheath, just a little bit. It was the usual amount he did before he started yammering. And knowing the blade, she knew he was about to say something made of solid gold.

"Guess ya could say not everyone was _onboard_ with the idea!" And she was right! Derf's rusted laughter was echoed by Undyne's own. _That_ was a good one.

And the proof of the pudding? Even the prince was laughing along with it.

"A fine jest! A fine one indeed," he pointed out to the magic sword on the monster's back, his smile bright and genuine. Undyne was starting to like this kid. "I would have to remember it for when I see Henrietta again. We both enjoy such mannered jokes."

"Yeah, no kidding," Undyne agreed. "She was practically torturin' Louise with them 'fore we left. Not that was tryin' to be a _royal pain_." And the laughter resumed in the three of them.

Undyne slapped her palms to the knees of her legs, feeling the wet jeans beneath them, even as she let the laughter run through her throat. Even with a good eye squinted shut, she could see the disgust on Agnes face, and the apathy on Wardes. Their lost.

"Oh, and you as well, Sir Undyne," Wales continued. Even the monster swore he wiped a tear from his eye. "You would make the tedious evenings of the royal hall so much livelier." If that was challenge, she'd take it. Heck, between the prince and the princess, it sounded fun!

She just had to drag the pinkette and Muffet on board and it'd be a night to remember. Maybe even get some of the spider's sweet treat, to really binge. It'd just mean she'd have to go all out for a work out the next morning. Like a Tuesday.

"Your highness, if we can skip to business," Wardes spoke up, walking ahead. "We were sent to collect a letter from you, from our princess and liege. One that would risk the unity with our allies." Like the Germanians, if Undyne remembered the term right. No big deal if she didn't.

"Ah yes, the letter." Wales returned grinning, yeah, but all somber like. Sort of the same look Asgore gave the flowers. Undyne didn't get it. "I keep it close to me, the only possession I value to keep while I run."

His hand lifted, patting the pocket of his too large jacket. Undyne nodded her head. Guess that explained why he didn't take the thing off. But not why he didn't just get a smaller one.

"Odd, isn't it?" the prince asked. "My kingdom is corrupt and the allies are turning the guns, yet here I am flying with pirates and hiding evidence of corruption, while claiming the high ground." That wasn't a funny joke, so the laughter was just… pathetic.

Sad, yeah, but also pathetic.

"You are doing more than protecting yourself," Undyne heard Agnes start. A quick glance and she could tell the human was angry about something. There was a fire in those eyes. "You are protecting my princess, your love, by staying alive without a trace of the powers you were grown and groomed to have."

Undyne had to admit, that was kind of impressive. Like her without magic. But wait if the guy was a noble, as the royalty were _supposed_ to be, then didn't he have that?

"Perhaps, but the guilt follows regardless," Wales continued on. There was a word for it. Undyne just couldn't put a fang on it. Probably something that Alphys would know. Maybe even Asgore, seeing as they smiled the same. "Though now, I am hoping it is nearly over."

He looked away from them, over the ocean they had landed by, on, or whatever the word for it was. Undyne just thought it was stupid that airships couldn't land on water.

Still, it made for a good sight. Great one in fact. Maybe her third or fourth favorite of the Surface so far.

It had no night sky, but a sun over the edge of the ocean, reflecting the sky like a mirror, was something amazing to see. The anime didn't do it justice, like at all.

Undyne could smell the sea, feel the air, and taste the water. It was like the best of all worlds, made even better seeing as they were on the surface. The wind across her scales was always a great feeling, and it seemed so much stronger next to the water. Again, probably a reason for that, but she didn't care, not really at least.

She just needed to worry about getting the prince home and getting the letter to the princess. Then she and the pinkette could go on across the rest of the world, looking for the Underground and gaining more help from more humans.

And heck, maybe they'd even be able to bring these humans along the way. Can't say no to at traveling party. Those RPG's she played had like five or six members in them! They were almost perfect for it.

Undyne could see it now, standing on the edge of the ocean and listening the waves, _of the surface_.

She was the party leader and warrior class, the pinkette was the mage, Muffet was the rouge, Agnes would make a great archer, and Wardes could even be the knight class! It was perfect.

Yeah, maybe not perfect as gold, but silver was still a good color. And Undyne knew it would help, a lot. And after this, it wasn't like the princess and prince team-up wouldn't be willing to help. Saving lost lovers tended to get good favors. If the monsters in Snowdin would bake her cake for finding their kids in the woods, she'd probably get something for saving a whole country from a war, maybe.

Then again, maybe she was over thinking this. The shake of her red mane and chuckle through sharp teeth was evidence enough. Her scales were wind-blasted and good eye tired. It had been a long day and night, with a heck of a lot more worry than she was ready for.

They just needed to get home.

"Now is good." Undyne heard Wardes say. No idea what he meant though. She turned around, looking at the feathery capped knight circle behind the prince.

_Shink_

And put his sword against Wale's neck.

 _The hell_?!

"Wardes!? What the _hell_ do ya think you're doin?!" Undyne screamed. _BANGBANBGBANGBANGBANG_ In the same breath she made several spears appear above her head, points aiming at Wardes skull.

 _Ktch-INK_ And from the sound of it, Agnes got that oversized gun ready as well. Not that it mattered, not really. Not until she got answers from the human.

"What am I doing?" the man asked back. His voice was _way_ too calm for Undyne's liking. It was just like those anime villains who were so confident they were in control they didn't take any effort. "I thought even a commoner and monster could tell that much."

Oh crap, was that what was happening?

"You're betraying Tristian," Agnes spoke behind Undyne. The monster _focused_ her good eye on Wardes. Him and the blade he had on Wales. "You would betray the crown and country? For what?" She was asking all the wrong questions.

"Yeah, answer that," Undyne returned. "But _first_ , how 'bout you let Wales go, huh? He's had a hard night, chasing us and pretending to be a be a pirate." She made sure to flash a bright smile again, to keep the prince calm.

He was just a kid, and kids loved it when she smiled. Obviously didn't work though, not with the knife at his throat. That was a pretty easy deal breaker. And man, this was going downhill _fast_.

"Well, truthfully, I would love to answer your questions." Wardes replied, smile still visible in the middle of his beard. Undyne found it so… annoying. She could even feel Derf shaking in her hands. "But, I have a schedule to keep. And ahead of it as I am, it would be a waste to spoil a good opportunity."

"A good opportunity for what?" Undyne found herself asking, even as she kept her lances, Derf, and _Asgore's Lance_ all lined up on the human. She didn't want to kill him, but she had a strong feeling she'd be forgiven.

"To get what I need, of course." And then he laughed, like a good joke had been cracked. Undyne didn't hear any puns, let alone an anime reference, so she knew that was jack. The man was just… wrong. Even between humans and monsters, he was just wrong.

But Undyne watched him, carefully, as his free hand snacked down Wale's coat, following it carefully. It was the same way Undyne thought water flowed over rocks. At least in terms of how it clung to it.

It even snaked its way into one of the pockets of the too-large jacket, disappearing out of sight. Undyne felt her tongue lap over her teeth. Nervous tick, and it was the first time she felt that on the surface.

Nervous, worried, anxious, and all the above. Now she knew what it meant to be balanced on a knife's edge. She didn't like it. At all.

And Undyne _really_ didn't like the piece of paper Wardes pulled out of the pocket. And she _really_ didn't like how the guy just pulled it back into his own jacket. That was theft if she ever saw it.

Worse than that, it was for the one thing they _needed_ to get.

"A bit of kindle for the fire, as one may say," Wardes spoke up from behind Wales. Undyne was itching to throw a lance or fifty at him. The longer this went on, the more seemed appropriate. "Enough to ensure a nice blaze."

"Alright, then let the prince go," Undyne spoke up. Her teeth gnashed together as she spoke. "Only chance you got of me not turning you into a pincushion." Actually, she might still do it. Probably.

Her webbed fingers were scrapping up and down _Asgore's Lance_ , each one ready to throw the red steel at the man. It'd work, and she knew it, but she had to be careful. Wales really didn't deserve it.

Undyne's good eye watched the traitor of a knight, his eyes moving over her and Agnes, probably looking for a way out. Undyne had too many spears, and Agnes had a gun. Those weren't good odds to run from.

Humans may not have been the smartest things in the world, not with Alphys walking around, but that kind of logic wasn't hard to see.

"Yes, I should let him go…" Wardes spoke from behind Wales. Undyne watched his hands wrap over the prince's shoulders. "It would be rude to royalty to wait on ceremony."

That was good, Undyne thought. At least it meant that something was going to happen. She just had to keep a good eye on the human. Thankfully, she had three, sort of.

She might have had a head full of red hair and enough spears to prepare the entirety of the Underground, but a traitor knight was holding a prince hostage, and that wasn't what a hero was supposed to wait on. She just had to keep him alive.

And she could do that. She just had to keep her good eye on Wardes, let Agnes worry about the prince, and use Derf when the time was-

_SHINK!_

"NO!" Undyne screamed the moment she saw the blade puncture through Wales body.

That was bad, _horribly bad_! And it also meant it was time to act, _now_.

Before the blade had stopped moving through the prince, she swung Derflinger forward, sending all the spears she had at Wardes. Even if just one hit, it'd be enough to do the human in.

_Bing-Bing-Bing_

Except none of them hit.

Undyne watched each one of her blue lances, one after the other, being deflected by the thin stick in Wardes hand, his other hand. His wand, if she remembered right.

Even with a good eye, she didn't even see what the heck it was that hit her lances. She just saw him wave his wand and her babies flew off into directions _so different_ than the ones she threw them in. The hell was that!?

"Partner! The prince!" Derf yelled from Undyne's hand, and she knew what he meant. The prince, slumping over on the blade that impaled him. _Very bad_.

"Murderer!" Agnes yelled beside her. **BANG** Followed right after by a gunshot. And Undyne would hate to admit it, but apparently Wardes wasn't fast enough for the bullets.

He jumped back, sword pulling out of Wales with the effort. It made the prince lurch forward, in a really disturbing way Undyne didn't like to see. More than that, she _hated_ the way he fell forwards, like he was shoved without a leg to stand on.

But she caught him.

She caught him and rolled him over until he was looking up at the sky and her. It let Undyne look down and see the spot of red on his shirt, growing the same way water did on towels in Waterfall. That was bad, _catastrophically bad._

"Hold on!" Undyne yelled at him, ripping away at the fabric on his body. Humans were fragile, really fragile, but she'd see enough anime to know that they could survive stuff like this. Sometimes. "I just gotta… gotta…" Remove the clothing then do… something.

Dammit, what?! It had to be something! She couldn't do nothing while the guy they were sent to save literally died in her arms! No was falling down on her watch!

"Partner! Burn tha' wound!" Derf yelled from the ground. Undyne looked at him, the rusted sword laying on the dirt. "Jus' do it! It'll keep the insides inside!" Right! Yeah! She could do that!

Because she had Asgore's Lance. And the big guy loved his fire.

Undyne ripped away the last of the fabric laying over the prince's body, showing the pale skin, red blood, and hole way to big and out of place. She got out Asgore's Lance with her other hand, holding the tip over the wound.

Oh, by the Angel, this had better work. This was already so much more intense than she was hoping for it to be, and all kinds of bad because of it. But she was _not_ going to disappoint Asgore, memory or not.

"Here we go," Undyne whispered, more for herself than anyone else. It was her first ti8me trying this.

And trying involved pushing as much of her magic as she could through Asgore's lance, letting the red steel fill itself with her magic. She felt it pull back, just the same way her spears would act for her. Good first start.

She gnawed on her lips, scales around her face cracking under the strength of her jaw, as she held the tips of the weapon over the wound on the prince. It _looked_ like it was getting hotter, but she had no idea how to tell.

Would it be a good idea to throw water on it? Maybe call down lightning? Say a prayer!? She had no idea!

_SHzzzzzzzz_

Then again, that sounded like something was burning. And she could smell it to.

And a closer look at the smoke coming out of the wound, and it was easy to tell where the burning was coming from. Undyne _almost_ let herself feel relieved. Almost. It wasn't time for that yet though. She had more to do.

"Good! Good!" Derf yelled with a rusted voice as well. "Now, jus' keep tha' there till the wound's red and the bleeding's stopped." Yeah, that she could do that, probably.

She just had to focus on the human, the human that was laying on the ground with eyes staring up and not making a sound as his skin was being melted. Undyne knew what it was like to be too hot, seeing as Alphys made her next in the Core, so doing nothing wasn't exactly normal. He should at least be squirming.

But then again, there wasn't much else she could do. Nothing much but listen to a magic blade about how to save someone from a stab wound. There was probably a joke there, but she didn't like it.

The bleeding did stop though, and Undyne pulled Asgore's lance away. It let her see the red smeared wound, covered now with some freakishly wrinkled red skin around it. It looked nasty.

There wasn't a lot of gory anime she and Alphys would watch. Not with her friend's stomach. But she knew it looked _like_ those kinds of wounds. Sort of. A lot of the heroes had them at least.

Undyne's free hand moved over the Wale's mouth, hovering just above it. If he was alive, then he should be breathing. And it was how a lot of people checked for life. It wasn't like a human could live without breathing. _That_ much she knew.

And a deep long sigh left her when she felt air across her webbing. _That_ was good.

"Wardes escaped." Agnes spoke up from behind her. Undyne turned around, just remembering the other human was here. Problem was, the other _other_ human wasn't. The one she really wanted to tear a new one, or tear off another.

 _That_ was bad. Undyne was right before. Everything was awful.

"Kay… now what?" Undyne asked the human. The blonde looked down at her, reloading the rifle without even glancing at it. Her head was shaking.

"Get him to the castle," Agnes returned. "An army is going to be coming now. We have to keep him safe."

It was about to get a whole lot worse.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

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	22. Beware Of The Man Who Makes Demands

Something was wrong. Louise could feel it.

It wasn't the same feeling she got when the other nobles stared at her, or the plebeians avoided her. It was a feeling that coiled in her gut, seemingly from no where. Nothing had been broken, no words had been spoken, and the only action was merely the casting of magic. Magic she had finally learned how to cast.

Yet the spells, odd as they were, taught by a sword no less, were nothing of the sort to alter her feeling in such a way. Spells of movement, of neutrality, of ceasing motion. Void Magic.

True, she had a similar feeling when the blade had first _explained_ the magic, and when she first began to try and cast it. Even then, it was in the midst of Undyne's despair, and her magic was perhaps a way to lift her from it. It was not the case then and it hardly seemed comparable now.

Recognizing even that she had felt something _similar_ didn't help her relieve it or understand it. It just kept churning in her got. All the long-haired Void user understood was that it was a bad feeling.

Unfortunately, she didn't have her companion to ask what it meant.

Perhaps Undyne may not have even been the best option to ask for such a thing, but Louise knew she could trust the monster to honest and forth coming with her. She would not mock her, slight her, or turn it into a question of sanity.

She knew Undyne, the monster captain and the enduring warrior, would help out anyway she could.

But she wasn't here now, which left the predicament the same.

Louise pocketed her wand into the folds of her cloak, rubbing her knuckles over her covered gut. It didn't ease nor increase the discomfort, and it couldn't be called a pain. It was simply something _wrong_. Wrong enough that she needed to do something about it.

Her feet were moving before she was fully aware of where she was going. She walked through the castle garden, past the high pillars of the elaborate halls, and past rooms and wings she had never ventured or even dared to explore.

Simply, Louise was walking in the hopes to ease the discomfort through motion. It did not help. It just left the short noble biting her lip, mind racing with the hopes of understanding why she was feeling this clearly alien feeling.

Perhaps… this was something she could ask Princess Henrietta about.

It would be extremely rude and presumptive of her to think that her highness was due to help her out, let alone hear her case, for any matter other than the security of the nation, especially while she was caught up in the need to save both Tristian and Albion from the foreign powers. Yet… there was no one else to ask, no one that Louise knew she could trust.

Louise ventured into the castle halls once more, moving aside for the servants that worked and bowing in respect to the nobles she passed. All did the same in kind. It was difficult to tell if it was truly from respect or merely an act due to her closeness with the Princess.

But in truth, it didn't matter at the moment. The coiling in Louise's gut was important, and she believed Princess Henrietta may be able to help her. If nothing else, perhaps her highness would… indulge her.

Even as she passed expensive suits of armor and elaborate works of art, the sense of guilt built itself in Louise. She had never, _simple never_ , asked another for help in such a way. It was an insult to both her standing as a noble _and_ as a member of the Valliere family.

That was not to add that she was also about to ask this of Princess Henrietta, the second most powerful noble in the whole of Tristian. To do so without payment or reason was unthinkable to any who possessed sense.

And yet, Louise kept walking, a hand to her stomach in hopes of soothing the coiling pressure. It did not.

She came to the familiar door of the princess's study quickly, the room she had been present in most the past few days. Louise had spoken to her frequently over said days, and the _giant purple spider_ that was Muffet was with her just as often.

Princess Henrietta was someone she knew she could speak to, if she was willing to listen. Muffet was someone she didn't want to utter a word to, even if she knew the spider would cling to the wall to do so.

Still, if it meant ridding herself of this feeling, then the risk would be worth it.

_Knock-Knock_

Her hand wrapped on the door, waiting for a response from the Princess, or founder forbid Muffet.

"Come in," came the reply of her highness. Not even the sound of her voice could quell the knotting sensation of her gut. She could only hope more chosen words would.

Louise entered, going into the familiar study she and Muffet had been in the day before, before the Princess joined them later. Now the roles were reversed, though doubtlessly for differing reasons.

She was pleased to see Princess Henrietta present and waiting for her, the elegant smile her highness was known for across her lips. She was sitting at her desk, papers ready and quill in her hand.

Unfortunately, sitting in a nearby chair with her limbs folded at many angles, the spider monster was still very much accounted for. Her grin was as venomous as her words sounded.

"Hello, _dearie~,_ " Muffet spoke in her sing-song voice. "It is grand to see you so soon~. With the speed you left before, I feared I was ruined to ever see you again, _Ahuhuhuhu~_." And her eyes blinked out of unison as she laughed her mocking laughter.

For better or worse, the spider didn't make the feeling knotting in Louise's gut any worse. But nor any different. It only kept her focused on why she was here.

"Your highness, I apologize if I am disturbing you." Half way through her apology, Princess Henrietta waved her hand.

"Please, don't apologize Louise," she spoke with the same grace she offered, purple hair waving as majestically as her hand. "You are always welcome to speak to me, and I believe Muffet feels the same with you."

Louise offered to spare a glance at the monster, grinning with small smile between a pair of sharp fangs. It was a not a sigh easy to her already twisted stomach. Still, it was not the reason she was here, the monster at least.

"Thank you, your highness." She began again.

"Henrietta, Louise. We _are_ friends." Of course, it was what her highness wanted.

"H-Henrietta," Louise tried _again._ She felt a blush roll up her cheeks as she spoke the name. It was beaten down not by her will, but by her twisting gut. "I actually… believe something is wrong."

It was amazing to Louise, even with a gut that began to feel as if it were home to something foreign, watching the peaceful and majestic image of the princess warp into one of immense concern.

"You aren't?" she asked even as she stood. "Were you wounded during your practice? Did someone attempt to harm you?" The questions that followed came as the princess moved about her table, swiftly approaching Louise. The pink-haired noble could only swallow as she shook her head.

"She appears quite well, _scrumptious_ even,~" Muffet spoke next. Louise had not seen the monster rise and approach. Like the abilities of the spider that the monster so perfectly encapsulated.

It made her almost jump when the spider was suddenly at her side, two of her six limbs stretching out towards her. Gangly things that looked like dark tree limbs clawing at the tower in the night. Louise felt the urge to bat them off. But she didn't.

"Pr-Henrietta… I think something is wrong, just… not with me." Louise was shaking her head even as she spoke the words. They seemed wrong, impossible even, but they were what her instincts were screaming at her to say.

And if Undyne was correct in anything with her wild attitude and brash nature, it was that instincts were there for a reason. They had served the monster well, so it would be an injustice to her partner to not do the same now.

"I don't know when _how_ it started. It just… felt like my stomach is tied in knots." Her fingers played through the fabric of her clothing, balling the material in her fists. Her mother would have slapped her, but she didn't know how else to describe it. The Princess would understand, hopefully.

"Louise…" her highness began. "Could it perhaps be… your monthly cycle?" Or perhaps not.

"N-No!" Louise shouted, probably louder than she wanted, or was respectable. Her face flushed hotly, enough to make it impossible tell what her skin from her hair was. The princess, and even the spider leaned back at her outburst. "No, no! I _assure_ you, it is not that!" She was well aware of her cycles, and this was well beyond that!

"Cycles?~" The monster asked from behind her. Louise saw two of her limbs scratching her chin as the spun in the air. The idea of them spinning webbing was stuck in her head. "Do you feel as if you are being _spun?~_ _Ahuhuhuhuhu~_ " Louise did not scowl at the monster.

She didn't have the comfort to show discomfort.

"It isn't that," Louise spoke again. "I just… I am not sure how to describe the feeling. It is only like… like if there were a storm coming and a bird sensed its approach." Louise scowled at herself as she spoke the words.

A bird? She was no avian, hardly one talented for anything much less flight. Perhaps it was the consequence of reading too much on the different species as a child with her sister. That, or simple desperation.

"I… I didn't come to you fr aid on the feeling itself, _not_ that I would be elated to receive such from you," Louise sputtered as she spoke, wondering how she could apologize to her highness once this was over. "I was hoping there may be some… news?" If felt ludicrous even to pose the question. Surely if there was any news, her highness would have shared in swiftly, not that she was indebted to.

"Oh, well… nothing has come through our couriers as of late," the princess answered, still looking unwell. Louise's mistake for daring to tell her highness of her illness. There would need to be a toll late for this. "But, if you are referring to Sir Undyne and Agnes, I don't believe we would receive word quite yet of their efforts."

Louise knew she was correct. It was a silly idea to even imagine they had reached the prince yet. More than that, she was already assuming Undyne even reached Sir Wardes and Agnes.

On the other hand, her partner had yet to fail in anything else she promised, from saving Siesta to recovering the Staff of Destruction, her king's trident.

"Perhaps you are feeling _antsy, dearie~,_ " Muffet spoke up. Louise furrowed her brow as the spider monster widened hers, all five of them. "I am sure this is the first time you have given Undyne some space~. Perhaps you are merely adjusting to her absence.~ Afterall, she certainly does love to do everything with a bit more _… zest, Ahuhuhuhu~_ " Of that, Louise could not disagree.

That could very well be it. It took a period of adjustment for the monster initially. It only made sense that their first long-term separation carried much the same grace period. Nerves and habits were hard to form and more difficult to break.

"She is right," Princess Henrietta added on. "I would dare to venture that you may also be ill used to training magic without a tutor. Or perhaps I should say, kindly as I can, magic that is producing an effect?" Her highness, kind and selfless as she was, was doing her utmost to not insult Louise. The noble could easily tell. But she wouldn't have minded even if she was, at least by her highness.

"Maybe…" she hummed out regardless. Neither were entirely wrong, perhaps. It was simply difficult to say they were correct while her stomach still flipped and twisted itself.

She leaned back, settling into a padded chair in the room. It molded to her form easily and swiftly, as all the fine furniture of the castle did.

"If it is true, and it likely is, then I just wish I knew of a way to ease my _mind_." Curing that would likely solve the issue with her stomach. If it was her nerves, at least. "Maybe some tea would assist me." Louise mused the idea, remembering the calm afternoons she spent with her sisters over a brew.

"An excellent idea!" She looked up to see a beaming expression on her highness's face. "Tea would be lovely right now. Wouldn't you agree, Muffet?" Louise was less thrilled to see the purple spider chuckling through her thin grin.

"Of course, I would~~" her voice continued to sing as she spoke. "Tea is _excellent_ with some sweets.~ It would be a _wonderful_ opportunity to see what drinks humans prefer, _Ahuhuhuhu~"_ " Louise failed to see the joke. Then again, she didn't have the mind to look.

"Wonderful," her highness spoke up. "Then allow me to- oh!" She stopped mid sentence.

"H-Henrietta?" Louise tripped over the princess's name, catching herself before she spoke. "Is something wrong?" It was the normal thing to ask when anyone stopped a sentence early.

More so when it was a member of the highest family looking down at their desk with a bemused expression. Something was there to be certain. Now Louise was curious what it was.

"Muffet," her highness began. "I believe there is a spider here for you." Louise lost all measurable value in her curiosity.

"Really?~~" The spider asked as she walked to the desk, thin legs carrying her with a surprising grace. The way her shadow black eyes sparkled down at the desk, however, removed any ounce of grace the monster had. "Truly it is!~ Hello _dearie~_." Muffet lowered one of her thin limbs to the table, lifting it swiftly afterwards.

With her focus on it, Louise was able to see the thin thread hanging from the chitinous member, ending at a dot that swayed in the air it was held up in.

Great, it really was a spider.

"Oh dear, sweetie _where_ have you been?~" Muffet whispered to the spider, held up to one of her eyes. Louise didn't care to find out which. "You must have worn out a _leg_ getting here." It was all a one-sided conversation to them.

Louise looked over at the princess, her highness waiting patiently with arms folded. That meant Louise could very well do the same.

"That far?~" Muffet continued. Her arms worked oddly as she 'listened' to the small _er_ spider. They moved from grasping her short chin to folding amongst each other or even wrapping on the desk top. Her highness didn't seem to mind. "Oh dear, that is _quite_ the web of contacts you have, _Ahuhuhuhu~"_

Louise shirked at the joke. It was a pun like Undyne or the dang sword would make. It certainly didn't help that her highness giggled lightly at it all the same. The spider, the large, purple, and darkly dressed one, didn't seem to notice or mind.

She simply let her head bob up and down, the smaller spider tangling on its web as it 'spoke' to its larger brethren, sister, or whatever term was appropriate. Brood sibling maybe. Louise didn't care about the specific terms.

"Oh… dear…" Not when words like that were spoken.

Though Louise knew Muffet for only a few short days, days filled willed terror and suspected deceit, she had heard the _giant monster_ of a spider speak frequently enough to understand what was common and ill common. It was common, for example, to hear the spider laugh gayly at the whispers of her "dearies".

It was not common for her to lose her smile from the same source.

"Muffet?" Princess Henrietta spoke. "Are you well? Pardon me for presuming, but… you appear pale." And true, she did, no matter how impossible it seemed. The journals that Louise had read in the library spoke of the chitinous shell of a spider, on how hard and durable their exterior was. Altering its color should have been impossible.

But the Princess was not wrong, currently or theoretically. Muffet, the purple chitinous spider, appeared far paler than before. That made Louise worry far more than before.

"Hmm?" the spider hummed, her fangs peaking from beyond her lips. "Oh, _oh_ , you must excuse me." Two of her six arms waved in dismissal, her others wrapping about her body as if she were a self-conscious maiden. "I have simply heard… _troubling_ news." Her voice wasn't singing. That only happened when Undyne embarrassed her…

"Is it something you may share?" The princess asked again. Her lineage showed in her words. "Perhaps it is something we can assist with, as a sign of good faith towards those plans you hoped to speak with me about." And the further she spoke, the wiser she appeared.

"Actually, your highness,~" Muffet began, voice still singing as she spoke. "I believe this is… important for you to know,~" The singing was there, but Louise didn't hear laughter.

Now for the first time, the feeling in her stomach had gotten worse.

"What is it?" Louise found herself asking out of turn. Perhaps it was something she should have waited for the princess to ask, but the twisting feeling in her gut pushed her to speak. And now she demanded an answer. "What happened?"

"It appears my dearies, have played _quite_ the game of telephone.~ And over the span of a day.~" That was a word that Undyne had used before. Louise still didn't know what it meant. Hopefully it didn't matter. "It appears that one of my _dearies_ , or a friend resting on a floating island, has seen something… interesting~" The lack of laughter pushed Louise closer to the edge than she would have liked.

"So far?" The princess spoke her question. "I mean no insult, but I find it rather hard to believe any form of animal, insect… or monster could travel so far so quickly." It was a fair point.

"Oh _princess_.~ Us spiders are _far_ more resourceful when it comes to sharing information.~" Louise cared little to nothing for the coy words. "Messages in the air, strings of web thrown to the wind, or perhaps even a spot of message to a friend far away.~"

As she spoke, her finger wrapped around the string holding up the smaller spider. It quickly ascended to her thin palm, walking about the dark chitinous surface. Louise lost track of the baby spider quickly.

She dared not the think how many other spiders were crawling over their larger kin at the current moment. There was more for her to focus on, in the least.

"Now, how do I say this _smoothl_ y?~" Muffet seemed to pose the question to herself, rubbing a couple of her hands over one of her black arms. Louise tried not to shudder, and the twisting in her gut helped.

"Perhaps a brief message would be best," the princess interjected. Wise as always. Even the monster nodded in agreement. If only Undyne was so accommodating.

"Very well~," the monster spoke. "It appears Sir Wardes has _betrayed_ Sir Undyne, Agnes, and the prince himself."

Louise felt all the tension in her gut explode.

" _WHAAATT?!"_ She shouted as she rose from the chair, stomping over to the monster. "How _DARE_ you make such a _vile_ accusation! Sir Wardes is my _fiancée_ and he-"

"Attempted to kill the prince shortly after Undyne saved him," Muffet returned, her eyes slit and focused. "Humility aside, _dearie_ , I am rather… perturbed by this information as well.~"

"Is it trustworthy?" Louise felt a pang of betrayal as the princess inquired about the information. Clearly it was false! "Acts of treason are no crime to accuse idly. Word of mouth, even by monster or spider, is hardly something to see as credible."

"Hold on~" Muffet _instructed_ the princess as she held up a chitinous arm. Louise was _determined_ to shatter it later, _after_ the spider was proven a liar. "My _sweetie_ says Sir Undyne saved the prince who was… oh? Dressed like a pirate to blend in with the sky brigands. Quite a clever prince, _Ahuhuhuhu~_ "

"This is _no laughing MATTER!_ " Louise shouted again, raising a hand at the monster. Be damned if she was a guest of her highness. These were high crimes she was threatening! "And who would believe such a _ludicrous_ story!?"

"I would, Louise." The knife in her back turned hard.

"Princess?" She asked, looking back at her fair haired royal. "With respect, you can't be serious? Sir Wardes betraying like that? After his highness was parading as a _pirate_?"

"The guise of a thief was one he often said he'd attempt to wear," the princess began to explain. Louise could not ignore the forlorn look in her eyes. The same way she could not ignore her highness balling and near ripping her own dress. "Hiding amongst thieves to avoid killers. It was the area they'd never look… That would not be something Muffet would chance to say."

"Of course not,~" the monster just _needed_ to interject, apparently. "Because now it means the three of them are alone in Albion without a way home. And, worst of all, a dark knight at their tails."

The very fact that those words were whispered by a giant spider leaning over with black chitinous limbs did nothing by pull Louise further and further into the pit of dread.

This was real then. Both her highness and Muffet agreed on it. That gave it a chance it was real.

And if it was… that left her fiancé, one of the most capable Griffon Knights in Tristian, against her familiar, one of the strongest monsters in the Underground.

"I need to find them," Louise spoke. The idea of the battle was too great to ignore. Death _would_ come if it occurred. "I-I need to find a transport quickly a-and depart."

"Louise, stay calm," her highness instructed. But at the moment, calm meant inaction. That did not sound wise to Louise.

"No, no," she shook her head, pink locks waving with the motion. "I-I need to go and _do_ something. If _Undyne_ is facing _Sir Wardes_ , if that is _true…_ " the idea was too horrifying to imagine.

One of them could die. She didn't want _either_ to die. Not until she knew the _truth_.

"Then we'll depart together," the princess spoke up. Louise looked at her. "I can have a transport arranged, and perhaps bring the remainders of the Musketeers with me." Yes, good, more the better. Perhaps they could deter the fight.

"Would you be swift enough?~" Muffet asked, however. Asked as one would ask if they wished to swim to be wet. "From the tales I've heard, Albion is _some distance_ away.~" Mockery was not something Louise could stand at the moment.

"Then what would you suggest, monster?" she poised the question, her patience lost. There was no reason to nurture it at the moment. "Run? Wait? Pray for the Founder to spin us across the world?" It was hard to imagine the blasphemy running off her lip until it had already flown out.

Thankfully, neither the princess nor the monster seemed to care.

"Hardly that~!" Muffet appeared insulted at least. Good, anything that worked. "I actually believe you may have a _grand_ method tucked away." Louise opened her mouth, ready to demand a clarification again.

But she stopped, namely, when the monster wrapped two of her black hands over the folds of her coat.

Right over her wand.

"My… magic?" Louise questioned. Surely that was not what the spider meant. However, the long grin of thin fangs and many eyes spoke otherwise.

"Your magic,~" she clarified and agreed. "The secret of the _surface_ , tucked away in a thin piece of wood.~ From what Vinny has showed me, you _human mages_ can be quiet resourceful with your magic, _Ahuhuhuhuhuhu~_ "

Louise swallowed at the idea. Her magic. Void magic. Was it possible travel quickly with it? Was it possible to help at all? Perhaps, no definitely, it could. It was what Derflinger had said, it was what the Founder had used.

There was no time to debate the ethics or wonders. They needed results. She needed Undyne.

* * *

There was no place to debate right or wrong here. They needed cover. She needed Louise.

Optimism was important to have, as Undyne had figured out early in life. Not just because it was awesome to have and smiling just _made_ her feel strong, but it tended to help others. And as the Royal Guard Captain, it was her job to help others.

It was why she was here, in some foreign kingdom, on the surface mind you, helping out a bunch of humans that were giving her wary eyes and nervous glances. Sure, they were weird, but they weren't mean. No the _mean_ humans were the ones she was worried about.

And they were the reason she was finding it so hard to smile, let alone grin.

"The army is approaching, swiftly," Wales spoke up. Undyne wasn't watching him. He sounded too nervous for her liking. "My scouts have said that they bring many men of the army. Not all, but many." Probably meant more than they had. Not hard when they were just three of a kind.

"Are your scouts to be trusted, your highness?" Agnes now. She sounded as stiff as before. At least now Undyne got _why_. "Is there any chance they may have given your position away? False information to lure us out?"

"I trust these men, Sir Agnes," the prince responded. Like a lighter, smaller, and dainty version of _Asgore_. "If they wished to see me captured or killed, they could have done so many times before you and Sir Undyne arrived." Just as smart as the big guy at least.

"Good enough," Agnes returned. "Then that means we do not have much time." Her boots clicked behind Undyne, no doubt walking up to get her attention. "I suggest we find a way into the kingdom's popular to look for supports who can hide his highness. They will know how to avoid the kingdom's military better than ourselves."

"Yeah, probably, but no way, they'll be able to fight as good as us," Undyne curled her lips at the idea, even as she spoke it. At least both of the humans looked about as happy at the words as she did.

"Do not _jest_ about such a thing!" Agnes fired back now. Undyne held up a hand. The human was determined, no doubt, but kind of in an overbearing way. Much better to see her in a fight than a talk. "Stating we are outnumbered is almost as grave an injustice as the betrayal of Sir Wardes!"

Okay, that was too far.

"Are you _seriously_ saying that a joke's as bad as what the guy did?!" Undyne yelled back. Her scaled arm whipped out, motioning towards the open field they had taken refuge from. "That _human_ tried to kill someone, like a freaking demon. I'm a monster, but I ain't no demon! Just figured you humans were above these kinds of tricks!"

"Now are _you_ to assume I am the _same_ as him?!" Agnes fired back. Didn't matter that she was all of two heads shorter and far weaker than Undyne, like Undyne knew she was. The human was still shouting like a peppy kid in Snowdin, who got coal for Christmas. "I have sworn my life and honor the throne of Tristian, to Princess Henrietta and her wishes! I will not _tarnish_ such a vow with such a deceitful act!"

Fine, fine, whatever, she was good to her word. Just didn't make any sense to Undyne at least, betraying someone at all. Monsters never did that, ever. But if one human did it, maybe others could too…

" _You_ , however, _Sir Undyne_ , have pledged your lance to a throne other than our fair kingdom." Undyne's good eye stared, _hard_ , at the half-pint of a human shouting at her. Maybe she had muscles under that armor, but the monster knew she had the human beat. "What is there baring you from taking such deceitful action? What assurance is there you have not already done so?" Was she serious here?!

"Cause I promised your princess and _my_ friend that I'd help them out!" Undyne shouted back. She didn't care if the humans gave her their usual dumb expression. She'd show every tooth in her jaw! Maybe she'd growl for good measure! "And in case ya missed it, _I'm_ the one who saved the prince from the guy _you_ brought with you!"

Undyne shoved one of her webbed fingers at the armored chest of the woman. If she pushed hard enough, she'd probably dent the steel. Everything humans made were fragile as dirt anyways.

"I did not _wish_ for Wardes to come!" Agnes yelled back. She beat Undyne's hand away, with both of her own. Points for actually keeping a stiff upper lip. Deductions for still being an _idiot!_ "His presence was recommended _by_ her highness, upon the idea that he was loyal to the kingdom his fiancée sworn allegiance to!" Oh yeah, the pinkette. Wait a minute…

"Are you calling the pinkette a _traitor_!?" Knowing that girl, something like that would probably hurt to hear, a lot. She was the kind of girl to cry at the idea of just not succeeding! "That punk's the only reason I'm tryin' so damn hard to help you out here! _Cause she asked me to!_ " And she poked Agnes armor again.

 _Poke-Poke-Crsh_. And, sure enough, she dented it. Right down the center.

The sound was enough to get the human to back off, backing up, with a hand to her chest plate. It dimpled where Undyne's scaled finger had pushed into. Pretty damn obvious where the damage was done.

Human stuff really was put together like junk. At least the junk Alphys used for her experiments and tools were durable.

"Enough." Undyne turned head to see the prince speaking up. And, honestly, he looked about as happy about this as she did. Maybe a good thing, probably. "None here could have predicted Sir Wardes… betrayal to his crown." He looked pretty depressed about saying that as well.

"… No, your highness." Undyne watched Agnes twist her head and look away. "It was completely unforeseen. Given his record to the crown… he was placed among some of the most highly recommended knights." Damn, really seemed like no one was happy about this.

"Yeah, I even thought he was okay," Undyne added on. "Though, to be fair, I just met the guy a couple of days ago at best. Figured that if he was the fiancée of the pinkette, he had to be good in someone's book."

" _That_ is the issue." The monster shook her head. The prince had a good voice when he raised it. "Though I do not belong to your kingdom… either of your kingdoms, I know well of Sir Wardes and his feats of success. He was a knight that many in my own army admired, seeking to emulate him on the field of battle, or high in the clouded skies."

Undyne got the impression he was a big shot, from the way everyone from the pinkette to the princess were talking about him, but really? That much? You'd think if someone was that big a deal it'd be kind of obvious they were playing the other side.

Then again, even if it was only for a few days, Undyne didn't' think he was that kind of freak either. The kind of freak to betray your teammates for… anything really.

"Sorry 'bout all that," Undyne spoke up first. "Really can't imagine what your feelin'. I just know I'm… not okay with this." And really, tat was the only way to say it.

Oh yeah, she was angry, but heroes saved their anger for when they were facing the guy responsible for it. Only losers got mad at their friends for no reason.

"It is forgiven," Agnes spoke up. "And I… too am sorry. This is not… I did not believe a trusted not of her highness would betray us in such a way… anyway." Well good on her.

"Excellent," Wales spoke up again. "Now, I believe we should make our next decision promptly. There is only so much we can do, and we don't have the time to think long on what." Guy actually had a point.

"Agreed, your highness." Agnes again. "We must find our way to safety, either in the company of loyal citizens or soldiers, send message to Princess Henrietta regarding the situation, and find equal means to prove your loyalty to Albion, before _Wardes_ can deceive the populace." And leave it to the only human she'd met with a speck of determination to lay it all out there.

Undyne felt a headache coming, and Alphys wasn't even trying to talk science mumbo-jumbo to her.

"That is a healthy amount to swallow." Great, even the noble prince was intimidated. Guess that just mean the monster had to stick up for them. "That is also not to mention that many believe me to be dead or having already abandoned my kingdom. I believe there are few who still believe in me… Henrietta aside." Man, Undyne's back was starting to kill her.

"Kinda hard to figure out what to focus on, eh partner?" Derflinger spoke with a rusted voice from Undyne's back. She shrugged at the sword's question. "But, if I'm talkin' serious, we're in tha' middle of a rock and a hard place. Heh, maybe better to say the pan and fire." Oh no, this was a lot worse than that.

This was a _heck_ of a lot worse than what she thought it'd be. Heck, according to the Princess and the pinkette, this was just supposed to be a pretty simple snatch-and-grab mission, like tag across the whole Underground. It sounded fun when she thought it like that.

But really, it wasn't, and Undyne knew it wasn't. This was no longer a recon or a simple pikc-up-and-go mission.

This was a full-on extraction mission. And actually, that sounded kind of fun.

But this wasn't fun. This was the bad kind of fun. The fun where everyone wanted to stop but the one guy in charge was having too much fun so he just kept going on and on and on. It was that kind of fun.

Undyne hated this _'fun'_.

"But hey, partner, if I'm gonna keep talkin' like this, maybe I can lend a word 'er two of good advice." Honestly, Undyne wanted a joke. _That_ was the kind of fun she wanted right now. But, then again, advice was also good. Derflinger was awesome, so maybe he had some awesome advice to boot.

"I'm up for it. What are you thinkin'?" Undyne looked over her shoulder with her good eye. Her fingers played with a few loose strands of her ponytail. Long as it was, hair kept getting caught over her face. Probably need to retie the bun soon.

"Well, stayin' here fer the long term ain't something anyone's willing to do." Probably, seeing as Undyne had had her fill of staying in one place. Not when all the Surface was out there to explore. "But messed up part is that Wardes fella takin' off with the letter. Plus, basically scarin' off the' pirates as well."

Oh yeah, those guys. Undyne had almost forgotten about them.

The guys who the prince was hanging out with, or defending, or both. They were out of there faster than Undyne had seen some of Asgore's fireballs fly. As soon as she had saved the prince, they had boarded into their ships and flown sky high.

She thought about knocking them out of it. A few good lances would've definitely done the trick, but the prince stopped her, saying something about she can't blame men in the face of death. Maybe not, but it certainly didn't make them worth remembering.

Wasn't worth remembering humans that didn't have a speck of self-respect or determination about them.

"One option ya got is stickin' 'round and fightin' the guy when he gets back, if he gets back." Yeah, that was an option, wasn't it? And it sounded good to Undyne as well. "He'll probably come pockin' 'bout here for the prince again. Best time ya got to surprise him this time." That sounded even better!

"No, that won't work." Undyne looked up and over at Prince Wales. He didn't look all that peppy anymore, not that Undyne could blame him. Life had just come down _hard_ on him. "Sir Wardes fled because he _feared_ your abilities, be it alone or in combination with Sir Agnes. If he returns, it will be with an army at his side. An army… I fear will be filled with defectors from my kingdom."

That old expression came to Undyne's mind, the one a few of the Snowdin monsters used to talk about, usually after a good snow fall or storm blowin' in from the Core. "When it rains, it pours." The prince sure looked like he was getting drenched.

"An army, huh?" Undyne grinned at the idea. "Ya know, I'm still havin' trouble finding a human up here that can give me a run for my gold." She let her teeth gleam with the idea. It'd be like the last stand in those anime documentaries.

A lone hero standing in the plain alone, the kingdom filled with their people at their back. The army of the evil commander will roll up, determined to end them all, but the hero is more sure of his blade and magic than all the soldiers he faces.

Maybe he bites the dust in the end, but he goes out a hero. Now _that_ would be a way out of this situation…

"Out of the question!" Or not.

Undyne looked over at Agnes, the musketeer that was _really_ starting to lose her cred as a determined human in her book. She was stomping over with a face that not even the most hard-core of the dog guard would wear. Didn't fit well on her furless face.

"We were given _specific_ orders to not only safely guard the letter and Prince Wardes, but also to _return_ to Tristian as swiftly as we could!" Undyne nodded her head. She didn't get where this was going.

"Yeah? What's yer point?" She asked, shrugging her bare shoulder. "You askin' me to take out the soldiers twice as fast?" She could try, but it'd be hard to be doubly efficient at something she'd never done before.

Then again, if Alphys were here, maybe she'd be able to set up a _theoretical_ number or time or something like that. Maybe then…

" _No_!" The woman spoke up again. Jeez, and here Undyne thought the pinkette had a pair of lungs on her. "Ludicrousness of even _thinking_ of challenging an army aside, you would be putting his highness in danger!" Okay, that was a good point.

It would be pretty hard to both take on the human army _and_ keep _one specific_ human safe from them all. Kind of felt like having your cake and eating it, too. Man, maybe she'd ask Muffet for some cake when they got back. She deserved it. Then again, if _someone_ were to _try_ …

Trying… could actually create a distraction. Undyne felt the brow of her good eye raise at the idea. It sounded so freaking simple, but it could _work_. And honestly, that was all that really mattered.

"How about…" Undyne began, already watching the lips on Agnes pull at her voice. Kind of like the pinkette, but could actually lift. " _You_ and _Wales_ run off to find somewhere to hide and _I_ stay behind to fight off the traitor!"

"No!" "I refuse." Damn, two voices giving one answer.

Undyne already had her hands up before Agnes marched herself over to her, the prince just shaking his head like some disappointed parent. The hell was this?

" _Sir_ Undyne," the musketeer began, staring up at her from heads below. "I understand you feel _extremely_ confident in your fighting abilities. As one who has witnessed you on two occasions, I can understand your confidence as well."

Honestly, those sounded like compliments to Undyne. But the problem was compliments didn't usual come from someone who was gritting her teeth with a threaded brow. She still just looked pissed off.

"But do understand, you have _not_ seen the Albion army before. I would dare to say, given the time in which Lady Louise summoned you, you have not witnessed _any_ military force before." Well… technically not, no.

"No, but-" Undyne was cutoff as Agnes rattled on.

"And I bring this up to say that your strength, boundless as it appears to be, is not limitless!" Fair enough, no one's was, but that included an army! "And if you were to risk your life for our escape alone, I would promise you honors upon our return." Wait, what?

"You serious?" Undyne spoke, grinning a bit. Looked like the Prince was just as surprised. "Sweet, then you and Wales go off and find some ship and-"

"But I cannot." Undyne dropped her arms and groaned through her loose jaw. It was amazing her teeth didn't fall out in exasperation. Hell, even Derflinger sounded like he was moaning through his rust! "I cannot because of the oath I made to my princess, and I believe it is one you made as well."

"Well duh!" Undyne threw her arms out, letting her absolutely tower over the human. Seriously, what she wouldn't give to find one her size and matching her strength. "Kinda comes with the duty of being a knight! Goin' off to save the prince from terrible troubles and all that!" Her webbed hand held itself out towards Wales as she spoke!

Okay, true, usually it was a princess that got rescued. But if she was gonna be the usual male knight, then it was only fair the usual princess was male. That is, Prince _Wales_!

"Not that," Agnes spoke on. "Princess Henrietta made me swear, promise not as a knight, but as a friend, that I would return to her upon the success _or_ failure of my mission." Undyne blinked with her good eye.

Oh crap, she knew where this was going.

"Am I incorrect to guess that Lady Louise, perhaps with the princess, requested much the same of you?" And man, those eyes knew. Those were the eyes like Alphys had when Undyne snagged an anime vid she hadn't watched in a while.

Undyne was right, Agnes was one _hell_ of a determined human.

"Yeah… you're right." Undyne admitted defeat. Damn, it made her throat feel like it was swallowing itself. Losing sucked, even if with just words. "Did say I'd come back and all. Guess I just figured that gettin' the prince outta here was priority one."

"And where you any other knight, I'd likely agree." Undyne didn't know how to take that. She just knew the lack of snarl was a plus. "But as you are a favored companion of Lady Louise, and she one to Princess Henrietta, needlessly endangering your life is something I cannot abide."

"Yeah, yeah, I get it." The monster waved the human off. Her scaled fingers wrapped and pulled at her jaw. There was only so much gloating that could go around. "Still doesn't change the fact we gotta do something. Any other plans Derf?" Maybe the sword had a point. Undyne snorted at the idea.

"Well, only other option I got is pickin' the prince up and carrying 'im back to the Tristian place. Probably by nabbing a ship if ya need, too." Not a bad idea. Just meant she'd have to carry them both to make any good time. "But I'm willin' ta bet the last gleaming parts on my blade he ain't gonna be on board fer that kind of deal." What, why not?

"He is right." _What, why not?_ Undyne looked at the Prince, shaking his head as he spoke. "I cannot leave my kingdom in this state, not with my people and likely soldiers being swayed by false word and testimony." Seriously?

"And yer not," Undyne spoke up, pointing at him with a blue webbed finger. "You're gettin' outta here so that you can meet up with the Princess and talk it out." It really was that simple.

"That would mean truly and completely abandoning my people!" Hey, the prince was shouting now. "And to do that would mean… it would mean in the greatest time of need, I left for selfish needs and pride." Undyne only realized her head was shaking when her hair started to whip in her face.

"With respect, your grace, you are looking at this incorrectly." Agnes, good on her. She'd be able to talk sense into the guy. "With the help of Princess Henrietta, you would be able to argue your case before the nobles, as well as demonstrate your dedication to the union with Germania. Wardes, despicable as he is, has only paper and charisma."

"You have just spoken the very reason why I cannot go." Wales looked at them pleadingly. Undyne just looked at him like he was crazy. Nice guy, but a lot of crazy people had screws loose, usually more than one.

"I must have misheard her then," Undyne continued on. "Cause all heard Anges say was that you'd get to convince some big shots you'd in the right. How's that a bad thing?" Really didn't make much sense. Usually proving you were right was the _good_ thing.

"Actually, I'm thinkin' I got where the boy is tryin' to hammer." It took Undyne a solid second to understand Derf. "He's talkin' 'bout the difference 'tween swords and arrows." No amount of time helped her to understand that.

Was this all crazier human talk and logic? The same logic that made them build big defensive suits off armor out of thin dent-able metal?

Maybe not, because at least Agnes was looking as confused as she was. Maybe it was confusion, at least that's how Undyne took the squinted eyes and folded arms. It could have been anger, but honestly, the humans were too difficult to read.

"You both don't understand." No kidding. "Allow… me to explain." He spoke as his eyes searched the field. It didn't take him long to find something he wanted, eyes settling in the distance. "Please follow me." Not like they had much of a choice with him already walking off.

He was only two steps out when Agnes took stride behind him. That got a defeated sigh out of Undyne, Derf laughing rustily on her back. If she wanted to get what the prince was talking about, she'd have to follow him. Well, what he AND Derf were talking about.

Didn't take much time for them to reach whatever the prince was looking for. Undyne recognized it, actually, but only sort of. Sort of was what you described something you understood, but not completely. She sort of understood the surface.

But for the thing Prince Wales had found, she understood it was ruins, no doubt. But she didn't get to what. Udnyne could only tell that there was a hole in the ground, cobblestone and bricks-like stones lain up around it, some fallen over, and enough rotted wood around it to make it clear someone was here before.

But not anymore. Kind of like the Ruins in the Underground. Then again, at least spiders lived there.

Undyne watched as the prince crouched at the side of the hole, just before jumping down into it. Agnes repeated his action, staying in stride with the little guy. Undyne just took two steps and let gravity pull her to the floor. It was only three feet, just a big step.

"Here," the prince started. Great, here what? "Please imagine, if you will, that an archer was positioned here with a swordsman. A swordsman that is keen in skill, like the archer, but lacks any tools to attack like the archer."

Great, now they were playing Monsters and Pits. Alphys only got that game rolling out when Papyrus managed to make it to her house. She couldn't stand the idea of pretending to be bad at anything, or too weak to take out a dragon.

"If enemies were to approach, the archer would be able, if aiming true, to take out many foes before the swordsman could even cross the field." Kay, yeah, like throwing her lances. Undyne still didn't get it. "By the time the swordsman reached the enemies, the archer may have already lain them to waste." Undyne still didn't get it.

"Basically finishin' the job 'fore the sword even got outta the sheath." Derf spoke up. If there was a pun in there, Undyne didn't hear. She wasn't looking for it. "So why bother trustin' the swordsman fer anythin' if the archer's all ya need."

Okay, that Undyne got.

"You're saying that Wardes will likely convince your kingdom before you have a chance to raise your voice." Agnes spoke up for her. Dang it! Go figures that the moment Undyne got it the human beat her to it.

But she had the advantage. She and the prince were both humans. Undyne was just a kickass fighting monster.

"I am," Wales admitted. Great, no need for second guesses. "Though I trust you and Sir Undyne would waste no moment in returning to Tristian, I fear that by the time we arrive, the request for my head will already be great and vast."

"So tryin' to convince anyone will be wastin' breath." Speaking of, Undyne blew one out of her nose. It ran down her scales and off her teeth. "Great, awesome. I wanted ta play politics up here. Figures that 'stead of fightin' off bad guys, you gotta talk to 'em instead."

"Sir Undyne," Agnes spoke again, forcefully. Geez, she really did sound like a mom. "You may not comprehend this, but the truth of the world is reckless battles create senseless war. To _wish_ for conflict is pure ignorance." Seriously, this human…

"I don't wanna fight some pointless war!" Undyne snarled at the human. Bonus points to her for not even blinking at the sight. "I hate that we gotta _talk_ around the guy who basically threw us into the Abyss!"

"Who into… what?" Undyne rolled her head. Did these humans not even know about the abyss?

"The abyss!" She nearly screamed, stomping the divot they were standing in. "The endless bottom of the underground. _That guy_ just threw us into it." Her hand pointed out above the hole across the plain they had walked from.

Wait… hold on.

Undyne followed her own hand, her good eyes squinting as she saw a figure standing in the center of the plain. A figure she _really_ wanted to pike.

"You've gotta be kidding me," Undyne whispered out. It took that long for the prince and musketeer to follow her hand. She couldn't' see their faces, but she knew it had to be the same.

It was just too good of news to see _Sir Wardes_ standing in the field.

Even if there was a veritable army behind him. Go figures.

"Get down!" Agnes hissed out in a rush. Undyne watched her crouch, the prince as well, before doing the same. Took her that long to remember that these two really didn't want to fight an army. "Why is _he_ back here?! How is he back _already_?!" Everything she said came out in an angry hiss. Undyne couldn't blame her.

She settled for peaking over the edge of the divot they stood in, using the crumbled stone as a pathetic wall. Guess it was working, cause the mustache man hadn't found them yet.

"Magic? No, that would require too high a class." Wales spoke up. Was that what the two of them were seriously concerned about? "Perhaps… they were close by? It hurts me to think he already had so many men waiting for us… and perhaps in multiple locations." Okay, that was enough.

"Worry less 'bout how he got here," Undyne hissed back to the, teeth grit and her good eye narrowed in focus. "Focus more on how ta _get_ outta here!"

" _Prince Wales of Albion_!" Undyne recognized that voice, _immediately_. Her teeth gnashed together, _immediately_. " _I have come seeking a bargain!_ "

"He's using his wind magic to amplify his voice," Agnes spoke up from their hiding spot. Cool, actually, but really not important. She didn't care how well a spear sparkled when she chucked it, usually. "Out in the open, exposed as he is… he is either confident I won't shoot or is hoping I will." The hell?

"Why hoping?" Undyne asked, looking at the human musketeer with her good eye. Agnes didn't reply.

"Probably cause then he'll know where yer are," Derflinger's rusted voice spoke up. And that made sense. "Not like it'll take him long ta find. Pretty open field, and tha' army marched through half the damn woods." That made sense, too. And Undyne hated that.

" _I have proof of your affair with her Highness, Princess Henrietta of Tristian_." Undyne heard Agnes growl at that. No, not growl, more like his. Dogs in Snowdin growled, and it was cute. Agnes was furious, like cats. Cats were damn scary. " _Your army and people know of your deception, and they know you will threaten their safety and treaty with Germania with your affairs_."

"Wait, seriously? They bought that?" Undyne asked. She snorted a strand of her red hair out of her face. "Who the hell thinks that'll stick? Like anyone's going to believe a bit of love threatens the kingdoms. Hell, that's what kept us alive in the Underground."

"He speaks truthfully." Okay, of everyone to say she was wrong, the prince himself wasn't exactly high on the list. Didn't' do much for Undyne to hear either.

She looked at him, her good eye staring at the prince as she leaned against the cobblestone and in the shadows. Yeah, he looked kinda pathetic, but was he a liar, too?

"The hell are _you_ talking about?" Undyne asked again. "So, you love the princess. Congrats! Not like yer the first two people to wanna get hitched young."

"That is not the issue, Sir Undyne," the prince spoke back. "There was a treaty made with Germania, the condition of approval being marriage between myself and the second daughter of their king." Yeah, Princess Henrietta did say something about that, Undyne thought.

"Kid's basically sayin' that the letter shows he was gonna throw that out the window." Okay, yeah, Undyne got that. "But what a few good words 'ill do is make it look like he don't _care_ about his people." Okay, no, Undyne didn't get that.

" _However, there are those amongst your men, nobles and generals alike, who wish to see you imprisoned, not killed, for your crimes against the kingdom_." And the freaking liar just spoke _on and on_.

Agnes may have been against shooting him, but Undyne was willing to risk chucking a lance.

" _So, Prince Wales, I offer you this._ " Undyne gripped the cobblestone, cracking it under her fingers. " _Surrender yourself to your men, proclaim your guilt to your nation, and your fellow thieves will be spared the pain of death_."

Wait, what?

"Us? He's talkin' about us?" Undyne pointed at her tank top chest before aiming the scaled finger at Agnes. The bob-cut woman looked at her in kind. "He's talking about saving us if you give yerself up?" Undyne pointed at Wales now, the kid who _really_ didn't look like he deserved this.

"It's what I 'eard," Derflinger spoke through a rusted tone on Undyne's back. "Looks like he's tryin' to give us an out ta cover his own tracks." Now that one Undyne got.

"Then he is a fool to think it will work." Undyne looked at Agnes, the bob-cut human pulling out her musket as she spoke. "I would sooner lay myself on my sword than to forego my duty."

"Yer sword swings that way?" Derf spoke, but Undyne didn't listen. Good thing no one else did either.

"It is not… a bad offer." Now _that_ Undyne heard.

"No way," Undyne hissed back at the prince. Sure, maybe that was a _bad_ idea, but considering what he just said, they were even. "We're not giving you up like that. That's a coward's choice and monsters aren't cowards." She made sure to smile. Cowards didn't smile either.

"Neither do Tristian Musketeers," Agnes added on. "The idea of abandoning you for my own sake is equivalent to saying my kingdom is a sham." On that, Undyne agreed with the human 100%.

"Cowardice as it may seem, it is superior to the foolish decision of suicide." Was the Prince seriously arguing for this? "At least if the pair of you escape, you will have a far greater chance of returning to Tristian." He seriously was. Undyne ground her teeth, suppressing the urge to scream at the brat. Just not yet.

"Ya know, he ain't entirely wrong." Okay, now that surprised Undyne.

"Derf! What the heck?!" She spoke in a harsh whisper. It felt like her teeth were going to pop out with how hard she was hissing through them. "We just got done arguing about how _stupid_ that would be!"

"Easy partner, Ah'm not sayin' it's a grand idea," the blade's rusted voice went on. "Just sayin' tha' ya can fix a rusted blade. Damn hard ta put back together a broken one." Right, yeah, she got it. Save some over saving none, whatever.

"Regardless, _you_ are the priority, your highness," Agnes answered to the prince again. "To lose you would mean an instant defeat, no matter the speed we returned to Tristian or the number of nobles we convince. Without you, it is meaningless." And that was the truth.

Heck, it the same way Undyne felt before, days ago actually. Knowing that the big guy wasn't putting up his boots and waiting for her sucked, hard. Nothing else seemed to matter.

Didn't matter if she made it to the surface, or every other monster to boot. If Asgore wasn't there, it just seemed… empty, like a lance without a point. There, but not worth.

And that… that was what the princess was gonna feel if the prince didn't make it back. Hell, the people in his kingdom that trusted him would feel the same. Great they survived, which they would, but bad that they lost their leader, which was damn important.

Without him… things would feel empty. He _was_ the priority to keep alive.

Thing was, a hero usually wasn't. Anime were right again.

"How 'bout instead of you goin' out there," Undyne began, rolling her shoulder. "I go out there instead." The brow on the bob-cut musketeer furrowed almost instantly.

"Now is not the time for jesting," Anges spoke up quickly. Undyne just shook her head. Honeslty, this seemed kind of funny to her.

"I'm not," she spoke again. "It's just like ya said. Wales here is priority one." Her webbed thumb pushed at the guy, who was staring up at her with wide eyes. "And, no offense to you, but I'm willlin' to bet I can at least slow down those guys out there."

" _I know you are still here, your highness!_ " The _traitor_ yelled out again. Undyne felt any good feelings she had almost instantly die at his voice. " _And though you are and I are patient, the men you betrayed are not_." Great, so they really were on a time clock.

"Like he said, we're on the clock," Undyne spoke up.

"Sir Undyne." Oh geez, Agnes was getting formal now. Knowing how she acted before, that was probably like when Asgore used her full name. "Sacrificing yourself like this… this is a needless act." Pretty easily to tell she didn't even believe that anymore.

"It's dumb ta sacrifice yerself to kill others," Undyne spoke as she rolled her shoulder. "But riskin' yer life to save others, now that's what a hero's all about, ain't it?" And a bright smile too boot. Heroes were supposed to look heroic, and nothing did that better than a gleaming smile.

"You… you truly are…" Agnes face contorted as she spoke. Heck, at least she had emotion. The prince, for the first time, had the typical dumb human expression. Sure, Undyne hated, but at least right now she got it.

He just couldn't believe what she was willing to do. Guess that was as good as a compliment as she was gonna get. Speechlessness and all that.

"What of Lady Louise? Of her highness?" Anges kept talking though, even with a face fighting between anger and trepidation. "What would we say to them?"

Finally an easy answer.

"I'll tell ya what to tell them." Undyne grasped Derflinger's handle, getting to her knees and getting ready for a lunge. "Tell 'em I couldn't save my king when he needed me." Her other webbed hand reached around her back and grasped _Asgore's Lance_. It was still hot to the touch.

"But right now, I can save their prince." And talking was over.

_BOOM_

Undyne jumped off the ground with all her strength, flying into the air like she was trying to jump out of the Underground. She knew she kicked up a dirt storm with the jump, no different than when she was hopscotching her way over to the port before. Difference was, she only need one good jump now.

And that good jump, putting her probably the height of Asgore's castle in the air, gave her a good look at the 'army' the traitor had brought.

And yeah, it was an army.

She'd seen bigger armies in the shows Alphys and her watched, sometimes so large that they blotted out the horizon. This one wasn't nearly so big. Just large enough to take up a good part of the field they had landed on.

So like… a thousand or two, three tops. Still a lot of humans.

"Tough odds," Derf spoke from her back. "Good thing Ah'm made of _sterner_ stuff!"

With the joke on her mind, Undyne laughed all the way back to the ground.

_BOOM_

She landed in a crouch, hands on her weapons and good eye to the ground. She saw the dirt and grass tear up and crack under the force. Guess the surface wasn't as hardcore as the Underground afterall.

Still, that was secondary. What was really important was where she had landed.

And that was right in front of the _traitor_ , Wardes.

Undyne rose to her tallest in front of him, forgetting about the 'army' of humans behind him. They didn't matter. She didn't even know him. She just knew this human, this guy.

This traitor that wanted to hurt her friends.

"Sir Undyne of the Underground," the dude spoke, finger running across his stupidly large brim hat. Maybe compensation. "I must admit, I expected to see you again, but by Louise's side." He was trying to piss her off, obviously. "But I suppose monsters do frequently change masters." And it was working.

"Big talk comin' from the traitor himself," she growled out, staring at him with a clenched jaw. He was taller than most human, yeah, but he was still a good head shorter than her. Short, weak, and completely pathetic. "Out here tryin' to find the prince."

"Indeed I am," Wardes replied. "And I thank you for admitting he is nearby." Crap, dammit!

The _traitor_ lifted his hand, motioning it forward like he was beckoning a dog from the Dog Squad. Out of her good eye, Undyne saw a couple of the humans move from the pack behind him. Didn't take Alphys to know what they were doing.

And it didn't take Asgore to stop them. Raising her own hand, Undyne did just that.

_BANG- BANG- BANG- BANG- BANG- BANG-_

Her spears flew out of the sky, slamming into the grass behind the _traitor_. But more importantly, in front of the advancing humans. Like children in Snowdin, that scurried back at the sight. Figures, all humans acted alike.

Except, stupidly enough, the one she wanted to terrify the _most_.

"Impressive as the first time I saw it," Wardes spoke again. Undyne _really_ wanted to wipe that smile from his face. "But little more than magic with form. Different than mine only in shape." Yeah, no.

"More like shape, strength, and durability," Undyne added on. "Faced off against a bunch of you humans before, from jerks at the magic school to that mud thief and even some slimeball in a fancy suit. Your magic's got nothing on me."

And she knew it didn't. She knew it because it had happened before. And if anyone was going to change that, it was going to be some traitor of a human.

"Magic alone, you are correct." Undyne wanted to grin at the admittance. But, really, when a villain admitted something, it was because they were hiding something. She'd seen enough documentaries to know that golden rule. "Thankfully, I have more than merely square-class spells."

The traitor reached under his coat, grabbing at something that Undyne could see. She crouched down, getting ready for something, anything. Maybe a gun like Agnes, maybe a throwing knife, maybe _two_ wands instead. She'd be ready.

 _SHING!_ But really, she didn't expect a sword.

Undyne should have, and she knew it, but she didn't. Every other human she'd fought had used magic, and she thought it'd be just the same. But instead, the Wardes guy was holding a piece of thin steel in his hand.

And, of course, he was grinning.

"I have _determination_."

Undyne wasn't grinning at all.

"Fuck," Undyne whispered under her breath. It'd be easy to call him a liar, seeing as he was a traitor, but you didn't need to tell the truth to have determination. Undyne _knew_ that.

However long Alphys did her experiment, she went on and on about the stuff. She talked about cause Undyne knew _she_ had it. The lone monster of the Underground to channel the stuff like the boss that she was. Second to Asgore, duh, but third to no one else.

She was sure no humans on the surface, at least this side of the surface, had that kind of power.

But it was hard to look at the traitor's eyes know, under that stupidly brimmed hat, and call him a liar.

"That bad, partner?" Derf asked from her back. "Not used to ya bein' speechless."

"Not speechless," Undyne shot back. "Just… thinkin." About what, she didn't know. "Just feelin' a little stretched here."

"Well, careful, wouldn't want ya ta _snap_."

And Undyne pushed out a chuckle. That was funny.

"Humor?" Wardes, the traitor, asked. "I suppose seeing a means for your death would make even the strongest delirious." And that was funny too.

"Hehe, that's a good one." Undyne reached back and grabbed Derf. _SHING!_ Pulling him out with a quick jerk of her arm. "But really, no matter how much _determination_ ya think you got. I got more, in _blades_."

Derflinger laughed rustidly from her grasp.

"Good on ya partner! It was all getting' too serious fer me anyways," Derflinger spoke up. The way his hilt and blade was rattling, it was like he was stretching as Undyne held him out. It gotta grin out of the monster's tight jaw. "Good ta know ya can _handle_ this. Means ya got a good _grasp_ of things. No need ta _steel_ yerself fer what's coming."

Through her tight jaw, Undyne began to chuckle. The jokes were appreciated. Really.

"Fair enough," Wardes spoke from across the plain. "Then I suppose we will have to measure ourselves, through clashing steel, won't we?" He was still grinning. Didn't matter to Undyne.

She was, too.

"Better prepare yourself _Wardes_ ," Undyne yelled out, gripping Derf till she thought she'd cripple the metal. "Cause you have no idea what you've just thrown yourself into!"

"I don't? Then please, do enlighten me." Undyne would be more than happy.

"I'm Undyne, Captain of Asgore's Roya Guard, Hero of the Monsters, and friend to Louise Valliere!"

 _SHINK!_ And _Asgore's Lance_ came out in her other webbed hand, its spikes aimed at the chest of the traitor.

"And I will _strike you down!_ "

**Notes for the Chapter:**

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	23. Stay Determined

"You have to focus on _where_ she is, dearie,~" the spider spoke to her from somewhere outside her vision. "Think of her, think of where she stands, and then imagine the _distance_ between the two of you closed. Closed like the folds of a sweet pastry, _Ahuhuhuhu~_ " She scowled at the monster giving her advice.

"This is _hardly_ a laughing matter, _Muffet!_ " Louise almost roared back. Her limbs were already shaking in focus. It hardly helped that focusing her magic, even the basic spells she had done under Derflinger's guidance, were faring little better.

The magic of the four schools seemed tame compared to the spells she was meant to cast now, and there was a time constraint she _had_ to surpass!

"It is alright, Louise," the princess spoke up from beside her, calm and _not at all_ mocking, unlike the frilly purple spider. "Ignore us, focus on your magic, do as you did all those hours studying for the magical academy." The princess did have a way with her words.

The pink haired Valliere raised her hand again, aiming it at an exposed section of the room. Her eyes narrowed in focus, seeing nothing around her but the vacant space she aimed to fill. It was the school of her unannounced magic that would make it so. Not the manipulation of other elements, but the drawing of space beyond sight.

Derflinger had been methodical and deliberate as a master swordsman with his words, pun-laced as they were. She was meant to see past what was and image what could be. Combine that with what is. The was was a vacancy of space. The is was Undyne's form, far away now and past a day's travel on a flying ship, past the hectic trip of a sprint she had done before. All that space between them, and it was something she had to overcome.

Louise had to imagine a way to move from the room of the Tristian castle to the plain that Undyne was camped on, according to the hideous spider of the fellow monster. Difficult was a word she loathed to admit, but this was truly in such a regard just that. Difficult. To imagine what had never been and drawing it in was a thing she could not imagine without examples, yet she was being tasked to draw them in just the same.

Her mind had to be clear, but that was a difficult task, even with the pair of individuals beside and behind her. One appeared to be measuring her temper, the other covering it, if possessing one at all. Even Louise could tell, through her own aggravation and disorientation, that Princess Henrietta was no more pleased with the delay than she was. How could either of them be expected to remain calm now of all times? It was an immensely impossible task.

If her fiancé had betrayed them, which he likely _hadn't_ , then every second wasted was another moment allowing him to succeed.

Or, in the case the case that Louise was sure the tale would follow instead, to exonerate him of the character assassination the monster had rudely attempted on him, proving that he was noble as gold and with the prince well cared for.

But none of that could happen, unless she _casted the spell_.

"GHAY!" She yelled out, swiping her hand down in frustration. "It won't come out! No matter how I imagine a _vacancy of space_ , I'm only reminded of Colbert's lessons on the world!" And his word truly did knock through her mind.

"Hmm?~ I don't follow, and that is an accomplishment to one as _wide-eyed_ as me, _Ahuhuhuhu~_ " Her pride was _not_ something Louise had the patience for.

"Nature hates a vacuum of materials!" She yelled with a point of her hand, hoping fruitlessly that she'd stab one of the monster's five eyes with the thin digit. "To remove something from space is to invite nature to fill it! Water moves were land has left and air takes place of all else!" It was the justification for why air magic was so bountiful in the schools. He was kind and wise, and his lessons were hardly non-factual.

"Interesting, interesting,~" the spider nodded on with her over-sized head. Muffet hoped it would roll off soon. "And how does that _analogy_ service us here?~"

"Because Louise is trying to _create_ something _from_ the void," her princess spoke for her. Louise knew she was blessed to have her liege defend her in such a way. "Unlike the manipulation of what is already here, Louise is attempting to cast a spell that defies nature, and therefore, it fights against her. And, it certainly is not aided that our compatriots may be endangered by this… unfortunate turn of events."

" _That we still need to_ observe, _your majesty_ ," Louise whispered quickly to her princess. Proud and kind as she was, it was her duty as a noble to point out the small errors, so that she would look even more pristine. "And I _can't focus_ on what that _IS!_ " And it was an unnerving sort of failure she felt. One that was far deeper than the normal mistakes she was prone to make.

Not a mistake in form, in desire, in incantation, or even the preparation of materials necessary. No, this was a mistake formed by the clear inability to do something, an act that couldn't be easily reconciled with a lesson or necessary item.

It was a failure of comprehension, of the _mind_. Simply, a failure regulated to those of _lesser_ intelligence.

Perhaps that was what it was, but Louise would not let that stop her. Because to fail now was to fail her partner, her fellow Ambassador between humans and monsters. That was something she simply could not _afford_ to do. Failure of herself was one thing, but failure at the expense of her comrades was another. Her mother would not fail in her battles and Louise was her flesh and blood.

She would _not_ fail a friend, even if it was merely to make sure they were well.

"Perhaps you are thinking about this… _in a round-about fashion,~_ " The spider spoke on. Louise threw down her arm in a huff, listening to the monster. "Thinking about this as a thing you can _touch_ , rather than _feel_ , _Ahuhuhuhu~_." The spider spoke as she extended the totality of her arms, bending and waving through the air as Louise might imagine a babe do in their crib. When it was six arms that waved from a singular lithe frame, it was not a pleasant sight.

"And just _what_ am I meant to imagine?" Louise snarled back at Muffet. Her highness would likely be upset with her, but this was a serious time, and the monster seemed determined to stay in the realm of relative rather than absolute. If her partner was in trouble, and her fiancé most certainly was not the cause of, then it was _not_ the time for that. "Should I imagine dreams? The future? _Hatred_?" She had that to spare.

"Louise."

"No no _no_ , _dearie_. _Nothing_ so violent~." The spider waved off with a pair of her arms, another set wrapping about her torso. "I'd offer that you settle for something more… _inviting~._ " Inviting? Imagine an invitation?

"Speak clearly, spider," Louise seethed out again. " _You_ are the one who said that Undyne is in trouble, and I will _not_ risk a delay due to your riddles and webs!" the word made the monster grin through her petite fanged mouth. Oh how Louise now missed Undyne's massive and near-nightmarish jaw. At least she could take comfort in the yellow grin.

"What I mean, _dearie_ , is for you to imagine not a feeling of… _dark desire_ , on no~." She shook her overly large head with the words. "Imagine, instead, a feeling of _positivity_ towards the one you wish to reach. _Imagine_ it as… a _bridge_ that is not bound to the _space_ you are in, _Ahuhuhuhu~_." Louise felt her lips turn up. Was the spider still trying to jest with her?

"I… believe she's correct." Lousie turned to Princess Henrietta, her lavender haired liege folding her hands as she spoke. "The feelings of elation and joy, especially towards others, are things that poets and even scholars say are not bound by distance or time. If you were to imagine such a feeling with the spell… perhaps _that_ may be the way to draw forth something from the void." Of that Louise understood.

It was true that such feelings were kept to the boundaries of land or borders. Her feelings for her family no more diluted in the walls of Tristian than in her own abode. They were just as strong, as sure. So, if she were to imagine that feeling towards one of the members they tried to meet… then it could work. It was certainly better than merely sparking her wand at nothing.

"I will try, your highness," Louise let out again, aiming her wand at the far wall as she began to think. It was obvious who she should think of.

Sir Wardes, of course. Her fiancé and dedicated man to his post. It was impossible to think of him, through all of his charm, and not be entertained by the feelings of pride that he swelled within her. To be the one that would wed him, to bear his children, to spend the years together, it was something that was nothing short of a positive note in her otherwise trepid life.

And yet, her wand did nothing.

"Having trouble?~" The damnable spider questioned. Louise shut her eyes as tightly as she grit her teeth. "Perhaps you are thinking of the _wrong_ individually. Perhaps there is another you feel… _stronger_ about. One that, perhaps, is just as _strong_ as they seem~." Her words didn't need to be so convoluted.

It was clear as the walls who she was speaking of. And, though Louise wished to bark and perhaps bite at the chitinous grin of the spider, she knew it would be better to try than do nothing at all. At least her failure in this moment would prove the spider wrong.

So, raising her wand again, Louise though of Undyne, the Captain of the Royal Guard of the Underground.

A monster she had summoned while looking for a servant, and instead bringing forth a partner she never imagined she'd have the grace to deserve. A creature that appeared to be more monstrous in appearance than any other being in the Tristian lands, yet more noble than many of the rulers and counts who dotted the country.

Her partner whom had helped her in a dark time in regret… and she had helped through just a darker time as well. The fish monster that could crush stone in her hand, but wept for her liege now long dead. A monster that had shown Louise what honor was meant to be, and did nothing but act in accordance with her vows that came with her post. A true warrior.

A true friend.

_Sprk-_

"Louise!" The void mage opened her eyes.

And before her she saw a portal, swirling with purple energy and forcing away the space between it. A circling mass unlike anything she had seen before, any hardly something she could understand. Yet, here it still stayed, swirling with an energy she didn't recognize, but so closely mirroring the cracking light from her wand.

"My, _my~,_ " Muffet let out beside her. "I may have been too _hard_ on you, _dearie_. My little _Master_ had such a difficult time with this.~" Was that true? Louise didn't know.

"That's it… isn't it? Louise is that what I believe it is?" And for once, she could not answer or even turn to her liege. It was too difficult to turn away from the _portal_ she had wrought from her magic, _her_ magic. _VOID_ magic.

She swallowed lightly, wondering what to do. Was it large enough to fit through? Did it go where she needed? The answer could only be answered as maybe on all accounts. Only testing would prove the answer obvious and… how would she test it. She had yet to even drop her wand hand. Should she?

Louise realized she was stumbling, but it was difficult to imagine doing anything else. The sight before her was simply too… _impossible_ to imagine much of anything else. Not even the magic of Undyne and her manic spears compared to this. One was the construction of Light and Earth, likely. This was the void, the casting spells of the _Founder_ himself.

"What should I do?" She asked without realizing the words slipped through her lips. Answers were abundant.

"Make… Make sure it goes where we need to," her majesty returned first. "We must ensure this leads us to Sir Undyne and prince Wales. Otherwise it would be a false trip." Her logic was sound, as would be expected of her princess.

"Ensure it is stable, stable as a _well-spun web_ ," the spider followed next black chitinous hands extending forward. " _Thin_ the wrings, _tighten_ them together, imagine as you would, _as my precious Vivvy might_ , the wringing of cloth." Though she deplorable the monster, her logic was good. Stable magic was important, especially when it was a volatile and unpredictable one.

Louise imagined it, for that much she could do now, spinning her wind sideways as if she were ringing the last few of the stubborn drops that plagued her dress by the lake. To her amazement, and unspoken joy, the loose strands of the portal did much the same, tightening until they were well coiled, like the taunt string of a weaver's spindle. And with the tightening, the portal opened further, showing the little of the land beyond.

A land that sat at a cliff's edge, with the sky's nearly at eye-level. A sea was unseen beyond the reach, likely, but the cliff itself was battered and broken. Sheer edges that showed no even dip, ruined marks upon the ground, as if heavy objects fell without dampening to its surface. Beaten by the time of its existence. Louise did not recognize the land.

"The Albion cliffs." Her majesty, Princess Henrietta, did. "Those are the cliffs to Albion. Prince Wales showed them to me when we visited for diplomatic meetings. You can only reach them through the long flight of the sky ships or a well-trusted gryphon's back."

"Apparently there is _one more way_ now~," Muffet laughed from Louise's side. She did not spite the monster this time. "But perhaps we should hurry through. There is no telling how well the web will hold, or if a coming storm will _wash it all away_." Indeed, that was something to fear.

"I-I'll go first!" Louise declared. "It is my magic so i-i-it befits me to try before you my liege." The Princess only nodded in response, though her smile was evident. There was no time to waste on it, however. Undyne, and perhaps Sir Wardes, needed them.

Louise took careful steps forward, stopping at the limits of the portal, eyeing its edges with a wary eye. It appeared, again, like nothing she had witnessed before, but it was not harsh nor dangerous to her eyes. It was as if she were eyeing the wyverns of the stable for the first time admiring their size, but knowing they were well-trained. This was her beast, and it would be trained under her wand.

Her foot tentatively reached through, and nearly pulled right back.

"What is it?" Princess Henrietta questioned. "Was something wrong?" Louise shook her head. No, that wasn't it.

"N-No, your highness," she made a quick, and appropriate, return. "It was just… the temperature surprised me." And it had.

Louise was not expecting such a chill from merely stepping through. Though she knew that was not the fault of her magic. The winds of the high island of Albion were not likely to be warm under the sun. Not when the headwinds were so strong and the chill so great.

But that was hardly a reason to falter.

Louise sucked in a breath again, tightening her wand in her palm before lowering her head. She took marches forward, stepping through now as she tensed her body and ignored the chill of the air. It was only a sign that she had made it through.

And with a crack of her eye, she knew she had.

Louise was standing not in the castle of Tristian, but on the apparent bluffs of Albion.

Clouds rolled by her, wind swept through her hair, and even her lungs felt the chill of the altitude. But her bones were shaking not with the cold, but joy.

Her magic had worked.

Louise turned with a smile on her face, ready to beckon her majesty and the monster forward through the same portal. She saw them just beyond, the spider grinning with coy lips and fanged teeth, her eminence with clear jubilation as well.

And indeed, as she faced them, they stepped forward as well. Her highness stepping through and shaking at the sudden chill, followed quickly by Muffet, her many limbs clinging to her body fast enough to wipe the smirk from her face. It was an evident and joyful experience, one that Louise should have been marveling at.

The rumination of her magic, the efforts of her experience and failures, culminating in a spell unseen in Tristian. She didn't even comment a word on it.

Louise could not dare speak a word of her portal that traveled across countries and continents.

_BOOM! **BOOMBOOM**_

Not when she was staring at a battle that ruined the bluffs.

Two figures were fighting, far away from them in distance, but so ferociously attacking one another that missing them would be like forgetting where the castle was in town. A pair of mages were dueling, a duel to the death, launching magical attacks at one another that screamed through the air, tore through the skies, and uprooted the earth they stood on.

Louise could feel the battle rippling through her legs, every impact the pair of fighters made against one another sending shivers through her legs, her wind gripped tightly if only because she feared a loose muscle would mean falling to the ground. And it was all compounded by the fac that she recognized the two fighters in combat.

Louise would never forget the strong wind magic of her fiance Sir Wardes, taught by the Heavy Wind herself.

Just as easily would she be able to forget the titanic blue spears of one Sir Undyne, directed by the lance of her king.

"W-What in the founder's name?" Her liege questioned behind her, but Louise could not answer, she didn't have one.

 _BANGBANGBANGBANG_ The all too familiar sound of Undyne's spears popping into existence rippled through the air, followed by them screaming through it faster than Louise had witnessed before.

A blink of her eye and she missed them striking at Sir Wardes. The Gryphon Captain, however, commanded the winds to sweep them away, sending the titanic lances to smash into the Earth.

**BOOM BOOOOM!**

And the impact was none-too-gentle. Worse yet, it took only a glance to see this was _far_ from the first time it had happened. The scars along the Earth made much more since now, and it only filled Louise with regret. How long had this been going on for?

" ** _HRAGG!_** " A familiar voice yelled out, accompanied by the blue-scaled warrior charging forward, _Asgore's Lance_ and Derflinger high above her head. If it were not for the distance, Louise feared she would have lost track of the monster entirely.

But despite the close distance they shared, her _fiancé_ didn't miss the strike.

_BOOM_

The light ricochet of their clashing steel vibrated through the air, ringing Louise's ears and forcing her legs to bend. From the distance they were at and she _still_ felt terror as the air trembled at the strikes. It made her jaw shake all the same.

As Louise watched her familiar strike at her fiancé, a blur of blue with a weapon of red and gray, swinging at speeds she believed unmatchable by human standards, she witnessed Sir Wardes keeping pace all the same. A captain of the Gryphon Knights, a triangle, near square, class-mage, and his footwork with a steel blade was at least _near_ equal to that of a monster.

" **HOLD STILL!** " Undyne yelled again, her voice an explosion of air as she swung her liege's lance forward and back. Sir Wardes, however, did not heed the demand.

He jumped and ducked through the swipes, weaving through them with an artful grace that must have been assisted by his magic. He did not try and approach the monster, but kept distance away from her, all the while swinging his own wand forward and back towards the Captain of the Royal Guard. It took time for Louise to realize he wasn't merely dodging.

He was attempting to move Undyne with the air itself, as the Heavy Wind had doubtlessly instructed of him before.

But Undyne was a monster that had endured the tidal forces of Count Mott and the avalanche of earth from Fouquet. One would need the true Heavy Wind to be able to move her.

 _BANG BANG BANG!_ " _HGAAAAY!"_ And Undyne roared again as she swung Derflinger forward, the blade a switch that sent her spears rocketing forward once more. They were, however, no more effective now than they were before.

Sir Wardes swiped his wand forward, bringing up a great updraft that forced the flying spears to bend in their trajectory. Like the cannons launched from ships, they sailed overhead, ripping as they passed.

**BOOM! BOOM! BOOOOM!**

And the bluffs shook again as they hit, tearing up the earth harder than most line class earth mages could hope to compete.

Through it all, Louise could not look away, too enraptured, too terrified, by the sight that was overtaking her. Here she had believed, had hoped, that Muffet was wrong about Sir Wardes, about how he had _betrayed_ them. She was more willful to hope that the spider was enacting a dirty trick than to see her honesty be true. And yet, now there was no denying that _something_ had certainly happened.

Because for all the bravado her partner had and confidence that Sir Wardes possessed, neither would start a fight for no reason. And that was to speak less of the veritable army that stood across the plains from them.

_BANGBANGBANG_

But it was difficult, if not impossible, to see anymore of them while Undyne continued to bring her spears into existence, thrusting them forward as she charged with a feral war cry. Even more so as Sir Wardes matched and combatted her, keeping her deadly lances at bay and matching strokes with his own blade.

_Booom!_

Strokes and strikes that let the air explode and run in fear, the earth to tremble beneath them. The idea that this was all occurring at the edge of a cliff face was something that Louise had nearly forgotten, but now only gave her fresh fears to be concerned with. Fears for her safety, her partner's, and for that of her liege.

"Priness? Princess!" Louise whipped her head at the cry, knowing that it had not come for her or Undyne. That only left precious few who would call out to Princess Henrietta.

She was please, thrilled, and horrified to see Sir Agnes in a ditch, already rising out of the hole in the ground to approach them. She was stopped, however, by a pair of hands grabbing at her side and pulling her back in. Hands belonging to an otherwise mildly kempt boy she didn't recognize. However, it would have been an insult to her heritage to not at least guess who it was.

"Prince Wales!" Princess Henrietta yelled for her, dashing ahead. Louise knew her liege had the correct idea.

 _BANGBANGBANGBANG_ **BOOM BOOOOOOOM!**

Staying out in the open while mages of grand might battle was not what any would consider a wise course of action.

Even with eyes that traced he battle of the monster and captain of the Gryphons far across the bluffs, Louise beat her feat against the ground, making way for the bunker the Musketeer and Albion Prince were in. She continued to watch as Undyne struck out again and _again_ at Sir Wardes, a blur of color she couldn't hope to react to. Yet Sir Wardes never missed a beat. On the other hand, neither had he been able to strike at the monster.

It was a stalemate, as many would call it, though one that meant approaching would deliver death.

"Princess!" She heard the cry again, this time finding herself at the edge of the hole the companions of Undyne were in. Louise jumped in after her liege.

"Agnes! Prince Wales!" Princess Henrietta cried more than spoke their names, throwing herself into the prince's arms. He took her in a full embrace immediately, hands pulling her until she was lifted off the ground, head burying into the crux of his neck. He did the same in kind to her.

Their shoulders hook as they held one another, Louise keeping herself small and quiet at the sight. This was what her highness was hoping to have and had resigned instead to merely retrieve a letter instead. To have it in hand was not something she was expected, or even asked, to ruin.

_BANGBANGBANG BOOM! **BOOM! "HRAAAY!"**_

Not when the battle between the monster and human magical captains were fighting to the death just beyond them. The embracing royalty was a sight that was given even less time to be enjoyed before the Musketeer pulled them apart, putting her face close to that of her liege.

"Princess, how? How are you here?! _Why?!"_ The fear was evident, and Louise understood well enough why. It was hard not to, when the sounds of battle echoed above them. More so when the blonde woman turned a sharp eye to her. "Did _you_ bring her here? Why would you do this? Why would you endanger her _highness!?"_ Louise had no response.

"Agnes!" The princess, instead, yelled again. "Leave Louise alone!" Said girl could barely register her highness was yelling at all. Her eyes were too drawn to the battle across the bluffs and just above the eyeline of the hole they were in. She could look away as the clashing steel shook the earth, and the pair of mages appeared to warp from one location to another across the now battle-scarred land. "We learned of Sir Wardes betrayal and Louise used her magic to create a means for us to come here! I followed for fear of you all, so do not insult her!"

_BANGBANGBANG BOOM! **"CMON!" BOOM! "HRAAAY!"**_

"I-I'm not insulting her, your higness. I'm questioning…" The musketeer's voice dropped off as she spoke. "No, _how_ did you hear of Wardes betrayal? It happened scant over a day ago, and no messenger could make flight so quickly!"

"Muffet told us," Louise spoke, eyes never once looking towards the battle-hardened woman, else she miss the battle of her partner. "Her spiders sent a message, and she relayed it o her highness and I by our request."

"Muffet?" Sir Wales asked now. Oh yes, he hadn't met the spider, the fortunate soul. "Who is this _Muffet_?" Luck, however, appeared to be fairly negative at the moment.

"Well now~, it does appear that everyone is _nestled in_ together~." Louise shut her eyes for a moment, having forgotten about the spider earlier. She, quite unlike most spiders she had seen, had no issue of making herself known. "And in the shadows of a _terrifying_ encounter at that, _Ahuhuhuhuhu~._ " Her humor was _not_ appreciated, in _any_ regard.

**BOOM BOOOOOOM!**

"What in the _Founder's name?!_ " Agnes yelled again, appropriately, even if her voice was muddled by the sounds of battle beyond her. The drawing of her blade, however, was not. "Be back _monster!_ "

"Monster? _Oh~!_ So you already _see what_ I am? _Ahuhuhuhu~_ " The spider lifted several of her hands to her petite mouth to cover her laughter. "And I _confess_ , a monster I am. A _monster_ no different than _Undyne_."

_BANGBANGBANG BOOM! **"FALL DAMMIT!"**_

Perhaps a little different, as Louise thought as she watched the battle rage. Watching as Undyne threw more and more of her spears at the Captain of the Gryphons. She knew Wardes to be skilled in battle, able to match any Musketeer without magic and nobles with his own casting, but now this was… nearly unheard of.

"She speaks honestly, Agnes!" The princess spoke again. "She was the one who helped Louise cast her magic, familiar with her Void magic!"

"Void magic?" Prince Wales now. "Louise is a void mage?" It was a fact she would have doubted herself a few scant days ago. But now she no longer could.

"Bringing forth a bridge from the void, to cross _any distance,~_ " the large purple spider went on. "And I _must_ admit, I am both thrilled and _disheartened_ to see that my spiders were correct as usual. The _dearies_ so often enjoy their pranks." Though she wished to yell that this was just another one of the poorly made acts, Louise could not say that Sir Wardes was just in this fight. Undyne never struck out first against a foe. Not before and likely not now.

"Then you know of Undyne? Of what is happening?" Prince Wales again asked. "Do you know of _why_ Sir Wardes betrayed us? _Anything_ we can say to convince the soldiers behind him to listen to me instead?" They were his men, or at least wore the colors of his nation.

" _Your highness_ ," Muffet continued with her sickly-sweet voice. "I do apologize~. I know of _why_ Sir Wardes betrayed country and kingdom, but I fear your men will simply _never listen_ to another again.~" Were she not surrounded by the royalty and musketeer captain, Louise would have struck out.

_BANG! BOOM! **BOOM! "HRAAAY!"**_

But she was distracted by the continuing fight. One where Sir Wardes was rocketing himself into the air, using his wind magic to push and dodge around the flying pikes. His training was immense to be able to bend and dodge as he was, Undyne's magic flying back and far out of sight as a consequence. And it happened before Undyne grabbed Derflinger and her lord's lance, running forward at impossible speeds once more.

"Speak plainly! _Why_ will they not listen?!" Agnes had little patience for the spider, as was proper against a monster as sickly as she. "Are they disloyal? _Bought out?_ Looking for a reason to _kill_?! What?!"

"They are _ensnared_ , _dearie~,_ " the monster returned. " _Tied up_ and _wound tight_ in the webbing of magic that comes from the _lavender ring_ upon Sir Wardes's hand." She let two of her hands hold out and touch a third, showing where the ring lay.

It was impossible to see, from the distance they were at, if Sir Wardes truly wore the ring now. Let alone because of the speeds the battle was flying at. To be able to spy it would need the magic of wind or eyes of an eagle to even glimpse at the thing, if it were present.

"How does that… how could Wardes have _possibly_ obtained that?!" Agnes yelled again, perhaps to be heard over the booming and clashing of the two mages. It was not an unreasonable thought. Louise was mute from merely watching the continuing exchange.

"Of _that_ , I do _not_ know~." Her words left much to be desired. "My little _dearies_ merely watched as the _odd capped man_ rubbed the ring as he store down a few of the _higher standing_ men, then watched as the _determined_ humans fell for every word he _wove, Ahuhuhuhuhu~_." For a moment, and just that, Louise wished to call Undyne over to her. Perhaps, if only, to have Muffet speak plainly and be put on edge.

 **BOOM! BOOM!** _BANGBANGBANGBANG!_ **"GET READY TO FREEZE!"**

It was a thought that was quickly dashed.

"You do not seem worried," Princess Henrietta spoke. "Are you not afraid of the battle? Are you not fearful for Undyne's life?"

Laughter, from the fanged mouth of venom, was the unsympathetic response. Louise had the ungodly urge to blow the spider away.

" _Undyne cannot lose_ , your majesty~," Muffet returned confidently. That was… an appropriate response. " _Sooo many_ humans have tried, and _soooo many_ have fallen. Careful though they are, they _cannot_ best her, not when they lack the _determination_ to defeat the Captain of Asgore's Guard~." Her confidence was a boon, of that Louise could not deny.

Though twisted as her words were, comparable to the webs she likely spun in whatever abode she chose, the idea of Undyne losing was a difficult one, after witnessing her fight no less than half a dozen times. To lose now, was simply a far off and unimaginative nightmare. And yet, the longer Louise watched the battle rage on…

"Then Wardes may be the first," Agnes spoke Louise's damned thought. "For neither he nor Undyne has been able to harm the other." The growl showed the dissatisfaction. The grip her fists showed the truth and disappointment.

"Oh~?" Muffet questioned. "I wouldn't be too _sure_ if _I_ were-"

_BANGBANGBANGBANGBANGBANGBANGBANGBANGBANGBANGBANGBANGBANGBANGBANGBANGBANGBANGBANGBANGBANGBANGBANG_

Her words died as unholy amount of azure spears popped almost violently into existence, surrounding the battlefield between Undyne and Sir Wardes. Their size was hardly any different than before, but they number was not to be lacking. Like chandeliers, they held themselves in the air, vicious points all aiming downward, sparking with he magic that Undyne had created them with, and nearly doming over towards a singular, and obvious target.

" **EAT THIS!"** Undyne yelled out, slamming down Derflinger. The spears began to rip through the air in the next moment.

Blue lines crashing into the dirt with such speed and intensity that they could have been mistaken for streaks of falling stars. But they beat into the earth hard enough to rip out chunks of dirt and dust, creating a veritable screen that was impossible to see through. Impossible to see, but _far_ from easy to not feel.

The impacts shook Louise through her feet, forcing her to fall forward and grip the wall of the hole they were in. Even then, the blows to the earth, the falling spears, made her body rumble as if the bluffs were attempting to rip themselves apart. Or more accurately, Undyne was trying to strike them to nothing. It was not an impossible task, given what Louise watched and felt.

"By the founder," Princess Henrietta whispered. "Such a thing… can anyone survive this?" It was a question that didn't need to be answered. There was no way anyone _could_ survive.

Sir Wardes was surely dead now.

"Yes, your highness." Louise looked away to glare at Agnes. "Twice before now." Only to widen her eyes as shock took over her.

" _Twice?"_ Even Muffet appeared surprised by the number. "No… _surely_ you are jesting, _fair soldier_ ,~" the spider worded herself carefully. "Such a blow would be _impossible_ for any _human_ to survive." Louise could not imagine any monster surviving all the same, especially if they were anywhere similar to Muffet.

"Then watch, carefully." The reply filled Louise with dread.

No sooner were the words said than did the number of spears that had struck the earth subside, turning back to nothing and letting the cloud of ruined earth drift back to the surface. It filled the air with a hush, waiting for vision to return. A time that had Louise gripping the dirt with clenched nails, careless for her appearance and deathly afraid that Agnes would be correct. She hoped now so much that a loyal soldier of the queen was wrong.

But she was not.

Sir Wardes, hat in hand, carrying wand and a new spear, stood tall amongst the destroyed land.

Louise could not put to name her feeling. Relief, for her fiance's life. Dread, for Undyne's failure. Terror, for what it meant.

" _Impossible_ ," Muffet muttered behind her. She had no cruel words to add. "That's _impossible!_ " the terror in the spider's words was accurate to the sight that Louise beheld.

"My word…" the princess followed. "Sir Wardes I… I never knew him so capable." Neither did Louise, and she was aware of how _capable_ Undyne was, unlike her princess or Muffet.

"That _human_. He must be… he must be _determined_ in his cause." The words were seething through her venomous lips. And once more, Louise could not call the spider wrong

" **Angel DAMMIT!** " Undyne bellowed across the way. " **Would you hurry up AND DIE!** " The rage was palpable as the battle was textile. It made Louise take a slow swallow in her throat, forcing down the disgust and fear that was climbing up her. She had to remain calm, she had to remain _focused_. As Undyne's partner and fellow ambassador, she was not permitted to feel anything else while her partner was fighting.

Wardes was speaking again, holding up his spear as he did so. He wasn't yelling like Undyne, so she couldn't hear what he was saying. It only told her that he was calm, poised, and sure of himself. No different than how he appeared at any event belonging to either her family or the matriarchy they were apart of. He was so… determined. Muffet had the right word.

**BOOOM!**

Then they were clashing again, faster still than before. Fast enough for the colors of blue, red, and purple to mix together and twist amongst each other. And the ground continued to shake.

"I don't know where Wardes is pulling this skill from," Agnes whispered on. "But it appears to have done nothing but give him the upper edge." _Now_ Louise turned to the musketeer.

"Undyne may be matched, but she is _certainly_ not losing," she kindly corrected the woman. "Unless my eyes deceive me, Sir Wardes has yet to strike her either, meaning that, at worst, they are _evenly_ matched. But that is to say nothing of how Sir Wardes has to endure or block the lances of Undyne, while she can merely stand and _possibly ignore_ , his wind magic!"

"That is all true," Prince Wales added on. "However, there is something you have not considered, Lady Louise." It took a great amount of patience to not glare at the Prince for his words. "Sir Undyne is the only one attacking, meaning that she is the only one expending much of her energy. Sir Wardes, however, has been keeping his movements minimal, careful, as one would expect in a prolonged battle."

"Prolonged, hmm~?" Muffet questioned. "The very thing that no monster _or human_ could ever create with her. Perhaps this _is_ a problem." Louise didn't understand.

"What? Are you saying that she'll lose because she'll be _too tired_ too continue?" The very idea of it was outrageous. " _She_ is the one who _jumped_ her way to meet Sir Wardes and Agnes the first time, who endured a _tidal wave_ of magic from Count Mott, and the _earth golem's fall_ from Fouquet. The very _idea_ of her tiring in battle is a silly one."

 _BANGBANGBANGB_ **BOOOM! BOOOOOOOM! BOOOOOOM!**

"No more silly or crazy than watching Wardes take on a couple hundred spears." The words of the musketeer were sharp, but so was their point. Louise glared at her regardless. "There is nothing we can do now, but hope and watch." Her teeth grit with the words. Louise's did the same.

And watch she did. Watched as Undyne and Wardes moved across the battlefield with exchanging blows and clashing steel. As they parried and struck at one another, but neither gaining on the other. An exchange of weapons, but never of blood. Magic fired, but never reaching, or creating, any lasting damage.

It forced Louise to bite her lips as it continued, wondering with a trembling body if it was truly a just idea coming here. If there was nothing she could do but endure the sight of her partner fighting then… what was the purpose?

Was there anything she could do? There had to be _something_ she could do as the monster's _partner!_

**BOOOM! BOOOOOOOM! BOOOM! BOOOOOOOM!**

And like an epiphany, it was there.

"Prince Wales!" She yelled over the sounds of battle. "Princess Henrietta!" Both members of a royal family turned to her. "Gather close and I'll try and send you back to Tristian!"

The nobles widened their eyes in response.

"Lousie, NO!" The crowned princess yelled back. "I will _not_ leave you here amongst this fighting alone! Not while I am already here!" She was not alone with her decree.

"I agree with Henrietta!" The prince of Albion yelled back all the same. "I will not retreat from my homeland while it exists under and unjust and traitorous rule! To allow your familiar to fight in my steed would be an insult to the men who have died for this land!" Undyne came to mind at his words.

"The very reason Undyne is _fighting_ is for your safety!" She yelled back. She would need to apologize later for her rudeness in her voice. "It is why Princess Henrietta was to wait in Tristian, and why she came to save or aid you, Prince Wales! To do nothing while she fights is to spite her!" It was why she would not do _nothing_ now.

 _BANGBANGBANGB_ **BOOOM!** _BANGBANGBANGB_ **BOOOM!** _BANGBANGBANGB_ **BOOOM! "GRAH!"**

And if Undyne could speak beyond her battle, she would agree.

"Louise is right!" Agnes yelled back. "Your highness, you and the Prince can return to the royal guard and remain safe! She and I and wait for Undyne." It was the best course of action.

"Should I _accompany_ them~?" Louise had forgotten about the spider, even given her appearance and close proximity. "To ensure their _safety, Ahuhuhuhuhu~?_ "

"We will need _nothing_ because we are not _leaving!_ " Prince Wales yelled back. "Again! I will not choose cowardice in the face of a battle such as this! Though I cannot assist, I will _not_ flee!" His hand gripped the shoulder of Princess Henrietta tightly. She fell back into him with a nod of her head.

"And I will not abandon Prince Wales _nor_ Sir Undyne!" She followed. "A princess is meant to inspire her subjects and I will not inspire _abandonment of the field of battle!_ " they weren't going to listen, it clear as much.

In all the time that Louise had been with Princess Henrietta, in their youths and time recent, she could recount only a few times the princess wore such a determined expression. But in none of those times did she fail to receive what she was fighting for.

She was always determined to gain her way when she believed herself just, and this was no exception.

The Princess and Prince would stay to watch Undyne's battle.

_TWANG!_

Even as Louise felt her heart drop. She looked back to the field of battle, seeing what she prayed not to. Be it a true lull in battle or the swiftness of her eyes, Louise beheld a moment that could have been frozen in time.

Undyne and Sir Wardes were visible again, solid figures and not blurred lines dancing around the battlefield. They were standing across form one another, crouched in different attacks and both in the follow through of them. Wares with hands extended, arms taught, and a spear gripped in the reverse of its grasp. Undyne leaning forward, Derflinger in one hand and her liege's lance held behind her with the other.

Louise saw their weapons. She saw how Sir Wardes had his aimed at Undyne, how _King Asgore's_ red lance was taunt behind her.

And how Derflinger was shattered at his base.

" _No_." Louise whispered with the word with wide and terrified eyes.

Derflinger, the rusted blade of grating words, was nothing but a hilt in Undyne's hand. Shattered remains were falling to the ground, nothing remaining to strike or hold. Perhaps even nothing of him left.

He was gone. He was a destroyed weapon.

No more words of wisdom, no more puns, no more comforting thoughts, no more callous jokes, nothing at all. Not even as a defense in the field of battle for Undyne.

Not a thing that could stop the strike of Wardes's spear-

_SHINK!_

-As it impaled through the blue-scaled monster.

" _UNDYYYYYYNE!_ "

She cared not for her princess, the prince, the musketeer, or monster that tried to stop her. Louise ran from cover, barreling towards her fallen partner, the _impaled_ monster. She didn't' care for the army that stood far ahead of her, she didn't care for her _disgusting traitor_ of a fiancée that glowered above her partner, she only cared for her partner.

For the monster that was bleeding out upon the ruined ground.

" _Undyne! UNDYNE!_ " She continued to yell her loudest, wand in hand determined to blow Wardes _down to hell_! She was determined to do it the moment she ensured her partner was okay! Because Undyne had to be okay!

She was her friend, she was invincible!

" _Undyne!_ Undyne." Louise's frantic voice rose and fell as she collapsed next to her kneeling friend, hands over the dry wounds that impaled her. Grabbing at the sword that barreled through her chest. No, that wasn't real, it was fake.

This was all fake. Undyne wouldn't have bene hurt like this. Triangle class nobles couldn't phase her and… and she had to save the Underground and get her armor back. She had so much more to do that this _couldn't_ be real!

"Ah, it appears my beloved fiancé _has_ arrived! I do apologize I was not present to see you come. An error on my judgement, I promise you, I will not soon repeat." Louise ignored the boisterous declaration of the damned and disgraced Griffon Captain. He didn't matter _at all!_ "Have you come to see her beloved familiar, rightfully defeated by the _determined human_."

" _Shut up!_ " Louise yelled at him, even as focused on the monster beneath her hands, leaning against her. Undyne wasn't hurt. She was… just tired. A monster like her could sleep like the _dead_! Besides, she hadn't fallen down yet!

Her focus was back on Undyne. Her breath was shaking because… because she was trying to collect herself. Who knew that Wardes could actually land a hit? But that was it, just a hit, a laughable wound at best.

"Y-You're going to be okay, Undyne," Louise spoke on, pushing dainty hands against the course blue scales of her partner. She ignored the way the losoe folds of her clothing fell away, torn and ripped to shreds. That didn't matter at all. "We'll… we'll get you back to Tristain a-a-and a _royal water_ mage will heal you, promptly and quickly. Y-You know how I _hate_ to wait."

" _Tons…_ " The word passed like a loose whisper from her lips. It was the _quietest_ thing she'd ever heard the monster say. Louise bit her lips to keep herself from interrupting a words more. "Shouldn't… be here…"

"O-Of course I should!" Louise yelled again, her hands having dropped her wand. It wasn't important right now. She… she needed to make sure that Undyne was okay. She could pick it up later. "You gave me a _terrible_ fright with your sudden departure and then news of a _traitor_ in the ranks!" Still she refused to look at her ex-fiancé. "It'd be a-an insult to m-my name not to… check up on you."

"Heh… thanks…" Undyne continued to speak the words through deep breaths. Deep breaths were _good_.

Deep breaths meant she was still holding on, _not that there was anything wrong_ , but falling asleep would be completely unacceptable. It would be rude to do so when the prince and princess of two separate nations were in the nearby audience. Worse yet, while that fight she'd always asked for was standing just a few scant feet away.

"Come on, Undyne," Louise spoke commandingly as she tried to shake the monster. It felt like trying to push a wall, one with a rotten base. Slowly slipping to one side, falling to pieces in her hands. The noble stopped her forceful shoves immediately, settling for grabbing the monster once more. "J-Just hold on, you're… you will be fine. Just like we promised before, a-aginst Fouquet a-and Mott. This is… this is _nothing_ to you."

"Feels… like it…" Y-Yes! _Yes!_ Louise nodded vigerously at the words, quiet as they were.

"Yes! _Absolutely nothing_! Just a-"

"Feel… nothing…" No, no, no that wasn't right. Louise's hair shook with the words.

"It appears that even the monster can tell when it's time is up," the _damnable_ wizard spoke from above her. Louise dug her fingers into Undyne's scales over looking up at the reprehensible man. Perhaps the pain would wake her partner up. "Like any great beast of the wild, past or present, it can tell when it is beaten, and accepts the coming darkness, the return to the void."

That was not happening!

 _"That is not HAPPENING!_ " Louise shouted up at her former lover now, heedless of the many eyes that watched her. All she cared to see was the perplexed look on the man's face, and her _intense desire_ to see it blown away. "I won't let _you!_ "

Her hand swept across the ground, grabbing her fallen wand and aiming it up in a moment. Years of dropping it had made picking it up and righting it a secondary act. And the spell she wanted was uttered across her lips more than the desires of her family.

" _FIREBA-" TWANG!_

Louise let out a sharp cry as she drew back her hand, pulled in pain and free of a wand.

She looked down at the wand, her precious tool for much of her life at the magic academy, sliced in two and scattered along the broken surface of the battlefield. She drew her hand to her chest, feeling rivulets of blood wash down her palm. It was cut, though not deep. In fact, she likely had the worst injury here. There was no way Undyne would argue with that, _none!_

"I apologize, Louise," the _damnable_ and _corrupted_ man spoke, as if his words were sweet honey. To Louise, she was being force-fed vinegar. "Novice as you are with the craft of your magic, you are still more dangerous than any mage I'd dare to face. And I fear this little scuffle with the monster has soured your opinion of me."

"My opinion for you cannot be made any worse, _Wardes_ ," she snarled his name, hissing like the cats her sister loved. "You cannot be and will _never be_ worse to me than you are now! _No human can!_ " Be they commoner or noble in blood!

"Be rest assured, my dear, this little tryst will not last," he spoke with a wave of his hand, _dismissing her_. She growled at him, feral in her mind. "I will replace your wand when we return to Albion. The nobles there will be thrilled to know I not only exposed the corrupted dealings of the monarchy to them, but that I also removed the likely largest threat from their rival neighbors."

"You've done _no such thing_!" He hadn't, he really hadn't. "You've only succeeded in, in, _angering_ her!"

And she knew it to be the truth. Her loyal friend would be filled with such a rage that she would tear through the _treacherous_ man like a blade through rotted wood, tearing him apart and letting the carnage of the battle terrify the _equally traitorous_ soldiers behind him. She looked to Undyne, ready to see the monster stand.

She was not… she… she needed motivation! Like in the castle battle with Fouquet!

"U-Undyne, _UNDYNE!_ " She yelled her familiar's name, her partner's name. Tiny hands grasp the angled and scaly face of her familiar, pulling her up to see the golden eye of the monster. It was bleary and unfocused, her already battle-hardened features filled with growing scars… they wouldn't last. " _Undyne_ , you _have_ to get up!"

"Louise…" the monster spoke on. That wasn't it!

" _You have fight to finish!_ " She yelled again. " _You… YOU_ have so much more that you needed to do! I will not accept some… some half-arsed resignation on the field of battle you so _excelled_ in!" She simply wouldn't! No noble who had met her would!

"Pinkette…" Louise shook her head until her infamous locks hit the monster's face, like wind on the mountains.

"You have _so_ many people who'd _love_ to hear you talk about this!" She yelled into her face still. Why wasn't she _listening?_ Why wasn't she getting up!? " _Siesta_ would love to hear you talk about this, _that damn spider_ would probably back you some sickly sweet treat for it! _I-I'm_ sure even _the princess_ would be _enthralled_ in this tale!"

"It would seem she would be." Louise completely _ignored_ the man's words, especially the _pride_ she heard slipping through the words. "Though it appears, from where she stands, she may already be aware of what is coming." So he saw the princess, that _didn't matter_.

Once Undyne stood up, it would be all over!

"Y-you _have_ to play the _piano again!_ " She yelled now. "We didn't get to finish s-so it's only appropriate we have a _make up session_. A-And my home! My _family!_ You have yet to see them all! It was a promise we made that you would!"

The monster wasn't speaking, her head felt _heavy_ in Louise's hands. She kept it up as best as her thin arms could.

"And _y-your family!_ " Louise continued on. "I… I have met your friends yet! The _skeleton,_ the _dogs,_ the _snowmen_ , all of them! I… You were going to show them to me a-a-and brag _all about them!_ " Louise let herself smile. She knew it'd be amazing when she saw it.

Almost as amazing as the ghost of a smile, the smallest she'd ever seen, hover over the gnarled lips of Undyne.

"Louise…" the pink haired noble saw, more than heard, the monster whisper through her torn and loose jaw. No, it was just an illusion. Undyne was _fine._

" _Get… away…_ "

"Huh?" She let out, before the muscular hand of the monster shoved her away.

_SHINK!_

And let a sword impale itself through her twice more.

Louise couldn't speak, she could hardly breathe. Her eyes didn't dare blink. Otherwise she may convince herself this still wasn't real.

But it was real. And when she did finally blink, tears rolled out with her voice.

" _UNDYYNE! UNDYYYYYNE!_ " She screamed at her partner. " _NO! GET UP! THIS_ ISN'T _WHERE YOU ARE SUPPOSED TO STOP!"_ Louise made to move, but she found her limbs useless.

Not a leg or even an arm could support her. She felt to he ground, unwilling to brace her head for fear it would have her look away from her friend, a friend with red hair covering her still face.

" _GET UP! UNDYNE GET UP!"_ She continue to screech, yelling with all the might her mother once tried to force into it did as much good now as the hours of training had done before.

Nothing… Undyne remained motionless. There was nothing.

" _Please_ …" Her voice implored, tears clogging her throat. " _Please_ get up…" but she didn't.

Undyne, impaled by spear and sword, caught on the ground with a still body. A goreless corpse… with a _monster_ standing over her.

"You may not hear this, and I apologize if you do not," the _detestable_ and _unredeemable_ _bastard_ spoke above her partner, lowering himself to his knees to look her partner in the eye. "But you were never more than a stepping stone in this world, Sir Undyne. A placeholder for the greater things to come."

Louise wanted to shout at the _monster_ , to _kill him_ , but she couldn't. Her throat spasmed wildly and what little noise she could make was muted through wet gasps and tears.

"I will return this lance of yours, I will return your master of yours, just as any knight loyal and honorable as myself should. I believe you would do no different for me." Louise would though. She would tear him apart and leave him to die!

It was all… so unfair. Why was this happening?

"I am sorry this had to fall to you, but it was not something I could risk upon your morals." The bastard lifted his hand, flicking at the spear that kept Undyne from falling to the ground completely. A disgrace to her form. "Be sure that I will keep your master safe, as I promised her parents I would years ago."

Louise couldn't even begin to care about the threat directed at her. She couldn't care when her friend was the one who was dead. What worse could be done to her now.

Her head finally fell, letting her tears fall to the marred earth beneath her, fists gripping at the torn grass. She had lost, completely and utterly, in the worst of ways.

She had lost her friend.

"The wind is howling," the man spoke on. "Let it spread you across the world."

Louise felt him approaching her now, boots clapping across the grass as he made for her. She didn't care what he did anymore. There was nothing more he could do. Rip at her hair like the children from school, degrade her like her mother and sister, ignore her like the rest of the nobility, she had endured it all already. And he had already done the one thing she had yet to experience, the one torture she could do without.

She had lost a friend before her eyes.

"Are you ready to leave, Louise?" He asked from above her, kindly and sweet. Louise felt steaming coals being dropped across her back, warning her to not disagree. "I assure you that once we do, we will not need to harm the others. You know my honor to be true, as true as my love for you." Neither were true facets to this cruel world he mocked to protect. The corpse strung into the ground was proof of it.

But she had no other ways to disagree. There was no where for her to go.

Louise opened her mouth to speak, prepared to let her life be sold away for her liege and comrades, no different than Undyne before her. She could manage a simple word.

" _No_." Someone else did for her.

* * *

Undyne growled the word out between dry lips, forced from a pair of lungs that were already fading away. It took all her strength to utter the singular word, with a spear and a sword pinned between her in a way that she knew should mean falling down. And she was close to falling down, so close that she had used her last chance to utter a singular answer for her partner, to keep her from making the worst mistake. She was supposed to fall down now.

But she refused.

" _You're not taking her… anywhere_ ," the words flowed from a part of her she didn't even comprehend. Her lips? Her mind? Her soul? They were all equally possible. Any of them could have been it. Because she knew that she couldn't let Louise be taken away by the demon of a human that had done this to her. He wanted to, and he was close to it.

But she refused.

She twisted her neck up, staring at the man as he glared at her, mouth agape and afraid, of _her_. Through a golden eye that was so desperate to close and arms that felt like they belonged in a water bed, she glared at him. She lifted her arms until they started to cry out in protest, dragging her legs across the dirt until the earth gave way for her. Everything was telling her to stop.

But she refused.

"What… in the Founder's name?" the man whispered, weaponless and sure she had fallen down. Too bad his blade and spear had kept her up. It kept her up long enough to feel her chest push out, to fight against the weapons impaling her. They were nothing. They were trying to keep her down, to drag her back to the earth until she gave up.

But she refused.

"U-Unnnn…" the pinkette couldn't even say her name. Undyne didn't blame her. It was hard just to recall it. It was hard to remember much more than the pain of being impaled twice over and nearly turning to dust. But she didn't let her mind go away, she didn't let go of everything she'd promised the others to do. She was supposed to fall down.

But she refused.

" _You're not taking anything… from anyone."_ Undyne pushed herself to her feet, standing near her tallest with weapons sticking out of her like a pin cushion. The air was as dead as she nearly was, letting her stare at the man in silence. He was right though. The wind was howling.

And she refused to fall to it.

" _My body_ … _feels like it's falling apart."_ She lifted her hands to her good eye, seeing the trembling blue limbs, about as solid as water. A single breath and she might just turn to dust. So close to falling down and returning to the earth she'd been born under. " _Like at any second… I could just… turn to dust_."

But she refused.

" _But deep… deep inside of me, there's a fire raging,_ " She felt it, she felt it keeping her bones and skin from turning to dust, letting her muscles work and lungs breath. It was what was keeping her from giving up. It filled her like the waters of Waterfall… like the laughter of _friends_. " _An inferno that… won't let me die._ "

"How…" The man asked again. Undyne didn't answer. He didn't _deserve_ an answer. She didn't understand herself.

The only thing she understood, the only thing important, was what was right in front of her. Her golden eye focused on the man, feeling the fire blossom with energy. Her limbs felt solid as the steel still piercing her.

" _This isn't just about humans anymore, is it?_ " She asked. What he said before she had nearly died, what he was talking about before… he knew something, and he was going to use it for all sorts of bad things. " _If I let you take her… if I fail… it'll be the end of so much more than just us. It'll be you trying to end everything on the Surface_."

He didn't deny it. The slimy demon didn't even shake his head. Maybe he was focused on her, maybe he was listening, or maybe he was praying to whatever god the humans kept calling the Founder for forgiveness. Undyne didn't care, not that part of him. She cared about the girl behind him. Her friend, who had nearly died trying to help her.

" _Humans, the Surface, Asgore, the Underground, everything… you'll destroy it all, wont you?_ " His jaw finally closed. Undyne's didn't. " _Everyone… everyone's hopes… everyone's dreams… everyone's future, killed in an instant… for nothing."_

"Why would you care for that? How did you even come to know it?" The man finally asked, the bravado and cheer in his voice gone. It was from Undyne's as well. " _HOW!?_ Answer me, _beast?_

" _I can feel… Louise's heart… BEATING with mine_." And she could. With a hand to her chest, the same chest that had to filled holes puncturing through and out of it, she could feel the souls of the humans crying out. Fear, panic, wonder, confusion, all of it. She could feel uncertainty, she could feel panic.

The pinkette was staring at her, even as the man whirled around to her, confused or in horror, Undyne didn't care. She only cared about the tears and terror the human felt. It was a chocking feeling, so much at once, even with a fire that kept her from turning to dust. But Undyne didn't let it consume her. Something else refused to let it. Something else she felt in those hearts beating across the surface.

Hope. The hope that she would win, and the hope that she would win. Louise believed in her.

" _And we have one goal_." Undyne continued to speak, staring at the man with a growing grin. Her lips felt stronger than her teeth, and her teeth felt like they could rip through stone with ease. " _To defeat YOU!_ "

She reached out across the plain, willing back the weapon that had been given to her, the legacy tool that fell to her after her king had _fallen down_. She didn't watch it, she didn't look for it, she didn't need to. _SLAP_! It landed into the palm of her hand without an issue, right where it belonged. The man looked rightfully terrified of her. The human was cowering.

" _Human… no,"_ Undyne shook her head, even as she lowered _her_ lance. " _No, traitor_ , _you will not win._ " There was no way she could let him.

"You do not have a chance!" Yes, she did. And it was standing right behind him.

"She… she does," the pinkette spoke, Louise spoke, through tears and grins. Undyne had the same look on her. "Do you know _why_ , Wardes?" The look the kid had was feral.

It wasn't right for Undyne to not at least try and match it.

 _"Because I, UNDYNE, will STRIKE YOU_ DOWN!"

Then the world went white.

Not her vision, the world itself.

Maybe it was from her, maybe it was the Angel finally cutting and offering a break. But whatever it was, Undyne's good eye wasn't enough to see.

She didn't need it to feel.

Feel her limbs twisting and growing, feeling her muscles bulging and rippling, feeling her clothes mending and hardening, feeling _everything_ gone on around her and through her. It was the sensation of swimming and not having a direction, of being thrown into a true ocean, not the dump in Waterfall, and letting yourself drift away.

It was exactly what Undyne felt, with the water being the emotions of the brat that had brought her here. It was at that thought she realized what was happening. Something unheard of in the underground.

Magic was tearing her apart.

No, that wasn't right.

Her DETERMINATION was holding her together.

The DETERMINATION to see the sky again from the school spire.

The DETERMINATION to have a nice chat with Siesta over tea.

The DETERMINATION to talk to Muffet about all the things she'd seen.

The DETERMINATION to reforge Derflinger and give him the best kind of sheath a sword could have.

The DETERMINATION to take the princess to the Underground for the rest of the monsters.

The DETERMINATION to win. To win and save Louise.

The white faded away.

She looked down at herself when it was gone.

Undyne wore her armor again, but better. Spiked and sleek as if newly forged.

Undyne was the same before, but better. Not a weapon in her and feeling like she was 500% stronger.

Undyne was seeing everything on her, but better. It helped that she didn't have a patch over her eye, letting her see, for the first time in a long time, out of both of her eyes.

She twisted her head, finding Louise beneath her. The pinkette was marveling up at her, a tear-stained grin sporting underneath the pink locks. That was a shame, cause the human looked her best when she was tear-free.

Undyne… Undyne was sure she'd never looked _better_.

Her good _eyes_ turned to find the human, the pathetic worm that had gotten to her out of sheer luck and flimsy determination, the useless kind. The fake kind. The kind that had him running back to his army of humans, all of them taking up arms against her.

She saw the blades reflecting through the air like metal shavings in Alphys's lab, enough bows and arrows notching to make that old anime look like child's play. A roar of cheer erupting from the humans, some pathetic whimper of a battle cry against her lone voice. They were all just bravado, trying to make themselves look better.

But they couldn't be, because they weren't _her_ and they weren't her _friends._ Because they weren't either, they didn't matter.

Undyne twisted her red lance, aiming it at the human army and grinning with the manic joy that she felt. She was alive, she had friends to protect, and she was _not going to fail_.

" _You're gonna have to try a lot harder than THAT!_ "

**Notes for the Chapter:**

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	24. The Magic Is Howling

She truly was a monster. It was a fact that Louise could not ignore nor justify.

The monster that she had summoned, the partner that she had become, standing with a sheen of steel upon her darker than anything else Louise's eyes had beheld. A starless night would be bright in comparison to the thick hide of metal. And yet, it was detailed with stripes of bright light, glowing warmer and brighter than the fireplace in the chill of winter. Between the folded sheets and through the sharp cracks, the light glowed.

It glowed in a way that gave a menacing aura to the black steel that it underlined, turning the already sharp points of the armor into the tips of blades and spears, the same that Undyne so easily weld. It pulsed to a rhythm that Louise wasn't familiar with but could assume. Assume that it was the heartbeat of the monster who wore the armor.

The monster that had resurrected herself from the door of death. Resurrected with her old armor, with a new conviction, and with a gaze that appeared far more menacing now than ever before. There was little other way to describe the silver light-trailing eye that replaced her eye-patch. An eye that sat above the sure grin of the monster, a grin that was _well_ and truly deserved.

A grin and gaze that was being cast down on Louise.

" _Hey_ ," her partner, _still_ her partner, spoke. " _You doin' okay pinkette?_ " Louise grinned up at the monster, heedless of the nickname. It was a comforting thing to hear, something she knew no other would say so easily.

"I am, now," Louise replied honestly. She was still on her knees, staring up at the monster that towered over her like an indestructible mountain ridge. The casting of light through the edges of her armor certainly helped. "And you? Are you feeling… better?" It was an odd question to ask someone who had just died, or nearly that. But Louise didn't have the heart to feel embarrassed, not when her relief was so much stronger.

" _Yeah, I'm good,_ great _actually,_ " the monster spoke as she flexed her arms, moving the pauldrons and gauntlets of her newly constructed armor. It swung with a smoothness Louise thought once only available to blades and arrows in the midst of a swing or flight. " _Not like I've done this before, but I gotta say I'm glad I got it to work the first time_."

"As am I," she returned to her partner. "As am I…" her voice trailed off, looking down at the patch of land she had nearly resigned herself over before. So close, too close.

Too close to following her _traitor_ of a fiancé to the Founder knew where, leaving behind her liege and kingdom for the vain hope that all would be well. So close to giving up again, for failures that weren't her own. It was a relief that was grand, but nothing more than a speck of ice against a glacier when put in comparison to the resurrection of the monster before her. A monster that Louise didn't wish to leave the side of.

" _Hey_ , _might want to get off of the dirt_ " Undyne spoke. Louise looked up, seeing the vicious black gauntlet of the monster reaching down towards her, offering a way back up. Louise took it without hesitation, careless of the vileness she should have felt, for she felt nothing when she touched the hand of her partner. " _No telling when that guy will strike out again and can't have you lyin' down 'fore he even starts something_." Ah, yes, _him._

The man that Louise now thought of only with a churning sense of bile in her gut and a tempered rage billowing in her soul. It was enough to dim the bright smile she had donned since the apparent rebirth of Undyne. It was not something said monster missed.

" _Don't worry. I got the same feeling here,_ " her partner returned, looking back across the bluffs towards the army that stood across from them. Louise had truly forgotten about them. " _Looks like he's all done with the idea of a duel though. Probably ain't into the idea of a_ fair fight." Given his actions of late, and his motives during the attack, Louise could agree safely with Undyne.

Wardes was a coward, a coward that didn't strike until he knew he was at the advantage. He struck out as an assassin, he held some great tool to make him a match for Undyne, and now he hid behind the army of Albion's cursed men, men that…

Undyne didn't know, or at least, might not know.

"Undyne," Louise spoke to the monster, looking back down at her. "Those men, the army. They are being controlled by Wardes."

" _I got that much figured out,_ " was the snarky return. Louise only shook her head. She didn't understand.

"No, I mean they are being _controlled_ by him." She emphasized the word, holding up her hand as Muffet had done, showing the digits to _both_ eyes of the monster. It was odd seeing the silver of her new eye trace her own fingers. "He is wearing a ring that, according to Muffet, is allowing him to bend the will of those men. They are literally being _controlled and tricked_ by him." The shark jaw of the revived monster worked for a response.

" _Huh. Didn't see that coming_." From a monster that had brought herself back from the edge of death, that was saying something. " _Definitely good to know, though. Beats charging in and getting tricked a second time. Thanks for the heads up, pinkette_." The monster spoke as she gently put the terrifying gauntlet on the top of her head. Louise felt a grin trickle across her face at the contact and words.

It wasn't an action she was privy to enjoy from many others, hardly anyone at that. But for her partner, who had shown her willingness to fight to the death, there was room for an obvious exception. Her family could question her later about it, when they met the monster.

" _Well, guess that means there's only one human in that crowd I gotta aim for then_." Undyne spoke while rolling her shoulders. An action that, formerly would have resounded with grating metal and a terrifying boom, now only showed the malleability of the new armor, spikes seemingly dipping and rising with the action of the monster.

It was impossible to tell if they were alive or not, not with the knowledge of Undyne's magical nature and having used a magical sword only just prior. A blade that she would hold Wardes responsible for, with his _own_ life.

" _HEY! WARDES!_ " The sudden shout from Undyne rocked Louise's head as if she'd been struck. Her hands flew to her ears swiftly. " _You thinkin' of comin' out and going for round two, or is that_ too _impossible for ya?_ " Louise hid her grin behind her hand, humored by Undyne's words. The implication was obvious.

"Your very _existence_ at the moment is _impossible!_ " Wardes shouted in return. The panic was a balm to Louise's worried and frayed nerves. His terror was smooth silk to her mind. "You are a _monster!_ A _creature!_ You should not be _able_ to use _determination!_ You should be _nothing_ but _dust_ and _waste!_ " Confusion, terror, and panic in all the right places. Louise was truly at ease with what she heard.

It flowed through the soldiers the poorly dressed man hid within, the many hundreds of the soldiers shuffling with the spears and lances, their good cheer for a battle having risen and fallen in the opposite pattern of Undyne. It was excellent to see. A demoralized army was an unprepared one. Against the menacing figure of Undyne, they may as well have been new recruits in unfitting armor.

" _Is that what ya think?_ " Louise shivered at the voice. Undyne's voice but… _more_. " _Well ya better get yer eyes checked. Cause from where I'm STANDING, it looks like I've got the better part of determination to spare!_ " Her hands were held out as she spoke, showing off the glow of her nightmarishly black armor, the spikes that protruded from her every limb, and evil eye that glowed in place of her black eye-patch.

It was difficult for Louise to imagine a more comforting sight.

_Sching!_

"No!" Wardes shouted in defiance as he swung down a borrowed blade.

**BOOM!**

" _Yes!"_ Undyne shouted back, slamming her spear into the ground. Louise could only grin.

And the morale of the men dropped faster than stones into the sea.

Their glances among one another were broken and hasty, entire forms twisting to observe the men who fell further behind in line, ranks mixing to put bowmen in the front and lanceheads in the rear, a poor organization no matter whom was at the helm. It only seemed more fitting at that it was the decrepit man that Wardes was. It only showed how vastly unprepared he was for a beast such as Undyne.

But, to his undeserved credit, whom among the kingdoms of the Founder's world could possibly hold even a candle to her?

" _Thought you said he had them under control?_ " Undyne asked, observing the same sight as her. " _Something go wrong with that ring of his? Run out of juice_?" Louise didn't know what the expression meant. She could only surmise an answer.

"I believe it is more proper to guess a requirement for its use has left him." She noted as the army continued to fall deeper into disarray. "Such as an air mage attempting their craft underground, the quantity of supply is low and disreputable, making their spells all the weaker." That spoke of nothing to a water mage in a desert or earth mage across the ocean. Material were necessary for their crafts, any craft in fact.

" _I got that much. Just wonderin' how that factors into the humans over there lookin' 'bout as sure of themselves as the guards back at that school of yours_." Perhaps later she'd correct Undyne for the insulting term, but not at the moment. She wasn't far from the mark, after all.

"To guess that would require guessing the basic material needed for the spell to work," Louise started as she stared ahead. It almost appeared as if the men were retreating or fighting for the will to do so. "Perhaps, and this is only a guess, they are contingent upon the _confidence_ or _determination_ of the one who holds the ring, a soft requirement for any suitable leader of military arms." Political as well, as her mother and father would correct.

" _Makes some sense_ ," Undyne returned, her voice echoing all the same. Louise found it as comforting as a lullaby, especially in comparison to the empty gasps she made only minutes earlier. " _Monsters follow courage and all that, even if we're a bit lacking in the determination department_." Louise _did_ chuckle at that. " _Somethin' funny about that?_ " Despite the silvery eye looking down at her, from a monster garbed in a darkness deserving of midnight, Louise had no fear as she answered.

"I do. It's hard not to, considering how I am standing next to a monster that brought herself back from _death's cold grasp_ merely to continue a fight she never had a reason to join." To call that anything less than determined was an insult to the name's meaning.

An Undyne had the good graces to chuckle as well.

" _Got me there, I'll admit. Pretty easy to tell I'm a special case though, seein' as I made it to the Surface and all._ " The joy Louise had for that fact was something she'd never forsake again. Coming to the Surface from the Underground and joining her in their fight. " _Still doesn't walk me through how come those guys are just about wetting themselves in terror_." That was a rather obvious question, actually.

"Those men, controlled or not, just witness you be impaled twice over after fighting their captain to a near draw, only to stand and continue the fight with a form that appears deserving of its own name." Louise looked back at Undyne, who had a brow of her normal eye quirked. Her silver eye continued to gleam. "Witnessing you come back from the dead likely did no favors for their courage, let alone to Wardes's own."

The monster snorted in response but didn't argue. There was no use in arguing an obvious point.

" _Louise, I gotta favor to ask you_. _"_ The girl looked up at Undyne swiftly, the silver light of her new eye spinning as she looked down at her. It was a confusing sight to say nothing else. " _Kinda big deal, but nothin' too dangerous. Promise ya._ "

"I would do the task regardless of the difficulty or threat." She had no hesitation in her response. There was no reason to think of the truth when it was already nesting at the tip of her tongue. "You have sacrificed more this day than I've seen, or heard, any other Undyne. Whatever you ask, I promise you I can do it." And she meant it. If it was anything from being a distraction to opening a portal for her to jump through, she'd do it. Anything to promise victory for her partner.

" _Great,_ " the monster returned with her sharp toothed grin. " _Then I'm gonna_ _need you to get the Prince and pals outta here 'fore the fighting starts again_." Louise tightly knit her eyes at the command.

It wasn't something she was surprised by. Hardly that. The avoidance of battle was one of the few reasons given for why Undyne was on this trek without Louise in the first place. Still, it was hardly a comforting one knowing that she was being asked to run again, after she had just made it to the battle field.

Discomforting, but necessary.

"I will. I'll leave you with nothing to worry about, _except for him_." She didn't need to clarify just who _he_ was. The grin Undyne gave her said she understood as well.

"Guess that means we're ready to go, huh partner?" Louise almost jumped at the voice.

Her eyes swept down the ground, matched by Undyne who did the same. The pair of them looked across the earth, battered and charred by the first round of fighting with Wardes, something that was surely to become far worse in the coming moments. They weren't focused on that detail, however.

They were focused on the broken blade lying on the ground.

" _Derf?_ " Undyne asked, even as she knelt down to the blade.

Her vicious gauntlet scooped up the handle of the blade, fitting neatly in her palm, almost as if it were molded and folded for the very purpose. Given ow Undyne had made it herself, the possibility was not minute.

" _Are you… alive still?_ " The question was a needed one.

"'Bout as live as a blade me can be," came the squeaky reply. Louise felt a grin pull at her lips. "But I'll admit, Ah ain't as _sharp_ as I used to be." The grin fell rapidly. "Hard to call me _half the blade_ I used ta be." His laughter that followed, hoarse as the steel that covered him, was evidence enough to Louise's mind.

"He's alright," Louise returned, staring at the hilt in Undyne's hand. "My father used to say the blade may hold the power, but it is the hilt that control it. It seems appropriate that his jeers and words are all contained in that pommel of his."

A broken blade in the hand of a monster that had rebuilt herself from near nothing, and whilst near the end. If only the sword could do the same for himself, folding his own steel and sharpening his length. Perhaps than he'd be of use to Undyne.

Right now, however, even a fool could see he had no more purpose on the field of battle.

" _Hey, Louise_ ," Undyne spoke with her echoing voice, the empty socket burning with magic looking down at her. She didn't shy away at the sight, or the grin, that the monster gave her. " _Can ya get Derf off the battlefield for me? He ain't exactly in a good place to fight right now._ " Of course, he wasn't, shattered like untreated steel.

"Of course," her agreement was immediate. She held out her hands, accepting the hilt of the shattered blade. The black gauntlet of Undyne handed Derflinger to her like a delicate flower, but to Louise, he was as heavy as the anvil of a smithy's space. She spoke no words of argument.

"I'd argue _that_ … partner," the blade spoke in return. " _I ain't_ a 100%, but Ah'm not a _rusty ol'_ coward ready ta be thrown away!" Louise could understand the sword's desire, _very_ much so. However, it took only a glance at the monster above her to know that such words would be fruitless to offer. Undyne was no longer listening to arguments. She was ready to hand out punishment.

It was something she did not wish to interfere with.

" _You've done plenty, Derf_ ," Undyne returned, grinning with the mad Cheshire like smile that would split a normal man's face. It was just as concerning that the monster's own was not done the same. " _Now it's time ta let me pick up the slack_."

Given the power that seemingly radiated from Undyne now, Louise had no doubt that she could. That meant only one thing.

It was time to go.

Louise stared at Undyne, her partner, watching her as she turned to face the army that Wardes had amassed, still a far cry from the complete sect of militaristic might as they were before. They were cowed by the sight of Undyne's resurrection, and now they feared the idea of facing such a beast. But the monster didn't appear the same.

Facing what was easily a thousand times her own number, armed with nothing but her magic and a magical lance, she stared ahead with her eyes alight with magic and glee. She was confident, she was ready.

Undyne, her undying partner, was filled with _determination_.

"Knock 'em dead." Louise grinned as she used the improper slang.

" _That and more_ , _promise_." She nodded in agreement.

Louise held up her hand to the monster, balling it into a fist. A lady, let alone a noble, did not make such a vulgar expression of the body when amongst friends and allies. However, Undyne was a monster that had made this same expression many times before. It only made sense to mimic her action before she entered battle again.

The resurrected monster grinned at her through the shark like teeth, balling the digits of her gauntlet and holding them out to Louise's hand.

_Tap_

She wrapped the hard metal against her knuckles. Louise's arm bent at the force, but she kept her grin wide and confidence showing. It was all she could do now, for her partner.

With Derflinger in her hand, the hilt heavier than when the blade was complete, Louise turned and fled back for the hole her liege and friends were buried within. She needed cover, she needed protection, and she needed to ensure her safety. Once they were safe, herself and the royalty, then Undyne would truly have nothing holding her back.

It was the beginning of Wardes's end.

* * *

And she was gone, just like that.

Undyne watched the pinkette, Louise, take off across the field and back to where the rest of the humans were hiding out at. Not the fastest runner, not by far, but she could book it when she had to, that was what was important. Well, that, and getting out of harm's way. That was important too. Actually, probably the most important.

Because Undyne knew what was coming next wouldn't be anything the pinkette could handle.

From the way the humans were shaking across the field from her, they couldn't either.

She rolled her head, looking at the humans that were just about everything she first thought the humans to be. A bunch of short stock, half-pint, overly burdened surface dwellers that only really cared about their numbers over their own ability. Even with a pair of eyes now, she couldn't see a single one among them that looked like a challenge. Heck, not even one that looked like they _wanted_ to fight her.

The swordsmen were basically retreating, the spearmen were raising their lances, the bowmen were spread out like pepper on a plate, and all of it just made Undyne snarl in disgust. _This_ was what nearly killed her? _This_ was what she was nearly killed for?

" _Louise better be right about that ring,_ " Undyne muttered to herself. " _Or else I'm gonna start thinking it wouldn't be worth keeping you lot alive._ " If they heard her, she couldn't tell. The wind was loud against her ears, and even that was dulled by the drumming of her soul. The pounding of her DETERMINATION. A hard fight or not, there was going to be a fight.

And Undyne was not going to lose twice.

Her boots shook the ground as she stepped forward, cracking what little of the dry dirt wasn't already crumbled from her first fight. And, just unlike her first fight, the step she took made the 'army' of men take one back. She could even hear whimpering. That almost made her grin, almost. Snarling was close enough.

Didn't matter what they decided to do though. The punks had tried to kill Louise, the princess, Muffet, and everyone else a hundred yards behind her. Letting them leave without a scratch was something that just wasn't going to happen. She was going to fight even if they-

"Men of Albion!" The voice boomed over the field. Undyne's eyes narrowed at the sound. Oh, she recognized _that_ voice. "Do not let your spirit sway in the face of the monster! Do not be disheartened by her torturous appearance!" Torturous? If that meant they were crapping themselves just by looking at her, she'd take it.

" _What's that traitor up to?_ " Undyne asked herself. She had a good guess, but that was pretty much it. It was a good time to pick out the purple garbed human out of the army. At least then she'd know where to chuck her lances.

"Does this not show the proof of your former prince's deceit?! Is this not evidence that the family you swore to serve and chosen to ally with others but yourselves?!" Oh great, _that_ was what he was doing. Undyne had seen a few anime villains do the same thing to the heroes' families before. Figures the Wardes guy would do the same thing.

That wasn't bad though. What was bad was that it was _working_.

"Who else by a traitorous king would have a monster such as this serving him?! Who else by a user of your trust would have such a beast defend him!?" Oh great, and now the humans were starting to look a little more confidant. Undyne felt her snarl grow in turn. That human _really_ knew how to piss her off. That wasn't a good talent to have.

"To him, I say that now you show the former prince of _your_ true strength! Show him that he was a fool to throw away your loyal spirits and arms for a deceptive monster of the deep!" It was a good thing Undyne had two eyes now, because she just about felt one of them pop. From her growing rage or the blood rushing to her head, she didn't know.

What she did know was the humans were starting to cheer, loudly.

Loud enough that even the wind seemed dull again, leaving Undyne standing alone in the battle-scared field and staring out at the army of enraptured humans. They were raising their weapons into the air, yelling up at the sky like they owned the thing. It was like they _actually believed_ that traitor's words! It was just so damn annoying!

All of it! She was killed, the pinkette nearly died, Derflinger was broken in half, and the Angel knew what was happening to the Prince, Princess, Agnes, and freaking Muffet! And the humans were cheering like they had already won?

**_BANG_ **

" _Be… QUIET!_ " Undyne roared with a whip of her arm.

She'd been practicing her throws with her lances since she could first use her magic. She could chuck them about half way across the Underground by now, far enough to clear all of Waterfall and just about nab the doorway of the ruins. She threw them with her left arm, right arm, and sometimes just a whip of another lance she kept on hand. She _knew_ how her lances were supposed to fly.

This lance, charged by her DETERMINATION, might as well have been a bullet from one of Alphys's guns.

With a new set of ears, Undyne could _hear_ the lance fly over the army, way above their heads but tearing through the air faster than any of them could see. Heck, she had a new pair of eyes, glowing for that matter, and she almost missed it!

**_BOOOOOM!_ **

What she didn't miss, and no one else, was the explosion of dirt that came from its impact.

Undyne didn't like bombs, not in combat at least. They were too easy to hurt yourself with and impossible to use when you were training to be a protector. Anything that could hurt the little monster kids just as easily as invading humans wasn't something she was prone to use. That being said, it was the only way to possibly describe the impact of her lance.

And explosion like a bomb, shooting dirt, trees, and whatever else made up the bluffs high into the air. It shut up the army nice and quick.

Still wasn't enough.

" _You talk too much!_ " Undyne roared. To the army, knowing that traitor was going to hear her. Damn the humans who thought that he was worth defending! " _You_ attacked _us after swearing you'd help stop a war! You_ betrayed _us, for something that I can't even name!_ _You_ mock me _because I've more scaled on me than you've got sense in your head!_ " Her metal digit pocked the side of her skull.

By the Angel, her gauntlet was sharp.

" _You wanna attack me, then do it!_ " She kept her volume, _BANG_ , even as she made another spear appear next to her. Red to blue held in opposite hands, both of her lances. " _But don't start actin' like you've got the moral high ground._ " Cause that would be a bad idea.

Her head twisted, the long red of her hair swinging between the spikes of her armor. She made sure every tooth of her jaw was on display as she grinned at the 'army' of humans. Grinning made humans terrified of her, so it was the perfect time to do it.

" _You'll just piss me off even more_." That was a lie. She wasn't sure it was even possible.

The calm was there then, for just a moment. She could _feel_ it. Asgore had told her once about the calms before storms up on the surface, how the air would get dead as a monster that had just fallen down, like nothing was going to make it move. For even a monster like him, it was enough to make his hair stand on end and get his heart pumping. Because of the calm came the storm.

And the storm that followed would roar.

"Men of Albion! _ATTACK!_ " Undyne grit her teeth.

Even through the thick of her armor, she could feel the ground shake as the hundreds of humans began to run towards her. They were yelling like they had before, but now they were yelling as they held swords up into the sky, shields in front, lances aimed at her, and the Angel knew what else. All she knew was that they were going to try and kill her, again. And that was something she just couldn't let happen.

_Booom_

The ground exploded behind her as she jumped forward, her boots slamming into the dirt to propel her forward. She felt chunks of the surface flying off as she slammed down on them, tearing it up worse than her lances had before. Didn't matter. She was doing more damage just _running_ than she had throwing spears. Didn't matter.

It didn't matter because on the fifth stride to her run, she jumped. Jumped, as in, pushed off the ground as hard as she could with both legs. Hard enough to send her barreling fast enough through the skies to make the wind feel heavy and gravity weak.

And at the apex of her jump, she looked down.

The first thought she had was how small everything was. Just a bunch of colorful dots over a ruined bluff, clouds over the cliffs edge and forests on the other side. And she was hanging in the air above them all, staring down at them as she turned lazily in the air. They were all really tiny, even when she was standing right next to them.

But Undyne couldn't forget who was down there. She couldn't forget _why_ she was doing this. And the why was why she let herself twist till her head was aimed at the ground.

_BANGBANGBANGBANGBANGBANGBANGBANGBANGBANGBANGBANGBANGBANGBANG_

With dozens of her spears all around her.

She grinned into the wind as gravity began to pull her back down. Her lances joined her in the fall.

Through her new set of eyes, doubtlessly leaving a shining trail behind her fall, she saw the humans of the 'army' start to scatter. She was coming down fast, fast enough to see them turn from dots to figures to screaming faces. And she grinned.

**_BOOOOOOOOM!_ **

Grinned as she slammed into the earth, hard and fast enough to have boulders fly into the air, sheets of ground upturn like plates, and dirt to fly into the air like dust.

**_BOOMBOOMBOOMBOOMBOOMBOOMBOOMBOOMBOOM_ **

Then her spears followed suit, and it was raining doom on the humans that wanted to hurt her friends. Around the crater she had made and the hundreds of humans that thought they could beat in her a fight. They were wrong.

" _Not done yet!_ " Undyne roared, raising her lances into the air. The ground, already divided by her fall, splintered into dust and rubble as she ran up the columns her impact had made. The humans were still gathering themselves as she ran forward, picking themselves out of the dirt or avoiding the falling spears, rubble, and whatever else came from the sky.

She wasn't going to wait for them now. They didn't deserve it. None of the humans stood a chance. The humans that were lucky enough to see her coming weren't fast enough to do anything else.

Nothing but grit their teeth as her lances struck at them.

If she was throwing bullets before, Undyne realized, then she was treating these humans like tennis balls. Because once they hit the shafts of her lances, they went flying away with an impact loud enough to make even Asgore wince. Undyne just grinned, large and wide enough to feel her scales ache. She felt great!

She felt DETERMINED.

Then, she felt _cowardice_.

_DING!_

Undyne's red lance rang out as she swung it to her side, stopping when it hit the extended blade of another soldier. A soldier that was gowned in purple and wearing a _stupid_ feather hat. No soldier at all.

" _Traitor!_ " Undyne roared at the man, her eyes alight with fire as she saw his own tremble at the sight of her. Good! " _You're determined to live, I'll give ya that! But I'm determined for my friends! Guess what matters more?!_ " He didn't have to say anything, she already knew. And by the way he snarled at her, even as she shook like Doggo after he'd been petted, Wardes knew to.

"Silence!" he yelled regardless, her wand whipping out to her. It gave Undyne a chance to stare at the tip, taking in that she could see it with two eyes instead of one, before a wall of wind slammed into her, hard as before she died.

It pushed her back across the fractured earth, the already loose rubble and stone creating what could be seen as an avalanche behind her. The monster's teeth grit as she curled in on herself, armor grating against the ground louder than Alphys's nails down her blackboard. Sounded about as pleasant.

But she never took her eyes off of the traitor. She watched him as he raised his wand into the air, getting ready for another _cheap spell!_ _BANG_. Undyne did the same, but even better.

"Archers! On my position!" The purple traitor yelled as he blew another column of air out of his twig. The dust and rubble that was still falling above them was blown away in the next moment, leaving nothing but the clear sky above to be seen.

That, and the remains of the 'army' standing around them. It didn't take Undyne long to see the archers were taking the traitors words as commands.

" _That stupid piece of-_ " her curse got no further.

"RELEASE!" Undyne heard the 'twang' of strings all around her.

Then she saw a herald of arrows flying above her. Her gauntlets grated against her lances, holding them tighter as her eyes focused on the sharp flying sticks. There were hundreds of them, they were filling up the sky, and they were all heading at her…

… so damn _slow!_

_BANGBANGBANGBANGBANGBANGBANGBANGBANGBANGBANGBANGBANGBANGBANGBANGBANGBANGBANGBANGBANG_

" _Too slow!_ " Undyne yelled out, her lances rising from the shattered earth around her. She swung her red lance upwards like a bat again, her blue lances flying like the bullets she had before.

They rose up and struck at the flying arrows, knocking everyone of them from the sky.

Each of her lances exploded into the blue light of her magic, forcing the humans to cry out and shield their eyes. Not her, not Undyne. She wasn't going to go blind in her new eyes _that_ easily! Not when she had someone to find!

Once more her boots tore through the ground, ignoring the screaming and scrambling humans that avoided her. They didn't matter. They weren't traitors, just idiots. The only traitor she was looking for was wearing a stupid purple hat.

And she found him, standing in the middle of a crowd of spearman, his wand raised.

" _WARDES!_ " Undyne yelled his name again as she charged forward, swinging her lance once more. It tore through the wooden pike of the first soldier, sending splinters and steel in a hundred different directions. She followed through with a kick, denting the unlucky human's armor and pushing him like a bowling ball into his friends.

It was a _strike_ if she ever saw one. Not time to laugh though, not yet.

 _Clang!_ Her lance blocked another human's spear, just before her other lance spun and shattered it. _Clang!_ Undyne lifted her gauntlet, letting the metal pikes of the two humans get stuck in the spikes of her guard. A quick twist of her wrist and the poles shattered like the others. _CLANG!_ She swept her own blue lance high, tearing off the sharp points of the high-raised lances.

She charged forward in all the same way, tearing the weapons from the humans into scrap metal and dust, striking at the humans till they fell over like wet towels, _never_ letting up as she let her flaming new eyes stare at the humans, watching them as they screamed and charged or yelped and ran. They didn't matter, she needed to find _that_ human.

_There!_

Undyne lunged forward the moment her eyes saw him, Wardes swinging his stupid wand in the air like he was going to do anything that mattered. Not with her here he wasn't! A scream tore through her lungs as she raised her red lance, ready to strike the human down.

**_CLANG!_ **

It slammed into the human's raised blade, sending him to his knees with a cry of pain. The air erupted around them as they met, sending Undyne's red hair whipping into the wind and the traitor's hat flying off of his head. The rest of the 'army' was thrown backwards in the same moment. Exploding air had that kind of effect.

" _You think you gotta chance against me know?!_ " Undyne hissed at him, violently, as she leaned over her lance. She stared into his eyes, trembling things, as she bared her sharp teeth. " _You think any of your lame tricks are gonna do anything to me?!_ " There was no way they could.

He was crafty. She was DETERMINED.

The human didn't respond, at least not fast enough. Another human charged Undyne from her side, raising a sword in the air and running at her full tilt. Too _freaking_ slow. Her blue lance swung out _BANG_ popping another into existence, and sending it barreling towards the human. It knocked the soldier off his feet and sent his sword flying yards away. Good enough.

"I don't need to beat you, monster." Undyne threw her attention back to Wardes, scowling down at him with her flaming eyes. "I only have to _out last_ you!" That _almost_ made her grin. Like a pathetic meat sack of a human could keep up with a monster like her. He wasn't made of magic. "And with my army, that will be all the _easier!_ " He jumped back from her, slipping out of her strike. Too _slow!_

Undyne spun on her black metal heel, whipping her red lance out at the human punk. She felt it strike true, earning a _pained_ yell from the human traitor. He screamed through the air the same way the other humans had. She turned, waiting to see him splattered against the upturned earth.

But instead she was greeted with the sight of a bunch of humans pointing sticks at her. She'd seen enough of those.

And worst yet, Wardes was still looking at her through the crater of the angled ground.

"Mages! Prepare!"

Undyne felt the air _burn_ around her. It was like walking into Hotland without a cool down, getting the full blast of the furnace that was the magma. It swept through her armor fast enough to make her stand straight, hissing through her teeth with wide eyes. It felt like she was being _cooked_!

And all of that was before she saw the _literal_ _fire_ being collected at the points of all the humans' sticks. She snarled as she realized what they were doing. Her grip tightened on her lances _BANG_ breaking her blue lance into diluted magic.

She swept her red lance to her front, gripping it as she glared up at the humans surrounding her, the churning fire in front of them growing. The heat was getting worse the longer she waited. It felt like she was freaking _melting!_ Didn't help her sweat was starting to feel like her scales were peeling off with the stuff.

Undyne had to act _, now_.

"FIRE!" The yell from Wardes was a trigger.

The fire that had been collecting at the edge of all the wands was unleashed upon Undyne, like a veritable wall of fire. A fire wall that reminded her so much of _Asgore's magic_. It was almost just like it.

The heat, the sight, the sensation, the crushing collapse of her lungs. It was all there. But it wasn't _Asgore's fire_. It wasn't _his magic_.

It was _too weak!_

" _Weak!_ " Undyne roared, body spinning as she did so. Her lance struck out with the scream, sweeping through the first licks of fire that approached her. Her lance hit the fire and cut through it, easy as paper.

It vanished on touch. But it wasn't enough. There was too much. Too much for a single swing. The fire was getting closer, _crushingly_ closer, but she wasn't done. Undyne wasn't going to be satisfied with a _single_ swing. No way that'd ever be enough!

" _GRAH!_ " The black armored monster roared, spinning her lance over her head, letting its five-pronged tip and red rose bud end hit the fire as it approached, again and again and again. She spun with every swing, twisting her body across the earth as a tornado would, tearing through the earth as her lance made ribbons and ash out of the fire she struck.

And she kept swinging _SHINK_ as she kept spinning _SHINK_ faster _SHINK_ and faster _SHINK SHINK SHINK SHINK_ and faster.

She spun and struck before her eyes could keep up with the blur, the fire turning into an orange wall her red lance split again and again. The air crackled with the burning air, making Undyne scream with every strike she made, never relenting, never stopping. Stopping meant giving up, and she wouldn't! Not until every last speck of orange of fire was gone.

She was too DETERMINED to possibly stop.

_SHINK SHINK SHINK_

Then with a final slice, the red fell away. It left her staring, growling, and seething at the humans beyond the now finely chopped flames. None of them looked happy to see her. She was _thrilled_ to see them. So thrilled that she slammed her free fist into the ground, grabbing at the shattered stone and rock beneath.

" _Grit your teeth!_ " Undyne yelled out, screaming as she flung her arm up.

A shelf of earth, probably larger than the tower the Louise and her used to sleep in, came up with the action.

The humans dropped their swords and twigs as the column of stone came up, towering over them and leaving them hanging in its shadow. The monster held it over her head, grinning with wicked abandon as she looked for the man who deserved to be underneath it the most. The only one who wasn't going to have the chance to run far.

She saw him, eventually, running full tilt towards a flock of winged animals. Undyne didn't hesitate.

She tossed the stone column into the air. It groaned as he hung above her, its dark shadow casting night over the bluffs. The screams of the humans almost dulled out the shifting stone, cracking together as it descended to the battle-scarred earth below. The humans were pushing each other over to run away, abandoning the 'army' to save themselves. Nothing determined about them.

**_BOOOOOOOM_ **

She grinned as the stone column slammed into the earth, sending a cloud of debris past her. It whipped her hair like the traitor's magic, muffling all the sound around her. Her eyes shut, letting the pebbles and stones smash into her scales, flying like her lances had before.

Her armor boomed a she walked through the settling cloud of dirt and dust, crushing the stones that her boots fell on. Eyes alight with her DETERMINATION, she marched forward, looking for the human that didn't deserve the strength he had.

 _SHINK!_ She found him, his blade against the diaphysis of her shaft.

" _Knew you'd try that_ ," Undyne glowered down at the human. She grinned at his grimace, for once, so happy that she could get that typical human expression out of him with just a show of her teeth. " _Traitors like you, cowards, all do the same thing. Strike quick, from behind, and acting like it was all part of the plan._ "

"No plan survives the battlefield," Wardes shot back. If she wasn't so DETERMINED to kill him, it would've been impressive to hear. Would've, but wasn't. What was impressive, to Undyne at least, was the how the human grinned up at her.

Grinning, smiling even, as she pressed her red lance on top of him, until he was forced to his knees and looking up at her like she'd done to him before. Two hands to his blade and he could barely hold back her one. An army on his side, and she'd torn them to shreds like paper.

But he was still grinning under the brim of that dumb hat.

" _Got somethin' on your mind?"_ Undyne finally asked, leering over the human with dust settling around them. " _Clever last words ta carve on your tomb?_ " Didn't matter what they were. He was going to be _ash_ in a second.

"Just a few," he managed. Undyne leaned down to him, her free fists pulled back. Soon as he whispered them, she'd piledrive him into the earth. It'd be easy as a lap around the Underground!

"You're melting."

Her first froze.

_BANG!_

" _GAH!_ " Undyne jumped back as wind slammed into her. Dulled through her heavy armor, but blazing and sharp along her scales and eyes. Her lance swung through the air, hoping to catch the doubtlessly running him. She only hit the air that was hitting her.

Her boots came to a stop on uneven ground, eyes shifting for the human that had the _ludicrous_ comment. The one was going to be melting _and screaming_ when she got her hands on him! She worked her jaw, blazing eyes searching for the traitor again.

"Hear me loyal men of Albion!" And she found him.

Undyne saw him standing on top of some column of dirt that had shot up during the fight. Didn't matter how it got there, it made him an easier target.

_BANGBANGBANGBANG_

" _GAH!_ " Undyne yelled out as she brought a few of her blue lances to life. They shot forward with the speed that had before, barreling towards the purple dressed traitor. They still flew like bullets, but unfortunately weren't quite as true.

They shot left, right, and over the human, arching in different directions. Undyne growled as they went wide _BANGBANGBANG_ even as she brought more of them to life.

"The monster of the traitorous king is nearly defeated now! So close to her end by your brave deeds!" Trash talkers got trash dealt to them! Undyne whipped her red lance forward, treating it like a baton to direct the blue lances of her magic.

But the second verse was the same as the first, firing well over the human and out of danger. She ignored the veritable pillars of smoke they shot up as they hit the far-off tree line. That didn't matter. Only thing that mattered was the human who had guts and balls to spare… and spear.

"Join me now! Join me in one last assault against the _Undying monster!_ " That would've been a badass taunt if it wasn't directed at her. For now, it only made Undyne growl.

She snarled when she saw the last of the 'army' peaking out from the rubble. A head there, an arm there, a couple bodies from across the field, emerging like freaking daisies from the dirt. And they were all carrying their weapons, staring at her either from beneath heavy helms or disheveled hair. They were pissed, but only a freaking millionth as pissed as _she_ was.

She watched the human, watching _Wardes_ with his hand raised in the air, a confident grin that made him glow like some kind of evil demon.

Glow… that wasn't an illusion. That was magic.

From his hand.

" _The ring_ ," Undyne muttered, even as the human around her stirred. " _It's that STUPID RING!_ " She roared now. Her feet began to move, beating against the earth. There wasn't time to wait or think. She had to strike.

And now she knew _where_.

" _ARCHERS!_ " The traitor screamed. The twang of arrows filled the air the next moment. Undyne ignored them, rushing forward instead.

They beat against her armor like water from a waterfall, scrapping at her scales, tangling with her hair, and cracking what little of the earth beneath her that wasn't already shattered into dust and granite. None of it mattered to Undyne. Only Wardes did.

" _MAGES!_ " He screamed some more. This time, the familiar roar of fire filled the air, the pathetic attempt to be half as strong as Asgore. It wasn't even a tenth there now, which was half as strong as before.

Undyne threw her lance around her, slamming into the barrels and balls of inferno that attempted to cook her again. Her armor made her swelter with heat, her scales churn out sweat like she was swimming, but she endured. She could handle a workout in Hotland right now. A little campfire wasn't going to stop her now. None of it mattered to Undyne. Only Wardes did.

" _LANCEMEN!_ " More men ran in front of the show-boating human, running in front of the pillar he stood on. Lances were aimed at her, thin pieces of stick with a bit of metal on them. They weren't lances, they were sticks.

She roared as she swung _her_ lance forward now, breaking the pathetic arms like twigs from Snowdin. That blast and blows sent the humans cascading and screaming across the earth, the blowback from her swings like the hurricanes the _human traitor_ had made. But his were pathetic attempts to run away. Undyne was charging forward with hers. His attacks didn't matter. None of it mattered to Undyne. Only Wardes did.

Only the man standing alone atop his pillar of stone.

" _ANYONE!_ " The traitor yelled again.

No one came.

Only Undyne was there, jumping up with lance raised and teeth barred. Wardes knew he had to do something. Undyne knew he'd swing his sword. Her arm twisted, batting it away with a strong strike of her red lance. She knew what was coming next.

His hand raised his wand, the same hand that had that stupid purple ring. The wand that was aimed right at her, the same wand that had blown her back, blown up the earth, and sent the army of the humans against her like spiders on a piece of gold. Undyne's spear was in the follow through, she didn't have time to summon another spear, and she was right on top of the traitor.

So, she did what came naturally to her.

_CHOMP!_

And bit the hand of Sir Wardes.

" _GHYAAAAAAAAA!"_ the human screamed, pulling his stump of an arm. Undyne watched it, blood spurting out of the severed limb. His howling filled the air. " _WHAT HAVE YOU DONE?! WHAT HAVE YOU DONE?!"_ The answer was kind of obvious to her.

She'd bitten his hand off, clean as a steak.

She kept it in her mouth, rolling the digits between her tongue and teeth. The wand had already snapped, crude piece of stick that it was. The ring was still there, probably about as peachy as the traitor's soul. The hand, it was just so-so. Didn't compare to a good MTT Steak.

" _You SICK VICIOUS **BEAST!**_ " Undyne only felt her self glow with the words. The hatred of a traitor was like praise from a friend. Felt that way at least. "Do you have _ANY IDEA what you've DONE?!_ " That question again, answer seemed kind of the same.

Even as she chewed on the hand in her mouth. It was boney, gamey, and probably poisoned given the human's soul.

Undyne spat out his hand, letting it hit the ground with a wet splat. His blood and her spit mixing together on the charred and battered earth. She gave it a glance before staring at Wardes, the human, finally and completely, cowering beneath her. And it felt _great_.

" _Call it pay-back_ ," Undyne started, standing tall over the rotten human. " _Maybe karma, maybe a debt, I don't really care what. Good 'nough for me that you know you had it coming_."

"You _MONSTER!_ " the human continued to scream, his free hand grabbing at his severed limb tightly. From the fresh pair of eyes Undyne had, it wasn't doing much for the blood. His whole sleeve was a bright crimson, not to mention the ground beneath him. Didn't look like enough yet to her. " _I'll KILL YOU! I'll KILL YOU SO HELP ME-_ "

_SHINK_

" _No,_ " Undyne spoke simply, hand extended and blue lance raised.

Raised straight and through the despicable human.

" _That's not happen'. Not again, at least_." And this would make damn sure of it. And wouldn't you know it, the traitor must have had at least an idea of it as well.

He looked down at his chest, where her lance was jutting into. He didn't have a free hand to grab at it, only enough to stare down at the magical blue tool as red began to cough and spittle from his lips. He was getting heavier too, at least to Undyne. Heavy enough that she had to put some force into her lance to hold him up. At least for a bit.

As soon as she let go of the lance, he fell back with it, hitting the ground with an unceremonious thud. It was one of the greatest sounds she'd ever heard. It was the capstone of the whole experience to her, something she was DETERMINED to hear, and she felt satisfied to see.

Undyne's head leaned back, letting the wind wash over her. It was over. She'd won.

Her teeth barred themselves, bloody with the traitor's hand and gleaming in the sunlight. Back from the dead and with a vendetta to match, and she'd come out on top against an entire army on the surface. Top of the world and top of the Underground to boot. This was it.

" _I did it_ ," her words came out simply. Confirmation to her deed. " _The heroine saved the day_." It was a sweet sound to hear.

 _SPLAT_ The second sound wasn't so expected.

Undyne looked back down, searching for the source of it. She found it, quicker than she expected. And it wasn't something she wanted to see. Heck, it wasn't something she expected to see.

A finger had fallen off of her hand.

Fallen off, as in the metal of her gauntlet, scales of her flesh, and the bone beneath had all peeled off and were lying on the cracked earth beneath her. Undyne stared at the nub of her limb, wondering how it had gotten there. She looked at her hand, holding to her eye level. It took only a glance to realize what was happening.

The black steel of her metal was mixing with the blue scales beneath, churning like scrap stew dumped into the Waterfall rapids. They flowed into one another before dripping off of her hand, falling down her gauntlet and splattering on the ground beneath her. It was probably one of the single weirdest things she'd ever imagine she'd see.

She was melting. Like a freaking witch, she was melting. And the oddest part of it?

It didn't' even hurt.

Her free hand lifted itself up, poking at her missing finger. She didn't feel an ounce of agony as she touched the missing limb, no screaming pain like if she was picking a hardened scab from beneath her scales. It felt like… she was scratching something. That was it. Heck, it was almost a good feeling, and that was weird just to think of.

Weirder still, she knew what it meant. This was it. Coming back from the dead really was a temporary thing. That sucked.

Undyne looked down at her hand, the black gauntlet that was made from her DETERMINATION. Her pinky fell off with a wet slop, hitting the ground before bleeding into it. _That_ was a weird thing to see. Felt even weirder that she couldn't even feel it.

It didn't even feel real, even as she watched it happen. Dark black splotches of material drifting over and off her armor, taking the sharpness of the metal with it. Her arm still felt like it was there, even though parts of it weren't. Was she half-there? All there? Just having trouble holding herself together?

Undyne let out a wet chuckle, her chest gurgling with the noise. _That_ felt weird. Like she was swimming in… herself. Still didn't hurt. And that was probably the weirdest part. She was going to pieces and it didn't hurt. Heck, it was hard to say that she even minded at all.

She looked down with her eyes, staring at the purple ring she'd bitten off the traitor. It was sitting in the pool of herself, mixes of blue and black swirling around the gem. Everything because of some stupid ring the human had, some magical trinket that had made the rest of the undetermined humans do as he said. What a joke. She was falling apart because of some ring.

Undyne stared at it until she only had one good eye left. Still didn't hurt. Still didn't mind.

The ground was getting lower, too. It took Undyne a minute to realize it was because her legs were gone. Wet puddles that her waist was resting in, like she was standing up in the Dump again. Nothing to pull out of the water now though. Nothing left to grab.

Her jaw worked to make a joke, maybe say something that might make Derf crack a laugh, but she felt a tooth fall out instead. It hit the dark water that was herself with a splash, turning into the same goop. It fell into the cracks of the earth, disappearing from view. Disappearing like her sight.

Oh yeah, she was blind now. Still didn't hurt. Still kind of hard to care.

Maybe she should care, maybe she should be angry. It seemed like a good idea to Undyne, especially while she was melting like that witch from the old movie. Melting away into nothing. Maybe her worries were melting with her. It made sense, at least as much sense as everything else that had happened to her.

 _SPLASH_. Undyne heard her lance fall into the puddle that was herself, rattling against the wet dirt. Made sense that it fell, now that her arm was gone. Just like her legs, and eyes, and most of her chest. Most of her actually. Everything but her face. Her face was all that was left. That was okay. AT least to her it was.

If it was the last thing that the Surface was going to see of her, it'd better be her face and not the shine of her behind. Because there was no way she'd go out any other way that charging head forward.

What was she even thinking about? Undyne had no idea. Was this the going mad part of falling down? Maybe, but she couldn't really care. Still didn't hurt. Only person that was hurt was the one who deserved it. The blood of her hand was mixing with the melted metal and flesh of her own. Now _that_ was a morbid thought.

All of it just washing away, falling down like her DETERMINATION. Brought her back from the dead, now dragging her back into it. Yeah… that made sense at least. A monster couldn't be determined forever, not when she'd done what she'd needed to at least.

She was DETERMINED to save her friends, and she did. So, it made sense she didn't mind what was happening now. Because she got all her hopes and dreams answered.

Everyone was safe. Her friends, her partner, Louise, they were all okay. That was worth smiling over.

Undyne grinned, broad and straight, as she fell down…

**Notes for the Chapter:**

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	25. Good Night and Good Bye

Months, literal months, had passed since the battle for Albion.

Months since Prince Wales was welcomed back as the King of his nation. Months since Muffet returned to her master, some unknown noble leagues away. Months since she and Princess Henrietta returned to Tristian, hailed as heroes for saving the kingdom from war. Months since she had been given royalties and honors befitting the hero of a foreign kingdom and reclaimer of ancient relics

And months since she watched her partner die.

It was not a sight Louise could scrub from her mind, an image she could let lie or experience she could forget. Even now, months after the most horrid and dreaded of outcomes occurred, she could still see all that happened. It bore on her like her family's name.

Undyne, the Captain of the Royal Guard, impaled by her once loyal fiancé. Undyne, the Undying, using all the magic that brought her to life to make her whole again. Undyne, the True Hero of Albion and Tristian, melting away with a smile on her face.

Undyne, Louise's beloved friend, returning to the nothing she had been pulled from.

Louise shifted the blankets that covered her body, trying to drown herself in the soft fabric. She hadn't succeeded anymore the past few weeks. It was doubtful she'd succeed now of all times. It wasn't in her to succeed where others expected her to fail. It appeared the same was true for her own wants as well.

She was just a mage that couldn't keep her familiar alive, a _void_ mage that learned of her spells before they were good for use. Spells that were casted too late to matter.

A mage that wasn't meant for much more than wallowing in her despair. It was all she had left to her name. Her name, and not her families. She no longer had the Magic Academy. She no longer had an invincible familiar. And without either, she had little to speak of.

Though others did try and speak to her.

Her Highness Henrietta, the crown princess and soon successor to the throne, spent too many of her few free hours toiling over her, speaking of things that Louise didn't care to listen to. Promises of future events, recollection of events passed, or even general conversation of the day's happenings. Louise listened dutifully, as was expected when conversing with the ruler of the kingdom, but she did little more. Nothing could be said on her part, much like her name.

Siesta, the loyal maid of the Academy, was kind and gentle to her, far more than any house-maiden of her family's estate. She brewed tea, she delivered meals, she spoke often and visited frequently. Were their titles of little-importance, she would be closer to a friend than a servant. She was more than merely a servant. She was the Plebian that had aided in righting Undyne's sense of the world. Louise was just a failure.

Derflinger, the proud sword of a master familiar, was hanging up in the armor of the castle. Gone were the dusty bins he had been kept in before. Now he was side-by-side with the royal armory, to be marveled at in the same glory as the wands of noble kings. It was a position duly earned, for what little of him there remained to admire.

Muffet, though hardly any more a presence in her life than Undyne was now, kept frequent contacts with her highness throughout. She heard whispers from maids and servants about delectable shops within the kingdom, of the mystery of how they baked, and what they were. All Louise wondered now was why she was still here at all.

Agnes, loyal musketeer, was true to her word for Undyne's sake. The monster was remembered as what she was to the knights and musketeers. A hero, a legend, a soldier that died for the sake of the kingdom. It was all true, and all magnificent. It was all just years before anything else had been done. Years before the Underground had been found, or the monster had found her home.

Now, there was no home.

Undyne was dead, fallen down, and Louise felt she was close to the same. It was all she could think to do now. No matter the words that others whispered and spoke to her, no matter the promises they made, she knew the truth.

She was, once again, Louise the Zero. A noble without a familiar, a mage without confidence. She was what was often thrown away upon first sight and disregarded for the sake of greater accomplishments.

The pink haired girl groaned, rolling through the puffed blankets after another failed attempt to drift to sleep. At least in her dreams she could imagine she hadn't failed again, at the worst of times at that. But reality was far crueler to her, no matter how often it attempted to tease her of the success she should have earned.

She lifted herself up, back aching from the effort and locks of hair falling over her face. Louise rolled her head back, letting them fall away and knot themselves out of her mind. Her appearance hardly mattered if she was to stay away in her chambers till night fell. It was all she planned to do. There was little else she could do.

Her feet touched the carpeted ground, a soft thud made by her petite frame. She dragged more than walked her way through the room, approaching the windows across from her. Tiny hands, stiff and tired still, grabbed the blinds that hide the outside world from her. She pulled them away carefully, letting the sun spill over her like water.

Blinking eyes greeted the bright day, the sun already far past the horizon and nearly out of sight. Far past ten then, perhaps into noon. An early day considering the rest of the days prior. A waste is what it was, only forcing her to stay awake longer before she could excuse herself to bed. Any earlier and one of the servants, perhaps Siesta, would beg her to stay awake a bit longer. Her desires were secondary to their needs.

Louise settled herself in a chair, hands running through her long locks as she stared out at, at the bustling town beneath the castle walls. Watching the commoners work about their lives, interacting with one another with a cheer she couldn't mimic and energy that seemed impossible to replicate. The frequencies of shoppers, clerks, managers, and the odd chariot that rode through the town, parading a noble that befit him or herself to shop in such a district.

She watched it all behind the large window of the even larger room, two things she had been given for the actions of a monster she had summoned, and a friend she had failed. None of it mattered to her. Nothing did.

Her frail figure, petite, small, and still dressed in her nightgown, settled into the chair to stare out the window. Each day she saw something new, something to focus on, and each day she hoped it would be something to give her a reason to go on. But she was no Undyne, let alone a determined figure of history. She was just a Zero that couldn't use the power that was given to her well enough.

Instead, Louise kept her eyes on the baker as he set up croissants outside his shop to cool, gathering the attention of the flower shop keeper, entertained enough by the smell to hesitate from her own collection of potted plants along the outside sill. A conversation was soon formed between them, complete with laughter, nods, and fine words. Louise heard none of it.

Her eyes drifted downward to the garden yard of the castle, or what little she could see beyond the high walls and otherwise obstructing constructions. It was plain to see that Sir Agnes was in the yard, perhaps instructing new recruits or even practicing to herself. Her diligence was obvious even from stories up and meters away. It was hard to see her as anything else.

She looked down the street once more, hoping something new had been found. Louise's efforts were rewarded with spying Siesta walking down the road. Her maid uniform was easy to see, as were the contents of her bag. Food and such products, likely for her Uncle's place. She had invited Louise there once, promising that the atmosphere would help her. It hadn't last time, and the reminder of her failings would only be compounded by celebrating commoners.

She sighed, leaning her head back into the chair. Louise already felt tired again, body unwilling to move. Perhaps it was because she had no where she had a desire to move to. When you had nowhere to be, your body had a point of keeping itself still. Her father's words held a certain meaning to them, though she suspected this was not what he meant.

Not that it mattered in any other way. A Zero had nowhere to be, so she was content to stay where she was. It was the closest she'd get to a memory of Undyne, the Captain of the Royal Underground Guard.

 _Knock-Knock_. Louise turned to the door.

"Yes?" she questioned lightly, more than enough in the otherwise still room.

"Louise? May I come in?" There was no reason not to let her in.

"Of course, your highness," Louise answered, righting herself what she could Hopefully she would not be offended by her appearance. But there was little she could do to fix it. Let alone in such a short time.

The door to her chambers opened to show the Crowned Princess stepping through, her elegant lavender dress no less breathtaking than her porcelain features. Walking through a crowd, Louise was aware she'd be able to enrapture even a dullard in knowledge regarding the royalty. Meanwhile, a Zero such as here was only noticeable when next to superb individuals.

"I am glad to see you are out of bed," the princess spoke. "I feared you may still be resting at this hour."

"I awoke bare an hour ago, perhaps," Louise answered dutifully. "I apologize for my lack of proper appearance." The princess, having adopted a worried expression before, quickly fell into one of dismissal.

"These are your chambers and I will not entertain a need for you to prepare for _me_." Her words were strict and to a point. "Rather, I was hoping I could speak to you." It was why she was here, as a friend over a ruler, as she had said before.

"Of course, princess," Louise returned again. "I'm more than willing to listen." Her liege nodded in agreement, walking over and sitting in the chair opposite of her. Louise watched her, waiting for the conversation to begin.

At first, the princess said nothing. Princess Henrietta merely watched her, staring almost, with patient eyes. Eyes that Louise had become used to seeing from the many individuals who had frequented her room.

"The nobles today were rather persistent about joining with Albion again." Her voice was entertained as she spoke. Louise listened mutely. "They are determined to show that the acts of Sir Wardes were not by any means a ploy on our parts, though Prince Wales has been adamant that he understands. It is rather entertaining watching the other nobles busy themselves to please the foreign lord while knowing he has no ill will."

Louise supposed there was, though she could not summon such a feeling willingly or not. Prince Wales, wonderful and kind as he was, was not a figure she attributed to warmth or kindness, let alone peace.

"The instructors of the Magical Academy have been asking of you as well." Ah, she had nearly forgotten about school.

"Oh?" Louise returned simply, respectively.

"They have asked if there is anything they may do to assist you with your Void magic. Lessons, I am sure, though I felt the need to reply that they had knowledge of you before yet did nothing to aid you." That they did not, though knowledge of her powers she was not aware of.

Perhaps it was an open secret and she had merely let it slip her by. Such was the nature of a Zero.

"The maid Siesta has also applied her for work as well, citing the Academy and you as moral references." Louise was a bit surprised that the maid was already not one. Then again, perhaps she was merely expecting better of everyone than herself. "I have asked her to be stationed in the East Wing, as I am sure she has much experience preparing the chambers for nobles. Wouldn't you agree?"

"Yes, your highness." Louise returned easily again.

"And Muffet's small business has been expanding well into the kingdom," she began. Ah, the familiar of the Underground who had not disappeared. Even leagues away, _her_ master knew what they were doing. "She has offered to share many of her confections with us, even to spare some for you if you were willing to meet her. I believe… she wants to speak to you as well."

"Perhaps another time," Louise replied easily again. "I do not feel I would make the best of company for her at the moment." Honesty was expected in the face of royalty.

"Perhaps not," her liege returned. "Though I feel she, as a spider, will care little for your appearance. She does frequently speak of the need for function over appearance, even in pastries." She was a master of craft, so she would not best. So unlike Louise in her own.

Silence fell between them then, with Louise watching Princess Henrietta carefully, making sure her posture was straight and eyes focused. To be anything else, even while dressed poorly, was an insult to her friend. The Crown Princess had been patient enough with her.

A sigh left her monarch's lips, a deep one that Louise recognized. She woke up to releasing many of them.

"Louise," Princess Henrietta spoke to her, breaking the silence. It was the same way she always spoke to her. Full of love, and sympathy. "I have… a present from Wales. A book from Albion he believed you would benefit from, for what you and Sir Undyne sacrificed for his kingdom." Louise sighed through her pink locks.

"I'm sorry, your highness," she spoke kindly to her liege, even with eyes focused out the window. "I am just… not in the mood at the moment." You did need a specific mood to enjoy a good book. And Louise did not have it. Speaking of what Undyne had done, and how she was being rewarded for it, was nothing something she could enjoy.

"I am aware," her princess returned. "However, … I took the liberty of opening it before you." That was quite alright. She was her princess, after all. Requests were made only to be fulfilled, not considered.

"Is it something you desire, princess?" Louise asked. "I am more than willing to offer it to you should you require or desire it." Either was reason enough.

"No, no," her princess replied with a shaking head. "This gift… I am sure it is something only you can benefit from." With those words, she held out a book in her hand.

Louise knew not where she produced it from, but that was not something for her to wonder on. Instead, she reached forward, taking the thick text with little hesitation. It was a gift from a Prince, offered by a Princess, and an insult to two kingdoms should she even think to deny it.

It weighed heavily on her lap, resting with a strength she believed ancient tomes to possess. She doubted little that it was one. A prized possession from the Prince of Albion perhaps, a token of appreciation, something for Undyne's calloused and practiced hands, not her own dainty digits. It was just one more thing for her to enjoy and her partner to never witness.

She sighed lightly as she grasped the unimpressive cover. It would be rude to note glance upon it, not as Princess Henrietta watched her move across it. She would be expected to read something at least, to show some level of appreciation. It was what little she could do, being the Zero that she was.

Her eyes fell to some unnumbered page, eyes rolling over the text carefully. She may be asked what it was about, or at least details to prove her focus.

' _This GASTER creature is a monster like nothing that has been documented before._ ' Louise stared down at the words, blinking in confusion. ' _It possesses no matter of speech I can discern, which is annoying enough! It makes the same sound to the same questions implying a level of understanding, yet the Void magic has yet to decipher his speech!'_

Now her eyes widened, blinking, and hurdling over the pages.

"Huh?" She let out, confused. Her hands grasped the edges of the cover again, thick volume of pages between her fingers. She flipped the pages over, finding another bout of convenient text to read.

' _My familiar of bones,_ pure bones _, laughs as if he possesses lungs the likes of which dragons would be enamored to hold!_ " A skeleton familiar? No such thing existed in Tristian or the rest of the world. Except…

"Louise?" Princess Henrietta asked, and she foolishly, perhaps ignored her.

Louise was busy flipping through the pages faster, finding more text to read, finding anything that she could easily grasp.

' _I've never heard of this_ plane _creature before, but her ability to fly is something that I am sure many would be astounded to hear of from familiars, especially those who may speak!_ ' Speaking familiars, _monsters_. Louise flipped to another page.

' _Though slimes are common enough through the world, this one of mine appears truly unique! It holds conversations with a mixture of rhythm and sound, converses with other monsters and convinces them to dance, and has even managed to replicate its size!'_ Not just familiars, _magical_. Louise flipped to another page.

' _A wizard as a familiar was something taught for the last few decades to be_ impossible! And yet _, as I watch her float around with an armless body, this Madjick is able to work out spells outside of the paradigm schools of magic. Not only that it speaks in magic words._ _Please is such a grand thing to hear_ ' Louise flipped to another page.

' _A king of monsters… my familiar for my life_.' Louise hovered on the page.

"Louise, what does it say?" She continued to ignore her liege, staring at the text, enthralled and terrified of the words written. She read them more carefully than she did the hundreds of citizens she had watched the past few months.

' _A monstrous being with fur as alabaster as snow and fine for a king's coat. Armor golden like the sun and a spear red as the blood it may draw. Yet, he speaks with a kindness that I cannot disrespect. He fails to see me as his master, yet I can understand why. Grand as I am, having a king bow to me, that of monsters, would be an accomplishment herald in tales of yore and song._ ' It was difficult to breath.

' _Though a king he calls himself, and appearance and strength prove him to be, he continues to converse with the commoners as if they were his equals, in a manner most undignified. Maids and cooks talk to him, bowing as they properly should, but followed by him patting their backs with a hand that could just as easily crush them like wood. Instead, he laughs, laughs as if they were speaking jokes to him.'_ This was him… this was who Undyne swore fealty to.

' _His magic, for a king of any race must possess an aptitude of magic, is odder still than my own Void incantations. Fiery spells that are no doubt worth of an ardent name, yet with a green thumb about him reflected in the bountiful garden he has bloomed in not but a few weeks' time. The children of nearby estates visit often, and I cannot tell if they come for me, for him, or for the garden he made. They pay such attention to each_.' It had to be him. It was… It really was.

' _But odd that he is, I will not disrespect a familiar as grand as him. Truly this monster, the King of the Mountain, has earned his place as my familiar. Nah, perhaps I should say, as my partner, for it will be shoulder to shoulder he will assist me through this eventful life I am sure to embark upon._ ' Where was it… where?

 _'King Asgore, my monster of a familiar_.' It was…

"Louise!" She felt arms on her shoulders, pushing her back until she was staring at the face of her liege. It was only then she recognized the terror in Henrietta's eyes, just as she realized the hazy tears in her own. "What happened?! Are you well? Do you need me to contact the physician? Or perhaps I should remove the book-"

"No!" Louise shouted, stopping only when she realized who she was shouting to.

She stared up at the princess, who bore back down at her in shock, well deserved at that. It couldn't be let to lie.

"N-No, your highness," Louise returned again. "I… I am _immensely_ grateful for this. I am…" She spoke no dishonesty in her words. She never would.

"Louise…" her princess returned in equal parts shock. Was the insult to grand? "You… you're okay." It was an odd thing to say, but her princess likely had good reason.

"I… am. I believe I am." Louise returned. The palm of her hand pushed at her eyes, pushing away the tears that hovered on the rim of her vision. "I just… this book has… it details the history of familiars… familiars of past mages… _void_ mages." She watched the realization dawn across her liege's face.

"The Tome of Familiars," Princess Henrietta returned. It was an apt name, and one that the princess rightfully picked. "It is said only void mages can read it. And… you can." Tears were welling in her liege's eyes. "And you've come back from it." That didn't make sense.

"Your grace? Are you well?" Louise made to stand, worry for her liege's tears. But she hardly got further than the lift of her back.

No sooner did the Crown Princess latch to her, pulling her close and burying her head into the crux of her neck. Louise's vision was swarmed with lavender. Her hearing was drowned by hiccups and gasps for air.

"You're back… you really are back." Back from where, Louise did not know. "For months I feared you had given up. And here… now you are back. I am… beyond words." Louise offered none as well. She had no idea what to say, fear for what may ruin the clearly delicate situation.

"W-Wales said the book may… he said it was for the kingdom's mage, yet he insisted it be given to you." The Crown Princess continued to speak into her neck, sniffling as she did so. Louise knew her gown was already due for a wash, so it hardly mattered. "I feared it would mean nothing to you, and yet… here you have finally read it… and I could not be more satisfied."

"I-I thank you, your grace, I-" She was silenced by Princess Henrietta pulling away from her, staring at her with red and bleary eyes.

"Do not thank me, Louise." It was an order in tone. "I… I have been _distraught_ for you recently. To see you so alive again, _awake_ …" Had she not been awake? No… that wasn't what her liege meant. She meant, aware. That, she could tell, she had not been.

"I'm sorry then," she returned. "I-I don't deserve to have you think so… so much for me and I-"

"No," the princess spoke again. "No, you deserve every bit of it, Louise." Her hands tightened on Louise's shoulders. She did not dare look away from the monarch. "You deserve so much more than what you have, because you have endured just as much. This, everything… it all remains _because_ of you _and Sir Undyne_." Ah… Undyne.

She was gone… just like all the familiars in the tome likely were. Likely… but…

"She is not here for me to reward, not anymore." Princess Henrietta looked no happier for the news. "But _you are_ , Louise. And I… I am so very thankful that you are." Louise felt her breath shake.

"Thank you," Louise whispered. Her voice was hoarse with tears she'd shed, but even more threatened to come. "Th-Thank you… Henry." She smiled broadly at the nickname.

And the Crown Princess of Tristian threw herself into the void mage again, laughing. Louise joined her old old friend.

It wasn't fair that she had lost the friend who had taught her about self-respect. It wasn't fair she had lost the friend who had been her partner through attacks, trails, and tribulations. It wasn't fair that she had been left feeling like nothing, when her friend had vanished into nothing at all. None of it was fair. But what in life was?

She was still here, with her old friend and future queen, with stories to read and life to experience. Undyne, the Undying Captain of the Royal Monster Guard, had given her life to let her kingdom march on. It would be nothing short of disservice to not see it flourish into a grand kingdom in her name.

Besides, Louise was confident she knew right were Undyne was.

It was written on the end of every page of the tome still held tightly in her hands.

 _' They've **Fallen Down and Gone Home**._"

* * *

There was absolutely no way to tell where Undyne was. Mainly because everything was dark, like pitch black dark. The kind of dark that came over the Underground when every light was off and the spiders tried to clog the holes in the ceiling. All Undyne really was sure of was one thing.

It was dark.

" _Uw, wy wacwing wad_." The words came out of her mouth, for sure, but they sounded wrong, distorted. All kinds of messed up. " _Aw wo, whaw wow!"_ Aw geez, she couldn't even tell if it was her hearing or her words. Losing either would just suck!

" _Wrrhhh wrhowen on!_?" Undyne twisted her body, flailing her limbs, righting herself as best she could. IF something was in her way, she'd _smash it!_

_SPLOOOSH!_

Her first flew out of the water, exposing her to the air above.

She stared up at it through her good eye, ignoring the water that rushed backed around her from the mini-explosion of her first. Happens enough you tend not to notice. What tended to _not_ happen a lot was falling asleep underwater and forgetting where she was. Yeah, that was a new one, and something that she really didn't want others to find out about.

The famed captain of the Royal Guard stood up, quick as she could, feeling the heavy metal she wore clang and bang as she did so. What a familiar feeling that was.

Actually, it was almost great to hear. That was weird. Yeah, she loved the stuff, custom made by Alphys. But she wore it every day. Why was now any different?

Speaking of what, where was also a good question. As in, where she was.

Only took a casual glance around to get her bearings on that.

"The… dump?" She mused, scratching the back of her long ponytail with her gauntlet. It nicked her scales, but left her grimacing face push her teeth up high. "The heck did I come down here fer?" Her good eye looked around, hoping to spot something to give her at least a little hint.

A ruined TV, heck of a lot of trash, rushing water from the waterfall, the usual endless pit, nothing new or even interesting on the barest level. Undyne felt her teeth grit. She drugged through the water, letting her boots blow pockets of water out of the way as the stomped through the submerged trash heap. Literally _nothing_ she saw reminded her of anything, anything _new_ at least.

That was usually a bad sign. Only would have been cool if she went full blown amnesia like an anime protagonist.

Right now, thought it was just recall, and that was the worst kind of amnesia.

"Gah," Undyne let out, gauntlet scratching at the back of her head, trying to recall _any_ reason for why she'd be down here, alone, in her armor, and _literally_ sleeping underwater. She had a great water tank back home, no reason to do it here! Heck Asgore even told her how bad idea it was to sleep in weird places.

Undyne blinked, feeling something… weird in her chest.

"Huh?" She let out, dropping her hand to touch the top of her cuirass. Metal didn't dent, as she knew Alphys's awesome handiwork wouldn't, but that wasn't what mattered. What mattered was the weird twisty feeling just inside her chest. "That's… weird…"

She had no idea what the feeling was, but Undyne was sure of one thing, she _hated it_.

Too bad she couldn't beat emotions out of herself. Hadn't worked last time at least. Maybe it was something Asgore could help her with.

Undyne frowned as the feeling rippled through her chest again. Same thing and no different than before. Some hollow hole inside her, something she really hated to feel.

Her snarl turned into a grumble, lips swaying as she twisted her head back and forth. Damnit, she was practically lost with how she got here and now she was feeling some weird shit whenever she thought of Asgore?!

 _Ping_. Like that!

"Calm down!" Undyne yelled down at herself. "It's my body and Ah'm tellin' ya to cool it!" the water rippled around her metal boots at the voice, just like it did whenever she let loose with her awesome lungs. Too bad her body didn't listen. Typical, her body was just too tough for her voice. Who'd have thought of that?

"Well this blow?" Undyne let out again, twisting her lips around her protruding teeth. "No combat gear set-up, no reason to be here, no _memory_ of here, and freaking weird feelings popping in my chest." Felt like the beginning to a human story, but not one she could recall. That just meant it wasn't worth remembering, cause no way would her mind let go of something awesome.

A sigh left her lips, wondering on what the heck she was going to do now. Stay here and keep looking through the dump? Probably not, she did that for fun, not to stress herself out. Go home a take a nap? Not after just taking a water nap for Angel knew how long. Talk to someone about it?

Yeah, that one sounded good. Undyne let her snarl flip up to a grin.

It was damn near impossible to get upset when she was thinking of her legendary friends. The best monsters in all the Underground. King Asgore! So long as she ignored that _stupid_ feeling, was the best guy to talk to over a good cup of tea. Sparing sessions were pretty ace, too.

Papyrus would be great to relax with, too. Probably had a lot to unload on her about his training cooking and all that, but she'd help him out. Probably get him to help her get her memory back at the same time.

Heck, if she wanted that, Alphys would be the chick to talk to! No way would her number one monster friend being anything else other than super helpful with her. Undyne could already feel that dumb feeling in her chest falling away at just the memory of her.

She didn't even get to Louise yet…

…

"Who the hell is Louise?"

Undyne asked herself, screwing her good eye as she looked at the ground.

"Louise? The heck kind of monster name is that?" That was a human name, and no way were there any humans she was friends with. Least of all short stacks with pink hair tall as they stood and not enough muscle on them to lift a basic boulder.

Now Undyne screwed her head sideways with her lips.

"Where the _heck_ are these ideas _comin' from_!?" She yelled up, letting the water splash around her again. Figures the Angle wouldn't answer her with this. He was too busy finding humans to help them break the barrier.

Oh yeah! That was something she could focus on! The barrier.

"That stupid wall of magic," Undyne grumbled, even as she let a small rise back over her lips. "Last damn thing keeping us from gettin' back to the surface." She recited it the same way she had heard it. Or close enough. "Wonder if Alphys's got a new idea on that thing?"

Yeah, that was an idea Undyne could get behind. Talking it up with Alphys for figuring out new ways to get around the barrier, or maybe just ways to get a couple of humans to help them out. Tomato more tomatoes as the humans said. Definitely what they said.

Her gauntlets fell to her hips, turning to face the oblivion behind her. Same thing that was as silent as Sans's mind, she was sure. She grinned at it, right into the face of death.

Just like a kickass monster hero would.

"Welp, no use standing around here," Undyne spoke as she turned. "Got too much to do then waste my time wondering."

Her boots clanked away, beating past the water and trash as she went. Crushed beneath her boots, kicked away, and sent to drift off into the oblivion behind her. She never let her good eye flick back. Whatever reason she'd fallen asleep there, didn't matter now.

Human scraps could stop her and bad dreams weren't things to worry about. Because in the end, there all that mattered were her friends. No way was she gonna mope about something she couldn't remember when there was something to do.

Just like a good anime might say at the end, her tale wasn't done.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So long my friends, thank you for being here until the end.
> 
> If you are enjoying this story, and I want to see where it goes or ask me questions, try and jump on my Discord to talk with everyone else. You won't be alone, I promise.
> 
> discord.gg/fgeV4ra
> 
> If you're really into my stories, and I can't thank you enough for it, try and check out my Patreon to see if there are any rewards you'd like to participate in. Be one of the first and be one of my heroes!
> 
> https://www.patreon.com/WizardofWords

**Author's Note:**

> If you are enjoying this story, and I want to see where it goes or ask me questions, try and jump on my Discord to talk with everyone else. You won't be alone, I promise.
> 
> discord.gg/fgeV4ra
> 
> If you're really into my stories, and I can't thank you enough for it, try and check out my Patreon to see if there are any rewards you'd like to participate in. Be one of the first and be one of my heroes!
> 
> https://www.patreon.com/WizardofWords
> 
> Thanks again for reading, checking, and reviewing. Take care and enjoy!


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